10 Things to Stop Doing ASAP: It’s Time to Reclaim Your Power!

What's up guys, welcome back to the podcast. Thank you so much for being here. We are a few days out from Christmas and this is a funky kind of time of year. A lot of us are thrown off of our routines, we've traveled home, or we're just off of work or doing something different than what we normally would be doing. And so I feel like it's a time of year where we don't really listen to as many podcasts. So if you are here and you are listening, thank you, I see you and I appreciate you. So thank you guys for being here. I'm excited for this week's episode, we're going to be unpacking 10 things to stop doing ASAP if you want to reclaim your power, a.k.a. if you want to be in your best energy, if you want to get all of the beautiful things that you know that you desire and deserve out of life. These are 10 things that I recommend that you stop doing as soon as possible. And these are also things that I'm going to go look back on and take my own advice for, because there are some things in this list that I have gotten really good at, and there are other things that I have fallen off the bandwagon with. So you might be the same. Um, go back through this list of the 10 things to stop doing, and you might be reminded of some things that we need to improve on or set boundaries with or whatever it may be. So I'm excited to dive into this week's episode. I'm also aware that a lot of you guys probably want to hear a recap, things about the retreat, and I will be sharing everything about the recent retreat in the Dominican Republic in the bonus episode for this month. So that will be coming out later, and once that bonus episode drops, that will be the place where you can get updates and recaps and everything of how it went down on the retreat. So I'm just saving all of that juicy goodness for that episode. So that will be in your ears very soon if you're interested, if you're intrigued. Also, if you're thinking about coming on the next retreat, don't forget that we do have a 2023 waitlist open already, and there are already way more names on this waitlist than like any of the spots that are available. So if you're thinking about coming on a future retreat with us, make sure that you add your name because those people are going to get first dibs. They're going to get a discount. They're going to be the first to know when spots open, and it's probably going to sell out even faster than it did this last time, which we sold 50% of the retreat spots in one day this past time. And I think it's going to go even faster. So if you're curious about the retreat, you know that you potentially or definitely want to come on the next one, make sure that your name is on the waitlist. You can find that at the link in my bio on Instagram at _samanthadaily. Another announcement before we dive into this episode, because we are fast approaching 2023, if you guys want to start the year off with me and in community and in a really high vibe to kick off the year, there's still time to join the Reset Challenge. This is the third year that I've done this challenge and it's my favorite way to start the new year, and it's a 10-day challenge. It's super low cost. You can still get it for $45 if you're listening to this in real time. It's normally $55, but you can use the code in all caps RESET10 to save an extra $10 and get access to the whole challenge for $45 if you sign up and register with us before December 31st. So you've got a few days left. If you've missed that cutoff and you're listening to this and it's already like January 2nd or 3rd or 4th, you still have some time. So the challenge doesn't actually start until January 9th, so have all the way until Sunday, January 8th, to sign up and register for the Reset Challenge. There will be a link in the show notes below as well as a link in my bio on Instagram. Basically what this challenge is, is it's a 10-day commitment to movement, meditation, and manifestation. I'm going to provide absolutely everything for you so that you don't need to think or plan or figure out how you're going to start the year in a good energy. You just have to show up, click a button, and it's all there for you. So every single day I'm going to provide you with some sort of movement. So we have 6 high-intensity at-home workouts, and then we have 4 yoga flows. All of those are guided by me. I'm doing them alongside you in the videos. They are pre-recorded so that you can practice these workouts and yoga flows at any time throughout the day, regardless of where you live in the world, which is awesome. So you're going to get some form of movement, either a workout or a yoga flow, every day. And then you're also going to get a guided meditation every single day, one of my guided meditations. People love these, they rave about these, they want to keep these forever when they're in my programs and they have access to some of them. So you're going to get a guided meditation every single day, and then you're also going to get a manifestation challenge. So I call them mini challenges, and they're basically just small, tangible action steps that I'm going to challenge you to do every single day of the 10-day challenge to help get you closer to your manifestations and start to create more space in your life to call in the things that you're desiring and heighten your level of magnetism. So if you're here for it, if you