6 Ways to Become the BOSS of Your Own Life

Welcome to the Makeshift Happen podcast. I'm your host, Samantha Daly, entrepreneur, life coach, and your no BS bestie, here to bring you all things mindset, manifestation, and personal development. This podcast is designed to help you expand your mind and uplevel your life. So turn the volume up and roll the windows down if you're coming along for the ride. Let's go make shit happen. What's up guys, welcome back to the podcast. Thank you so much for being here. I love you, I appreciate you. The— can we just talk about like the podcast is growing so fast and that is all because of you guys. Like, we hit 100,000 downloads in July, I think it was. And just in the past couple of months, like, we are— we've now surpassed 150,000 downloads. Like, we're— the past couple of months, we've grown so rapidly, so quickly. So if you're new around here, also, hi, welcome! Thank you so much for being here. I'm so excited to have you in our little community and to hang out with you every single Wednesday while you're walking your dog or doing your laundry or cleaning your house or driving to work or doing whatever you're doing. And it really feels like such an honor to me to be in your ears and coming through your speakers of your stereo or your phone or your AirPods or wherever you are. So yeah, I just wanted to say a little thank you and let you guys know how much I love you and appreciate you. And also to everyone who shares the podcast and gets their friends on it, you guys are the best. So today I've got a solo episode coming for you and I actually really like this topic, so I'm excited to dive in. But today's episode is going to be about 6 different ways that you can start being the boss of your own life, right? So I'm going to cover the 6. I just did a little brainstorm for myself. I, I really like this concept of being the boss of your own life, and I was thinking about writing an Instagram caption about being the boss of your own life and what that means to me. And then I just started brainstorming all these ideas that I feel like go into really being the boss of your own life. And I was like, you know what, fuck it, let's just— we're going to make this a whole podcast episode, cuz you know your girl is— summarizing has never been my strong suit. Even in school, we— I remember we had to do these things for— this is such a random memory that just came through for me, but I remember in high school in my history class, we would have to read a chapter of the history book, and then there was some acronym. I can't remember what it was, but it was like the— this 4-letter acronym that would tell us, I guess, like how to summarize the entire chapter. Like part of it was like dates or important things, facts, like, and whatever. And mine was always— I would write like 3 pages, and my teacher's like, this is amazing, this is incredible, I obviously know you're reading and understanding and comprehending, but like you could do less. I feel like that's— that is, um, actually weirdly a theme for my life of like can you just like do a little less, Sam? I think you could just do less. Um, so yeah, I mean, that's something for me to reflect on, I guess, as I sit here and think about that. I think that's like my biggest struggle in life, honestly, is like, how do I just— how do I do less? You know, how do I do less? Which reminds me, um, last week on the podcast I shared with you guys a leaked coaching session from, from Burned Out to Badass, um, where my friend Sam Altieri, who's also a coach, came inside of that program and did a little session with the women. And so I— Sam and I like talk regularly and we're in a mastermind together and stuff. And so I, I got this prompt from another coaching program that I'm in that asked us to send a message to someone that we know asking them where we think we're limiting ourselves. I think that was the question. It was like, where am I limiting myself? And so I was like, who could I send this to? Because they were like, don't send it to someone who, you know, was just gonna like ruffle your feathers or whatever the saying is, you know, like puff your ego up in a sense. Like, don't ask your mom because she's gonna be like, you're doing great, honey. Or at least like my mom probably would. She'd be like, I don't think you're limiting yourself at all. So anyway, I chose to text Sam because I knew she would like give me a good answer. So yeah, it was, what ways do you think I'm limiting myself? So I sent that to her and she sent back a voice message and she was like, I honestly think you're limiting yourself by working too much. So it was like, you're limiting yourself by by doing too much. Can you just do a little bit less? I think you should do less. So anyway, that was a random tangent I wasn't expecting to go on, um, but whenever I sit down to have these conversations with you guys, they, they, they end up serving me in some way too because I really am conversing with myself. It's like a form of therapy. So if that resonates for you and you feel like you're always pushing and going and creating and doing the next thing and You know, with— as soon as you achieve something, you're like, amazing, okay, on to the next. What's the next big goal? What's the next thing I'm moving towards? How can I keep this momentum alive? Like, don't, don't slow down at all. Like, let's just keep going. If that's you, then maybe this is just like a beautiful cosmic reminder to like take a deep breath and do a little reflection on how far you've actually come and how much shit you actually do do. Because I think when you're stuck in this masculine energy of like, I just need to do more, create more, be more, be better, get the next thing, achieve the next goal, you— it's easy to forget and to just be totally blind to the fact that you actually are doing a lot of shit and you're accomplishing a lot of shit and you're achieving