Babyproof Your Business: What No One Tells You About Postpartum Success w/ Katja Lillian

What's up, you guys? Welcome back to the podcast. You have probably heard people say that motherhood changes everything, but no one really talks about the nitty-gritty of how it affects your business, marriage, and productivity as a female entrepreneur. Today's conversation is with someone who has recently lived it all, my longtime client and friend, Katya Lilian. She's a multi-six-figure coach, podcast host, and a new mom whose story perfectly captures the evolution of womanhood, entrepreneurship, and self. Katy built her business from the ground up, from side hustling while she was working full-time in tech to sold-out launches, making six figures, leading hundreds of women, and creating massive success online. But what makes her story so powerful is how that success has evolved through getting married, pregnancy, and the messy days of early postpartum when you're wondering how life will ever feel normal again and when your boss bitch self is going to return. So in this conversation, we talk about the very real fears that she had before becoming a mom that many female entrepreneurs experience, and also high achievers. Questions like, will my business fall apart? What if my desire to work goes away once I become a mom? Who will I become? What if I don't wanna show up anymore? And how she navigated those fears as a mindset coach herself. She shares with us the top 2 mindset shifts that every female entrepreneur needs, what it really looks like to rebuild your identity after baby, and how postpartum actually made her a stronger CEO. We also get really real about the resentment that can build between partners in early parenthood, the imbalanced workload that mothers have to take on, and how communication with your spouse has to evolve if you want the relationship to thrive. So if you've ever wondered what happens when your business, your body, and your identity all change at once, if you've ever had any of these fears about becoming a mom as an entrepreneur, or maybe you are a mom who's an entrepreneur and you just want to hear more of these conversations of people being real about it, this is the episode for you. It's going to bring you both peace and perspective. Let's dive in. Welcome to the Makeshift Happen podcast. I'm your host, Samantha Daly, entrepreneur, life coach, and your no BS bestie, here to bring you all things mindset, manifestation, and personal development. This podcast is designed to help you expand your mind and uplevel your life. So turn the volume up and roll the windows down if you're coming along for the ride. Let's go makeshift happen. Welcome to the podcast, Katya. I'm so excited that you're here. I feel like a lot of my listeners might already be familiar with you and know you because you've been part of my world for so, so many years, and it's such a special relationship I feel like we've built because of how long our journey together has been and just the evolution I think is the biggest thing. 'Cause when I really reflect on it, I'm like, yes, we've worked together and been in each other's orbits for several years now, but also how much your life and your business has changed. And same with me. And it's, there's something special about having those relationships with women in your life who you have that mutual respect for and getting to walk alongside them arm in arm and just like see each other grow and evolve and create and become new versions of themselves. You've obviously gotten married, you've become a mom, you've built this business, you've gone full-time. You're making multiple six figures. Like so much has happened for you. There's been so much expansion and I just feel honored and grateful that I've got to be a part of that journey and just witness it all. So Katya is a longtime client of mine and friend. Welcome to the show. We're gonna unpack everything and talk about a lot of that evolution. So I'm excited that you're here.

Thank you so much for having me. It's such an honor to be finally on Makeshift Happen. I've been dreaming of this day and it is such a full circle moment from where I started to where I'm at today under your wings. So yeah, I'm excited.

Yeah, so this is timely because we are coming up on Black Friday happening soon, November. We have the Top Tier immersion coming up. Obviously you've been in Top Tier before, you're in it again. So I was just kind of reflecting before this conversation and I was like, one of, I think, my favorite memories of that first round that you were in Top Tier was that Black Friday and that immersion when we were all just like selling together essentially from the Top Tier Immersion almost. We were planning those sales and prepping presales and waitlists and people were already like, you know, making sales and doing all these things. And then it was like, we went home from the immersion and it was like full throttle into Black Friday. And you guys were like all hitting $10K, $18K, $20K in like a matter of days. That was such a crazy experience because it was almost like the culmination of so much work that we had done together over the past years between From Brutal to Badass, Abundant and Ambitious, and Top Tier. And it's also just like one of my funnest, like, memories with my clients because it felt like we were all in this, like, electric energy of just, like, selling and doing the damn thing. Yeah, it feels full circle because we're coming back up again on another Top Tier Immersion. We're probably gonna slay Black Friday once again. And that was the very first year that I ever taught my clients that formula, really, like, the Black Friday formula. And so it was just so cool to see you guys literally freaking out because it was a lot of your highest cash weeks you had ever done. So that was one of my favorite memories of something that we got to experience together because it was just so cool to feel like, oh my gosh, this is really working, this is crazy.

I completely agree. It's one of my fondest memories of you actually as a coach and as a mentor as well, because I had worked with two other coaches before you, but no one ever invited me into their home. And I was just— I don't know, it just, it really hit me in the best way that you opened your home, which is usually something, you know, so sacred to someone, and you just invited us in with open arms. And then you're kind of Okay, business, let's go. And I remember my first thought when you talked about Black Friday and putting our deals together, my first thought was, I don't have time. I think it was 2 weeks before Black Friday. And if I had been alone and I thought about making deals and offers and just selling the shit out of it, I absolutely would've held myself back because I would've told myself I don't have time. But under your leadership and in the magic of the mastermind in the group, I was like, Fuck it, let's go. And you need that type of energy when you're building a business. You know it better than I do. Yeah, I think I pulled in $18,000, $20,000, somewhere around there, and I've never done it before. So it was just such a magical experience.

