Are We Too Obsessed With Healing & Self-Optimization?

What's up, you guys? Welcome back to the podcast. I'm here for a solo episode today and we're going to be talking about this idea of healing and kind of unpacking whether or not we're becoming too obsessed with it. Are we too obsessed with healing? That's what we're going to talk about. This is a question that I've been pondering myself. I've been seeing it show up in different places, masterminds that I'm in. Conversations with clients, friends in the personal development space. And yeah, I don't know if my entire thought process or position is like fully formed on this, but I think it's an interesting thing to think about and consider and ponder in our lives. So where would I bring something like that? I'd bring it to you guys, to the podcast.

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Now, we throw the word obsession around a lot these days. Oh, I'm so obsessed with that. I'm obsessed with this product. I'm obsessed with this person. But when I'm referring to, like, obsession, I'm talking about true obsession, right? Something that is— it's to a point where it's unhealthy how much you focus on it, right? That's what an actual— that's what a true obsession is. I think we've just overused that word and in culture and kind of put it in a different box of like contextually what we associate it with or what it means. But I'm referring to like true obsession, right? So anything that you decide to focus on overwhelmingly in your life can develop or become an obsession. And what I had this thought drop in today and this morning, which I was like, okay, this is what inspired me to really do a podcast episode on this is because this thought dropped in so strongly and it said all obsessive behavior is rooted in a belief that if I don't do this, something bad will happen. I feel like it was a download because I heard that in my head and I was like, oh my God, where's my notes app? I have to write that down. That's so good. That's so true. And then I started to kind of go through in my head like, okay, is this actually true in many scenarios? In all scenarios? Can I think of some examples? Like, yeah, is that actually true that all these— all obsessive behavior is rooted in a belief that if I don't do this, something bad will happen? Meaning obsession is really coming from a place of fear. It's coming from a place of lack. And so in that way, we can kind of see how even if you're obsessed with something that is— looks good from the outside, because it's an obsession, it is inherently unhealthy because it's built from a fear-based mindset. So I think a lot of times when we think about like obsession, we might think of things like obsessive-compulsive disorder or eating disorders or, you know, things that you— that seem almost like out of your control because you can't get a grip on it or it's just kind of consumed you or controlled you. And it's a behavior that is repeated and it's obsessive and it's really unhealthy. But it's also true that we can become obsessed with positive things, right? Like I was saying, eating healthy, working out, healing ourselves, healing our bodies, our minds, our past traumas. And while all of those things are inherently kind of seen as good things, right, it's also true that, you know, good things can become harmful when it's obsessive. So I started to go through in my mind trying to think of examples of how this might show up. And is this really true? This download that I had of like all obsessive behavior is rooted in a belief that if I don't do this, something bad will happen. And so I thought about eating healthy, for example, right? There's a, there's a version of healthy eating where it becomes so obsessive that it's actually classified as an eating disorder, which is known as orthorexia. And so, yeah, eating healthy is amazing. We all want to strive to eat healthy, but when it becomes obsessive, it can also make you sick, right? And so the belief there might be, if I don't eat this way, if I don't eat super clean, if I don't eat super healthy, I will get fat or I'll get sick or I'll get unhealthy, right? So drawing back to this like baseline belief of if I don't do this, insert X behavior that I'm now becoming obsessed with, then something bad will happen to me. So that one checked out. I was like, okay, yes, that's a good example. That makes sense. And then I thought about working out and maybe the belief there is when working out becomes to the point where it's obsessive, right? Not just normally, but we're talking about when these things get to a level where it's an obsessive behavior, that belief might be, if I don't do this, I will lose my muscle mass or I'll get fat or I won't be as attractive or whatever. There's so many things that you could insert in there, but it also checks out of like the fear of not doing— of what will happen what would happen if you stop doing it is the thing that compels you to then do it obsessively. Another example that I thought of was like, okay, let's think about it with saving money. Saving money is amazing, and saving money is good, and it's important and all the things. But of course, there are people that fall into this place where they're so focused on saving