Dating Around the World, Getting Ghosted In Real Life & Being a Nomadic CEO w/ Chelsea Riffe

What's up guys, welcome back to the podcast. We've got a bit of a different episode for you this week, but I'm so excited for you to tune in. I think you're really gonna like it. It's more of like a casual girls chat. We're gonna talk about dating, traveling, nomadic lifestyle, business organization, just like life things. So I actually got together in person with one of my friends in the space, Chelsea Rife, and we sat down and we recorded podcasts for both my show and her show in person in a studio here in Fort Fort Lauderdale, and it was really, really fun. So I'm excited for you to tune into this week's episode. Before we dive in, I have a couple of announcements for you coming up soon. The enrollment for Abundant and Ambitious is going to open again in just a couple of weeks. So this is my 4-month business mastermind for early coaches and aspiring coaches, people who want to get into the online space or start to really amplify the growth in their online businesses. So if you are an earlier aspiring coach, this might be a really great space for you to grow and thrive. And the doors are going to be opening again in just a couple of weeks, so make sure that your name is on the waitlist if you want to be the first to hear about it and make sure that you get to save $1,000 if you do decide that you want to join us. Later this week, I'm going to be sending out an email. So if you're listening to this in real time, I'm going to be sending out an email later this week to people who are only on the waitlist, giving away some exclusive behind-the-scenes details about this launch. You're going to know exactly what the masterclass that we're using to launch this program off the back of. You're going to know about our exact dates of the early bird periods, when prices will be jumping, and what that will look like. And so if you want all of that kind of insider information, just make sure that your name is on the waitlist. The other thing is that the retreat is filling up, and we've only got a handful of spots left. And over 20 of you who have applied for BIPOC scholarships— so we will be sending out those invitations for those of you who have applied for the scholarships and have been granted a spot. So keep an eye on your inbox if you've applied for the BIPOC scholarships. If you have not applied yet, get your name in there. It's your last chance to secure a spot on the retreat for a generously discounted rate. And if you are not part of the BIPOC community but you still want to come on the retreat, we have some spots. So look into it, check it out. There's payment plans available for the next couple of weeks only. So if you know you want to break up that investment, make sure that you kind of figure out if you want come within the next couple of weeks because those payment plans are going to expire. And yeah, I hope to see some of you guys there in person, get to know you, hang out, have the best week of our lives diving deep into all of the healing and really upgrading your capacity for holding wealth, success, and freedom in your life and having a truly transformational experience like none other. I am so excited. This is the last of this retreat. We are not doing this again. It is not happening next year. There is not a next time for the Dream Life Immersion Retreat. So this is it, you guys. These are our last couple of spots and this is the last of this retreat. So we'll leave a link in the show notes for you with all the information about the retreat, and we will also leave a link there for you to add your name to the AMA waitlist. So as I mentioned, today's guest is Chelsea Ryf. She is an industry-renowned podcast coach and she has been on the show before. If you've listened to that episode, it was another really good one. She loves helping creatives, coaches, and entrepreneurs launch, grow and monetize their podcasts. She blends her 10+ years of digital media, content marketing, and storytelling expertise to find the golden ticket strategy for her clients. She's also a full-time digital nomad and hosts the top-rated podcast In My Nonexpert Opinion, covering the roller coaster of entrepreneurship, the fun and chaos of travel, internet culture, and the mindset BS that we all go through. She's an Aquarius Sun, Virgo Moon, Virgo Rising, and a Reflector in Human Design, meaning that her genius lies within finding innovative and out-of-this-world ideas and bringing them into reality through practical action and detailed planning. So like I mentioned, this episode is a little bit more casual, off the cuff. It's going to be— there's a little bit of business stuff in here, but there's also just a lot of life and girl talk in this conversation. So we're going to chat about things like being in your dating era, where the world's hottest men are, the pros and cons of living a nomadic lifestyle, some of Chelsea's top tips for running a business while traveling, the reality of affording the lifestyle that you want to live, and the key to switching up your identity narrative, getting ghosted in real life, the experiences from Chelsea's dating era around the world, and some advice for nomadic women who are looking for love. So I hope you guys enjoy this episode. It's a very fun one. We're talking about all the good, the bad, and the ugly, and some tea is spilled. So let's dive in. Welcome to the Makeshift Happen podcast. I'm your host, Samantha Daly, entrepreneur, life coach, and your no BS bestie, here to bring you all things mindset, manifestation, and personal development. This podcast is designed to help you expand your mind and uplevel your life. So turn the volume up and roll the windows down if you're coming along for the ride. Let's go make shit happen. All right, welcome back to the show, Chelsea. I'm so excited.

I'm so excited. We're in person.

We're in person. Love it. We are. We're coming to you live from Fort Lauderdale. Chelsea and I are together. We spent the whole day together. We just had a delicious lunch. It was amazing. And now we're in a cute little studio and we're recording. I feel, I feel professional as fuck.

Me too. I'm like, I'm like afraid to touch any buttons because it's so professional in here.

I know. I almost feel like I'm kind of stiff, like I'm not sitting like super casually because I'm like, wait, I'm not, I'm gonna mess something up. So we are, um, we're upgrading, we're upleveling.