Yeah, it was so fun. And that energy, like when you're in community with other people that are like, okay, like you said, fuck it, let's go. I mean, that is something that is so infectious and magnetic and it just lights you up and you see other people like being like, okay, I'm, I'm getting over these excuses. Like, let's do it. And so you're like, well, if they're doing it, I'm going to— like, mom ain't raised no bitch kind of energy. You're like, okay, I guess I'm doing this. And we all just kind of went for it, and it was really, really fun. So that is definitely one of the most fun memories, and it was, it was cool to have you guys over at the house. And yeah, it was just such a fun weekend. So I love that. I love reflecting on that. That first group inside of Top Tier was really, really special. That was definitely one of your kind of breakthrough moments of, you know, really going all out on those holiday deals and having your highest cash week ever. But I'm curious when you reflect on your journey, what are some of your other, like, big breakthrough moments you would say in business? Like, any of those times where you were like, oh my gosh, like, wow, it's actually working, or I can't believe that I get to do this. Did you have any of those other moments where— I don't want to call them like I made it moments because I think we rarely feel like I made it, but yeah, those moments where you're like, okay, this is a new level?

Yeah, absolutely. I would say they were milestones to further prove to myself that I can actually do this. So I always say it's these moments where the floodgates open in your mind of, holy shit, this is possible. It's not just blind faith anymore. Now my brain has evidence and proof. So the first milestone was when I first signed my first one-on-one client, and that was no mentorship, no coach. I had hired my first life coach back in 2018, but I still know the business side of it. She was a life coach. And for those of you that don't know my story, I side hustled like the ultimate side hustler over here because I worked my full-time tech job and it required a lot of me. I actually moved to Chicago for them from Los Angeles, so it was a big job, it was a big career, but I knew my heart wasn't in it anymore. And I knew personal development and coaching was pulling me. That was my next step, but I was having such an identity crisis with it. And so my first life coach just helped me through that identity crisis of, it's okay if you were, you know, a tech girl before. You can change whenever you want to. You don't have to be stuck in that past narrative. And that really helped me. And so then with that mindset shift, I was able to essentially throw spaghetti at the wall to see what stuck in terms of coaching. And I just created a 6-week program It was $600, and I just started selling it on Instagram, and someone actually bought it. They actually said yes. And so that was the first milestone of like, oh my gosh, like, I could actually make money from coaching. And then another milestone was under mentorship, I had to raise my rates because I'm not gonna leave my 9-to-5 with $600, although it was so powerful at the moment. Eventually I was like, this is cute, but this is not going to replace my income. And so I invested into mentorship, and they told me, no, it's going to be thousands of dollars, and it's going to be for 6 months minimum. And then when my first client signed on with that amount, I was like, holy shit, this is possible. So a lot of those milestones have happened under you and your mentorship. I launched The Big Shift, my first group coaching program. I launched Building Her, my podcast. I launched SheEO, my first business mastermind for early and aspiring coaches. And so I think the, the secret here is just constant growth, already anticipating at this level now that other milestones are going to happen. It's not about if, it's just about when.

I love that so much. There's so many— like, it's fun to reflect back also on the early days of like, it's almost like the, the milestone of having the first client say yes is more important and a bigger deal than like hitting 6 figures or whatever, like those other big number things are, because it means so much more when it's like just the proof of I can actually do this. Right. And you're gonna keep hitting these milestones and getting to different places, but there is something special and nostalgic about those really early breakthroughs and those early wins that allowed you to break through the mindsets that maybe told you that it wouldn't work for you, or that it would take a really long time, or that it was too hard, or that no one would pay for that, or who's gonna trust me, or like all of those things, which is the, the main thing that really holds people back, which I know is what you help so many of your clients with, cuz you're so good at the mindset side. And I've heard other really incredible mentors talk about this idea of like, I could give you the best strategy in the world, and if you don't believe in yourself and you don't have conviction and you don't have confidence in what it is that you can offer and what you bring to the table, it doesn't fucking matter. Like, you could have the best strategy, the best playbook. You could learn from the giants in the space. You could pay hundreds of thousands of dollars to work with Tony Robbins himself, to fly out to Las Vegas and work with Alex Hormozi and his team. And you can get all of the playbooks and all the strategies. And if you are being poisoned from the inside out with your own mindset that says, I'm not good enough, or I can't do this, or who's going to care, or whatever, like, none of it will work. And so I know that's a huge part of what allowed you to be successful within yourself and then inspired you to kind of really study that and go deeper into the modalities to really be able to help people combat the mindset side, which, you know, is something that I also feel super passionate about because of the beginnings of my business in mindset and subconscious reprogramming. Like, we know how important that is to really have the right mindset going into entrepreneurship, especially so that you can be successful. So With that, I'd love to hear from you, you, from your own journey and also from what you've seen with your clients. What would you say are like some of the tip-top mindset shape things that people need to have in gear in order for them to be successful? Maybe it's like, okay, these are the, the 2 or 3 main things that I always see holding people back and they need to change those and really shift that in order to be successful. But yeah, what are you, what do you see as kind of the top ones.

