Day 13 - The Missing Key to Manifestation

Hello, welcome to day 13 of The Missing Key to Manifestation. I'm Susie and this is Susie Unshaped, and here we unshape everything that's holding you from living your most amazing life. Anyway, okay, so I thought day 12 was actually a really good recap of kind of where we're at. All these parts of us that, um, we have disowned and put in the closet We need to invite them out in order to give them the compassion and forgive ourselves for thinking that they were bad, because without them, we're not whole. So the missing key is the 4-step process that I had the inspiration to put together and like tell these parts that we're so sorry for neglecting them and ask their forgiveness. For not realizing that they were beautiful and made us whole and make us who we are, like all the little bits of us. And, um, then we can say like the gratitude, thank you so much for looking after me all the time. And then I love you so much. So it's, I'm sorry, please forgive me. Thank you, and I love you. So that is all about the angry and the selfish and the lazy and the— all those, um, character traits that we were taught since we were very young, since we can remember. We needed to dim those parts of ourselves and like make them small or hide them away because that's not what good people do. Good girls, good boys. Be a good girl, be a good boy, be a good girl and be quiet for your mother. And so we've had these reinforced to us, and I linked it to, to our central nervous system and being accepted and acceptable and how it is a safety mechanism. And without it, our central nervous system thinks we're gonna get kicked out of the tribe and we're going to die. So we breathe through that. We invite them to come to our round table. Sit down with all the good parts. We welcome all the supposed bad parts, and then we can integrate all the parts of us as a whole, and then we can feel deserving. Because if we've told greedy Susie, no, we can't be greedy, we can't have what we want, in the closet you go, and we're trying to manifest something. We've already literally told ourselves that we don't deserve to get everything we want. So just let that hit again. Like we have told, like write down on a list all the times when you haven't spoken up for what you actually wanted. Those are the blocks and those are the parts that we need to bring out, sit at the table and say, actually, you do deserve to get what you want. Like you deserve that. Lazy Susie, you do deserve to lie on the couch all day and watch TV on a Thursday. You deserve it. You don't need to achieve in order to deserve lying on the couch. But we've been programmed for like years and years and years and years and years and years that well, it's a Thursday. You're gonna just lie on the couch. You've got to be productive. You've got to be good Susie. You've got to do all your things. Do all your jobs. Like And then that's when like Anxiety Susie comes in. It's like, oh, we need to work. We need to work. We need to work. We can't not work. So these are the parts that, these are the emotions. But today I'm actually gonna talk about something that conceptually I know, but I was recent at, recently at an event called Brilliant by the wonderful Kerry Murphy. And she had us do a section on money, and she had us write down— I've got my notes here— growing up money meant. And I wrote so many words, and they were about my conditioning around money. And so I realized, even with you guys and even in the last challenge, I've always skirted around the topic of money. Like, I've said scarcity, I've said lack, these feelings. But today I'm going to actually just bring out the ugly truth that my belief systems from growing up, and who knows, it could be past lives whacked in there as well, but my belief systems around money are not very healthy. And I don't know if we call it healthy or we just call it, they're not true. They're just conditioning that I saw repeatedly and repeatedly and repeatedly. And you learn those conditions. And so if I'm always looking for a bargain and like, go wait, like I'll go on, I'll go on. Okay, so we're just gonna run through some of the list. Like, like my conditioning was like there was never enough. There was just never enough. And you always had to find the deal. Like if you had some money, you couldn't spend it on the most expensive thing because what happens if it ran out? And you'd bought one expensive thing, you needed to buy the best deal or the cheapest thing so that you could stretch that money out in case of a future emergency where the money got ripped away. And so I feel like this links, and I think talking with you guys is going to help me process the link for this missing key for manifestation. When we've been Brought up like, if you have a healthy relationship with money, you can just start journaling and do some more on your emotions. Um, but I think a lot of us, and