This is what an uplevel looks like.

It is, it is. It looks like you being nervous and stiff as a board and not moving.

Yeah.

Okay, so you have been traveling and living and working nomadically for an entire year, right? For the past year. Yeah. This is your first time back to the US.

Yeah, I literally got back last night.

I know, I'm like, I don't know how you did this. Like, all— and you're getting on another flight as soon as we finish recording this. So yeah, the, the nomad life is real. I want to know, like, get— encapsulate for us, because I thought what— the last time you were on the show, we talked And I didn't know that you were gonna be gone for so long. Was it always your intention to be gone that long? I thought it was like 4 months or something.

No, it was 4 months. I actually signed up for this 4-month trip with a company called Remote Year, and I don't think I really had a plan after that. I think I was like, let me see how I like it if I wanna live in Europe or if I wanna come back home. But it was definitely not to be outside of the United States and traveling at the pace that I did for a year. That was not on the docket.

Okay. I didn't think so, but I needed to ask you about that. So when you got to the end of your 4 months, what— where did you spend those first 4 months?

I was in Cape Town, South Africa, then we went to Valencia, Spain, Lisbon, Portugal, and Split, Croatia. And at the very end, I was so tired and burnt out from traveling with a group that I was like, I need to go isolate myself and be a hermit and like go off the grid mode. So I went to Hvar, which is an island in Croatia, by myself for like 2 weeks. Literally like did not speak to anybody. I remember that it was off season and no one was there. I was like, thank God. I literally was like the only soul on the island and I needed to recoup. So then I spent like 3 more weeks in Croatia and then went on a whole other basically like 9-month journey.

And do you think like, is your plan to keep doing this for a long period of time or what's next?

So when I ended that trip, I was so burnt out that I was like, I need a hub, I need to settle down, I'm getting an apartment, that's that. And I decided on Lisbon, Portugal. I loved it. I had such a great experience there. There's a lot of expats that live there. It was really easy to adjust. It's pretty affordable. And then right when I was trying to apply for the visa, I literally opened a bank account. I got a tax ID number. I hired a lawyer to start helping me with the process. Right when I was doing that, a new visa came out called the Digital Nomad Visa, and I was like, well, that makes way more sense for me. Let me just do that one. But anyone that's lived in Europe, and you know this better than anyone, Sam, is that the immigration offices are really slow with everything. So as I started applying for this, my lawyer was like, I don't even think this visa is like real yet. Like, I think a press announcement came out, but I don't think there's an infrastructure actually built for this visa process yet. And I was like, wait, what are you talking about? Like, it's all over the news. It was in Forbes, like CNN, like everywhere. And I'm like, this is big news. And they're like, I just don't think that was like meant to be that early of an announcement. So people that were applying were in all these Facebook groups saying like, guys, I just went to the office and they like don't even know what I'm talking about. So I'm like, well, what is— so what is this visa. And I think it was just like an idea that was formulating and close to being done, but it hadn't actually been rolled out yet. So then my friend was like, I think you should wait though, because that visa is going to be way easier to get because you don't need a physical home address, which a lot of visas you do, right? And it— at this point, it was a boom. Like, everyone wanted to get to Lisbon, Portugal after that news. So there were like— there was a huge housing— I don't want to say crisis, but like boom of people were just scrambling to find apartments. And it just became really chaotic. And I was like, I don't feel like using up all my Schengen days because you can only stay in the EU for 90 days, trying to find an apartment if this visa is not even like fully developed yet. So let me go bide my time somewhere else. So I went back to Cape Town, South Africa because I loved it there. And when I went, it was winter, so I never got to experience summer there. So I was like, let me go buy my time in South Africa, and then once this visa is actually like real, I'll go back and figure it all out. Turns out I love South Africa way more than I thought, and I ended up staying way longer and having so much fun and developing an amazing community there., and I kind of was like, I don't wanna live in Portugal anymore. So I've actually been trying to shut down my bank in Portugal for 3 months and it is still not closed. And the guy basically just told me it would be easier to fly to Lisbon and shut it down. So I'm not living in Lisbon anymore, but I still have a bank account there. And I think when you asked what the plan was, I think I realized I still wanna keep traveling, just not at the pace of a new place every month and not with a group all the time. I'm someone, especially as a business owner, I need my alone time. I need to recharge by myself. I need to just space to ideate and think. So I think right now the way I'm trying to set up my life is like 3 to 6 months in a place and then move to a new place. And I feel like I'm going to keep doing that until I feel, A, tired, like truly like I'm done. B, if something happens where I have a little baby or meet the love of my life or something, then I'll be like, okay, maybe.

Or see if I have an unplanned pregnancy.