Yeah, I love this question because as you were talking, two things came up for me. So number one, and this is so true in my journey but also my clients' journeys, I have these conversations over and over again. Number one is taking action before you have the belief. And that was so true for me because I didn't believe in myself. I've never been a coach before. I didn't build a six-figure business before. That was all my imagination. That was all my dream. That was all my desire. And so it still felt far-fetched even though I wanted it so badly. And I meet a lot of people, they want change, they want to do better, they want to make millions of dollars, but they don't do it. And so the big question is why. I think, and this is again based off of my own journey, they're not taking the action from a place of blind faith, right? It's more of just like not taking action at all, self-sabotage, all of that comes into play. And so for me, I had to show up online without knowing if someone was going to like what I say. I had to invest into mentorship and hope and pray that it's not a scam and that they're actually teaching me the blueprint and the roadmap of what they did so that I could also get a few steps further. There, there was one moment with a coach before, I had a thought of, what if this is not going to work for me, right? What if I do all this work and it It still just doesn't happen for me. But then I caught myself and I was like, bitch, you invested thousands of dollars and they got to where they are based off of the methodology that they are giving you right now. So sit down, put your head down and do the work. Just take the action. And that action disproves my limiting beliefs because over time that action leads to results., and then the results actually give me the belief that I'm looking for, right? Because my brain gathers the evidence and the proof that it needs to gain that belief. So that's number 1, you got to take action before the belief is even there. And number 2, I would even say before confidence, because again, I was not confident. I was just kind of trying shit, you know, and putting myself out there. But what was bigger than confidence initially was courage. I had to practice the muscle of courage to just, again, put myself out there, extend an invite via DMs on Instagram, lead a consultation call, handle an objection, say my price even though it was thousands of dollars. Like, I just had to practice courage over and over and over again, and those small milestones, those small wins, eventually led to me feeling confident about what I do and, and how I speak and how I show up now. But those are the top two: taking action before belief is there and courage before confidence is there.

So good. It's so true. I love that because again, a lot of people think that they are going to have the clarity or be able to develop the confidence, and that causes them to sit and kind of wait or be in the planning phase of the mapping out phase of the I'm being creative and coming up with my course idea phase because they're waiting to get hit with the lightning bolt of like, okay, and now I feel confident enough to move forward. And what you're saying with both of those things is basically like the only way you're going to feel that confidence is if you start acting and doing and creating and selling and pitching and putting yourself out there and exercising your courage and taking action to create the confidence. Because when you take action, you will start to get feedback. You'll be able to tweak. You'll be able to see a result. Okay, I signed a client. This is working. Stacks the proof. I feel a little bit more confident. And then that just builds and builds and builds on itself. So such a, such a good underrated thing is like activate your courage before you even have the confidence because that's how you eventually get to confidence. So for you, like a lot has changed in your personal life over the past year and a bit, let's say. Um, cause I think it was, was it— would it have been like just about a year ago that you got engaged?

Um, 2 years ago, October 2023. I had to think about that one too.

Me too, because in my head I was like, wait, was it a year ago? Because that's a lot. But it was 2 years ago, you're right. Okay, so 2 years ago you get engaged, but now you're married and you have a baby. And that was a huge portal for you, as it is for any woman having their first child and kind of going into that, becoming a mom. I'd like to ask you about your biggest fears or reservations that you had prior to that about becoming a mom and what it would mean for your life and what it would do to your career or your time or your sleep, or I don't know, what were the biggest things that you felt like kind of held you back a little bit mentally before taking that step?

Yeah, there was a number one fear that I had. Basically, I had this doomsday scenario that my business would crash and burn the minute I became a mom. That's just simply put. And I dealt with that for years because I remember I turned 30, and when I turned 30, I was like, whoa, okay, I have to think about kids.

And what is that? I think there's some— there's like a chip in our brains or something that when you turn 30, like, something happens, because the same thing happened to me. Like, I was literally not in any rush in any way. We kind of have a similar situation in the fact, like, we've been with our partners forever. You even longer than me, but like, you and Bert have been together since you guys were like kids. So when you're with someone like that, you know your life partner's at that point. You know you're gonna get married. You know that this is the person that you'll eventually start a family with. So it's not like, oh my God, is he gonna ask me? Like, what, is he committed? You know that you're in a committed relationship so you almost like relax in terms of the timeline of those things because you know they're coming. So I was like totally chill, and then I turned 30 and it was like— it was like a monster literally woke up inside of me that was like, babies must get married.

I'm laughing so hard. Bride.

I was like, what the fuck is happening to me?

