E3 - Cody Renegar - Celebrity Hairstylist and Author

Hi, I'm Janae Luciani Senna, and you are listening to Visible Panty Lines, AKA vpl, the pod. Transparent conversations of inspiration, encouragement and overcoming adversity. And that's pretty much what my guest today has done. Really built an amazing career for himself, coming out of sort of a tumultuous childhood, really, and then building this great career and having a family life and just doing all these really cool things. So I don't want to tell too much. Cody Renegar is a celebrity hairstylist, a list talent. Gwyneth Paltrow, Marie Osmond, Carson Kressley, who I've worked with a bunch of times. Really great guy. Just worked with him a couple weeks ago on, on Wendy. Wendy was ending and author of the memoir Changing the Stars. So Cody spent several years in the foster system, wrote about it in this recently published memoir, which is a compelling true story about how he as a boy survived and then overcame his family's multi generational cycle of violence, neglect and abuse. And despite the odds against him, Cody grew up and became a loving father and husband, successful hairstylist and respected artist also. Welcome. Cody. Hi. Hey.

It's so great to be here.

How are you doing? Good.

Yeah, life is good. You know, surviving the pandemic.

Yeah, right. As we were just talking about, I just had a little, a little rough ride with that myself.

So I don't even know where to start with you because I feel like there's so much. So you've written a book, you built this amazing career as a hairstylist. How did you sort of, I guess, get into all of that to.

Into being a hairstylist? Yeah, well, I've always been an artist. I. I had some amazing advice when I was younger by a lady. I used to volunteer at this nursing home after school every day. And this lady gave me this advice. This lady I just go sit and chat with. She said, write down everything that you know you want out of your job. Because I was 17, I had no idea and all, everything you don't know. And then just write that on piece of paper and carry that with you. And every time you think of a job, run over that, that list. And it took me about two weeks of doing that. And then I went to get my hair cut once and I went outside and I pulled out that list and it was absolutely everything on the list. So I drove straight from there to hair school and it worked 27 years later.

Wow. So how did that turn into being a hairstylist for all these major celebrities?

Well, I started I originally went to barbershop school, so I thought I. Since the person I had cut my hair was a barber, I thought, well, that's what I want to do. So I went to barber school, and then my barber instructor actually pulled me aside one day and said, you know, I think that you have more talent than just being a barber, like, in an old barber shop. And so he kind of gave me coach. He said, you can either sit down on the ground and cluck with the chickens or sort the eagles. I don't know if that metaphor works, but it worked. And I feel like I just decided that at that point, there was no end to this. And I want to go straight to the top. And I'm not quite there yet, but I don't know. I guess that's relative.

We never are. We never are, right? So I'm sure, like, our listeners would be super interested in, you know, how you transition. Like, people are always asking me, like, okay, so you went from being a producer to being on national tv, and you, you know, went from interviewing celebrities to being interviewed, like, that sort of thing. Like, how did. How did it start for you with. Were you just suddenly, you know, in California and introduced to celebrities and, like, how did that all happen?

I was a cutting director for Aveda out of Minneapolis, and I was working at this salon in Arkansas, and they would send me to different places to teach classes, and Veda sent me to California one day to teach a class, and I never came back. I just. I went home and I sold everything. I was like, the weather's perfect. The city's beautiful. I fell in love with the city.

City.

I went home, sold everything I had and kept one suitcase and moved to California. And I didn't know anybody. So the first day here, I ended up meeting, like, five people that are still today, 20 years later, some of my closest friends. And it just was kismet. I just never said no. I took every opportunity that I could possibly seek out and just kept climbing. Three weeks later, I was working on Rodeo Drive. I was on the red carpet. I was like, that's amazing. Thick of it all. It was so fun, and I loved every minute of it, so I stayed.

That's awesome. So are you still. Because I know now you. You have all these other things that you're doing, and you're working on projects that we'll talk about, too, but what's your hair career now at the moment?

I've stopped being. I used to be. That salon was Jose Bear on Rodeo, and then I went to Kristoff, just behind that. And then I ended up where my clientele had grown so much that I was literally losing money by going to work because my celebrity clients and my. My industry clients would call me out of work to do their hair. So I just stopped being in a salon about five years ago, and now I just travel privately with my clients.

That's amazing. So what's, like, the craziest experience that you've had in your life? I'm sure there's tons of them, so.

Yeah, there's a few. One I like to. When people ask me that. One time I had this lady who is a daughter of a. Of a rock God. I'll just say that.

Okay.

And she actually answered the door in a kimono, like, that wasn't closed. And she's like, come on in. And I'm just like. And then she was like, I'm a hugger. And I'm like, oh, my God, you're, like, naked. And she just kept getting in. She kept jumping out of my chair and going into the shower and coming back completely naked, completely drenched. And I'm, like, trying to blow dry, like, thinking I'm going to get electrocuted. And it was crazy. I put color on her two times, and she just kept jumping up. She was obviously not all there, but she. That was pretty intense.