especially if you keep listening to me here, we were brought up like with stories around money that weren't positive. And I know in my essence that I am worthy. Yet I wrote so many words down about growing up, what money meant, and there weren't anything really like with a positive relationship with money. It was always like get the deal. Like we used to backpack in Bali because we could live off nothing over there, and and like we didn't go to Europe in our twenty. Well, actually I did go to Europe, but we stayed in hostels. We ate from the um like what's it called um supermarkets. Like I think actually one lunch we had was in the tube. In one of the like corridors of the tube in London, we bought like bread rolls and a hot chicken or something. We sat on the floor in the corridors of the tube station and ate the bread rolls and the chicken. So anyway, my point being is that you got to bring the list out. You got to write your list. Growing up money meant. So I want you to write that list. Please pause the video. And right now sit down and say and write out growing up, what did money mean to you when you were growing up? Did it cause fighting? Did it cause like stress? Did it cause like things to be said like we can't afford that? Or just an inherent knowledge that you couldn't afford that? And so not to ask. Like, what are your stories around money? Okay, so pause the video. And if this was a real course, I would actually play some nice thinking music, but it's not. So you can just pause it and then just press play again when you've written out your list. So now that you're back with your list about what money meant growing up for you, We wanna look at each individual, like, area that it makes you feel like you don't, like we don't have a positive relationship with money now. Like once you, like I was shocked by how many things I wrote, like how many programs were still in there about always finding the best deal. Like if I can get the same thing for a cheaper price, I'm gonna get the cheaper price. Like. I don't do Uber Eats because there's a 30% charge on top of the food, um, or whatever it is. They increase the charges of it. I'm that— for me, everything is a cost-benefit analysis. It's like, well, I can drive and get the exact same thing for less money. So with a bit of effort from me, I can actually get exactly the same thing. So I— and, and I know why people do Uber Eats. They're like, my time is not worth the sacrifice. To go and get the food. For them, the, the surcharge was worth it. But are you disadvantaging yourself by driving to get that food? Like, this is the programming, is like, is it a deserving thing? I don't deserve to invest the extra 30% to have the food delivered. So I can do something else, or maybe even sit on the couch. Lazy Susie could be just like, we're tired, get the food delivered, darl. And I'd be like— Frugal Susie was like, uh-uh, nope, nope, look here, see the spreadsheet? I've done all the calculations, and you know what, the money can run out, and we need to make sure that we have enough money for in the future. So it's like a fear-based future, um, projection. So we have to— Frugal Susie has to take the driving seat, and Lazy Susie's going, please, please, please, can we get it delivered, please? I'm tired. But you flog yourself to go and get that food to save those dollars. Again, I'm not like— I am dramatizing this a bit because I don't mean like be stupid with money and just don't take any notice of where anything goes. But what I'm trying to make the point is, is linking our worth and our time and our effort to our value and how much we value ourselves. So money is just energy. And she had us do this really good exercise, and I meant to have it out, but I don't. And it was a gold envelope and inside was a dollar bill. And so we pulled it all out. What is, does this dollar mean to you? Mm-hmm. And some people said some funny things like, is that all you think I'm worth? Which was very amusing. And then other people were like, it's a gift, um, it's an investment, um, like it's the start of something, it's a seed. But if you looked at all of your notes that you've just written, would you view that dollar as that? Like, she had us look at it. Like, you look, it's very thin, it's just made out of paper. And then she pulled out a $100 bill. And she's like, they look exactly the same. They're made out of exactly the same thing. Even in the US, they're the same color. At least in Australia, we do differentiate by color, but, um, they are pretty much exactly the same. But society has put this value on this piece of paper, and we have let the value of that piece of paper run our lives and run our subconscious programming around what money is to us and our worth. Like, if you have been frugal your whole life, how do you all of a sudden invest in things that are going to actually help you without feeling the guilt? So I suppose that's