She Smiled, Then Stabbed Me In The Back: WITH A KNIFE

Why you can't miss this episode: Heartbreaking Confession. A close friend, an older sister figure, stabbed Tina—literally! Her story proves even the deepest attacks can lead to profound healing. Red Flags Decoded. Learn how hidden resentment and trauma manifest in loved ones, and how to spot it before it cuts deep. Mirror of Pain. Sometimes betrayal isn't a plot; it's a reflection. Discover how other people's wounds can find home in your soul. Healing Without Erasing: Tina reveals how she forgave not to forget, but to reclaim herself. Power of Boundaries: Learn why not everyone is kin and how to protect your energy with strength, not guilt. Call to Action Listener Challenge: Reflect: Has someone smiled then stabbed you in the back? Journal: Notice the warning signs you ignored. Share, use hashtag #HiddenHateHealing and tag us. Let's turn betrayal into community support. Don't just survive betrayal, grow through it. Tune in now wherever you get your podcasts. Let's dismantle hidden hate together.

Welcome to the Trigger and the Truth podcast. I'm your host, Tina White, and This is the space where we take a deep dive into the complexities of relationships— romantic, family, friendships, workplace dynamics, and of course, entrepreneurship— and how they intertwine with our mental health and wellness. As a dedicated mental health advocate, we don't just have conversations. We lean into the hard truths, peel back the layers, and journey together toward understanding, closure, and personal growth. More than ever, we're on a collective mission to find peace, clarity, and healing. This is your safe space to explore the moments that shaped you, discover your triggers, uncover the truths, and find the healing you deserve. So whether you're searching for solace, insight, or a fresh perspective, you're in the right place. If this is your first time tuning in, welcome to the conversation. I'd love for you to like, share, and pass this along to someone who might need some encouragement or insight. Now let's dive into today's episode and start this journey into self-discovery and wellness together.

