5 Soul-Care Tips Every Military Wife Needs During PCS Season | Tami's Tip Tuesday

Welcome to Tami's Tip Tuesday, where real life meets real tips. I am Tami, a child of God, plus I'm a licensed cosmetologist, military wife, a homeschooling mom, a dementia caregiver, type 1 diabetic who has PCOS'd more times than I can count, both CONUS and overseas. I've walked through deployments, infertility, brain healing, raising our miracle baby at 40 years of age. Yes, I had a baby at 40 with type 1 diabetes. Don't really recommend it, but so glad I got to be a mom. Each week I will drop practical, faith-filled, funny, real-life-tested advice to help women thrive through hair care and beauty tips, homeschooling and parenting tips, military life and PCS survival, health, healing, and finding joy in the chaos. In today's Tami's Tip Tuesday, we will be talking about— Drum roll, please. 5 ways to nurture your own soul during a PCS. Quite a few of you might be in the middle of a PCS right now. We're getting into PCS season. There is a season to it, but I've heard of people PCSing at all sorts of times of the year, so there are people that PCS when it's not in season. So if you're running on caffeine, mm-hmm, to-do lists, and 17 open browsers— browser tabs in your brain, friend, it's time to take care of you. That would be the definition of overwhelm. You're not being selfish, you're being wise if you do these things because every mama's— Because when every mama's good, everyone's better. Do you fully understand that? See, this is something that I learned being a Type 1 diabetic. And I got a weird hair sticking up here, so I'm just gonna pin that down in my little messy bun. There we go. I learned early on— I— okay, so I remember when I first found out I was pregnant, we were actually PCSing from Tucson, Arizona to California. And we were— my husband and I were driving from Arizona up to Chicago to see family. That's where his family is. And while I was there, I will never forget being in my sister-in-law's back garden and her next-door neighbor coming over and visiting with her. And at that point, you know, being a type 1 diabetic, I know I have to look after myself. I am useless if I don't look after myself. Do you understand? And you can do that. You can be useless too. Like, ugh. Anyways, I had said something along the lines of, when I have this baby, I will always make sure I look after myself first. And the neighbor lady started laughing. At that point, she didn't know I was diabetic, um, and I don't know if that ever really resonated with her. She, she was just like, "Oh, you can't do that. The kids got to come first all the time." And I'm like, uh, yeah, but if my blood sugar isn't stable, and I try to help my child, that could be a hot mess. I need to look after myself first. And she, she just kept arguing and arguing and arguing. And finally she just kind of— finally she dropped it because I wasn't going to drop it. I was like, no, this is what I have to do. You don't get it, honey. And, you know, I tried to explain to her about type 1 diabetes and low blood sugars, high blood sugars, like it's just, it's this roller coaster ride that sometimes takes over your life and you have to deal with it. It messes with your mental health and your actual health, like I've passed out before. I have apparently had seizures during these passing out sessions. I didn't even know that until I was filling out some online form and it asked that question and I started laughing and my husband's like, "What are you laughing at?" And I told him the question, he goes, "Uh, yeah, you have." I was like, "What?" Yeah, you've had seizures. I'm like, "Oh my gosh, I didn't know that." So anyways, moving on from that, you need to look after you, girlfriend. You need care, okay? You need to be healthy, you need to be stable in order to create the healthy, stable family that you want to have. These are key in life, all right? Something I've learned through my many years. Uh, bleh. Anyways, so my number 1 tip Number 1, start your day with God, your higher power, whatever you want to call him. To me, he's God. To me, he's Jesus. To me, he's the Holy Spirit. Start your day with God, not in the group chat, because the group chat, 9 times out of 10, whatever group chat it is, They're usually full of a bunch of negative nillys, and it will bring you down, and you have to defend yourself with God's power. Okay, so before you scroll or pack or panic, pause, sit down and breathe. I have some So I have this— oh, where is it? Got it up here. I keep it on my bulletin board because right now I'm caring for my mom who has dementia, and I need this a lot. This is called Anchor Breath. Okay, I use this when I start feeling really overwhelmed by it all, really like I just can't. I always call it, like, when I'm in that high anxiety, I call it sitting on the edge because I feel like I'm on the edge and I'm going to fall over any second. Anchor breath is huge for