want to begin the year with me, we're also going to have a group chat that I'll be inside. We can chat back and forth. I'm going to do daily accountability with you guys. I'll answer any of your questions in the chat. It's just such a fun vibe. I'm also going to give you access to my playlists for the workouts and the yoga flows so that you have music and all of that to get into the energy. You're also going to get a free copy of my ebook, New Year, New Magic. This is the complete manifestation guide, everything that you need to know to manifest your dream life. I wrote it down. I put it in a beautiful format. I included pictures. Stories from my life, and I think over 14 worksheets at the back that will help you journal through things and just get set for an amazing year in 2023. So the energy is going to be high. It's so much fun. I'm going to be doing it alongside you. If you want to join us, click the link in the show notes or head over to my Instagram at _samanthadaily and click the link in my bio and sign up for the Reset Challenge. Also, when you join the challenge, you have the chance to be entered to win a free hoodie. So merch is still available if you've been wanting buy one of our manifestation hoodies, you can either go directly to the link in the show notes or the link in my bio on Instagram and purchase your hoodie. Or if you're joining the Reset Challenge and you want to see if you could be a lucky winner, you can enter to win and we'll be raffling off some free hoodies. So there's that as well. I really hope to see you guys inside the challenge. It's such a fun way to start the year and I can't wait. Okay, let's dive into this week's episode. Welcome to the Makeshift Happen podcast. I'm your host, Samantha Daly. Entrepreneur, life coach, and your no BS bestie here to bring you all things mindset, manifestation, and personal development. This podcast is designed to help you expand your mind and uplevel your life. So turn the volume up and roll the windows down if you're coming along for the ride. Let's go make shift happen. Okay, so the first thing on my list of 10 things to stop doing ASAP to reclaim your power is devaluing and underestimating yourself. And I think this is so interesting when you look into the studies that have been done between the differences between men and women. And the ways in which women tend to severely undervalue themselves or devalue themselves more so than men. It is, it's frightening, it's shocking, and it's so disappointing. And I think one of the first places that I really learned about this was when I started to learn a lot more about money mindset. And obviously, you know, this is something that we touch on and we teach a lot inside of Cosmic Cash, but this idea of women really underestimating their worth. Not only their worth, but also like what they're capable of and their own potential and what they deserve to be compensated for. And this happens so much in the workplace, but it's not the only place that it happens. But that's kind of like the biggest thing, uh, for me in my life and my clients' lives. And what we work on a lot is this idea of knowing your worth and asking for what you deserve, because you're never going to receive anything that you want unless you have the courage to ask for it, right? If you just sit around thinking that someone's gonna notice that you're a hard worker and that you keep your head down and that you're a team player and that you, you know, produce great results and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, all the great things that you do, um, if you're just sitting around waiting and thinking that someone, you know, oh, if I just keep doing this, someone's going to notice me and someone's going to care and someone's going to reach their hand out and say, Hey Becky, you're doing a great job, like you deserve a raise, or you deserve a promotion, or, you know, how could we help you develop your career further? What is it that you really want in your career? Like, let me help you. Like that, it's not coming, right? Like we're waiting around for something that's most likely— I don't want to say never because there are certain cases where there's organizations that have absolutely great leadership and, and people that will do that, but it's very rare, unfortunately. I wish you could see my eye roll right now. So a lot of times we're like waiting around thinking that, oh, you know, if I just work hard enough, like, I'm gonna get what I deserve eventually. Well, you're only going to get what you deserve if you have the courage to ask for it. So it's really important to do that work of understanding what you're worth, what you're able to charge, whether you work for yourself or you work in a corporate company. It doesn't really matter. Like, you need to know the ins and outs of what that is and what the industry standard is and what the people around you are making, what the men who are in similar positions as you are making, right? Like, we need to understand what that is so that we can start asking for what we deserve and start receiving it. In terms of like the mindset piece, I was listening to a podcast the other day and they were talking about this, um, study that they did with college students where they asked these— they asked male and female college students to take this pop quiz on scientific reasoning, right? And so before they gave them the quiz, they were asked