a lot of shit. And so just, you know, maybe this is a reminder to like sit and take a breath and light a candle and pull out your journal and just reflect on What have I done in the past 6, 9, 12 months? What— how have I changed? What have I been learning about myself, about my internal world, about the external world around me? How have my views changed? How is my ability to, you know, choose my path or show up more confidently or set boundaries or stand in the truth of what I want— like, how has that evolved and changed? And just really think about the progress that you've made, you know. For all my masculine energy queens just trying to learn how to sit the fuck down and chill out and receive, right? Which is— we will talk a little bit about this in these tips today for becoming your own boss, or becoming the boss of your own life rather. So let's go ahead and dive into the first thing. So tip number 1, if you guys want to take notes on this, now's the time. Get your notes app out, get your journal out, whatever you fancy, because I'm going to run you through these 6 things. The first thing is building extreme levels of self-awareness. Like extreme levels. It's never, it's never enough and it's never done when we get into the realm of self-awareness, but really truly knowing yourself on a deep level, knowing your triggers, knowing your fears, knowing what provokes shame inside of you, knowing what you are not comfortable being vulnerable about, vulnerable about, knowing what's challenging for you to share, what's easy for you to share. What your strengths are, but also what your weaknesses are. Knowing what your core fear is, what your core motivator is, knowing your value system, like knowing yourself on just a deep, profound level. Knowing your attachment style, knowing your patterns in relationships. Knowing the ways in which you react and respond to family and friends and comments of certain nature, you know, deep levels of self-awareness that is perpetual and never-ending. But I think this is an important piece of becoming the boss of your own life, because it's really hard to direct a ship or be the captain of a ship that you don't know the ins and outs of. You know, you can keep spinning the wheel and checking the compass and going where you think that the ship should be going, but you need to know— you need to know what seas you're navigating, you know? Like, you need to know the depths of the territory that you are navigating in order to get ultimately where you're trying to go. So building deep levels of self-awareness, and you know, some people will be like, okay, well, how do I do that? Um, and I think the thing for me that has been the most transformational in building deep levels of self-awareness has been working with coaches and being inside of programs where I'm asked really intelligent and thought-provoking questions. Like, I think, you know, sometimes it is hard to do this, to do our own level of, of self-introspection, because we only know what we know, right? We don't know what we don't know. So we're not going to be able to ask ourselves certain questions that we've never thought of before or never asked ourselves before, right? And so that's where I think it's really valuable to get somebody else's perspective and have somebody else asking these really really interesting questions that help you delve deeper into yourself and understanding who you are and your makeup. And there's all kinds of tools that you can utilize as well, like millions of different kinds of personality tests and things like that. And maybe, um, having an astrology reading done, or having a Human Design reading done, or, you know, working with a hypnotherapist or something to go deeper into your subconscious, or Um, past life regression, for example. You guys probably know, or maybe you don't, but I recently got certified in past life regression therapy, so earlier, um, this year. And so that's an interesting modality as well of being able to go deep into the depths of your subconscious mind and retrieve these memories from past lives. And that's a whole— that's like peeling back a whole nother layer of self-awareness, right, of Okay, so this is what my soul has traversed through in past lifetimes. How is that impacting me now? You know, how does that show up for me? What am I maybe still carrying? What is left for me to heal? Generational trauma, childhood trauma, attachment styles. Like, there's so much that we can learn about ourselves. And I never— I don't think the journey is ever done, because as we continue to grow and evolve and change and reach new levels of life and circumstances, we will be cracked open in new ways, and we will be required to learn new bits and pieces and parts of ourselves that we couldn't have learned before, or that we couldn't have been prepared for. So this is like perpetual, it's never-ending. And also books are a great way to do this as well, you know. If like therapy or coaching or counseling are inaccessible or unavailable to you at this time, there's so many books by, you know, amazing coaches or psychologists or thought leaders, and just Diving in there and finding a way to learn more about yourself in that way. So building self-awareness, building an extreme level of self-awareness is number one. Number two for becoming the boss of your own life is personal boundaries. Now, personal boundaries, I, the reason, you know, there's that saying that's like, we teach what we most need to learn. This is, this is one of those moments for me because I'm really, really great at external boundaries and being able to kind of like set limits with my time with other people or in my business. And you know, when clients can book with me and when they can expect responses from me and you know, how often and, and when I'm communicating with them and setting boundaries like that. I am not so good at setting personal boundaries with myself. Okay.

