This content was created by Tamsen Webster. This content was uploaded by Tamsen Webster. This is a YouTube video titled "The Antidote to 'Cause Shaming' - EP034" (published 2017-09-27). It is a solo episode of Tamsen Webster's "Find the Red Thread" series in which Tamsen Webster discusses "cause shaming"—the impulse to judge others who support the same cause differently—and presents her "Red Thread" framework for understanding why people take different approaches to shared goals. The episode is instructional/reflectional and directs listeners to findyourredthread.com for a worksheet.
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Have you ever been the victim of cause shaming? That's what I call the feeling when somebody seems to attack you for not responding to a cause the same way they do. Is there an antidote for that? I think there is. I'm Tamsen Webster of TamsenWebster.com, and that's what we're talking about this week on Find the Red Thread. I believe most of us have certain things that we care so deeply about that we are willing to take rather extraordinary measures to defend or advance. That belief or that cause. Everything from adopt, don't shop for pets to something political. Now, that in and of itself is not a problem. The problem is when we run into people who don't behave exactly the same way we do. Now, I can understand why you run into someone who has a different opinion or even an opposing opinion and that creates frustration. But I think most of us are really baffled by when we don't agree with other people who have the same opinion we do, who hold the same cause or hold the same belief in the same esteem. But still, there, I'm sure there have been times when you have looked at somebody else and said, I don't understand why you aren't willing to do this thing for this cause that I am. I know I've been in that position. So where does that come from? Well, it comes from a very human tendency to judge other people by our own standards. Well, I'm doing this thing, so why aren't you doing it too? But here we need to remember that at the heart of every person, every person, lies a red thread. And while that red thread, the existence of it, is universal, and while even the components of it are universal, because they are how we make things make sense, how we make sense of the world. How we fill in those blanks of the Red Thread is completely unique. So there's both good news and bad news in this. The good news, of course, is that everyone has a Red Thread, which means if we go and look for each other's Red Threads, we can start to figure out what it is that drives them. So even though you and I may have the same goal and we even see the same fundamental problem, Based on our own ideas, we may take different approaches. We make different changes in order to satisfy that goal. You may be somebody who loves to be right out on the front lines, speaking to other people, talking to other people, gathering people together, having those meetings, making those strong statements, and we need people like that. We also need people on the other side of those thoughts, doing some of the strategy, making sure that the mechanics of things are working. We may need people who are doing other things that reflect necessary components in the whole fabric of making sure that a cause that you believe in succeeds. But this is exactly the role that a red thread plays. When we are trying to see— achieve the same goal, when we have some of the same fundamental beliefs about why it's so important that we treat other people a certain way, or that we respond to animals, or that we respond to the environment in a certain way, then it's necessary that we find ways to weave all of those red threads together. So I know that the reaction sometimes is to say, "I don't understand why you," but with the Red Thread, you have the tool to be able to go and start to figure out exactly why. Why someone does that, and more importantly, to recognize the value that their different approach has in serving the overall goal that you both have. Finding the Red Thread is so important for you, but it's important for all of us, particularly when we're trying to come together to figure out how it is that we can solve the big problems that are here in the world. If you need help figuring out your Red Thread, go to findyourredthread.com and download the Red Thread worksheet. Figure it out. It's important. Not because I want you to, but because it helps you understand how you see the world. And the more that we understand that, the more we can understand the world itself. That's this week's episode of Find the Red Thread, and I'm Tamsen Webster. Of TamsenWebster.com.
