In this motivational video, Tami Grgas shares her personal struggles—her hair‑salon business hit by COVID, her mother in assisted living—and uses them as a backdrop to present five actionable strategies for strengthening self‑esteem. She begins by urging viewers to question negative thoughts, recognizing them as thoughts rather than facts, and to replace them with empowering statements. She then advises stopping reliance on external sources of strength, recommending daily self‑care rituals such as morning yoga and prayer to build internal resilience. The third step is to honor one’s personal history, recalling past achievements and values instead of measuring worth by external metrics like degrees or income. Fourth, she emphasizes seeking only one source of approval—one’s own inner voice or intuition—over external validation, sharing how trusting her motherly intuition saved her from regret. The final step is to stop wishing to be different, encouraging acceptance of one’s sensitivity and urging listeners to own their experiences and heal. Throughout, Tami intersperses personal anecdotes, offers a downloadable PDF of the five steps, and ends with an encouraging call to action for viewers to practice these habits and reach out for the handout.
Chapters
Hello, Tami Grgas here. How are you today? I hope you're doing well. I've been doing a lot of research about building yourself up, keeping that good internal dialogue, if you will, that kind of stuff. With everything that's going on today, it's hard. My business has suffered. I don't— some of you know, some of you don't know, I have a hair salon at the Sola Salon Suites, and it's— this week has been bad for me. Right now I'm just kind of trying to stay positive. If you will. I just got off the phone with my mom and she is in assisted living and she is locked down. It kind of bites, you know, but in my research, okay, so I found 5 ways that you can strengthen your self-esteem. So number 1, is you need to question your negative thoughts. Now, I find that a little bit difficult as I've been, you know, as I've gotten older and I'm, I'm becoming more aware of them. I'm starting to catch them a little more. But for the longest time I was like, what negative thoughts? What are you talking about? You know, that kind of thing. So we all have negative thoughts. That we allow to run amok in our minds. So often we blame others and the world around us for those negative thoughts, which is true. But the truth is we hold the power to change our inner dialogue no matter what life circumstances we find ourselves in. We do have the power. And I want you all to know that you have the power. Thank you. To change your internal thoughts. That's good, Jamie. You always need to question your stinking thinking. Yes, I like that. So to raise our self-esteem, we need to learn how to think in a way that better serves us. And we can do this by mindfully observing the negative thoughts that go through our mind and replacing them with more empowering thoughts. Like. Um, thoughts that can go through your mind, okay? I'm not good enough. I'm not smart enough. That one's gone through my mind a lot. I can't do it. I'll fail. Those are all negative thoughts. Like, I, um, you know, when I was younger, I used to look at those more as facts than thoughts. They are thoughts, people. They are not facts. So we can take actions that help— okay, so when we take actions that help support those thoughts, they become self-fulfilling. So that's kind of why, you know, I had those kind of thoughts and that's what was happening in my life. So I thought, well, that's a fact. It's, you know, eh, eh, mind. So if we stop ourselves, observe our thoughts and where they're coming from, and replace them with more empowering thoughts, we can create a different story for ourselves. So a big way to create that different story is to change your thought. To, "I deserve this because..." "I am more than qualified for this because..." "I can and will do this, and here's how." So that's the number 1. Number 2: Stop looking outside of yourself for strength. Now, Many of us, life can, for many of us, life can feel like too much sometimes. You ever had that, whoo, so much going on? I know I've had it. And so we turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms and try to ease our stress, anxiety, and overwhelm. Hmm, I might have done this. We look to find things like food, and alcohol to ease the chaos we feel internally. In the end, those things only exasperate the feelings we are hoping to avoid. Truth is, the more we rely on external stimulants to find strength, the weaker we feel. Ooh, that's harsh. That's harsh. So instead, create daily rituals that help you to feel like your best self. Yourself. Okay, so one that I'm trying to incorporate into my life right now is in the morning, instead of just waking up, getting out of bed, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, my morning routine is that I'm going to do yoga and pray. For me, I like to pray. That's my meditation. Is prayer. Meditation really, really, really helps a lot. And, um, I've been reading a lot about it. So I'm gonna take 10 to 20 minutes and just do yoga poses because I'm having this old lady hip issue. And there's— I've researched a bunch of yoga poses that are good to open up the hips and that kind of stuff. So that's what I am going to do every morning, and I'm hoping that it's going to help me to decompress a little better and, you know, enjoy life more. So you need to determine the self-care rituals that have the most impact on your physical and mental well-being and try to stick to them for 30 days. Feels like a long time, but once you have stuck to something for 30 days, it either becomes an ongoing habit and makes you feel better, or you chuck it out. That's the way I look at it. If it's not working, it's not working. Find something else to do. Okay. So number 3 is don't betray your history.
