Day 14 - the Missing Key to Manifestation

Hello. Today I wanna talk to you about a topic that fills us all with dread. Fear. Fear, fear, fear. And I wanna start by using the acronym that my darling Maureen always taught me. Fear is false evidence appearing real. So false evidence appearing real. What does that mean? Now, as we've discussed, so many of our primitive responses are literally based on fear or safe. What is fear? Like, are we in danger? That's where fear originally comes from. Or are we safe? However, our bodies now translate things to be fearful of that actually don't mean we're going to be killed. And by that, what do I mean? Well, let's use my example from the money day where I was petrified to buy groceries at Trader Joe's for a chicken stir-fry. Petrified. Because fear— false evidence appearing real— Was coming in with Spreadsheet Susie and Frugal Susie and Sensible Susie saying, if you buy these groceries, basically you're probably going to end up with no more money left, so you can't buy groceries again and you're going to starve and die. Now, was that true at the time? No, I had enough money to pay for the groceries in that moment. But fear is a fickle hmm and likes to run away into the future. And yes, we do need like a healthy amount of fear in our life. Like, we need to be careful when we're driving on the 405 and, um, and make sure we're not going too fast because we wouldn't want to have a crash at 80 miles an hour. That fear is real. A real accident can occur. But Me paying for groceries at Trader Joe's for a chicken stir fry wasn't caviar, wasn't French champagne. It was a chicken stir fry. That fear is the one I'm talking about, and that's the one I really want to look at. So hello, welcome. I'm Susie from Susie Unshaped, and this is the missing key to manifestation day fourteen. I did a different format to introduce it today because. I realize people don't want to listen to me introducing it. I want to give you the juicy stuff of what we're going to talk about first, and then I'll tell you who I am. Anyway, let's see if it works. Um, but I had a conversation actually with my beautiful friend Anna today, who just— she's one of my proofreaders of my first book, which has been taken from the Living from Your Heart Challenge in a 3D World. And it was great, loved it, loved it, loved it. And then in chapter 14, which is the last chapter, she texts me and she goes, Oh my God, now I'm having an existential crisis. And she was like— Because I, I like, if I feel fear and if I feel doubt and all of these negative emotions, then my vibration's going to be bad and I'm going to be in a low vibration. I can't manifest from that fear-based vibration. And it actually was a really interesting conversation because it links into exactly what we're doing here in The Missing Key to Manifestation, which is we are inviting our fear and our anger and our doubt and the low vibe emotions. But calling them low vibe and just never being angry and never being doubtful, that goes like against our entire premise that everybody deserves a seat at the table. And all of them, all of the parts of you are worthy. So I think— and I was just joking with her, I was like, so yeah, I know, so if you're like love and joy, love and joy, love and joy, love and joy, love and joy, I'm really mad at this person. Um, so we were having a laugh about that, but I think When we can actually invite the anger and the fear and the doubt to the table and just say, I am so sorry that I made you— even like in the low vibe— that I made you feel like you're a low vibration and that if I feel you, I can't live at a high vibration and get what I want to manifest. But we are not saying don't be human. All of those emotions are you, and they are so important because they actually are giving you a gift. And that's the gift we need to look at. And fear and anger, like, what are you trying to tell me? Why am I so angry at this person? Why am I so afraid of buying groceries? Like chicken and vegetables. Why does that instill like complete terror in me? And then when we sit them at the table and I say, oh, thank you, fear. Trader Joe's fear Susie. I understand you're looking out for me because you, you're in the spreadsheet in like 2 weeks from now and you're like, well, but if we buy this now, we might not have enough in the future. And thank you for looking out for me. And I think if we can say I'm so sorry that I, that I had to just like let Susie gets what she feels like today Susie win that one. And I'm sorry that it made you feel like you weren't a part of us at the time. But you've been running the show for too long. And fear— anyway, so I'm going to finish the point about Anna first. What I said to her is, when we can invite them