Tamsen Webster breaks down four communication styles: Commander, Counselor, Showman, and Sage. Each mindset uses different evidence—stories, data, coaching, or declarations—to persuade. Rotating between them helps you reach more people and land your strongest points.
There are 4 message mindsets that we use and fall into whenever we think about or present our messages. Which one are you? I'm Tamsen Webster of TamsenWebster.com, and that's what we're talking about this week on Find the Red Thread. When you're putting a message together, you are putting it together with an audience in mind. At least I hope you are. And with that audience in mind, we want as many people in that audience to hear our message and respond to it, whether that's to think differently or to act differently. Now we know there are a whole bunch of things that can get in our way, but the thing I wanna talk about today is the kind of evidence, the kind of illustration, the kind of feeling that people prefer to hear that message in. What does that mean? Well, do they like stories or do they like quotes or do they like to see the data behind something or do they wanna be coached through an exercise that helps them experience that message in play for themselves? Each of those things comes down to two different variables that I've seen over the work in my career. And those variables are the difference between the level of emotion that leads the message, and the level of, let's call it, prescriptiveness. How much do they like to be shown versus told? Now, you can think of this as a 2x2 matrix where the x-axis has that emotional piece. So think of the left as having head and the right having heart. And the y-axis, which is the one that shows how much people like to be told or not. So at the top of that one is tell and the bottom is show. So we have head, heart, and tell, show. What that does is create 4 distinct message mindsets. The high tell, high head is something I call the commander. So if you are someone who prefers to use sharp quotes or strong statements, and likes to declare things as you see them, we have nothing to fear but fear itself, then you are likely a commander. If that's your favorite kind of talk, then you probably have that message mindset as a listener too. Now, what happens if we go to the opposite corner? Well, the opposite corner would be high in the show category and high in the heart. That creates the commander's opposite, what I call the counselor. The counselor message mindset is one that pe— where people really like to be shown what the message looks like, or if you're the person giving it, or you like to show rather than tell people, here's what to do. But you're doing it from a point of empathy, of helping people understand for themselves. If you fall into this category, then you tend to like to use a lot of a lot of metaphors, a lot of examples for people so they can see what this might look like for them. So what about the other two styles? Well, the other two styles are made of the opposite of those. So if we're talking about high tell like the Commander, but high heart like the Counselor, then you have a Showman. Showmen love stories. Whether to hear them or to tell them. They love to engage people's emotions, not just happiness and sadness, but fear and anger and motivation, inspiration. They really appeal to feeling, but they do it in a very telling way. The opposite of the Showman is the Sage. Now, this person is the opposite of all of those things. So that person has high head, They like to present external data, but they like to use other sources. They're gonna show you what the options are. I like to remember them this way, and it all comes down to the phrase, "This is right." So a Commander would like to say, "This is right." They like to tell people, and they want to be told if that's your preferred style. A Showman will say something along the lines of, "Let me tell you a story that shows you why this is right." and you'll see for yourselves. So, telling a story that tells you exactly what you're supposed to think or feel, but it's still going to come in this very emotion-based place. Now, what does the counselor say? The counselor has the equivalent of saying, "I know, you'll know when this is right." So, they're going to have that person experience it for themselves, and even though they may have an opinion, they have a tendency to let the audience make their own choice. So if that sounds appealing to you, that might be your message mindset from an audience standpoint too. And finally, the sage, the sage tends to say, the data show this is right. In other words, the research shows. So I may have an opinion as well, but I'm going to deliver it from insightfulness, but I'm going to show you what other people says, say, that's a head leading, showing approach. What does this mean and what's the real problem we have to solve? The real problem we have to solve as message makers is that we tend to default to the one we prefer the most. If we love stories, then we tend to build all the evidence for our points just around stories, which is going to be awesome for the people in the audience that love that themselves. But what about the sages sitting in the audience? They're probably saying, "Oh, where's the data to support this?" Or what about the counselors that say, "Well, that's great for that story, but what does it mean for me?" Or what about the commanders who say, "Yeah, but what's the point of that story?" So, here's the thing to understand is that as message makers, in fact, as audience members, we all have all 4 mindsets within us. The best message makers, the best communicators, the best Leaders learn how to rotate between those mindsets depending on what the audience and the message requires. Think about it this way. What do you think you want to open a message with? Something that shows people what the goal or the problem looks like but still draws a point out of it? Well, that's probably going to be starting with something the showman would do. But you want to make sure you draw the points, you're going to move over to the Commander afterwards. Then to make sure that somebody understands what it says and what it means to them, you're probably going to want them to walk them through a thought exercise like a Counselor would. And you may want to support all of that with data that pleases the Sage. Do you have to do that for every point? No. But I would recommend that for the key points in your message, whatever it may be, particularly for the problem, the idea, and the change, that you consider using all 4 message mindsets. And one last tip: whatever you most prefer— let's say you're a Commander— you're gonna be best when you start to balance out with your opposite: Commander, Counselor, Showman, Sage. That's this week's episode of Find the Red Thread. I'm Tamsen Webster of tamsenwebster.com.