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So I think boundaries of all kinds are valuable and are a good, a good part of being the boss of your own life. But the reason that I have specified specifically personal boundaries is because it's one that is a struggle for me. It's something that I'm still trying to navigate. And so personal boundaries is really like keeping your own word, like setting, setting boundaries and limits for yourself. And this kind of goes back to what I was talking about in the beginning of like, hey, can you just like do a little bit less? Can you like chill the fuck out? Like this This is where this comes into play of like, I need boundaries around doing less. I need stronger personal boundaries around this is the time that I clock out, and this is the time that I reserve for rest, and this is the time that I reserve for fun, and this is the time that I reserve for deep connection or being present with my partner. Like, I'm not so good at that. I don't always keep my word on that. I think I'm great at coming up with ideas about how I could do that potentially, but then when push comes to shove and I'm really busy, or I would— I have a lot of work that I want to get done, I will always choose work over rest. And that, like, again, kind of goes back into tip number 1 about deep self-awareness. I know why that is for myself. I know where that comes from. I know the messaging that I received as a child and the interpretations that I created in my own mind about the world and what success meant. And I know my Enneagram type, that I'm a Type 3, I'm the Achiever. I know that my core My fear is failure. And so I'm really motivated by upholding an image and an appearance of doing things well and being successful and knowing what's going on. And so like, I, there's, I've done step one of the deep self-awareness. I know exactly why this is all, this is a struggle for me. Um, but having strong personal boundaries is definitely part of being the boss of your own life. Because if you're the boss of you, you need to be able to boss you, right? I suck at bossing myself because I'm like, okay, Sam, you're going to do this. And then when that time comes, I'm like, actually, no, we're just going to do something else. That's not, you know, that's not— if I were a boss in an organization or in a company and every time I told my employees to do something, they were just like, nah, We're not going to do it. Like, I would get fired. I would not be bossing very well. So this is why I think personal boundaries is relevant to this conversation today. And I just wanted to share with you guys like ways in which I do struggle with personal boundaries in some ways, you know? So doing what you say that you're going to do, being able to set boundaries and limits for yourself that serve you and help you to either grow or deepen or expand or rest or just care for yourself on another level is really important. And also, when you do what you say that you're going to do, you build another level of rapport with yourself, of trust, of consistency, of knowing that you're the type of person that keeps their word, right? Like, I don't, I don't keep my word to myself all the time. I break it sometimes. Well, like with personal boundaries specifically. And so if I want to be a better boss of my own life, I need to be able to keep my word with what I say that I'm going to do. And I need to build more trust in myself of knowing when I set a limit and when I say this is what I'm gonna do, or this is when I'm gonna be done, or this is what I'm not gonna do, I need to know that I'm actually gonna follow through on that. You know, and this is another part of the self-awareness piece of like, it's very clear where my values lie because that's where it's easier for me to be consistent. It's so easy for me to be consistent with this podcast because I love working, right? It's less easy for me to be consistent with a morning routine or a wake-up time or a designated rest time or a designated don't-touch-your-phone, don't-check-your-DMs, don't-be-in-Slack, don't-read-your-emails time, right? My— I value work and achieving and success And the specifically like in the realm of the work that I do, because I do do work that I honestly care about and I love it and I'm so passionate about it and it feels purposeful and it feels fun. Like I think that's the tricky thing too, is like, because my work is fun and I fucking love it, it makes it even harder for me to respect my own personal boundaries. But that's my problem, not your problem. But just, I think it's relevant that we probably all in our own way, whatever it looks like for you. Need to get better at respecting our personal boundaries, doing what we say that we're going to do and not doing what we say that we're not going to do, and honoring our word to ourself to become a better boss of our own life. So that's number 2. Number 3 is being able to adapt to your unique makeup. So again, it's important that we've put self-awareness as number 1 because you'll see how all of these kind of— all roads lead back to knowing about yourself. All roads lead back to self-awareness. Being able to adapt to your unique makeup means knowing enough about yourself to know what works for you and what doesn't, right? I think a lot of us struggle to be the boss of our own lives because we're comparing the way