Get In Here Y’all, There’s a Shoplifter Among Us

Welcome to the Trigger and the Truth podcast. I'm your host Tina White, and this is the space where we take a deep dive into the complexities of relationships— romantic, family, friendships, workplace dynamics, and of course entrepreneurship— and how they intertwine with our mental health and wellness. As a dedicated Tina White, mental health advocate. We don't just have conversations. We lean into the hard truths, peel back the layers, and journey together toward understanding, closure, and personal growth. More than ever, we're on a collective mission to find peace, clarity, and healing. This is your safe space to explore the moments that shaped you, discover your triggers, uncover the truths, and find the healing you deserve. So whether you're searching for solace, insight, or a fresh perspective, you're in the right place. If this is your first time tuning in, welcome to the conversation. I'd love for you to like, share, and pass this along to someone who might need some encouragement or insight. Now let's dive into today's episode and start this journey into self-discovery and wellness together. Before we jump into today's episode, let me give you a little context. This conversation was recorded back in January or February 2025, before Target made it clear that diversity, equity, and inclusion were no longer a priority. Just so we are clear on the timeline now. Let's talk about the day this episode was born. I was on what was supposed to be a regular Target run with someone I was getting to know, but things went left real quick. Instead of just paying for the items in his cart like a functioning adult, he decided to go the five-finger discount route. Yep, just straight up shoplifting with me right there. I was so confused and puzzled. Because not only was it reckless, it was dangerous. And had things gone south, I could have been caught up in his nonsense. It felt like a bad Dave Chappelle skit, only I wasn't laughing. There were so many red flags in that moment. The fact that he thought that behavior was normal, that he didn't even pause to consider how it might affect me. And that his words and his lifestyle weren't matching at all. It left me asking, has he done this so much that it doesn't even register anymore? And how many of us are walking around with people who say one thing but act out something entirely different? That was one of many signs that this situationship was circling the drain. And I was deep in the emotional fog trying to make sense of betrayal, redirection, and denial. You might hear some of that rawness in my tone because I was healing in real time. I thought about re-recording this episode, but I didn't because the truth is still the truth, even when it's spoken from the middle of the mess. So if you've ever been made to feel like you're the problem when all you did was try to protect your peace, this episode is for you. Let's get into it.

All right, so get in here, y'all. I, I have to talk. I have to vent because— so I'm currently like exiting this situationship that I had been dealing with for a few months, several months, right? So the other morning I was with the person and we went to Target. So we're in Target, I'm needing to get a few things. So I got my cart, went my way. He got his cart, went his way. So, you know, we reconnect. Go to customer service because he was returning some stuff. Whatever happened, he wasn't able to return this stuff. But in the meantime, he has a cart filled with items that have not been paid for yet. Okay. So I, you know, give him my stuff to pay for. He's literally standing there debating with me about why I need these things. And so this is a real story, and I really experienced this deplorable foolishness. So he's like, um, do you have $20?

Or whatever he asked.

I said, I don't even have pockets, right? So And I'm just standing there and I'm already like, I already knew that this, this is going to be the last interaction. But we're walking towards the door and you guys can only imagine what happened, right? We're walking towards the door and guess what happened? Loss prevention. Loss prevention stopped him. They didn't stop me, they stopped him. But you know out of consideration for one being one sound, we, we came here together, we're going to leave together. I stopped too. So I stopped. So he's doing a back and forth with them, and then he starts going off on a tangent, and it just starts getting crazy.

