Day 11 - The Missing Key to Manifestation

Hello, welcome to day 11 of The Missing Key to Manifestation. I'm Susie. This is Susie Unshaped, where we unshape all the belief systems that we have layered on over our lifetime, um, so that we can actually start living from joy and in alignment with our true selves. So day 10, I waffled a bit, and, um, congratulations if you stuck through me with that one, but Because I did go round and round in circles and I did get my points across, but it took a little while. Um, anyway, today I actually took another day off from filming yesterday. Um, I was so exhausted, like bone tired exhausted. I couldn't even keep my eyes open. And then I was going to film. I usually film at nighttime, just at dusk, because that's when the lighting's good and that's when I have stopped driving the kids everywhere. And last night the kid driving just took way longer and I didn't get back till it was pitch dark. And anyway, My point being is yesterday I was exhausted and I wanted to bring through the point of, I'm saying that where our energy is leaking is the parts of us that we need to look at and we need to heal. And what I mean by, like, I think I probably sort of made it sound like sometimes a lot bigger than it is. Like, you might be giving your energy away to other people and doing things, I don't know, doing stuff that you just are used to doing that maybe not be in your best interests. Um, and so yesterday was a really good example of when I need to protect my energy from myself. So I was exhausted and Pushing through and making it happen, making the recording happen, was only going to like take me out of alignment. And the align— in the alignment being that I just needed to rest. So that, that's the self-abandonment showing up big time. Um, when you push through things because you should, Instead of doing what you need. And I know, like, there are things that are non-negotiables. Like, I cannot leave my kids at school. Well, I can, but they, they— you know what I mean? There's certain things that are unavoidable that you have to do. They're not the ones I'm talking about. I'm talking about the ones that you are putting on your own plate that are leading you to leak energy, basically. So self-abandonment plays such a big role in this process. So if you're new, I suggest watching from day 1, but I'll give you a quick recap. The Missing Key to Manifestation— I was inspired by the— still don't have the name right— Hoponono no Pono prayer. Anyway, it's an ancient Hawaiian prayer, which is, I'm sorry, please forgive me, thank you, I love you. And I got the inspiration that we need to do all 4 parts for the parts of ourselves that we have been abandoning. Because like societal conditioning, social conditioning, like family conditioning, like we've been taught these ways to live and we've never been taught to question, actually, why should I do that? Or do I really want to do that? Or can my energy sustain that at the moment? So The parts of ourselves that need the most compassion, which is the I'm sorry and forgiveness, are the parts of ourselves that we've been abandoning. Um, we've all heard a million things about gratitude, about being grateful for what we have right now. Doesn't mean you can't order your desires for the future, you can, but you need to bring it back to being grateful in the now moment and The Living from Your Heart Challenge I did in January, um, which is a 31-day challenge plus some extras, and it is amazing for understanding why we are the way that we are and how living from your heart in a 3D world, like how it's not actually this big huge revelation, it's actually the minute details day to day. is where you're actually gonna see the most benefit. It's in the split second before you drink your coffee in the morning. And instead of gulping it down while simultaneously unpacking the dishwasher and remembering neither, we just take a second to pause and just, I'm just gonna drink my coffee. And if it's too much chaos in the morning, maybe you have a travel cup and you take it in the car with you to work and then enjoy it on the way to work. But it's a split second of awareness. Of I'm drinking my coffee right now and I'm going to enjoy every second of it. I'm going to remember drinking my coffee because otherwise you get to like 9 o'clock and you've dropped everyone off and you're like, did I even have a coffee? Like, you can't even remember if you had one. Like, I actually even— I do that in the shower. If I'm not present, I won't remember if I've washed my hair or not. I'll be like, did I wash it? Are you touching it? Did I wash it? I can't tell. I can't remember. Oh, we better do it again. Which reminds me of that movie Two Weeks Notice with Sandra Bullock and Hugh Grant, and she goes to him, I'm so stressed out with all your stuff, basically I can't remember if I've even washed my hair, so I wash it twice. Anyway, it's the same, like you don't even need to be stressed out by someone else, you couldn't have just loaded up your plate so full that you can't remember, did I wash my hair or not wash my hair, did I drink that coffee, I can't even remember. Because we are rushing through life, like trying to get to the next, to get the next cab off the rank ticked off. Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick. Got that done. Got that done. And look, I am the capital number one offender at that. Like I actually used to jam so much into my days that I would text my great friend Kate at the end of the day and I'd be like, so this is what I did today. And it'll be like 58 things. And I was just like, that is not actually deserving of a medal for cramming so much in. Yes, I could do it and I did do it, but I had just known no other way. It's like you just made it happen. There was no other option. You didn't take things off your plate because you might be a bit exhausted or tired from doing it all. That was just how we were always growing up. It's just how it was. So this process is about, like, for example, me yesterday, like bone tired Susie was just like, sorry, productive Susie. So like we just cannot today. I am so sorry about that. And productive Susie's like. I don't know about this. Like, we're gonna get behind and we need to do all of these things. And Bone Tired Susie was just like, look, I love you, Productive Susie. I am so sorry that I am taking my seat at the table and saying, hang on, Bone Tired Susie just needs a hot minute here. Like, we're just gonna take it, take some time. To recharge the batteries. And then you know what, Productive Susie, then you can take over. And guess what happened today? After I'd had my day of rest, Productive Susie got her morning this morning and we did a really ugly job of taxes. And taxes are the most boring, like, like hard to motivate yourself thing to do. But because I'd had the rest yesterday, Productive Susie was like, I'm rolling up my sleeves. I'm like, what are we tackling today? And I've been writing my book and doing so much fun creative stuff, and she was like, let's just get those taxes done. And I'm like, you know what, yeah, let's get the taxes done. So because I'd protected my energy yesterday and let bone-tired Susie write most of the agenda— like, I still had commitments, I had to drive the kids here, I had to be at places, I had, I had things that actually had to get done— but bone-tired Susie got to Right, the rest of the day. And so that put me into balance, back into balance and back into alignment because I didn't fight it. I didn't fight through it and let Productive Susie like jump in ahead and take over. Um, so protecting your energy is an internal job as well as it is from like external influences. Like overcommitting and, um, all the things you should do, which that's what I want you to question. Why should you? Like, why should you do it? Do you want to do it? Are you just saying you should? Like, I use the example of I should do the washing. I should do the washing. And then I'm like, do I want to do the washing? And do you know what? 9 times out of 10, I'll be like, do you know what? I don't wanna do the washing right now. Nope. And then I think about it and I'm like, yeah, no one needs anything right now. No one's asked me for something specific. We're good. We can just leave the washing for now. Um, and then there's also that the time when the, that 1 out of 10 time where I'm like, do I, should I do the washing? It's like, actually, Pen needs her uniform for tomorrow, her flag uniform. So I actually want to do that. I want to have a clean uniform for her so that she can go out and Be fresh and clean for her game. And so I want to do that. So it's just really dissecting the, the shoulds. Are they a real should and there's no real benefit to you for, for doing it? Or are they, I want to do it and the benefit is it will bring me joy for Penny to have a clean uniform? Oh, actually, that's something I did do yesterday when I was exhausted, and maybe that's what took it out of me finally. My insinkerator was backed up and I was like, oh my God, I don't want to have to deal with this. So the night before, like, the whole sink was backing up and I've been doing some DIY, like, drain cleaning and pest control and stuff. And I was like, oh my God, have I broken it? Have I broken the insinkerator? And I was like, I just sort of forgot about it. But then the sink was backing up, nothing was draining. It was disgusting. It was gross. So yesterday