at the table and not see them as bad parts or low vibrational parts needing to be sticky taped over, when we can welcome them and integrate them, we're seeing them from like compassion, forgiveness, love, and gratitude, which are all high vibration. All of those are high vibrations. So your anger itself is not low vibration. It's a part of you. And when you can accept it in with compassion, forgiveness, gratitude, and love, you turn that anger into actually a gift for you. And I think our biggest point is becoming aware, like when you are really angry, We nearly need to like zoom out and see, like really ask, why am I so angry? And the even more potent question is, what have I done to abandon myself to cause this anger in me? Because people are just a reflection. They're just holding up a mirror for you to see the parts of you that you haven't integrated and haven't brought round to the table, that you're like pushing away and abandoning. So it's a fantastic way to see the parts of yourself that you haven't integrated. Anyway, this was supposed to be about fear and now I'm on anger, but it was about the low vibration. Like, we are still human, we are still still going to feel anger, we are still going to feel fear, we are still going to feel like anxiety. I feel all of those things every day, but what you do with it is what's important. We can't just love and joy, love and joy, love and joy, and that's what I was doing. And I spent— in actual fact, that's what started— back to fear— that's what started the 31-day challenge about living from your heart. Like, And now I will get into what I really want to talk about with fear, which is its future projections. Like, fear loves to live in the future. Like, take away the fears of like immediate present danger, like don't put your hand in a hot stove, don't, um, don't drive off a cliff, like all those sorts of things. Those are real fears that like— those are— that fear is healthy fear because it's keeping you safe. But when I first started, I was like in the US As I said, when you have a limited pool of resources and you don't know all the steps and you don't know how much they're gonna cost you, you don't know how it's, how long it's gonna last for. You don't know, like there's so many unknowns. Fear is present in every moment of every day. So I had to start a little practice, which was, okay, fear, I see you. And I, I understand that you're looking out for me, but right now in this present moment, I am safe. Right now in this present moment, I have enough resources. Right now in this present moment, like, I have a house, I have a car. Yes, I might not have one in 3 weeks, but right now I do. Because if I invite Fear Susie That's 3, that's already computing 3 weeks from now that, oh my God, we're not gonna have a car in 3 weeks. Like, what are we gonna do? If I bring her in and, and live the next 3 weeks in fear of what's going to happen in 3 weeks, that, that is gonna ruin my vibration. But if I can invite her to the table and say, yes, I know you're worried about what car we're gonna have in 3 weeks. But how about we also just meet a few other people at the table, like Trust Susie? Like, if you think about it, every time we bought a car in our lives, it's happened like that. We, we work fast. So Fear Susie and Trust Susie have a little conversation that we don't need to live in fear every day for the next 3 weeks. Like, we can get a little reminder and like maybe have a little look or just make a rough plan, but that we have options. And that's when the other parts of yourselves need to balance out the fear. It's like right now, today, we have a car. And I remember when I was nearly homeless that night, I was like, I have a car, its seats fold down, I have some fluffy jackets, like I could sleep in it if I had to. Like, I have a car. So on that day when I was literally petrified because I didn't know what was going on, I lit— I released it. I just released it. And I was like, yes, I know you're afraid. I know nothing is going right. And me and my sister Cass, we actually just went down to the sunset with a Whole Foods pizza. Best pizzas in the world, by the way. You've got to get them from the cooked, the cooked counter to get a whole one. Margherita. Just sat there with the sunset. We had nowhere to stay that night at the time. We then booked a motel for that night. The next day was actually when it really, the wheels really fell off. But we hadn't booked it yet though. We just sat there. We didn't know. And the problem was I was trying To make a decision from a place where I didn't have all the answers. I didn't have enough of the jigsaw puzzle to put the pieces together and make a plan. So sometimes you've just gotta— yeah, like, I love you, fear. You