Cultivating Authentic Leadership through Relationship Building

Hey, this is Tim Pratt Jr. and I want to welcome you to the Student of Life Podcast. Listen, we're going to get into so many transferable truths throughout the content of these episodes that I believe God is going to use to help you apply, because he's going to reveal what's already been there the entire time. Enjoy. Hey yo, what's up?

So this is your host Tim Pratt Jr., man, and I want to come out first and foremost saying thank you all for the downloads, the shares, on the Don't Disqualify Yourself episode that kicked off the first of the year. So I really, really appreciate it. I believe God had put it on my heart for such a time, and I just believe, you know, if you be seeing— so we are seeing so much material around, you know, faithful and consistent stewardship, as well as just because God announces something in one season doesn't mean fulfillment is coming in the same season. And I just believe, like I said, faithful stewardship, consistent stewardship, as well as consistent self-discipline, is going to what help keeps us, keep us on alignment, uh, and just do making sure that we're doing the right things. You know, Jim Rohn said it best: was easy to do, it's also easy not to do. And I just love that quote. And again, I just believe self-discipline is going to be essential, uh, for so many of us, especially in the body of Christ, the faith, but as well as just life. I mean, we're seeing moral failure after moral failure. We're seeing people go in completely different directions that I believe Jesus would be going today. And that's another episode for another day. There's probably going to be some bonus content. But again, um, I just want to sincerely say thank you. Uh, keep sharing it. I, like I said, I believe God put it on my heart, and that's kind of one of the reasons why I had to reach out to the interviews I had scheduled. I was bringing on 3 at the beginning of this year And it's not that I love the sound of my voice, it's just I believe God has me in a specific area and I want to be obedient, uh, to that. Because as someone said, Brandon Clark, I believe he put up a status and he was talking along the lines that obedience moves at the speed of now. And I love that, uh, it's, it's so much revelation in that. So again, uh, man, appreciate you. I just ask that you keep sharing that episode, uh, with your friends, family, colleagues, whoever that might struggle with self-discipline. Amen. Uh, so yeah, so This episode, I want to kind of switch gears a little bit and talk about something that I was able to do a session— I was actually able to lead a session, a leadership development session at the end of the year at a ministry dealing with cultivating authentic relationship through relationship building. Uh, in other words, leadership is relationship. And there's a lot of books out there on that, on that topic, but I just wanted to kind of park here for just a little bit and just kind of read off some bulletin points that I had had. And then, you know, I'll just kind of, go into like the commentary for this episode. Uh, so again, cultivating authentic leadership through relationship building. So the bullet points was: if people don't believe in the messenger, they won't believe in the message. People don't auto-commit and follow you when they understand you, but when they feel understood. Uh, touch your heart before you ask for a hand. Before making changes, make connections. Don't always assume you know enough to make changes without Context and connection. And then some notes that put, you can be— you can only be authentic when you lead others into the values that matter most to you. Otherwise, you are just putting on an act. Ask people why they are walking away from your local church over coffee, dinner, etc. Don't judge, just listen. After a few conversations with— after a few conversations with them, have a conversation with the leadership team. So that was just like I said, some, some notes that I had, um, with this. But I kind of want to unpack this a little bit more because I want us to understand that, uh, I believe personally in the realm of leadership, especially today, the bedrock is formed by relationships. Like in the realm today, in the realm of leadership today, the bedrock is formed by relationships. And you know what, what I want us to understand is that a lot of times, uh, because we live in a knowledge age uh, it's a little bit more easier to be manipulative when our— in our leadership. And it's very dangerous because once someone recognized that, then, uh, it never was an authentic relationship from the get-go. Uh, so again, let me be clear, I'm not saying that we have to be overly transparent with everybody in our leadership, but what I am saying is that we have to be authentic and we have to have authentic relationships because I believe this is— this is a very pivotal conduit for trust, within our teams, within, and within our community, uh, as we lead today. So what does that mean? What does that mean, uh, for me? I just think it means that when I look at leadership in the context of what I do as a senior Agile delivery manager working with multiple teams and multiple people, all type of people from different backgrounds, different positions, different