Day 12 - The Missing Key to Manifestation

Hi, welcome to day 12 of The Missing Key to Manifestation. I'm Susie, and this is Susie Unshaped, where we are unshaping all those belief systems that are keeping you from living your most joyous, fulfilling, and purpose-led life. So take a breath. The missing key. I had the inspiration. Is actually a 4-step process. This is a recap. If you've been here from days 1 to 11, you know this, but I feel like we are missing the putting together of the process. And that is the, I'm sorry, to yourself. Please forgive me, also to yourself. And thank you. to yourself and I love you to yourself. Like, I think modern-day manifestation is really big on the gratitude and the I love you and the affirmations, but we have not given the parts of ourselves that we deem bad a seat at the table. So that's what we've, we've been talking about. It's how to give all the parts of you a seat at the round table because no one part is better. And we need all parts to feel in balance. And when we feel in balance, that's when we can, that's when our life, like our, the lives we wanna manifest will appear. Um, because we don't have any of those blocks. Like I've spoken a lot about shoving all of those parts of us in the closet back there, um, that we are neglecting and that we have told on numerous occasions. Mm-hmm. No, you're not deserving. You're not worthy of a seat at the table. No, you're, you're, you greedy Susie, selfish Susie, lazy Susie, bone tired, can't do it, lift a finger Susie. All of those ones we shove and hide them away. And I truly believe that if we don't integrate those parts of ourselves, that's what keeps us from being deserving of our manifestations. And what we truly desire. So I've talked about it in a very round around, round around, roundabout way about how do we like find these disowned parts of ourselves and actually invite them to sit at the table and give them a voice after years of literally shoving them away because we have been taught. Like, this isn't— you didn't wake up one day and say, oh, greedy Susie is bad. Like, look at toddlers. I bang on about toddlers a lot in this, but they haven't been taught yet that no, you can't have that because you've got to share, or no, you can't have that because like it's too close to dinner, or whatever it is. They will throw a right-out tantrum. It's like, no, I want that. And then over time, we have been conditioned That that behavior is not rewarded, and the the behavior that is rewarded is like the good person, the sharing person, the like all of the like. So we're out of balance because, and I'm not saying that we need to be fifty-fifty greedy and not greedy. What's that? I don't even know. Greedy and gen. I don't know. Greedy and not greedy. Greedience. Skin? I don't know. Anyway, it's irrelevant, um, because we aren't even letting a little bit of them show up, and we need a little bit of them to show up. As I said, it doesn't have to be a 50/50 split, like the table is not weighted equally, but it's what is true to you at the time when you're experiencing that. And so if time after time after time when you're getting little voices over here saying Oh, we don't really wanna do that. Or, oh, we actually do really want that. And you are saying, no, no, we don't. I am polite Susie. I am like selfless Susie. I am people pleaser Susie. You don't get a say because if we let you out, that will make us look bad. And if we look bad, well, nobody will like us and then we'll get kicked out of the tribe. And then without the tribe, we're going to starve and freeze and die. So these, like, this protection mechanism is like as ancient as our DNA is, because you couldn't survive back in caveman times without having the acceptance of the tribe. So belonging and being accepted was actually crucial to your survival. So like, There's to be no blame. Like, blame Susie is welcome at the table. We love blame Susie, but there's no— you like, she's welcome, but there is no reason to feel blame that this is where we've all ended up because it's literally like we've inherited it. So we've talked about inviting these parts of us to the table and then offering them the compassion from our hearts. And forgiveness from our hearts. And like, I'm so sorry that I didn't think you were worthy, whichever part of you it is. Um, please forgive me for not knowing any better. Like, we didn't know any better. Please forgive me for not knowing that you— that that part of me isn't bad, and that by allowing you to come out, Like, I am not a bad person. So this is the conditioning we've got to unshape. Basically, this is what I call emotional shapewear. Um, and then we have to say thank you for standing up for us. Like, thank you so much for having our best interests at heart, and I love you so much, even if you have been like, even if I've been taught that you're a bad part of me, I love you so much. And there are no bad parts of me, and there's no bad parts of you. And so now the trick is the 3D part, which, if you haven't done my Living from Your Heart Challenge, um, in the 3D World, please do it. It's free, it's on YouTube, it's linked in the description. Um, because It will run through all the reasons why there are no bad parts of you. But that doesn't make it any easier in the 3D world to catch it and to catch when we are abandoning ourselves. So self-abandonment. And actually, I just, I was, when I was driving, I was thinking I need to bring up the V word, vulnerability. Like it is, it's the catchphrase, the Current spiritual buzzword. We need to be vulnerable with