Body Love & Soul Nourishment w/ Georgia Barnett

Welcome to the Makeshift Happen podcast. I'm your host, Samantha Daly, entrepreneur, life coach, and your no BS bestie, here to bring you all things mindset, manifestation, and personal development. This podcast is designed to help you expand your mind and uplevel your life. So turn the volume up and roll the windows down if you're coming along for the ride. Let's go make shit happen. Welcome back to the podcast, guys. Today I have a very special guest with us. She is a friend and someone I am so excited and honored that I got to know this year inside of my mastermind. This is Georgia Barnett. She is a woman's self-love, body acceptance, and empowerment coach, and I'm so excited for you to just listen to not only her wisdom but also feel her energy and like the pureness in her heart and her just genuine excitement for life. Like, she has hands down probably the best energy in our whole mastermind, and everybody is obsessed with her. Every time she talks, like, we all just die laughing because she's like a fireball. She's the best. So anyway, Georgia, welcome to the show. So excited to have you.

Thank you, Sam. Thank you for that wonderful introduction. It's Truly an honor to be here, and I'm so excited.

Yeah, I'm excited to have you. Okay, so obviously you work a lot with women around self-love and body acceptance. So just to give the listeners some context, I'd love for you to share your sort of a snippet of your personal journey and your relationship with your body. What it's been like and how it's evolved over the years.

Yeah, definitely. Thank you. So it's definitely been a tumultuous relationship, and now I say, you know, it's actually— I'm so grateful for it because, because I went through that. Now it's my biggest passion to help women go through that. But I think, you know, growing up, I went to an all-girls private school, had an older sister that my mother idolized and had this perfect body, and I came on my period when I was 11, and I was a bit awkward and I had boobs really young and everyone around me, their body was different. And I think I just remember always feeling like this trapped inside this body that I wasn't comfortable with. And it was really quite difficult to navigate. And then my mother, just doing what she thought best, sort of put me on a diet. And then so from a really young age, I remember you know, watching others around me eating certain foods, it was like, "Georgia, you don't need that. Georgia, should you be eating that?" And so then certain foods, there was this taboo around them, you know. And then when I got older, I was by myself, there was that feeling of, "Oh, I can just go in the cupboards by myself because no one's watching me." And so that's from a really young age, food kind of became quite imbalanced for me in that way because I was quite aware of dieting. Um, so it really stems back to, you know, 11, 12, 13, 14, and even around 16 years old. I remember again just feeling really uncomfortable in my body. Um, and then as I got older, what happened was it all kind of also related to not developing boundaries and women around me that were quite strong characters. And because I wasn't able to put my boundaries up or voice my needs, so what would happen was I'd get so angry and upset with myself, and then I would use food in that way. So I kind of turned to binging because also there were these foods that I was and wasn't allowed to eat. So then what would happen was that I would binge on them, and I think it was a way of of pushing down my feelings, not— or not knowing how to voice my feelings, so turning to the food. But it came this, this kind of big secret, and then it was this cycle that I would binge, and then I'd feel really disconnected to my body. And then I was just in this constant kind of binge-restriction cycle of trying to get myself out of it but not really understanding why. And along with it obviously came a lot of self-judgment my weight going up and down, um, and judging myself by seeing kind of others around me. And it was just a really difficult part of my life to navigate because it became this secret and something that was so shameful for me. And, you know, if anything happened, or I didn't know how to sit with my feelings, you know, we're not actually taught how to sit or be with our feelings. So I would use it to numb or avoid, or it actually became a way of kind of beating myself up as well. And this went on into, you know, all through university and even in my early 20s. And then it got to this point where the restriction cycle would be really, really, really bad, and then I would try and get myself out of it, and then I would over-exercise, and then I wouldn't eat, and then of course I'd fall off the bandwagon and just go into these dark binges and these dark, dark, dark spirals.. And then I really realized that it was bigger than me and actually I can't do this by myself. And so I really actually sat my mum down and, you know, I didn't even understand it myself. So my parents didn't understand it, but they of course wanted to help me. So we actually found— it was an eating disorder clinic in London and it was really beautiful because it was actually holistic, whereas a lot of eating disorder clinics they just focus on the food. You know, they just, they just focus on if you're suffering with anorexia, they want to get your meals up or they want to get your weight up or they just focus on. But the clinic that I went to was extremely holistic. And so we started meditating. And I remember, you know, this is, this is about 7 years ago, which was really the start of, I guess, my spiritual journey. And I'd be like, how? I can't meditate. How am I supposed to sit with my body? You kidding? Like, Or, you know, and we'd, we'd have to talk about things with the therapist and, and I'd be like, "Well, what do you know with your perfect body?" Like, I was so still stuck on this, so stuck on this black and white thinking of, "Well, I just need to sort my body out because when I sort my body out, then everything in my life will be fine." Like, and I would say to therapists, "Just stop me bingeing." And actually what this clinic did was really help me to really unpick where those old limiting beliefs came from and to relearn who I am. Who is Georgia Barnett? Because when you have— when you suffer from an eating disorder, it robs that from you. It kind of really, um, diminishes your soul. So I really had to find my soul again and find out who is Georgia Barnett, what are my passions, what turned me on, what do I enjoy. And so I started doing art therapy and actually just writing poems on poems on poems that just flow out about my experience, and it was always this dark journey that I was lost, but then I would always find my way. And actually, recently I found a lot of my old poems. I'm here at my parents' house, and it just took me back to that, to that place. But actually seeing that there was always this light at the end of the tunnel was really incredible to read back. But anyway, so we— I really had to unpick who I am to understand the core of those old limiting beliefs. And understand that I'm not those old limiting beliefs, you know, that I am worthy, I am loved, that I am capable. And, and who am I? Who am I deep at my core? And so I refound this love for poetry. I had to stop exercising for a while because I had to come back to it from a place of not wanting to do it because I hate myself. And actually, this gray area of recovery is something that I feel really passionately about because I think You know, we hear a lot of recovery stories, but it isn't just from A to B. You know, there is this gray area and it is a bit mucky and icky of, okay, so you want— you understand where the eating disorders come from. You're learning about who you are, but it's still really uncomfortable, you know, and your body is going up in size maybe, or it's trying to find its natural groove and you're relearning everything that, you know, it's— you're like a child relearning a whole new language. So I relearned how to kind of move my body from this place of love And I understood that I'd gone through this journey and that I need to help others go through this myself. And so that was, that was 2014. And really since then I've been on this, because of course when you, when you start to go inside and to learn about who you are, you go on a spiritual journey. You really start to open your mind, your body, and your soul to to who you are, to what sparks your soul, to kind of what is life. Because when you're so, when you're so stuck in this black and white thinking, you know, I mean, I wasn't there for so many years because I was so fixated on the food and the calories and beating myself up. And, and then what happens is you actually start to become present. And I remember that feeling of just experiencing joy for the first time, just for the sake of experiencing joy. And there's nothing like that feeling. And now it's my biggest passion of, of wanting to help women to experience that and to understand that it's never about the body and it's never about the food, you know, and to really help women to, to learn about who they are, to understand their soul nourishment, what turns them on, what sparks their soul on fire. Because often, you know, it's sad, but even in our mid-20s and our 30s or whatever, We don't actually do that. We don't go on that journey of self-discovery. So even in that pothole, or even when we feel like we're in that darkest depths of despair, actually the, the magic that is on the other side is so worth it because we go on this journey with ourselves. And that journey that we go on with ourselves is the most rewarding journey we could ever go on. The relationship with ourself is is the most important relationship in, in our life. And so my biggest passion is helping women understand that we are our own best friend, you know, we are our biggest cheerleader and our best investment, and that, that we deserve to go on that journey and that we deserve to love our bodies. And so what's really important for me though as a women's coach is that I'm not when I'm coaching women and I'm taking workshops and, and I'm leading experiences and, you know, sisterhood and women coming together is one of my biggest passions. Because from my own experiences, when women come together in a place where we're not judging each other, we're not looking at each other's bodies, we don't care about each other's past, we're just here holding space for each other, I mean, so much magic occurs. Um, but for me, it's so important that I'm not saying, you know, I've gone on this journey and now I'm here at the top of the mountain and I'm perfect. I'm, I'm not. I'm a woman and I still have triggers. There are days I still binge, you know, and, and I'm honest with clients. You may find food, you will find food freedom, but you may never binge, but you might. It might just be, it might be one of those really old behavioral patterns that comes up again and it's okay. You're human. It's about how do I, you know, get back on the bandwagon? How do I turn this around? How do I change up the energy? How do I not beat myself up and not get so stuck in the guilt and the shame?

