10 Ways to Kill Your Inner Critic & Feel More Peace & Ease

Welcome to the Makeshift Happen podcast. I'm your host, Samantha Daly, entrepreneur, life coach, and your no BS bestie, here to bring you all things mindset, manifestation, and personal development. This podcast is designed to help you expand your mind and uplevel your life.

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Let's go make shit happen. What's up, you guys? Welcome back to the podcast. I am realizing this week how much the weather really affects your mood because I'm a generally happy person. I'm pretty much in my happy bubble every day, which I'm very lucky and blessed to be able to say. I wake up genuinely happy and excited about my life every day. But it has been like monsoon rains for the past 4 days straight. Just gray, dark skies, like really heavy rain, super windy, like can't even go outside. It's been such a struggle to take the dog for a walk because everything just gets completely soaked. And Storm has so much hair, and just dog walks that are this wet are not enjoyable. And it's just been like a whole thing, you know, when it's like gross outside, you just kind of like feel gross on the inside. So I'm noticing like fluctuations in my mood because of the weather, and I haven't I kind of forgot how sensitive I am to weather and the kind of outer environment. But growing up in Buffalo, New York, where it is literally gray and cold and blistering winds and blizzards for like 6 months of the year, I remember now there was a time when I totally would get into seasonal depression. I'm pretty sure I was a teenager, so I didn't really know much about mental health or any of those things. But looking back on it, I'm like, I was really affected because I remember one year specifically, it was like April, like end of April, which in the Northern Hemisphere is like mid-spring, and it was still snowing. And so it starts snowing in Buffalo in like October or November. So yeah, November, December, January, February, March, April. It's like end of April and it's still snowing. So that's like a solid 6 months of winter. And I just remember like at that point being at my wit's end and being so frustrated and actually having like a full-on breakdown. I remember crying like in the hallway of school, being like, I have to get out of here, I need a vacation, I can't do this anymore. Like fully just not okay. And I always remember thinking to myself like, I will not choose to live here as an adult. And I love where I grew up and I love the people and it's an awesome place. But weather-wise, I'm just remembering, like, damn, yeah, it really does have an effect on me. But for everybody else, it's springtime. Florida people, you got to let me know. Since the day I got here in August, it's been like blue skies and amazing weather. And I'm like, oh, there's no seasons here. And then suddenly spring hits and it's like, monsoons. So I'm like, hopefully this isn't how it is for the rest of the season. You guys are going to have to let me know. Florida locals, give me a shout out. What am I supposed to expect? I am the queen of just like doing things without even having any context or knowing anything about it. I bought my house without ever seeing it. I booked my retreat center without ever visiting the place. Like, I just do things without— I do things fully on self-trust. So moving to Florida was one of those things, and I'm just finding things out as I go. But anyway, I'm sitting here in my office, I've got a cup of tea, it feels like it's the middle of the night because it's so gray and dark outside, even though the windows are open. And it's a little bit like of a moody sort of weather vibe, which made me feel like the topic for today's episode should be about this concept of dealing with negative thoughts and overthinking and your inner critic and how to combat these parts of ourselves and the ego that, that always comes up. Because it does feel challenging sometimes. And so we're going to talk about ways to kill your inner critic to feel more peace and ease, and also the things to not do. There's a list of things that I'm going to give you that is inside of my program, From Burnt Out to Badass, of ways that we can just start getting rid of some things that actually make a really, really big difference. And so the inspiration from this episode comes from a question from one of you guys. Someone submitted on my Instagram recently when I asked you what you want to hear on the podcast. Someone asked how to stay positive when the outside world is so negative. And I— this, this question kind of caught my attention because my initial reaction was Interesting. Okay. Because I am a person who candidly, like, I just don't really struggle to stay positive. I kind of felt like, oh, I don't know. Like, I mean, I can teach you the tools and techniques that have changed my life, but that's, you know, really what I teach in my programs, like From Burnt Out to Badass and things like that. And so at first I was like, I don't know if I want to answer that question. It