E7 - Bethany Hamilton - Back on the Board

Hello and welcome to Visible Panty Lines. Thank you so much for joining us. I'm so excited for my guest this week. I have the one and only Bethany Hamilton. She's someone who I'm sure you know her name and she's been an inspiration to me for many, many years. And I just knew, like, she seems like a super cool chick, so someone.

That I had to get to know.

So, Bethany, her story of determination, faith and hope has really resounded worldwide.

People.

At the age of 13, as a rising surfing star, Bethany lost her left arm to a shark attack, which most people would think, okay, this is the end of my career and what I'm doing. But she returned to surfing one month after that attack and within two years won her first national surfing title. So now she's a mom, she has a foundation, she has a whole mission. If you look at her website, Bethany Hamilton, she has a whole sort of mission to help and inspire others. And obviously there was a movie based about her and she's an author and a motivational speaker as well as she should be. So just so many good things. Bethany, thank you so much for joining me. Yeah, all the way from Hawaii.

Aloha and hope to die here. So.

Island girl.

And it's paradise, so why not? And obviously some. Probably some really good waves there, right? For. I know nothing about surfing, so.

I'm.

Still quite the mermaid. So my hair is still wet. I surfed this morning. My hubby took our children out and about to do some other things, so I got some surf and now I'm jumping on here with you. Do you.

Do you. Does he surface?

Yes, he does surf, but he grew up in Kansas, so he's, like, newer to surfing and he doesn't quite have the passion that I do, but he likes it. Like, him and I got a little surf date in yesterday morning while our boys hung with grandma, right? It was fun.

Yes. My. My two older boys surf. My oldest is like a little shredder already. He's seven and a half, so that's a dream come true for me. I'm like, you boys at least just gotta be able to ride waves and, like, handle yourself in the ocean growing up here. So I'm stoked that he has the genuine interest in surfing. And he's like, maybe we can go surf later today. I'm like, okay. That's what he said this morning. I'm like, okay, yeah, let's plan.

That's amazing. Especially like, knowing that one of your kids wants to follow in their footsteps and obviously being the spouse or the child of Bethany Hamilton, they will have to at least like surfing to some extent. I mean, my husband's always bugging me to ski, which is really not my thing. But now I am the only one in the family out of us and our four children who do not ski. So, yes, I do feel a little left out. So I would imagine they would feel left out if they weren't into surfing.

Yeah, I know. It's funny, like, I keep telling him, like, hon, you got to keep surfing. Because he, he took my 7 year old out the other day and he's like, he was kind of out paddling me, said my husband. He was like, out paddling my husband. And my husband's like, oh, my gosh, I got to like, surf more so I can just like, keep up with them. So. Yeah, I think it'll be a family affair though. We all just like, you know, love the water and I think the boys want to be like mom and dad, so.

Yeah, well, why not? Mom and dad are cool, so they. As they should be. We also have an almost 7 year old that's our youngest, and he's actually like, out of all the kids, he's the only one that doesn't play any kind of, like, organized sports. But he loves skiing and, like, just has no fear, takes right off and we're like, okay, like, we'll, you know, go with it or whatever. But, like, the only thing I love doing is skiing, so I'm like, all right. I'm very much like, as long as you have a passion, you know, something that you love and like, keeps you busy and keeps you out of trouble. Yeah, that's important.

So are you still, you're still surfing competitively, I'm assuming, or not really?

Yeah, I, I am. I'm not like full time, though, so surfing is kind of interesting. I feel like I have the liberty to pick and choose. So. But I did like, some really big events this last January and February, and then I have a big event coming up in, in December. So, yeah, it's kind of like, it motivates me to just stay in good shape and like, just keep getting in the water regardless. I would get in the water even if I didn't have a competition, but it just gives me that extra drive to kind of like make sure I'm in extra good shape to be ready for those events. So I love it. And I mean, everything kind of went wonky the last few years, so it was hard to really stay motivated to want to, like, deal with certain aspects of travel competitively. And so, yeah, I kind of stepped back. Plus, we had our youngest son, who's he's now a year and a half, so that was such a fun little journey. And. Yeah, so now, yeah, I'm just so grateful to be able to still compete, though, and, like, do some events and. Yeah, it's fun. I love it.

That's awesome. Yeah. I would imagine, like, if you're so good at something and so known for something that you couldn't really, like, ever give it up. I mean, it's not like, one day you'll wake up and say, I'm not gonna surf anymore. You'll probably be, like, 75 doing it, right?