that we operate and the way that we do things with the way that everybody else operates and does things. And the truth of it is just that The way that somebody else works well is not going to be the way that you work well, right? Somebody else's morning routine, you're not going to be able to just slap it on your life and make it work. Somebody else's work hours or how they work from home or their strategy for eating healthy or, you know, their meditation routine or whatever. If you just try and like take that and take what works for everybody else and put it onto your life, it's not going to work. This is why we fail so often with showing up for things or committing to new goals, because we, we're looking outwardly for the answers. We're seeing how everybody else is doing something. We're like, oh wow, she works out 6 days a week, I should be doing that, I should be able to do that. So then we set a goal. Okay, I just need to get more focused, I just need to have more willpower, I'm gonna work out 6 days a week. And then You try to make yourself work out 6 days a week, and for some reason, whatever it is for you uniquely, it doesn't work because the person that it works for is not you. And that's okay. And part of this tip, part of this number 3, is allowing and honoring that what works for everybody else is not going to work for you and letting that be okay. So understanding your unique makeup, your personality type, how you— your attachment style, like we talked about, your— how you show up in relationships, how you function in work. Um, you know, a big conversation in the entrepreneurial space is around ADHD and how many of us actually have certain levels of ADHD that we may not even be aware of. But understanding how your unique brain works and Understanding that you may not be able to sit down at a desk and be deeply focused for 3 hours without taking a break, or understanding that you may not be the type of person that is able to wake up at 5 or 6 in the morning. And maybe your hours of productivity are actually, like me, from like 11 AM, 10, 11 AM to like 5. So I adapt to that, and I don't force myself to wake up at 5 or 6 anymore. I wake up at like 7:30 or 8 in the morning, which is usually really surprising to people because everybody thinks that to be a successful anything, you need to wake up at 4 AM, wake up in the dark and drink protein and whatever, you know. But that doesn't work for me. It's not my chronotype, it's not my body type, it's not how I operate. And I'm allowing that to be okay, and I just have to work with that. So I don't take clients, I don't start work until 10 AM because that is when my, my own mental capacity for productivity begins. And I just have to know that about myself. So being able to adapt to your unique makeup and not trying to conform to the ways which everybody else does what they do, whether it's with their routines or with their work hours or with their schedule or structure or parenting or whatever it is, right? Adapt to your unique makeup and allow that to be okay. Number 4 is taking radical responsibility for the results that you are getting or not getting in your life. And again, we'll loop it back to self-awareness and being able to understand that everything that we're experiencing in our life right now today here in the present is to some degree a reflection of the person that we have been and the ways that we have showed up or not shown up. And that's just the way the cookie crumbles. And we have to be willing to take radical responsibility for the results that we're getting or not getting— the results in our relationships, the results in our career, the results in our finances, the results in our interpersonal relationships or friend and family relationships. You know, we have to be able to sit with ourselves. We have to develop a deep enough level of self-awareness and understanding to be able to recognize and see, yeah, I could see, I could see why I am where I am, for the good and for the bad. Right? If I could learn— which I am in real time, but I'm just not fully there yet, and I don't know that we're ever fully there, like, I think that's silly— but if I could learn to do less and to let go more and to surrender more and to receive more and to be okay with doing less, there's a part of me that knows that I would be more successful and I would be happier and I would be more fulfilled. And I believe I will get there because I have my, you know, Sagittarian energy of perpetual optimism. And like, I am— I'm learning in real time and I'm growing and I'm, I'm getting better at these things, but but I'm willing to sit here and recognize, like, it's nobody else's fault that I live the way that I live. It's nobody else's fault that sometimes I work 10 hours a day. It's nobody else's fault anything that's going on in my life, you know. Another thing that I really struggle with is long-distance relationships of any kind. Um, I'm not a very good long-distance friend or daughter or sister. I don't call my family or my friends not nearly often enough. And that's on me. That's on me. So when I get sad that I haven't talked to my friends in a long time, or, you know, that I haven't— that I don't maybe know all the milestones or what's going on with my nephew or whatever, I'm not like, oh, poor me. I'm like, you know what? That makes sense. Because I could call more and I don't.