Yeah.

You know, and I think that's so important because I don't think it's spoken, this gray area of recovery is spoken enough because it is frustrating when you know how you want to feel or you know that you've made changes or you know you're not the same her that you used to be, but you're still doing some old patterns. And I just, you know, it's so important for me to share that it's okay. You're human. You're a woman. You know, we're perfectly imperfect. And this journey is not about being perfect. And that's where eating disorders come from. You know, this discipline and needing to be perfect and having to get things right and then feeling like we messed everything up. And actually, one of the best things that one of my, my, my therapists Victoria Ward said to me was, you know, Georgia, if you're driving a car and you slash one of the tires, you're not gonna then go slash the other 3 tires, are you? And, and when, when you're stuck in that thinking, that black and white thinking, or when we're stuck in the eating disorder, or, you know, when we—

well, we're all or nothing, the all or nothing thinking.

So it's like, oh, I've had 3 biscuits or cookies, um, you know, fuck it, excuse my French, right? I've got to go have everything now. And then you, you're in that snowball effect, or it's that all or nothing, or I've messed it up. And maybe for somebody it's with alcohol, or maybe, you know, we all have our vices. But that just helping, really helping women to understand that it doesn't need to be this all or nothing thinking, and, and helping them to sit with it, you know, really being able to sit with it. And because I have and am still walking in your shoes Like, I really see you and get you and understand you, and I know how difficult it feels to sit with it. So I have cultivated through my own journey and experience my own toolbox, my own self-love toolbox. And so I help women through creating their own toolbox of, okay, when we're in these situations, whatever your specific triggers are, let's open the toolbox Okay, and what are some tools that you can use in this situation? And you know, for me, even years on, it's really funny that one of my triggers is coming back home, and I'm back home at my parents' house now, and I think it brings up those old memories of, oh, my mum's not here, so I'll just— and I'll watch, I kind of, it's like you have that out-of-body experience, you know, I like watch myself open the fridge and then close it, and then watch myself open the cupboard and then close it, and then that higher part of me is able to to slow everything down, see what's happening, you know, then really talk to myself. But I wasn't always able to do that. So really being able to help clients, to help women through their triggers, to just, you know, slow everything down and not to be scared to feel.