My mom literally thinks I'm gonna have an unplanned pregnancy, by the way. She's like, I just feel like that's coming for you. I was like, are you saying I was like just a total slut or what's happening? But yeah, I was like, I wouldn't be surprised if I have like an oopsie baby from like, I don't know, France or something. So we'll see. And, um, yeah, if that happens, I would obviously choose to not travel so much. And I think the other thing is if, you know, something happened at home where my parents got sick or something happened where I would have to be at home. So the way I see it is not like like, oh my God, I'm so tired and I, I have to stop traveling soon. I actually see it the opposite way of like, I don't have that much time left. Like, I'm not gonna have this much independence again or freedom again or financials again. So I'm kind of in this space of like, you need to go see as much of the world as you possibly can before time starts really creeping up on you and something happens back home or you lose this or something. I'm kind of like, I have the opportunity now, so I'm gonna use it.

Yeah. Yeah. So where, where's your next destination?

In 2 weeks I'm going to New York City, and then I'll go to London for 3 weeks, and then I'll go to Montenegro, Greece, Austria, and then TBD after Austria.

TBD after Austria. But you're gonna hang out in Europe for a little while?

Yeah, I'll be in Europe for like 3 months.

Nice.

Yes.

Nice. Okay, so it's so interesting to me to like pick your brain about working like really nomadically, just abroad all the time, because I started my business technically abroad, but I was living, I had a base, like I was in Spain, I had an apartment, like my whole life was there. My partner and his family were there. And when I think about, you know, having to get on a plane all the time or finding a place to live and all of the inconveniences of arriving in a new place and having to figure out how does this subway system work? Like, how do I get around? I need to get a public transportation card. I need to figure out how to use my money here and get access to a bank or an ATM or where to live and how do I pay the rent and just all of the annoyances of moving all the time. How did you do all of that and run a business? Because I think about if someone were to add that to my plate consistently every couple of months, I would I would explode. Like, oh my God. So how do you manage all of the— because, and then also you're in a new place and you're like, okay, I'm here, I'm just gonna sit in my room and work. I need to go out, I want to meet people, I want to try the restaurants and the food and see the sights and do the tourism. How did you manage running a business and all of the other time-consuming stuff that comes with traveling?

Oh my God, yeah, it was a lot of trial and error. Like, it— I never nailed it on the first try. I would say there's a few things that come up, and the first is that travel group that I traveled with helped alleviate a lot of the headaches because they took care of everything for me. So instead of me doing the research of what neighborhood is safe and where do I co-work and da da da, they have all that. They give you the apartment, they give you the co-work space, they have teams on the ground in those cities that you can hit up and be like, where can I get donuts? And they'll be like, oh, around the corner. And that you have these basically on-demand hotline people there. So kicking my trip off with that company helped a lot because then I got introduced to a community of like 4,000 or 5,000 people that I can hit up in a Slack group or the Mighty Networks group and say, hey, I'm going to Peru, does anyone have like a top restaurants list? And 3 people will message me, or where can I stay? And people will be like, go to these neighborhoods, not these ones. So I don't have to do a lot of that Googling by myself because of the community that I got plugged into.

You wanna know what's so random is that one of my best friends from college works for that company and is like a senior community manager or something.

Wait, do you know their name?

Yeah, Molly. She, oh my God, she saw me recently and I, and she, I put two and two together that it was Remote Year and I was like, wait, I know someone who was on Remote Year. Do you know Chelsea Rife? And she was like, maybe, like we may have been in one of the, that's so funny. I think she may have been at that when you guys had that, like it was a celebration of some kind of like, I don't know, it was in Greece or something maybe.

Oh, Nation Fest.

Yes. That like, yes. She was like, oh, was she at Nation Fest? So just a random—

oh my God, yeah, small world thing. But this is a good point, like, right, you're seeing right now there's a connection. That's how it is. Like, I can go anywhere in the world, including places I've never been in, like Japan, and be like, hey, is anyone here? Can anyone tell me what to do and where to eat? And immediately I'll have recommendations. So yeah, there's no way I would have done this alone because I have traveled that way before. I think last time we talked on your podcast I was just coming off like a 5-week Euro trip and that type of style, I was like, I will never do that again. Like figuring out everything on my own, right?

Finding hostels. Oh my God. Trying to find cafes that have good enough wifi to work at.