because they're in a place of fear and they're in a place of lack that it actually isn't serving them. They actually need to learn how to let go of some of the money. And so the underlying belief There could be something like, if I don't do this, if I don't save this money, I won't be safe, or I'll be considered irresponsible, right? There's a million things. Skincare. If I don't do this, I'll start to age faster or look uglier or look old or less beautiful or whatever it is. Routines and rituals. If I don't do this, whatever the routine or ritual is that's become obsessive, I won't be as productive and I'll make less money, or I won't be seen as a wellness guru anymore, or I won't be respected in my space, or I won't be seen as this biohacker. Like, there's a million things that just checked out for me as I went through this list and was like, wow, that is so true. All obsessive behavior is rooted in a belief that if I don't do this, something bad will happen. And that's the fear that drives us to continue to engage in that behavior in an obsessive way. And there's also this identity piece to it that's important. I think it's worth mentioning of like sometimes if we, if we stop doing something, we can fear that we'll lose our identity as being known as that thing or being seen in that way or being part of that community. So it's like, if I don't do this, anymore, or I don't do it at this level, I don't do it this intensely, then I'm going to lose my identity as the fitness person or as, you know, the go-to insert whatever person, or being known as someone who does this thing or is super healthy or cares about the environment or whatever. Right. There's, there's an identity piece to all the things that we start doing obsessively. And I think there's not only this belief of if I stop doing this, then something bad will happen, but also if I stop doing this, I will lose a piece of who I've constructed myself to be. And it's mostly about how other people are going to take that and less about how we're going to take that, although there's both of those components to it, right? So when you lose that piece of your identity, if you step away from, from the obsessive behavior, that you've really identified with for so long, yes, you lose a piece of your constructed idea of who you are. But then it's also this hurdle in your mind of how am I going to, you know, how are other people going to see me now if I don't do this anymore or if I'm not so strict with this or I'm not the fitness person anymore, I'm not the wellness person or whatever it is. Right. And we really struggle in my experience and conversations that I've had with clients and we really struggle with allowing other people to have their own journey and experience of adapting to our new identities. And we will do a lot to maintain an identity that we've built up for ourselves just so that we don't have to deal with how other people are gonna perceive it or how other people are gonna handle it when we step back or we step completely away from that thing that we identified with for so long. This is one of the big— this is kind of a side note on this topic of being obsessed with healing, but this is one of the, the biggest things I see holding people back from really expressing their most authentic selves and owning their, their authority or their expertise or what they have to share online. Especially at the start, is because they feel like everyone in their life, their friends, their family, have known them to be a certain way, right? Everyone in your life has a constructed identity of who they think that you are. And a lot of that is who you've shown them that you are. But there's also pieces of it that they've built themselves in their mind, right, of how they see you. And once you start to like go on a spiritual journey or you get into something new, whether it's fitness, wellness, personal development, self-growth, spirituality, religion, whatever it is, you go on this journey where you start to like peel back the layers and you become this new version of yourself. You experience the new version of yourself for a lot longer before you ever express it or show it outwardly to others. And it's that initial hurdle of Oh my gosh, like, people are going to think this is so weird. Like, they're not expecting this from me. I'm not this type of person. I don't do these types of things. I'm not this way. I don't talk on my stories. I'm not the health guru. Like, I used to love going out and partying and drinking and smoking and whatever, and now I'm all into this, or I'm sober or whatever. Like, when we start to make changes and we grow and we evolve, our old identities break the fuck down. And one of the biggest Challenges with that is not only accepting it for yourself, but really the biggest challenge I think is accepting how other people are going to potentially react to you showcasing and truly embodying that new version of yourself and allowing people to exit out of your life if they don't resonate with you anymore or if they don't like this new version of you. Like, that's a very scary thing. And so I think when— if we go back to this idea of like certain things that we've become obsessed with and we've built them into our identity, we've kind of