Yeah, well, I think this, this idea of, uh, triggers that you mentioned is relevant to anything else in life that Triggers us, you know, like maybe, um, if you feel like your feelings are hurt by something that your partner says and your natural habitual reaction is to yell or shout or get really angry, or your natural habitual reaction is to close off, hide away, not speak, not share. As you're working through that and getting better at shifting that pattern and solving that, Surely there's going to be times and moments and arguments and things that, that happen that cause you to revert back to the old pattern, the old way of being, right? And that doesn't mean that you're not getting better at communicating or sharing your feelings calmly or expressing your vulnerabilities or having those hard conversations. Doesn't mean that you're not getting better. Right? But sometimes when this happens with food or exercise, we suddenly are like, oh well, now my progress goes back to zero, right? Because I've reverted to this, this old pattern that I used to have. So now that means I've made no progress at all. Like, we just discard everything that's ever happened that has ever been good, and we're like, oh, I'm back to zero, I suck.

It's so, so, so true. And definitely that's why it's so important to come back to that reminder of even how even the smallest steps, the biggest triumphs. And exactly that, reminding ourselves we're not where we were, or, you know, we're not even— we don't have to be the person we were 5 minutes ago. But also that you have, you know, just— I say to my clients, sometimes even about talk to yourself even, even as if you were a little child, you know, like just remind yourself you've got yourself. I'm back. Coming back home to yourself is okay. Everything's okay. I've got myself. I'm not— I haven't messed this up. I'm not back to square zero. Everything's okay, you know. And even just because sometimes, yeah, the mind likes to catastrophize the situation, and exactly like what you said, makes us feel like, oh my God, we're back at square one again. So even just being able to come back to ourselves by talking to ourselves, you know. I say a lot to, to the women in my community about your inner cheerleader. Let that inner cheerleader come out, like, root for yourself, remind yourself, you know, it's all right, it's okay, G, everything's fine. And even if, what, for whatever happens and you, you do give in to that trigger, it's also okay. You haven't messed anything up. Every moment is a new moment to start again, and you've learned something new in that situation, and it wasn't the same as it used to be.

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Yeah, yeah, I wanted to talk about this, about the what I call like the inner critic versus the inner best friend. And I, I, I love that you use like different terms for that. I heard you call it like the inner mean girl and like the inner cheerleader. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think that's so cute. So yeah, talk a little bit about like those two voices and how we can start to like identify them, or utilize them to help us through those moments.

Yeah, absolutely. So I think we can all relate that we have that kind of devil and angel on our shoulder, and sometimes it really is hard to distinguish what the right voice to listen to is, or who the—

or which one is me.

Which one is me. Exactly, exactly that. And actually, it's a big part of, um, healing from food freedom and eating disorders as well, because it's really hard to distinguish that voice that's you and which is the eating disorder. So I used to actually think of when I say that they talk about the inner mean girl. So that voice, and I used to actually picture her kind of like a monkey as well, like a bit chimpy, like laughing at me. And then I'd say, well, stop laughing at me. Like, I see you, but uh-uh. So, but we have that. We all have that inner mean girl. And sometimes, sometimes that voice wants to spur us on or wants the best for us, but sometimes it also is really sneaky at masking itself that it is wanting to look out for us, you know, even— and she's also that voice of self-sabotage a bit when it's like, oh, I'm not going to go to the gym because, oh, it's really cold outside and I just want to get cozy and yeah, just watch a movie and whatever. And so, so it kind of tries to mask itself that it's looking out for you, but actually It's that you are wanting to do something good for yourself, and I'm just gonna— not gonna let you. Exactly. I'm gonna throw a curveball. And that's when that inner cheerleader— and really, the journey of self-love is about strengthening that inner cheerleader, and it takes time, but each time we're able to connect to, to, to that, because our gut always knows, right? Our intuition really does always know. And actually when that other voice is saying the other thing, our gut does, that alarm bell does kind of ring. And so it's whether we listen to that alarm bell or not. If we don't and we end up sort of giving into that inner mean girl, let's say, it's just about, again, not adding the guilt and the shame and just like, it's okay. It's an opportunity to understand that I actually do know that that inner cheerleader inside of me really was rooting for me and what was going on here. Like, why was that voice trying to not want me to do the thing that I know is going to make me feel good, you know? So, but, but a big part of strengthening that inner cheerleader is coming back to, to that recognition, coming back to really rooting for ourselves for even the smallest, tiniest thing, and reminding ourselves of the time that we did that thing and putting ourselves back in that place of how good it felt. So, you know, I have a lot of clients, for instance, who are, who also struggle with coming back to exercise from that loving place. When I don't want to do a gym class, or I don't want to, I hate looking at myself in the mirror. I just can't get myself there. I know it's going to make me feel good, but I just can't get myself there. Why? You know, and it's, it's, it's a common theme. So a really useful tool is just giving space for that inner cheerleader to come out and reminding yourself of how good that feels and the reasons you're doing it. You're doing it for you. You're doing it for, you know, mind, body, and soul nourishment, or all those reasons that you want to do the thing, not necessarily about exercise or whatever. And building up your inner cheerleader in that way, that you've done it before and you can do it again, because that inner mean girl likes to sort of give us proof of why we can't do the thing or why we don't want to. Or so strengthening that inner cheerleader and reminding ourselves that we can and that we have, and that even the smallest tiny step helps do that for ourselves. So, you know, I even say that on those days where we wake up in a bit of a funk and life feels a bit difficult, like, even just to make your bed is a triumph. So strengthen that inner cheerleader by saying, wow, I made my bed today and that feels really good, you know. And so constantly coming back to that rooting for ourselves and What happens is, is she's always going to be— you're always going to be there. So it's not about trying to get rid of that inner mean girl, but you listen to what she's trying to say and then give it space and time to understand, well, is this from a loving place, or am I procrastinating, or am I in the avoidance, or, you know, how is it going to feel if I don't do the thing, or how is it going to feel if I do do the thing, you know?