The transportation, the money, everything. Like again, every time you land in a city with this company, they have a city guide, they have the team, they have a community leader. It's like, it's a lot of handholding, but to me I'm like, it's worth it. Like I don't wanna deal with all this headache, especially running a business. The second thing I'll say is I had to figure out the hard way. How to set up my schedule because I was like, yeah, whatever, I'll work late. But like, late culture, especially in like Southern European places like Spain, is normal. So me taking a call at 9 PM, I thought I was like in the clear, and I'm like, no, that's when people are going to dinner. So then I was missing out on all the dinners and fun wine nights and, you know, tapas tours and things. And so I was like, well, I don't want to be taking calls at 9 PM, but I'm literally 6 hours ahead of my clients. So I really had to look at my schedule and start literally blocking off like ideal dates and times I wanted to work and then reverse engineer it to make my Calendly fit and let my clients know, hey, we're moving up our calls a little bit. It was a lot of rescheduling and shout out to any of my clients that have been with me for like 6 to 12 months because there's been a lot of times where I'm like, hey, I know I said I was gonna do this time, but I can't do that anymore because I'm moving countries and now the time zone changed and now that, that's gonna be 3 in the morning for me. And I tell them that now, that's actually like part of my onboarding process is I say, just, you know, I do travel a lot and I'm really— I hate rescheduling, so I do my best to keep everything in order. But there are some times where I'm like, I had to change the flight, I didn't realize the train was going to take this long, I got caught up. And just like be patient with that side of my— like, this is part of my lifestyle, it's never going to be not a part of it. Um, so that's something I make very clear. And the other thing was realizing like I can't be launching all the time because launches require so much energy and planning And to your point, I don't go to these countries to sit inside all day. I like to take advantage of the beaches and the food and the rooftops and all the fun things going on. So for me, I had to start realizing, well, what takes a lot of time and what do I wanna keep prioritizing and like de-investing from? And I realized I just need consistent clients that are paying me a monthly number. That's basically my monthly salary for a certain period of time to have that stability. And then when I have a number I feel comfortable with, maybe I could do a live launch. So this whole entire year I haven't done a full-blown, like, all hands on deck launch since probably December or January because I set myself up early in the year. But again, that was after learning through that Remote Year trip and other trips that, like, I can't— I remember doing a launch in the middle of Remote Year and I was like, what the fuck did I just get myself into? Like, it was not okay. So I learned that, uh, for me, taking on less clients at a higher price point that can pay me recurring revenue is like essential to travelers. And if you're gonna launch something, pick somewhere to ground for a second, like go somewhere for 3 to 4 months and then launch something live and big. And then I think that's easier on the nervous system.

Yeah, that makes so much sense because launching on the go, I like need to have my life in order when I'm at home and I'm gonna do a launch. Yeah, I'm like, I need to make sure like shit's cleared, like we're good. Like I have so much spaciousness in my schedule and time. And it's— I wonder, what do you think it is about launching that feels so mentally exhausting? Okay, so I have something I think you're really going to love and your business is going to love it even more. Do you want to steal the strategy I've been using to seduce premium buyers and sell out my offers on Instagram Stories? Chances are you're already posting, you're already making sales, but if your Instagram Stories aren't working as hard as you are, you're leaving money on the table. Sold Out Stories is going to teach you exactly how to change that so that you can sell out any offer at any price point. And even high-caliber coaches miss this because selling on stories isn't about how much you post or how frequently you show up face to camera. It's about psychological sequencing. And the way you're posting right now might be giving the premium buyers in your audience the ick. Documenting your day and hoping it builds trust, posting look-at-me content and calling it authority, sharing client wins as soon as they drop in instead of strategically weaving them into a story selling sequence designed to drive demand and convert sales. We both know that you're not here to learn how to show up more. You're here because you know your content could be converting faster and more effectively. Sold Out Stories is going to give you 5 high-converting story selling frameworks built specifically for premium buyer psychology. Inside, you'll get over 6 hours of deep dive video trainings, real IG story breakdowns, and live walkthroughs that show you exactly how to elevate your slides from authority building all the way to offer flow. In less than 10 slides. My clients have already been using these frameworks to pull 5-figure sales days while posting less. One client generated 14 premium leads from a single story sequence. Another sold out her event in under 6 hours with just 8 strategic story slides. No sales calls, no paid ads, just the right frameworks. You'll walk away knowing how to sequence for desire, transition into your offer seamlessly, and sell daily without ever feeling salesy. You already know your offer is incredible, so now it's just time for your stories to sell it like it is. Grab Sold Out Stories today and turn 10 slides or less into your highest converting content. Let's make your next story your most profitable one yet. Click the link in the show notes below and I'll see you inside.

I think for me there's so many unknown variables. Like, to me it's a lot of like, oh, I hope this many people sign up and I hope this is going to happen. Oh wait, okay, we sent 4 emails and let's just try 5. Let me write one more. Like, to me, there's always these variables that are changing. And so I think that's what feels usually mentally exhausting for me is like we're constantly changing the variables and my variables are changing every month. So it's like the variables changing every month on top of the changing variables of a launch together is so chaotic that I'm like, I'm gonna literally pass out if I, if I do like a big live launch. But To be honest, I also think that's something I can work on. Like I think I can make my launches simpler and just be like, nope, this is what we're doing. We're gonna do this many things and this many things and that's that. But I think I tend to overcomplicate it for myself and I, I think it's just something I'm learning as I go.

Yeah. Yeah. I definitely think I, and a lot of people probably, we have this idea. I know this, a lot of my clients feel the same way as you have this idea of that, like there's almost like this buildup, this hype around what it means to be launching and we almost make it more than it needs to be. Like, if you have the emails already written and you already know what everything is and the links are in place and it's a checkout page that you've used before and the landing page is done, like, I guess a launch shouldn't be that much different than just living your life and saying, hey guys, like, doors are open to whatever program. But it's like we build up this idea in our minds of like, it's the launch, and it's almost like the pressure of like needing to get the amount of spots that you want. Yes. Or to like hit the income number that makes it feel like more than it actually is. And I think a lot of what holds people back from launching is not even that the launch itself is actually that complicated or challenging, but it's the mental load. Mm-hmm. Of like holding space for all of, like you said, the unknowns, the variables. Did that work? Did it not? Who's signing up? No one's joining. What am I gonna do? Oh fuck. Like, this is embarrassing.