Oh my gosh, it's so true. I remember I mean, I was at my tech company since the age of 23, and I was so committed and loyal to them, you know, although I didn't like the nature of my work in terms of tech and software, I did love the people, and the CEO is still such a great mentor of mine and such a great leader, and he actually introduced me to Tony Robbins and all that stuff, right? But I was only about work, like that was it. So tech company, climbing the corporate ladder, promotions, raises, moving cross-country for them, but then also let's make money online, And before coaching, it was more dabbling into the influencer brand deal type world. And that was just it for me. I was like, let's grow and let's be adventurous and let's travel the world. And then 30 hit and I'm like, fuck, I gotta think about marriage. I gotta think about potentially a house. I have to think about babies and not have to, but, but yes, like those were topics where for the first time I I sat down and seriously considered what does that look like for me. And initially fears popped up. And again, number one was with business, because the way I described my business back then before baby, it was my firstborn, right? Like you pour blood, sweat, and tears into your business. Like it is the number one thing that I cared about. And so to think of another baby, I was like, whoa, what's gonna happen to the firstborn? That was something I I had to work through also with you my first time in Top Tier. I brought it up to the group and I was like, how, how do I work with this? How do I deal with this? And the biggest thing, the biggest reframe that helped me in my journey was taking out the or and replacing it with and. So I chose to believe, I decided I get to be a mom and a business owner. I don't have to choose. And that was huge for me. Hence why I'm now a mom. Like, truly, that reframe changed everything for me.

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And then it was like, I'm a mom.

So you're like, I'm pregnant. Yeah. Like, oh, she's, she's an action taker.

Well, yeah, I mean, really, Bert proposed October 2023. We got married, sealed the deal March 2024. That same month, I then got pregnant. It was right after our honeymoon in Japan. And then baby popped out, 12/5. So it was crazy these last 2 years, but also such a driver in my growth. I'm sure we'll get into it more, but wow, in hindsight, I had no clue what would come up to the surface for me still to this day, but not in a bad or negative way, in such a way of, let's grow more, Katya. This is the ultimate up level. This was— this will actually help help and serve your business. This will make you become a better coach. Forget the crash and burn doomsday scenario. Like, you're here, you've arrived, and now you're only going to level up from here. So it's wild.

I'm curious to know if you felt like, I'm never gonna feel ready, so let's just like quite literally fuck around and find out, or if you got yourself to a place where you're like, no, I'm, I'm fully there. Like, what was it like Finding out that you were pregnant, like seeing the positive test, were you like still, those fears were like still very present and you were unsure or, and you were unsure or you were like already in that mindset of like, it gets to be this and the latter.

I was already in the mindset, let, let's fuck around and figure it out together. Let's do this thing. So I overcame my fears. Now there are more fears that came later on, but again, that was the biggest one. And I made peace with the, and I get to do both. And then also working with you in terms of all the preparation we did for my maternity leave, like I was just in it. And I don't know if it was a readiness that I had, but it was more of like, I decided I'm going to become a mom and I am going to trust and I'm going to have faith that my business will remain strong. Because it's not just a job for me. It, it's my whole purpose. It's my whole mission. It's for the long term. Like I'm gonna be here for a while, you guys. So I'm not going anywhere. And I just trusted that. Yeah. I leaned in.

Yeah. I think there's a, a beautiful message in there that we talk about a lot of like understanding that much of what we do is a long game. And when you allow yourself to like believe that this is my life's work, so I don't need to rush everything and I don't need to be at every single milestone in the next 6 months. Like you give yourself the ability to go, oh, well, if I'm gonna do this forever, then, you know, how long am I really gonna put off this next phase of my life for? And, and why would I do that? But I've also heard a lot of my entrepreneur friends who have become moms talk about their efficiency going up, their time management becoming better, really realizing it's almost like when you get stretched so much in your capacity, you realize is how you thought you were at full capacity before and you like weren't even at half. And it's like, I feel like it's kind of like when you work out with like a trainer or someone, it's like if you were to do it on your own versus when you go and you have someone going, come on, one more, you got it, you got it, you got it. And it's like, wow, you actually can push yourself so much farther when you have this like support or this person that's like expanding your capacity. And like children do that. I think a lot for moms is they expand your capacity of realizing, oh my God, like I can actually hold so much more emotionally, physically with my time management. So I'd love to hear from you what you've realized in this journey into motherhood now that has allowed you to be a better entrepreneur, to manage your time better. Like what has that done for you in a positive way?

Yeah, I'm so glad we're talking about this. Before becoming a mom, I thought I was at capacity, exactly what you just said. I thought I needed more hours in the day, or I used to tell myself there's not enough hours in the day. And I now, in hindsight, I realize that I was still operating from such a hyper-masculine place, such a hyper-masculine energy of go, go, go, hustle, hustle, hustle, do what you gotta do. If you have to work nights, if you have to work weekends, sacrifice, right? And that's literally how I built my business. Remember, I was side hustling, so I wasn't working on this 9 to 5. I was working on this weekends and evenings and a lunch break. And so that was just hardwired in me for years and years and years. When I worked with you preparing for maternity leave, that came out a little bit too, because I was like, okay, I've got 4 months, I have to build my own maternity leave. Let's fucking go. We're gonna prep all the podcast episodes.

We were, we were kind of intense with it.

We were very intense.

I remember at one point you sending me me the titles for like the next 18 podcast episodes, and you're like, rewrite these titles for me. I'm like, holy shit, this is like all the podcasts into the next year.