doesn't feel as alive for me, I guess is what you could say, because I don't experience that anymore. Luckily, like, that is such a fortunate thing. I'm not trying to like brag or be like, I'm further along in the journey because I'm happy all the time. Absolutely not. I just genuinely, I don't struggle to stay positive. I, like I said, I wake up pretty much every day in my life. I feel happy, I feel positive, I feel excited. And there's a lot of things that you know, I've done to create that. And there's a lot of things that I have sacrificed and worked hard for in order to build a life that facilitates that sort of like happy, joyful, excited feeling every day. But there's also a lot of really simple things. So the more that I thought about it and sat with that question, I was like, you know what, there are so many people that are curious about this, of how to be more positive. And there's fancy schmancy stuff. And then there's also just really friggin simple ways to like get started and work on it today. So that's mostly what we're going to talk about. These are going to be really realistic strategies, things, just even just reframes, mindset shifts, things that you can do right now with where you are and what you have to become a more positive person and feel more peace and ease in your life, which we can, we can all do, right? Even myself, you know, I wake up on days when it's monsooning outside and maybe I need some of these strategies to help myself get back in my, in my, in my zone. So what, what I want to start with is this idea that sometimes it's, it's really less complicated than we think. And we don't necessarily need to add 1,000 complicated rituals into our life to start seeing immediate results. I'm talking immediate results. You could— if you do some of these things that we're going to talk about today, you could start seeing results as soon as tomorrow. And that's— I'm not even trying to like overexaggerate. Like, that's just real. So sometimes all we have to do is trim away the things that are weighing us down. And so the way that I like to think about this is, well, first of all, everybody wants to think that there has to be this like uber complicated crazy thing that they have to do, this series of rituals, this, you know, they have to have so much discipline and they have to do this crazy morning routine and perfect nighttime routine and all these things and have a beautifully aesthetic house and look like a Pinterest board. And people just think that that's what's required in order for you to actually feel happy or feel at ease in your life. And the truth is that oftentimes you don't even need to worry about adding anything. You first just have to think about what are the things you need to take away. And so the, the analogy that I came up with for this is kind of like, let's imagine you have an airplane, right? And there's super heavy luggage on the plane, so much so that it can't take off the ground because it's over the weight limit. It's too heavy. It can't get off the ground. And you might think, okay, so in order to get this plane from point A to B, we need to build a stronger motor so that we can get it off of the ground. And that would be like adding all these things, right? It would be a longer process. It would be— it would take a lot of time. It would take a lot of ingenuity. We would have to trial and error and, you know, create something consistent and, you know, build this whole— construct this whole thing that's going to make the plane stronger so that we can get off of the ground with all of the heavy luggage. Or we could go, hang on a minute, maybe there's some stuff that we can just let go of first. Maybe we can release some of the baggage and then we don't even need to build a new motor and we don't need to get all fancy and complicated and do any of that extra stuff. And maybe you want to do a combination of both, right? Maybe you want to release some of the baggage and like tweak or refine or upgrade your motor in a sense, right? Are we getting the analogy with the plane? Okay, so there's two ways to get yourself off the ground. You either build a stronger motor, aka you add a bunch of things into your life that are really positive, Or you could just start trimming the fat. You could release some of the baggage. You could get rid of some of the stuff that's holding you down and holding you back. So that's where this idea of my to-don't list comes into play. So the to-don't list is something that we cover inside From Burnt Out to Badass. It's inside Chapter 4 of the Mindset Mastery Guide inside that program. And that chapter is all about tackling negativity and comparison. And so we get into the to-don'ts list because there is a mindset expert and sports psychologist, Trevor Mohawad. I listened to a bunch of interviews with him a long time ago, and he's really incredible. And he works with some of the top athletes in the world in terms of adjusting their mindset so that they can become high performers. And what he says is that sometimes it's more about what you don't do