Yeah.

Or whatever.

It's, it's all of that. Mm-hmm. Yeah, and like, to your point, looking at data, right? Like, when the email goes out, okay, no one clicked. Why did no one click? There's 3 buttons in there. Okay, maybe we need 5 buttons in the next email. And it's like, sitting down and taking time to review that stuff takes time. And again, when you're in a foreign country with 20 people that are traveling and they're inviting you everywhere every 10 minutes in the group chat, you're like, I don't want to sit down and review this email sequence. Like, I want to go swimming in the Mediterranean Sea. And I think that's something that there is a give and take with this lifestyle. You know, there's— there was a— I remember there was a month this year I was like, I feel like I literally didn't work, but not in a good way of like, oh, I set myself up. It was like, no, no, I'm like behind. Like, I deprioritized my business too much. And on the flip side, I've done the opposite where I'm like, I don't even remember that country because I was just working all the time. So I've constantly had to adjust how I'm doing things. But I agree that for me, it's planning ahead and knowing, okay, there's not that much we have to change. And that's something 100% need to work on.

Have you ever had like a conversation with yourself where you're like, I am available to earn less money if it means that I get to enjoy this experience more? Because there was a moment for me in 2022 when I was like, I would be so okay with earning less money if it means that I get to live more life. Mm-hmm. And I feel like maybe this kind of lifestyle shows you that? Because that's what we all want at the end of the day, is to travel, to swim in the Mediterranean Sea, to like have these experiences, to, you know, drink and dance on the rooftop with fun people that you just met and whatever. Like, that's kind of what we're ultimately desiring and that we think money is going to give us. And so if you have those experiences at your fingertips anyways, has there ever been the conversation with yourself where you're like, I am— I could make more money and I'm actively choosing not to because I would rather enjoy what's happening.

100%. This year I started color coding my calendar, and anytime I do anything for myself that has absolutely nothing to do with my business, which is just leisure, I color code it yellow, and it shows me the time insights. And majority of my weeks this year have been yellow, which to me signals I'm living the life that I want. And I did have to have this conversation with myself when I was like, wait a second, Chelsea, you've always wanted more money to be able to experience more life, and you are experiencing life.

Yeah.

So to your point, I'm like, why would I need more money And by the way, a lot of things I like to do are not that expensive. Like, like, I like swimming in the ocean— that's free. I like going out to eat. Depending on where I go, it's not $10,000 to go to lunch, you know? Like, there's certain things in my life that I realize, like, the things I enjoy genuinely are not that much. Like, I don't need to be making multi-millions of dollars to afford the lifestyle that I want. And especially in a lot of these countries, like, you can live like a queen for pretty affordable prices.. So that's a big realization I had in Cape Town. I was in this really great neighborhood. I had a studio apartment that had a, a balcony overlooking the beach and all this sunlight, and it was just right next to a Pilates studio. And I was like, wait, this was like your dream vision. Like when you think of your life, it was an apartment by the ocean, slow mornings, chill schedule. And I was like, you're living that. So why would you fill up your day with unnecessary tasks tasks and activities when your current lifestyle is the one that you visualize in your head. Yeah, so I have 100% done that, and to be honest, I'm kind of planning to do that in September. I want to take all of September off. I'm going on a writing retreat in Greece, and I've just been working my ass off the last few months, and I'm like, I want to take off pretty much all of September to write and create and hibernate. And yeah, I'm probably going to see a dip in my income, and it's probably going to feel a little bit activating, but I'm like I know that it's worth it because if I don't take this break, I probably will burn out and want to like burn my business down. So I'm like, we need a moment to regroup and yeah, be okay with seeing that income dip.

Yeah. Are you writing a book?

I've been trying to write a book. I've been writing forever and I'm like, I don't know what this is. I don't know if it's a book or a Substack or just a, like a bunch of blog entries. So what's interesting is the retreat I'm going on, the person that's running it is who's someone I really respect and admire. She's the author of this book called How to Murder Your Life. She, um, was a drug addict that worked at a magazine for most of her 20s, and she just wrote this beautiful memoir. And I've been obsessed with her work. It's like the only book I've ever finished in a day. And I was— I've always been trying to get her on the podcast and like interact with her in some way, and she's just very— she's kind of that like recluse writer that's like, I don't really do that stuff. And so when I saw this retreat, I was like, is this a joke? Like, this author is going to be at the retreat for 7 days in Greece. I'm already going to be in Europe. Like, this is insane. So now that she's going, it's kind of lit a fire under me to be like, you need to bring something that she can read and give you feedback on, because I feel like that's a wasted opportunity to get your eyes— excuse me, your work on the eyes of an editor that wrote a best-selling book. I was like, you can't come empty-handed. So I think it's a book, but I don't know, it could be something else.

