Are Your Life Choices Making You Happy

Welcome to the Soul of Innovation podcast. I'm Thomas Anglero, and let me ask you a question. Do you think everybody wants to be like you? Do you— when you talk to people, do you think everybody wants to be just like you? Let me tell you a story. I was reached— reached— a headhunter, uh, recruiter for jobs reached out to me recently, and Uh, when we talked, she told me, after we talked for a while, she told me, you know, you're only good enough to be the CEO of a national company. She pauses and she goes, unlike me, I'm good enough to be the CEO of an international company. Every international company wants me. And in my experience, in all the years I've been working, That is not a job I want. That is not something I wanted to aspire to. But I wanted to know why was she not conscious that she was belittling me in our conversation and smiling at that time. So I dove deeper and asked her, how's the things at home? I mean, how, how did you end up being in a recruiter company when you're wanted by all these international companies around the world? What's going on? She goes, she told me that she was thinking about retiring, but her kids told her, don't stay at home, nobody wants you at home. I asked her more questions, and then she told me her kids don't even live at home. So your kids don't live at home, but they don't want you home. Let me tell you something. As you get up in the years, if your family tells you that they don't want you at home and no one lives at home, you're being told a very big message. And if you project your compensation of who you are to other people to justify the decisions you've made and the places that you ended up, I think you need to spend time talking to yourself. Do you project? Do you at any time when talking to people would measure yourself against the person you're talking to and unconsciously have said things that made that person feel not as good because you had to feel better about yourself? Do you realize that you are compensating, that you're trying to make it up an excuse for the reasons why you've done and where you are and all the things that you shouldn't have done? Should have been? How many times did you travel that you should not have traveled? You should have been with the family. I am talking about why is it that you're not happy with who you are? Why is it that you make other people try to be not happy with who they are so that you feel better about yourself? This woman shocked me only because she reminded me that we make decisions along the way. And it's like when you say a lie over time, you have to say another lie that builds on top of that lie, and another lie builds on top of that lie. And after a while, your whole life is a lie. It's the same at work where you miss a family event, you prioritize different things that you then in the future have to prioritize something else, and then you prioritize something else, and after a while you're alone. You're utterly alone. And if you find yourself that your family doesn't, doesn't want you to be home, doesn't want to be with you, and that you say, oh, I got great friends and everything, and all those friends are just from work. They're really colleagues. It's not too late, but it's pretty damn late. I felt so sad for her. So let's flip it back to you. Are you happy with where you're at? Are you happy with what you've become based on all the decisions you made, based on all of the events you never went to, based on all the lies that you've told? Are you happy with the deceit that you've practiced with friends, family, husbands, wives, kids, employers? Can you look in the mirror and see who you really are and be happy with that? Can you justify, or do you justify your current life based on, I did it for the family? Had to make that money. I did it for the family. I did it for my career. Why are you justifying your existence? If you're truly happy, there's no justification. You are happy. You're proud of who you are. You're proud of what you stand for. When you enter into a room, You feel that there's a glow around you. Your presence just makes other people happy because your pure soul is pure, your heart is pure, your thoughts are pure. You have no malice in you. When's the last time you felt like that? Have you ever felt like that? And if not, why not? Your life is your life. The woman— this recruiter woman I'm talking about She lost that along the way. A corporation is a company made up of stockholders who want the employees of the company to make them as much money as possible. So as an employee, you're losing— you're selling yourself for paycheck to make other people rich. That is by definition what you're doing. You're working for someone else to make them more wealthy than you are, potentially. By that definition, do you really even want to be in that situation? Do you want to be 60+ years old and find out that you sold yourself, your meaning in life, your opportunities to smile, love, laugh, to be a little girl for your whole life, to be a little boy your whole life, to meet people, smell things, taste things all the time, not just at fancy dinners and at conference buffets, all the time. To be walked down the street and be recognized by everybody, to be invited into everyone's home. Who you could have been, what you could have experienced if you'd have made different decisions based on who you are. Think about that. If you would have made different decisions at those moments in life— and yes, you're right now having flashes of them, aren't you? In those moments in life, and there are many of them, if you spend time— and you should spend time thinking about it— if you'd have made a different decision at that moment, if you didn't go with him, or if you didn't go with her, if you would have said yes instead of no, If you'd gave more effort. If you would have not taken something. If you would have practiced for that recital or practiced for that competition or just showed up or applied to that school or college or competition or project or job. Who would you be today? What would you be today? Where would you be today? How are you today? Reflect on that. How are you today? Go forth and spread beauty and light. Your light, your beauty. It's not too late. It's never too late. They say that the expression is, the sun always comes up in the morning. There's always going to be a tomorrow, and the sun will come up again, and you'll have another opportunity to be who you were meant to be, what you were meant to be, and to live your life how You were meant to live it. You don't have to continue being what you've become based on all the decisions and compromises you made along the way. Be you. Be you. I'm Thomas Anglero. Love you. Until next time.