Yeah. Yeah. Surfing is a lifelong sport for a lot of people, and so I love that aspect of that. Regardless of whether I'm competing or not, I'll be out there just enjoying the ocean and riding waves. And so, yeah, I love that. You know, there's. I did a lot of sports growing up, but surfing was the one that really, I knew would stick with me. So, yeah, fast forward. Now I'm a mama 3, which there's not very many mamas competing at my level, so that's kind of cool. I would imagine reminding women, like, hey, take care of yourself, and you can keep having fun whether it's competitive or not.

That's such a great message. Like, I think so many of us, like, it's like the balance is never there. So, like, you're either, like, so much one way. Like, I know right now I'm in very much in, like, a career, like, a busy career mode. Like, I've always been busy, but, like, busier. So then it's like, you suddenly, like, I'm not working out the way that I used to. And, like, just something goes, and it's always something that's something for you because you're not going to drop the ball from one of your kids. Like, I'm running to the soccer game right from this interview. You know, like, you're not. You're always going to do everything for everybody else, and then, like, you're the last person. So I think that's a great message, like, for all the moms out there, whatever you have to do just to, like, keep it going for you for, like, your own sanity. Right. Because, like, otherwise you'll go crazy, like, trying to do it all and be it all.

Yeah. And I think I learned a lot. Like, my mom, kind of, like, she was a super mermaid. And then after she had me, her third child, she kind of lost it. And I'm like, mom, I wish you would have just given yourself a little more time and like dedicated something to you. Because, you know, she didn't surf pretty much after she had me, just barely. And so I look at my life and I'm like, well, I want to be with my children. So I think a lot of women are probably hearing this and being like, well, she's a professional athlete and yes, I am. But my training regimen isn't as crazy as you'd think it would be, especially after having three children. I only get in the gym like two to three times a week.

And I just try to power out at least two good sessions a week and then a little dabble. And then otherwise I try to get in the ocean when I can. And then I just move with my children and make sure I'm eating nutritious in a way that supports my body to maintain its health. So I feel like a lot of it has to do with diet. And then of course you have to rebuild your core strength and other areas as well. And there's a lot of big changes. But if you're persistent and like trying to figure it out and just making sure you get at least like two little, I mean, you think you break it down like two hours a week. Like you can give yourself that even if it's just in your living room. Like you don't need all the fancy bells and whistles too. Like you could do a lot and just like your little living room zone.

That's so true. Like we put, we ended up during the pandemic putting a bunch of equipment in our garage. But since that happened, I work out less than when I used to go to the gym.

I know everyone's different. Some people really need that like motivation from someone else or like the gym. And I get that. But I'm also like, at some point, like, I personally can't drive to the gym. So I like self motivate. I just get fun music on. So I've found what works for me to try to get myself moving and. But I hear you, like having the right environment for some people is really essential. But sometimes you just have to like muster up the strength out of like, who knows where to like get yourself to move. And for me that's like music or listening to something interesting while I'm moving. And usually my one year old's crawling around or jumping on me while I'm doing it.

Right.

That's always a challenge too. Like I feel like my son's at the age where, like, he can kind of, like, entertain himself, but then he doesn't want to if I'm around. Like, he's basically up my ass.

So it's like some older boys, I'm like, this is Mama and Dada's window to give ourselves some movement. So you got to respect it. So we usually have a little firm line that's like, you guys can come join us, but this is our window. So, yeah, have it.

That's so smart. Like, that's good, too, to, like, get them thinking that way early, too. Like, it's also like a conversation and a lesson in boundaries. Like, really, too. Because you're, like, setting those boundaries. And I don't think people would necessarily think they have to set boundaries in that way with their children, because we kind of, like, tend to just let our kids, like, walk all over us and, you know, do whatever, because we'll do anything for them, obviously. But it's like a good boundary lesson. Like, this is something I'm doing for myself. I need 20 minutes. Like, you know, you need to respect that and entertain yourself. I think that's a great lesson, too, that people don't think of. It teaches them, too, for the future.

And then sometimes I'll try to either do something with them before or have something planned for after. And they're like, okay, we're gonna jump on the trampoline altogether once we're done, or go walk around the yard or go for a walk on the road. So then they're like, okay, we're gonna do something after. And then it's like a little planned out, little sesh.

Yeah, that's so great. And then something for them to look forward to so they don't feel like they're missing out on anything or you're, like, dismissing them or anything because they know that something good is coming up. So you were. You were like, kid, basically, when your accident. Do you refer to it as an accident when that happened?

Accident. That's fine.