Hey, don't forget that every month we are picking a Listener of the Month to win $50 in cash just for showing love to the show. All you have to do is leave an epic review of the podcast on Apple Podcasts, screenshot the review before you hit submit, and DM that screenshot to us on Instagram @makeshifthappenpodcast. And that's it. I want to thank you for being such a loyal listener and show my appreciation by putting a little extra cash in your pocket. I know it's super easy, not to do it, but every single rating and review seriously helps the show rank higher and reach new people, so we appreciate them more than you know. We'll announce the next winner at the end of the month and slide into your DMs if it's you, so keep an eye out and good luck. Love you guys, and thanks for supporting Makeshift Happen. That's so— I can see you writing a book because you're such a good storyteller. Oh, thank you. Yeah, I feel like that's like one of your strengths. You're really, really talented at storytelling, and I'm sure you have collected lots of stories, especially over the past year of, you know, travel and just mishaps. And like, that could totally— like, it's— I'm seeing it already, the book is coming together.

Well, the thing is, it's a lot of boy stories. And I don't know if you've ever felt this— now, now it's turning into I'm interviewing you now— where you have this identity, right? Like, I'm a coach, I'm a consultant, I help people with podcast strategy.

Oh, does this fit the narrative, right?

And I'm like, you're gonna read some like triple X dark stories of like what happened at the club at Argentina at 3 AM that I don't think my mom wants to read. And I've been writing them and writing it.

Those are the bestsellers though. I know that people are like, I can't believe I'm publishing this.

I can't believe it. They're like, what the— I— that's really out in the world. So that's something that's come up is like, I really want to share this. And there's a piece of me that's like scared shitless that people are going to be like, I've never seen this side of you, who are you, I don't recognize you, and that it's gonna like burn my business down or something. But I know everyone I've talked to was like, you're crazy, it would only help you. Yeah, because people are gonna like actually like that human side of you, but it's, it's definitely a little like, oh yeah, no, I'm, I'm excited about it because you share a lot, but you don't share that stuff like that.

I don't think that that kind of content has ever seen the light, which is convenient because I have on my list of things that I wanted to ask.

Oh, perfect. You're like, oh, that's so funny, we can just get right into it. Funny.

The next question is, what kind of guys did you date and which country had the best men?

Oh, okay. So in Valencia, I went on a dating spree and I was just I was like, you know what, I didn't date that much in my 20s. Like, I had a few boyfriends here and there, but I never was the person that's like, oh, I'm going on a date every week. Like, that just wasn't— I don't know, I didn't do that. So I was like, I'm gonna have my dating era where I'm just gonna be like going on dates all the time. So Valencia last year, I dated— I went on dates with a guy from New Zealand, Ireland, France, and Spain, like all within one month. Um, then I met a guy that was from Poland, but he lived in London, and we dated for a little bit. It. Then I dated a guy that was from Cape Town who was like stage 5 clinger, and I'm like, absolutely not, we need to end this. Block, delete, get out of my life. Um, so yeah, I've dated a lot of different guys, and I would say— okay, there's two answers to this. The hottest guys I've ever seen in my life live in Cape Town. Like, they all look like Zac Efron or Liam Hemsworth. Like, wow, because they— it's a very outdoorsy city, so everyone is hiking, swimming, rollerblading, like really taking care of themselves. And the food is really high quality there. So I don't know, everyone's just like beautiful, in amazing shape, tall, gorgeous. So if you want to go meet hot-ass people, go to Cape Town.

Check.

Hot tip. Hot tip. And then the ones I have my favorite men, I would say I really, really liked, um, I really liked Portugal and Lisbon. But it's funny because I didn't meet that many Portuguese. I think it was all the expats I was meeting. Okay, so I don't know that's really fair. But you know what's the funniest thing is my ex was German, and for some reason all the guys that I've hooked up with since we've broken up or been attracted to have all been German. So now I feel like I have this weird, like, wait, but subconscious tie to Germany. You gave so many examples of guys who are not German, and then the ones that I end up like, oh, actually hooking up with, like, more so— there was a guy I met on a bachelorette party, and I'm like, oh, he was German. And then a guy I had a little crush on in Colombia, and I'm like, oh, he's German. And then like, just like these— there, it's funny, the guys I hook up with were Germans. So maybe that says something.

I don't know.

Yeah, maybe I hook up with non-Germans and I marry a German. I don't know, it's weird.

But you like the German men, you think?

I think so. And I think someone asked me that because they're like, why? They're like stoic and kind of cold and blind. Yeah, I don't get it. There's like no emotions. And I'm like, I don't know if it's because I dated a German and had so much, um, tie to German culture, like living there, that I feel more comfortable around them now and like I get the culture. And then there's part of me too that's I was like, I kind of like how straightforward they are. Like, that's something I appreciate about my ex, that he would be like, no, like, what do you mean? Like, that's not true. And like kind of challenge me a little bit. And I like to be challenged in that way. So I think there's a part of me that's like, I appreciate the bluntness and the questioning and the pushing back that makes me like rethink myself.

Yeah. I think it's more the challenge because earlier you were like, when we were talking about, um, the intimidation of like being a successful woman and feeling like in the dating space, like, am I going to be intimidating? It's almost like they have this energy where you are almost intimidated by that. Oh yeah. And I think that's kind of the dynamic that you're looking for.

I think it is. Like, I am very intimidated by Germans and French. So I think like—

yeah, because they're kind of mean.