Like, it was crazy because I've never been that, uh, prepared before. And I had to think about my offers, I had to think about my launches, I had to think about what I was selling 4 months, 3 months in advance. And so that took me a while. And it absolutely served me. I'm still very happy I did that, of course. But when the 4 months was up, I was like, everything's gonna go back to normal, like I just need 4 months of mat leave. Yeah, joke's on me because I have this human with me attached to my boob 24/7. Like, there is no back to normal anymore. So I had a hard time with that realization, let's call it. And it's interesting, I don't know if your other entrepreneurial friends talk about this, but in my marriage I would almost look at Bert with so much resentment and jealousy a little bit because I was like, you don't have a baby attached to your boob, you get to work still 24/7. But he works at home, so I know it's a little different, but still, he got to work and I'm over here breastfeeding. And after the first 2 weeks of giving birth, I couldn't really walk because whatever happened down there. And it was just a lot. And then I think a lot of thoughts came up too of, you know, I'm the woman, so a little bit— I don't want to say victim mentality because it's true, it's real— but I just felt like I just went through so much, right? Like, I got pregnant, I held the baby for 9, 10 months, I delivered the baby, which is a life-changing experience as well. And now 11 months postpartum, she still wants mom. And so there's just so much as, as the woman, biologically speaking, that I had to sacrifice, that I had to give up. And I almost wanted Bert to just know that and see that. And it was on me to communicate that because he doesn't know what I'm actually experiencing on the inside. Of course, he saw me pregnant in the delivery room and all that stuff, but but he also thinks like, I'm an amazing woman and I can do all this stuff. He doesn't know that I'm hurting inside, right? So I had to communicate that to him. And I think now with the time management piece, because that was also like, you still have so much time, I don't— I could easily hire a nanny, I could have help, I could fly out my mom and live with us, you know, whatever I need to do. But I am choosing, I recognize I am choosing to want to spend most of my time with my daughter, right? Like the idea of just hiring a nanny, whether it's full-time, part-time, and I understand people need to do that, but for me it doesn't feel right. It doesn't feel good. And so understanding that about myself and my motherhood journey, I was like, how are we gonna make it work during her nap times? And the nap times have been been so huge for me because that's like 3, 4 hours a day and at night now after 8 PM. And what I've been doing, Sam, and it's been working for me, is prioritizing the shit that I need to get done during those windows of time. And what used to take me 2 hours takes me 30 minutes. It's wild. And so that's what I meant by it's actually helped my business. It's actually helped me look at things that don't matter anymore and like letting that go and then just focusing on the things that do matter that move the needle forward in my business. And I'm not wasting time as much. I'm not procrastinating. I'm just— I'm making things happen. I can't afford to.

It doesn't fit into the time budget to do a death scroll for 30 minutes to get inspiration for a post. Correct. When you're like, and this baby is about to wake up, motherfucker.

Post, it's good enough.

Post it, just post it. But I love what you said. It's kind of like the, the, the saying of if you're not changing it, you're choosing it. And I think it's really easy to fall into some of that like victim mentality, as you mentioned, but then you have to be able to recognize, but this is something that I'm choosing, right? So I'm allowing myself to feel like a victim to the circumstances, but I am in fact choosing these circumstances. I'm not asking for help. I'm not bringing my mom. I'm not getting a nanny. I'm not having a regular babysitter or whoever, because you want to be the person who's there. So it's interesting how we can find ourselves doing that, where we're choosing something and we do want that thing. Then at the same time, we allow ourselves to feel like we're a victim of the, of the circumstances. And it's a, it takes a really self-aware person with like a strong mindset to be able to to flip that and kind of recognize that that's what's happening. Because a lot of times, if you really are too deep in that, you won't even be able to see the forest for the trees with that situation. Or if it was somebody else and you were to say like, hey, but like, it's like when someone's like, oh, I don't feel good, but like, it's so hard for me to go to the gym and I don't want to, and whatever and whatever. And it's like, okay, but like, it's like, how do I tell you that like, it's your fucking fault? Yes. It's amazing when you can be the type of person to be able to call yourself out on that. But I think it's so normal to feel this, like, jealousy with your partner who didn't have to sacrifice as much and who doesn't have to go through all of those things, and to kind of silently be like— it's weird, like, almost wanting them to have, like, pieces of the pain so that you could share that, but they actually can't take that on for you. I think, like, sometimes Jaime and I sometimes talk about this because he's very much like, if I see too much of the labor, like, I probably will pass out. Like, when we talk about, like, having kids and stuff like that, and there's a part of me that's like, hey, don't forget that every month we are picking a Listener of the Month to win $50 in cash just for showing love to the show. All you have to do is leave an epic review of the podcast on Apple Podcasts, screenshot the review before you hit submit, and DM that screenshot to us on Instagram at Makeshift Happen. Podcast. And that's it. I want to thank you for being such a loyal listener and show my appreciation by putting a little extra cash in your pocket. I know it's super easy not to do it, but every single rating and review seriously helps the show rank higher and reach new people, so we appreciate them more than you know. We'll announce the next winner at the end of the month and slide into your DMs if it's you, so keep an eye out and good luck. Love you guys, and thanks for supporting Makeshift Happen. You're going to watch it because that's the least you could do. You are going to witness. I know there's some people that are like, I don't want him to see me like that. I don't want him to see down there. I'm like, you better fucking front row. I want you to see if it tears. I want you to— I want it to splash on you. Like, I literally want you to know the pain deeply. I want it to be seared in your fucking brain. The sacrifice that gets made for this family. From someone who's not had kids yet, I already can tell that it would be so easy to be like, you don't get it, you don't get it, and I want you to get it.