to rate themselves on their scientific skill set. So, you know, like, oh, how well do you think that you'll be able to answer these questions? What do you know about science? Blah, blah, blah. Rate yourself on a scale of 1 to 10. And so, of course, so, so lovely for us girls, they all rated themselves like so much lower than the boys, um, for no real reason other than the fact that they just tend to devalue themselves and underestimate themselves, right? So they rated themselves with their— on their scientific skills like much lower than the boys. And then everybody took the quiz, and then after the quiz they asked them to rate themselves again. So having seen the questions on scientific reasoning, whatever it was, they said, okay, like, how do you feel about your scientific skills now having taken the quiz. And again, the same thing happened. The girls rated themselves so much lower than the boys. But when they actually went back and looked at the results of how they performed, like how males versus females performed on the actual quiz, their scores were relatively the same. Like there was no, you know, outlier or any sort of reason to believe that you know, one gender over the other had better scientific skills. So it really is all just in our heads that we don't think that we're good enough at a lot of things, and we don't even give ourselves the chance to try it and go for it. And this happens all the time with job interviews too, which I think I've talked about this on the podcast briefly. I, I remember mentioning it once, but I don't know which episode it was in. Um, like women like the amount of certainty that a woman has to have that she's, uh, she has the, the skills and the experience and whatever to be able to do a job is so much higher for her in order to click the button and like even apply to a job than it is for a man, right? Like a woman will read a job, uh, a job description and be like, ooh, 5 years experience. I only have 3. And you know, ooh, this type of software, I'm not really super familiar with that. Like I wouldn't know how to use that 100% on my own. And then they'll like take that and be like, I'm not qualified for this job. I'm not going to apply for it. And whereas a dude would be like, 5 years experience, I have 3, that's good enough. And then they'll briefly read through the things that they're required of and be like, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm sure I could figure it out. Like I know some of that stuff and the rest of it, I'm sure they'll train me on it or whatever, you know, I can figure it out. I'll do it. I'll, I'll apply. And it's like, why, why are we letting so many opportunities slip through our fingers without even like trying? And the crazy part is it's like, what do you lose in that scenario? What do you lose by just giving it a go and applying for the job? Like the worst thing that could happen is that they just don't call you or they don't respond. And like, that's like, who cares? Like, that's nothing. And then what if you go to the job interview and you, you know, you determine that you don't want the job, or they determine that you're not qualified for the job, or it just isn't going to work out and it's a no? Well, then you've just got some more interview experience under your belt, right? You've gone out of your comfort zone, you've tried something new, you've expanded your horizons, and you've gained valuable interview experience. Moving on. Like, that's it. That's literally it. But we, we get so deep in our heads of like, everything has to be perfect. I have to be 100% qualified. Like, I can't mess this up. Like, I can't look stupid. They're gonna think this, blah, blah, blah. Like, we just need to stop. Okay, so I have something I think you're really gonna love, and your business is gonna love it even more. Do you want to steal the strategy I've been using to seduce premium buyers and Sell Out My Offers on Instagram Stories. Chances are you're already posting, you're already making sales, but if your Instagram Stories aren't working as hard as you are, you're leaving money on the table. Sold Out Stories is gonna teach you exactly how to change that so that you can sell out any offer at any price point. 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We just really need to stop. So that is number 1: stop devaluing yourself or underestimating yourself and give yourself a chance. Number 2 is living a life without boundaries. We just like, we got to have boundaries. Like, they need, they need to happen. So it— I'm not going to go too deep into boundaries, uh, because I did a whole podcast on setting boundaries where I give you the exact language and sentence structure and all these things that you can use if you want to learn how to set boundaries in your life. But I think a lot of times people think that boundaries— they don't need boundaries, right? It's like, oh, that's only if you're like really struggling or if you have toxic people in your life or whatever. It's like, no, everybody needs boundaries. Even if you have a really great relationship and really great friendships and really great family and you love your co-workers and you love your job and your whole fucking life is perfect, which like, whose is anyway? But even if that's the case, like you still need boundaries. We all need boundaries. It doesn't mean that bad things are going on in your life, and that's why you need