where we're at. It's What emotions does money bring up for you? Yeah, that's it. I didn't quite know how we were processing the money, the money story it is, and our worth and our value, but it's what emotions does money bring up for you. And especially on this move, for me it's been fear, so much fear of that future projection. Because when you're in a new country and everything's unstable and you've got so many things to set up, when you have a pool of money, you— like, I have been so frugal, it's not funny because of the fear it's going to run out. And like, I'm gonna be completely honest with you here, like, I was only buying meat that was on sale. I would never buy a piece of meat that wasn't on sale. I remember one day I had been doing some like manifestation course or something like that about centering and aligning. And after it, I was like, do you know what? I'm just going to go to the shop and buy exactly what I feel like eating. Doesn't have to be on sale, doesn't even have to be the cheapest thing. I'm gonna go and just like, what would I love to eat right now? And I'll tell you what it was. It was ginger chicken stir-fry. Because in actual fact, which is funny, and I wonder if I was at— now in hindsight, I wonder if I was like having flashbacks because that's what Anna and I used to eat at lunch in Australia. We would have ginger chicken stir-fry all the time. So now I'm just realizing, I think that I just wanted some comfort of those times when things were more certain and I had a support network around me. And so I went to Trader Joe's and I went and picked it all. I had So much fun picking out all of the things that I wanted, like wanted. I got the ginger and the chicken and beautiful vegetables, and it was all really fresh and lovely. Breathe. And when I went to pay, I had this wave of terror come over me, like full body wave. We can't just spend all this money on exactly what we want to eat. No, we've gotta save as much as we can. We can't, like, we have to buy something cheaper. We have to eat something cheaper. We cannot just spend all of this. And that was, I think, the very first time when I said, okay, fear, fear, fear Susie, I see you and I hear you and I know you're scared, but we're doing this anyway because heart Susie wants this. this. So Fear Susie had done all the calculations and, okay, we were going to spend 3 times as much on dinner that we normally did, and that means that that could be 2 dinners we might be starving for. We might have no food. Like, how are we going to live then if we have no food for 2 whole— like, 2 dinners if we've spent the value of 3 dinners on one meal? And she was like making a very good case, and I just had to say— I had to breathe. Like, I had to breathe through it. I was so petrified to pay for those groceries Because Fear Susie was making a very rational, very rational case. Frugal Susie was there too. Fear Susie, Frugal Susie. She was like, no, we can, we can eat for cheaper than this. Like, we can do it. And I had to like, it's okay. I had to tell myself, you are safe. You are safe. We can pay for these groceries. Like, right now, We have enough money for these groceries. Like right now, we actually have enough. Like we can pay for these groceries. And do you know what happened when I came back from that trip? And this is talking about energy and shifting and allowing. I had had my car for sale in Australia for— it could have even been a couple of months. With pretty much no interest. I came back from Trader Joe's after breathing through the fear, saying, no, we deserve to buy this beautiful dinner for us cuz that's what we really want. I love you, Frugal Susie. I love you, Fear Susie, but we're buying this. We're breathing through it like we're buying this. And I got— my dad sent me a message and someone had inquired about the car. And I think within a day, I, it was sold. So I just want you to think about that example and see how by me saying, hi, Fear Susie, hi, Frugal Susie, yes, I see you, but we are deserving of this beautiful meal and my heart wants it. I I was doing the Heart-Based Challenge at the time, the, um, the Living from Your Heart in a 3D World. And I was like, the heart said it wants ginger chicken stir fry and it costs 3 times more than what we usually spend, but we're having it anyway because I deserve it. And then I come home and in my deserving state, so excited to cook my ginger chicken and bang. In comes a car, like car negotiations, and 24 hours a car was sold. So I think that that's a really good example of the missing key to manifestation. Like that highlights it completely. I fear Susie and Frugal Susie were trying to protect me. They're like thinking down the track, what if we can't eat because we spent all our money on a beautiful dinner? They're thinking down there. And thank you, Fear Susie and Frugal Susie, for thinking about us and trying to give us a projected Excel