Yeah, I, I'm crying over here, splashing on your face. Let's get ready. So true though. Um, yeah, so, so with me, with the delivery room. I am so proud of myself and so happy that I had the means to hire a doula because she was in the room with us. And the biggest reason why I hired one is because I also didn't want to resent Bert for what he did or did not do in the delivery room. I've heard husbands, men, they, they don't know how to support, so they kind of just sit there and scroll on their phone. I was like, uh-uh, that's not gonna happen. And so my doula was there and she actually like told him like, hey, maybe like go massage her back, or hey, like go whisper that you love her in her ear, or something, you know.

And while she's like a woman instructing—

and I didn't know this until afterwards, of course, but in the moment it helped so much just because you're in physical discomfort, for lack of a better word. And he then did those little things, and I just felt truly so supported. And I felt like he was there with me, like there on the bedside. So that was huge. And then he did watch everything.

Good.

Front row seats. What a man. It's interesting though, because I was also like, Jaime, like, oh my God, he's gonna pass out or something, you know? Like, that's weird. I'm not even seeing it. I'm just pushing, you know? And he was like, it was actually the most insane, incredible, like, holy shit, is this what's happening? And did my wife just just do that. Like he said, it was just also such an amazing experience and, and thing to witness for him. Yeah, I think it was just so special that he was able to see it. Obviously for me, he then also said, I can't even imagine what you've been through and what your body feels, but like you are Superwoman to me and what you just did and created. Like it was just really cool. For him to be there and see it. So I actually recommend it. Tell Jaime.

Jaime better watch out. I'm stacking this. I'm stacking these points high. So to go off of that, like the dynamic, I think a lot of people talk about how your love and your relationship obviously shifts and change— changes when you become a parent. There's a lot more stress on the relationship because you now have a new baby and you're both learning how to be parents and it's a whole new thing. And there's a lot of sleep deprivation and all these things. But I also hear a lot of people talk about how it really, really deepens your bond with that person and almost like makes you more attracted to them. And you see them in a totally new light when you see them as the parent of your child that you co-created. So I'm interested to hear from your perspective, especially as, you know, a female entrepreneur who brings in a lot of revenue to the household, what the identity shifts were like for you in that sense and how it affected or impacted your relationship, for better or worse, in the early days of being new parents together?

Yeah, when I planned for my 4-month maternity leave, I thought everything would go back to normal. And what I didn't realize is that I don't have my standard schedule anymore. I don't have the luxury of time anymore. I, you know, I don't have any of that. And That was really hard for me in the beginning to just come to terms with that and realize that that was such a huge shift and change in my working schedule. When I felt that, it exposed gaps. It exposed how I perhaps don't communicate as effectively or as efficiently as I do now because, I mean, we both just work from home and we have our computers, and after breakfast and workout, you sit down and you work, right? And so for me, it was more about asking for help in a way that wasn't so— how do I say it—

like nagging.

Nagging, but kind of being okay with that. I think before I was a bit like still like, like too polite, or you were like, like people-pleasy. People-pleasy, like worried about kind and nice. And again, that I wasn't even aware of that until afterwards. I was like, why am I about to bite my tongue right now? Why do I feel like I have to walk on eggshells right now? Right? And that pissed me off by my own behavior. And so I was like, fuck it. Like, if I need help, I'm gonna ask for help right then, right there. However it comes out, it's gonna come out. And what happened was a lot of like tiffs and, you know, nagging and fights and things like that because he wasn't used to that version of me, right? And so It was interesting because I had to get comfortable with that and be okay with that, but then also he had to learn how to receive that while still also communicating how he felt and his needs. So it was just a lot of communication is what it comes down to. Still to this day, I'm almost 11 months postpartum and it's still talking and communicating and working on the respectfulness and the timing and how do we hear each other. A lot of that is still happening and happened early on.

Sounds like you were learning how to be more direct and clear with what you needed, and maybe he was used to a more sugar-coaty version of your requests, so he took that as like maybe you being agitated or irritated or annoyed or unhappy with him. And so it's like learning how to be more direct and clear with each other on both sides without taking offense. And also holding the level of respect of just because you wanna be direct and clear doesn't mean you can be bitchy, right? Yeah. I think when you have less sleep and you have a total change and shift in your hormones and you are overstimulated and there's someone always touching you and they're naturally like the way that you are gonna ask for things is gonna be a little bit more urgent than how you would probably say things before, I would guess.

Absolutely. You're spot on. I remember you just said, someone's always touching you. I laugh because there was one moment where we're all laying in our bed and Bert's like cuddling with me, my daughter is on my boob like side-lying breastfeeding, and my two dogs are at my feet touching me. I was like, this is insane, like my female body, everyone wants to cuddle and be with. And you feel for a long time that it's not really yours temporarily because it's needed by everyone else. And it's this weird dynamic— I'm still going through it— of not refinding or reclaiming myself, but it's more of like this new version of Katya, this new body of Katya, this new personality of Katya, this new fire in my belly Katya. How are we now moving forward? How are we now working on a relationship with our body. There's still a lot of new that I am uncovering, but it's also so damn exciting. And it's more about building that version of the, this new identity that I've created.