boundaries. So if you feel like, um, I don't know what my boundaries are, or I don't know that I've ever like sat down and had a conversation with someone and communicated my boundaries to them, then you need boundaries. So go listen to the episode on how to set boundaries. Number 3 is waiting to be happy. And just waiting in general, right? Like, if you're sitting here waiting and thinking like, oh, someday I'm gonna have like my dream career, and someday I'm gonna have my dream house, and someday I'm gonna be with my dream man or woman, and you know, everything's gonna be great, and oh, what a dream, that's gonna be awesome someday. What you're doing is you're just postponing your ability to experience joy and happiness, right? Because you're teaching yourself, you're training yourself, and you're also communicating to the universe that like, not now, that's not for me now. Later, sure, later, but that's not who I am, that's not how I live, that's not how I operate, that's not what I have and do right now. So we need to start creating happiness and joy right now. Like, right now. Like, today. With where you are and what you have and everything that's going on for you, you need to make it a priority to create joy and happiness in your life because that ultimately is the energy that you're embodying, and that's going to be the thing that allows you to attract more great things, right? If you're in the energy of waiting and just sitting around and hoping and dreaming and you know that it could feel nice to be like, oh yeah, someday this, someday that, someday that, and dreaming. But it's, it's not enough, right? You're vibrationally throwing your desires further out of reach by claiming that they are not for you yet and you cannot experience the emotions that they would give you yet. Because your circumstances don't allow for it. Like, we have to stop waiting and start creating. Figure out what it is that you want, where you want to be, the, the material items that you want to have, the relationships that you want to have, whatever it is that you're dreaming of. Figure out how you think that that would make you feel, because again, that's the only reason that we ever want anything in our, in our entire lives anyway, is because we think it's going to make us feel a certain way. Right? We only want a cheeseburger because we think it's going to make us feel satisfied or happy. We only want a certain car because we think we're going to feel luxurious or free or expansive when we have it. We only want a certain vacation because we think it's going to make us, you know, feel like we're having so much fun and we're on top of the world. And like, all we're doing in life is really chasing feelings. So figure out what it is that you're desiring in your life, what you're wanting, what your dreams are, and how are you imagining that that is going to make you feel. And rather than waiting to have that thing in order to feel that way, try to take that feeling and start building it into your life now in whatever that looks like, whatever small ways that you can. So if you want to feel like you're having so much fun, what can you do right now, today, tomorrow, this weekend, that's like really fun for you, right? Start making it a priority to cultivate those emotions that are attached to the things that you're desiring in the future. And stop waiting for permission or approval to take action and decide on something. You know, like there's so many things that we want that we're like thinking we're just visualizing it in the future for ourselves. But have you ever stopped to just ask yourself, Why not now? Like, why not now? Why can't you attract that partner or have that relationship now? Why can't you start figuring out how to get that dream car now? Why, why haven't you started to think about the way that you could make a change in your career and get into that purposeful, passion-driven dream career now? Why is it always later? Why is it always someday? Why is it always in the future, right? So start asking yourself more often, why not now? Okay, number 4 is using self-deprecating humor. So girls, listen up. I need everybody to listen up. This is— we're not doing this anymore, okay? We're making a pact. Put out your pinky. We're gonna pinky promise right here and right now that we're gonna make a conscious effort to stop doing this together as a team, as a group, girl power. We're fucking done with it. Self-deprecating humor is overrated. It's not funny. And in order for it to, you know, be perceived as not funny to others, we need to stop like laughing at it and responding to it in that way as well, right? So the next time your friend says like, oh my God, this is why I'm single, which, given the right circumstances, you know, could be a very funny joke, I admit. But the next time your friend says something like, I'm so fat, or I look like a homeless person, or what the fuck is wrong with my hair right now, ew, oh my God, look at my nails, how disgusting, uh, you know, I love waking up every day with anxiety, like little jokes that are basically just like calling yourself out on how much you suck, we need to stop because that really influences— like, it doesn't seem like it, it doesn't seem like it, and I know sometimes it can in the right, in the right situation it can be funny, but it really is not helping our self-worth. It's really not. And when you know that your self-worth