Still Spending Money From '88: When Jealousy Cancels Your Check and Your License

Welcome to the Trigger and the Truth podcast. I'm your host Tina White, and this is the space where we take a deep dive into the complexities of relationships— romantic, family, friendships, workplace dynamics, and of course entrepreneurship— and how they intertwine with our mental health and wellness. As a dedicated Tina White, mental health advocate. We don't just have conversations. We lean into the hard truths, peel back the layers, and journey together toward understanding, closure, and personal growth. More than ever, we're on a collective mission to find peace, clarity, and healing. This is your safe space to explore the moments that shaped you, discover your triggers, uncover the truths, and find the healing you deserve. So whether you're searching for solace, insight, or a fresh perspective, you're in the right place. If this is your first time tuning in, welcome to the conversation. I'd love for you to like, share, and pass this along to someone who might need some encouragement or insight. Now let's dive into today's episode and start this journey into self-discovery and wellness together. Welcome back to The Trigger and the Truth. I'm your host Tina White, and today we're diving into another chapter of the Rewind and Rise series where I take you behind the highlight reels and into the real beginnings of my journey in New York City real estate. This episode is called Still Spending Money from '88, a nod to the pettiness power plays, and politics I faced as a rookie agent trying to find my place in an industry that wasn't built for me. I'm talking about the kind of sabotage that comes not from competitors, but from inside the room, from women you expect to mentor you who instead see your ambition as a threat. We're rewinding to a time when I was still learning the game, brokerage to brokerage, bouncing back from betrayal after betrayal, trying to figure out how to win without losing myself. What you're about to hear isn't just a story about real estate. It's a lesson in discernment, a warning about gatekeepers and heels, and a reminder that emotional intelligence isn't a soft skill. It's survival when your name is being whispered in rooms you never asked to be in. So let's jump right into it. Okay, let me just say this. I Recognize that I am flawed. I recognize that I have a lot of things that I need to work on, and I'm working on me. Let me be clear on that. I know that at this point you guys are listening and you're like, well, why did she join so many different brokerages and why has she associated with so many different brokers? And I just want to weave a story. Story that is not only clear from my perspective, the reason why, because clearly I'm the common denominator here, right? I'm the one who has been with so many different brokers. I have associated with them and I disassociate with them just as quickly because I feel like life is too short. I bring too much to the table to have to deal with certain behaviors. I am a team player. I'm all hands on deck. I'm cooperative. I know when to shut up. I know when to speak up. I can get into any door. I can just do whatever it is that we need to do without compromising my integrity without putting on knee pads. I know when to exit stage left. I have a heightened self-awareness. And with that heightened self-awareness, it comes with me having a very low tolerance for fuckery. And in the beginning, when I say I was naive, in green. It was ridiculous. I was a completely different person because I allowed not knowing and the newness of it all intimidate me. And I quickly had to learn that if I was gonna continue to be like that, that I would get nowhere. And once I got that license, I went on my first showing, I closed that deal. The very first showing, that gave me confidence. It wasn't a big deal. It wasn't a lot of money, but it was the first deal. It was seamless. And I learned very quickly that being at the right place at the right time, along with just communicating and cooperating, it'll work out for you. With every deal came more of a headache. With every broker came more issues. One was crazier than the other. We all have our crazy. I have mine, but mine may not match with yours. They may not mesh, right? And that's okay. I am very good at walking away, saying my goodbyes, saying absolutely not, and keeping it pushing. Now, let's fast forward. To about a year and a half into my career. At that point, I had recently discontinued my association with my initial, second, and third broker. So, at this point, I was on my fourth brokerage, you know, because I was no longer interested in getting robbed. I am old-fashioned, right? I feel like if you do some work, you should get paid. I don't know what these brokers think. You know, the thrill was gone. So back when I first started as a rookie, there was this website called Repost123. We would use Repost every day because it would automatically post Craigslist rental ads on the Craigslist site. So we didn't have to manually go in and post all of the ads individually. We could post several ads at one time. So one of the other places that Repost123 would post to was a website called Backpage. I know you guys are familiar with Backpage. I'm familiar with Backpage now, but I wasn't prior to this. So one day I'm searching the classified ads on Backpage. Don't laugh. That