25. The Gratitude Effect with Elizabeth Hamilton-Guarino

Good morning. And you are listening to Visible Panty Lines, AKA vpl, the pod. I am Janae Luciani Senna, your host. And if you've been listening, you know that these are transparent conversations of inspiration, encouragement and overcoming adversity. And I think that the dozen or so or more guests that I've had so far have all really exemplified this. But, but there's always like amazingly great takeaways from them. And so I think that's really definitely going to be the case today. So you're definitely going to want to listen because today I have Elizabeth Hamilton Guarino and she is the founder of the Best Ever U Network and co founder of Compliance4. And she helps individuals and organizations around the world be their best and achieve world class excellence with gratitude based behavior and belief systems. You hear a lot nowadays about, you know, gratitude and attitude of gratitude and mindset and how that can make you more successful in life. And she has a couple of bestselling books of course as well. So we're going to welcome Elizabeth. So I'll shut up now.

Hi, Elizabeth. Hi. Thank you so much. It's nice to be here. Thank you for having me on.

Yes, thank you so much for being here. So I've been really excited to talk to you. I think we booked this like two months ago.

Or something like that.

Right?

Yeah, I was excited to meet you in Facebook, so thank you.

Yes. And I know you do a lot of traveling and a lot of speaking and stuff like that, so you have a lot going on. But tell us a little bit about kind of how you got into this line of work essentially.

Well, so I'm 53 now. I'll be 54 this year and I have four sons who are 22, 24, 26 and 28 this year. Oh, wow. And yeah, if you back that up. Way back when I was an at home mom, I was a work from home mom. I was a mom, I was a work, you know, I was, I was all over the place trying to figure out how to juggle everything just like all of us do. Yeah. And it's. Yeah, I mean I've had calls from my walk in closet and all sorts of good things. So when. Oh yeah. When the littlest one went into first grade, like went into school full time, I was like, oh, I have an idea. I think I'm gonna get like suited back up and head out the door and go to a job and work again. And I did that. I was the vice president of a financial services firm. The thing of is, is that didn't make me happy either. I was like, you've got to be kidding me. What actually, you know, satisfies the beast here?

I'm.

I don't get it anymore.

Yeah.

And I was submerged in this environment where there were four guys. I'm not kidding. I can't make it up. Four guys fighting. And I felt like I was in a boxing ring. And I closed my door one day and I was like, I wrote down, you know, basically the plan to best ever you. The business plan. Like, there's got something better than this Best ever me. I need to be my best. And then I was like, best ever you. Hang on a minute. Best ever you. There's got to be so many people in this situation who don't want to schlep to work, but they kind of do. But they kind of don't.

But they're doing something they don't love or aren't passionate about, which is so relatable, you know?

Yeah, all of it. Every single thing you can think of. Along those lines of, you know, you know, along those lines. And for me, it was like being this, like, torn in two because I. I felt really strongly like I could not do both things great. Like I could be a great mom and a great employee. I just felt like torn.

Yeah. That's so relatable. I feel like for a lot of women, like, or it's like, oh, my marriage is going really great and the family life's going really great and the career is like, blah. Or the career is going really great and marriage is like, I'm fighting with my husband. Like you. It always feels like that it's never both of those things at the same time.

Yeah. And so I'm on a quest for the past, I don't know how many years now, since around, you know, early 2008, to help people really find, like, comprehensive success, comprehensive well being, you know, success in every area of their life and not have those dramatic tugs and dramatic, you know, discrepancies in one area of their life. And I think that's really important to have that really well rounded kind of success. If you can. If you can learn how to. How to do that.

That's so true.

So here.

So now, here you are at this crossroads. You have your kids, you started this career, you come up with this idea. What happens next?

So I quit my job right on the spot. Oh, wow. That's something I completely recommend. I kind of like that, though rather dramatic in moments. I came home, told everybody I quit my job, you Know that kind of moment, they're like, wait, what? Yeah. And they were all pretty cool, actually, but it was like, whatever, you know. And so I went up the street to my friend who I know is like dabbling at this time in like graphic designs and websites and all this stuff. And I'm like, hey, I need a website. And I don't really know what that, how to even do that, you know, kind of thing. I've learned how over the years. So I can do websites and all that stuff now, but at the time. So we, we registered besteveryou.com, put up a website. I interviewed my best friend from kindergarten who had a baby business from her kitchen table. Wow. And, you know, so I put the trust in there, you know, people I trusted to help me, and off went.