is what informs your ability to earn money and create success and attract your desires and manifest the life that you want, you're gonna start to crack down and get really serious on all the things that are of disservice to building your self-worth. And that is one of them, honey. So let's stop with self-deprecating humor. Thank you. Okay, number 5, labeling yourself. Ooh, this is another one. So labeling yourself— what I mean by this is when we say things like, I'm a perfectionist, I'm an overthinker, I'm anxious, I'm so bad at sticking to habits, I hate working out, I'm not a morning person. All of these things are defining parts of our identity, right? We are communicating to ourselves, to our subconscious mind, to the world, and to the universe around us who we are and what we're available for. And when we label ourselves and we say, I am this, I am this, I am this, I am this, and those all being kind of limiting things or negative things, we're reinforcing that and we're strengthening our own belief that that is true and making it harder, extremely, like so much harder for ourselves to ever break that. And oftentimes these things that we say, like, oh, I'm such a perfectionist, or I'm a people pleaser, or I'm not a, I'm not a morning person, but I wish I could be, right? We say those things because we're often trying to break those habits or break those ways of being, and we want— we actively want to not be that anymore or not do that anymore. So by you saying, I am, I am, I am, you're doing the exact opposite of what your intention is, right? Your intent is to communicate how you are currently living and frame it in a way of like, okay, yeah, I'm a perfectionist, but I need to work on that. So it's like, okay, but if you want to work on that, then just stop saying that you're a perfectionist. That's like step one, you know. So these are— it's— these are like affirmations, right? When you learn about affirmations, like, that's what that is. It's an I am statement. And so we normally talk about positive affirmations of, you know, how to reaffirm things to yourself that are going to increase your self-worth, increase your self-confidence, increase your self-love, increase your ability to be energetically receptive to money and love and joy and happiness and all the things. But affirmations are affirmations, so whether it's positive or negative, it still works like an affirmation. So this is just a negative affirmation, right? I am a perfectionist. Okay, great, that's an affirmation, but it's just one that you don't want, right? It's a shitty one, it's a negative one, but it's still functioning as an affirmation, right? It's still informing your identity of who you are and who you believe yourself to be. And that's going to continue to be perpetuated for you in your actions and in your life. So we need to change that language and stop saying those things. Stop labeling ourselves. Okay. Number 6 is only considering what could go wrong. In a situation, AKA like the negative side of what if. So when we think about this concept of what if, right, what ifs come up for us when we have doubt or fear or uncertainty around a situation or a decision. And typically the what if— that the only what if that pops up for us is like the negative one, right, of like, but what if it didn't work out? Or what if they thought that was weird? Or what if he doesn't like me, or what if I embarrass myself, or what if I don't get the job, or what if I get fired, or what if, what if, what if. What if is usually almost always negative, right? But it doesn't have to be. So anytime that you're in a situation of fear, uncertainty, or whatever, and it's making you, you know, think of those what-if situations that are negative, I want you to stop yourself and try and reframe and think about, okay, but what's the other side of the coin, right? What is the positive side of what if, right? So what if it— what if I totally fucked it up and it didn't work out and everything went horribly and then everything was ruined? Okay, but what if it all worked out perfectly, like better than I could even imagine, and it was an amazing experience and I had so much fun? What if, right? So rather than only considering what could go wrong out of a situation, pause, reframe, and think, okay, but what are the positive what-ifs of this? What if this went exactly to plan? Or what if this went better than I was imagining? Or what if I did get the job? Or what if we did go on a second date? And what if I did fall in love? And what if this did work out? And what if my friends did support me? And what if I did make a lot of money? And what if I did get hired and start at that new job and be able to work in something that I'm passionate about? What if, what if, what if but now it's thinking about the expansive side of that, right? And they're both equally relevant. Sometimes our mind makes us believe that the negative what-if is the only thing that we need to focus on, because that's the danger, right? That's your logical mind trying to protect you and saying like, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, okay, don't, don't, don't do anything hasty. Don't step out of your comfort zone too quickly because there could be death out there. There could be death out there. So let's just think of, okay, out there, and then your mind is going to give you all those scenarios, right, that make you think of why you