Trafficked By Blood: A Road Trip, a Wheel Well, and Betrayal

Welcome to the Trigger and the Truth podcast. I'm your host Tina White, and this is the space where we take a deep dive into the complexities of relationships— romantic, family, friendships, workplace dynamics, and of course entrepreneurship— and how they intertwine with our mental health and wellness. As a dedicated Tina White, mental health advocate. We don't just have conversations. We lean into the hard truths, peel back the layers, and journey together toward understanding, closure, and personal growth. More than ever, we're on a collective mission to find peace, clarity, and healing. This is your safe space to explore the moments that shaped you, discover your triggers, uncover the truths, and find the healing you deserve. So whether you're searching for solace, insight, or a fresh perspective, you're in the right place. If this is your first time tuning in, welcome to the conversation. I'd love for you to like, share, and pass this along to someone who might need some encouragement or insight. Now let's dive into today's episode and start this journey into self-discovery and wellness together. Welcome to The Trigger and the Truth. I'm your host Tina White, and today we're going to discuss family dynamics, um, specifically my family dynamics, because obviously I can only speak on my family and my perspective. I often reference my family because, you know, even though we grew up close, as we got older That closeness, I don't know what happened to it, right? It just kind of like disappeared. It was like it never existed. And it's like, for whatever reason, I've turned into like public enemy number one. Like, I'm the black sheep for whatever reason. And everyone has their own reasons, their opinions, or whatever it might be. But obviously, I'm only— I can only speak from my perspective. And to To be perfectly honest, I'm puzzled. I'm confused. And I want to talk about an incident that happened years ago, probably like 2013. Now, this is when I was still with my ex-husband. The twins were very young. I was renting a house with me, the twins, my ex-husband, and my auntie. She was staying in the basement, right? And we were staying upstairs. This is after I had moved back from Pennsylvania. My cousin needed some place to stay, so He came and he stayed on the couch. Okay, this is before all of the discord started between our family, so I was happy with— I was fine with it and I was okay with it. But, um, him and my ex-husband, for whatever reason, they never really got along. Like, they were cordial and they tolerated each other, but they didn't really get along. And at the end of 2013, probably like December 2013, we decided to plan a road trip to Georgia. I wanted to go down there to take care of some business, and I also wanted to see my grandmother. Now, I'm— I have a real estate license. I'm licensed in New York and Georgia. I'm not— I'm not— I don't keep up with my Georgia license anymore, um, because ever since Grams died, I just, you know, I don't even really go to Georgia anymore. But that's neither here nor there. Okay, so let me set the stage. We planned a trip to Georgia. It was a road trip. Now, I had been planning it for a few weeks. At the very last minute, my auntie and my cousin decided that they wanted to go to. So I'm like, oh cool, road trip. So my auntie, she— I think she rented a car last minute, and my cousin was driving. And so this would have been my first time— well, it was my first and last time driving to Georgia because I'm not doing that again anyway. So it was my first time driving to Georgia. So, you know, my cousin, he, he drove a lot and he was in and out, so he said, you know what, just follow up Follow us and you don't have to worry about, you know, anything. Well, get down here. We're going to take 80. I think we took 80 if I'm not mistaken. I know we didn't take 95. We didn't take any main roads. Okay. And I'm following his lead because why wouldn't I trust him?

Are you tired of overthinking holding you back? It's time to break free with the Trigger and the Truth Stop Overthinking Workbook. "The Ultimate Tool to Clear Your Mind, Focus Your Thoughts, and Take Action." Available now for instant download on our website, this workbook is packed with actionable exercises and proven strategies to help you conquer overthinking once and for all. As a thank you for listening to our podcast, use code INTRO for an exclusive 15% discount at checkout. Don't wait. Start your journey to clarity and confidence today. Visit us online and download the Trigger and the Truth Stop Overthinking Workbook now.