was my first mistake. I was desperately looking for a real estate company to associate with outside of Manhattan. Because I needed a break from the bullshit. I was over the city, and I never thought I would say that. I love Manhattan. I love New York, but the real estate industry is a different world, and I was over it. Anyway, I found a very reputable-looking ad for a boutique brokerage, and they were looking for a licensed agent, a newly licensed agent, right? So I fit the bill, and it was in Queens. And it was in a convenient location. I was able to drive there. If I didn't wanna drive in on any given day, I could take the train, I could take the bus. So it was easily accessible. This July on The Trigger and the Truth, we're discussing what it takes to build a business and protect your peace at the same time. From burnout in silence to emotional triggers in boardrooms, we're unpacking the mental health struggles entrepreneurs face but rarely talk about. If you've ever felt like you're breaking down while showing up for everyone else, this series is for you. New episodes dropping weekly. So what the ad failed to mention though, is that there was a reason why there were no other full-time agents other than the broker's wife. And she was also the associate broker. There was an admin/spy And then there was a part-time agent. She worked at night, I believe. So to be perfectly frank and to be perfectly honest, the associate broker, she kind of frightened me a little. She resembled the Crypt Keeper. She was just so creepy looking and just— she just had a very negative vibe from the beginning. You know, she was the type to, like, stand outside your door with a cup to listen in on your conversations, allegedly. But she had to be like 65, 70 years old. So she was my elder. So with that comes a certain level of respect. I was raised a certain type of way. So, you know, I understand that elders, they have this thing where they say whatever they want, you know, a little bit at a time. So I just disregarded a lot of the stuff that she would say, but she just started to get a little disrespectful. And you know, I'm definitely not into drop kicking the elderly, so I attempted to stay out her way. Like, I really tried to stay out her way, but it didn't quite work out, right? So the initial interview, it went very well. I signed an ICA, which is an independent contractor agreement, and I began immediately. Now, there was no computer. I had to bring my laptop. So I brought my laptop and I familiarized myself with the office. As well as the way of business there. And I specifically asked about the split and how it's calculated and all of the questions that I implore you guys to ask, I asked, cuz at that point I'm on brokerage number 4, right? So they used the regular 50/50 method and I really had no pushback on that because I was still a rookie and I just said, no problem. So I took a deep breath. And I proceeded to start all over again. Again. Because the truth of the matter is, every time you join a new brokerage, you're pushing the reset button on your career, right? You are starting over. You have to learn new rules, the new lay of the land, the new everything. Interestingly enough, the office was the exclusive broker on a new condo development in that neighborhood. So being the go-getter that I am, I learned more about that condo building and I set my sights on it. So I previewed each unit as I was taught to, cuz I knew that you have to preview the unit, you have to know your product. So I previewed every unit, all of the rentals and all of the sales, and it was a mixture of both, right? The rentals were anywhere between $1,900 and $3,500 a month. They went from studios up to 3 beds, and then the sales options were from the low $400s to the high $600s. So I then proceeded to conduct open houses. I advertised. And I began to build interest in the building. So in no time, I began closing rentals, and then I received an offer to purchase a 2-bedroom unit. That was super exciting for me because that would've been my first sale because all of this time I had been doing rentals. However, hmm, that excitement was short-lived because shortly after I submitted the offer to purchase to the broker, I received an email from said broker stating that my services were no longer needed. So, I'm like, well, why don't you need my services anymore? I just sent you an offer for one of the condos on the building that I've been working and running around like Flo-Jo for the past month. But before making any false moves, I logged onto eAccess. So what's eAccess? At this point, if you guys are pursuing getting your real estate license, you definitely know what it is. But, you know, the short answer to that is eAccess is the occupational website that we use and it houses our license information. So the Department of State, you know, they are the ones that monitor our licensing and the website we go to check on the status of our licenses. If we are changing brokerages to renew our licenses and all of those different things, you would go to eAccess, right? So I checked eAccess and the status of my license said cancel. I was like, what the fuck just happened? Like, I literally said that. Like, I didn't say WTF. I said the actual words, like, what the fuck just happened? And I'm like, wait a minute. Why did they cancel my license? Like, I just submitted an offer for one of the condos.