shouldn't do the thing. But it doesn't mean that that information is any truer or more relevant than the positive what-ifs, right? They both hold equal weight in terms of relevancy and trueness. We just place a lot more focus on the negative. So starting to shift that in your life and, and maybe seeing what happens for you. Number 7: Over-consuming information without applying it. This is something that I talk about on almost every one of my clarity calls. People that, you know, they come to me and they, they want to do coaching or they want to take the course from Berta to Badass, and they always say, you know, I'm learning so much. I'm, I'm really in love with personal development. I've been reading books, I've been listening to podcasts, watching YouTube videos, doing all these things, and I love the information that I'm learning, but I don't feel change in my life. Because we overconsume and we underapply. So we continue to listen to all the podcasts and read all the books and watch the YouTube videos and, you know, take the free trainings and sign up to the free masterclasses and do all the free, free, free, free, free 99 stuff, which is great. And I love providing free content for people. It's incredible. And my personal development journey totally started with me consuming free or nearly free content, right? But there comes a point where it almost like you get overwhelmed by the knowledge of everything that you could be doing and that you could be changing and the ways in which your life could look different. Because before, right, before you overconsumed all the personal development stuff, you were just like ignorant to it, right? You were, you were unaware of like what was possible and what was available to you. And so you were kind of like living in in that like negative ignorant bliss sort of bubble, which also isn't a great place to be. Like, don't, don't get me wrong, like, don't take this the wrong way, but I think living unconsciously and not being aware of your potential is an awful place to be. But it's almost like once you know what is out there and what you could attain, right, in the transformation that you could see in your life, you start to feel frustrated after a while if you're not feeling the change, right? Because you're over-consuming all this information. But until you have someone that's really there to help you and guide you and facilitate it for you, it's going to be hard to implement because we have lives. We have, we have like a lot of stuff on our plates. We do. So give yourself credit that you are, you know, juggling relationships and friendships and your career and staying healthy and taking care of your mental health and trying to stay hydrated and trying to call your parents and like like doing all these things and grocery shopping and cooking and cleaning. And like, there's a lot of responsibility as an adult. So this is why people hire personal trainers. This is why people hire coaches. This is why people hire business mentors. Because it's not that we can't do stuff. It's not that we can't create change. And it's also not that we don't have enough information. There's a lot of information out there. You could learn so much on YouTube or in books or on podcasts, right? But if you don't have something to lose, if you don't have any skin in the game, it's very unlikely that you are going to take it upon yourself to clear your schedule and make enough space and create the time to actually sit down and plan and work on it and implement and see the transformation take place, right? So stop over-consuming information and not applying any of it. If you need help applying something, if you need a personal trainer or a coach or a mentor or whoever, get one, because I promise you that is where the change and transformation starts to happen. But if that's not an option for you, then just limit the type of information that you're going to consume, right? Don't listen to 25 podcasts a week, right? Pick your favorites. And if this isn't one of them, then like, I won't be offended. Like, pick your favorites. Just stop ordering every single book on Amazon or downloading 10 audiobooks at a time and starting 3 of them and, and then, you know, not finishing them and then being like, oh shit, I feel guilty because I didn't go back and do that. And stop like saving every single workout on Instagram and on Pinterest and then never doing them, and, you know, keeping all the recipes and, and saving the Pinterest recipes and then never making them. It's We overconsume so much on such a big scale. So if you feel like that's you, one, hire someone that's gonna like be able to actually facilitate the transformation for you and get you a result. Or two, start to narrow in on what it is that you're actually focusing on and only consume those very important bits of information and make it a point for yourself to apply it, right? So if you learn something in a podcast or in a book or on a YouTube video and you're like, ooh, that's really good, I connect with that, I resonate with that, I think that would work me, try it. Write it in your agenda. Be like, this week, every day, I'm going to do that 3-minute breathwork exercise, or whatever it was that you learned that you felt was transformational, right? So that was— what number are we on? Number 7. Okay, we're almost there. Number 8 is following people out of obligation. Social media, right? Hey, don't forget