influence in the company, uh, my credibility hinges on the message the message as well as the messenger. So let me unpack that for a minute. I have to know, and I just believe that I have to live out my values. Uh, I can't go on here and just read a few things about Agile or read a few things about the Bible and use ChatGPT or go hijack somebody else's stuff and just give a good message. No, I have to live that because the message hinges on the faith of the deliverer. I believe that because, you know, if we sit up here and say, well, it doesn't matter who's delivering it. I mean, long as it's sound and it's true. And, and, and, and some truth in that. You probably heard people say that the devil can, you know, quote scripture, or he can, uh, quote scripture in an indirect way. Or better yet, uh, if the devil tells the truth, I still have to say amen. Um, and the truth is the truth, but it's like I'm saying, that's just someone talking. Because at the end of the day, you know deception is coming, or you know that something is going to happen that's, uh, truthfully in that dynamic, that this person doesn't have your best intentions at heart. So if the devil states true but his character is false, then if I submit up under his leadership, although I might be drawn in by his truth, it's only a matter of time before his true intentions, uh, are shown. And that's how we have to look at it. And I'm not trying to call us a devil, I'm just using— I'm a Bible geek, but, um, just to be strong. If a manipulator tells you the truth but it's in their DNA to manipulate, then it's only a matter of time for that person starts to manipulate you. If that person is really a control freak and they're trying to operate and tell messages of stewardly, uh, um, servant leadership, it's only a matter of time for they become a control freak in your life or manipulative in your life. So no, the, the person, the deliverer does matter in the long game. We can't fall for just because people can say things or craft words up. And again, we live in a knowledge age, so anyone can just spit out knowledge. But what is the wisdom? Do they have wisdom? Uh, do they have the heart of God? Do they just have the heart? If you're not a person of faith, are they a good person, a good moral person? Because I— in the world that I live in, I have to understand that I always can't talk faith, but it's going to be influenced by it. But I do believe that you have good moral people out there in the world. Now, they don't know Jesus, and that's the thing of salvation, but I'm just talking purely secular people. Secular, faith aside right now. And I'm not denouncing my faith or anything, but I have to understand that in the worlds that I navigate. So if it's not a person of faith and you say, man, I'm not, I'm not into that, I'm not into the church and all that type stuff— we know this is a faith-based podcast But just same principle applies. If you have a Judas in your work environment and this person is all about deception and you submit under their leadership, it's only a matter of time before they deceive you. It's only a matter of time for they do something, uh, because you were lured in by a good message, but you weren't— you weren't paying attention and you weren't examining the fruit, you weren't examining the character, because we can't outrun character. We can't, no matter how flattery our words are, we cannot outrun character. So I think that's very important for us as leaders to understand that no, the message hinges on the faith of the deliverer. Uh, people aren't swayed merely by just comprehension. They're not. People aren't. They're just not swayed by comprehension anymore. They're not just swayed, like I said again, by flattery words or them understanding you. They want to know truthfully, do you understand me? Have you took the time to understand my point of view? I know that you're the leader, but do you understand? And then as a leader, we have to say, hey, I was reading this in a book one time, say, I will take the time to truly understand where you're coming from, but I can't tell you that I will always lean towards that decision. But I guarantee you, I will always try to understand where you're coming from. But I'm always going to weigh that based on, yes, where you're coming from, the team and the organization or the ministry as a whole. This is true effective relationship in the thing. And you have to— you have to have patience. You have to take time because a genuine influence is not born from imposition but from empathy. It's not— it's not born from, oh, uh, hey, because I have the title now, I'm influential. No, that just— that, that just puts you in the position. But having empathy and going deeper with people and touching hearts of those that we aim to lead is what's going to really help us. As Jim, uh, as, uh, John C. Maxwell said, uh, matter of fact, where was it in my notes? Touch your heart. Yeah, touch your heart before you ask for a hand. That's what's going to lead us there. That's what's going to help us develop genuine influence when it comes to people and understanding that leadership is relationship. Or as this title say, cultivating authentic leadership through relationship building. So these are things that we, like I said, I just believe in this in this new