Avoid Burnout & Build A Business YOUR WAY

Welcome to the Makeshift Happen podcast. I'm your host, Samantha Daly, entrepreneur, life coach, and your no BS bestie, here to bring you all things mindset, manifestation, and personal development. This podcast is designed to help you expand your mind and uplevel your life. So turn the volume up and roll the windows down if you're coming along for the ride.

Let's go make shit happen.

Welcome back, you guys. Oof, I am so fired up for today, maybe because I had a little bit of caffeine, but I think it's actually because I have one of my business besties, Sam Bailey. I'm just so excited to have her and, um, She has been on the podcast a few times and we did an episode maybe about like 8 weeks ago, Sam X Sam, where we just came together and had a real fucking conversation about life, business, all the things. And you guys loved it. We got so much positive feedback. And so we're going to keep going. So hi, Sam. What's up, queen? Hi.

I'm so excited to be here. Yeah, my audience loved the last episode that we did together. I think in that episode we talked a lot about being seen.

Remember that?

Yeah. And that was like a really, a really big thing for people. But we have a little bit of a different direction that we want to go in today, which we're very excited about, and we think you guys will be interested in too as well. We don't have a plan as usual when we do these. We just kind of like go in with a general direction and then just flow from there. So you guys will be hanging out with us, listening to the conversation as we go.

Yeah, it's like Jesus, take the wheel. I'm like, all right, hands off, baby. Like, just work through me. I'm not even speaking.

Yeah, just channeling this whole conversation. Yeah.

Um, so today, like, we want— I wanna talk to you, Sam, and share this conversation with everyone around the topic of business, but specifically like how we each run our businesses and like how we think about business, how we show up in business, like our relationship to launching and social media and like all these pieces, like kind of digging into like a day in the life, because I know that we are so different, but like also so similar in so many ways. But I know that, yeah, like our businesses are so different, but we're at pretty similar like levels. And so I feel like it would be so cool to like jam on that and dissect it and really just get down to like the nitty-gritty of like how we run the biz, because there's so many ways to run a business. And there's no one right way. But knowing that like, there is a way that is going to feel so good for you. And it might not be what Sam does, it might not be what I do, might be a blend. But finding your unique path in business, because there really is like no one size fits all.

Yeah. And I think that's, that's good for, you know, early entrepreneurs or people who want to— who are wanting to get into the coaching space. Sometimes, you you can think that like there is one right way that, you know, there's a, there's a formula or there's a blueprint. You know, people like to use those words when they're selling their coaching services of like, this is the path to success basically. But as we know, the path to success is not linear at all. And I think what we've discovered, especially in the realm of leading a feminine type business is that you get to do things the way that you want to and the way that feels good for you. And so then running your business and the way that you launch, the way that you present on social media, the way that you market, all that stuff is going to be unique to you and what feels good. And knowing that that is enough and that's okay and that it can work regardless of the way that you do it. Obviously there's certain like strategies and things that people want to learn that are helpful to know when you're starting out in the business. Um, But yeah, I think it's just a permission slip for people to be able to run their businesses in a unique way and know that like empower themselves to be able to do things differently or step outside the box instead of just watching all these coaches do one thing a certain way and then be like, okay, well, that must be the way to do it. So I need to copy that.

Yeah. Yeah. And I think there's also a, like, there's a misconception that when you join somebody's coaching program, like You're— it's like, how do I say this? It's kind of like sometimes I, I can see this trend and I've had this happen with past clients where they would join my business program and expect to get the answer to the strategy, right? And I'm not that coach that's going like, I give you all the strategies, right? But the, the harder piece of business is actually learning to trust yourself and find like, What actually feels good for you? What do you want to do? Because I can't— I can tell you write 10 emails, but if you hate writing emails, don't write emails. Like, no, that's not— that's not it. And so I know that before I hired my first business coach ever, and I don't know if you can relate to this, but before I hired my first business coach ever, I had a unique way of doing things. Like totally unaware of all of the strategies that you could have in business because I had no business experience. Like, I wasn't following any business coaches. That's not what I was trying to do. Like, I wasn't trying to grow my business. And what ended up happening is like, I actually found like my unique way, which I would— if I was to like describe it, maybe we can dig into that in a second. But I found my unique way But then when I hired my first business coach, I started to doubt my way, thinking that I needed to do it her way in order to be more successful. And I abandoned myself a little bit, not even consciously, because I was thinking like, oh, my way is not good enough. Like, I need this next thing, right? And I think that that can happen so easily when we see other people with success, like, oh my God, what did they do? I need to do that to get successful. But the truth is that won't get you successful necessarily, right? So it's like, yeah, really tuning in and tapping into in your body. This is how I lead is like, how does it feel in my body? If it does not feel like delicious and pleasurable and expansive, I don't want to do it. If it doesn't feel fun, I don't want to do it. Like, and that's— if it feels complicated, I don't want to do it. Like, that's me. But like, that might not be you. So I don't know if you can relate to that. But I know that I've noticed that pattern coming up, or like that story, and just even realizing that for myself recently in the past, I don't know, even few months.

Yeah, the story that kind of comes up was coming up for me as you were speaking about that in a way that I remember this happening to me is when I start— when I first created the podcast, I knew that I wanted the artwork for the podcast to be a little bit like unique. Like I really wanted to have a It's not like a caricature. Like, how would you describe the COVID art for my podcast? Like a drawing.

It's like a comic, kind of.

Yeah. So I knew that I wanted that, but I wanted it to be really realistic, you know? I didn't want to just be like a cutout or like a person with like no eyes or something. Like, I wanted it to like really look like me, like crazy resemblance. Yeah. But not be just a photograph. And so I had my graphic designer create the COVID art for me, which I was obsessed with. I was so happy with the job that she did. I thought it looked so amazing and I was super excited about it and I still love it. And I had this business coach reach out to me who I had, you know, been chatting back and forth with for a while, but I never worked with him. But he was like, you know, congrats on the podcast. I think you're going to be awesome. Like you have a great voice for it, all this stuff. And then he was like, but if you're open to it, I'd love to give you some feedback on the COVID art. And I was like, oh sure, like tell me what you think. And he basically—

tell me you love it.