So you pretty much grew up. You know, you kind of were a child one way, and you grew up then after this attack, having to adapt to being another way. I'm sure with your motivational speaking, it's probably centered a lot around that. Like, what is kind of the thing that you really, like, always want to share with people when you're speaking to a group? Like, what's the thing that you're like, this is what I lived and learned, basically.

Yeah. I mean, I definitely use a lot of surf analogies, so I usually talk about just getting back on your board, kind of like getting back on the horse. And I didn't know of anyone else who had surfed with one arm, and I didn't even know if it's possible. I was scared that I wouldn't be able to do it, but I was willing to try. And so I'm always kind of talking about getting back on our board, so to say, in life, and then from there, adapting. And I think regardless of whether you have some sort of difference, like, we all have to adapt. Like, the world is constantly changing, and the only way you can keep up with it is if you adapt with it. And kind of like, you can still hold true to your values or the things that are important to you, but, like, kind of making adjustments along the way and, like, figuring out how to do things differently when things change. And so I love talking about adopting because I naturally am doing a lot of, like, physical adopting in my life, just doing things with one arm, but I like to carry that over mentally. And just talking about being grateful, too. Like, I remember after I lost my arm, I was just so grateful to be alive, and I trusted that God had more for my life. And I think just having that initial gratitude really, like, kept my mind in a more positive light versus, like, oh, my gosh, my arm's gone. Which I did have a moment of.

That, but, like, how can you not?

I could have just thought of all the, like, the dark, awful, like, you know, I could have gone in a downward spiral mindset, but I was like, I'm so thankful to be alive and let's figure out what I can do. And so that really, like, propelled me forward, I think. And it definitely wasn't always easy. There was some really rough days, but I really just kind of put my head down and started figuring out how to do things differently.

I love that gratitude message and that gratitude mindset. I know that's kind of been a big thing, like, lately, too. Like, with people being more open to different types of lessons and teachings. Like, you've always had people that were spiritual and, you know, believed in the lessons from the Bible. And I'm Catholic myself, of course I believe in God. I believe, you know, in a higher, higher power and, you know, everything that comes along with it. But then you have, like, people like Esther Hicks, Wayne Dwyer, and, I mean, there's, like, the list goes on and on, and people are kind of people that may not even believe in a higher power are reading about these things and kind of feeling like, okay, there's something Bigger than me. And the message always, I feel, because I've read tons of books from all these different people and the message always kind of goes back to that gratitude message. Like the positive thinking, everything that comes from it. And the positive thinking, I feel like, can't happen if you don't have the gratitude. Like, if you're in that despair, if you're in that, like, why me? Why did this happen to me? You can't have that positive outlook. You can't put out the positive vibes. Like, yeah, you just can't. It all starts with the gratitude for what you already, I guess, essentially what you have. Right?

Yeah. Yeah. And I. I definitely like, to clarify, I. I don't consider myself an ultra positive person. Like, I'm. I kind of have a realist approach. Like, I'm. I am, like, pretty positive and like, optimistic a lot of the time, but I'm also like, have this bit of, like, realism intertwined and like.

Yeah, so.

But I do think that, like, you know, in any conflict I face in life, just initially, just like, let's think about what we're grateful for. Like in motherhood and my marriage and my work life and surfing, like, in all the things, like, just. I'm so grateful for life and I'm grateful for what I do have. And you know, of course there's challenges along the way. That's just part of life. Like, to think that we're not going to have challenges setting ourselves up for, like, failure basically, of like, being able to cope with that challenge. Um, so, yeah, I mean, I definitely, like, I like to find the balance of like, okay, I'm grateful, but I also try to check in, like, okay, could I have done whatever the. Could have approached that last situation that didn't go so well, like, in a different way, and that could have like, turned the course of that conflict or something. I just feel like there's just like I'm in a. Definitely, like in a lot of learning lately, learning season, I guess, like, especially just understanding people. And I feel like a lot of us are just ill equipped with how to deal with conflict. And yeah, I've been kind of doing this mentorship program and we are always talk about conflict for one of our calls. And that's. I mean, I've dealt with a lot of things in my life, but I'm still like, I find myself wanting to learn and just better myself and so I can better, like, love my people and support the people around me. So. Yeah, gratitude is so key though. And I agree with you in that, like, you gotta have some sense of gratitude to, like, get out of, like, the dark ruts.

Yeah. I mean, if you're looking at everything around you with a negative lens, like, there's no way to get out from that. In my experience, like, you just tend to go deeper and deeper down.

Yeah.