morning I dropped the kids off, got into the kitchen and was like, Right, okay, we are fixing this incinerator. So me and ChatGPT, I got down there. I didn't even have gloves. I had to use like Ziploc bags from the kids' sandwiches to put my hands in. And anyway, because I was like, have I like ruined the incinerator? Because I put like Drano and stuff down it. I was like petrified because I'm like, oh, I don't, I don't really want to have to buy a new incinerator right now. Long story short. I tripped the red button. I managed to get an Allen key, whatever it told me to do. I ratcheted it underneath and got it twisting a little bit, so then that drained out the disgusting muck, which then allowed me to put my hand in and find the teaspoon that was jammed in there. And also, you know those mesh bags that avocados or lemons come in? One of those had wrapped all around the rotors, so I found that, I cleared it, we untripped the red safety switch, we turned it back on, and voilà, the insinkerator was fixed. But after that, I was like, you know what, I'm— look, it took me 15 minutes. It didn't even take very long, but that was just like the straw that broke the camel's back. I was like, I'm so tired. I tried to write some of my book. I was just doing some editing. I thought, I'll just read some chapters. And I thought, I'll just do it in bed because that's like nice and relaxing and you can do that easily. nice and cozy. It was a bit overcast and gray, and I was still just too tired from that. So I suppose Productive Susie did have her morning. She got a really big important job done because not being able to use your kitchen sink is really irritating and annoying and a little bit disgusting. So, um, sorry, there we go, Captain Digression over here. My point being is that Not all of these, um, the unalignments, I suppose, that when you're out of alignment and not in balance, are not always from external sources. It's the pressure we put on ourselves, which I think is the biggest source. The pressure we put on ourselves then feeds into the other. Behaviors like People Pleaser Susie and, and Greedy Susie. And, but I suppose I'm trying to differentiate between energy leaks externally from you and then energy leaks internally from you. So like, I think I was saying the body keeps score and that when you overexert yourself, like, you will have to pay the piper. And those, like catching them and realizing it. Like yesterday, I could have pushed myself further and forced myself to do more, but just being aware, I was like, do you know what? I am just like exhausted. And I, and I think I put, I put a show on. I watched, I caught up on some of my, um, Apple TV watching. That just randomly cut off. Maybe, maybe my phone was saying, you are waffling too much. The point is, I did something yesterday. I put on TV at about 10:30 in the morning, and that is normally, uh, like, productive Susie would be like, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, you cannot do that. What do you mean you're gonna watch TV at 10:30 on a Thursday morning? And I was like, but I'm just so tired. Like, I think I'd already done a meditation thinking it might rejuvenate me. It did not. I was just exhausted and I was like, I can't do anything. Like, I was actually so tired it hurt. I thought maybe a meditation might even help me, like, maybe have a nap. Not— it didn't. I can't. I'm a very bad napper. But my point being is sometimes you need to do the things that don't feel natural to you in order to protect yourself. And I think if anyone did listen to my cat story the day before, um, that was me doing something that felt unnatural. Like Sensible Susie was like, hell no, we can't get a cat. And Take a Risk Susie was like, we're going to look at a cat. And Sensible Susie was like, no, no, no, no, no. And Take a Risk Susie was like, ah, we're going. And off we went. And I mentioned that that then brought in this fabulous, um, opportunity with an event next week. So I think— what's the saying? It's like nothing changes if nothing changes. So I am like, like, what's the word? I can't even think of words now. Begging you. Let's say begging. It's not begging, but, um, pleading, uh, uh, whatever the word is, it doesn't matter. I'm begging you to Start looking at places that you could change things, because nothing changes if nothing changes. Like, do you need to— like, are you someone that can't leave for work in the morning without having the beds made, the dishwasher on, the sink clean, the benches wiped, all of those things? Or like things like that, which it's like you've got this set of rules that you're adhering to. And you can't even remember. Like, yes, you like it nice and neat and tidy, but if you left