Wow.

Yeah. Yeah, it was, it was a lot. Yeah. And it was, it was cool too, because, you know, I didn't. I. I loosely wrote out a business plan. You know, like, this would be cool if we had some books and, you know, but there was no, like, I'm gonna have a podcast and a radio show and at some point I'm going to interview Ed Asner. And you know, there were no, There were no wide. It took me in so many different directions and stuff. Still does. Like, yesterday I was on the phone with the, the owner of the Savannah Bananas, which is a really popular baseball team right now. Yeah. And they're like the, the, you know, they're like a baseball circus. Kind of like almost like a Harlem Globetrotters of basketball.

That's so cool.

You never know. Yeah. And, and so you, you get, you know, if you're, if you're open to it and you're open minded, you know, without letting it carry you. You know, there's some parameters and so forth, but you can really do some cool things in life if you, if you're open to it.

So with that in mind, your book, the Change Guidebook. How to align your heart, truths and energy to find success in all area of your life. So what are, what are some of, like the, the things that you. I mean, obviously I would say bullet points. Like, what are some of the things that, you know, we can't. We want them to buy the book and, and read and read, you know, read the book. But what are kind of like the. I guess what's the crux of. Of this. How to make this change.

Yeah. So, you know, I, I love people who read, read the book and buy the book. But what I really want you to do is like, hug the book and make it your best friend because I. Yeah. Hug the book. And you know that that's where, where I really want people to, to be with it. Because it's your best buddy, if you would allow it to be. Because it's going to teach you a topic that is so, so dang tricky. And that's the topic of change. People fear it, people are paralyzed by it. Some people embrace it and love it and it's all over the place. And so I'm trying to change the narrative on the topic of change. And so I wrote a book that'll meet us all in these moments where you don't know what to do next or something's happened and you don't know how to navigate it or whatever that moment is. This book meets you right there and helps you move forward and, and that's really where my heart is with the book. What the book is about is a 10 point plan to help you learn how to navigate change. And the entire book is actually a masterclass. Like if you want to, you can add that to your resume. And I think it's important to talk about the structure of the book. The structure of the book is not me yapping on and on and on. There's a little bit of yap from me at the beginning of each chapter and then two. There are stories from two people in each chapter. So people have contributed. So I didn't want people to like, feel alone.

Yeah.

Navigating change. So we got examples. So the contributors showed up brilliantly, including our youngest son. And then it's got two exercises at the end of each chapter. So if you, if you like to, you know, think about things and need to write things out or whatever that process is for you, it definitely helps you learn as you go.

And that's so true. You know, like change for, for the most part for people really can be frightening.

Yeah.

Like probably many of our listeners heard you say, I just quit my job on the spot. And they probably had like that a panic feeling, you know.

Yeah.

You know, it's like one of those things that, oh, I would never be able to do that or I would never think to do that, you know. And I think it does take some amount of, I guess, bravery to be able to make a change in your life, whether it's your personal life or your professional life. But talk a little bit about how, like, I'm very into mindset and the law of attraction and kind of more spiritual aspect of it and the attitude of gratitude, as we like to say. Is sort of incorporated in that too, but is also incorporated in what you do as more, you know, working with corporate people and kind of, you know, concrete sort of plan. So tell me about how gratitude can help us be more successful.

Yeah, it's one of my favorite topics. So I'm a human being who's been resuscitated a couple times because I have life threatening food allergies on board.

Oh, wow.

I developed life threatening food allergies in my late 20s and I'm in my mid-50s, so I've had them for a while and navigated those and tried to stay alive and thrive and do my best. And what happened there is. And this is written in my first book, Percolate. Let your best self filter through. For a long time I was feeling like a victim until I wasn't. And those moments were something that my dad taught me when he was in a stroke rehab facility. And in, in some of the moments he was having, I was like, oh, I get it. Okay, so we're gonna, no matter what is happening, we're gonna, we're gonna apply gratitude. And I was like, that is really hard to do because this sucks. You know, kind of.

Yeah.