That is so crazy. I mean, especially, like, when you're doing something, like, when you're in the beauty industry and it's so subjective, and then you're dealing with, like, clients are always difficult, Right. But then, like, you have this whole other level of clientele in that they are, like, really particular because they have a public image to withhold or whatever.

Right. And sometimes they're a little disconnected. So from, like.

Right. So how do you deal with that kind of challenge?

I look at it as an adventure. Every time I walk up, I knock on the door, I sit, Someone else sits in my chair. It's just a new experience, and I'm always. I'm always present for it. I'm always showing up. I just expect the craziest thing to happen, and that way I'm never surprised.

That's a really good attitude right now. Right? It's like, don't have any expectations or expect the unexpected. Like, that's the best advice.

I love it. I love it. And the crazier, the better. It doesn't face me one bit.

And me, like, in my career as an author and as a, you know, fashion and beauty editor and everything that I do, I love, you know, People are always asking for tips. I love to give people tips. So since you're the pro, what are some of your top tips that, you know, you could give to our listeners who are looking to, like, you know, have a list hair?

I think that if you could just kind of really, today's world of tick tock and Instagram and everything, I think if you can perfect your own personal blowout, I think that's. That's a big thing. I mean, you can really take a bad haircut and give it a beautiful blowout, and that will camouflage anything. So. So I think just use your tips. It's all about multiple sections. You know, use whatever tools you're comfortable with and just keep playing. But I think you could really take a bad haircut and make it look good with a great blowout. So my best tip is perfect. Your personal blowout.

I love that because I. I'm terrible about blow drying my hair. It's like the one thing that I just like, if I run out of time, I just don't do it.

And you have great hair, so that's.

Thank you. Right, so it's like, luckily it's like pretty naturally straight and whatnot, and so it's not, like, too hard to take care of. But I think that's a great tip. So you've been very open with your childhood, with people, how you grew up. You wrote a book about it. So tell me a little bit about how that all kind of. There we go. Yes. Okay. Changing the stars, which I love. Kind of play on words there. Right? So tell me a little bit about how this all came about.

Well, just having clients in my chair, you know, all day, every day, sometimes little bits of my story will come out. People want to know who you are, and it's really hard for me to explain who I am in a single setting. So people would always ask more and more and more, and they'd always end with, wow, you should write a book. But I thought, you know, everybody says that you should write a book, and honestly, everybody should write a book. But I didn't. I didn't really take it to heart until I realized that my story had a power and a potential to change people. So. Yeah, or enlighten and help them, you know, really reach their full potential. And so I just did one day, I didn't really know where to begin. So one day, six years ago, I just sat down in front of my fireplace and just started writing one story after another. And then eventually I was able to collect those stories. Stories and Put them together. Because I'm not a writer. I mean, I had a natural inclination, but I'm not like a trained writer. So eventually I had those together. And then I had a friend help me kind of organize it and make it make sense. And then kind of, I was able to. He kind of helped me build the structure. Then I was able to elaborate and kind of color it in. And then. It's so scary to tell your story. It's so absolutely frightening. And it's a beautiful thing to be so vulnerable. So I remember the moment I finished my book, and I pushed that button, said, let's send this out into the world. I sat down, and I knew there were a lot of people that were waiting for it to launch and that we're going to about to read it. It takes, I think, three and a half, four hours to read from one end to the other. And I just sat there holding my breath, like. And all of a sudden, I started getting this outpour of messages of people crying and saying how I. I've seen them, you know, truly seeing who they are. And it's just this. Messages that are just mind blowing. So ever since then, it just kind of released me to just say, you know what? Just let people see who you are. Because we all have something. We're all absolutely human, and we all need to heal a little bit, you know, from different level. It's all relative, of course.

That is such a great message. I love that so much, and I totally get what you're saying about being vulnerable. My first book was the Bra book, which I'm probably best known for. The first edition came out in 2009. Ben Bella Books, and most people know it as a guide to finding the right bra. But I actually share a whole. My whole story in therein, where I developed as a teenager with a breast deformity known as tubular breast deformity. And it was, like, mentally really, really hard on me, you know, in those kind of formative years, like, having this challenge. And even though it wasn't a health issue, it was very cosmetic, you know, and there you are. Like, my friends were skinny dipping, and I would never, you know, they didn't understand why I never wanted to, like, take my shirt off in the locker room gym class, like, all. All sorts of things. So I remember at the time for sure. Right. You know, everything affects you emotionally, no matter, you know, what you went through in your life. And I. This was kind of a big thing for me. And so, you know, I remember people at the time were like, wow. You're like, that's crazy that you're sharing that. And I was like, you know, I feel like if I share this and if I share my story, even if it just touches, like, one person and that person feels motivated or compelled to, you know, start their own journey and they share and they heal, then. Then I've done a great service. Like, I just felt like I can help, right, in some little way.