like constructed them as part of ourselves and who we are. And now it's how a lot of people see us. It adds so much. It adds another really complicated layer to then removing those things or stepping back from those things or just doing less of those things or identifying less with those things because everybody knows you. In that way. And so it's, it's just another piece that is really challenging for people. So the point being in all of this so far is like even positive things can become toxic when it turns into an obsession. That's kind of like the overall point I'm trying to drive home is there's a lot of positive things that we can get into, but when they become obsessive, they can actually become quite toxic. And I'm sure so many of you have experienced this. I know I know so many women that have had challenging relationships with food and exercise, and I just know so many of you listening to this are going to be able to nod your head and resonate and be like, yes, this thing that I thought was so great and so amazing and so healthy, definitely at one point in my journey, whether it was in the past, present, or whatever, like, turned toxic because I became obsessed with it and I enveloped so much of my identity into that thing. And so the question that I've been asking myself lately is, are we too obsessed with healing? And I started to notice, like, of course, I think everyone will be able to see this, especially if you listen to this podcast because you're really into these types of things and you obviously care about personal development in some capacity, that We went through a really big cultural shift during the pandemic with personal growth, therapy, mindfulness, trauma work. And in general, as a society, we kind of went from being pretty unconscious or low self-awareness prior to the pandemic. A lot of people experienced an awakening during the pandemic, but prior to that, there was a lot of, you know, sleepwalking people, unconscious, low self-awareness. So we went from that to becoming now, 3 years later, hyper-aware of every single thought, feeling, and limiting belief that we have. Obviously, not everyone is included in this category because there's still a lot of people out in the world. You know, I feel like online I'm like, oh my God, everybody is so progressive and so conscious and this is so amazing. And then you go out into the real world and you're like, oh my God, people need so much healing. So not everyone is at this place. But if you've been in the personal development world for several years now and and you have listened to this podcast for a long time, like, I think that you will know what I'm talking about, right? In general, there was a large percentage of the population that went from asleep to awake, unconscious to conscious, low self-awareness to hyper self-awareness, right? And because we hold this belief that everything can be fixed or healed, which I think is a beautiful belief to have, like, yes, please, we don't want to believe that we're stuck with everything or that you know, we're limited to our traumas or our upbringings or our setbacks or our failures or whatever. It's beautiful to believe that everything can be fixed or healed, but because we hold that belief, I think it's heightened our awareness of anything that might be, quote unquote, wrong or blocking us, whether it's with mindset or your health or certain traumas that you may have had in your past, your nervous system, your relationships. You name it, we are hyper-aware of where we fall short and we're borderline obsessed with fixing ourselves. And you may even listen to this podcast or other podcasts as a way to hopefully fix yourself. And I'm saying that in air quotes because I don't believe that you need fixing. But sometimes that is sort of the underlying intention or hope in some roundabout way of why we read certain books or listen to things is like, oh, I just want to like get over this thing about me, or I want to change this thing, or I want to, right, fix myself in some way. And so for me, it feels like we have become truly obsessed with becoming the most optimal version of ourselves. We want optimal health, optimal sleep, optimal stress levels, optimal fitness, optimal morning routines, optimal mindset, optimal self-care, optimal relationships, optimal career satisfaction, optimal finances, optimal parenting, optimal home aesthetics, optimal skin, optimal immune system, strength, vitality, anti-aging, clean living, like all of the things. We just want it all optimized and none of it is inherently bad, right? Which is why this is kind of perplexing. It's like, yeah, we should strive to be better in all areas and we want to believe that we get to have all of these things. But the question that I've been pondering and that I'm posing to you today in this episode is when does it become harmful? When does the obsession with healing start to be as damaging as not having healed at all? Like, where do we— where do we draw the line? And can we get really honest with ourselves about the ways in which we might be taking it too far? I'll have clients come to me super frustrated at times. Like, I'm trying to think of an example. Like something like, okay, I know the next thing that I need to do is