He Refused My Help. (And It Ruined His Day)

Welcome to the Soul of Innovation podcast. I am Thomas Anglero, thinking really hard today. I want to share with you a story about a father who said no to an opportunity where he should have said yes. This will be short and sweet, but I thought it was important to share. I went for a walk this morning up a steep mountain where it was a trail that had steps and plateaus and steps and plateaus. And along the way, I ran into a father with two kids and their bikes, and I offered to carry one of the bikes because the guy looked absolutely exhausted. And I carried one of the bikes to one of the plateaus, and I got to that plateau, said, hey, listen, do you want me to take the bike all the way up to the end of the trail? And he said no, but he said no with attitude. This guy was going to spend the next hour— he was already sweating, he already smells really bad, they were just starting their day, and he's got these two little kids who are too small to be carrying their very heavy bicycles. And then, you know, the universe put me in front of him to help him, so I'm going to help him. And he said no with attitude. He said no and a little bit pissed off. And as I continued on my way, I looked back to give him another chance. Still made eye contact. No help. Get away. And I thought to myself, how many times in life is it that the person that we're looking for, the help that we're seeking, the expert with the insight that we need, the person who's going to give us the hug just when we need it, the person who's going to give us a smile just when we need it, the person who's going to brush against our hand just when we feel like, God, no one's touching me. I just, just need some physical contact. Someone, the person's going to lend you $5 or €5 or whatever currency, the person who's going to just give you what you need, that we blow them off. We see them as irritating. We see them as annoying. We think they're flirting with us. We think they're, oh, they're trying, why is he looking at me? Or why is this person, oh, oh. I don't even— I, yeah, I wish I had money for every time these things happen. But this father today, because he's a father and I'm a father, his self-righteousness, his— actually, the read I got from him was, I can't have him, I can't owe him anything. Isn't that crazy? Because we were standing so close, looking eye to eye. His look of, "I'm saying no to you because even though you're a stranger, even though we've never met, even though we will never meet, I cannot allow myself to owe you anything. I would rather struggle for the next hour Physically struggle, sweat. He's already sweating. Stink yourself up. This is how you're starting your day. Your kids are annoying, saying, Papa, hurry up, you're too damn slow. Instead of using the help of the person who's supposed to be there when you need it, and you're all done in 5 minutes, no sweat, no problem. Papa's a hero to the kids, everybody's happy. But instead, your mind goes to I can't owe you. What's wrong with you? How many times have you made a decision and said, no, I can't owe this person? How many times you made the decision, said, no, I'm not going to enjoy the smile that I got that person because they fill in the blank. How many times the universe put right in front of you what you need and you said, No. You said no, maybe the guy told me in my face today, no. But a lot of times you just turn your head. Or what I experienced on the rest of the walk was, because I spent 2 hours walking the beautiful forest this morning, was everyone except for this old foreign couple, they said hello to me, everybody else did not say hello to me. Matter of fact, they turned their back on me, which is worse than a no because at least the guy looked me in the eyes and said no. And I read his mind. I mean, you see, he said, "He could not owe me." Fine. But in the forest, to turn your physical back, not to say anything, but to turn your back on someone, you're turning your back not on me, but you're turning your back on yourself. What would it have cost to say hi? What would it have cost to smile? What would it have cost to allow yourself to see another person who you will probably never see again in your lifetime? And just smile. A smile is proven it lights up your DNA, it lights up your heart, it makes you feel good. It starts— it produces hormones that give you a feel of joy and love. And instead, you give me your back. A conscious decision to give me your back. A conscious decision to say no. Why? Why you saying no? How many times have you said no to a stranger who was put there for you at the moment you needed them to give you what you need, and you turn your back? You said no. You allowed your mind to go and make a decision that went against all the universal forces that allow that individual to be there to give you what you need. And you're upset. You didn't get what you needed. You had a horrible day. You didn't get the insight. You didn't get the love. You didn't get the hug. You didn't get the smile. You didn't get the the chance for someone to carry your kids' bikes, to help you so that you start this wonderful day of biking with your children, nice and relaxed and not sweaty. And instead, you spend the first hour instead of the first 5 minutes sweating like a pig climbing up the side of a mountain. Accept the love. You decided to— that you're here, you are alone in the middle of the forest. It would have been nice to get a smile. It would Wouldn't it be nice to get a hi, what a wonderful addition today? Instead, you decide to turn your entire back, show your butt to the person, and make believe all of a sudden the mobile phone has an internet connection just as you pass them. Oh, and then the connection disappeared as you passed me. Why are we behaving this way? Why do you do these things? Why are you saying no to the love that the universe is giving you? Or maybe I'm crazy. Maybe I'm the only person who experiences this. But this happens so often and so much, and I hear so many people being unhappy. Look around you, how many people unhappy? For me, it's like something happened after COVID. It broke society. We don't know how to connect with other people. We don't know how to look at other people. We don't know how to talk to other people and we're so self-involved. God, I've never seen people so caught up with themselves and the little world that they have that is about 1 millimeter from their skin. Beyond 1 millimeter, their world crumbles. They think everything's evil and negative. The world hasn't changed, you have. Your perception has changed, your mind has changed. You've forgotten that to live an incredible life, to live any life, you'd have to live with other people. And that means for you to get something, you have to give something first. And these things called coincidences are not random coincidences. They are meant to happen, but you're converting a coincidence to a negative experience, and then you don't even remember that you were that horrible in that moment. And you're going, why didn't I have a good day? Because you said no to all the great coincidences, all the people, all the things, the thing that fell off the sky, the thing, the piece of paper that hit you in the feet that you should have unfolded and said, there's the answer. All these coincidences you just ignored because you're consumed by you and your thoughts. You and your thoughts. You and your thoughts are why you're not happy. You and your thoughts are why your relationship doesn't work. You and your thoughts are why you're lonely. You and your thoughts are why you're in the shape that you're in. You can't escape your thoughts, but now your thoughts are taking over everything. For you to have a wonderful life, you have to allow other people into your life. You have to allow strangers in the street, the weirdo in the store, who you think's a weirdo but is actually just a guy buying some diapers, maybe. Why is everybody a weirdo today? Why can't he just be a father buying diapers? Why can't he just buy a guy buying a piece of gum? Why do you make the decision to think the things you do? Go forth and spread beauty and light. Stop thinking. Stop hurting yourself. Stop rejecting all the love and all the peace and charity and people, memories that you have not allowed to give birth because you shut it down as soon as the moment was about to happen and give birth to create something that would have been so wonderful for your day. You buried it. You didn't allow it to happen. You said no, or you thought something so negative. You created a story in your mind that was so bad, and that's why your day is so horrible, and that's why you're so unhappy. All the things that were supposed to happen that are so wonderful for you, you shot them all down. Walk the streets in joy. Everyone is here to be with you, a part of you. Not to offend you. Many years ago, people would run into people and fall in love randomly. Today, people don't even remember that used to happen. The fault is yours, because other people are still walking the streets waiting to meet you. Waiting to give you a job offer, waiting to ask you to join their team, play in the recital, the dance company, move in with them, go for a walk, be a friend. But you decided to follow the voice in your head that created a story to protect you from your destiny. Stop listening to the voices in your head and embrace the love that's walking in the streets and in the mountains. That's why the streets are there, and that's why the mountains are there. So spontaneous people, moments, and you interact and give you the most filling life of love that you deserve. I'm Thomas Anglero. You wanna find me? I'll be walking the trails, I'll be in the forest, I'll be walking the streets downtown, all over the world. I'm not in my head. I'm smiling. Until next time.