And that's.

And I did have. Yes, I had people come up to me who had breast cancer, you know, breast cancer survivors, just all sorts of situations where they were, like, just touched by what I shared. So I think, like, what you were saying about your message and why you chose to put pen to paper, essentially, and take what was a painful, traumatic time for you and share it with the world. It is very brave thing to do and very vulnerable. You have to be very vulnerable, of course. But it also is going to touch other people and hopefully, you know, set them on their own healing journey. So have you heard from anyone yet, like, that?

So many people about certain stories like that. And one thing I want to say is that what you said about. You felt like you wanted to share that. I felt at one point that after I had done the work and I had. I'd really healed and really felt like I was at a healthy place. I didn't feel like those were my secrets anymore. I didn't feel like it was my story anymore. I felt like I needed to take what I had done and give it to other people. They say when you go through hell, you should turn around and hand out buckets of water for those who are still in it. My book is definitely a bucket of water for those that are still struggling to heal. And I think it's really effective. It's some basic points, but it's just basically about choosing happiness. With every breath you take, every small. Every big choice you make, you choose to be happy because otherwise you're choosing to be miserable. And if you don't take it within your own hands to heal yourself, then you're doing. You're a victim of your own self at that point. And you should do yourself a justice and do it for yourself and then do it for others. Because it's not my life anymore. My life is for others.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's so true. And like you said earlier, we've all had that. We all have had something or several somethings in our life that are very painful. You have to face it, you have to address it, and then, you know, maybe connect with other people via that. So I think that that's because we're.

All in the same together.

Right? Like, exactly right. We have to support each other. Right. And it's like, even if, you know, the person hasn't been maybe in exactly the same situation, they can relate in some way, shape or form. And, you know, that's what I thought. You know, for the longest time, I was so hesitant to start a podcast. I was just like, I'm so busy with my other stuff. And I just. I wasn't like that into the idea. And then it kind of dawned on me. I'm like, you know, I really love connecting with people. I really love hearing other people's stories. And then this is my way to use my voice to just continue to do that and share. So this was like, actually the perfect kind of platform all along. So then, you know, when I started. Thank you. I was like, when I started, I'm like, what took me so long? You know? Right. This is great. Like, I just love, you know, being able to hear what other people are doing and sharing and like, really it is inspiring. It is inspirational.

One thing I know that kept me from writing my book for the longest time was when people say that was I said, I don't have a happy ending. I don't have an ending to this book. I'm still pretty young at that point. I was 40. I was like, I'm still young. Who am I to write a book about my life? I don't even know what the ending is. And then I realized at one point that there's not an ending until you're done.

There's no ending.

I don't need an ending. It's about the journey. So I wrote about my journey and I wrote to help empower other people to take hold of their life.

Right. It's not like the movies where there's like this, you know, clean cut ending. Like, we're continuing to evolve. So.

So that released me to just set it free.

Yeah. Oh, I love that. So you do kind of say, though, that you do sort of have your, I guess, full circle with your family. You have a family now. Right. So tell me a little bit about your family.

Well, I have a son that I raised, and he is absolutely amazing. He's a wonderful, kind hearted, gentle, good father. He has three kids. So I'm a grandfather as well.

Oh, my gosh. Amazing.

Husb have an amazing husband who also is a great, grand. An amazing grandfather as well and loves those babies. So we have three.

I still can't believe you're a grandpa. That's like, yeah, me either.

You definitely raised my son.

Look like your grandpa.

My son was born when I was 20, and he said he loved having a young dad, like, climbing trees and playing in the dirt. So he wanted. He and his beautiful spouse wanted to be parents early. So when he turned 20, they started having kids.

Oh, that's amazing.

Gave me a heart attack, but I love.

Oh, that's awesome. So that really is, like, your happy ending, I guess, of sorts. Even though there's really not an ending for you by any means. So what are you kind of, like, hoping for next? Like, what's next for Cody?

Well, I'd love to get a bigger platform, you know, now that I've been able to do so much with my book. And also, you know, I'm in front of celebrities, people who have big platforms all day, and I've worked with them, but that's not really how this, like, works. But I think that my next thing is just to get my message out further and wider. And thanks to you, we're doing a little bit more of that today. But, yeah, I think what's next for me is just really taking my story, other people's story, whatever, just so maybe helping just all of us rise, raise our vibration and rise together. Just taking one hand after another. That's what's next in my story. Definitely. Still on the mission to empower and help people change their own lives.