people. And what is vulnerability? Vulnerability— and my beautiful Maureen, who I love so much, um, defines it as like into me see, like intimacy. You have a fear of intimacy, which is into me see, like you can see inside of me. And being vulnerable is like being a cat when they lie back and let this, like, open their stomachs up to you. That's a cat being vulnerable to you because they trust you. But like, I ask a question now, like, how many people do you trust to be completely vulnerable and let them see into you? Like without any, what would we call it? Like filters, filters. Thinking of the good old Instagram filter. Without any filters, like this is who I am. Here I am. This is my, like, like this is me. Do you know how hard that is to do? Well, from my experience, it's absolutely terrifying and. I have been a chameleon for so long and worn so many different masks depending on who I was with. Like, I can change like that. I can adapt and fit into any setting, like, literally like that, because I have practiced it for so long that I'm no cat with my— I am not a cat with my belly open. And it's interesting because sometimes, like, I'm not completely closed off. Absolutely not. You can tell. Look at me sharing all of this on, on camera. But there is times where And I definitely will perform for the people that I'm around. And so it's practicing little by little. Like, I'm not, I'm not saying that, um, like, when you've been as conditioned as I have, like, we can't just turn around and become a different person. But it's starting to do it in little ways. And I think not abandoning yourself. Is the best place to start. And we've been talking about like leaking energy and how to notice where your energy is leaking. And that is a good, like, it's a pretty good indicator of where you might be abandoning yourself. For example, like when I was really tired the other day, I was like, I was just exhausted. I had been doing a lot of stuff and I think even I put pressure on myself. It was like, no, like it's a Thursday. You don't just get to like do the bare minimum because like it's because you're tired. It's a Thursday. Like we work on Thursdays. We don't have a day off. But yet if I had, and I wasn't sick, but I was exhausted. And so like, where do we draw the line at listening to ourselves? And I know I have a beautiful friend Anna who runs Ramp, the best like AI marketing platform that you can possibly have. But she's so clever, but she's the same as me. I think that's why we get along so well because we just like go, go, go, go. And our brains both work at a million miles an hour. And in actual fact, if you sat in on one of our lunch hangouts, 'cause we used to work in the same office, so we used to always have lunch together and the way our brains would bounce around, you think digressions in these filmings? Well, our digressions, but because our brains work the same, we're like, we're jumping all over here and I'm like, we're like, each other catches each other, um, and we know exactly what they're talking about even though we've missed about 14 linking sentences between each statement. Um, but my point is— sorry, there we go, little digression there— but if she had come to me and said, oh my God, I'm just so tired, I cannot do another thing, my first reaction to her would be, oh my God, clear the decks, go home. If you have enough energy, take your laptop to bed. If you don't, Just have a rest. Like, you can't, I know, fill from an empty cup. There we go. I'm full of clichés today, but you can't fill from an empty cup. And I can't take my own advice because it's okay for her, but it's not okay for me. So these are the situations I would like you to start noticing. Like, where do you not take your own advice? If you had a friend come to you and say exactly how you're feeling right now, and you gave them advice, how come you can't take your own advice? Hmm. That one's a really good one. What advice do you give out that you do not follow yourself? And that's a value thing. That's self-abandonment because you have a dear friend and you're like, oh my God, da da da da da. But then we're not turning it inwards. So they're worthy of the advice, but you are not worthy of the advice. So that's just start noticing. Just start noticing. Because what we're trying to do is find these parts. Like, what are these vulnerable parts of ourselves that we are too afraid to show for fear of literally being kicked out of the herd, like the tribe? Like, and then you die pretty much. So like the stakes used to be high, but out, like they're not anymore. Like many, many, many people can be single independent living people. They don't need a tribe anymore to survive. Like you can, like you can do it yourself. But our, and I don't actually know the psychology behind this, but there's the Flight, flight, fright, freeze. Uh, flight, fright, I can't even say it. Okay, not supposed to be using that if I can't even say it. But like, these are like, I'm not sure what part of the brain they're in, like an actual section of the brain, and they have been wired in there literally, I think, since the eons of time when man first became man. These primitive responses and So now it can literally look like, oh my gosh, like I am so afraid to speak up for what I want in this situation because I'm afraid I'm going to be kicked out of the tribe and then I'll die. So I'm going to— and I don't even know which one it is, obviously we're not supposed to use that, um, example— but I'm just going to zip it, push it down there. Tell that little part of me, actually, today, no, you