Steve Riddle explains why values drive decisions and behavior. He uses tools like the Real Deal Values Cards to help clients narrow down to seven core values, and shows how both positive and negative experiences shape what matters to you.
Hi, I'm Steve Riddle from Coach Station. Values. Why do we talk about them? Why are they important? Are they important? These are questions that I'm often asked and working with my coaching clients considering on their behalf and also on my own journey. Values to me are one of the most important things. In fact, over the last decade or more, I've realised that they are the most powerful parts of what drives myself. Certainly when I'm coaching others, I realise that understanding values is something that not only is important for their own understanding of their own behaviours and drivers, but also for motivations in terms of their ability and desire to be coached. Understanding themselves before having to worry about leading others and influencing others is a critical aspect. And I found values to be a really key part of that. So what are values? Really, they're the key things, the motivators, the drivers, the things that force you in some instances and drive you towards certain directions are really influenced by your core values. They do fluctuate over time. The order of your top 10 or 12 values may change, and something that was maybe slightly less important to you previously may become more important now. But generally speaking, your core values, those things that are most important to you, will stay around the same. As I said, the order may change, but what's important to you won't. One of the other questions that I'm often asked too is about whether values are driven by negative influences. And my answer to that is always that it can be driven just as equally or powerfully by negative or positive influences. Let me give you an example to explain that a little better. Let's say that little Johnny's an 8 or 9-year-old boy playing soccer with his father in the backyard. Now little Johnny may have set up a net and kicking a soccer ball towards the net. Now in situation A, Johnny may well have a father who's saying, come on Johnny, I've told you so many times. How many times do I have to tell you to kick through the ball? You haven't even kicked the ball into the net yet and you've had 10 shots. And so on and so on. And I think we all recognise that that's probably not an ideal scenario in parenting, but The point around values is that that's certainly going to have some influence on Johnny as he grows up. So a similar scenario but with a slightly different input. Now Johnny on this occasion is getting support from his father. He's getting guidance, he's getting the direction about how to do it. His father's quite clearly saying, don't worry about the fact that it's not making it to the back of the net. We're not worried about the end result at this point. We're just trying to get the technique right. So good on you, Johnny, you're putting your left foot next to the ball and kicking through it. That technique's fine. So it's a different arrangement, it's a different situation, it's very supportive, it's very encouraging. Now, the point that we're talking about here is values. Now, why would I mention about little Johnny in point A and point B here? Well, Johnny may well grow up having respect as a core value for himself. Clearly, our parents have a strong influence on our values overall. So Johnny, in this instance, may well be deciding that respect matters. Now, it can come from equally important place of a negative experience or a positive experience. When I'm working with my clients in coaching and mentoring, I often use the Real Deal Values Cards with them, and we go through a process to reduce that 80 down to the core 7 values. The values assessment and the strengths development that I do are the 2 most powerful pieces of material that I use. There's no doubt that both strengths and values resonate most clearly with people. And I think for similar reasons. It really gives people insight into who they are, what motivates them, what drives them, and it can help them understand some of the decisions they've been making. And the reasons, in some cases, why they've been particularly frustrated or angry or disappointed or joyful or whatever the feeling might be. And when we understand our values, it's not necessarily going to mean that we don't feel those emotions, but what it will do is help us to understand where they come from. And that's where values can play a really powerful part in your life. So I really encourage you to find a way to understand values. There's plenty of assessments online. And if you want to learn more, please contact me. I'm more than happy to be contacted via email or telephone and more than happy to speak to you about values. In the meantime, keep developing, keep learning, and I look forward to speaking to you again soon.