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And taking radical responsibility is just like It's never fun, which is why it's part of that deep level of self-awareness. Because someone who's mature enough and emotionally intelligent enough and self-aware enough to be like, yep, I got this result and it's on me, is, you know, that's someone who, yeah, has just a, a different level of understanding and knowing and maturity. So in order to be a really good boss of your own life, I think that you need that. You need the ability to be like, This is where I've gone absolutely right. I crushed that. I'm going to take full responsibility for my wins because fuck yeah, that's amazing. Go me. And also, this is where I maybe shit the bed a little bit, or I could be doing better, and my results are a reflection of that. And okay, note taken, right? We have to be able to do that. Then number 5. Is to be brave enough to make your own decisions for yourself. And I love this one so much. I love this one so much because I think as women, a lot of times we, we can be indecisive. We can feel like— I've had friends before that like literally can't even order off of a menu. Without having to ask somebody else what they're getting, or basically like looking for confirmation or permission that their choice is a good choice, or like literally going to order and then totally choking and like ordering something different than what they actually wanted. Like, there's a level of indecision that we live with and that we accept that is just not acceptable. We have to be able to make our own decisions for ourselves, even if it's something as simple as that, as ordering off the menu genuinely what you want to order without asking the other person, well, what are you gonna get? Like, how about we just fuck what the other person's gonna get for a second and get what you want to get? Or when you go shopping and you want buy a shirt or a jacket or a pair of jeans, don't take a picture and text it to your friend group or to your mom or to your sister and be like, do you like these? Do you think I should get these? If you like them and you think you should get them, then you should just get them, you know? So these are ways where we can start to do this on, on a small level, on a small scale, so that we are building that bravery muscle and that self-trust muscle. So that we can actually do it on a bigger scale when the time comes. And so, you know, this idea around being brave enough to make your own decisions has a lot to do with knowing yourself— again, looping back to self-awareness, hello— um, and being in touch with your intuition and your inner knowing, knowing what you desire, knowing what you want and being able to hear that voice, being able to feel that gut feeling and trusting yourself enough to follow it. And I was listening to Glennon Doyle's podcast the other day, um, We Can Do Hard Things, and they were having a whole conversation around bravery. And there was a couple things that really stood out to me that I wanted to share with you that kind of paired nicely with this point around being brave enough to make your own decisions. And they were, they were kind of discussing bravery and like what it— what does it actually mean to be brave? And they were having this back and forth of, oh, being brave is feeling the fear and doing it anyway. And Glennon was like, but sometimes that's not it. Sometimes being brave is feeling the fear and being able to choose to not do the thing because not doing the thing is what's actually best for you, even though it may be unpopular or be perceived as unbrave from the outside, right? And so the kind of like conclusion that they came to when trying to define this idea of bravery was that bravery is lonely clarity, like just knowing something, being clear on something of what's right for you or what's not right for you, all on your own. In a totally lonesome moment that nobody else can tell you what's right or wrong. Nobody else can tell you if it's good or bad or if it's going to work out or if it's not. It's lonely clarity. It's understanding that you are the expert of what's best for you and being able to execute on that and act from that place even when it doesn't make sense. To other people, even when no one around you agrees, even when it may look crazy to some people or foolish or stupid or dumb from the outside. Having that lonely internal clarity of like, no, I know this to be true for me. This is what I will do, or this is what I will not do. And they brought up this quote in the episode by some guy. I don't even know who he is. Is he famous? I don't know. Let me know. Jeremy Goldberg. And the quote was, "Courage is knowing that it might hurt and doing it anyway, and stupidity is the same." Which is why life is so hard, because courage and stupidity are you know, from the outside, objectively the same. And that's why we need to have this