Well, You know, to make a long story short, to tell the truth, let's unpack a heavy bag that's been bursting at the seams. We owe it to ourselves to hold ourselves accountable, owning our part in the breakdown of a relationship. One of us might be a narcissist, or maybe both of us. Are you willing to tell the truth about your role? Did you burn sage only to pass out from the fumes? Are you perhaps the root cause of the problem? I'll go first. If I'm being honest, I can be problematic when my buttons are pushed or when I feel my boundaries have been crossed. God is still working on me, and that's why we're here. I'm taking this journey with you because I need healing just as much as anyone else. I've had to confront my own tendencies. I've realized that in conflict, I almost always become an avoidant. I shut down, walk away, and don't look back. That's not healthy. So here's the question. Can you face yourself and admit to your part? The first step toward healing is honesty.

The broker's wife, she didn't like me. And I'm guessing, I can only guess, I'm only surmising that she did not want to believe that this little brown girl, this little rookie, had made a sale on a condo before she did. And I believe she convinced the broker to drop my license. Which relieved them of their obligation to pay me. You know what I mean? Because once you are no longer associated with a broker, and it didn't actually go into contract at that point, it was just an offer. So eventually it would've went into contract. I did find out that that buyer, they bought a condo in that building. So, you know, I feel like she convinced, and when I say she, the associate broker who was the broker's wife, she convinced him to drop my license. Now, after a few weeks, I had to take them to small claims court because I had rental listings that were closing. So I had already earned that money. They didn't want to pay me though. Like, I had to keep asking them for my money, keep asking. So I had to go down to the Queens courthouse and file a small claims case against them. They would not pay my money. I guess they thought I would just go away. You know, after all, I was a rookie. I had so much to learn and blah, blah, blah. And as far as the sale, I left that alone because there was really nothing that I can do. The buyers, they put in the offer, but my email was cut off. I had no way to communicate with them because the email that I was using was the email assigned to me. Through the brokerage, which is another thing. Let me give you guys a word of advice. Whenever you are joining a brokerage, use your own email address for everything. Do not use the company email address because of several different things. If you are cut out of a deal, if you are let go for no reason, you no longer will have access to your emails. And then you don't know what's going on. So I didn't know what's going on. I didn't know that I should have done that. I had no clue. And it was definitely a lesson learned, you know what I mean? And the moral of the story is that I really had no interest in pursuing the matter with the sale because I had no real recourse. They put in an offer. It was with me. It was my sale. I was the one that showed them. I ran around the building with them. I went back and forth. I negotiated the deal with them. They put the offer in with me, but as soon as that offer was put in, that broker disassociated my license with their brokerage. So I had no recourse. And then the wife slash associate broker, she never really warmed up to me. And like I said, I had attempted to stay outta her way, but I wasn't there long enough for her to dislike me. I had done nothing to her to dislike me. But clearly my presence must have bothered her. And I even began working from home in an attempt to stay out her way because I felt that energy. I felt like she didn't like me. I felt like she would say little things and I'm like, I didn't understand where that was coming from. I had dealt with a lot of things in the industry, but that wasn't one of the things I dealt with. And I just didn't understand. I dealt with stuff like that in high school. Now here it is, this lady is in her 60s, 70s. I don't really know how old she was, but she was my elder. So I stayed out her way, but clearly I didn't stay out of her way enough. And then every day, any conversation that would come up, she made a big production about producing $250K one year back in the '80s. Have a story to tell, a truth to share, or a perspective the world needs to hear? Call or text the Trigger and the Truth hotline at 718-422-7277. 