Yeah, they're fucking mean. And I'm like, I don't know, I'm like, maybe I need to go to therapy about it. But I'm like, I think that I'm attracted to that too.

And you're like, and I like that.

Yeah, I'm like, I kind of the Dom thing. I'm like, I need you tell me what to do and like scare me a little bit.

Yeah, no, I think that's it. I think that's— and they probably bring that energy.

They do, because they don't give a fuck.

They don't care. Like, yeah, like, you're not impressing me, literally. And that's— you're like, oh, amazing, let me try.

Like, let me try. My anxious attachment style is fired up. Let me get all the validation from you. Yeah, it's something I'm working on in therapy, but I do think that's it. I think they're like, I don't, I don't care about your career success and your income. Like, cool, why don't you show me who you are as a person? And I, I really appreciate that, actually.

Yeah, no, I think that's it. Okay, what are— is there any like a crazy or just funny or like weird stories of, of dating around the world? Like, you've lived in so many countries and have dated people from all over, there's got to be like some stories that stand out.

Oh my gosh. Okay, well, speaking of the French, I went on a date with a French guy in Spain, and I found— we ended up having this incredible conversation on our first date. We were talking about human design. He knew his birth chart. I'm like, French people know this? Like, what the fuck? Like, and it was so insane that I've never talked to a guy that was like that into that stuff, or talking about breathwork and his ayahuasca journey. And I was like, oh damn, really cool. So we got along really well. We went back to his house, had a little fun. And then fast forward throughout the week, he was like, great meeting up with you, like, I loved our deep conversation, I would love to hang out again. I'm having a party on Friday if you want to come. It's masquerade themed, and you can bring all your friends if you not. And this is while I was on that group trip, so we were all like, ah, like half of us were single. Like, mask party at a French guy's house in Spain, like, yeah, this sounds like it's gonna be fun. So we all go.

I'm scared.

I go to a costume store for like 5 hours and buy masks for everyone. I'm taking pictures like, Sam, which one do you want? Okay, Chelsea, which one? Like, it was just con— like, it was really a big plan. We told the boys like, absolutely not, you're not coming. Like, our group of boys. Yeah, uh, we had a pregame, we all got ready, like, it was so fun. And then we go to their house and it's him and his two roommates, and I brought like 13 girls. And I'm like, excuse me, where, where's the party? And he's like, oh, everyone's coming, everyone's coming. I'm like, okay, whatever. So we start drinking more, we're playing like beer pong, da da da, and like 5 more people came throughout the course of like 4 hours. And then what was the weirdest thing is he just didn't talk to me the whole party. He said hello and never talked to me again.

Wow.

And I was like, okay, what is happening here? Like, this is insane.

I need to know, were they dressed up? Were they in theme?

He was wearing a cowboy hat and a, like, Ninja Turtles mask. And then one of his roommates was not dressed up at all, and then the other one I think took it seriously and wore a mask. No. So I was like, it kind of was giving that Mean Girls scene energy where you're like, she shows up and you're like, wait, no, why are you guys not as dressed up as we are?

Yeah.

And then the second part of that was like, he just— he kind of ghosted me in real life. Life. Like, he didn't speak to me the rest of the party. Even his roommate came up to me and he's like, wait, you guys haven't talked all party? I'm like, I, I don't know what it is. I keep going to rooms and he's like running out of the room, or he'll avoid me, or I go into the kitchen and he leaves. I'm like, I'm getting it, I'm getting a vibe he doesn't want to talk to me. And I remember just getting so drunk because I got so anxious and nervous about it, and I was like, I'm just gonna numb this with alcohol. And I ended up just handling it really bad. Like, I was so upset about it and basically went home the next morning, had such a bad hangover, and we were all supposed to go to a beach club. I had a mental breakdown at the beach club. I was literally crying my eyes out, sobbing about this guy that I met one time that basically ghosted me in real life. Could not control myself. Like, people were trying to party and dance, like, I need a hug. So that was just very weird. When you said it was weird, I'm like, that was fucking weird. I was I've never been like, a, ghosted in real life, and then gone to a party that was advertised as a party that was like a very chill hangout together, and we're in like full-on costume masks, like Cirque du Soleil.

Well, at least you had your 13 friends with you, because imagine if you would have gone all out with your costume and showed up like alone.

I, I literally would have died. I would have been like, oh, wrong house, and like ran out. No, the girls had my back too. That was nice. Like, they were all like, Chelsea, let's go, like, we need to get out of here. So that was nice.

Yeah, so you never heard from him again?

Like, no. Oh my God, I never heard from him again. But as I'm just riding my bike one day, minding my own business, just going along, like finally moving forward with my life, I hear a little ding ding ding, like bike bell, and it's his two friends that were at the party. And they're like, Chelsea, in their French accent. I was like, oh no no no no no no no. Thank God they didn't, um, we didn't like stop and chat or anything, but we did all stop at a red light together, so it was awkward. We were on our, on our bikes like, hey, last time I saw you I was absolutely wasted and hated your friend, and you tried to make a move on my friend and she did not. It was just a very awkward thing, and we're like, okay, have a good day. Not great.