it and the dishwasher wasn't unpacked, or— and there were dishes in the sink, rinsed of course because we would not have ants everywhere, but like cleanish dishes in the sink, uh, maybe you haven't wiped the bench and there's a bit of a coffee mark and like a coffee spoon or something on it. Like, it's those sorts of rules that I want you to look at that Are they serving you or are they eating you? And I'm not saying that it has to be like you can't— like that your house is just going to turn into a pigsty. I don't mean it like that. I'm just like, maybe occasionally to protect your energy and to protect those energy leaks that are resulting in you being depleted and feeling exhausted, maybe you just leave the kitchen messy one morning when you go off, and that might just buy you a little bit more sanity and allow you to just feel a little bit more whole. Maybe that whoever is the rules— rules Susie, sensible Susie, um, OCD Susie— I'm not OCD, I'm definitely not OCD, but, but I've started doing this a lot more because I could tidy and do laundry and clean the kitchen. I could do that day in, day out. And you know what? It's always still there for me to do again. So I now sometimes just like, okay, I see that. I see that mess. But right now I would actually rather do XYZ, whatever that is, because I can otherwise spend my whole life tidying, cleaning, washing, all of those things. But if I don't do them for a couple of days, yep, the house is a bit messy and the laundry basket is a bit more full, but it doesn't matter. Like, life still keeps going. Like, everything keeps working and moving along. Would I do it if there was something that my heart said, oh, I want Penny to have a clean uniform? Definitely, 1,000%. And that would be my trigger to do it. But I'm not just doing it because I should have the laundry clean, I should have the dishwasher unpacked, and Sinks and dishes not in the sink. Like, this is— I'm using those examples, but this is how I do it. But you'll know your own set of rules that you have. Like, I must make my bed in the morning. And yes, I love having my bed made, but occasionally I don't do it. And the difference is I don't let that ruin my day or like beat myself up for the fact that I didn't get my bed made. Or I didn't unstack the dishwasher. I like— eventually it will happen. And like, I actually get inspired. In fact, yesterday I was inspired to scrub the bathroom floor. Actually, sorry, we had one more interruption. I was talking about scrubbing my floor, my bathroom floor. I'd wanted to do it for ages. I ended up just doing it and it was It took me like 5 minutes or 10, like maybe not 5, 10 minutes to scrub it like properly on my hands and knees. I scrubbed it with like a brush and then it was done. So that's my point is we build up these jobs in our heads and the only thing we're doing is putting undue pressure on ourselves. So that's what I want you to just look at is like, what are you doing in your day-to-day life where you are putting undue pressure on yourself? Because productive Susie, or like sensible Susie, like rules Susie. I've got these rules, but this is how I live, and this— like, I have everything perfect, and it always looks that way, and I do everything to make sure it's that way. It's like, but is it feeding you, or is it eating you? Like, are you missing life? Like, just going through life on autopilot trying to get all this stuff done And missing the point, which is to actually be present. I know, cliché, be present, but be present and like notice what you're going through. Like, like, as in not going through, I mean like, like what, like life is like lifing around you. It was actually really interesting. There was a post on Instagram this morning while I was at the doctor's waiting with my daughter and, um, There was a list of about 8 things that you were allowed to pick one that you were allowed to know. And it was like the day of your death. It was like, um, what your meaning and purpose is in life. It was the what your net worth is going to be. Um, it was who the love of your life is going to be. It was like who's going to betray you. It was all of these things. And I thought about the list and I was like, in actual fact, I wouldn't want to know any of that. Because if you knew those things, you would be missing out on the journey to uncover them and to figure them out and for them to like surprise you. And so I wrote none. And then it was quite interesting in the comments, like for example, the day of your death, like what date you're gonna die. Because the person said, well, that way then I could plan and live my best life up until that day. And whilst that's true, I think if you had that date in mind the whole time, it would