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Fast forward, a young— one of the young ladies who was a young African-American girl, she just kept— she looked at me, she was like, are you with him? And I was like, yes. And she was like, okay. So I'm standing at the door Right? I'm recording the whole thing. So after about, uh, I don't know, a 10-minute exchange, she was like, I'm making the call, have a good day, sir. But instead of him walking off and like, come on, let's go, he still wants to go back and forth and try to convince these people about why some of the items in the car are his and how he needs to, you know, He wants his shit. So I'm like, she said have a good day. I had to say it to him like 4 times before it registered to him. Like, come on, like, this whole scene is crazy. This doesn't make any sense. We're not children, we're not adolescents. Like, who shoplifts at this big age, right? So don't get me wrong, I'm from New York, like, you know what it is, like the boosters, they say they saved a lot of Christmases, they saved a lot of birthdays, and I get it. But if that's what you do, that's fine. I'm not judging you, right? Because who am I to judge? But do that shit on your own time, right? So he driving to Queens. I was like, okay, you could take me to Queens now. Because we was in Brooklyn. So as we were driving to Queens, we chopping it up and we talking, and I'm trying to explain to him how crazy that was and how, you know, that could have been a very detrimental situation for me if I had gotten caught up in that. Not only that, if the cops who were there would have been on some bullshit, that could have really went left. Right? The whole situation, anytime you have police contact, the situation can go left. But, you know, cooler heads prevailed because the young lady and also the guy who was in loss prevention, they really, they didn't want any problems. They didn't want any issues. And they saw, I guess they realized that going back and forth with this person is a moot point. Like, there's no way we're going to continue to argue with this person who clearly Something is wrong with him. And you had to be there to understand what I'm saying. Like, it didn't make sense. Like, you're dead wrong, but you're standing 10 toes down like you're right, and you're trying to prove a point when there's no point. It's pointless. You're dead wrong, right? So my point in saying all of that is I already knew that I was not dealing with this person after this incident. I knew it already. So I went home. He left. And I was relieved because I was like debating. Now this is where the naive and crash test dummy comes in, whether or not I should go back to Brooklyn. So I said, yeah, you can wait for me. I got some stuff to do, blah, blah, blah. But the reality is that I wasn't coming back outside. And then he texted me, he said, "I have something to do. I'm heading back to Brooklyn." And I breathed a sigh of relief because I knew I wasn't going back. I knew I wasn't getting in my car and driving to go see him. And I knew if I stayed in the house long enough, He will leave. And he left.

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So I say all of this to say, even when we conversed about what happened, this man still found a way to try to make it seem like I was somehow wrong. And it was somehow my fault. He's like, I didn't want to go to Target anyway, and blah, blah, blah. Okay, so okay, no problem, you didn't want to go to Target, but you know, I didn't want to be part of, you know, Shoplifters Anonymous, you understand? Like, I, I'm past all of that. I don't— like, I'm super grown, like I— what? And I didn't tell nobody because I don't be telling people certain stuff because it's embarrassing. Like, I'm embarrassed because I'm on this constant quest for elevation, and I always find myself in a situation where I attract the the most wounded puppies. That situation, that whole scene was crazy. And we're not even going to talk about what happened the morning before that. I'm not even gonna mention that because that was a whole other shit show. But my point is, I don't know, is it me? Am I supposed to be like doing something different with my life? I attract the looniest of the Looney Tunes, and I don't get it. And I used to be like, oh, I can save him. He just needs some love. Nope, no more. You don't need love, you need therapy. And that's why I'm saying 2025 is the year of the therapist. I promise. You guys don't even know I'm on a mission. And if anybody knows me, once I put my mind and set my mind up and it's already locked in, there's no stopping. It's going all the way to the top. And so I just have to bring awareness. We have to go deep. We have to go— if we got to go in the trenches, whatever we need to do to bring about awareness to the fact that We gotta stop, like, as a community, as people. Like, this man has really convinced himself that I'm somehow his enemy because I set a boundary, that I'm somehow his enemy because I told him, like, that was a crazy scene, and you know what, I don't want to be around this energy, I don't want to be around this anymore. And he's taking it and he's twisting it around, and it's— he's making it seem like I somehow harmed him or put him in harm's way when it's the exact opposite. He has convinced himself that I'm somehow his enemy. And these text messages that have— we like— because there's a text message war going on right now. Like, there's a whole back and forth with this man. And yes, I'm participating, I'm partaking, because I'm still— God is still working on me, right? But I'm reading it and I'm listening and I'm thinking, it's not based on reality. It's not based on anything that I've done to you. And I told him, you need to go talk to the lady. I told him that so many times, and I'm not even kidding, I'm not playing, this is real talk.

So I had to get that off my chest. Thank you so much for spending time with me today on The Trigger and the Truth. Remember, it's all about about uncovering those triggers, finding the truth, and building stronger, healthier relationships for ourselves and with the people around us. If today's episode resonated with you, I'd love it if you'd like, share, and send it to someone who might benefit. Together, we're making mental health and wellness a priority. And always remember, never let your emotions supersede your intelligence. Take care of yourself, be kind to your mind, and until next time, let's keep uncovering truths, one heartfelt conversation at a time.