can sit at the table, but right now I'm just gonna sit and enjoy this pizza with my beautiful sister, and we're gonna watch the sunset, and I'm gonna trust. That I will figure something out. Like, I'm just letting it go. I wasn't letting it go forever, and I think we didn't even book that motel until about 9:30 that night because we were waiting around for my daughter to finish a party she was at, and then we were driving them to LAX the next day. So we thought we'll book a motel like halfway to LAX so it's not too much of a drive that night. Anyway, at the time we sat there with the pizza and we just— I just let fear go. Because it was like, the situation is not changing. I can sit here with fear when I don't have enough pieces of the puzzle to figure it out. So that, like, it's of no benefit to me to sit in fear if I actually can't sort it out yet. Like, what, what use would I be in panic mode? I wouldn't be in— I wouldn't be any use whatsoever. So we had the pizza and we watched the sunset, and then we just sort of casually— what we were trying to figure out is I had one daughter in Australia and one daughter in the US, and Cass and Nell were gonna fly home the next night, and Pam was going to meet them, cross them in the sky. I was going to drop them to the airport and pick her up, or around the other way, pick her up and then drop them. So it was like we had to make a decision, like, what was I going home to Australia with Cass and Nell, in which case Penn couldn't come. She couldn't fly over. So we had all of this stuff not being decided, and we— but we just sat and watched the sunset, and I just said, fear, you can come back in a couple of hours. Right now I'm just putting you at the table. Trust Susie and fear Susie. You can have a chat about how we usually figure things out. Um, and the clincher actually was I spoke to Penny because we're also waiting for her to be available to talk to us in different time zones. Spoke to her and said, "I might be coming home, and you're gonna have to fly. You're gonna have to stay for a bit." And her face just dropped, and it was just like, "What do you like?" She was just devastated. Like, she's like, "That's my. I've got stuff planned. I've got. That's my home. I'm coming. Like, I'm ready to come home to my home." And I was like, "Yeah, we don't really have much of a home right now." But anyway, but the look on her face was enough for me, and my heart went. We can, we can do better. We can do this. Like, we can do this. I have no idea how, but my heart like led me so strong. I was like, Cass, we're staying. I'm staying. And so we gave Penn the go-ahead to catch the flight and— oops, sorry. Oh, I just knocked my microphone down. Oops. Um, gave Penn the go-ahead, catch the flight. Anyway, I'm going on with the story too much. The point is that fear runs Future programming. And yes, all of its points are valid, but what is true right now? Like, it can bring me a spreadsheet and say, you don't have enough money for the chicken stir-fry because in 2 weeks' time we're gonna need that $10, $15, or whatever it comes— $20 to stretch into like 10 noodle and dumpling dinners. And I'm like, right now, that's false evidence appearing real. You do not know— sorry, Fear Susie— that in 2 weeks I— that is going to happen. You do not know that. You are predicting it with your spreadsheet and like worst-case scenario and feeding that to me now, but it is not the truth. So that's what I've had to do this whole trip, is like, it's a dance between Fear Susie going into the future and bringing back all these possible worst-case scenarios, and me like grounding and centering. And is that true for me right now? No. Right now I've got my chicken stir-fry, which is beautiful and delicious. Right now I have a car. 3 weeks, I might not have a car. Can I figure a car out? Yes. Do I need to know how yet? No, not when I don't have all the pieces of the puzzle. So I can start doing, and I have been doing bits of research and stuff about cars. My problem is that I need a car that my daughter can learn to drive in. This is a true story. I do need a car in 3 weeks. Um, anyone wants to give me a car? I'm just joking. Um, but I am just trusting I will figure it out, but I am not letting A car derail me completely right now in the present? I am like getting Fear Susie and Trust Susie to have a little conversation and balance it out. Like, all the other times I've gotten a car, it— I, I can do it like that. Worst case, I get another rental and Nell can't, can't drive for a bit. Like, worst, there's like Worst case scenario, I'll figure something out. Trust Susie always does. Trust and fear, bedfellows. But it is like fear's always bringing all the evidence from the future in. Oh, but this could