How glad are you and how many times have you noticed like, wow, I'm so grateful that I did so much personal development work on myself before I came a mom. Like how many moments have you had in the past 11 months where you're like, do Dude, thank God I'm like this evolved, self-aware, emotionally regulating, you know, emotionally intelligent version of myself every damn day.

Really though, because for me to even articulate and have the words to tell Bert, I don't feel like myself right now, I'm dysregulated right now, I'm irritable right now, I'm annoyed right now, I know it's not your fault, don't take this personally, but— and just having that communication there and self-aware has been huge. I also have to say, Amalia, my daughter, she wasn't an oopsie baby. Like, she was planned and prepared. And so I think that also helps because I was a little bit prepared to take this on. Of course, there's so much that I wasn't prepared for, but I, I think the mindset going into it is my foundation. It's huge for the, the readiness, quote unquote. And now to have done the personal development, to know what my insecurities are, to to understand how it feels in my body if I am dysregulated and how to regulate myself again. The fact that I journal my own thoughts to even understand what's going on in Katya, and then again to articulate that to my partner, huge, absolutely huge. I really don't know how I would have done it without any of that. I think we would have many more problems and, and bigger problems.

I mean, and you, so you can see how important and relevant it is to do the work that you are continuing to do regardless of, you know, where the women that you work with are at in, in their lives, cuz everyone starts at a different stage, but it's like, regardless of whether you are going to have kids or you've already had kids, like really working on yourself and your mindset is only going to make your family life and, you know, the relationship with your child better and the relationship and communication with your partner better. And it's so, so important. I'm curious to know at this point, because you're now, almost a year postpartum, what your kind of vibe is in business right now? Because you talked about one of your biggest fears going into motherhood was that your business was going to crash and burn. And then you mentioned that you also thought, if I can prepare for 4 months of maternity leave, everything will go back to normal after that. And that wasn't the case. So where are you kind of at now? Like, what's your perspective? How are you feeling? What's your vibe in business now almost a year later?

One thing I want to say before I answer that question because it also ties in with my answer for that. I was listening to another podcast yesterday, and they also talked about parenthood and how you can always quote-unquote teach your kids values, belief systems, that kind of stuff. But more so, your kids learn just by who you are, not by what you do. So they said that emotions, values, beliefs thoughts, emotional regulation. It's caught, not taught. And that resonated with me big time because I was like, that just adds even more fire in my belly to understand myself and keep up the personal development. Because if I can't emotionally regulate myself, and if I am always just stressed out and anxious and pulling out my hair, she's going to get that just by me being me. And so it gives me just more motivation to constantly work on myself so that I get to be this, this energetic type field that she takes from. She watches everything I do. It's kind of wild. It's kind of trippy. Like, I could be eating and she's staring at me. I was like, she's looking at how I'm eating right now. But anyways, I just wanted to share that. So But with business, I'm so grateful to my daughter and that I am a mom now because before having her, I mentioned I was still in that mask— hyper-masculine mode, and I would have never wanted to teach her that you've got to build a business, you've got to sacrifice all this stuff. While some of that is of course important, I also want to lean into the feminine energy a little bit more. And postpartum, I've been forced to lean into more of the flow and the ease and the play, which I'm so grateful for because again, I don't want her to equate work with my mom's not present, my mom's gone, work supersedes Amalia, right? And so now the way I'm operating in my business, I mean, there's a lot of trust, one within myself, but two, kind of going back to my answer before, this is my life life's work. And so although seasons of it might look a little different, I trust that I'm in it for the long game. Things are going to happen. I'm sitting right now here on your podcast. Like, that's amazing for me. That, that, that was huge for me to essentially shoot my shot, right? Or now I'm being more strategic with my own podcast episodes and what I'm talking about. I also notice I'm going for things more. I'm thinking bigger instead of just one-on-one clients. Well, okay, let's raise those prices, but also are we launching another program? Are, are we retiring it? Are we thinking more about a membership? Like, what are we doing here in the energy of ease, in the energy of flow? It's kind of fun doing it this way, and I honestly believe in my journey I had go through pregnancy, delivery, now postpartum, to really lean into that more. I thought I had moments of leaning in, but this is like a whole nother level for me.

Yeah, I love that you unlocked a whole new level of like trusting, and I think patience, and allowing things to come in their time. And of course, you, you've always been a hard worker and you always will, but it's that balance between the new priorities that you have you have in your life and what is the most important is always going to be at the top of that list. And right now that's obviously your daughter and your family, and you still get to run a profitable, beautiful business. And you also know that you're going to be doing this for a really long time, so you don't need this first year postpartum to be the biggest year that you've ever had. And there's a lot of joy and peace in that. And I think you've, you've done some really incredible things. Just even when we were preparing for your, um, maternity leave in terms of kind of like babyproofing the business of having a lot of podcasts prerecorded and ready to go and having all of your emails and newsletters scheduled and planned and, you know, planning out the next two launches that were gonna happen when you came back from maternity leave and all of that. There was so much preparation in that that really helped you kind of lay the groundwork for how you could see a longer runway of things that were coming down the line.. And I think that also helps in this stage where, you know, okay, maybe I can't do the same whip up an offer and sell it in 10 days kind of vibe because you need a little bit more time, but you have that like more longer vision for like how to bring things to fruition. And there's a lot of fun projects that I know that you're working on behind the scenes. Yes. So I won't give any spoilers, but I know that there are things coming. Okay, people.