Yeah, I think that question is really important of, is this coming from a loving place? Because I know there's a lot of women that, you know, whether they've struggled with eating disorder or, or binging or not, I think all of us have some difficulty with our body image and with maintaining our health and what that means, especially with what we're shown that to look like in the media and on social media and all that kind of stuff. So all of us, I think, have an inner dialogue around food and exercise, whether we've experienced true disordered eating or not. And there's a lot of people I know that struggle with, you know, okay, how do I know when I should do the thing that I'm telling myself I should do because that would be good for me, or when the thing that I'm telling myself I should do is really a naughty should because I'm shoulding on myself thinking that I need to do this thing when really I could just stay home and relax and self-care and nourish myself, right? It's like this weird fine line of like, I hear myself being like, you should really go to the gym. Let's just, random example, you should really go to the gym. And you're like, okay, do I wanna go? Do I, am I thinking that I should go to the gym because going to the gym will make me feel good and that's a positive thing, so I should take that and do that. Or am I telling myself that I should go to the gym because I'm feeling insecure or unhappy about my body and I think that's going to fix it? And so I'm pushing myself to do that thing, and that's actually not what needs to happen right now because I'm exhausted and overwhelmed and burnt out, and I actually probably need rest and to not go to the gym, right? It's like, fuck, like, which is which?

Ah, it's such a minefield, isn't it? And then And then, you know, it's like, do I listen to this? Listen to this. What would it— I mean, I just— there was so many times in the past I actually, I remember that feeling of like even walking to the gym and then turning around and then like even walking, you know, or even like whether it's other things as well. But just sometimes it is a minefield and it's hard to navigate. But exactly that, you know, coming back to that, to that question, like, is it from a loving place or how is it going to make me feel? After? And you know, if, if you've had an exhaustive week or work's been stressful and really all you want to do is sit and curl and read a book and that's going to nourish your soul, then so be it. But again, how's that going to make you feel after? Or really asking yourself and being honest with, with yourself as well. So if I say no to the thing, it is what I'm going to do instead. Yeah, from, for, from a place of self-love. And is it going to nourish my soul? Is it going to make me feel good? And I think it always comes back to that.

Yeah, I love that. Okay, so you mentioned like nourishing your soul a lot, and I know that soul nourishment is something that you teach a lot on. So let's, let's go into that and talk about that. Obviously there's, you know, nourishment through food and how we actually feed ourselves, but off of the plate, like how do we start to nourish our souls?