dynamic, um, and as we look deeper into just leadership in general, we have to make, um— no, I don't want to say that because I'm about to get into assumptions. We have to really make heartfelt decisions, accurate decisions, understanding that it is not okay to assume knowledge. It's not okay to make assumptions, and it leads to a deceptive veil. It's not. We have to take the time to truly sit with people and navigate these relationships. Through, uh, conversations, through dialogue, truly taking the time to get to know people, understand people, ask where they are in life, understanding the dynamic of that person, and then try to lead them from that space. Because truthfully, man, I've literally sat with leaders like across the board and have said I wish people would just shut up and do what they're told. And I've heard this even in ministry, I've heard it countless times, not just, uh, and I'm not— I'm saying like in coaching sessions I've done, uh, from a consultant perspective as well as internally. Like, I've heard these things. Of course I'm not going to name drop, but I'm just— I'm like, wow. I mean, we live in an age now where people are bringing their whole selves to work. Even, I think it was Pandora Bread that said, in the C-suite now, I feel like we need therapists. Because these— like, you have this viral TikTok thing going out there where it's like people are exaggerating this concept of like, oh, let me get up and go make these stakeholders a lot of money now. I'm so excited. And the video went viral because, like I said, it's an exaggeration of like, this is what we get up for, to make a lot of other people rich while we suffer. So when you have this mindset going, say, oh, they don't care about me, but they just— long as I get up and make their money. Now, I'm not going to get into the dynamic of, you know, work ethic and all of that and what the previous generation did and how this generation is seeing things. But what I'm saying is that this is the mindset. So now, as a leader, how do I motivate people? How do I keep people engaged with meaning, with purpose? Not just money. Money is a tool and it's needed. But a lot of times it's going to come through our relationship, really taking the time to know the people that we're working with. Just even the slight terminology, you see the switch of stop calling people resources. People are people. Like, so when people are referred to, it's like, oh, I don't have enough resources on that. We're talking about them like they're commodities and numbers and things like that. And some people might be saying, oh man, look, we're going too far. I don't believe so. Like, truthfully, I don't. So I just feel like, hey, how many people do I have on that? But versus how many resources do we have? And resources are like things, you know, equipment, um resources available to help those people do their job is what I'm trying to say. But you're starting to see that switch, and a lot of people more conscious of their wordplay and things like that. So I just believe that it's very essential today to— when we are leading authentically, uh, we have to make sure that our actions are aligned with our core values. We do, because any— this— any deviation becomes a performance rather than a genuine leadership endeavor. Like straight up. If it's any deviation, as I was saying, if you're up under someone and this is how they're leading because they have nice words and they start to deviate from that, it was just a performance. It was just a performance. It was never genuine leadership. It was never. And that's what I love about Jesus, because even Jesus led Judas effectively. It was genuine. That was so— Judas' heart was exposed, but Jesus was genuine the whole time. So I just believe going forward in this, this day and society, uh, to foster deeper understanding, we have to invite open dialogue. We devoid of judgment. Lord Jesus Christ, devoid of judgment. Just listen, because this is what's going to be very imperative in your leadership today as you want to cultivate, uh, leadership through relationship. So like I minister said to the church, you know, sitting down for a casual conversation over coffee or something like that, as I noted earlier in the thing Lunch, Zoom, dinner, whatever it is, just a 15-minute conversation and just genuinely, genuinely listen to that person, to why those individuals, you know, whether it be, hey, I don't want to be a part of this local church anymore, I don't want to be a part of your team anymore, I'm still going to go to the local church, I don't want to be a part of this company anymore. Just take the time to really understand from a non-judgmental heart. And I, I believe truthfully this will serve as a great stepping stone when it comes to our leadership, especially our leadership, uh, authenticity. And this will help us connect and understand perspectives, to go deeper with people. So in essence, man, what I would like to just say to really challenge us in this area is that authentic, really authentic leadership will find its roots in genuine relationship. Authentic leadership will find its roots in genuine relationship. Because this is what helps us resonate with our values that underpins our core, like straight up. So as leaders, let's make sure that we are fostering an