level of bravery to be able to make our own decisions, because nobody else is ever going to be you. Nobody else is ever going to know what's right for you 100%, you know. You can't move through your entire life just asking other people 'What would you do? What would you do? What would you do?' Because they're not you. They live their life through an entirely different lens than you do. Even if you think that they have such a good head on their shoulders, they have such a strong North Star in their life, they've got this direction, they know where they're going— nobody else is you. They haven't had your experiences. They haven't had your traumas. They haven't had your subconscious programming. They haven't had your societal conditioning. They haven't lived your life, and they don't have the same desires on their heart and the same hierarchy of values. Nobody is you. That's what that— that's what that phrase means. Like, when people say, like, nobody is you and that's your superpower, it's like nobody can ever actually tell you what to do or what you should do, because the only person that actually knows what you should do is you. It's only ever been you. It'll only ever be you. So if you want to feel like you are in control of your life and that you're in this confident place of being the boss of your own life, then you need to be brave enough to start making your own dang decisions, regardless of how they're perceived or what people think of them or what they say or what they'll do or whatever else. So that's number 5. And the last one, number 6, is— which I almost didn't even put this one on here because I'm like, 5 just sounds so much better than 6, but that's my perfectionism. So then I was like, fuck you, Sam, share it. It doesn't matter if the episode is called 6 Ways instead of 5 Ways. So here's number 6. It's like a little bonus one. Because it's, you know, I was thinking about, okay, what is, what is it, what does an actual boss do, right? If you think about the traditional sense of a boss, and I think all these other points are of a certain energy, and then this one is, is a little bit different, it stands out. And so number 6 is being able to delegate, ask for help, and receive support. And so the other 1s are kind of about, you know, building your self-awareness, setting your personal boundaries, staying to your word, doing what you say you're going to do, adapting to your unique makeup, you know, designing your life to be a fit for your personality and how you operate and who you are, taking radical responsibility for your results, being brave enough to make your own decisions. It's all of this like very doing kind of energy, which is fitting for just me and my life and this whole fucking episode. And then this last point is really more about the receiving. It's more about the doing less. Oh my gosh, full circle. I literally, like, when I planned what I was going to talk about for this episode, I had no idea I was going to do that introductory part about me doing less. That was totally random. So I love that this is coming full circle as we hit this last point. So why is this important? Why should we be able to delegate? And what does that mean in life, right? We know what it means in the office. We know what it means in business, like give the task to somebody else. But what can this look like in life? And so a lot of my clients that maybe struggle to tune into their feminine energy to some capacity, and they're like, I just want to be able to surrender more. I want to be able to receive more. How do I get into excuse me, how do I get into my feminine energy? Because I think a lot of times we're like, oh, feminine energy is like pleasure or sex or dance or, you know, flowing movement or whatever else may come to mind when you think of feminine, feminine energy. And so a really practical way to get into the feminine energy without dancing or touching yourself is to practice receiving. And so delegating could mean allowing your partner or your roommates or your family to help you with something, to do the laundry, to fold the clothes, to run the dishwasher, to take over some element of your kid's routine that normally you're in charge of, to make the bed. I don't know why it's like all household tasks that are coming to mind, but you get the idea. Like asking for, for help, being able to receive support. If you are really stuck in masculine energy, that's likely something that you struggle with. You want to be in control. So we love control of all kinds. We want to control how the dishwasher is done and how everything is stacked, and we want to control how the towels are folded, and we want to control how the laundry is done. We want to control on what days we do this and how the kids' lunches are packed and who's doing this or that and who helps with homework and how this is done and how we write this certain thing on the, on the to-do list. Or, you