Great question. And one of— exactly like what you said— one of the topics I'm like most passionate about, because it also was a big part of— I teach it a lot, but it's a big part of my own journey as well, and my clients' journeys. Obviously we have food and nutrition and nourishment on our plate, but that is just a sec— if you think about a secondary form of nutrition. So one of the main forms of nourishment, nutrition in our life is soul nourishment. So what does that mean? If we think about our life as this plate, as this whole— think about, think about your life as this, let's say, a pie, and you have different slices of this pie, and each of these slices contribute to our life and the balance in our life. So relationships, career, if we have a spiritual practice, hobbies, our finances, home cooking, you know, what's our home life like, family, family, friends. Exactly. All those different things really contribute. So when one or more of those is out of balance, they all, they all feed each other and they all correlate to each other. So if you're going to the office every single day and you actually, firstly, you wake up dreading going to the office, so you don't really have a morning practice. You drag yourself out of bed. You don't have any time for yourself in the morning. You drag yourself there. You're sitting at your desk every single day. You're feeling uninspired. You're feeling unhappy. Maybe you mindlessly are eating biscuits in the office because you're so disconnected to yourself. You're kind of trying to numb the day. Then you drag yourself back home. Maybe you pour yourself another glass of wine or maybe open the fridge even more. You don't— you feel tired. You don't feel connected to yourself. So you probably don't go to the gym or maybe you don't want to see anyone, you know, it correlates to all these other aspects of your life. So if you miss— and that's what happened. And it's a big part of eating disorders that we don't realize because we're so focused on the food. It's not about the food. You— if I'm bingeing or if I'm restricting, I'm starving my soul of some other form of nourishment. If I'm bingeing, it's because my soul is actually craving something else and I'm going straight to the food. Maybe I just, you know, and it happened a lot in lockdown. Where our whole routine had changed. We were stuck indoors and lots of women were suffering with binging even more because we didn't have actually access to lots of other different forms of soul nourishment. You know, the way we worked out changed, the way we interacted with people changed. We couldn't go outdoors. So, you know, in another way, if our relationships aren't feeding us, you know, we have, we have those people that fill us up. But we also have energy vampires, and often we're not even aware of it. And I had a lot of energy vampires in my life, and they would just suck my energy dry. And so what would I do? I'd go straight to the food because I just like— I just need, you know, I just needed something. So if, if a big part of our soul nourishment is those people around us, so it's, you know, it's really a a good question to ask ourselves. Who are the people that are around me? Do they fill me up? Do they light me up? Or do they drain me? Or am I giving my energy out to all of these people and then I'm feeling depleted in my own life, you know? Um, or, or home life, you know, a lot of my clients are understanding that actually they come home at the end of the day and they're living with roommates and they're not happy living with roommates because again, that takes their energy. Or, you know, they can't cook for themselves or they're ordering takeaways all the time and that's disconnecting them, or they don't have hobbies, you know. So it— so soul nourishment is all these different aspects of our plate. And when a few, one or a few of these are out of balance, then it throws lots of different things out of balance. But we're so often so focused on one, you know, like just, I need to just get my food right, or I need to get my body right, or when I find the perfect man, or when I find the perfect relationship, or when I find the perfect job, everything's going to be okay. But no, you know, it's never about finding the perfect thing. It's about when all of these different aspects all correlate and come together and they work in harmony with each other. So even, you know, even if you don't— nothing perfect exists, but it's okay if you go to the office and you're not stimulated 24/7. But okay, how can you reclaim part of your day back? How can you reclaim back some soul nourishment? Can you wake up early and make yourself a fabulous breakfast? Or maybe you want to walk to work and listen to a great podcast, you know, so then you're getting your heart rate up, you're moving your body, and you're getting some stimulation. Or maybe when you come back from work, you set up your sacred space, you light some sage and some candles, and you read a book, or you hang out with someone that, that you laugh so much with, or you have the best time with, or you, you're with a good girlfriend, you know. So It's an exercise that I love to do in workshops with women, and also one of the very first things that I do with clients to really help them understand their life as a whole. And so really looking at all these areas and seeing, you know, where could use a bit more tender loving care, because often we, we, you know, we don't even realize, you know, finances, if our finances are out of balance, It can eat, chip away at us, chip away at us, chip away. These different things can chip away at our soul and we don't even realize. And then what happens is it affects those other areas. So maybe, you know, we are emotionally eating. One of my clients has a boss that's the devil wears Prada, and it makes her absolutely miserable. And, you know, without even realizing it, she was emotionally eating at the office because she didn't know how to put her boundaries up and to cook herself. And that was, that was a coping mechanism. And it's okay. We all have coping mechanisms. It's about understanding them and understanding why we needed them. Give those coping mechanisms compassion, whatever they are, but understand that we can find other ways of being able to deal with those things. And how can we add in more things on her plate? She, and you know, this client, she's amazing, but she was ordering takeaways all the time and she didn't walk to work. And then She started making her own dinners when she came home, and she got off the bus one stop early so that she could give herself her time. And she'd wake up a bit early so she could sit and have a breakfast under her window that she loved and have a bit of coffee. And all these things just really added to her soul nourishment, so that even if, you know, she didn't love every aspect of her job and being in the office, but she'd reclaimed her, her time. And, you know, it makes me sad that as I see and I hear the same story over and over again, that there is this culture that we, you know, give so much time and energy to the other and to other people and not enough to ourselves. And then we end up neglecting our own soul needs. So it's an invitation to really look at what, what does my soul need? And, you know, during lockdown, which was huge for so many of us, it's like, well, actually, I all of our souls, we just, we were craving human connection, weren't we? We were, we were craving, uh, human touch again. We were craving being able to go outside. And but, you know, so many of these old triggers and old coping mechanisms came up because we were kind of robbed of those things. So it was, it's actually this whole new world is an invitation of this new paradigm of how we can bring those things in in a different way.

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Yeah, well, I think I want to draw a parallel between what you said about this client and what you said earlier about yourself. Yeah, of both of you kind of struggling to stand up for yourself or speak your truth or share your feelings or let other people in as to what you needed or what was going on. And just kind of look at that for a second and how that plays into this, this whole thing, right? Of like using food or exercise as the vehicle to regain some sort of control over your life when you feel like there's so many things out of your control because you've let them, you've let them slip through your fingers, right? So what is that like? Do you, is this a common theme that you see with a lot of the women that you work with, that they are boundaryless? They struggle to share their voice, stand up for themselves, be vulnerable, share what's happening, speak about whatever is going on in their life, like, and how— what is the journey to start to actually do that? Because that feels really integral to the healing.

That's a great, great question, and so glad that you brought it up because it's such a common theme and something that we— again, when I'm talking about the soul nourishment, so many women come to me and they're so focused on the food or they're so focused on, you know, wanting to lose weight, or they're so focused on, you know, they do want to connect to their body. But these all correlate. And this was a big part of, of the beginning of my journey and really understanding that. And it's, it's a common— it's totally a common theme. And it's a common theme also with the energy that we attract. So when we're in this place where we can't give ourselves enough love or we can't stick up for ourselves, we don't have boundaries. So we, we also attract those people that aren't— that are exacerbating that, that take. So it's just, it's totally this cycle. And then we get lost.

Overgiver— the overgiver attracts the overtaker.