Like, exactly. I was like, isn't it sick? Um, and he basically was like, yeah, I think that you should have gone with a real photograph of yourself because people are going to want to, you know, connect a face to the voice and brands are going to want to see who you actually are. And for the success and future of your podcast, I think like you're gonna want to have that instead of like a drawing. And he was like, if you were ugly, the drawing would be fine, but you're beautiful, so you should have a photo.

And yeah, okay, bro, thanks. I know, thanks for that pseudo-compliment.

Yeah. And so to go off of your point of having self-trust in business and the way that you want to do things, I could have like taken that comment to heart and been like, wow, he has a successful podcast. Like, he has more experience in business than me. Maybe brands won't want to work with me. Maybe this is a bad move for my show as like a brand new podcast. And I literally, like, that thought didn't even cross my mind. I immediately messaged him back and was like, I appreciate your opinion and I totally get what you're saying, but I love the, I love the podcast art. I think it's so dope. And the like resemblance is uncanny. People know who I am. Like, I'm not gonna change it.

Fuck yeah. Fuck yeah.

So it's like, it's like that, right? Like, there's a lot of other people that are going to do things in a different way, or their way, or the way that they have been taught or believed to be the best way. But you have to maintain that integrity in yourself of what you like and what is inspiring to you and how you want to do things, no matter what other people say, even if they are more successful than you. You know, like what their secret sauce is and what's worked for them isn't necessarily going to work for you because you're a different person with a different personality and you're going to connect with different kinds of people and your audience is going to be totally different from theirs. So yeah, that was just the anecdote that kind of came to my mind as you were talking about changing your way for maybe what someone more successful than you has guided you to believe.

Yeah. Yeah. And I think it's really easy. To fall victim to that when this person is more successful, that like they— that feedback might be actually exactly what you needed, but maybe you only needed a piece of it. And like sometimes we can take the whole thing and then we can make it mean that like, oh, maybe our way is not good enough, right? And it can start to create this like downward spiral of a story of like, I'm codependent on my coach or I'm codependent on X, Y, and Z because my ideas or my whatevers aren't good enough. And like, I know for anyone, especially in my audience, if they're, um, if they're going through any sort of self-confidence or self-esteem or self-doubt, right? And I'm sure for your peeps too, like, that can really break you. Like, you know, any comments about your success, the future business that you're creating, or the current business that you have, that can really fuck you up, you know? And like, I know I had— I have two comments, and I'm curious to hear yours too. Um, I had two comments that particularly resonated for me in business. One was from a prior coach who told me, um, that like I should never be a business coach, and Like, that really, like, made me so scared to help others with their business because I had that story in my head of like, whoa, like, why, you know, like, and she might not have said it like in— she was obviously didn't say it in like a way that was like, meant to be mean. But, you know, little me over here, like, this was like, I don't know, a year and a half ago. I was like, oh my god, like, Okay, fine, I guess I won't ever do that, you know. And so I remember boxing myself in because I couldn't never be a good business coach, right? And I've realized like I'm actually a great coach because I ask good questions, right? Not necessarily because like strategy and all that stuff and all the little micro things, that's not my jam. The, the like actually thinking about what fucking feels good, getting you into alignment. And so I remember that comment really definitely held me back in my journey as a coach. And then, um, my dad actually— I remember a few years ago, maybe I was like 6 months into my business journey, and he said something like, you know, like, what are you gonna do when the economy crashes and your business fails? And like, he was very much in that scarcity mindset, you know. And like, I had to, at the time, I didn't have enough self-awareness to know that that was like his scarcity speaking. And it wasn't a reflection of me because my business was doing great, you know, but I was so scared. And I remember like things went downhill for a few months because I let that belief seep in and I didn't have enough like consciousness really to catch it and like process it and release it instead of attaching on to it. And so I think like this is such a common thing. For new business owners where maybe they've had a comment from their family. I know that's a huge one. Like, I have a client right now and her parents are like, no, you need a 9 to 5. Like, you need a secure job. Like, you can't do that. You can't do that. And like, she's now in a place where she's like, fuck that. Like, this business is for me. My happiness is for me. Like, I can't listen to anyone else. I can't wait for the approval of anyone else. Like, this is my dream. You know, and she totally just let that shit go, and now she's creating her business. But like, that comment, think about that. Like, that's crazy that that can hold us back from ever starting. So I'm curious, like, have you had comments like that or like experiences like that, whether it's with friends, fam, like anyone, coaches, where you've had comments be made about you, your business, or your journey?

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Yeah, I think like, luckily my family has always been like really, really supportive and excited about me doing the things that I'm passionate about. And I also think it's different because when I started my business, I was living in a foreign country. So I was really far away from my family and my life was just kind of like very far removed from, you know, them and their lifestyle and all that kind of stuff. So it was just kind of like, Sam's over there in Spain and she's doing this thing, and they weren't really like concerned or worried about it. My parents have always been like really supportive. Like my dad was the person who first invested in my business so that I could hire a business coach. Like I had to, I had to do like a Shark Tank presentation to my parents about my business after I did my first like beta round of coaching.

Yeah.