than what you do do. So this is that exact concept of what we're talking about, right, is getting rid of things and the power of that. It's all about like, rather than trying to become a positive person, why don't we just neutralize the things that are making us feel negative, right? So instead of trying to go up, up, up, why don't we get rid of the things that are bringing us down, down, down? And then we can find ourselves at least in this neutral space. But you might even find that by trimming the fat, you already feel a lot more positive. So I'm going to give you guys this to-don't list from inside of this chapter of the course, and you can do with it what you will, but here it is. These are the things that are on the to-don'ts list. Don't voice negative thoughts aloud. Don't complain about trivial things. Don't compare yourself to anyone but who you were yesterday. Don't use a complaint as a conversation starter. For example, The exact way that I started this podcast. The weather was such shit this weekend, wasn't it? Like, why does everyone start conversations like that? Okay, I'm not modeling that example very well with today's episode, but anywho, we continue. Don't watch or read traditional news because the truth is more than 90% of news is negative. Like, that's just a fact. There's no other way around it. It is what it is. Like, it's just— it's bad. It's so trash. Don't consume depressing content often. So these are things like horror films or stories, books, media that are surrounding tragedy, death, loss, crime, true crime. I know there's a lot of true crime lovers. I'm sorry, it be bringing the vibes down. Don't speak negatively or talk badly about others. Or yourself. Which brings us to our last one, which is don't use self-deprecating humor. For example, I look like a homeless person, lol. I don't know why that was like such a huge part of our— I feel like I said that a lot in college. We were always like, oh my God, I look like such a homeless person right now. So yeah, that's— those are just some things that we want to start to consider. And it's not even like, okay, you can never do these things. Like, for example, the first one, don't voice negative thoughts aloud. If you go to therapy or you have a coach or you're in spaces where you want to talk about things that are coming up for you, like, of course it's, it's important and valuable and relevant to speak those things aloud, right? So there's also nuance to these things. There's no hard and fast black and white rules with this. The point of the to-don'ts list is really just to bring awareness to how much negativity we are truly allowing to seep into our lives, our conversations, and our mindsets on a daily basis. Because sometimes we don't even realize that we are contributing to the negativity. We think, just like this question from our audience member, of like, oh my God, the world is so negative. Yes, there are negative, scary, bad, atrocious things happening in the world, but what do we have control over, right? We don't have control over the politicians. We don't have control over— I mean, yes, vote, right? But you get what I'm saying. We don't have control over other people's actions or all of these big existential crises that are, that are going on. But we do have control over the pieces of the negativity that we may be contributing to or that we may be allowing to seep in in these sort of like insidious ways that we're not even really realizing. And so that's the point of the to-don'ts list, is to just bring the awareness And so the invitation here is to just maybe jot down the things that I've just said on the to-don't list and heighten your awareness around how often those things are happening. So notice when you use a complaint as a conversation starter. Notice how you're feeling when you're watching the news. Notice how you feel after you watch the true crime documentary or listen to the podcast. Like, how do you feel about people that are walking down the street? Suddenly you think everyone's a bad person, right? That's negativity pouring into your life because of some of the choices that you are making, right? Yes, there is truth to there being bad people that are doing bad things, but also, again, it's taking the power back and really taking responsibility for the things that we can control and looking at where we are contributing to this perpetual feeling that the world is such a bad place that we live in. Right. Notice when you're using self-deprecating humor, how you make fun of yourself, how you talk about your appearance or, or anything like that. Right. So you're just going to start to notice that there's things that can be cleaned up and that we can get rid of. And that's the point of the to-don't list is really to bring in the awareness there. And then every time you notice one of those things happening, you, you don't really need to do much. You just notice it and then you go, hmm, Okay, interesting. I'm just going to take a mental note of that and I'm going to set an intention. I'm going to try to not do it