me, and I'd like to offer you— oops, stay— a copy of that if you'd like to help through this because it has helped me immensely. I actually also have it on my phone for if I'm out and about and I can just go through it and it just helps me recenter and calm. All right, doesn't take long. So that's number 1. Excuse me. I'm still in number 1. Start your day with God. Read 1 verse or whisper a prayer. Breathe in the truth that God is there. God is with you. Sometimes it doesn't feel like he's with us. Sometimes we feel like, if you've ever seen the poem "Footprints in the Sand," I have felt that quite a few times, especially— let's go back like, oh gosh, almost 30 years, I got a divorce. And through that divorce, because I had just come to Christ in that phase of my life, and through that time of divorce, I knew God was with me, but I didn't feel Him with me. Me. I knew he didn't abandon me, but I didn't feel that. And I read that Footprints poem almost every day for quite a while through that because I just felt alone. So I highly recommend that poem, guys. If you're going through any of this stuff, reference that poem. Thank you. So even 5 minutes can reset your soul more than 30 minutes of venting to Sharon or somebody from your neighborhood spouse page, you know, like, or doesn't matter. Take that 5 minutes for yourself and recenter. All right. So That's number 1, and I have a PDF that I will have a link to in the comments, wherever they are, or the description, or, you know, it'll be there, okay? So number 2: stay hydrated. I know I, I fell into this early on in my deployments. early on in my life because I didn't grow up understanding how important water was in our lives. I did not know our bodies were 80% water. It was just something that— whatever. And I want you to know, girl, unfortunately, coffee is not a food group. Oh. Oh! I love my coffee, I have to say. I've actually got my iced coffee right now. Mm-mm-mm. But it's not a food group, okay? And coffee doesn't hydrate you as much as water does. Even though coffee's made out of water, something about the caffeine in it doesn't get all that water where it needs to go properly. I don't know, I don't know the science behind that. Maybe I'll find it out someday and share that with you. I don't know. So always keep a water bottle with you, and I don't have mine here right now because I'm drinking my coffee. And stash protein bars in the car because I don't know about you, like Okay, so yes, I'm a type 1 diabetic. However, I have my best friend, my insulin pump, and my continuous glucose monitor. These keep my blood sugars much more level than I ever could. These are my modern miracle algorithm AI. Oh my gosh, love y'all. Okay. I never was able to get my blood sugars under control before going on an insulin pump. That's when I truly saw the magic of it for my diabetes. Now everybody's got— who has diabetes, theirs is different because it's dealing with a different body. God made us all different, and he did that on purpose, apparently. If we had to have been all the same, then maybe we'd all fall into the textbooks that they get in, in doctor school. But I don't fall in those textbooks. If they tell me go left, my body wants me to go right. It's just the nature of this body. And they told me, they used to always refer to me as a "brittle diabetic" when I was up in Canada. I hated that terminology. I hated being considered brittle because I grew up a tomboy and I still have that tomboy mentality of, "I'm tough," I'm, you know, that kind of stuff, and it just always irritated me, but nobody ever understood it enough to explain to me why because they didn't know. Now I know my need for insulin throughout the day fluctuates, so I've got a basal setting that goes with how my body works. And this new pump and the new CGM, it has in it an AI that helps it set my algorithm. And it will modify my need as the day goes on and keeps my blood sugar in a good range. I still have bad moments, but for the most part, I am super happy, okay? So— I'm sorry, I tend to go down this diabetes trail a lot because I live it. Right now my blood sugar is 135, which isn't horrible for a Type 1 diabetic, but if I go up here to my history and graph, and I like going down to time in range, push that button, I'm 100% time in range for the last 24 hours. My time in range is between— what do I set it— between 80 and 140, I think. So yeah, like, that to me is— oh, love it, love it, love it. So anyways, let's get back to what I'm talking about. Oh yeah, so Stash Protein Bars in the car. And maybe even pack a few actual vegetables or fruits. I will, you know, the easiest fruit to be portable in my opinion are apples. You don't need to peel them, you don't need to cut them up, you can just take an apple, throw it in your purse. I tend to try and stay away from a lot of carbohydrates, and of course apples have carbohydrates in them, but I'd rather have that to eat than to turn and have nothing. I