I had to like basically present like the mission of what I was trying to do in the world and what I wanted to create and the amount of money I had made in my first beta round and where I saw my projected income. And like I had to like literally full on like do a presentation and like share what I believed the value was going to be because I knew I needed, uh, I needed guidance. I really wanted to invest in a business coach, but I just didn't have the money to like pay upfront at the time. So I was like, okay, I need to like get investors, which were going to be my family because luckily I have, I have family that are like loving and supportive and I knew that they would give me a shot. So I presented myself to them and like my dad was the first person to ever like, I guess monetarily really believe in my mission and like invest in the business. So that's really beautiful. Yeah, that's been like really, really great. And now they're like, holy shit, you know, like, I think they, they always wanted me to pursue my passions. And they knew that I was like really smart and really good at what I did and a really great communicator and all that. But they had no idea what coaching was like, they were just kind of like trusting me blindly. And now they're just kind of like, I cannot believe that like, this is like You know, like I'm sure that your family kind of feels the same now looking at your business. Holy shit. Like I can't even, like they, and I think that's the important thing for anybody that is in that position where their family is doubting them is holding the vision of the day when you are like a multiple 6-figure or 7-figure earner and your whole family is just like, what the actual fuck? Like I cannot believe that this is, you know, And, and because that's that self-trust of like knowing where you're going, knowing the mission that you have, and just pursuing that with all the passion in your heart and trusting that it's going to work. And just kind of like sitting with that vision of, you know, someday everyone is going to see. And I think that I saw, uh, it was a TikTok or a Reel recently, um, where this guy was like, No one is going to believe in you before you're successful. Like, you have to believe in you. Like, no one is going to believe in the vision until you bring the vision to life. So if you don't believe in you, you can't be sitting around waiting for somebody else to, to give you the green light and to say, hey, I totally see so much potential in you and like, you can totally do this. Like, you kind of have to be that person for yourself, especially in those early days. But I think in the coaching space, What's so beautiful is that you can work with coaches or mentors that kind of are that person that sees the potential in you and, you know, gives you that, that, um, I don't know, that fire or that, that hope, that possibility of like, okay, like this, this actually is, you know, this is important. The work that I'm doing does matter. Like the world does need this. I can share my voice. It is possible to be abundant and wealthy. And happy and fulfilled and, you know, have a sustainable business and work for myself. So, but I think you also just, you, you have to, in the very beginning, you have to believe in yourself and your vision before anybody else does.

Yeah. Yeah. Amen. That is like, I think I said that in my call this week with my clients actually, like, you have to believe in you before anyone else does. It's true. But the thing is, with that, it's so much easier said than done. And in my perspective, as somebody who comes from really low self-esteem, really low self-confidence, really low self-worth, a lot of trauma, a lot of emotional, like, neglect, um, I needed somebody to see me before I saw myself, right? And I remember when I had my first mentor and he like witnessed me, I was like, I don't— I mean, I'm sure you've had this experience where somebody says something about you that nobody ever has and you feel so seen. Like, I have goosebumps as I'm saying this. I just remember like he was like, you— he basically told me what my vision was without me telling him. Based on my energy and my skill set and my past and like what I've overcome. And he was like, you are going to be wildly successful. Like, you have a really actually a scarily large mission here and you better prepare. And I kind of got a little scared, but deep down in my body, I knew it. I knew it to be true. I would have never said that to anyone. I would have sounded like an asshole, but like I knew it deep down of like, I know I have such big things inside of me, and it's just about like extracting them and getting them out and clarity and blah blah. And I needed that, like I really did. There's no way I would have made the leap. I would have never made the leap into full-time entrepreneurship, you know. And I remember I had an ex-boyfriend who actually paid for one of my student loans in order for me to have enough faith in myself in the process to leave my 9 to 5 and just become a personal trainer, you know, to make some money and get out of the architecture industry until I could become a coach. And like, if it wasn't for him believing in me and seeing me and being like, Sam, you are so inspiring, you like, you're so intuitive, like, you're, you're such like, you're just such an inspiration, like, you need to go get out there and like, get the hell out of that desk job. And get out and do what you're supposed to be doing. And I was like, oh my God, you're right. Like, fuck. Like, oh my God. And it was like, it was like making me have like the sweats because I was like, fuck, I gotta quit right now, you know? And like, it—

I remember you told me this story in Miami when we were in Miami.

Yeah, it— I mean, to think about that, like, I have so much gratitude for him. I fucking love him, you know? Like, I'm so grateful for him. I'm so grateful for all the people that saw me And I think that's why having— I mean, now it's like having people in your life that see you. It doesn't even need to be a coach, but having someone in your life that can really see your gifts and really see you, man, there is nothing more powerful and potent than that. Because you remember your truth and you're like, you're right, I'm a fucking boss-ass bitch. I'm supposed to be doing this shit. Ain't nobody gonna stop me. Ain't nobody, ain't no scenario gonna stop me. I will figure it out because I'm a resilient bitch.

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Yeah, this reminds me so much of in 2019 when I got fired from my job that was like my dream job. I was working for an influencer. We were running retreats all over the world. It was like mindset, manifestation, meditation type stuff. I was like, this is so amazing, I'm finally getting into this world. I— my audience will know this story, but I randomly just kind of like out of nowhere, out of left field, got fired and let go from that job. And so I woke up one morning and I was like getting online ready to work. And I had a call with my boss's partner, like her boyfriend at the time. And he was just like, yeah, we have to let you go. Like, you don't need to work today. Like, it's done, like starting now. And so I was like in Spain and I was like, I literally am fully unemployed. I'm 4 days away from my 25th birthday. Like I have no income. I wasn't even making a lot of money at that job anyway. It was like around $1,000 a month. Like I was already like scraping by kind of. And I had let go of all of my teaching jobs in Spain because I had jumped on to like be their first full-time employee. Yeah. And so then I was like, I'm literally left with nothing. Like, what am I going to do? It was like a terrifying moment. And so a couple of weeks later, for Christmas that year, we went to— we did a family vacation trip to Aruba. So I was in Aruba with my parents and my partner Jaime and my brother and his now wife was there with us. And on that trip, like us girls, we went to go to yoga one day in Aruba. Yeah. Because yoga girl Rachel Braithen, she has her yoga studio there. And I like, she's been like an idol to me since the very beginning. Like she was like part of the whole thing that like sparked my entire journey. So I was like, we're here, we have to go. So we went off to do yoga and Jaime stayed back with my brother and my dad and they ended up like going to the bar and they were like getting super drunk together. But the entire time that they were like drinking, they were all like basically planning my business and like how successful I was going to become now that I like wasn't working for these people and I was gonna like go off on my own and do my own thing. Yeah, because I started creating like an email list and I started blogging more and like I knew that I wanted to do something, but I didn't know what it was going to turn into. You know, after that trip when we went home, I had to go back to English teaching for like a over a full year after that. Like, this very, very early days, like right after I got fired. But already, like, my family was— they saw, like, my potential and, like, what I could do and create in the world, like, before I even knew what the vision was. And they were telling me, they were like, you're gonna be so successful, like, you're gonna have this amazing business, like, we know that you're gonna be able to, like, impact so many people. And yeah, they, they still joke to this day that they basically drew up, like, a whole business plan for me, but they're wasted. So the next day they didn't remember it, but, but it's just another example of like people seeing you, yeah, in your power and like what you really bring to the table, um, before you're able to really fully, fully see it for yourself.

