In this personal, conversational video, a homeschooling mother shares how everyday conversations with her son, James, became a more accurate and empowering way to assess his learning than traditional tests, especially given his ADHD and dyslexia. She recounts his struggles with standard exams, the pressure they create, and how he excelled when discussing topics like Latin declensions, math songs, and psychology in casual dialogue. By turning daily moments—breakfast, lunch, dinner—into learning opportunities, documenting them with recording apps, and leveraging AI tools for transcription and summarization, she built his confidence and identified small wins. She emphasizes the importance of positive reinforcement for neurodivergent learners, critiques the over‑reliance on formal testing, and invites viewers to join her Skool community, "The Homeschooler's Toolbox," for further support and resources.
Chapters
Did you know that your child teaching you— yes, I said you— might be the best test of their learning? Today I'm sharing how natural conversations revealed my son's brilliance in ways traditional tests never could. Traditional tests for people with ADHD can be very, um, confusing. It overloads their brain. It's too much. It's too much. I was horrible. I never passed a test. Never. I couldn't. I would study or do my best to study. I mean, I also had dyslexia, but I just— to sit down and write a test, a lot of it was guesswork on my part. I honestly don't know how I graduated high school, but I did. It was a miracle, really. So ADHD minds, we can freeze just from the pressure of a test, even if we know our information. And I've seen this happen with my son. He had to take his final exams and— or no, it was his midterms. And leading up to that, in his psychology class, he was teaching me about the things in my brain that weren't working right because of the, the trauma and the dyslexia. And we also talked about ADHD. Like, he was— he learned a lot, and he was really teaching me about it. So I knew he knew his stuff. He was taking this in. Mm-hmm. Thoroughly. Then he did the exam. He didn't pass. He, he didn't do horribly. I think he maybe got a C. I don't even know what percentage or anything, but— and believe me, I need to— I know I need to get more into his college records to help him through this, but I didn't know, okay? And for people with ADHD, um, one thing that James used to always complain about when we were in classical conversation is that all of his friends were going through the Memory Master and stepping up and doing all these things, and he just couldn't. It wouldn't stick for him, and I think a lot of it had to do with the pressure of it, because when he and I had conversations, he could surely talk about the stuff he was learning. He just couldn't memorize. Mm-hmm. Everything, you know, like to this day he's way better at math than I am because of the math songs we used to sing. He can go through it a lot faster, I cannot. Um, and then when he was taking Latin, uh, this was before— I can't remember, he might have been in Essentials at this time, which is kind of like middle school, but not really. It's a little bit confusing, but it's an addition to the, um, foundations is what they call it. So the foundations are for the younger kids, a lot of memorization, a lot of fun gamifying. And, you know, at least that's what I did when I was a tutor. I was known as the fun tutor. But I, I just know that I needed to make it fun for James, so I tried to make it fun for all the kids. Mm-hmm. And that was my one major complaint about school, that I hated it because it was not fun. It was hard. And then my brother, who— I don't know, he's 3 years younger than I am, he has a different father than I do, and he always got A's in school without even trying. It was very frustrating for me. Mm-hmm. To be like the C, D student, and I was trying. But then I found out later on that he kind of got hurt by that because he would always get in trouble for not getting his A's, and then I'd be getting applauded for getting a C. And that, you know, we've talked about it. But so when he was taking Latin, he always talked about the fact that his friends could talk in Latin and they could have conversations in Latin because they were trying to do it so nobody knew what they were talking about, you know, kind of like the— oh, I can't remember what we called that— Pig Latin. Pig Latin, yeah, I used to do Pig Latin with my friends because we thought it was funny and it wasn't hard to interpretate, but interpret— interpret? But, um, yeah, so when he was doing Latin and telling me how he felt like he doesn't understand Latin, he didn't get it, and the main reason my husband and I wanted him to do Latin is for him to understand how language works. It wasn't for him to be able to converse in Latin, but that's what he saw his friends doing, so he felt less than because of that. So I told him at that point, and, and this was the truth on my