I love that. So it sounds like if people buy their. Your book, what they can find is a little mixture of your story, but also a lot of inspirational advice. I mean, like, right, it's not just.

About telling my story, but my story, my book was about is just like helping you tell your story honestly.

Also helping.

I think so many people just identify as victims within meetings. A lot of people, like, within five minutes, they'll tell you they were abused, they were hurt. In some ways, someone. People want to tell you that people want to get that out, and they're looking for someone to relate and someone to reach out their hand and say, you know what? That really sucks for you. Let me tell you how to get over that. Let me tell you how to empower and then how you can reach out to someone else later. So, like I said, we're all in this together. There's no reason to be ashamed. The abuse that happened to me, I was sexually abused. I was physically abused, I was neglected. I was starved. You know, I was sold at some point. Certain things like that, that stuff was embarrassing. It's embarrassing to tell people. And I realized it's not mine. That's not my shame that happened. No, I'm not ashamed. If someone hits you at the car, I'm not gonna be like, oh, my God, I was hit with a car. No, I was hit by the train. And I'm gonna tell the world. So, you know, everybody, it's hurt. You know, your worst thing is no different than my worst thing. We're all here together. We're all arm. You know, so I think it's our responsibility once you get through, to really turn around and help and we're all rise together. Like I said, I'm still healing.

I'm still let, you know, I made.

It this far and I'll keep going.

Yeah, I believe that. And you. And also shifting perspective, like you said, you know, where it's like, it's easy to fall into the kind of the victim mentality, you know, and you're like, listen, this, this happened to me, but this isn't me. This doesn't define me. And that's been a current theme with my guests so far, which is so interesting. Like, I. This past week I had Renee Graziano, and one of the things, you know, she's mob wives, her dad was a big mafia boss in New York City, and she was profiled on the show. And like, exactly what she said to me was exactly what you said. Like, this was my childhood and like, this is what happen to me, but this is not me. And this doesn't define me. And this isn't who I am, and this isn't. So I thought, you know, that's so interesting, like, if we can kind of just help people to share their stories but not let it become them, basically. Right.

I say a lot at one point that if you're not doing that, and I may have already said this, but if you're not doing the work to heal yourself, I mean, it's a painful, slow process. But if you're not doing that work, then at this point, you're a victim of yourself. Every day that you choose to stay a victim, every day that you identify as a victim, you're just doing it to yourself. My main thing was I'm still friends with a lot of people that I went to orphanages with, I was in foster homes with, and even lived on the street was. I'm still friends with them. And I kept seeing, I travel the world, I. I travel the globe, and I'm just constantly looking for that next. Like, I want to see it all and do it all. And all these people that are still on my social media, they're like, they're still identifying at 40 and 50 years old, they're still talking about being a victim. I'm like, what are you doing? Why are we not traveling the world? That's. We're over. That's done.

Let's go.

Let's go live our lives. And so I just could not wrap my mind around the fact why they're staying there. And so I was like, wait a second. They're stuck. They're stuck. They're spinning their wheels. They don't know that there's more options. And so that's why sat down. Because I'm like, you have options. You have the choice to have the most beautiful life you could possibly have. And nothing is holding you back.

It is what you created.

Not to be a bumper sticker, but.

Yeah, no, you create your own reality. I fully believe that I practice my life that way. And you can really create your own life. I mean, you've done it. You're a perfect example coming from the background that you came from and, you know, look what you've done for yourself. So I think that that's so inspirational. So now people, if they're interested in changing a copy of Changing the Stars, they can find it on Amazon.

Yes, ma'. Am.

Okay. And then if they want to, our listeners want to follow you on just pulling up your handles here. So on Tik Tok at Cody Renagar.

That's it.

Instagram hair by Cody and Facebook official Cody Renegar.

Yes, ma'. Am. Follow me. I don't know where we're going, but we're going somewhere.

Exactly. I'm like, everybody follow Cody.

So, so great speaking with you today. Thank you so much for your time.

Thank you for this opportunity and I hope to see you again.

Absolutely. We will definitely keep in touch and keep you updated on everything. And best of luck with your book. And I still have to get my copy, so.

Yeah, let me know.

Make sure. Now I really am intrigued and really need to read it. So there's a lot.

My mom was a prostitute. That's gonna. I go from homeless to Hollywood. So you're gonna.

Oh, my gosh. Wow. That sounds like a movie.

Yes, exactly. You're amazing. I love you. Thank you.

I love you right back. Thanks so much for having me here.

Yes. Thank you so much. And you've been listening to visible panty lines, aka VPL, the pod. And a new episode drops every Sunday at 8am.

Thank you. Thank you.

See you later.

Take care. Have a good rest of your night.

You as well.

Bye.

Bye.

Okay, bye.