Yeah, yeah. You know what's interesting is, um, I've been having this actually a lot recently. Like, this is a vulnerable chair, very present for me, but like I have been in this very, like, I don't know, I guess like cloud-like state in biz for the past, like, I don't know, 6 months or so where I've really been given an assignment to go within and discover like, what is like, not what is my purpose. It's not that, but it's like, what's my actual like vision? Right? And really, like, what are my gifts? You know, like, what is my, like, super fucking power? Like, and I'm sure you can relate because you're also a man, Jen, but it's like having and being multi-passionate is— can be a challenge, right? When you want to do so many different things. And so it's been— it was kind of creating this war in my mind of like, You know, like, what am I actually doing? And I said this to Kurt like a lot at the end of last year, and I was like, Kurt, I just like, I feel like I don't know what I'm doing. Like, meanwhile, like, the business is fine. I have clients, like, things are successful, right? But I'm going through this phase of like, I don't know what I'm doing. Like, who the fuck am I? Like, who am I? Who am I? Like, and he's like, Sam, you do know what you're doing. You do know. And I was like, And I just kind of like brushed it off. And then it happened again. And he said the same thing to me. He's like, you got to stop saying that. And I was like, oh, okay, Curtie, you coaching me. I like this, right? And it kind of hit me of like, I can't keep saying that because it's going to put me into more confusion, right? And I really kind of caught the belief. And I was like, whoa. And leaning into like, what are my— like, what is my soul assignment? Like, what are my spiritual gifts? Right? And, and I think this is like, sometimes we can get lost in the day-to-day and that we forget, like, we just forget what we're good at because we're good at it. We don't even realize it, right? And so I was on a meeting with my team and we end up having like, it's so funny, like our team meetings are like half just chatting with each other and learning and bouncing ideas off each other, you know, like kind of playing around, and like half work. Like we like to have play. And yeah, and like both of my team members were, were giving me reflections. We were all like seeing each other and kind of doing this reflection circle of like what are each other's like superpowers. And I realized by just asking that question of like people that are close to me, it just gives me clarity when sometimes I don't have it, you know. And they were like, well, and they went off and shared and like they were just telling me what like my gifts were. And it was like, whoa, thank you for that. Because sometimes, like, we can forget. And then we can have like major imposter syndrome and be like, what the hell am I doing?

Right?

Like, what am I actually doing? Like, why are people even paying me? Like, it can turn into this thing, right? If we forget. And I remember Mads, my assistant, was like, Sam, Sam, like, I just want to share this. And she like shared all the things with me. And I was just like, in tears. Because I realized like, It was this moment where I wasn't seeing myself. I wasn't seeing myself, and I kind of got lost in the chaos of everything— social media, life, etc. And I forgot, you know, I forgot because I wasn't practicing using my gifts and acknowledging them and being in my power. And I think that is where, like, when we not only know our gift but are using our gifts That just builds confidence, right? And your gift could be like, you know, your gift could be like you are a master at teaching people how to get flexible. Like, let's just say that's your thing, right? But if you see other people with all these other skills, you're like, oh, I need to get that skill, I need to get that skill too, and this go— you get out of your lane, right? You get out of alignment, you get out of integrity, you get out of your truth. And I I 100%— that happened to me at the end of last year. I got so distracted. I got like shiny object syndrome. Like my ADHD squirrel brain was all over the place and I needed to reel it in, you know, and like remember who the fuck I was and remember what my gift is, which like, I think we should talk about that. Like we should share each other's gifts. I think that would be a cool thing to do, like see each other. But then it ignited this fire in me. Man, after I got COVID and after I healed, like the past, I don't know, about 2 weeks, I have had this insatiable fire in me because it's like I remember, I remember again, I remember what my fucking secret sauce is, right? Like this, this thing that brings people in, that's magnetic, that's powerful, and I love it. But before, I was very much in this like, who am I? What do I do? You know, this like lost little puppy.

That, that happens when exactly like you said, it's like you sometimes you cut, you really need to have blinders on in business because, okay, well I noticed that you unfollowed everybody on Instagram so we can maybe talk about that cause I feel like it's connected.

It is.

I don't know.

Yeah.

Have you get, cause as you were talking I was like, I feel like this is connected to you getting back into your lane because when you're always Yeah. Like it's so easy when you get to a new level of where you're at in business and how you're operating to forget like where you came from and how much you've achieved and the lives that you've impacted and all of the change that you're affecting in the world. And to just kind of see the forward-facing picture of like where you're still trying to go and where you haven't reached yet. And then you have all these examples of people around you on social media of like the people that are earning more than you, that are creating more than you, that are more consistent than you, that are, you know, they have bigger audiences than you, they have more engagement than you or whatever it is. Right. And like that really throws you off because suddenly you've reached this amazing place in business where you're so successful and you've created an amazing community and you know, your clients love you and they get amazing results. And that feels like nothing. Like, you, you're not even like aware, you're not even conscious of like the mountain that you're standing on. Because even though you're standing on a mountain, you're just looking at the next one in front of you and being like, holy fuck, that is mammoth, right?

Yeah. Oh yes, that visual. I feel like that visual is so perfect because we can't see the height of the mountain when we're on it, you know? Yeah. And I said that to Kurt. I was like because he's off, like, he's not an entrepreneur, you know? Like, he has a night— well, I don't, I don't want to say 9 to 5, but he has like a whatever.

He works for a more traditional job.

I'm like, he doesn't actually work 9 to 5, but like, he's not in entrepreneurship space. And I know for anyone that has— is creating a business and doesn't have a partner in the entrepreneur space, like, it can be hard to explain like what you're doing and why you're doing it and like the money and what you're charging and like all this stuff, right? And I remember looking at Kurt and like sharing with him my income from 2021, and I was like, dude, holy shit. Like, how crazy is it that we can make multiple six figures and be so unfazed, so unaware sometimes?