Absolutely. And we get so lost in this whirlwind. And then exactly, you know, we do feel very out of control. And so again, like what you mentioned, exactly that, you know, being able to control our food or being able to control our exercise or being able to control something in our life kind of brings it back. And one of the hardest things to actually help women understand when they are in recovery, and not just with eating disorders, but when we surrender and we can just let go, that is actually when we really do reclaim control over our lives. But it's really hard. It's really scary to think about doing. What? No, no, no. What? You just— you want me to help me Really connect to what my body needs and just freely eat, or what? I just exercise when I'm feeling like it, or I can just do a plan when, when, when my body's telling me to. And so actually, it's the most incredible journey we can go on because you really come back home to you and your body. But coming back to this theme, exactly that. What the biggest part of the healing journey is when we can connect back to our voice. And to our needs and being able to even say no. Like, how hard is it to anyone listening today sometimes to bloody say no, you know? But it's a practice. It's really a practice because the overgiver doesn't say no. The overgiver wants to please. The overgiver doesn't know how to give herself love, so she just wants to give it out to everyone else. She doesn't want to disappoint. So then she ends up booking plans and then she gets herself in tears. And then what happens happens is goes, goes back to old triggers because she feels bad about herself, and it's this whole cycle. So a big part of that is, is really being able to practice saying no, and in a way that feels good for you, you know. And, well, actually, this doesn't feel very good for me right now. And then in— so then automatically you've just shown that voice of self-trust, that inner cheerleader, that you do know what you need and you're sticking up for your needs and you're strengthening that each time. You're able to say no. And then what happens is you're, you're regaining that control of what is right for you. So it's really one of the most common patterns is, is, is boundaries and the people in our lives as well, and that energy that we attract. Because the people pleaser is, you know, we love the people pleaser and we give compassion to the people pleaser, but the people pleaser gets herself into a lot of trouble. So it's really about understanding that being, you know, and being selfish— and being selfish doesn't necessarily have to be negative— but start to really understand what do you need, what makes you feel good, and that's okay and it's valid and it's important. Because there's that theme of being scared to say, well, I know this doesn't feel good for me, but like, but I don't, I don't want to go for dinner with this friend, but how do I not go for dinner with this friend? Because then she's going to be in a mood with me and You know, understanding also that it's okay and helping the people pleaser understand that it's okay that not everyone is going to like you, you know, your truth or what's important to you. And often when we have been a people pleaser and we are the yes woman that says yes to all these things, when we start to put our needs first, some aren't going to like it, but that's okay. And actually that starts to sift out the energy vampires from the people in your life that actually feed yourself and feed your energy.

Totally. Yeah, yeah. And I think when we think about what the people pleaser needs, what they actually need, what they're seeking, which is why they're people pleasing, is they need love, they need validation, they need appreciation. And they're thinking that the solution or the way to give themself that thing is to source it from other people. Exactly, right? So to show up in a way where, oh, okay, if I do this, then I will get love, right? So the people pleaser is lacking love and validation, and they're putting that responsibility on the people in their life to provide that for them. And so they're showing up in a way that they think will warrant that reaction, when what they actually need is love and validation from within.

Mm-hmm.

They had need to cultivate that from within themselves. And this is like the paradox of surrender, like you mentioned, or letting go, where we think that surrender or letting go means getting farther away from the goal, getting farther away from the thing that we want, right? But it's actually— it actually means getting closer, right? We think control, holding on, right? Pleasing all these people or controlling our exercise or our calories or our food, that means I get closer to receiving love, to receiving validation, to having the body that I want. And when I get that, when I get there, then I will feel good, right? So control, control, control. That's what I feel like I need in order to provide myself with these inner needs. But the way that you actually get all that shit that you're trying to get is by letting go of the control, by surrendering. Because like you said, you filter out the people that are not actually for you, that are actually just pulling from you, that are negative influences in your life, and you let go of the obsession with food and exercise and diets and calories and weight and all those things that you think are going to get you closer to the body. But your true happiness lies not in the number on the scale or how you're eating, but how you feel about yourself. And when you let go of that stuff, you actually do feel better about yourself. So it's this weird paradox where we're convinced— we're convinced that we need to like cling on harder, more. If I could just have better willpower, do more, try harder, be better, then I would get there. When the real answer is, you know, how about you just lovingly let go?

Exactly, exactly, exactly.

Take your, take your white knuckles off of the handle and just like relax for a second.