blank. Fill in the blank of whatever, you know, the next thing is you need to do. They'll be like, I know the next thing I need to do is blank, but I'm feeling scared about taking the risk and I think there's some limiting beliefs I really need to clear around it first. I don't want to feel scared anymore when making big moves. I thought that I had worked through this, like I thought I was over this, but I guess not. It's just so frustrating that I'm still having these feelings and wanting to self-sabotage and back away from what I know I need to do next because I'm scared and there's a limiting belief and I just want to be done with this already. And it's like, okay, yes, Perhaps there is a belief there to be cleared, but also it's not wrong that you feel scared before taking a big risk. It's actually pretty fucking normal, you know what I mean? Like, what if the most important work that we could do in that case was not to try to fix ourselves and clear all the beliefs and heal all the things, but to actually just stop making your humanness wrong, to stop making yourself wrong, to stop associating certain normal emotions, even if they're negative, with another reason as to why you haven't healed enough or you need to do more deep inner work. And of course, I'm of the belief that our inner work is a lifelong journey and it's never done. But I hope you can understand, like, the context and the nuance of what I'm getting at. Another example that I can think of is with when it comes to, like, the opinions of other people. I talk about this a lot, right? We are doing so much work on ourselves trying to reach a point where we don't care at all and nothing affects us and we are just so rock solid that we don't give a fuck. And are there going to be days where you feel like that? I think so. I have some days like that for sure. But it's not all the time. It's not consistent. It's not constant. And honestly, if you are that hardened, to me, that's probably you being detached from your emotions. Like, that's not really healed either. Do you know what I mean? And so Isn't it just like so liberating to know and to accept that you are never going to stop caring? So you can stop beating yourself up about it and telling yourself that you have more work to do, and you can just know and accept that you're always gonna care a little bit. You can get yourself to a place where you care less, but you're probably never gonna be a cold-hearted Zombie who just—

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Doesn't give an F about anything or anyone or any opinions or what anybody has to say. Nothing can hurt you. No words affect you. Like, to me, it's just more liberating to be like, no, I don't need to exhaust myself trying to heal to that level of perfection of never having something bother me anymore and actually just accept and know that it's always going to be part of the journey and I can improve and I can get better, but I don't have to be perfect at it. It's not about developing this superpower to not care what others think or not feel scared when you're taking risks, but really just to trust yourself enough to keep going anyways. For me, I think that's more of the journey. That's it. It's not, oh my God, more healing, more healing, more healing until nothing negative ever comes up for me again. I just don't think that that's real life. I think it's, can I trust myself enough to hold the negative emotions, thoughts, and experiences that I am bound to face and not let it sway my sense of what I know is right for me? It's not about not having the bad thoughts or emotions. It's about not letting them change the trajectory of where you're going or what you're going to do next. Right. So an example that I wanted to share was I had a client express to me that she was noticing that she had this sort of like fear, resistance, avoidance, to checking how many people had signed up for her masterclass. And if you're not a coach, like, this is really the same as if you have a fear of checking your bank balance, let's say, right? Like, the two are, are very similar. So whatever you relate to more. But she, she was noticing like, I'm having this avoidance where I want to check and see if more people have signed up, but I don't do it. Because I don't want to be disappointed and I'm afraid to see the number and let myself down. And so I try to like postpone that negative experience by avoiding it and not checking it. And the irony here, which is a caveat, but I just want to clear this up, the irony here is that during the entire time period where you are trying to resist checking it because you don't want the experience of being let down or disappointed or to feel bad, you are also feeling bad in that moment because you know what you've done. You know that you're avoiding, you know that you're scared, you know you're operating from fear and lack and scarcity. And so in your mind you're like, oh, I'm going to postpone these negative emotions by not looking at it. But you're already creating the negative emotions even in that choice to avoid. So you don't actually get what you think you're going to get out of it. You might be telling yourself, no, it's better when I don't check because then I can forget about it and