And you have these moments where you're like, grateful. God, I'm just trying to survive here. Grateful. Okay, right. Attitude to that. Oh, you know, let me think here. And so it took a really long time for me to. To shift from like, oh, woe is me too grateful in every moment where it's like a part of who I am. And I did that shift by doing what everybody does, like pounding it into your brain. Like, I am grateful. I am grateful. I am grateful. I am abundant. I am happy. You know, all those affirmations and all those. I call it like a gratitude flip where you take the situation and truly you try and find the best in it. Okay? What I say, like, if you got something going on, look for the glimmers of hope. Look for the little, the even the slightest ounce of energy that's positive, whatever it is, to flip the script because otherwise your brain's going to go all negative on it and you don't want to live there for sure. You want to be in, in a grateful, abundant mode. And so, so that attitude of gratitude in every moment of your life, because here's the thing, we are not entitled to time. And once you really understand that you're not entitled to time and you can pull in that gratitude combined with that, it's a really special world you're going to be in.

That's so true. And sometimes like a situation can seem or feel so dire that it's really hard to find. So it does take, take work, I think, and sort of like training, even.

If I could go as hard as that does. And it's, it's hard for people to apply that to every single thing going on in the world. You know, people think that, that it, you know, something that they've got going on is, is way worse than something other people have going on. And there's some terrible situations and. Yeah. So when you hear somebody like me say apply gratitude, that's tricky for people. Yeah, I really do mean to apply gratitude. I mean, I've been, I sat with my mom in a very dire, many dire situations with my father and family. My father was a ICU stroke warrior from 2004 to 2018 and we had to figure out how to navigate that. And there are a lot of people in situations like that, medical situations, financial situations and so forth. And if you can grab onto that just glimmer of gratitude and go all gratitude on it, you'll be in a better spot, I promise you. It's so true.

Yeah, it's hard. I think it's hard for people. Are there any exercises that they can try to get themselves kind of in that mindset or.

Yeah, there's a ton of them in the book and there's a ton, you know, BestEveryou.com kind of exists for that to anchor people and root people in gratitude. If you can your life in gratitude and frame your moments in gratitude, I think that it's again, something to learn and that's what I really work with people on in coaching. I have all sorts of exercises and things that we do to help your brain think that way on autopilot. Like I kind of call it like gratitude on autopilot. How do we go from like writing down everything we're grateful for to just being a grateful human? And I would say, you know, the best thing there is practice. Do more of what you do in your gratitude. Practice every single day. And it might take a year, it might take a year and a half, it might take you a few months, but your brain catches on.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It is almost like training your brain, isn't it?

It is, yeah.

Differently. Especially if you're, you know, middle aged or however many years you've been on this earth and you are so conditioned to write to thinking a certain way and being a certain way. And yeah, you have those people. Like I did an article on those, you know, energy vampires and people that are like just lit, you know, existing in a negative bubble and a bubble of negativity. And it's like you have to teach yourself the tools basically to avoid those people to, you know, see the best in the situation. And I mean, life is gonna throw lots of ups and downs at you and you have to still just have that, maintain that. Or else, you know, once you start to fall down the rabbit hole. Yeah, negativity, then, you know, you're, you're kind of like gone and it's hard to get back.

And that's, and that's why it's important to understand, you know, people, people do that because, you know, they're, they, they forget we're not entitled to time. So it really comes down, it boils down to, you know, how are you spending your moments? Are they positive or negative? What are you going to do with your energy? Is it going to be positive or negative? Are you going to be grateful or not? You have a choice in every moment of how to be.

If you can learn how to catch yourself and flip the script, that's, that's sort of the trick. And that's, that's kind of what I teach in, in almost everything I do is, you know, being your best in those moments. But I also think, you know, I, in the book, I write endlessly about heart, truths, energy. Heart, truths, energy. You'll hear me say it all the time.

Yeah.