Yeah, exactly, exactly. Ah, ah, woman! So much juiciness, goodness there. Even my dog's getting excited. Um, but it's exactly that. And you know, you will— that willpower— so many women are stuck in that willpower, that, and they beat themselves up of, oh, I'm weak, and why did I give in, and I don't have enough willpower. But actually, it's, ah, when we just breathe and when we can just let go and when we surrender, wow, that is where the magic occurs. And really reiterating what you said and what I say to women all the time, that self-love really is this inside job. And when, you know, you start to glow from the inside, it shows on the outside. And our body hears everything we say, and she also has this innate, incredible wisdom, and she knows what she wants and she knows what she needs. And when we surrender we also create space to come back to this beautiful connection and dialogue that we have with our body that is there. She's, she's unbelievable. She's amazing. But, you know, we have disconnected and we have numbed through many, you know, through binging and restriction or whatever it is. So when we can surrender and we can let go and we create space we can come back home to ourselves and to what our soul really needs and what is craving. And that is really when that magic starts to happen. And, you know, if it is about losing weight or being able to have balanced meals, it starts to come in that way because also we're not putting so much emphasis and energy and control. So we're filling up that plate soul nourishment with other things that are really making us happy. So it's just like, look at children. Children go out to play and, and they, they're— they have that soul nourishment to a tee. And what do they do? They run inside when they're hungry because they, they've kind of regulated that, you know what I mean? So if you look at children, they're that prime example. Whereas I think also, you know, with society and social media and everything, like, we're looking at food all the time on Instagram, or, you know, we're looking at meals and this and that. And actually, we've kind of or we're dieting and we're so fixated on times that we're supposed to eat and whatever. We've kind of lost that. If you look at children, they just have it so right. You know, they're like, they're playing outside with their friends or they're having fun or whatever. And then their body knows and they come back to self-regulation like, okay, this is what I need right now. So when we start to fill up that plate of soul nourishment and our mind isn't so focused on like having to count the calories or having to have willpower or having to have control or I need to do this, then I need to do this, then I need this. When we can actually just really, like what you said, surrender. And even when you do that, like, you know, just that feeling that you can just, oh, just be, when so many of us don't let ourselves just be, then that really is where the freedom starts to occur. But it is, it is confusing. It's confusing at first. It definitely can be a minefield, um, but Yeah, when it happens, it's my— it's just, it's magic. It's, it's magic. It's magic.

So let's talk about, let's talk about the word goddess. Yes, because I know this is a word that is really ingrained in kind of the work that you do and your message. And I know you've got your necklace that says goddess, and I love this. So what is— yeah, what is like the word goddess mean to you? And what is this idea of like unleashing your inner goddess?

Ah, I love it so much. I love it so much. So like my biggest, another one of my biggest passions is really helping women to understand that they are worthy, they are beautiful, they are loved, and they are a mofo goddess. The word goddess to me is, it's us, it's the essence of who we are. Okay. You know that when I talk about soul nourishment, when you do those things that make you feel good, or you're with those people that you can just be, or those moments that, that real you comes out, whether it's through dancing or just those, those moments that you are just that pure version of you. That is the goddess. That is you without judgment, without worrying about what other people think, or without having to wear— you know, we wear so many different masks in our everyday life, in the office, or as the girlfriend, or, or, you know, as this or as that, but take off all those masks. Like, who is the real you inside? What makes you feel good? What do you love? What songs do you love listening to? You know, like, what are those moments when you're stressing your stuff and you're like, I'm a badass bitch? Like, that is the goddess. Like, you, the real you, that gets to show up fully in her life and gets to be you. You know, I think I definitely experienced this so much in my past of, of, well, be you but don't really be you, you know, like don't laugh too loud, or don't dress that way, or don't act like that because you're never going to get a husband, or, you know, don't be the center of attention, or don't be loud, or you need to be polite, or all those, you know. And in life we're just fed so many messages of how we're supposed to be, but the goddess is you. Get rid of all of that other stuff. And just come back to, to that real essence of you. And when I talk about just feeling happiness for happiness' sake, you know, it really is that. Those moments when you can just be. And so for me, when I have— when I take women's workshops, that's so important for me that women can come and there's the safe space where we're not, you know, nobody again is judging your past or judging you or is looking at your body or no. We're here as women being able to show up fully as ourselves, as our emotional selves, as our raw selves, you know, in our pain, in our healing, in our truth. Whatever we are bringing, that is the goddess. And it makes me sad that we don't show our full selves in everyday life. And I really want to encourage women to do that and to be able to do that. And so when I talk about unleashing your inner goddess It's that, and it's going on that journey of, of, of who are you, you know? What lights you up? What sparks your soul on fire? What do you want to bring to this world? Because whatever it is, you can. You can, and you deserve to. You deserve to, you know. We're on this planet once. Like, make love to your life. Like, make love to yourself. Do the things that make you feel like your flirtiest yourself, your best self. We are the goddess. And it's funny because so I, I make, um, goddess jewelry and I sell goddess jewelry, and every time someone buys it and they put it on and they say to me like, oh my God, like, this necklace is magic. And I'm like, no, no, no, sister girlfriend, like, you are magic. You have just infused the essence of you in this necklace. And it's just that reminder when you look in the mirror and it's like I got you, you know, like telling yourself you've got yourself and everything's going to be okay and that today is going to be a magical new day. And even in those funky moments and even in those low energy moments, like, I got you, you know. And it's that, again, it's that inner cheerleader and reminding yourself that, that you've got yourself. But we're all goddesses, and I think there's also this kind of misconception with the word because there was actually one, um, beautiful goddess that came to one of my workshops, and she said, well, I don't know if I'm quite ready to wear this necklace yet, like if I'm worthy enough of wearing this title. And I was like, sister, you are worthy, you are a goddess. It's not about getting to a certain place, uh-uh. It's about you being you right now and showing up as you right now, as all of you. And you know, we are messy, and we are emotional and we are sensitive and we are wild. It's about embracing all of those sides. And actually, the wild woman is such a big part of me, but I think she was a part of me that was shut down. You know, in Britain, in England, it was always like the stiff upper lip, and you ask somebody how you are and you say you're fine even though you're not fine, and, and you have to be very polite. And, and so the wild woman, I think she was trapped in me for a really long time. And now she's just a big part of who I am, you know, and, and going on this journey of, of self-discovery and of self-love and, and kind of like reclaiming life back. I love when she comes out.