Well, and I think to add to that too, with this uplevel that I have gone through and still going through, it's given me as just a human, as a woman, so much more confidence of what I'm capable of. I— it's hard to describe, but the fact that I carried this baby, and then again, for me more so the delivery, it was just like, whoa, what did I just do. Like, if I'm able to do this, business is like common sense. It's a no-brainer. Like, of course you can fucking do it. You just created a baby. And that uplevel has actually helped me in my business because for some reason now it clicked. People buy the person first, then they buy the product. And so the way I'm even showing up online, the way I'm Speaking, it feels different to me. It feels like Katya's the spotlight, the human. Let people in, be vulnerable, share your story, speak more with confidence and conviction, trusting that whatever you create, whenever you create it, people are going to buy because they love you. And that has clicked for me on another level because of what I just have gone through.

I think you just give less fucks.

That's a good way to put it. Yes.

You know what I mean? You're like, this is me and I'm gonna be even more me because actually you can't mess with me now. Like, I think that's kind of the energy shift that happens when you have a baby, right? You're just like, literally, like, people talk about they have way less fucks after they have a baby. It was like, you can't disrespect me. Don't talk to me like that. I don't care. Leave a hate comment. Go fuck yourself. Like, it's just kind of like this energy comes over you where it's like, it's mama bear. It's like mama bear energy. And I think that that's really helpful of what you're speaking to of like personal brand. Is like being more of your freaking self because you don't care as much anymore about needing to fit in the box or be everyone's cup of tea or whatever. And so that's a whole unlock in and of itself.

Well said. Yes. As you were talking though about giving less fucks. So this was also something that came up for me during pregnancy and after, but it, for those of you that are not familiar, my personal development journey started with my body image. I'm a tall queen. 6-foot over here, and that was actually really hard for me growing up. I was made fun of and bullied, and I was taller than the girls and the boys and all that stuff. I think actually just as females in general, the emphasis and the focus is always on the beauty and the size and always about appearance and external. Whether we like it or not, I think that's still very part of our— a huge part of our experience. And so once I had Amalia, it was also giving less fucks about what people think of me in terms of beauty standards and how my body looks, or if I snap back— I'm using air quotes over here— or just any of that noise. I was like, I don't give a fuck. Like, none of that defines me. I love myself. I am confident. I'm a bad bitch. And I own that more. But it was interesting that that still came up for me 10 years in the game. I was like, oh, there's still this emphasis and this focus on what I look like and a deeper insecurity of, is that good enough?

There's always— it's just another reminder of like, there's always new levels of healing on everything that we think that we've already conquered and fixed. And I think for sure The portal into motherhood is gonna bring up a lot of those things cuz it's a whole new level of you. It's a whole new level of your life and it's a whole new level of your business and just like who you're becoming. So it's been really beautiful watching you go through it. Obviously as someone who's talked quite a bit on the podcast about wanting to become a mom and interviewing my entrepreneur friends about their experiences and, and all of that. So I love having these conversations. I also know there's a lot of women in my audience who are at similar stages. Stages of their life, whether they have, you know, young kids or they're— they want to start a family at some point. So I really love learning from the women who have already been through the fire. And thank you so much for bringing all your wisdom today when it comes to, yeah, life after babies and how it affects your business and relationship and mindset and all the things. It's been so, so good. If you guys don't already follow Katya, go give her a follow. I'll let her shout out her socials and we'll link everything in the show notes below for you. So let them know where to find you, babe.

Yeah, thank you so much for having me. You can find me on Instagram at @katya.lillian. That's the best way to find me. And I do just also want to say, I really hope my story, and I hope just my everything that I just shared in the last hour, really does help someone if they are considering motherhood or if they're going through it right now. Like, it shouldn't be a lonely experience. I think we need to have more conversations like this so that we all feel a bit more seen and understood. So I just thank you, Sam, for having me on, and giving me your platform so that others can learn. I, I truly hope I helped someone today.

I love it. Love you. Thanks for coming on. All right, you guys, thanks for tuning in. If you love this episode, if you know another mom or mom-to-be who might benefit from this conversation, or another business friend who you know is kind of in this phase of life, copy the link to this episode, send it to them in a text, let them know you were thinking of them. Share this conversation with someone in your life who you think would benefit from it, and we will talk to you guys next week. Bye! If you loved this episode, make sure to check out the show notes where I've linked a few similar episodes I know you're also going to love. You'll find them under the similar episodes section in the description down below with direct links so you can dive in and start listening right away, or add them to your queue for later. Binge away for even more growth, expansion, abundance, and fire motivation.