also keep nuts in my purse. Always, always, always, even when your child is 20 years old and going off to college, that's where I am right now, keep snacks in your purse. Mm-hmm. Look after you. And of course, I have my, like, I— fruit snacks are my go-to for low blood sugars, so I've got them in my purse even though my blood sugar doesn't bottom out as much as it used to. So number 1, start your day with God, not the group chat. Chat, sorry. Number 2, hydrate and fuel like you love yourself. Okay, your body is doing hard things. Nourish it like it's on a mission because it is. Your husband's not the only one moving mission, you are too. Okay, now number 3, create a 10-minute rest ritual. You're like, what the heck is that? Okay, Here's my rest ritual. Okay. I will have— have you seen those? They make these like little steamer things you can throw in the shower. I love those. And if I'm having a stressed out crazy day from my mom's dementia or dealing with my son moving to college, that kind of stuff, I will have a hot shower with lavender. Oh my gosh, I love lavender. Love, love, love that scent. It's a calming, soothing essential oil. You can have, um, I have body wash, I have like some lotion. I tend not to use those in the morning though because they're more to help with the winding down at the end of the day. You can also do a 3-minute meditation in the car. So let's say your kids are in school and you have to go pick them up, or your kids are wherever and you have to go pick them up. While you're waiting, just sit and meditate. For me, I Personally, meditation means time with God. That's when I talk to God. I actually am a little bit, I don't know if I'm weird or what the deal is, but I talk to God all the time. Every day I drive, that's my time to talk to God. Whether I have, you know, my son might be beside me, my husband, my mom, whatever. I'm driving along and I'm like, oh God, Thank you for the fluffy clouds. Those are beautiful. Thank you for the trees. I'm always thanking him for whatever I'm seeing, even if it's gray skies, gloomy rain. Thank you for giving us water for the planet. This is awesome. You know, just stuff like that. So I like this one. So— If you're in the house and it's a little bit chaotic, your kids are a little bit older, so they don't need eyes on all the time, and you want to have a snack like a granola bar or an apple or something to eat, just go stand outside in the sunlight while you eat it. Just tell the kids, I'm just going to be outside if you need me. Go out, stand there and eat it by yourself. Hopefully, hopefully they don't disrupt you, but sometimes they will because they're kids, you know. It's like, it's like there's— don't you find there's like a radar they have? Ooh, Mom must be having a shower now. I'm gonna go bug her. Oh, Mom's on the toilet. I'm gonna go knock on the door. Oh, Mom's this. I'm good. Like, oh, Mom's on the phone. I'm gonna talk to her. Like, ugh. I don't miss those times, but maybe I do a little bit. I don't know. So find your thing. All right, whatever works for you. Try these things out. I'm going to have a list of other things in another printable I'm going to have with the anchor breath. Okay. Um, and maybe the anchor breath is your thing and claim it daily. with no guilt. It could be early morning, could be mid-afternoon, could be after the kids go to bed. Whenever you decide, take that time for you. All right. Now, number 4, say no to the extras. Yeah. Yes. Say yes to what matters, but no to the extras. So you do not have to bake cupcakes for something. You do not need to lead the co-op meeting. You don't need to host the final barbecue before you move. If your personal love language is acts of service, these things are going to be pulling at you and taunting you. Don't let them. Learn to say, "I cannot right now. Until I get to this point, I cannot add extras." I know it's hard. My love language is not acts of service right now. My love language has changed through the years. My love language is gifts right now. It used to be words of affirmation. It still is a little bit, but I've shifted to gifts for some reason. And my husband and my son did like the best thing ever. I told them I don't like— I I needed a new computer. Okay, my— I had 2 laptops. One's a Windows 10, and Windows 10 is like dying out, like not going to be supporting it soon. And the other one was a Windows 11, but there was no memory on that laptop that I could store things on. And I like to have things to store in my computer. So I had these 2 computers that kept crashing on me and doing weird stuff, and And I knew that my husband had helped James to build his computer. My husband built his computer and they ran into problems and it just took a lot longer than we thought. And finally they got them working and everything going hunky-dory. And basically they said, we're not building any more computers. That's like, oof. It's, there's too much room for oops. And then you