whatever. But Trust me, it's still happening underneath the surface. Like, the, the negative emotions and the fear and the scarcity, it's all still there. In the moment that you decide to avoid and run away from the fear that is created, and so you're operating at that energetic level whether you think that you are or not. It's already happening. So you're not effectively avoiding the negative emotions by avoiding your bank account or avoiding checking your MasterClass signups or how many people purchase your program or whatever it is that you're avoiding, right? But what I think is— what I think needs to happen here is that we don't, we don't tell ourselves that we need to erase this fear. We don't need to get rid of this experience of being a little bit nervous to check. We just need to start acting anyway. We need to make the choice that our highest self would make, regardless of what your mind or your fear is telling you, right? And so the irony is, as we're talking about this, of, you know, you don't need to heal everything. This process in and of itself that I'm talking about is part of the healing, the taking action anyway, the recognizing the emotion, not making yourself wrong, and moving in accordance with your highest self anyway. That is part of the healing. So I get this sort of catch-22 where it's like, we don't need to heal everything, but in the process of not healing everything and taking action anyway, we actually are healing. So there's, there's a funny caveat to that. But that, that's part of the healing, right, is not making it mean anything and not beating yourself up of like, why am I still here? And why am I so scared? And why am I avoiding? And why am I this? And why is this pattern coming up? It's like, okay, this is This is where I am. And this is what's going on. What is the choice that I want to make? That's the only question that matters. What is the choice that I want to make? That's it. Accepting what is, not making yourself wrong, taking the aligned action anyway. By doing that over and over again, eventually, those negative thoughts and feelings have way less power over you. They're, they're, they're way less amplified. And so you are healing because even though you may experience them in the future, forevermore, until the day that you die and you never fully cleared it, you conquered it. And there's a big difference. Like, you can conquer something without fully clearing it. And I think we get to be okay with that because to me, like, that's a win in my book. And so in those moments, what I reminded my client of was like, in those moments where you notice that you're about to, you know, avoid or whatever the pattern is, like you can relate this to literally anything that comes up for you where you're like, I wish I wouldn't do that so much, or I wish I wouldn't care so much, or whatever. You become aware of the crossroads that you are at in that exact moment of like, I wanted to check my bank account, but I was like, better not because I don't want to be disappointed. In that moment, you now need to have heightened awareness of what's actually happening, that you're about to go into your avoidant pattern, right? And in that moment, you remember, I get to choose. This is the crossroads. I get to choose. I can do what my fear says, or I can do what my faith says. And you simply make a choice, and hopefully you start to build up that muscle of choosing faith over fear over and over and over again. But the key is just the awareness and not making yourself wrong and simply going, okay, I have a choice, and then making that choice. You're not going to do it perfectly every time, but hopefully you build up enough reps to have that be kind of like your normal thing. And so the point here is that you're not going to not experience the fear, you're not going to not experience the doubt, you're not going to not experience the pain of someone having a really negative thing to say about you or not approving of your career choice or your life or your decisions or your wedding venue or whatever the fuck it is. You're not going to not experience that. However, you are going to learn through these continued actions to not let it change what you know is best for you and what you want to do next. Right? So this morning, as I was getting ready after I had that download about how all obsessions are rooted in the belief that if I don't do this, something bad will happen, I started to think about like, okay, I don't know where this connected or how it came through, but I started to think about like, are there ways in which I have judged myself or am still judging myself that are so covert that I don't even realize that they're damaging to me? Because I remember a time in my life when I was really judgmental about my body, about the size of my arms, my thighs, my stomach, all the things. Like, I was really hyperfocused on that. And so a lot of my experience with self-judgment began in the kind of body image department. And I don't feel that way about myself anymore. And I have worked through so much of that. And I feel like I sort of thought I don't judge myself anymore, but then I sort of was thinking like, hmm, I wonder if there are ways that I do still judge myself. You know what I mean?