again. But, you know, habits are hard to break and we do things subconsciously and impulsively and compulsively. And so you'll, you'll notice them come up, but you'll start to get better at diffusing them or choosing differently, noticing the impulse, like the desire coming up of like, oh, I want to make fun of myself. And then going, I'm going to choose not to do that and finding a different way to relate to people. I think that's a huge thing too, is a lot of the negativity in our lives is because we think— well, it's not that we think, it's we know people bond over like shared negative experiences, right? Everybody knows this. You've had a conversation of like you went to a restaurant and your experience was so bad and you talked to somebody else that had the same experience and you all of a sudden you're like, oh my God, right? And then you can make fun of it and it can be light and fun, or you can just bond over, like, being pissed about something or whatever it is. Like, we, we really do bond through negativity. And this also goes for the way that we think about others. Like, if you have a certain politician that you hate, you're going to bond with other people who also hate that person. If you have certain reality TV characters that you can't stand, or they've just done something awful on Vanderpump and you're like, bad and you want to like talk about it. Again, nothing wrong with that. This is just an illustration of how we truly do build bonds with each other over negativity. And so because of that, it's kind of like this habitual thing to bring in the negative aspects of the weather is shitty or I'm going to make fun of myself or all these different ways because it creates this sense of like being able to connect with others. And so we also want to explore How can we start to, like, converse with other people and create genuine connections without it having to be based on negativity alone? And again, like, time and place for everything. You don't have to become this person who, you know, never gossips or never talks about reality TV or never shits on anyone. Like, come on, it's the real world. Like, you get to have fun and you get to be funny and you get to make jokes. And there's going to be things that involve negativity in our lives always. But again, it's just about where we can control it and where we're choosing to be like, oh, you know what, that's actually not really serving me. Like, I think I'm doing that maybe a little bit too much and I want to start to trim it or, you know, reduce the frequency with which I start conversations in that way or how much I gossip or how much I talk about these negative things that are happening on the news or in TV or whatever it is. Okay, so let's talk about these 10 ways to kill your inner critic. So a lot of these, I think pretty much all of them are quite simple and really, really accessible, which is what I'm excited about because anybody can do this stuff. Okay? You don't need a crystal. You don't need a— you don't need anything. All you need is just you and this podcast and an open mind to start shifting some things. So 10 ways to kill your inner critic. Let's get into them. The first one is by asking yourself when a negative thought of some sort comes up, asking yourself the question, is this actually true? And just even if that's just the one thing that you do, it will start to create changes in the way that your mind works because our thoughts come in succession. Right? And it's like that game that people play sometimes where it's like, if I say red, what do you think of? And maybe you think of like a heart. And if I say heart, what do you think of? Maybe you think of love. And it just goes like that, right? So one thing leads to the next thing, which leads to the third thing, which leads to the fourth thing. And it's like this domino effect. Thoughts like move in succession like that. And so like-minded thoughts connect to other like-minded thoughts and bring those to the surface. So that's why you can have one bad apple of a thought, but if you give it enough power and you go, oh my God, shit, and you really lean into it and you allow it, it's going to spark the next negative thought and the next negative thought and the next negative thought. And before you know it, you're in this pit of like, oh my God, I have no idea what I'm doing with my life and I'm a failure and I'm never going to have the things that I want and everything is a waste of time. And I don't know why I ever thought that I could do these things or have this dream or make money or do any of it. Like, I'm a total loser. And the original thought could have been like, when are taxes due? And you could have gotten all the way to like, my life is useless and I have no purpose and I don't know what I'm doing and I'm never going to make money and I'm a failure. Right? So we want to stop the first one by, by questioning it instead of leaning into it and letting it spark or domino those other negative thoughts that are going to follow. We stop the initial one and we just go, is this actually true?