don't get to have a say because we're too scared that we're going to get kicked out and then we're going to die, is essentially the progression of what's happening underneath it all, like the subconscious programming. So we need to retrain our nervous systems, basically, that it is safe to actually speak up for these characters in ourselves. And that they are loved and worthy and that their opinion is actually a gift to us. It's not trying to get us kicked out of the tribe, but we have just been so conditioned to stop listening to it. So that's— Breathe. That's what we are noticing, because when we notice these parts of ourselves, We can invite them in. And, and I think like, especially for a chronic people pleaser like me that is used to wearing so many masks, like I can switch like that. I can switch like that. I can switch like that. Which I think, I think it's always really nice. Like I have a really close relationship with my sisters and we all get along really well. And I'd say probably they would be the people that I Don't switch the masks for. I am just me. And actually my children too. My children get all of me, the good, the bad, and the ugly. Um, and you know what? They don't judge me for it. They still love me and they get all of me. So it's, it's practicing a little bit more of that. When you are with people that you deem or your nervous system deems as less safe because your nervous system is the primitive response that we're like, oh, scary, gonna die. And it's like, oh, it's not actually scary. We've just gotta peel back that. Like, like, and I think that's where breath does come into it. It's like, oh, this is scary. Can't say what I actually want. Mm-hmm. Breathe, we are not going to die. Breathe. Yes, you can choose where we go for dinner. Do you know what I mean? Like, these aren't life or death situations, yet our— we've been programmed to stay safe. And a lot of us— and if you're not a people pleaser, you probably definitely clicked off by now because this is really aimed at my people pleasers that don't actually voice What they really want, what they truly want. And like 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 times, 6 times, 7 times, 8 times, 9 times, probably doesn't matter. And by the 10th time, you have got like— I don't know which character, one of them— Angry Susie. She is just like, my gosh, guys, seriously, it is our turn. Will you stop shoving me in that closet and let us have a say. Thank you, please, and we love you. And we go, well, we don't, but because we then get angry and we probably blame it on someone else because it's really great to project how we're actually feeling about ourselves onto other people. But now that we know the process, what we can actually do is get Angry Susie up at the table and sit her up there with the other versions of you that have been running the show And we all have a conversation and we get— both sides are trying to keep us safe. Angry Susie doesn't have the primitive programming that like People Pleaser Susie has been tethered to. So that's why she's like, we are not feeling whole. We are feeling out of alignment. This doesn't feel good anymore. I'm going to throw a tantrum and I'm going to let your 2-year-old toddler come out and— You need to just ask for what you want. Okay, this explanation is now just waffling, but I think you understand what I mean. And then we can see, okay, Angry Susie's been neglected. I am so sorry, Angry Susie. Like, I am so sorry that we didn't listen to you and we let all the other characters trying to be good Take over. And please forgive me for not knowing that this conditioning that I've been brought up with, that not knowing that Angry Susie was actually beautiful and a part of me and lovable and was actually a gift to me to stand up for what we truly want. Thank you so much, Angry Susie, for standing up for what we want and for not backing down and just Withering in the closet and actually getting fired up and coming to visit us to show us where we are out of alignment. And I love you so much, Angry Susie, and I love you, the other Productive Susie, People Pleaser Susie. I love all of you. You were just trying to do what you knew to keep me— like, to keep us all safe, to keep us as a collective, all the parts of us safe. And so breathe. That is the missing key to manifestation. And it's not manifestation. I use that as, because I think it's a really good descriptor of how can I manifest something if I don't feel deserving in parts of myself? So I thought it was a great link because when you manifest something, you have to be the vibration of what you're manifesting for it to come in. That's how it works. You tune the radio station. This is what I want. You've got to get to that radio station. But while you're disowning parts of yourself, you can't get to that radio station. Like, your frequency Like, it, it, it knows that Angry Susie and Jealous Susie and Greedy Susie are shoved in the closet. So you can't get to that because you've got parts of you you've told were not deserving. And literally, like, Greedy Susie, Selfish Susie, you've probably said, like, in your mind, no, you don't get to ask for what you want. We have to conform. We have to be easy. Like, we have literally said to ourselves, You don't get to have what you want. You don't deserve that. And that is the missing key. They're the parts of ourselves we've gotta find and love back and forgive and feel compassion for and gratitude for what they were trying to do for us. And when we do that, that's when we can feel whole, and that's when