spreadsheet of what's going to be in the future and what our dinner costs might be and where we're gonna need that money from. Thank you for doing that. But I was telling myself I deserved it. And if I'd kept running the program, Of Frugal Susie and Fear-Based Susie saying, no, you don't deserve that, we need to spend less, you only deserve to spend less. And then I said to them, thank you, I see you, but I'm investing this in myself. I want it. It was beautiful and fresh and delicious and all the colors of the vegetables, and it was just Like my heart sang. I invest and like, that's why I'm using this example cuz it's so small, that investment in yourself. But look at the results it produced because it opened up my energy. I saw fear and Frugal Susie, but instead of letting them run the show and telling, um, I don't even know which one. It's not really greedy. It's more like, I'll have what I'd like, Susie. I really want this, Susie. Like, it's not even selfish. It was like, I wanna invest in a nice meal for myself. She got to sit at the table instead of constantly digging in the bargain bin. She got told she was worthy and that she could have what she wanted. And so then the manifestation to sell the car, boom, in it came. I'm gonna tell you another little story about this too, cuz it's along the same premise. So I'm not sure if I've covered this in the, this challenge, but anyway, I'll give you just the cliff notes. We had an Airbnb cancel on us and all of a sudden I was pretty much homeless. There was one night where I nearly had to sleep in my car because the Airbnb had all the money and they didn't refund us for a week. and I was trying to get some other money moved around so that I could find somewhere to stay. Anyway, I eventually— it— I got some money moved around, but it was at the last second, and I found somewhere to stay. Like, in summer in Orange County, like, it's very difficult to find a rental that isn't $500 a night. And Frugal Susie was like, we can't spend $500 a night now because, like, that would be— in a week we've got like, like $3,500 gone. So we have to be smart because we— Anyway, I, so I found somewhere to stay. Anyway, I was at Trader Joe's and I was literally trying to buy the cheapest dinners I possibly could. Um, I think I'd managed to get their dumplings and mix that with some noodles from Ralphs, and I was literally making $2 dinners, $3 dinners. You can have 6 dumplings and a 50-cent packet of noodles. There you go, $3 dinner. Um, and There were these beautiful peonies in Trader Joe's, and I was just like, oh my God, you are so pretty. I, I just love you so much. You look gorgeous. And then, so I actually, I didn't know they were really tight, and I don't know, I don't know peonies very well. I know I love them, but I didn't know if they were gonna open up or if they'd stay as buds. And anyway, so I whole went through a whole thing with ChatGPT about whether these peonies I know I said that so weirdly. Peonies might, um, open up so they'd be the beautiful flower that I love. Anyway, as I was doing that, I walked past the roses section and there was this bunch of like ice pink roses that were just so stunning. Like, I love that really pale ice pink. And the peonies were scaring me a bit because I wasn't sure if they were going to open. I didn't want to be disappointed with my investment. Like, I was being so frugal with everything because I was trying to figure out the accommodation situation, but those pink roses were so gorgeous. And so— and I know roses— and so I bought them for myself along with my dumplings and my cheap noodles. I invested in— I think they were $10. They weren't even a lot. A $10 bunch of roses For no other reason than to make myself happy. And I loved those roses. And where I was staying, where I'd found a stay, was like, it was practically a boarding house. It was so bad. And no, the kids weren't there. Um, which was the only reason why I could do that. But I was in my room and I had my roses and I just kept thanking them for being so beautiful and And just, I felt the love from those roses. And the next day we, I found the cottage, like the cottage. And the reason why we got the cottage was because there was, there was an ad for it on Zillow and I had it in highlighted, but because I had, um, like nothing else, not nothing else to do, but I was desperate. So I was driving around to all the Places that were highlighted on my Zillow list, so I could look at them from the street. And on the Zillow application, he didn't have his phone number there, but on outside the house, there was a sign with his phone number. So I was able to ring him and talk to him about the house, whereas all the other people that had inquired on Zillow didn't have a phone number to ring. And I assume no one else drove past the house because I met with him the next day and he was like, "Yeah, you can have the house." Like it was meant