that every month we are picking a Listener of the Month to win $50 in cash just for showing love to the show. All you have to do is leave an epic review of the podcast on Apple Podcasts, screenshot the review before you hit submit, and DM that screenshot to us on Instagram at Makeshift Happen Podcast. And that's it. I want to thank you for being such a loyal listener and show my appreciation by putting a little extra cash in your it. I know it's super easy not to do it, but every single rating and review seriously helps the show rank higher and reach new people, so we appreciate them more than you know. We'll announce the next winner at the end of the month and slide into your DMs if it's you, so keep an eye out and good luck. Love you guys and thanks for supporting Makeshift Happen. It's a lot. It's a lot. So I think that's it. Like, do I even need to say anymore? You like, stop following people out of obligation. I don't care who they are. I don't care if they're a family member, if they're a best friend from childhood or high school or college or whatever, or they're a coworker. You do not need to follow people out of obligation. You do not need to follow people if you don't like the content that they share. And especially, you do not need to follow people if the content that they share actually makes you feel bad about yourself in some way, right? If you see them and the lifestyle that they're living, or the money and the success that they have, or the free products that they get sent, or the body that they have, right? And you're like, you see those pictures and you notice yourself being like, oh, I wish I looked like that, or I wish I could have that, or she's so lucky, or like, why, why did they get that and I don't? Notice what accounts make you feel like that and unfollow them. And it's not that anybody's doing anything wrong. It's nobody else's fault. But we have to be self-aware enough of our own triggers and our own internal things that we're working on to know what's good for us and what's not good for us. And any account online that's gonna make you feel like, oh, I'm not good enough mouth, or I should be better, or I should do better, or I'm, I'm never going to be able to have that or do that or be that way. We need to cut that out right now. Like, as soon as you finish this episode, I want you to go to your Instagram, to your TikTok, to your Twitter, to your Facebook, to your Snapchat, to your whatever social media accounts that you're on and just start to trim the fat. It's not about them, it's not about what they share, it's not that they're doing anything wrong. It's just understanding what you need and that it's not serving you to be continuously exposed and have those wounds and triggers reopened on a daily basis through your phone screen, right? You're never going to get closer to loving yourself more if every single day you see reasons why you should shouldn't, or why you don't, or why you can't. So unfollow or mute, right? If it's somebody that is a personal relationship to you and you love them dearly and you appreciate them as a person, but like for some reason they just make you feel jealous or they make you feel shit about your life, then just mute them. That's, that's an option, and nobody knows that they're muted. You can mute stories, you can mute posts, you can mute both stories and posts, so you effectively just see nothing that they share anymore, but you're still following them. And then maybe someday, you know, when you've worked on yourself enough, um, you can go back and follow them and, and not have those feelings anymore. But there has to be a stage of separation, right? You can't quit your addiction to alcohol if you still have alcohol in your house and in your life and you're around it every day and drinking sips of it here and there throughout the day, which is basically what we're doing when we open our phone and we see that kind of So number 9, stop saying yes to things that you would rather say no to. And this is something that we talk about too in the, in the boundaries episode. So if, if you are a yes man, if you are the person that's always like, oh my God, yeah, sure. And then later you're like, shit, why did I say that? Then this, go and listen to the Boundaries episode because that's going to be really helpful for you. But I think, you know, something about this is when someone asks you to do something or to participate in something or to come to whatever event or party or thing in person, our, our natural instinct is to be kind and to be like, oh my God, yes, I'd love to, totally, thank you. And so it's hard for us to like not just almost like blurt that out, out of, uh, like impulse. So something that might help you, because if someone asks you to do something over text or email, it's a lot easier to pause, check in with yourself, and think like, do I really want to do this? Do I really want to say yes to this? Am I going to be able to show up to this thing, you know, with my full heart and my full energy and actually be happy to be there and participate and, you know, give good energy to the group or to this person and feel like I'm also receiving something valuable out of it in return. You need to do that check-in with yourself. If you're receiving the request via, you know, tech, some technology form where you have a time to pause, do that. Take that pause, check in with yourself, ask yourself if you really