have to take it in anyways. So my husband said, we'll buy you a computer. And I went to ChatGPT because ChatGPT is my buddy, and I told ChatGPT what I want a computer to be able to do for me, and it came back with specifications on what I need, which I had no idea about a lot of these things like graphics cards and memory and all this stuff. I was like, I don't know. So I gave that to my husband and he said, okay, um, well, we're still saving some money for that, but I'll let you know when. And I said, no, don't. I need a surprise. I never get surprises. I mean, I, you know, when it's Christmas, I basically buy everybody's gifts. I love doing it, but then I get— I don't get surprised, you know. So I told him and my son that I needed a surprise. So they, they tried. They really did. They kept it quiet. And I was— it was even to the point that I, you know, every day one of those computers would crash, and it was just Ugh. And my son said to me after I found out, he was kind of like, "Yeah, Dad had already ordered it when you were telling me that it's going to take a while for you to get that computer." I was like, "Oh man." So my husband comes to me and they had tried to deliver it last Saturday, but we were sleeping in, so we didn't get the delivery. And they sent him an email, and he was like, "Oh, crap." So he set it up to be delivered on Monday. And my son is 20, and they needed somebody 21 to sign for it. So he needed me to sign for it. Mm-hmm. And so he comes over and he's like, "Okay." This is on the Sunday. He's like, "Okay, there's going to be a delivery tomorrow and I need you to sign for it." And I'm like, "Oh, okay, you know, what are you getting, some medication?" He's like, "Nope." I said, "Well, what am I signing for?" And he looks at me and he really— oh gosh, he was trying so hard and he goes, It's a surprise. So I knew. In that moment, I knew. I was just like, oh! So this last Monday, I got my surprise, and it was— it's beautiful. I love it. Love it so much. It's fast. It's got memory. It's got everything I need. It is a desktop. I haven't had a desktop for almost a decade now. No, over a decade. But I've had laptops for, for most of our moves and stuff, and now I have a desktop, and oh man, I love it. So where was I? Okay, so I'm going to start from 1 and go through and do like a follow-up here. Not a follow-up, a review. That's it. Sorry. I tend to get distracted in case you didn't tell, can't tell. So that's why I keep notes in front of me so I kind of stay on my spot. Excuse me. So here are 5 ways to nurture your own soul during a PCS move. And after. You can continue. Number 1, start your day with God, not in the group chat. Number 2, hydrate and fuel like you're on a mission because you are. 3, create a 10-minute reset ritual. Number 4, say no to the extras. Okay. You do not have to bake cupcakes, lead the co-op meeting, or host the final barbecue before you move. Repeat after me. Not right now. Not right now. Not right now. Okay. Now number 5, let someone take care of you. Mm-hmm. Ask for help, accept the offer of meals, hire the sitter, have someone look after your kids while you do stuff, or let your husband take bedtime duty. The only time that that's not really possible is when he's deployed, and I understand that because I've been there. But he can do it without you giving him the play-to-play or play-by-play. You are not weak for needing support. You are wise, wise, wise, wise, okay? I know a lot of you don't live close to family, so calling on family to help sometimes isn't a thing, but if it is a thing for you, let them help, all right? Let other people spend time with your kids because they want to see your kids before you go too. Okay, don't forget that. It's not you being selfish, it's you being kind and letting other people spend time with your kids and with you. I— when we were in England, I had a girlfriend come over and she just helped me wrap and pack all of my Polish pottery because I, I love the Polish pottery I got over there, and we just sat and talked and our kids played together and we wrapped up pottery and put it in, in, like, it was just— normally I would have said no thank you, but at that point in my PCS journey, I was learning to say yes please. I do need help. So please take these 5 tips, use them as you can. I have two resources for you. One is the 5 tips in a PDF, and the other is the anchor breath and safety check-in for you. So I will have the link to those in the description and possibly in the chat. If you can't find them, come look for me on Facebook, Tami Grgas, T-A-M-I G-R-G-A-S. Please don't add any vowels. It's Grr, I have gas. Grrgas. And you can private message me over there. I'm fine with that. You can also come join my group over there. I will put a link to that in my description as well. So I hope to see you again soon. Until next Tuesday, have a wonderful, wonderful, wonderful time with your family and with your friends. Take care. Bye. Bye.