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Is this true all the time without a doubt? Can I be 100% certain that this is true? Spoiler alert, the answer is always no, because it's really hard to know if something is true all the time without a doubt. But that's just the point, is to call ourselves out on, on the bullshit thoughts. So number 1 is asking yourself, is this actually true? Number 2 is to separate yourself from the thought. So maybe you've heard this before, but it's a great concept. I am not my thoughts. So you, your identity, your soul is not by definition your thoughts. If you've ever read The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle or The Untethered Soul, books like this, this is kind of the concept that they are working with, which is If you can observe the thought and objectively look at it, then you must be outside of it, right? So you are not the actual thought itself, which when you're growing up, you think like everything in your head is a part of you. But we have to start to make this distinction and separation of creating distance between you and the thought. If you are able to observe the thought and pull it out and question it and look at the ways that it's true or untrue and just create this analysis of it, then you must not be the thought. You are the observer of the thought. So the thought is just something that you are experiencing. It's not actually part of you. And this goes for any negative thought. And so you start to just create the separation in your mind. It's a simple reframe, right? There's nothing to it. It's not like an activity that you have to do or anything at all. It's just recognizing Hang on. I am me and, and the thoughts are happening. The thoughts are something that I'm experiencing. So I am me and I am experiencing a negative thought. These thoughts are not me. They are not mine. They are not part of me. They are not attached to my identity. And if I've done step 1, I've actually already identified that they're not true. So I get to decide how much power this thought has over me and whether or not I choose to believe it. You have the power to do that every single time. You have the power to decide, am I going to believe this thought or not? That's a choice. So that is in a nutshell, the step number 2 of creating that separation. And also remembering that most fearful thoughts, if you're having like fear, self-doubt, those types of things that are coming up, most fearful thoughts are an illusion, right? You've maybe heard this acronym before, but for the word F-E-A-R. It's fake evidence appearing real. So just reminding yourself of these things, right? Like, this is an illusion. This isn't part of me. This is not my identity. I am not my thoughts. I am me, and I'm experiencing a negative thought. I am taking my power back and choosing not to believe this. And you kind of stop it in its tracks there. Number 3 is to use my reframing process that I teach all of my clients. We also talk about this inside of From Burnt Out to Badass. It's super simple, you guys, and you can use it anywhere, anytime. Time. It takes 20 seconds. All you have to do is say this in your head to yourself. When you have a negative thought come up, your awareness is going to be heightened now, especially after this episode. So you're going to notice yourself having these negative thoughts. That's good. It's good news. It might seem like you're having more negative thoughts, but you're not. You're just more aware of what's actually been happening and running on autopilot the entire time. So when you notice a negative thought pop up, all you have to do is, great, awesome. Okay, this is a good thing because I'm aware of it now, where before I was asleep. So instead of making it mean something bad about yourself of like, oh my God, I just had a negative thought. I thought I was over this. I thought I was beyond this. I thought I did enough self-work already to not have this. Nope. It's like, okay, awesome, great. I am now becoming aware of something in my mental sphere that I was once asleep to. This is an awesome opportunity to use my reframing process. And so you thank yourself for having the awareness that you're having this negative thought that you want to shift, and then you use the reframe. You simply say in your mind, I forgive myself for thinking blank. I choose to believe that blank. So you insert the thoughts there, right? I forgive myself for thinking— insert the negative thought there that you just had. I choose to believe that blank. And then you insert the reframe, whatever you would choose to believe instead. Something more beautiful, something more empowering, something more uplifting, something that you want to actually be true in your life. Number 4 is to change the goal or change what we think is the goal. So most of the time we think that the goal is to feel good all the time. Or maybe our goal is, I just want to get back to feeling good. I don't want to feel this way anymore. And so all suffering is resisting what actually is. That's, that's what suffering is. It's when we resist what is— when we resist the truth of what is happening for us right now, it creates suffering. And so instead of making the goal, oh, I don't want to feel like this anymore, I want to get back to feeling good, I want to get back to feeling positive, making the goal instead be knowing how to navigate the full range of human emotions, especially these trickier ones. Right. And so