Like, yeah. And like not even appreciating it, being like, oh my God, I haven't made a million dollars yet.

And I'm like, I need to get a fucking life and get out of the bubble I'm living in because that is pathetic. Like, Sam, Sam, Sam, you are amazing. Like, yo, you know how— like, you are literally at the top 1% or I don't know what the fuck the percentage is. But like, I'm so unaware because I know that like, I'm sure you feel this. You have so much you are here to do and share and explore and create that like, Like, this is nothing, you know, this is literally nothing. And like, yes, in the scheme of our lives, yes, multiple six figures is probably nothing, right? All the clients we have is such a baby amount compared to what we will have. But right now, like, we gotta express mad amounts of gratitude and we have to see ourselves before our potential clients can see us too. You know, because if we aren't celebrating ourselves, our clients have no idea. And it's like, that is— can be hard if you're not used to being seen, but man, it is such a powerful exercise to really acknowledge where you're at and how far you've really come. Because like, yeah, chances are you've come way farther than you think, and you've accomplished and gone through way more than you think.. And it's not just about money. Like, like money is probably like one of the least important metrics in my experience. Like, I love money. I love making money. It's great. And I want to make fucking massive amounts of it. But the truth is like, are you in integrity? Are you in alignment? Like, do you feel good? Do you enjoy what you're doing? And that feels— that is gonna fill you up way more than any amount in your bank account ever would.

So it's like I had, I had a moment the other day when I was working out. I don't know why this like vision like came to me, but I was, I was in the middle of my workout and I just started to think about the number of women who have either worked with me personally or in a program or even just listened to the podcast, who even just the ones that I know of because they've sent me messages. Saying that, you know, they've doubled or tripled their salary, they got a $10,000 raise, they attracted the love of their life, they're moving in with their boyfriend, they healed the relationship with their body, they, you know, are repairing relationships in their life, they are stopping caring about what everybody thinks, they got a brand new job in a new industry, they're getting paid more. Like, I just started to have this vision of like all of these women all of the money and love and opportunity and expansion that's flowing into their lives because of the work that I've done as like one tiny human, just putting my voice out there and sharing my message. And it like literally gave me goosebumps all over. Like I could cry thinking about that. Like if we could gather all of the women in one space that have been affected by our voices in some way that have taken something that we've said said, implemented it into their lives to create something better, to get an amazing result of some kind, like we would be looking at a stadium of thousands of women who have changed their lives. And like, just thinking about that, that like, feels so good.

Yeah. And I actually feel like it kind of feels better than even like our own accomplishments. You know, it's like, yeah, that's why we started this business in the first place. You know, because we had— we've overcome shit, we've gone through our journey, and like, we're like, we can't not help people, you know? It's like there's this fire burning and it's like, we want freedom, you know? That's, that's my biggest like value. I don't know about yours, but it's freedom, like in all sorts. Freedom internally, freedom financially, freedom location-wise. Like, I am just obsessed with freedom. And it's like, how many—

very, very American of us to be like, freedom, freedom.

So true.

I think anyone who's on their spiritual path or personal development path has that value in common of freedom. Like, I don't think you're alone in that. I think all of us who are wanting to create something for ourselves, work for ourselves, and also impact change are really obsessed with this idea of freedom. We want freedom for ourselves and our businesses and our in our finances. And we also want to help other people create that freedom for themselves. And that's why we do the work that we do. So yeah, I was joking earlier saying that that's super American of us to be like, freedom is my number one value. But I think that it really, it really is, especially in this industry.

Yeah. Yeah. Amen to that. And I think like we can kind of go full circle back to even the beginning of this conversation around Freedom and like what that feels like in business. Like going back to that like strategy piece, right? Of like, there was a time where I created my business and I felt like I just created a worse 9 to 5 for myself because like I just had absolutely no idea what I was doing. Like no boundaries. And like, I was just kind of all over the place and it was just like, oh my gosh, like more, more, more, more, more. And I think like one of the most important pieces before you start your business is having a vision for how you want to feel in it, you know, because like I didn't have that vision. Like I just started and that's like definitely something that like I love about myself is like, I just jump in, you know, I don't always, I don't always have this like curated plan. Like I am someone who just likes to like get in and get messy and then like adjust accordingly. But in now being an entrepreneur for what, it's been like 5 years since I started coaching anyone. Um, I've realized like it's actually really important to get grounded and have that vision and, and really get clear on the feeling of how you want to feel in business. And that has been what's helped me transform my business over the past year from working so much, like so much nights and weekends, like just like 12-hour days, like crazy amounts to working like what I used to work in one day, like throughout the week. And it's because I got really clear on I love space, I love being outside, I love dancing. Like I just want all of the fucking space. I don't want to work that much, but I want to make a lot of impact, and I know that's possible, you know. So it's like, how can I optimize and make my business so fucking simple and allow it to reach the masses? And that is like the, the business model that I've set up for myself now. But it was not always like that because, yeah, I've realized I only used to be addicted to working because I was addicted to working. But like, now I'm like addicted to playing and like pleasure and like being in nature. And like, Kurt and I are about to embark on van life. And I know I'm going to want to explore, I'm gonna be meeting people, I'm gonna be in the woods, like, I'm gonna be doing all these like, you know, crazy things. And I'm not gonna want to work or be on my computer. What the hell? You know, I want to be on the beach, I want to be— I want to be hiking. So realizing like, that's the type of business I want. How can I create that? Because it can happen very easily, you know.

And like, what's funny, what's funny is like, I can't even picture you like working 12 hours a day because I know this version of you that is so committed to your, to your vision of living like a fun-filled, playful, free, and spacious life in your business. So I'm like, I didn't know that version of you. So I'm like, that feels weird. Like, I don't even like, I can't even like picture that for you. But obviously you don't want to be here.

I was so stressed and fucking, I was like, oh, single, alone, and really stressed.