wanna truly do that thing. And then that makes a lot easier to actually give your authentic response of whether that's a yes or a no. And then, you know, the challenge just lies in not feeling like you're a bad person for saying no, because you're not. I think it's, you know, more damaging when we say yes to a bunch of stuff that we don't want to do, and then we show up with a negative energy, or we're like resentful to people because they keep asking us for stuff even though we keep saying yes. So in their mind, it's like we want to do it and we always do it. Like, if you're the person at work that like always covers someone's shift and you're like super easy and flexible about it, and you're like, oh my God, yep, totally, no worries— guess who's going to be the go-to person for when someone needs their shift covered? You, obviously, because no one wants to feel like awkward or rejected. And going to ask like Bobby, whenever they ask Bobby, he's like, no, fuck off, mate, like I already have my schedule, like I can't. But you're like, sure, yeah, totally. And then later you're kicking yourself for it. Well, you're going to be the go-to person now because you're very easy to ask and you're very easy to get a yes from. And I think it's worse if you continue to do that because then you're going to start to show up to those things with a negative energy and you're going to create resentment towards people in your life that don't necessarily deserve your resentment. It's just like, you didn't stand up for yourself, you didn't say how you were actually feeling, you didn't say what you actually wanted, what you actually needed. So how are they supposed to know? That they should stop asking you to do that thing, or that they should stop inviting you to whatever, like, right? Like, that's on you. Like, you gotta speak up. Um, but if it's not over email or text or something like that and it is in person, to avoid that natural impulse of just being like, yep, sure, practice like thinking of a phrase ahead of time. You have to think of a go-to phrase ahead of time so that the next time you're in one of these situations, you know exactly what to say, and that can be your impulse response rather than just going with the yes and then later being like, oh, I really don't want to do that. So a good example of this would be rather than just saying yep, sure, no problem, like how you usually would, say something like, yeah, totally, let me think about it and I'll get back to you really soon. Like, how nice is that? That's such a nice response. It's so neutral. You didn't have to say no to their face, but now you have space to actually take that moment of pause and decide Do I wanna do this thing or not? And then you have to follow through with what that answer is and, and actually, you know, have the courage to say no if the answer is no. But that's a whole nother thing. That's my tip for, uh, how to stop saying yes to things that you don't wanna say yes to. And the last one, number 10, is going to sleep with your phone. I don't know who's sick of me talking about this, but I'm gonna keep talking about this until I'm blue in the face because it's just such a game changer. Lately I've been bad with it. I was so good for a couple of weeks, and that's when I was like ranting and raving about it to you guys. I was like, oh my God, my whole life has changed! I bought an alarm clock and all my problems are solved. Um, and they were really— it did solve like basically every problem that I have in my life, kind of. Like, that's obviously an exaggeration, but like also low-key kind of true. So, but the past couple of weeks I've, uh, maybe the past like week and a half-ish, I've been like bad again, and I've been going to sleep up with my phone, and it's fucked my sleep schedule and my morning routine and my meditation practice and everything. Like, it, it just ruins everything. It's just like, your phone in bed at night before you go to sleep will ruin your life. That is just a fact. So get an alarm clock, charge your phone. For the love of God, I'm speaking to myself. Samantha, charge your phone in another room. And it just, it makes things so much easier. You go to— you fall asleep better, you get more rest, you wake up more refreshed. You don't feel the need to check your phone immediately in the morning because it's all the way in the kitchen and you're waking up in the bedroom, and then you're going to the bathroom to like brush your teeth and wash your face and do your stuff. Like, this is a boundary— if I could share any boundary in the whole world this would be the one that I feel like just really will rock your world in the best way possible. So there you guys have it, my 10 things to stop doing as soon as possible if you want to reclaim your power. I hope you guys found this episode helpful. If you did, make sure that you share it with a friend. Take a screenshot of this episode and share it to your Instagram stories, or send it in a group chat, share it with your mom, your sister, whoever, just to spread the love. And I hope you guys have an amazing week, and I cannot wait to see you in inside of the reset challenge. I cannot wait. It's going to be so much fun. So like, the vibes are going to be so high. I'm just like getting amped for it already. So go over to the link in my bio on Instagram at _samanthadaily and get yourself registered and set up, and I'll see you next week.