Instead of up. And it's like, what's been so cool about everyone that I've talked to so far for the podcast is like, every person. And I guess we've all had major things that we've gone through in our life. Some may be worse than others, but what is worse to one person? You know, I mean, it's like, all, relatively speaking, but everyone has gone through things that, like, almost killed them or, you know, should have killed them or. I mean, like, everybody's had these. These things, and, like, they all, in the end, are like. But, like, I'm here, I'm doing this. Like, I'm reaching this person. And especially, like, you being a public figure and having a platform to use that for good, like, that not only in your personal life is, like, bringing you all the good vibes, but, you know, you're then, like, putting that out on everybody else, which is amazing. Like, I love that so much. And I think that you have a really powerful message to share, and, like, people are going to listen to you, you know, So I just love that you're doing that. So you. You do your speaking, you have your program. If people go on your website, they can see everything that that's about. But now you also wrote a children's book, which is perfect because I think you have, like, this great message for kids. So it's called Surfing Past Fear. Super cute title. And it just came out at the beginning of the month, October 1st. And the description says it teaches kids how to overcome their fear as well as be resilient and adaptable when life isn't perfect.

So.

I was gonna grab a book real quick, but.

Oh, yeah, I was gonna say, I know.

That's why I gotta show my book. It's super cute. My boy.

She sent me the digital copy, so I don't have it. I have to order it.

You just went outside here? My children must have commandeered it and took it somewhere. I have five poppies around, so. And I can't. I know, I know, right?

You should have a pack of them right next to you.

Yeah. It's super cute, though. And, yeah, I think a lot of children. Well, it's interesting, like, now being a mom, I think. Okay, how am I Being an example for my children with dealing with, like, fears or, you know, scary moments. And so I actually think it's just an amazing tool for parents to have cool conversations around fears and doubts. And the story is just super cute. It's all about a girl, Olivia. She kind of, like, has a crazy wipeout and then she's getting back on her board and she's super fearful. And there's this moment where she's just like, what if? Like, everything goes wrong. What if, what if, what if? Like, thinking of all the what ifs. And I mean, I don't know about you, but a lot of us tend to do, like, the what if.

Oh, my God, I'm the worst case.

Like, no one ever pushed me as a kid, really, like, because I think my mom was kind of, like, scared of everything too. So I've never been on a roller coaster. Like, I don't ski because I'm, like, scared of being at the top of the mountain and coming down the mountain. Of course, I've never tried, like, surfing or really, like, anything in the water. The water terrifies me too, to be honest. So it's like, I feel like that is a great message and crazy that no one has really addressed it in a children's book that I've seen. Because, like, my husband is very good at pushing. So, like, for example, my daughter was 5. She jumped off the diving board. They had a higher one. There were, like, three levels. She didn't want to go off the high dive. He spent like 25 minutes, did not leave her side at the diving board, and she jumped off the high dive. And then she ended up being on the swim team and, like, all this other stuff. So.

Right.

He is so, like, he's so good at that and he's relentless. Like, literally, he treaded water in our pool for 30 minutes to get my son to jump off the diving board this past summer. And he's even more stubborn than my daughter. Like, he's so stubborn. And he finally did it. And then, of course, like, no problem. So I think, like, God put him in my life for a reason, because I, like, really am like, the opposite.

So I think it's, like, great that I have to definitely get your book and read it too. I know I told you our son is, like, about the same age as your, I guess, middle son.

I think your 7 year old would like it.

Yeah. And he's the one, like, he can be convinced, like, he was with the diving board, but he also has situations. Like, we just had a situation this past Saturday, where I took him to a birthday party at somebody's house. And they had several bouncy houses, a big slide, a sand pit, like, all this stuff that I was like, he'll love it. So the mom was like, well, you can drop him off. Go run an errand, Come back. He'll be fine. Well, and he was kind of clinging to me, and I was a little apprehensive, but I was like, if I stay, he'll probably never leave my side. I better go. Well, I come back two hours later. She said the party ended at 2. So she's like, he was in the same spot in the driveway that I left. He never moved from the spot.

So I was like, oh, my God.

Kellen, have you been here this whole time? And he's like, yes. Like, I didn't really know anybody. There are strangers here. Like, my friend so and so didn't show up. And I was, like, waiting in the driveway. And I get. They were checking up because I was like, why didn't the mom call me? But I guess they were checking on him, and they kept, like, asking him, does he want to go inside and watch tv? Like, does he? And he said no to everything. He literally did not move from that spot. So I think, like, you can think fear of, like, something major, like going surfing in the middle of the ocean or jumping off a diving board, or fear can be, like, going in the bouncy house with a few kids that you don't know in a strange part, it's like, fear. And to a little kid, it's probably so much bigger.