Okay, so we're driving, we're driving, we're driving. I don't like this drive. I hated it. So we're almost there, and I mean like maybe an hour away. We were driving into Atlanta, so the hotel we were staying at was the Georgian Terrace. So I booked a, a 2-bedroom, but when we got there, it was like a 2-bedroom suite with an extra room. It was like a bedroom too, so it was really 3 bedrooms. So my cousin wound up staying in the room with us, and my auntie, she had her own room. Okay, anyway, let's rewind a little bit. So as we're driving, like I said, we're about an hour maybe an hour to the hotel. And as we're driving, a pebble hit my windshield and cracked it. So it startled me, so I started driving a little slow. And then I was about to pull over, but I decided not to. I just kept going. But before I could even pick up my pace, so I get pulled over by the cops. So I pull over, he's like, license and registration. So I give it— give him the license and registration. I'm not there to argue. I'm not, you know, because I'm still like, damn, my windshield is cracked, what am I gonna do? Okay, so he's like, why are you driving so slowly? I said, well, as right before you pulled me over, a pebble cracked my windshield and it startled me, so I was a little thrown off. And then he was like, oh, okay, I'm so sorry that happened. He said, but listen, you have to pick up your pace because driving, doing 50 and 55 here, that's driving slow. He said, where are you from? So I told him, you know, where I'm from. He's like, no, you know, the speed limit here is 70 or 75, was a wild number. And I'm like, that don't even make sense to me if that's like the minimum, but okay. So I, I, he let me go. I didn't get a ticket or anything. He just was like, pick up your pace, and because if you continue to drive this slow, you're going to get pulled over again. I don't want to get pulled over again. But what I noticed is that when I got pulled over, my cousin sped off. Like, he just went faster. He kept going. He did not stop. They didn't stop to see if everything was okay with us. Not only did they not stop— did he not stop— him or my auntie didn't call me. So I'm like, well, where they at? But we're so close to the Georgian Terrace according to the GPS that I was like, I'm just gonna head to the hotel. I'm not even thinking about about that. They're already there. So I'm like, why didn't you pull over? I'm like, and why didn't y'all call me? I'm calling y'all, nobody answer the phone. What's going on? He was like, oh, my battery died. Some, some lame excuse. No problem, I'm thinking nothing of it. So after I checked in, I grabbed the twins. My ex-husband, he takes the car to find a parking spot. So he finds a parking spot in the parking lot or whatever, and he's grabbing the stuff. As he's grabbing the stuff, he forgot something, so he went back to the car. As he goes back approach the car, he gets to the car, and my cousin is pulling something out of the wheel well. To tell the truth, let's unpack a heavy bag that's been bursting at the seams. We owe it to ourselves to hold ourselves accountable, owning our part in the breakdown of a relationship. One of us might be a narcissist, or maybe both of us. Are you willing to tell the truth about your role? Did you burn sage only to pass out from the fumes? Are you perhaps the root cause of the problem? I'll go first. If I'm being honest, I can be problematic when my buttons are pushed or when I feel my boundaries have been crossed. God is still working on me, and that's why we're here. I'm taking this journey with you because I need healing just as much as anyone else. I've had to confront my own tendencies. I've realized that in conflict, I almost always become an avoidant. I shut down, walk away, and don't look back. That's not healthy. So, here's the question: Can you face yourself and admit to your part? The first step toward healing is honesty. So he's like, um, catches him red-handed, and it's obvious what it is, right? I'm not gonna say what it is, we don't need to get into that. But cousin, I know you're listening, and I know you know what I'm talking about. And all I'ma say is this: people always say and always think that I'm acting funny, that I'm being funny, that I'm a bitch, and I'm this, that I'm that. But do understand, this man put my family— not only my family, my children, the twins— in jeopardy. And to top it all off, I got pulled over by the cops. Now, what if the cop would have been a Top Flight Security extra and he would have been like— anything could have happened and I could have been in the situation. But not only could I have been in the situation, I had absolutely no clue And that's why I believe in God. That's why I believe in God. I know that God is watching over me and my family because you can only imagine what was in that wheel well. You can only imagine what my ex-husband saw the cousin pull out of the wheel well of my car, even though him and his mom had a rental car and was coming to Georgia But he decided, oh, I guess he must have got a bright idea and he wanted to grow a brain that day and decide, oh, I'ma get the whatever it is I'm bringing down here, but I'ma put it in Tina's car. He was moving from a completely selfish standpoint. And let me back up, so cousin— I'm not going to mention which cousin, he knows who he is. You guys can only surmise who he is, and you guys can only imagine what he pulled out of that wheel well. So cousin, I know you listening. I need everybody to understand that these violations that I've been experiencing at the hands of my family members who I grew up with, they have been consistent., and I have consistently kept my mouth shut about it. Now I know people are like, well, why now? Why