happen, but this could happen. Oh, this could happen, this could happen. And yeah, it is trying to keep me safe, but staying in it As opposed to just acknowledging, yes, fear, I understand you're trying to keep me safe, and I love you so much for trying to keep me safe. Like, I really love you, but I'm sorry, you're gonna have to sit this one out. Well, not sit this one out. You keep reminding me, like, tap in, tap out. But you— I'm sorry, you don't get to run the show because I'm getting all the pieces of me to run the show. And there's also Positive Susie and Hope Susie and Trust Susie and All of those parts of me as well that I can lean on, that I know can help make this situation flow. So that's, that's like, where is fear? False evidence appearing real. Like Anna and the cappuccinos and not going to swimming. She was afraid she's gonna just stay in bed. Oh, I'm just gonna stay in bed forever and drink cappuccinos in bed all morning, and then I'm going to get fat and die. No one will like me, get kicked out of the tribe, and die. The fear. Like false evidence appearing real. Even if Anna drank 50 cappuccinos in bed every morning, once her body had healed, which was why she was needing to rest in the first place, she would be rejuvenated and have so much energy, and she'd be out doing stuff anyway because she'd given herself the chance to rest. So false evidence appearing real. There was a very unlikely chance that Anna is going to just bed rot drinking cappuccinos for the rest of her life. And and become unattractive and be kicked out of the tribe and die. Like the chances of that are super slim, yet that what that's what was occupying her mind. False evidence appearing real. It's like you can drink five cappuccinos every morning if you want to. The thing is you wouldn't drink five cappuccinos because it'll make you sick. Like you wouldn't you physically wouldn't want to. What so while I feel like they're luxurious. Too much of anything is not good for you, baby. Whatever that song is. Anyway, that was terrible singing. But fear. So fear around money. Do you have enough right now? Yes. Right now to pay for that, I have enough money. Is fear letting you, like, dragging you 3 months down the track? Oh, but I don't know about this. Oh, I don't know about this. I don't know about this. Like, And I'm not saying that we do not plan and be financially, like, responsible. I'm just saying, is what you are being told right now the, like, the full truth? Or is fear projecting things onto you right now that potentially won't even happen? So I thought fear was actually gonna go for longer. Hmm, just breathe. Okay, let's do a work— let's do an exercise then. Again, because I don't— this isn't a proper course, I want you to get out your notepads and write down what are you afraid of right now. Like, what are you really afraid of? One of my big ones used to be afraid of being seen. Like, I didn't want to be seen. That's because I kept myself so small when I was like all growing up because I didn't want to draw attention to myself because I was so shy. And it's like I didn't want to rock the boat. I didn't want to like be teased or tormented. So I kept myself very small, fear of being seen. And it was actually in 2020 when I was working on Scanties and I was like, I know I need to speak on video. Like I know I need to do it. That is like to be a brand, like a founder of a brand with a personal story for the brand. I need to tell it to people. I need to explain why I've done what I've done and created this product and what is the point of it. So I got onto Kind. I did a video challenge every day in July. I made it a Kind July theme. Anyway, I was terrible. I know. I think I only spoke for three minutes. Maybe each day, and I had friends telling me they were like, "Oh my God, I can't watch you. It's so cringy." And I was like, "Yeah, that's fine because you're not going to pay for me to live for the rest of my life. So I need to do what's cringy to get my brand message out there to make my business a success." And so your cringing actually doesn't offset me continuing continuing to do this. Like So I don't know why I'm talking about that. I'm asking you to write down your fears. Oh, that's right, pause the video, write down what you're afraid of. Like, what could be false evidence appearing real? Are you drinking too many cappuccinos in the morning? You're afraid, like Anna, that you're going to be kicked out of the herd and tribe and then you're gonna die? Are you afraid of never finding love? Are you afraid that the money's running out? Are you afraid that, like, what are you afraid of? So pause the video now and write down, like, the ugly fears, like the ones you don't even tell anyone. Get them out. Let's