I think, like, that's something that's helping me with motherhood, is because I am more of a, like, go getter. I'm like, let's go through the big waves. Like, let's jump the big cliff. Like, let's do all the crazy. But I know that, like, not all my children are going to have the same approach to life. And so having that empathetic background of like, okay, where are they coming from? Like, you know, when they lose a shoe, it's like us losing our phone or wallet. You know, we're like, it's just a shoe. Like, get your other pair. And they're like, no, is my shoe. Like, my shoe is gone? Right. Like, are you serious? Can we just, like, move on and grab the other pair? Right, right. Like, maybe losing that shoe is really hard. And, you know, it's like us losing our wallet.

Yeah, it's very scary for them.

Like, that's the same with Like, a fear they have. Like, something that's seemingly small, but, like, being able to help them work their way through it and not, like, get so overwhelmed by it. So, yeah, I like the book in that it's like, a tool. And then we have a lot of games at the end and, like, some talking points, and, like, there's a little, like, moment with Bethany, and, like, I share my little. Like, you got this. Like, you can overcome your challenges. And, yeah, it was just. It's a joy to have written and to be able to share, especially with parents and knowing that all the younger children out there and Brave Books is doing a lot of really cool things. So it's fun to partner with them and their team. They're really just. They're doing things that, you know, not many of us would have thought of.

So, yeah, like, the whole concept of being brave, like, I put a picture. When I redid his room, I put a picture in there that's like an astronaut, and it says, be brave. Because it's like, I just want. I don't know, you. You want to always instill that message in your kids. Like, no matter what happens to you in life, like, you can be brave. And, you know, maybe part of it is because I was scared of a lot of things, but, you know, I did. I do. I go on national TV in front of 5 million people, like, live scary. So I tried to tell my husband, because my husband's a professional firefighter, so, like, obviously he's a daredevil. Like.

Like, he's not really scared of very many things. So, like, with our kids, it's funny because he's like, so far one way, and I'm the other way. So it's, like, always that balance, like you said, going back to that balance. So hopefully everyone will buy your book. And it's a great Christmas gift, obviously, because that's coming up. So put that under the tray.

I have a little, like, surfboard giveaway, too. So now in, like, the end of the month, if you subscribe, get my book or subscribe to the Book of the Month club, you get, like, automatically entered into Win My Surfboard. So it's one of my personal surfboards by me. So, yeah, so that's kind of up for grabs, too. And, yeah, it's just so cool to inspire children to overcome their fears. And, you know, I feel like if we can start it young, then as they grow up, they'll be able to, like, find better coping mechanisms with fear and, like, be like, okay, this is part of life. But I can do it, you know.

Yeah, exactly. I know. And it's so true, too. Like, if you look back on, like, a lot of things that have happened in your life and then you're like, okay, that was really small, like, relatively speaking. But at the time, you know, you made such a big deal about it or you let it really ruin your day or your month or your year. So I think, like, that's always a good message, too, is, like, it's maybe not as big as it seems.

Yeah.

Like the big boogeyman under the bed or whatever. You know, kids scared of, like, may really just be a mouse.

Yeah, totally.

Well, thank you so much. This has been so great. I think I can't wait to write about you and this, because I think that's one whole story. And then I think just as far as our listeners, they're going to have so many takeaways from you and your story, and you're totally, like, such a cool person that I feel like you're like someone I could be, like, friends with and text you and be like, hey, what's up?

Yeah, well, lots of love to you and your family, too.

Thank you.

Did you get everything you wanted to ask me?

I think so. Like, I was trying to think if there's anything we missed or didn't cover. I mean, do you feel like we missed any.

Anything. Anything else? I'm easy. I'm, like, so easy, so.

And obviously, people can follow you on your socials.

Yeah.

If they want to see what, like, is going on in your life or what you're doing. If they want to follow, like, where they can see you surf. That's all on your website, I'm assuming.

Yeah, I'm competing this December. You can watch me live. Compete. I think the event starts December 6th. So surfing's kind of wild, though, because you never know when we're going to run. It's not like, on a certain day. Oh, yeah. I usually post on my social, though, like, saying, like, watch me on this link. Oh, that's so cool.

Oh, so you can watch it online. You can watch it online. Oh, my God. I'm totally happy, like, follow you and get on that. And the kids would probably love it, too.

Yeah. Well, thanks so much and take care.

You, too. Take care. Thank you, Bethany. Have a good day. All right, bye. And you've been listening to visible panty lines, aka VPL, the pod. And a new episode drops every Sunday at 8am.