to be in this cottage. That's why I pat its walls every day, like with the gratitude and the appreciation. Like, you just cannot even imagine how much joy this cottage brings me. When you have been through nearly sleeping in your car, then living in a boarding house, and then you get the most darling, beautiful cottage that you can— like, the— it is so much better than what I was looking at, all the other things I was looking at. Like, so much better. And I really believe that it came in because I bought those roses for myself. And I said, I am worthy of those beautiful roses. Even when Frugal Susie was like, well, how's roses gonna keep us fed or find, like, find us a house? And like, um, like, do you know what I mean? She's got the spreadsheet. She's like, $10, that's like nearly like 5 days of dinners. If you're on new, or if you're on dumpling rations, it might be 4 days of dinners and you wanna buy roses? Like, are you joking? But I was just so broken with the whole process. I was like, do you know what? I am buying these roses for me because I love them and I deserve them. And then bang, in comes the cottage. So I think those are 2 brilliant examples of what happens when you Look at these old patterns and like the money stories. Find who is running that money story. Is it Frugal Susie? Is it, is it, um, Sensible Susie? Like, who's running the show with these money stories that you've had for your whole life? Like, is it like, well, yeah, get a deal. That's Frugal Susie. And Frugal Susie is brilliant. And look, we wouldn't have done half the stuff in our lives that we've done. If Frugal Susie didn't exist, like I managed to take my kids on a four-week trip to Disneyland and skiing in Whistler and down to Hawaii because Frugal Susie ran the show. We were so frugal on that trip. In fact, it was just insane because four people in the U.S. on U.S. dollars and in a ski town, we got we didn't we didn't go out to dinner. We didn't. Buy lunch at restaurants. We would literally buy a large pizza and all share it out, or I'd make toasties with— I brought baking paper and would make toasties with the iron and the baking paper, or heat up the leftover pizza with the iron and the baking paper, or cook them a bagel with the baking paper. Ham and cheese bagel, like, with the iron in the bathroom, like literally toasting sandwiches. But it, it, it allowed us to go on that trip because we never would have been able to. So Frugal Susie does have her place, but also, but not in sacrifice of Deserving Susie. Frugal Susie is great a lot of the time, but sometimes you need to balance her out and you just can't sacrifice What you really want, because then it tells you that you are not deserving of what you want. So the second you show yourself you are deserving of the roses, of the beautiful chicken stir fry dinner, it can even be deserving of taking time out in the morning instead of going straight to your emails and sitting outside out the front and having your cup of coffee or going down to the beach for a swim. Like it can be deserving of time off, which is, I suppose, productive Susie versus lazy. Not, and she's not lazy Susie doing that. She's like investing in herself Susie. How much are you investing in others and not investing in yourself? Which goes to the whole story about Anna, me giving Anna fabulous advice and, and telling her to invest in herself when she's sick and look after herself and take care of herself. And I meant it wholeheartedly. But when it turns around back to us, we're like, oh no, well, I don't deserve that. I have to work. It's a Thursday. I can't be tired and lie on the couch. It's like, yeah, you can. Like, do what is committed, but any of your shoulds, do shoulds, shelve them for later or kick them outta bed. Check first if they even need to be there. Okay, so look at your money story and find which parts of you that you're not letting have a say. Is it your frugal side? Is it your sensible side? Like, is it your— I don't know, I can't actually tell you the answers because I don't know your lists. But for me, it's Frugal Susie, Sensible Susie, Um, like for me, everything's a cost-benefit analysis. There's no cost-benefit on buying beautiful roses for yourself. That is just an investment into making yourself feel happy. There's no return on that. Like in a physical sense, it brings you joy. And I think if I look at all of this, if I look at my list, I am costing myself joy and costing myself feeling deserving of what I actually want with nearly everything on my list. So like, for example, no, okay, I was gonna give you another example, but I'm not cuz I just saw it's 30 minutes and we need to, I need to go. But money, money, money, money. It's just energy. And now you can see which programs are running your stories about money and where we need some more balance in those areas. Okay, that was a long stare. I love you lots, and I'll see you tomorrow.