And you're so, you're so much cooler with your wild woman present, you know, like you're, you're, you're a more powerful individual and I'm sure you have a more powerful life experience. And things are juicier and more fun and more decadent and more pure when you allow your wild woman, this like true essence that you have inside of you, to just like rip out and roar.

So it's the best. Oh, it's the best. And whoever's listening, just let your wild woman out. Like, put some music on, have a self-love dance party with yourself, and just see what comes out, you know. Just move your body just for movement's sake, and just like Like, like, we, um, I run ecstatic dance workshops and we just tell women, just roar, like make animal sounds, like just go wild. And it's unbelievable. It's just women come out being like, that was the best night of my life, because it's this freedom, you know. It's, it's freedom to be yourself. And there were so many years I was trapped inside myself. There were so many years I felt I was in imprisoned inside myself. I knew this goddess was inside of me, but she didn't know how to come out. So when I talk about unleashing that inner goddess, and I'm soon to be launching a 12-week online coaching program to really help women to unleash their inner goddess, you know, really actionable tools every day, how we can put boundaries up so that we can stay in our power, and how we can, you know, use practices to really connect to our body So we can, you know, also be sensual as women. I think that's also a taboo as well, of not letting ourselves be sensual.

Be sensual. I wish you guys could see the visuals of this podcast. I know you're listening right now, but Georgia and I are like rolling around. Literally like, oh my God. We're like body rolling here, like be sensual.

Wherever you are when you listen to this, I invite you to just be sensual, to just like do a little body roll, just shake your hips, do a little body roll. Yeah, shake your boobies. And I think it's kind of— I also say a lot that it's kind of about unfucking yourself. Like, forget all the other shit that we were taught, like just coming back home to us. Like, come back to that true essence of us now, you know? Like, be you, be a wild woman, be sensual. Be sensitive. I think there was also— there's about, you know, sensitivity, it's a weakness. Uh-uh, it's a superpower. You know, we're powerful. So it, you know, big part of, of the goddess is really understanding our power and understanding those parts of us that actually maybe we shied away from and we tried to avoid, but inviting them in as our superpower, you know. And even inviting a mean girl to come out and play, and about that inner cheerleader, and welcoming all of us because we are multifaceted beings. And, you know, the goddess isn't— she's not— she's imperfectly perfect, you know. We're human, and it's the human experience, and it's about understanding that too. But in all our humanness, we're incredible. So, so the goddess is that inner cheerleader that's rooting for us. It's telling, I've got you, She's the wild woman. She's sensual. She's cool. She struts down the street and she's like, I'm feeling myself, I'm feeling myself, you know. And, and that's one of my biggest self-love practices, is some days when I wake up maybe not feeling so good, or maybe I didn't listen to my body and I'm feeling a bit heavy, or maybe I'm, you know, like, can't really be bothered with life, or whatever it is, you know. We all have those days. Maybe it's the time of the month, like, whatever it is. My boyfriend leaves, and then I put on music and I just dance around naked. And actually, this, this was a big part of reclaiming me. And, uh, because there were years when I couldn't— I didn't actually even get changed. I think there was times I couldn't actually even get out of my clothes to shower because I couldn't look in the mirror. So each time I'm able to do that now, it's like reclaiming me back. And so a big part of my online course is also helping women to, to reclaim themselves, you know, reclaim that goddess. And so whatever, and helping them to find their own self-love practices. So for me, it's a dance party. For someone else, it might be something else, you know. But, but there's nothing for me. Yeah, there's just— oh, sound, that feeling, isn't it? You find that song and boom, the energy changes. Like, you've literally, you've literally like mastered your day.

Yeah, nothing changes your energy faster than music. I always say that. I think music is the most powerful and the most rapid way to really shift your energy. So I love that. And I know you're all about the dance parties too. I actually, before we started recording this, I was thinking, because I was listening to my music because I was doing a workout, and I was like, oh, it would be so fun to like have a dance party in person with Georgia because I know totally your vibe. So we're going to do that someday for sure. Yes, we are. We are. But this has been so amazing. Thank you so much for sharing your energy and your wisdom and your heart with all of us today. Um, let everybody know where they can follow you and get into your world and your energy some more.

Yes, thank you so much. So I have, ladies, um, an online community called the Self-Love The Self-Love Club, again, it came from my desire for a community and a place for us to feel celebrated and to be seen and to be supported. Because as women, you know, our journeys are all different, but they're so similar, and we all experience the same emotions, and we've all gone through the same heartaches and the same pains. And so let's unite, you know. There's nothing stronger than sisterhood. So on Facebook, it's called The Self-Love Club, and it's a growing community. So I'd love you to join, and for everyday daily doses of self-love inspiration and actionable tools and journaling prompts. And actually, you can come and dance with me. It won't be in person, but it will be together virtually. And I have a great soundtrack for you. Um, and also on Instagram, Georgia Barnett. And so you can also— I'm putting up a lot of information right now about my 12-week online group coaching program. And if, if this touched your soul or sparked that inner goddess inside of you, and you're really feeling that desire to come back home to yourself, to find out how you can unleash your inner goddess, to fill up that plate of soul nourishment— sis, I got you. I'm here for you.

I'm gonna link all of the stuff in the show notes for you guys so that you can connect with Georgia. But thank you so much, Georgia, for coming on the show. It's been so beautiful.

Thank you so much for having