write them down. Okay, pause now and then we'll come back in a sec. Okay, big breath in, big breath out, big breath in and big breath out. Okay, so you've got your list of fears now. Which of the fears might fall into the category of false evidence appearing real? Which of the fears might be a story or an outdated belief system or a programming? Remember we did our money thing yesterday? It's my money list. Growing up, money meant— like, the fears linked just to the money list. Fear if I don't get a good deal, the money will run out and I won't have money for later. Like, fear Fear to pay full price for something. Like, what fears do you just have around money? What fears do you have around, like, how you show up in society? Like, are you afraid to speak up? Are you afraid to— like, and that's again a false evidence appearing real. If you're afraid to say what you want or you're afraid to speak up, The false evidence appearing real is because you're forward projecting how what you say is going to be judged, and then you get kicked out of the tribe and you die. But by not speaking up and letting the fear run the conversation, like say, I love you, fear. Thank you, fear, for literally having my back all this time. But if I don't say what I truly want to say, I'm abandoning myself. And well, as we've learned, that will come out in a disastrous way on autopilot without you being conscious of it. So practice speaking up for yourself. Like, what other areas are your fears? Actually, I would love to hear in the comments what areas you— that you feel this fear. And maybe if we look at it Is it false evidence appearing real? And about the speaking up part, I was— there's a great— I don't even know who the quote's by, but a friend told me it. She was speaking on stage. It was before I got confident to speak on stage. And I said, how do you get up there all the time? And she said, I have 2 mantras. The first one is something— other people's opinion— no, other, other people's opinions of me are none of my business. That was her first one. And then her second one was something along, along the lines of, I am a good and kind person. That was it. 2 things. And those are both true for me, for you, for her, for everyone. Other people's opinions of you are none of your business because what their opinion of you is, they're lumping in all their baggage and their fears and their judgments and all these, like, other filters and belief systems and programmings, which has nothing to do with you. Absolutely not one bit. So their opinion of you should be none of your business because they're not seeing you through a— like, they're seeing you through their lens of all the belief and crap and stuff that they've had layered on them over all the time. That's what lens they're seeing you through, and you are a good and kind person. That's a fact. You are a miracle. You are made from divine source creation. You're made from pure love. Of course you're a good and kind person. That's truth. So anything you say, fear might be like, oh, they're gonna judge us, or judgy, whoever it is. Fear is like, well, they're gonna judge us and hate us. What's that? Is that the, um, is it— who wrote Let Them? Can't remember who it was. Glennon Doyle? Let them. Let them judge you. Their opinion of you is absolutely none of your business, nor a record or recollection of actually who you are as a person. Okay. Anyway, I would love to know what other fears— I'm trying to think what other fears there might be. Being seen, speaking up. Fear of money, fear of how you look. Like, and I've struggled with body image my entire life. That sort of was part of why Scanties was born. And even every time I waddle down to the water at the beach, I'll be like, oh, my thighs. Like, I have to literally waddle because I have thighs, which is why I made Scanties. But I'm like, do you know what? The joy for me of getting in that water is so much higher than what anyone else might be thinking about my thighs. Like, I would rather go in the water. If I didn't have these thighs, I never would have started scanties. I wouldn't have dug into all of this and started Susie Unshaped, and I wouldn't be talking to you about fear. So thank you, thighs. Thank you, because you were the instigator for this whole beautiful World I've created. So what parts of yourself that maybe need to be thanked? I'm sorry, thighs, that I get embarrassed by you. I'm so sorry, thighs. Like, you let me walk to the water. You let me create scanties. You inspired me to create scanties. And then by me creating scanties, I'm now giving other people permission who have thighs like mine to feel good in their body and feel amazing. Okay, I have digressed enough. I love you lots, and I will see you tomorrow. Bye!