instead of feeling like Oh, I'm only successful in this situation if I can switch myself back to positivity really quickly. It's like, no, you're successful in this situation if you can actually give yourself the space to feel this emotion and navigate it intelligently by asking yourself if it's true, separating yourself from the thought, saying, I forgive myself for thinking X, I choose to believe that Y. Like, that's the success right there, is knowing how to navigate the trickier emotions. Number 5 is to not make any decisions while you are in a heightened state of emotion, when especially when you're upset, right? So waiting until you can neutralize those emotions or come back to a sort of baseline before you make a decision about what you're going to do next, right? So like in the example that I gave before, if you had a thought of like, oh my God, when are taxes due? And then suddenly that dominoes into I'm such an idiot, I don't know how to run a business. I don't know why I thought I could ever do this. I don't know what I'm doing with my life. This is never going to work. I'm never going to be successful. I'm a failure, whatever. Right? You wouldn't want to make a decision from that choice to— for— or from that place to burn your business to the ground and be like, okay, well, I'm done now and I'm deleting Instagram or I'm giving up or I'm, you know, canceling all my clients or whatever the thing is, right? So not making the decisions about what you're going to do next when you're in the heightened state. And instead using the tools and these shifts that we're talking about to neutralize your energy. When you come back to neutral, that's when you can say, okay, knowing what I know and having gone through what I've gone through, what am I choosing to do next? And that will create so much more aligned action in your life than if you're just to impulsively make choices based off of the negative emotions when they arise. Number 6 is to get more involved in something that you're passionate about. And this one is the only one that maybe is not like an immediate sort of thing that you can do, and it's more of like a long-term strategy. But getting involved in something that you're more passionate about is relevant to killing your inner critic or reducing the overthinking and the negativity in your mind and in your life. Because when you are lit up, and working towards a goal that you are excited about, or you are serving, meaning you are contributing to a cause that you care about, you switch the focus from me to we, and that automatically makes you spend less time in overthinking mode. When you go out, when you get out of the me and you get into the we, of like community and building something and moving towards a goal and creating impact or helping others, serving others. When you do that, you have way less mental space to be in this like me, me, me, me, me overthinking mode about yourself and being critical and worrying about what you're going to do with your future or about your body or about your skin or about whatever else is bothering you. So actually being involved in something that you're passionate about is really important. And it doesn't mean that you need to find your purpose and your whole career has to be based around something that you're passionate about. But it's like anything that you can, that you can involve in your life or get involved in that creates that sense of, of community, of passion, of working towards something that means something to more people than just yourself. And maybe this is like you want to serve at your church or you want— you have like a charity that you want to volunteer for, or you want to be a dog walker for your local dog rescue shelter. Like, there's a lot of ways that we can just start getting into service and passion so that we spend less time thinking about ourselves and being in the inner, inner critic. Number 7 is to write down what you are thinking or what your inner critical voice is telling you, right? To actually Write it down.

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So if you're truly having like a spiral moment where you're having lots of negative thoughts, I would encourage— this is a good one for that. If it's not like one singular thing, but you've actually done the whole domino and you're like, shit, I'm like fully in a hole right now of like, I've convinced myself that I'm completely stuck in life and I don't know what to do and all these things are wrong and I don't know what to fix first. If you've gone that far down the rabbit hole, this is the one that I would say definitely do. Write everything down that you're thinking and that you're telling yourself. Or better yet, say it out loud to someone that you trust. Or you can, if you don't have someone in your life who you feel like is a safe space to tell it to, like a coach or a therapist or, you know, a close friend who gets it, is on a similar vibe to you, you can voice record it in your phone. So maybe you're in the car all by yourself and instead of having to write it all out, you just start the voice recording and you just talk it out loud. Like, I'm thinking this, that, the other thing. I'm telling myself that I'm not worthy and I can't have these things and I'll I'll never get there and it's going to take too long and I don't know any of the answers and I'm so stuck. And you just, you talk it all out because here's what's going to happen. It's immediately going to reduce the