Welcome to The Trigger and the Truth. I'm Tina White, and in today's episode, it's, it's another personal story because I'm sharing all of these stories. And if you know me personally, you know, you know, I'ma pull up, I'ma say hi, I'ma wave at everybody, I'ma kiss some babies, and I'ma keep it moving. Like, the most you're gonna see is my brake lights, right? But being that type of person I've noticed that my personality type, it breeds envy, and I've come to terms with that. But I also realize that how someone else feels about you has nothing to do with you. That has everything to do with them. And I recognize certain things and I keep my distance. Again, that's another part of my avoidant personality type, but it's for a reason. Like, all of this is for a reason. This, this life and these, these things that I've gone through and the things that you go through, it's all for a reason. And if you sit down and you get quiet enough, you'll find your purpose. So I'm finding my purpose. I'm on this journey and I'm figuring stuff out, right? This story, I want to share this story from my life because this is a story about betrayal, survival, and the lessons that I've learned about the dangers of unchecked jealousy and the importance of setting boundaries. So growing up, I always considered myself a kind and loyal friend. Now, I believed in seeing the best in people, even when they didn't show me their best. As a teenager, I had a friend who was like a big sister to me. She was a little older, someone I admired, and someone I thought cared about me. Now, I would have done anything for her. I was that friend who showed up, and I still am. I'm loyal, and I supported her even when she acted out. Like, she was erratic. She always had some shit going. And looking back, I saw the red flags. She had a really bad temper. She was very unpredictable. But at the time, I didn't think much of it. I cared about her, and I believed our friendship was genuine. Then one day, everything changed. Like, out of nowhere, literally no argument, no warning, she attacked me. Like, I was standing in front of this girl's Lisa house, and I'm standing there, I'm talking to Lisa. The other girl is across the street and she's arguing with somebody, and they trying to hold her back, and they going back and forth, and we're all just standing around looking. Now mind you, I'm just standing there chopping it up with Lisa and minding my business. The next thing I know, the girl got loose and she runs across the street, and before I knew it, I'm stabbed in the back. Literally, a knife was plunged into my back. So I'm like, what the f— And I mean stabbed in the back in the most literal sense. Like, I still have the scar. She took a knife and she put it in my back. I know I said that like 3 times, but all I remember was thinking, what? So I went to the ambulance. They called my mom. She met me at the hospital. I had to get stitches. And I just remember being in pain. Like, I was in pain. I was in shock. It was like complete disbelief because why would someone I trusted, someone I love like a sister, do this to me? And till this day, it's January 1st, 2025. Till this day, I still don't have an answer. Now, years after it happened, we reconnected at my grand opening event because if you guys know the story, I opened up a real estate brokerage in my old neighborhood where I grew up, like literally down the block where I grew up. And it's in Queens. So, you know, all of the people from the neighborhood, they came to the grand opening, and she was one of them. By then, I had moved on. I have my children, I have this business, I have a lot of things going on in my life. There's actually a billboard on, uh, um, Farmers Boulevard announcing my grand opening. Like, it was a big production, right? And it was 2 days before my birthday, so I was just in la-la land. And so that was my birthday gift to myself, opening the office. And I'm thinking, I'm in— I'm on 140th Avenue, these are my people, these are my folks. But I learned a lot about opening that business in that location. We'll get to that another time. But by that time, I had moved on with my life, you know. I had built something for myself and I had healed, or so I thought. So when the subject came up, I finally asked her, you know, why? I said, why did you stab me? And she looked at me and then she didn't say anything, but then she just was like, she didn't know. She had no explanation. All she could do was apologize. And while her apology was accepted and it was a step, it didn't erase the betrayal or the scar, both the physical and the emotional one. Now emotionally, I'm over it, right? It's literally years later. I've gone— and even the scar, it's faded. It's still there. You can still see it. I still touch it. But what I've thought about is that Over the years, I learned that being nice to people and thinking that just because you love them, that doesn't mean they love you. And this could be in all kinds of relationships, whether it's family, friends, a marriage. It's like, just because I love you, that don't mean that you love me, right? And you gotta recognize that. And it's one of the best parts of who I am because I am a nice person, but I'm not— I'm no longer nice without boundaries. When I look back at that friendship, I now see that I ignored a lot of signs. I excused behavior that wasn't okay, and I wanted to believe in her. I let my loyalty blind me to the fact that she wasn't a safe person for me to be around, right? And that's the lesson I want to share with all y'all. Do not let your kindness make you a target. Protect your peace. Set your boundaries. My brother would say, oh, you're naive. I don't think he was saying it in a negative way, but I think he was saying it for me to recognize that I need to wake up, that these people are not your friend. I have so many friend betrayal stories. One of them landed me somewhere I'll never want to go again— Hazen Street. But that was because I was naive to the fact that this person hated my guts. Right? And I didn't know. Like, I'm walking around in la-la land because that's my friend, that's my friend. No. My mom even told me before she passed, she was like, Tina, that girl is not your friend. And I'm like, no, but th-th-th. And she's like, she's not. And my mom was the type to, you know, go ahead, do what you're going to do, but you're going to have to learn. And I learned being nice doesn't mean putting yourself in harm's way. Right now, I would like to switch gears and ask you guys, have you ever been betrayed by someone that you cared so deeply about? Like, what did you do? For me, it was one of the hardest things to experience, but it's also one of the most important lessons that I've ever learned. So I pay attention to the energy people bring into my life, and you guys should too. If someone shows you who they are, and if they're erratic, jealous, or toxic towards others, believe them. And here's another thing: don't carry the blame for someone else's actions. What my so-called friend did to me says more about her than it did about me. I didn't deserve that, like, and neither do you. Like, when people harm you and people snatch you and people do everything to get in your way, it doesn't have anything to do with you. It has everything to do with them. People tend to see the amazing and the greatness in you before you do. And some people want to put out your flame. Like, some people want to blow out your candles on your birthday cake. I've seen it. And you have to be mindful, and you have to use judgment. And I'm telling you guys, because still, I, I'm better at it. Like, I just— I have more discernment now today But we're talking about something that happened when I was a teenager, and I have been dealing with varying degrees of the same thing my whole life. Now, right now, I have a group of amazing friends. They're all beautiful. They're all successful. They all have been through a lot, but everything they have gone through has made them amazing and better people instead of making them bitter. And you see them, they look half their age. So it's like, I've been blessed because I'm a blessing, and I have amazing friends. If you find yourself in a similar situation, you definitely need to take the time to discern who you're around. But what's the most important lesson here? Don't let betrayal change your heart. Like, I'm still kind, I still believe in people, I believe in love, I believe in friendships. But now I'm kind and wise, and I set boundaries. I respect my solitude. I trust my instincts. You know what I mean? Like, your instincts are gold. And I protect my peace. And I take my naps. Like, I'mma take a nap. So I want to thank you for listening to my story, right? Sharing it wasn't easy, but I believe it's important to speak about these experiences because there are so many people that are going through this. Girls in high school are going through it. You know, men, our Black men, they're going through it. Our teenagers, the LGBTQ community, just life is lifin' for us. So if you've got a story about betrayal, jealousy, or setting boundaries, I'd love to hear it. Clearly, you know I can relate, so let's keep this conversation going.

Thank you for listening. Thank you so much for spending time with me today on The Trigger and the Truth. Remember, it's all about uncovering those triggers, finding the truth, and building stronger, healthier relationships for ourselves and with the people around us. If today's episode resonated with you, I'd love it if you'd like, share, and send it to someone who might benefit. Together, we're making mental health and wellness a priority. And always remember, never let your emotions supersede your intelligence. Take care of yourself, be kind to your mind, and until next time, let's keep uncovering truths, one heartfelt conversation at a time.