Mm-hmm.
So it's amazing how much we all downplay and underestimate ourselves. Every time we act like we are incapable of something, we are betraying so many moments in our lives, all the things we have survived, accomplished, and created. The world often measures accomplishment in black and white terms. Everything's black and white, yes. How many degrees do you have? How much money do you have? It's so easy to use these standards to place judgments on ourselves. Fight against that. Measure yourself according to your values. So at this point in my life, my greatest accomplishment is not any degree or certificate. It's the work that I've done to heal my deepest wounds so that I don't pass my pain onto my son. I care far more about the love and healing I share than the items on my resume. Can I hear an amen on that one? Whatever your accomplishments are, keep them in focus. Write them down. Read through them often. Feel pride in them. Think of them the next time you start to underestimate yourself. That's huge, people. That's going to help you. So for me, an accomplishment— and this is just before COVID hit. I took a class that I'd been wanting to take for a long time on hair extensions and learned how to do these beautiful hair extensions. And I had been wanting to do that forever. That was a huge accomplishment for me. To take that class and learn about doing extensions. Now I need to do extensions, but COVID hit and life went, you know, anyways. So sorry about that. Kind of got off track there. What am I on here? Number 4: Only seek one approval. Some of us were conditioned at a young age To people-please and follow rules to receive love and acceptance. Being our full authentic self came at a price. So true. We were taught to seek permission, not draw too much attention, and live with certain norms. And so we started trusting the approval of others over our own inner voice. Oh, that's so sad. Work to undo that programming. Take small steps every day that build your trust in yourself. When I became a mother, I received so much unsolicited advice. And there were a few times where I trusted that advice over my innate mother's intuition and ended up deeply regretting it. I vowed to myself I would never trust someone's opinion over my intuition again, and I have not had a regret since. The more trust I place in my own inner voice— and I don't know how many of you are believers or whatever— my inner voice is the Holy Spirit, um, and you have to learn how to listen for him. But the more I trust my inner voice, the more I trust I feel for myself overall. Listen to your inner voice, your intuition. Think of all the times it has served you well, and think of the consequences each time you betrayed it. The more you learn to trust your inner voice over the approval of others, the more your self-esteem will strengthen. You'll just develop so much more confidence in your own thoughts and your own processes. And just listen to that inner voice, always, always. Number 5, this is the final one. Stop wishing you were different.
Mm.
I hear from so many women who say that they have spent their whole lives wishing they were different, wishing they were like their sister, like their mother, like their aunt, like a Hollywood star, like a friend. They wish they were different from what they were, wishing they were not as easily affected by the cruelty of the world around them. This is really— for me, this is kind of a sad one. I hear from people who have survived abuse, trauma, dysfunctional families, narcissistic relationships, and more. And they all end up saying similar things. I always wished I wasn't so sensitive. I was told I was the broken one for feeling so much.
Ooh.
I was told to toughen up, to stop being so high maintenance. I hate that I feel so much. Oh my goodness, he's poorly. Ugh. So my first thought is always, can't you see? You are not the broken one. Imagine if the world was only full of people who did not feel so much, as if insensitivity is the ideal we should all strive for. As if it is okay for people to pass their brokenness onto others and then tell them they're the problem. Own who you are, heal in the ways you need to heal, but then share your love and perspectives with the world.
Fight hard against retreating and hiding away to avoid pain because the world needs more of your light. And remember, that our core, we are all sensitive beings. Self-esteem is essential to getting what you want out of this short life. Prioritize it, fight for it, and most of all, never let it rest in anyone else's hands but your own. So what do you do to strengthen your self-esteem? Have any of these helped?
Um, These are things that I am incorporating into my life. I'm going to be reading through these every day just to double-check how I'm doing. They're going to be, you know, posted right at my desk here so that I can do them. And if you would like a copy of what I have, this PDF file with my 5 Ways to Strengthen Your Self-Esteem, please reach out. Either message me below or send me a private message, whatever works for you. Just let me know that you'd like this PDF and I will send it right to you. Okay? I want to help as many people as I can to build a better inner feeling of themselves. And today we need it more than ever. Thank you. So I want you all to know I love you and I hope you all have a fantastic day and work at building your inner self. Be aware of those negative thoughts and kick them out. Just kick them out, guys. We can do it. I know we can. Again, reach out if you would like my PDF with these 5 ways to strengthen your self-esteem. And I hope you can join me on this journey. Thank you. Bye. Love you.