And I think that, I think that one thing that people do a lot of is overthink things. I think we're in our heads thinking about things all the time. And so I love to help people shift from brain based thinking, which, you know, serves its purpose of course, and shift to heart based thinking and you know, kind of put your hands over your heart and think with your heart. And you know, when you do that, it allows other things to kind of present themselves. Your authentic you, you know, your truths, how you're spending your energy. And I, I just, I do really believe it wasn't just like some tagline I came up with for a book. I do really believe that when you think with your heart, when you show up authentically and when you understand that you're going to go where you place your energy, like just about anything is possible. Those things need to align though, right? That's what creates the success in your life. You know, when they're, when they're out of balance, when you're doing something but your heart isn't in it or when you're, you know, when you're not showing up authentically you, and you're overthinking, you know, that they're all out of whack. And so it's important to go about it, you know, heart, truth, synergy all day long. And the catch is also the rooting in gratitude. So it's kind of like a. It's kind of layered a little bit. But with my clients, I like to anchor them in gratitude for sure.

Yep.

And talk about the time management aspect of everything and then go heart, truth, energy on everything. And I think we back that up as a human being and go, oh, wait a minute. Okay, so I'm not entitled to time. Okay. I really want to root my life in gratitude. So when I'm presented with something, I have the right perspective on it. I want to think about things and go from, you know, my heart. I want to show up authentically me, because the world needs more of me authentically, not anybody else, because we're all such unique, wonderful creatures. And that I'm going to place my energy in ways that is going to, you know, serve me. And those are just wonderful things. And that. That keeps your mindset going in the right direction.

That's so true. That's so true. Like, I feel like I'm pretty well trained in staying positive and that sort of thing. And, like, that's my personality too. But, like, I found myself really, you know, going in that downward spiral of everything's going wrong or whatever.

That though, you know, we're all human.

I know. I know. That's true, too. It's like almost just remembering, too, like, it's okay if it happens. Just get yourself the hell out of it. You know, don't wallow in it or stay in it, because it's just going to keep getting worse and worse and like. Like attracts, like. So you're just get bringing on more of that stuff. Yeah. And like tormenting yourself for no reason, really.

Well, you know, the. The thing of it, too, is I like to be well versed in different tools that'll, like, serve me. So, like, the Change Guidebook is like a tool for your best life toolbox. And I think, like, the more you know about topics such as change or success or forgiveness or healing or mindset or law of attraction or whatever it is that, you know, strikes you, you're more equipped to deal with those negative situations.

Yeah.

Whether they're external or internal. Right.

And like you said, it's about having a toolkit or a toolbox, you know, because then you can kind of reach in and. And Utilize the tactic that you learned, you know, to kind of get through something. And if you don't have those tools, like, how can you truly be happy and successful in life without kind of arming yourself with those tools? So I think that that's super important. And I'm a huge reader myself. Besides being a writer, I'm a reader, but that's really my favorite thing to read about or like, you know, ways to just improve that aspect, especially mindset. Mind over matter really is everything, in my opinion. So this has been super informative, I think, and we could probably do a whole other one with you. I know you have a big following on social already, but maybe we can get you a few more followers. So where can listeners find you on social media?

So I hang out on Twitter a lot. I'm at best ever. You on Twitter. And I hang out on Facebook, probably even more. There's a little blue check by my name.

It's my full name.

Elizabeth Hamilton Guarino. I think it's the. The address is Elizabeth Hamilton G. So you don't have to figure out how to spell Garino. And, you know, other than that, besteveryou.com I'm, I'm around. I'm on LinkedIn, you know, I'm. I'm everywhere. I. I'm trying to figure out Instagram a little bit better. I'm even on TikTok, believe it or not, at my age. So, you know, why not? I like TikTok, actually.

Yeah, you could do little, little blips of. Of advice, basically. And they. People, they'll love that on TikTok.

It's funny. That's not what my TikTok is at all. My TikTok is seashells and animals and birds and just about everything else. And a little bit of my books here and there, but it's like little places where I'm traveling or seeing things or whatever. Like, I just. We. We spent the winter in South Carolina and so we were on the beach a lot, so we were talking about starfish and all sorts of good stuff. Yeah.

Instagram. Well, listen, the TikTok community loves advice and learning. They really do. So I've noticed.

Yeah.

So get on that.

I will. I'll get on it. Yeah.

Probably love you if you. If you talk about all this stuff. And thank you so much for joining me today. I know you're a busy woman, so I appreciate your time and we'll definitely talk again. And you've been listening to Visible Panty Lines, the podcast new episode drops every Sunday at 8am thanks for tuning in.