is she talking about it now? You want to know why now? Because I came to a point after that incident happened with the sibling, and I went through what I went through, and I decided to go back to therapy because I had— I've always been in therapy for like the past 20-something years since my mom died, and it was in and out. There was times when I would go, it would be a steady thing, and then there was times where I would take breaks, right? And so after the incident with the sibling, um, I didn't— I didn't take a break. I made it a thing because once I decided that I'm going to therapy, that I really need to heal this situation because mentally it was exhausting. After I realized that this man was going on a fuck Tina campaign And then he was recruiting the other cousins. And I'm like, what is the purpose? And why is— why are they doing this? I was so confused. It left me puzzled. But the cousin that I'm talking about right now, that cousin, he put whatever it is that he put in that wheel well. He watched me pack my children into that car. He watched me get in the car. Had no clue. Clueless. I'm driving to Georgia through all of these states. At any given moment, anything could have happened. But do you think he cared? All he cared about was his own selfish needs. And then I used to wonder why him and my ex-husband didn't really get along, why they didn't really, you know, they only tolerated one another. It's because people see things that you fail to see. You know, my husband was on the outside looking in. My family was very close. I held, I held them very close to me, and I let— I allowed a lot of behavior that I shouldn't have. And again, like I said before, a lot of the things that I allowed, that I saw, that I co-signed, that I saw them do, that I didn't speak up about Now, can you imagine? You guys can only imagine what it is that he put in that wheel well, right? Can you imagine if I would have got caught up in that? Maybe because that particular strip of highway is known for whatever it's known for, and I have New York plates, and they like, oh, well, maybe, and they decided they wanted to do an illegal search. I, Tina White, because I was driving the car, would have been in trouble. My children would have been— it would have been subjected to them taking my kids. Anything could have happened. My ex-husband could have got arrested. Anything could have happened. And I really think about that, and I just be saying to myself, like, at the end of the day, God is watching over us. Now, the cousin is such a devious and deceitful liar. When my husband confronted him about it They, I don't know, they had a back and forth. I wasn't right there when it happened, so I don't know the word.

Are you ready to kick off the new year with purpose, clarity, and healing? Tina White, host of The Trigger and The Truth, is on a mission to break the stigma around mental health in the BIPOC community with her empowering campaign, Go Talk to the Lady. New Year, New Therapy. This is more than just a podcast episode; it's a call to action. Tina is unpacking the importance of therapy, sharing insights, and encouraging you to take that vital first step toward healing. Making 2025 the Year of the Therapist. Make sure you subscribe to The Trigger and the Truth on your favorite podcast platform and join this transformative movement. Don't keep it to yourself. Share the episode with your friends, family, and anyone who needs to hear it. And here's your chance to get involved. Do you have a story to share? A moment of breakthrough? Or even a question about therapy? Tina wants to hear from you. Send your story or questions by direct message. We will definitely get back to you. This is the year to prioritize your mental health, and The Trigger and the Truth is here to guide you every step of the way. Let's make 2025 the year of the therapist. Together we can change lives. Go talk to the lady. Healing starts now.

So when my husband came back upstairs and, you know, we had just got there and the kids running around, so I'm looking and I'm like, what's wrong? And he's like, T, we got to talk about something. He said, your folks is crazy. And I'm like, what? What they do now, right? Not really thinking, not thinking it's that serious. He was like, nah, not while the kids is up. We gonna talk about it later, but we definitely not leaving with them. And I'm like, well, he was like, Scrams and Scrams Jr. I was like, okay, no problem. I didn't say anything. I didn't question it because for him to even say anything, I knew it was something serious. I just didn't know it was that serious. So the moral of the story, and the whole purpose of me even saying this, is that me right now, today, I'm in heal mode. I'm in rebuild mode. I honestly don't care about the opinions and the noise that's going on outside. You know, I'm getting third-party, you know, feedback from what's going on out there in the streets, and I— but I don't care what, what they say. I don't care how they feel because I'm at a point right now in my life where I'm shedding all of the, the trauma, the drama. I'm shedding all of that. Like, I'm— I have no parts of it. I want no parts of it. And the reality is that the cousin put me in a real bad position. He put my family in a crazy position because anybody that know me, just like most mothers, all of my friends, you know Most of the people that I know who are, who, who are parents, like, we do not play about these kids. Like, these kids, this generation of kids, they are getting raised. They are not getting dragged. Like, they are privileged in a way that we never were. Like, these kids are going to private school. These kids are, they have opportunities that we only dreamed of. Right? Like, we