power that those thoughts have over you and it's going to seem 10 times more ridiculous and false than how it felt in your mind. And that's really important because as soon as you see it on the paper or you listen to it back on the voice recording or you hear yourself saying it out loud to your friend or your coach or whoever, you're going to be like, oh my God, even just saying this out loud, like, I feel kind of cringy because it feels so dumb and false. And it's not that it's dumb or false and that you shouldn't say it. It's just that you've completely taken the power out of it. And that's the whole point of doing this exercise, is getting rid of the power that these thoughts are having over you. And the way that I kind of think about this one, I'm trying to think of like a way to describe this, right? So let me, let me, let me know if if this analogy, if this metaphor tracks for you. I feel like it's kind of like the popular guy in school. Like when you were in high school and there was this guy and everyone thinks he's so hot and he's, you know, super popular, whatever. You take that guy out of school and you put him in the real world a few years later and you come across him and you're like, he immediately goes from like a 10 to like a 5 real fast. You know what I mean? It's like as soon as you take him out of that echo chamber environment where there's not a bunch of voices reinforcing and validating him, and it's not your, your own opinion of this person is not being infected by everybody else reinforcing it, you can actually see it for what it is. And you're like, oh my God, I can't believe I like thought that this person was some like god during high school and they were so, you know, far out of my league or beyond me or like had all these things that I could never have or was unattainable. Like, it just gets real, really fast when you remove that popular guy out of that echo chamber environment and you just plop him down into the real world at his desk job and you're like, oh, you know what I mean? He has so much less power than what you were giving to him in high school. And it's the same thing. You remove the thought from the mind, which is the echo chamber of everyone going, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's true. Oh my God, we're so fucked. You remove it from the mind and you put it somewhere else in a new environment and you go, oh my God, like, that doesn't even seem real anymore. That doesn't even seem true. That is so dumb. And so this is a really, really great way to kind of diffuse the negative thought spiral. Okay. Number 8 is to recognize the alternate realities that you are creating in your mind. We also talk about alternate realities in From Burnout to Badass. So we're— we'll cover this topic just super briefly for this number 8, but we are all always creating alternate realities. We are building worlds in our mind unknowingly, and we just want to become aware of the fact that we are doing this. And so what I basically mean by this is to really stop pretending Or thinking that you know what other people are thinking about you. That's an example of one. That's a way that we create alternate realities in our minds is we're like, oh my God, they're all thinking this about me. They're all saying this about me, blah, blah, blah. Most of the time you're just making that up. Like, that's in your own brain. You don't even know what they're thinking or doing or saying in regards to you. You don't even know if they are remembering you or thinking about you at all. If you know, if not positively. So stop pretending that you know what's going on and that you know what all these people are thinking about you, or that you know how happy everybody else is, or that you know how perfect their families are, or how they don't have any trauma, or how stress-free and easy everything is for them. Stop pretending that you know things that you don't actually know. Stop creating these alternate realities where everybody else has it easier and everything is so good for them and why me? Like, just recognize that that's a figment of your imagination and it's a reality you're creating in your mind that's not helpful to you. It's not lifting you up, it's bringing you down. And so it's one of those things that we want to trim the fat on, right? And even just recognizing that that is what you're doing is enough to start to shift it, even if you did nothing else. But you just want— you know what? I actually am realizing that this, this person that I'm seeing on social media, I don't know anything about what happens to them behind closed doors. I know that they appear happy. I don't know if they are actually happy. I know that they appear to be healthy. I don't know what they actually do to get that body. Like, just stop pretending that we know. And that brings a lot of freedom. Like, that is truly liberating in and of itself. Just that simple shift. Number 9 is to tidy up your space. And this is one for all my people that are like, I don't want a mindset shift, I want something to actually do. I know some of you love homework. So if you're the type of person that's like, okay, in order to get out of this, I need to actually do something, the next 2 tips are for you. And so this one is to tidy up your space. Clutter out is clutter in. When you have a clean space, you have a clean mind. And so if you are having like a lot of negative thoughts or you're overthinking or the inner critic is going wild, one