Yeah. Like it honestly just doesn't mesh with your energy. Like you can tell that you're so much more you. In this model of business that you've created for yourself. But obviously, like, you know, being like friends over the past year and being in the mastermind together, you've kind of like seen me go through a similar stage of like really working hard and working a lot of hours in my business. And you were like always there to tell me like, dude, you shouldn't be working so much. Like you don't need to. And so this brings me back to the launch of From Burnt Out to Badass that I'm in the middle of right now. Which was, you know, speaking about, you know, doing business in different ways and letting your way be correct. I had planned the launch for this program before I knew that I was going to be moving to the US, right? Because the move to the US like happened literally in 3 weeks. We figured out that we could come, we made the decision, we packed our house, we figured everything out, and we moved within 3 weeks. Like it was wild. So a lot of my stuff on my calendar was like for 2022 was like not in the realm of thinking that I was going to be doing that or be here. So I had planned this and there were, you know, a lot of people that advised me to push this back or thought that it would be a bad idea to like do it now since I'm moving through so much. And like, obviously the move was really stressful and the launch was set to begin literally two, like two days before I was moving.

Yeah.

Like, it's kind of funny when you think about it now. And you'd be like, yeah, like, okay, Sam is someone who usually has like too many things on her plate, or she works really hard, or, you know, like, maybe she doesn't know how to say no to this. So I think there were like mentors in my life who were saying like, yeah, you should maybe give yourself the permission to not have to do this right now. But the reason that I chose to actually go through with the launch was because I wanted to shift my own belief system about how I thought that launches needed to be done. And so instead of, you know, putting it on my plate and being like, okay, and so then on top of moving my whole life and family and house internationally, I'm also going to be posting every day and talking about this all the time and sending a million emails and doing all these podcasts and promoting it like up the ass everywhere. Like, I was like, no, I'm actually just going to change my whole belief system about what, what is possible and how I need to show up in order for a launch to be successful and prove to myself through action that I don't need to be on all the time. I don't need to be promoting all the time. I don't need to be working all the time. And I can actually make a lot of money when I'm just living my life. And that was one of my main affirmations for the month of January in 2022 was like, I make more money by resting, playing, and sleeping than I do by working. Because I want that to be true, right? Like when we think about, yeah, we get to choose our beliefs and whatever we choose to be true will show itself for us in reality. I'm like, well, that would be a fucking sick belief to like just choose and like have it be true. You know, I make more money by living, playing, resting, and sleeping than by working. Like that sounds fucking awesome. So for me, this year is a lot about doing business in a different way in terms of breaking down some of my own beliefs about what needs to happen or what has to be in place in order to be successful.

Yeah. Oh, thank you so much for sharing that, Sam. I feel like that's such a, like, it's such a vulnerable share because you're also in the midst of it too. You know, it's like you're in the midst of this belief changing, you're in the midst of this launch, like, And how, like, I just want to acknowledge that because that shit's scary, you know, like it could not work, you know, like it could totally flop and then like, oh, fuck, you know, but you're in it. And obviously, like, your program is filling up and it's like there's women in there and like we see it happening. So it's like, oh, this is proof it is okay, you know. And I think like for me and my journey and like kind of shifting away from this like masculine dominant approach and moving more into really a feminine-led business and life is like my, my mantra for this year is like, pleasure is my priority. And whether that's play, joy, food, sex, whatever, it's like, that is all I'm after. I am not even concerned with the business. Like the business is growing. It's doing its thing. But guess what? When I am committed to my pleasure and when I am committed and put that first of like, I need to sleep, I need this, I need this, and really listening to my body, the business, of course it has to, it can't not expand because I will be in so much overflow and abundance. And have so much clarity and operate from a place of just like, oh, I feel so good, you know? Like, I can't not share it. Like, I can't not create because that's who I am. And, uh, you know, this month has been a little crazy. Like, I'm sure that people probably feel this. January has been a fucking month with the full moon and everyone getting COVID and everyone getting sick. Like, It's been a lot of releasing, and I've just been literally focusing on doing only what feels good and listening to that. And guess what? Clients are coming out of nowhere, literally.

Like, it's kind of—

it's insane, right? Like, someone found my application from 2019. It's like my old coaching application. It doesn't even exist on the internet, so I thought they applied. And I was like, how the fuck did they find this application? Like, I'm glad they did, but like, I didn't do anything. I was literally packing the van. Like, I was moving, I was doing my thing. I wasn't worried about clients showing up. I was living my best life. And I truly believe when we are living our best life, that is the most fucking magnetic thing. And it's like, do not fall to that belief that more work means more money means more success. Because I know we've all— we've all, right? And success for women is so new, you know? It's so new if we look at it. And it's like getting our nervous systems being okay to like allow ourselves to rest without guilt, you know? Allow ourselves to experience pleasure and receive help and receive all of— like, receive money, all of this, because that's our fucking birthright. And this is the way of the future. Like, we are fucking changing the game. And a lot of this is just creating that safety in our nervous system. And that is what I've been committed to, is like all the breathwork, all the meditation, all the dancing, all the magic to get my body primed and ready to receive all that, you know?

Yeah, yeah. I, I feel and know that to be true so deeply because the more that I practice it in my life, the more that I see it And I think even like in the Queendom, like Mel was a really great example of that, of, you know, the more that you prioritize pleasure and living your life, the more that your business kind of grows as a result of that. I think that was a really good space for both of us to be in the past year because we were both kind of trying to move in that direction of, okay, I know how to create success. I know how to do these certain things, but I want to feel amazing in this business. And I want this to be the juiciest, most decadent life that I can imagine for myself. Not just a business that makes six figures, right? But I want to like pose a really interesting question and see what you think about it because I know there's going to be women listening to this podcast that are like, yeah, but Sam and Sam can say this because they've put in the hard work, they've put in all those hours, they've built the business so now they can kind of take their foot off the gas and pursue this like feminine-led business and, you know, live their life more. And by living their life, their business gets bigger. But for someone who's like at an early stage, they're probably likely thinking like, that won't work for me. So what do you think? Like, do you think— because it's interesting, a lot of the women that I know that are so successful in business and that do lead really beautifully feminine businesses now started from that kind of like wounded masculine place that we were both in of like hustle culture, like, you know, getting everything done, taking all the clients that they could, having crazy hours. So yeah, like, what is it, a rite of passage, like to put in a lot of effort and work and then you get to do this? Or do we think that like this is possible from day one?