we can be at the frequency of whatever we are wanting to manifest. And it's really interesting because manifestation is actually like manifesting the energies. You know, they say don't manifest a thing, like a specific thing, because then you're putting a really tiny, minute, like, like opportunity for something else to come in that might actually suit you way better, but just that you don't know it. You'd have never— like, say it's a car. And you want a certain car, say a Porsche Cayenne. You want that Porsche. That's the one. That's your car. This is actually— this was my example. I wanted the Porsche Cayenne. It was on my vision board. I loved it. It was my car. And so I've always been like, Porsche, Porsche, Porsche. And then it's really funny because I was driving, um, to get— I was swapping over when we first got to the US. I got a, like, a rental car through, like, a group, like an Aussies group I was in. And it was a POS. Oh my God, it was so bad. It couldn't even get up the hills. I thought the whole thing— I thought the whole engine was going to drop out of it. Anyway, I am dropping it back to that person after battling for 3 weeks with it and going to get this other car of Churro. And I just— I'd found quite a good deal or whatever. And anyway, I was like driving down the highway and I was thinking, okay, this is the last time you're driving this piece of, uh, um— and, and then I saw a Porsche camper. I said, you'll get your Porsche soon. The Porsche is coming. The Porsche's coming. And then I get a message saying, uh, your car that you've booked through Turo hasn't been returned yet. And I was like, are you joking? Like, I was driving an hour and a half to drop off that car, then go and get this car, and then drive back. And I was like, you are joking. And then I see like dot dot dot dot dot, and it's like, but we've actually got a Porsche Cayenne that you can have instead. And I was like, oh my God. Literally, I just said I will have one soon and then bang, in my inbox is a Porsche Cayenne. Anyway, long story short, I hated that car. Like, I am quite surprised that I was gonna— that I hated it that much, but I really disliked that car. The windows were really low. They were really tinted too, which made it really hard to see out of. I nearly crashed into a semi-trailer literally driving it back. I couldn't see. I went to look in my blind spot, it was completely black. But it like, it was just like the little engine that thought it could, and it just would rev and rev and rev, and like, it just like, it was going, it was just way too powerful for a little country town that I live in. I was like, this is not enjoyable. I want more like rancho relaxo. So there we go. I thought my manifestation literally landed in my lap, and I'm really glad now that I know that I do not like that car. So very interesting point. And that was waffle, and I will finish up now. But the point is, like, instead of manifesting a specific car, and let— like, unless you know you really, really, really love one, you manifest like a beautiful car that drives you and is smooth and it's like suits your driving style and is really comfortable and has all the features you want. But don't manifest the specific car Because then you close your options. Like, I just showed you an example where I got that exact car, but it's like you manifest— don't manifest money. You manifest like the freedom that money can give you. You manifest the like exhilaration of being able to be generous with your family. And then you can actually, then you can actually sit in the now of being generous with your family. Of having freedom. It might not be in the same way the money will give you, but you can still feel the emotion around it. And if anything comes up for you, like the I'm not deserving parts, then we look at which parts need our compassion and forgiveness so that we can feel deserving. Okay, I'm gonna leave it at that, but just start noticing. Noticing, actually write down your manifestation list, but I want, you can do specific things if you want, or rough things, but I want you to also manifest, um, like emotions. So what will that experience, what emotion does that bring you? If you had the experience you wanna manifest, what is the emotion that is associated with it? And just brainstorm all those emotions. And then where have I got them in my life now? Where have I already got those emotions? Because the brain, like our, whatever the system is that's registering this, our subconscious, I think, doesn't know if we're like imagining it or if it's real. So it can, it will still be the same emotion. So freedom or generosity, like generosity is doing something for someone. It doesn't have to mean giving them money. You can be generous with someone, generous of your time, generous of like help or effort in something. Um, so write down your manifestations and then find out what the underlying core emotion for that is. And then look at the deserving. Am I deserving of that emotion right now? And then we see, well, uh, am I deserving of that emotion right now? What are— so we've written down, we've written lots of lists. So where are those lists? Like, what about Angry Susie? Is she deserving of that? What about Lazy Susie? Is she deserving of that emotion? Like, we're starting to link these abandoned traits of ours to the emotions we're trying to manifest. And see if there's any, like, discrepancies or any, um, blocks, we would say, wouldn't we? And then by combining them all together, voilà. Okay, I love you lots. I'll see you tomorrow. Um, bye-bye. Bye-bye.