of the best things that you can do for yourself is clean up your space, whatever that is for you. If it, if it's happening to you a lot at work, then you need to clean out your desk. You need to get stuff off. Maybe you need to redecorate your little cubicle or wherever you work, but you need to make it a clean, clear, fresh space. Um, if it's happening for you a lot around like body image, maybe it's your closet, maybe it's like clothes, it's getting rid of things that don't fit you, clean up the space. And also the space doesn't have to be directly connected to your— the sort of thoughts that you're having, the overthinking. Those are just some examples. But if you're just like overthinking a lot in general, or you're having a lot of inner critical thoughts, like tidy up literally any space. Or just do like a spring sort of cleaning of your house where you clean the windows and you actually clean the floors and you do more of like a deep clean. The way that everybody knows the way that you feel after your home is like you've fully cleaned it, you feel like a new bitch. Like you're just a whole new fucking person after you clean up. Why is that? Because a clean space is a clean mind. So if you're having— if you— if your mind feels dirty and murky and gross, then clean up your space and that will be reflected in your internal world as well. And number 10 is to get out of your head and into your body. So there's a lot of ways to do this. You can walk, you can run, you can bike, move, exercise, stand barefoot on the earth, get out in nature, go for a hike, jump in the pool, swim at the beach, get in a waterfall, like whatever you have access to. Practice yoga, take 5 deep breaths, even that simple. So you're at work, right? And you don't have— you're like, Sam, I don't, I don't live in Costa Rica. I don't have a fucking waterfall to go jump in. In order to get out of my thoughts. Okay, that's fine. Take 5 deep breaths. We're gonna do it right now, and you're gonna notice how much better you feel. So we're going to close our eyes if you have the ability to do so. If you're driving, please keep your eyes open. We're going to close our eyes and we're going to take a deep breath in through the nose, first filling the belly with air and then letting it fill the lungs. And lastly, lifting the chest slightly. Big deep inhale. And exhaling it out through the mouth. Long and slow. Again, we're gonna inhale in through the nose. Filling the belly, filling the chest. And exhaling it out through the mouth long and slow. Again, in through the nose, deep breath, and exhale it out, letting the shoulders drop on the way down. Again, inhaling in through the nose Filling the belly, filling the chest, feeling the spine get taller, and exhaling it out through the mouth, releasing everything, dropping the shoulders, releasing all the muscles in the face. Last one, deep breath into the nose. And exhale it out long and slow through the mouth, allowing your energy to settle like the snow in a snow globe, watching it float gently down to the bottom. Letting everything be soft. And then opening your eyes. That was really simple. And if you actually practiced it with us, I'm sure that you feel at least 1% better, if not 5, 10, 20, or 50%. It's amazing what your breath, just your breath, can do. So getting out of your head and getting into your body. If you want to practice this one on a daily basis, maybe you take 5 deep breaths before every meal. That also helps with digestion. So that's a great, actually a great thing to try and implement. Or maybe you just do 2 or 3, you know, whatever you have time for. Maybe you start going for a daily walk. Maybe that's something that you used to do or you want to re-implement it. Maybe you want to start moving your body more and doing whatever feels good for you in that way. But creating these sort of routines or rituals of things that allow us to not just be so cerebral all the time. We spend a lot of time in our heads, especially because we work for most of the day, and most of our day requires us to just be sitting in a chair using our brain. Or maybe you don't sit for a lot of your day, but a lot of our work for most people is up in the head. And so we have to have things in our life that bring us back down into the body. And so figuring out whatever works for you, it doesn't have to be about like burning calories or whatever. It's really just about like using this vessel of this body that we've been given so that we can give our, our minds a break, getting out of the head and getting into the body. I hope this episode was helpful for you guys. If you enjoyed it, please take a screenshot and share it to your Instagram stories. Tag me at underscore @SamanthaDaily and @MakeShiftHappenPodcast so that I can see you and see who's listening to the show. Thank you guys so much for tuning in over and over again. You make this show everything that it is. I love reading your reviews. If you haven't left us one yet, I encourage you to do so. If you would be so kind to take a minute and write a few words about what you love about this podcast on the podcast app on Apple or on Spotify, you can leave us the 5 stars. You just click the 5-star button right under underneath the title of the podcast if you're listening on Spotify. That's a super easy and fast way to support the show, and I really, really appreciate it. Thank you guys for tuning in. I love you all. Have a positive week, and I'll see you next time. Bye!