environment. We have to really make sure that we're doing this because I just believe that leadership helps set culture, it helps determine, it helps cultivate culture. So we have to foster an environment of open dialogue and understanding. We have to coach people that we are responsible for stewarding and leading. We have to help facilitate sessions and empower and make sure, uh, leaders on the ground, boots on the ground. Like I say, in the church, how— how you have to spend time with your leaders. You have to know, okay, you might can't do 15, 20 people if that's how many leaders that you have in your ministry of 300 people. So you might spend time, okay, let me find the strengths. I need to bring everybody together, but also I need to focus on strengths and weaknesses of others. I need to, as a leader, see what do I need. Do I need to bring someone else in Do I need to bring a facilitator or a coach in? Do I need to bring a trainer in? Do we need to read a book together and dive deeper? These are things that we have to do as leaders to make sure that we are fostering the right environment, um, to, to have that type of dialogue and understanding going forward in our leadership. Because again, leadership is relationship. Leadership is relationship. Yes, leadership is broad. I can say leadership is transformational, leadership is serving, leadership But in this context, I'm just talking about cultivating authentic, uh, leadership through relationship building. So as leaders, again, let us take some time to make sure that we are authentic— oh Lord Jesus, help me— we are authentic and, uh, that we are not deviating from our core values that we are professing. Because if we are, that was nothing more than a performance. So, I mean, I hope this episode helped a lot, man, when it comes to just leadership and, uh, leadership and relationship. Like I said, I have more coming. Again, just bear with me. I know that, you know, this format, I, I really want to bring on other voices that challenge mine, uh, as well, because I just believe that it's beauty in it. And I believe sometimes those episodes even do better, uh, because it's just, you know, two or sometimes a three-way conversation. Uh, but nevertheless, man, I just Like I said, right now God has certain things on my heart in this season. I believe that I've been, you know, very, very pruned and— pruned and what I'm trying to say— purged, for lack of better terms, for this space. A lot of people know that I've been in technology pretty much my whole adult life. I've been in the leadership side of it for over half my career now. And I'm fortunate, man, for the people that took opportunity on me. And one thing I will say this, just to kind of give people some context, uh I've always been fascinated with servant and transformational leadership. I really have. Uh, I just was, I used to be very, very nervous and I didn't really believe in like speak up culture because I just, I didn't want to speak up and it's really how I was molded. Uh, and then I started coming into this world of transparency and openness and I don't think I have an issue with it now. I really know I don't have an issue with it now. Uh, but also too, one of my core natures is to really observe the room. Uh, I'm one of the, people that if I'm always talking, then I'm not learning, I'm not making observations. So I try now, and my thing is like, I know I've already formulated a thought, but I don't want to come in with that preconceived notion. So now I just read the room. I sit back and I say, you know, let me make sure that I'm really listening. And I'm not listening with the intent to reply, but I'm listening with the intent to understand. Because like I said, again, if I'm always talking, how am I learning? How am I listening? So I'm just— I try to be very calculated, man, just as I've seen in the scriptures, as I've seen in books from people, podcasts and things like that, because I really do care about the relationship part of it, because I really want to understand people. And I have no issue with stating my position, but this is just a dynamic where I think we're going. And, you know, a lot of times with me— and I need to stop that, you know— but a lot of times with me, when it comes to how I lead or serve in any dynamic is that I want to make sure that I'm not leaking out any biases or I'm swaying the team or anything like that. Like, I want to hear from the people, and that has served me well. And I just think that's where we're going to go even more. So again, what I'm saying— I'm not saying as a leader you have the right to just stay back and don't say anything, but try to help cultivate your team in that dynamic is what I'm trying to say. So again, man, I love you all. I pray that you keep rocking. I played it through the I pray that these episodes are a blessing with you, and I just ask you to continue to share, uh, man, with your, uh, network. So God bless, man, uh, praying for you all, and have a great new year.

Hey, what's up? I want to thank you for taking the time to listen to the Student Life Podcast today. If this content has impacted you in any kind of way, please take some time to share it on your social media feeds. And also, if you want to connect with me or just learn more about me, go over to www.timprattjr.com. Thanks.