Mm, that's a great question. Um, I'll say right off the bat, it is 100% possible from day one. And the only— why— only reason why I can say that with full, like, full commit, like, in integrity is like all my clients are doing that because I never did that, right? So I didn't know if it would work, but I was like, you know, I have faith. Like, but the thing is, I want to be clear, and I mean, I'm sure you, you know this obviously, but it's like when we're talking about a feminine-led business, we're not talking about all we do is sit back and fucking like drink smoothies and lay on the beach and like take naps and like have orgasms. Like, I'm like, I just want to be clear that it's not that. It's that and the action. It's that and the structure. It's that and the system. Because without the system, you don't have a fucking business. You have a pleasure practice that's on display. Right. And without the pleasure, you have a burnt out version of you. So I teach the healthy approach to the feminine and the healthy approach to the masculine. Because if we don't have the action, the structure, the systems set up, then we don't have a business. So I see the beginning stages of business as you got to prioritize your health and your wellness. Numero uno, that is number one. From that place, we create the structure Right. And then we go back to pleasure. We continue refining structure. We go back to pleasure, right?

It's like this dance between the two, but it's kind of like you, you build the structure so that there's space for the pleasure. Like you set it up, you set it up so that there's a designated kind of like space and openness for you to be able to live your life and have pleasure and joy and fun. And all of those things, right? Whereas if you're just so obsessed with like the structure of your business, you're not going to leave any space for that. Like you were talking about before, like space, you love space, like open space. I love to see open space on my calendar. You probably do too. When you look at your day for the next day and it's like mainly open space except for like one call or something that you have to do, you're like, fuck yeah, feels so good. But it's like, it's not that we're not doing things, It's just that we're doing them, I think, in a more intentional way to accommodate for all of the parts of ourselves and all of the parts of our lives that we want to give space and time to.

Right, exactly. And I think there's like, we take action not because we always necessarily want to take action, but because we know what will come from the action we take, right? Like what's on the other side of that action. Because let's be real, like, if we could just lay in bed all day and like chill, we would, right? Like, I know that we like— like, I do enjoy working because I, I love my work, you know, but like, I would much rather be probably hiking, you know, like, and I also love work. Like, it's like they don't compare. It's just, it's different. But I think when we acknowledge that, like, just like working out, like, I just always go back to this because like, that's my background, is like 9 times out of 10, maybe not, maybe not 9, but like a good amount of time, I don't want to work out. Like I'm tired. I don't feel like it. I don't want to put my clothes on, like whatever, but I know how I'm going to feel after. And I don't make decisions based on where I'm at. I have to go forward. I have to think about how I'm going to feel later. That's literally the only thing that ever propels me to stay consistent in my health and wellness is like, I'm very consistent with those two things because I know that what happens if I don't do it, what is going to happen if I don't work out, or I don't even want to say work out, but move my body. What happens if I don't move my body? I'm going to be in my head. I'm going to be full of self-doubt. I'm going to be blah, blah, blah, all over the place. I need to get grounded and be in my body again, right? In the same way that I know what's going to happen if I don't write a sales page. Then I'm gonna have to explain the program to every individual goddamn person in DMs. Like, yeah, what? No, right? And for a while I resisted sales. I remember, yeah, because I was like, fuck sales pages. But it was just because I didn't want to do the work. I just wanted to play, right? And I really— I had to think about like the sales page as the workout. It might not be that enjoyable in the moment, but guess what? You're gonna feel so happy you made it after, right? And now I'm starting to actually enjoy them. But like, it's kind of like workouts, you kind of enjoy them after you get, you get better at them and you're not, you don't suck and you don't feel like a baby deer on ice. But like, yeah, it's that kind of acclimation of like, all right, you just gotta, just gotta get in there and get messy knowing that like it will pay off. It will pay off. It will pay off. It will pay off.

Well, it comes back to the question that you asked, that you, that you said earlier, which is, you know, having to ask yourself, how do I want to feel in business? Which is something that a lot of people, when they're starting on their journey, they don't ask themselves because they honestly don't give a fuck. They're just worried about like, how am I going to be successful? How am I going to make this work? Like, there needs to be profit. There needs to be money. There needs to be clients, right? I need to prove to myself and probably to the people around me that like, this is legitimate, that it's going to work. That's the only things that they're really concerned with. But I think it's such an intelligent question to really think about how you want to feel in business because you don't want to do what Sam and I both did, which was work extremely hard and overexert ourselves and get really close to burnout or actually burning out and then being like, okay, how do I like burn this all down to the ground and like start it in a new way all over again? You want to have a more sustainable approach to how you build your business from day dot, which is what we both help our clients with now. Because it's like we've done that and we're like, yo, you don't want to do— you don't want to do that. You don't want to be working 12 hours a day and taking clients on weekends and never having time for yourself, right? Like you have to consider how you want to feel in business. And space is something that— space and freedom is something that's like really important to both of us. And I'm starting to really like explore that space so much more, especially since moving home. I'm like, this is perfect because I'm in a brand new space. I'm totally out of my routine. This is such an amazing opportunity for me to completely revolutionize my relationship to work and my work schedule. Because I think when you're in the same environment for so long, you obviously just like anything, you get into a habit. You go to your desk first thing in the morning, you start working, you stop for lunch, you go back. Back, right? And now I'm like in this whole new space. My partner also, um, isn't working from home here like he was when we were in Madrid. And that used to really dictate my kind of like schedule. Like I would kind of base when I was working off of when he was working and now that's totally different. So I'm just like, I'm changing my whole relationship with work and I'm already working so much less. So, but if I had thought about that from day one, the way that I like built my business and went about it would have been different and I probably would have felt better throughout. And yeah, I think it is possible to still get results, um, and be successful either way. It's probably more so because you have a healthier mindset and you're prioritizing yourself, which is a thing that happens to a lot of entrepreneurs, is they lose themselves in the pursuit of success or building their business, and that never works.