744-405-538. Want to be featured as a guest or explore how your brand can support the mission as a sponsor? This is your invitation. Your voice matters. Call or text 718-440-5538 today. Every chance she got, she mentioned it. Obviously, I must have exhibited some kind of ambition because the minute I started closing deals, All pleasantries went out the window. You know, I understand her not wanting the rookie to blow past her. I get it. I know she'd been closing deals since '88. She probably had been spending money from '88. But damn. Like, just to cancel my association? And it truly was for no reason. From my perspective, I still till this day have no clue. I feel like that was uncalled for. But again, it was a lesson learned and I just kept it moving. I say all of that to say that there are things that are gonna happen in this industry to you guys and it's gonna blindside you. It's going to make you feel like you're a failure. It's gonna make you question everything about yourself, about your business, whether or not you should stay and whether or not you should continue on. And I tell you, if this is something truly in your heart, your desire, something that you know that you wanna do, continue to pursue. You can't let things like this happen and discourage you. This was a very discouraging thing because I worked very hard on that building. I built a lot of buzz. I advertised because one thing that I did learn when I was in Manhattan, I learned how to get leads. I learned posting all day on Craigslist, even though it's pricey, it's a way to gain leads. I figure out other ways to, to post. I figure out other ways to gain leads. I, you know, cultivated relationships with a lot of people with other real estate brokerages. I had my plan. I would do newsletters, text message blasts, like I had a plan to build a customer base. I had a plan to build my own sphere of influence and I figured it out, right? So I used those skills to gain buzz for that open house. That I would conduct every weekend so that I could start closing deals in this building. And it started to work because that wasn't the only offer that was in the works. That was the only formal offer that I had received, but I was working on a bunch of others. And then just to have my association discontinued out of nowhere, it kind of discouraged me. And for a little while, I was like questioning everything. So, I say all of that to say, don't let anything get in your way. And like I said, I give thanks for all of the lessons learned. So, that's it for today. I want to thank you guys for listening. I sincerely appreciate it. You guys enjoy the rest of your day. Juggling clients, deadlines, family, and pressure on autopilot? But behind the scenes, you're overwhelmed and still expected to keep it all together. Pick Up the Pieces is a 21-day emotional mastery strategy designed for women in business who are tired of silently breaking down while building everything around them. This isn't just a journal, it's a reset. Tap the link and grab your copy today. What you just heard was a glimpse, just a glimpse into what I experienced in the early years of my real estate career. This was one of many moments that forced me to wake up, toughen up, and emotionally level up. Because here's the truth, I didn't have the luxury of being naive for long. I had to develop emotional intelligence, not just to protect my peace, but to protect my progress. And part of that growth meant unlearning the fantasy that every woman in your industry is rooting for you. Some are sizing you up, waiting for you to shrink. Some see your light and mistake it as a threat instead of a reflection. But let me say this clearly: your presence isn't the problem. Their projection is. And what they won't teach you in real estate school or at those glossy retreats is how to emotionally survive the isolation, the betrayal, and the backdoor politics that come with simply wanting to succeed. So if you're navigating your own version of this story, don't fold, don't retreat. Take the lesson, hold your head high, and keep building. Thank you for listening to The Trigger and the Truth. Until next time, stay emotionally grounded, stay unapologetically you, and protect your vision because they may still be spending money from '88. But you're out here building a legacy they'll never see coming. Until next time, take care of yourselves and each other. Real talk. Thank you so much for spending time with me today on The Trigger and the Truth. Remember, it's all about uncovering those triggers, finding the truth, and building stronger, healthier relationships for ourselves and with the people around us. If today's episode resonated with you, I'd love it if you'd like, share, and send it to someone who might benefit. Together, we're making mental health and wellness a priority. And always remember, never let your emotions supersede your intelligence. Take care of yourself, be kind to your mind, and until next time, let's keep uncovering truths, one heartfelt conversation at a time.