know, it's like we just love control. And so to get more into this feminine energy and to delegate and ask for help allows us to actually be in the process of learning how to receive. Can you let somebody help you? Can you give away one thing that's on your plate? First of all, can you ask for the support? That's part of it, of being able to ask for help and ask for support. And then can you actually receive? That support by not correcting the way that somebody else does it, or being annoyed or frustrated by the way that somebody does it, or redoing the way that somebody else does it, and actually just allowing the way that they do it to be enough because it means that you don't have to do it. And this is a practice. This is a practice. I talk about this, you know, ways that it's shown up in my life and my relationship is that Jaime now does a lot of the household chores, which is probably why those are like the main examples coming to mind. But it's not, it's not all of those things. You know, if you love to drive, for example, and you want to drive, maybe you let your partner or your friend or somebody else drive, or you love to be the DJ and control the music and have the aux cord in the car. Aux cord. Oh my God, that just— do people even use those anymore? It's like all Bluetooth now. Okay. Um, yes, I'm old. So, you know, just letting somebody else do it, like things that you are kind of like gripping onto for control, just seeing what it would feel like to A, ask for somebody else to do it or to take it off your plate. Or inviting somebody else to do it and take it off your plate, and then being able to receive them doing it and allowing them to do it for you. And, and, you know, you're likely to have feelings about that and be like, oh, it's not as good as if I did it, or whatever. But practicing sitting with that and recognizing that and questioning that, asking yourself, why is that? You know, and after a while, if you continue this practice you'll start to realize that it doesn't bother you as much anymore. It's not as frustrating anymore. You really don't care. And so what I was going to say is Jaime does a lot of the household chores now, and at first it was like really hard for me to let go of that. Like, I wouldn't even look— I couldn't even— he'd be like, oh, I can just go to the grocery store myself, and I'd be like, no, I really want to come with you. And I would, I would insist on going because I'm like, he's not going to get the things that I want to get, and then I'm gonna have to make a list and send him the list and basically like be babysitter, which I never had to do. I was just forcing myself to think that I needed to do that. Or he would fold the laundry and I'd be like, now I'm just gonna have to refold all my clothes because I can't actually tell if these are folded or not, honestly. Like, what is this pile? But now I just don't care. I just don't care. And I'm so much better at receiving it because it makes my life easier. It makes my life more flowy. It makes my life more spacious. It makes my life more enjoyable and more fun. And you know what? It empowers the other person as well. It empowers this other person in your life to feel like they can do something without being corrected, that they can do something well, that they are a contributor to the household or to the partnership or to the friendship, or that they bring something to the table, you know, like, I think it's just such a win-win being able to delegate, ask for help, and receive support. And the last thing I'll say on this is that sometimes asking and receiving support can be for things like therapy or counseling or coaching. If you are struggling mentally or you are someone who deals with certain mental health struggles, or you have past traumas that you want to work through, or even just like old patterns that you're really sick of, or you want to become more confident, or you want to break through the self-sabotage, or, you know, you want to treat yourself better, you want to talk to yourself better, you want to have a better relationship with yourself— instead of thinking that you have to do that all on your own, and you should have learned it by now, and you should know how to do it, it's being strong enough to recognize that maybe you don't know how to do it, and that's okay. And so asking for help instead and seeking that out wherever that may be for you, and being like, you know what, I'm ready to receive support on this thing. I would love to feel held and supported on this journey. And asking for that and receiving it. All right, you guys, that is all for today's episode. If you loved it, please take a screenshot and share to your Instagram stories or send it to a friend or a family member who you think would enjoy this episode. I appreciate you guys so much for showing up here every single week and tuning in. I love you so much, and I'll see you soon. Bye!