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Speaking of the obsession with healing, that's something a person who's obsessed with healing might say, right? Like, I wonder what more there is to fix. Exactly what we're talking about today. But anyway, for whatever reason, I had this thought of like, are there other things about myself that I still judge? And I was getting ready and I am very slow in the mornings. Like, I could give myself 3 hours to do a morning routine and I will still only get 2 things done before it's time for me to start working. And I don't know how it's possible, but I fill all of the time and I don't know what the fuck I'm doing in that time. But it's like, oh my God, I'm so slow in the mornings. Like, I'm not the person that could ever be like, I wake up at this time and 30 minutes later I'm meditating. And after 15 minutes of that, I eat breakfast for 30 minutes. Like, Breakfast honestly takes me an hour and I don't know why. Like most of the time I make a frickin smoothie. Like, I don't know, I'm just slow in the morning. So I realize like, okay, yeah, like sometimes I beat myself up for that because I'm like, I wake up early enough to get so much done and yet I can only do these two things because I'm a slowpoke. And so I thought of a couple of other things like aspects of my personality or traits about myself that I maybe dislike in some underlying way. And some things that came up for me was like, I'm always a little bit late, which I know other people think is bad. I'm really easily distracted by my phone, which pisses me the fuck off so badly. Like, it is one of my biggest demons in my life right now is like, I need to put my phone in the toilet during a workday so that I can not get distracted. I take a long time to get ready. As I said, I often don't finish books. I— that's kind of an old one. I used to care about that. I don't anymore. I know that it's totally part of my Human Design and that's just like what it's supposed to be. But I often don't finish books. I don't call my loved ones enough. I've talked about that on the podcast before. I am like a horrible long-distance friend and family member. I can't stick to like a specific way of eating for too long, even if it's not like restrictive or super diet-y, but it's just like I want to be focused on like nourishing myself with healthy foods. Even so, like, I just can't really stick to anything for too long. I don't naturally prioritize movement, and it's something that I wish that I did. Like, there's some people where they're like, I have to work out every day or else I go crazy and my mental health. And it's just for me, that's not really the story. I'm fine with or without movement, but I know obviously, or at least I think I'm fine, but I know obviously that it's so good for me. But it's not like it's not the easiest thing for me to prioritize. Like for some of my friends, I know it's so much easier for them to prioritize like getting outside or movement or going to the gym than planning out their next course or program. And I'm the opposite. Like I'm so just wired in that way where like I love work and creativity and building things. And so I don't naturally prioritize movement and it's something that I have to really force myself and I'm, I'm not successful at it all the time. So those were some of the things that came up for me of like, okay, these are ways that these are things that maybe I dislike about myself. But what I've decided is like, I'm, I'm going to stop believing that I need to fix or change these things about myself, which I think I kind of had because honestly there was zero effort on my part to like improve any of these things. Besides maybe like, maybe like the phone thing and the movement thing, I was like, I'm— well, I am actively, you know, I'd love to get better at those things, but the other ones, I'm just kind of like, oh, that's what it is and that's who I am. But moving forward, I really want to embody this like feeling of I've stopped believing that I need to fix or change these things about myself and and all of the energy that I was once using to beat myself up about these things or create strategies and plans for how I was going to change, that energy has now instead been redirected towards accepting myself and being okay with being a human who's just not perfect. And I don't need to strive for perfection in every single area. I think that's so liberating. And that's, that's the point of a lot of this conversation and episode is like, yes, we want to get better, but also there's ways sometimes in which our striving to be better actually becomes a sickness in and of itself because it's rooted in fear of if I don't do this, something bad will happen, or it's rooted in judgment of I need to change this about myself because I'm not good enough if I don't. And so really, like, just coming back to the idea of like, it's okay to be a human who's not perfect and to have flaws. It doesn't mean that I don't want to get better. Like I said, I want to get better with the phone distraction thing. I want to get better with movement. It doesn't mean that I don't want to get better or that I can't make an effort to improve in some of those areas. It just means that I've stopped telling myself the