actually give you a sense of dread and anxiety, which is quite amusing because that's the one thing that is guaranteed in life, is that we will die. Our human bodies will die. They are not made to live forever. And they will, like, it is the literally the, the guaranteed thing is that you will die at some point. But it's the, in the living, that's what we came here to experience and enjoy in the journey of discovery and uncovering. And wow, look what happened here. Oh my God, I didn't expect that. Like, even like a heartbreak or betrayal, it's like, whoa, didn't see that coming. But all of those parts is the point. So the link I'm making here is if we're so busy ticking off our to-do lists and following our rule book, we are missing those parts of our, like, we are missing the journey. Have you ever done that? Like been driving somewhere and then you get there and you think back and go, oh, I cannot remember how I even got here. Like, that's how out of it you were. And like, yeah, you're driving, you're probably safe, but you are so not present. You are so far away on another planet, you don't even remember driving to get there. Like, that has happened to me multiple times. In fact, it happened to— it happens to me in like chunks of months, and I'll be like, turn around and go, whoa, what just happened? Like, where'd all that time go? Because you're so busy and caught up in our heads that we forget to experience life as it is right in front of us right now. Okay, so we have some very disjointed, disjointed, um, recordings today. I hope that they flow okay. Um, and your homework tonight is just, what is your rule book? Like, what are certain rules that you have? I want you to write them down. Like, I used to have a rule, and this is so bizarre, but I always had to have a pedicure, like with proper gel nail polish. I always had to have a pedicure. Anyway, when I got to the US, I was like, all of a sudden I need my budget to go towards other things. And all of a sudden I did not need to have a pedicure, and the pedicure went out, out the window. And, um, and I still like to have painted toes, but I also have gotten used to just wearing them like actually chipped, chipped. Like, to me, that before was like such a rule. Like, I can't wear open-toe shoes with chipped toenails, or I can't wear open-toe shoes with no nail polish on. Why? Like, that's only my own judgment on myself. Of course you can. Millions of people do it all the time— wear shoes without no nail polish on or wear chipped nail polish. Like, Why do you have to hold yourself to that standard? Why? Yes, it looks lovely, but what are you willing to sacrifice in order to tick that rule and keep that rule going? So now I mostly just paint my toenails myself, but that's another story, which is— anyway, click off if you need to. You do not need to know how I do this, but I have got really ugly toenails. I think all toenails are ugly. They are stumpy toes. And so actually, you do not need to know this. I'm just going to stop talking right now. I love you lots. What rules are ruling your life that are actually taking away from it at the same time? Do you have to have the dishwasher stacked and on before you leave the house? Like, is it going to kill you if You come home at night and the dishwasher is still dirty and hasn't been put on and there's dishes in the sink. It's not— I'm not saying do this every night, but I'm just like, where can you buy yourself grace and start looking at these unrealistic expectations and allow Sloppy Susie and Messy Susie and, and Lazy Susie, like, their turn at the table to say, actually, Today we're just not going to make our bed and we're not going to unpack the dishwasher and we're going to leave dishes in the sink. We're just going to do that. And Sensible Susie, Rules Susie, Productive Susie is like, no, we never do that. We never ever ever ever ever do that. Nope, that's not how we look. Look at the rule book. Uh-uh, we do not do that. It's like, no, we're letting Sloppy, Messy, Lazy Susie is going to have the morning this morning. It's just her turn. She's just gonna— today we're not going to. And instead, like, relax, Susie is going to sit out in this, like, sit out with the sunshine and take 3 minutes for her coffee. Because yes, the dishwasher and the dishes would take 3 minutes, and the coffee will take 3 minutes. I can either race through one completely not present, maybe drink my coffee at the same time, not remember either of them, or I can leave them for later when I have more time when I get home and go and enjoy my coffee. In the sunshine. I need to put my feet on the grass for 3 minutes. I am talking 3 minutes. Okay, and on that note, I love you lots and I will see you tomorrow. Bye.