The 1% Phone Battery Life Rap

That's funny. Hang on, would you pause it? I just want to show you my latest video. Okay. I think this could be the one. What do you mean the one? I think this one could go viral. Oh, like the last one did? Hey, that's not nice. Come on, get on with it, man. All right, chill out, chill out. Been on Facebook and Instagram flex. Phone working hard, it's getting vexed. Ordering myself an Uber exec. 5-star rating, got Uber respect. Song is playing while I'm chatting to Hassan. Like that shit, swap it out, Shazam. Phone be like buzzing on WhatsApp, mum's calling for a daily chat. Hits 10 followers on Snapchat, celebration time, celebration vibe. Yes, you know I'm feeling fine. iOS taking all my attention, draining too much energy to mention. Out for the day, ain't got my charger. On a date tonight with this girl Tamara. Then I look down, cuts me like a knife. Bollocks, man, only got 1% battery life. I'm not good enough. I'm on that 1% battery life. Got no charger, my phone is gonna die. Stranded alone, I become, I cry. I got 1%. 1% battery life. Did phone first aid, so all is fine. Know what to do, luckily. Gotta give it a kiss of life, so I switched off the 4G. Now the situation's got kinda dangerous. Got no Google Maps, got no compass. Phone rings, oh shit, it's Tamara! It goes dead downtown, that'd be drama. This is some Candy Crush saga. She's gonna be one angry bird. Should've saved a battery for her. This is a problem that I can't ignore, so I head my way to the Apple Store. Get there before the store heads close. No genius in sight. Where did they go? Fruit and veg out on display. Looks like it just ate my day. Apple man lends me his charger. Now it's game on FaceTime with Tamara. Soon I'll be in spoon in heaven. Oh no, it's for an iPhone 7. What is it with you lot? Why are you always changing your charges? It's costing me a fortune, man. Well, what you got saved yourself? I just work in a fruit shop. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Heard it all before, mate. Head my way to a red phone box. Don't know my number. Fuck am I lost? I'm on a 1% battery life. Got no charge. My phone is gonna die. Stranded. I think I might cry. I got 1%, 1% battery life. I'm on that 1% battery life. I got no charger, my phone is gonna die. Red phone boxes, oh so rare. Try and take a selfie, crying despair. No status on my date, 2 days to update. No battery life is making me irate. Feeling lonely, so 2003, can't even send an emoji. So I pick up the phone, get through to operator. Yes, selector, selector, selector. Feeling good vibes in my new upfold. One minute late, I'm through to Domino's. Order a large cheese and tomato. Simple things, simple taste. Let's keep it simple and pump up the bass. Suddenly I got no distraction. Finally I'm filled with satisfaction. Next call is dessert delivery. The best things in life definitely ain't free. 30 minutes later, I got my hands full. Pizza and tit is more than I can handle. Fuck a 4G, small version for me and big up the phone box family. One percent, one percent, one percent, one percent, one percent battery life. One percent battery life. Bollocks. Yo, thanks for watching. Hope you enjoyed the video. If you want to see more from Off Key World, then please subscribe, and you can check out further videos in these links.