Yeah, I mean, it's like why so many people get to 7 figures and they're not happy. It's because like they didn't do that question. They didn't ask themselves that question of how do I want to feel? Um, yeah, and it's sad, you know, it's really sad. Like I have totally reconstructed my business after getting clear on how— on that question for myself because I was like, I'm gonna be doing this for the rest of my life in some capacity. Like I don't want to kill myself in the process. Like literally, you know, like stress is one of the biggest killers. And I want to live a long life hiking mountains, dancing around, and I don't want my body or my mind to be totally effed because all I did was focus on work, you know? And like, I'm really starting to see how like valuable it is to even to like prioritize like my relationship with Kurt and like my family. Like I never did that. I always put work before them, always. And now I'm not. Like, I refuse to, I just refuse to do it, you know? And, and realizing like, at the end of the day, am I going to be like, who— I always go back to the like obituary question of like, what would your obituary say? And I don't want to be remembered as somebody who worked hard. I don't, I really don't. I want to be remembered as somebody who loved the shit out of her clients, out of her friends, out of her family. Who was present, right, who like was generous, who was fun and playful and reminded them to connect their inner child. Like, that's how I want to be remembered. Like, yeah, sure, like, I, I created an incredible business. But like, I want to be remembered by who I am, not what I do. Um, and I think that that is like, that can be scary for a lot of women who come from a background. I know you and I both did, where we were either celebrated or praised or seen for our accomplishments, right? Or maybe— and this is actually a conversation I had with a woman yesterday that I met randomly at a café— that their parents, one of their parents lived vicariously through them and their accomplishments, right? So like, if that is the case for you, then you will not be able to slow down or relax or rest. Because if you have that tie to your parent, like, there's going to be some part of you that actually feels like you're letting them down, right?

You can never rest. You can never rest because you're propping up their dream.

Yeah, yeah. And if, and if they're living like— this is kind of morbid, but I just want to put this into context because I feel like this may help a lot of women listening right now. If your mom or dad or caregiver lived vicariously through you and your accomplishments, maybe they didn't have the life they wanted, and so they wanted you to be so successful. If you don't work, right, and you are allowing yourself pleasure and just chilling and like just slowing the fuck down, there is going to be some part of your inner child that will think that your parent is going to die, right? Because you have been literally keeping them, air quotes, alive. So like on a deep subconscious level, you're scared that by you slowing down, you're going to kill your parent, right? And that's kind of fucking crazy. But think about that. Like, No wonder why we keep going and going and going and going, because if we don't keep performing, our parent will have nothing to live for, right? Or maybe someone that we're still proving ourselves or trying to get approval from will have nothing to live for. And we obviously don't want to create that type of harm, so we keep going. So like, if, if that resonates for you, I want you to just like acknowledge that. And all you have to do is acknowledge like, whoa. And that awareness itself can also just free you from the chains of overdoing, right, or overperforming, or over—

just look, it's so funny that you mentioned that because I just had a conversation with a client the other day where we kind of unpacked that realization that her mom had a really, really hard life and kind of viewed herself as this like, survivor, you know, she's always kind of like in the, in the, in the victim seat. And, you know, going from job to job, relationship to relationship. And she would always say to her daughter, like, you're the best part of my life. Like, you're the thing that makes me happy. Like, and realizing that that is a huge pressure on a human being of like, I am the thing that provides joy and happiness and purpose and a reason to live for my parent. And it's so true. Like, you always just kind of feel like you are coming up short when that is the standard that you have internally or subconsciously.

Yeah, yeah. And knowing that, like, you're— I mean, at the end of the day, like, the message that we want you guys to hear is, like, your happiness is your responsibility and everyone else's happiness is theirs. And it's like, your business gets to make you happy, right? Like, your life gets to make you happy. It is for you. It is not for anyone else. And you aren't responsible for them. You really aren't. So it's like, stay committed to your pleasure, stay committed to your well-being, stay committed to your alignment. Because like, that's it. That's, that's the point. That's the point. When you get to the end of your life, what do you want to say? You know, what do you want people to say? What do you want to feel like? You get to decide that now while you're in your 20s or 30s or 40s or 50s, right? Like, because it's never too late to change that. But man, like, if that's not a compass for your life, I don't know what is.

Yeah, I really hope that this conversation has just served as a reminder for everyone listening to think about the whole reason that you started, you know, like wherever you are in, in business, whether you just have an idea, whether you're, you know, really far along or you're somewhere in the middle, it's like, it doesn't matter. It's really important to come back to, why did I even start doing this? What is my why? What is the reason for this? How do I want to make others feel? And how do I want to feel in life and in business? Because that's the thing that's going to really guide you and be that North Star whenever you get to a place, which you inevitably will, where the comparison or imposter syndrome or whatever kind of like consumes you for a hot minute and you're like, I don't know what I'm doing. What the fuck is happening? I haven't created enough. I'm not doing enough. My engagement's not enough. My income's not enough. You will have moments like that. I think that we all do, but having that kind of touchstone to come back to of like, okay, why did I start doing this? What's important to me? What is the life that I want to live and be remembered for? What are the experiences that I want to create here on earth in this one precious gift of life that I've been given before I die. Like, we so forget how fragile this experience is and that actually the only important thing at the end of it is that you lived in a way that felt good for you because you're not actually going to care when you die about the millions of dollars that you made or didn't make. You're going to care about if you enjoyed the journey. So if you're building a business, make sure that you're enjoying that journey. Of how you grow and build your success, not just focusing on the next mountaintop and always stressing about how you're going to get there.

Yeah. Oh dude, this has been such a dope convo. I'm so happy. We, I like love doing these episodes with you.

I hope you guys enjoyed this conversation. Sam and I always like vibe together, so I don't even know how long we've been chatting for, but we could probably go forever. But if you enjoyed this conversation and you know somebody in your life who would find value in it, Please share this episode wherever you're listening to it and spread the love. Thank you guys so much. We'll talk to you soon.

Talk soon. Bye.

Bye.