are dead serious about these kids. So for this man, knowing me, knowing how I live my life— not that I'm an angel, but I do my dirt by my lonely. I'm not putting nobody in no position to get hurt. I'm not doing that. And this man put me in a crazy position knowing how I am about my children, the twins. Anybody that know me, they know. And if you know, you really know. I don't play about those kids. So for him to have put me in that position, it just— it did something to me. But again, like I said before, I've always— especially when it came to my family, I gave them a pass. I did not make them accountable for their behavior. And if you guys know me, you guys know my fam. That's all I gotta say. All I could do is laugh. It's like, it's really like a reality show. So now that we've gotten that out the way, we're gonna discuss how to deal with family and when they cross boundaries. Like, the story that I just told you guys, like, that's a real story that really happened, you know, and my cousin really did that foolishness, and I did not hold him accountable. Him and my ex-husband, they had their back and forth, and whatever happened between them, they didn't fight or anything like that, but there was always discord. But me personally, I was always, oh, that's my family, and you know, we'll figure it out, and blah blah blah blah. But when that particular incident happened, I didn't take that position of that's my family, blah blah blah. I just got silent. I didn't deal with it the same way I didn't deal with what happened between me and the sibling. And I used to think, and I used to lean on being quiet, and like there was some kind of honor in holding on to secrets. And there isn't, because when you don't confront people When you don't hold people accountable, you don't stop them in their tracks, they're gonna continue to do whatever it is that's violating you because your silence is basically giving them the okay to violate you. You have to be able to, first of all, create boundaries, and you have to be able to stick with it. My cousin put in whatever it was that he put in that will, well, that could have changed my life. Like, I might not even be sitting here right now having this conversation with you guys. Who knows what happened to my children? Because we know what happens in our community when things like that happen. My kids would have been thrown away. I'm their primary caregiver. Everything that I do in my life, and when I say everything, I'm talking about 95% of the choices that I make today, I think about them and how they're going to relate, one, to my children, two, to my mental health and wellness. And this is how I live my life, and this is how I've been living my life for the past 18 years because The twins are 18. So once you have children, your life— well, it should change. You should be able to make better choices. It should not be a negotiable. And making sure people do not cross your boundaries, that should not be negotiable either. A lot of times when I think back, because hindsight is 20/20, I really really allowed a lot of foolishness, and I, and I allowed a lot of subtle violations happen without me checking it. There was this one time— I'm not even going to talk about that, we talk about that another time— because what you guys are going to realize is that there was always this one time, like that one time at band camp. Well, there was always this one time when it comes to my family. And while love can take you so far, it's not going to stop people from doing the most egregious and atrocious things against you, clearly. There was nothing about me and my precious family that made that man think, stop and think, nah, I'm not gonna do that. Even if it's, nah, I'm not gonna do that, forget Tina White, what about the twins? But that, that thought never crossed his mind, right? So I'm gonna leave you guys with this. A lot of us are in situations now, whether it's in a romantic, a family, at a job, professional, whatever relationship, whether it's with a sibling, a friend, and this person constantly violates you. And you, in, in an effort to keep the peace, you don't say anything, but deep down you know it's wrong and you're uncomfortable with it. Stop it in its tracks. Like, stop, stop them right where they stand. Because understand, if you don't, your situation is going to turn out like mine, where it's going to get so bad that you have to cut off all communication. And like basically go retreat, because that's what I did. That's what I had to do. And at the end of the day, you guys always know my suggestion: go talk to the lady. And if you need any kind of referrals to go talk to a lady, please contact me. Thank you for listening today. I just want to thank everyone for being here with me today. Sharing this story wasn't easy, but it was freeing. And my hope is that it inspires you to confront your own truth and take steps towards healing. You got to remember, you're not alone. Together, we'll navigate the triggers, uncover the truths, and find paths to clarity and wellness. Until next time. Take care of yourselves and each other. Real talk. Thank you so much for spending time with me today on "The Trigger and the Truth." Remember, it's all about uncovering those triggers, finding the truth, and building stronger, healthier relationships for ourselves and with the people around us. If today's episode resonated with you, I'd love it if you'd like, share, and send it to someone who might benefit. Together, we're making mental health and wellness a priority. And always remember, never let your emotions supersede your intelligence. Take care of yourself, be kind to your mind, and until next time, let's keep uncovering Truths, one heartfelt conversation at a time.