end, because I was like, James, I do not understand Latin. The part that really, really confuses me is declensions. Like, I don't understand what the heck's a declension. And so he put together like a little lesson plan for me It wasn't major because I didn't know if he knew he'd make that light bulb moment happen for me like it did, but he taught me about what declensions are and basically broke it down to what it equals in the English language so that I could understand. And once he did that, I was like, You're fine. You understand. Latin. You can parse a sentence of Latin. You're good. And that did give him more confidence, which is one thing in ADHD that is really— it's really hard for these ADHD people, including myself, to remain positive and to be confident. It's difficult. So we really have to— if you're helping someone through this ADHD thing, then you really need to be empowering to them, like picking out all their small wins and talking about it. Not like having a confetti party or anything, but just saying, "That's so awesome that you did that!" Do a quick high five and, you know, that kind of thing. And I think a lot of us homeschooling moms are like that with our kids, but there might be some out there that don't understand that that's what some of these, especially the ADHD kids, need, is they need that motivation to move forward. Um, so everyday conversations really became learning opportunities, and that is how I did try giving James some tests when he was younger, and he just couldn't do them. He, he was fidgety. He just, he wouldn't do them. And you know what? As his mother, I went, "Hmm, okay." I couldn't do them either, and I really don't believe that they're a true, um, metric of how my child is doing. That's how I feel about it. So I stopped giving him tests around— let me think, we were in upstate New York. Let me think. He was in first, second, third grade up there, about third grade. When we moved back to Nebraska here and found a Classical Conversations community here, I just said, that's it, no more tests, I'm done. Like, I had tried. I know he was a lot younger, and I did retry when he was in— we're back here— first, second, third— it was about fifth grade that I tried again. Same thing. So I said, okay, I'm done. And So doing this with someone, your child, doesn't matter if you're teaching your child or an adult, this method will help them to lock it into their heads. Okay, um, I knew he knew about a subject. I knew he knew about a subject. When we could have a conversation about it, and especially when I'd say something that maybe wasn't quite factual and he would correct me. And that's what I did. So my recommendation is to make it practical. Turn your daily activities into learning discussions. You can document these conversations for your records. The way I like to do it is I use this app— can't remember what it's called right now— but it will— it's like a meeting app, and when I'm having a conversation with my son, I would turn that on, and it wouldn't just record what we were saying, it would put it into print, and and then it would break it down into a summary for me, and that totally helped. And if you cannot do that and all you can do is record it, you can take that recording and you can put it into a ChatGPT that you have programmed to help you with ADHD, and you can ask it, can you break this down into a summary for me, or print it out, or, you know, that kind of stuff. So don't be afraid to use these AI things. They're a part of our lives now. And if you really want some help with it, I have an ADHD— this is more for business owners, but I think I will do an— I'll make an ADHD for homeschoolers too. So that's going to be my next project to make. Um, so If you follow along with this, this will build confidence in you and your child. Because when I started homeschooling, I did not think I was qualified. I did not think I knew enough. I, I had no confidence. Now that I'm done homeschooling, I have a lot of confidence because I know my child. Even though he's 20— well, he's going to be 21 the end of this month, January 30th. Wow. Anyways, even though he's going to be 21 shortly, he's still my child. He'll forever be my child, and I will forever help him, um, with my knowledge and my homeschooling skills. So the next time we're going to explore how finding your child's natural learning rhythm can transform your homeschool experience. But remember, some of your best teaching moments might just happen over breakfast. They really do. Or lunch or dinner. Those are some of the best times, talking around the table, and we've had a lot of lessons happen that way, a lot of aha moments by both parent and child. It's been pretty cool. So if, if you want to go further with me on all of this, please join my school group. It's S-K-O-O-L. Skool. My group is called The Homeschooler's Toolbox, and I would love to see you in there. The link will be in the description and in my profile. Bye! Bye!