story that I need to heal every frickin area of my life and solve every character flaw or imperfection that I notice about myself. Or any negative thought comes up, it's like, oh, here's a project. I need to solve this and clear this. And it's a limiting relief, and I need to do all the things. It's like, um, maybe I'm just a fucking human. And yeah, I had a negative thought, or I judged myself for something, and I choose again, and I just move on. I'm not really interested in being optimal at everything. I'm interested in being happy. And I think if you're constantly trying to heal and fix yourself, you're severely limiting your happiness. At least that's what I've learned. And we want to do all of these positive things to hopefully make our life, our health, our mindset, and our relationships better. But there is this fine line that we walk where it stops being something that nourishes you and truly adds to your wellness and actually starts to become something that depletes you and takes up way too much mental space in your life. I, I'm not— I want to be clear about it. It's hard to describe where I'm coming from without, you know, I mean, hopefully people aren't misconstruing it as saying like you don't need to heal and you don't need to care about limiting beliefs and you don't need to work on yourself. That's not, not what I'm saying at all. And I hope that's not how it's come off because I'm not in the business of deterring people from their healing journey at all. Like, that's my livelihood. That's the work that I do. That's part of my mission. It's part of my purpose. It's something that I'm so passionate about. But what I also want to do, especially with the podcast, is like, have these radically honest conversations and allow you into my brain and my thought processes and the things that I'm hearing from clients and myself and, and just kind of be able to have these nuanced conversations that are not black and white, that are not all or nothing, but where we can walk the line together and understand that there's, you know, context and other things that, that apply. And we don't need to make it mean that healing is unimportant, or to never focus on it, or that your limiting beliefs don't need to be cleared. I think it's pretty clear that I didn't say that, but I just wanted to, to clarify that I'm not in the business of, of discouraging anyone from doing their healing work. And like I said at the beginning, there are lots of people who have yet to even embark even a sliver on this journey. And this conversation is not about those people, right? This conversation is for the people that have been on the path for a long, long time, and they have done so much work, and they are so hyper-aware, and they're starting to notice some of these obsessive thoughts where everything that comes up in their life that's negative, they immediately think, how can I solve this? How can I fix this? How can I heal this? How can I clear this? And being able to have that radical honesty with ourselves and go, is that, is that healthy? Is this still serving me, or am I crossing the line now and going into obsession land where, you know, it used to be about feeling, finding a way to feel good and improve my, my life or my wellness or whatever. And now it's just kind of like taking up way too much space. And I actually I am good. You know, I'm already really, really good. And maybe I can just allow myself and give myself the permission to be good and to not need to be optimal or stellar or the best at everything or healed in every single area or, you know, whatever. I think you get the point. I think I'm rambling now. Um, but yeah, this is just— this is for those of us who know deep down that the idea of healing and changing is maybe becoming a bit overwhelming and it's taking up too much space in our lives or in our minds. It's for those of us who actually feel, you know, I do think that I might be 1%, 5%, 10%, 20% happier, freer, and more relaxed if I could let go of the idea that any part of me needs fixing and I could actually just enjoy the fruits of my labor and all the work that I've already done and enjoy where I'm at and where I've gotten myself to in the healing journey and not continually feel like everything needs a solution and to just accept who I am, where I am, you know, some of the flaws that I have, some of the imperfections, and let it all be okay. That's who this episode is really for. So if this resonated with you, please take a screenshot, share it to your Instagram stories. I so appreciate you guys. Sharing the podcast, or if you have a friend or someone that you know who's been on their healing journey for a long time and you think they might resonate with this, copy the link to this podcast episode and just send it to them in a text. Say, hey, this made me think of you or us, and I thought you might enjoy this episode. Sharing the podcast is one of the best ways to help us get into more people's ears and change more people's lives. So I always appreciate you guys being my squad of just little ambassadors that are, that are sharing Makeshift Happen with the world. This show would be nothing without you. So I love you. I appreciate you. Thank you so much for tuning in, and I will see you guys next week. Bye.