Oh my God, I'm dead. Not the masquerade party where no one's wearing a mask.

Yeah, that really happened.

Oh my God, is there— okay, let's play, let's play a game. Oh yeah, let's do— okay, what are your top 3 favorite locations? Locations that you've been to?

Oh my gosh, okay, I'm gonna think of this year. Um, Peru was one of the best locations for food. I did not know Peru had such an incredible food scene. And the food there— I mean, the best restaurant in the world right now, voted number one, is in Peru. So that was amazing. I've never had like better food. Cape Town is highly up there. I'm going back there this winter slash their summer. Um, it's just beautiful. The people are amazing, the food is amazing, it's cheap. It's just a really good good quality of life. And then I would say, um, where have I even been the last few months? I'm like, uh, like, where did I go?

Okay, so you said Cape Town, Peru, Peru.

One more, one more favorite. Is there any like constraint here, like favorite food, favorite environment, or just like—

no, just like a place that you've, that you've been that you enjoyed? Okay, I would say you liked Lisbon.

I was like, a lot. Yeah, I like Lisbon. Yeah, so I would say Lisbon is the other one. There's a lot of life there, so Lisbon Lisbon.

Okay, Cape Town, Peru, Lisbon. Fuck, marry, kill out of all those three?

Yes. Okay, I would marry Cape Town. Okay, fuck Lisbon. Kill Peru.

Kill Peru? That was like your number one.

It's because I dated a guy there and then we didn't end up working out, so there's like kind of a memory there that I'm like, yeah, we can kill that. Yeah. I'm goodbye. We can kill that.

Oh my God. Have you, do you make it like a goal for yourself to like every country that you go to, like you really wanna be social and you wanna get out there and you wanna date? Are you using apps? Are you meeting people in person? Like you, you mentioned how you are actively seeking a partnership. Mm-hmm. Like you, you had that fun era in Valencia where it was like probably not gonna be super serious. Yeah. But you wanted to be dating a lot, but now you're like really looking for someone. So is there like a strategy or like an intention? Of like how to go about it?

I would say it goes in phases where I'll be on the dating apps and being like, okay, let's try this out. And then I've personally never met any of my partners on dating apps or even a long-term fling on a dating app. So to be quite honest, I've given up on them a little bit. I just deleted my Hinge like 3 weeks ago.

I was like, I don't think this is it.

So I would say I'm trusting now that like I'm gonna meet who I'm meant to meet when it's time and that something will happen. And I I tend to have this belief too that it has to be like career or, or partnership. And I went to a tarot card reader and she's like, I think you need to start thinking of your career as like a path to this person. Like, you might meet him at the podcast studio, or he could be your video guy or something. Like, it's probably gonna happen like that. And I was like, oh, that actually sounds more like fun and exciting to be like, as I continue to pursue my dreams, there's going to be someone that falls in line with this. So in terms of like my strategy is like I— sounds like so glib, but like trusting the universe that it will happen. And I think the other thing is the fling I talked about in Peru. We were pretty like— it's weird that we were like a serious fling, like we were hanging out every day, going to lunch together, hooking up, being intimate, like going on trips together. And I said I was totally fine being casual, and when it ended I was like, I think I'm done with that, like I don't want casual anymore. And so that's my strategy too, is being honest where I used to think saying casual would like trick them into something. And I'm like, no, when you say casual, they're gonna treat you casually and you're gonna be in a casual thing. So now on the dating app that, um, I just told you I deleted Hinge, but right before I deleted it, I was like, if I get back on, let me change my answers. So now they're pretty forward, and I'm like, they probably are going to weed out a lot of people and I'll get less matches. But I was like, I need to be more honest. Like, I'm not just looking for a fun little like fling to fuck around with. Like, I want to be— I think I put, um, here's what I'm looking for: like direct communication, fun inside jokes, someone who has big visions for their life. Not like the silly ones, like loves chips and salsa. I was like, you need to be more serious. Like, so I changed my prompts to be a little more, again, weeding out. And I've realized too, like, I just— I think I just need to tell people, like, hey, if you have a friend, like, I'm single and I'm open to meeting people. And and I'm not closed off. Like, I, I am in a place where I'm ready for that. But I think the other thing that we've been talking about is my lifestyle is very unique. So I either need to find someone that has this lifestyle or that is okay with us being long distance for some months and then being back together, or I— they would be okay if like we live together in a country but are okay with me going to do my own thing for like a month or two at a time, because that is my lifestyle and it's not something I'm willing to give up.

Yeah. Do you think that like when you meet someone you'll ever want to settle down in a specific location, or do you picture yourself being a nomad forever?

I definitely could see myself settling down. It depends on the location and the environment, because I just did that in Germany. I moved for a guy.

Do you think there's any part of you that's like jaded by that, where you're like, I'm not going to do that again?

No, I think I actually loved our time together as a couple. It was honestly just the environment. We were living in like a northern fishing village in Germany during lockdown. But I think if we had lived together in like a place we both liked, like Lisbon or Australia or Cape Town, I would have been— we would probably have gotten married, to be honest. Like, it was just the environment, it so stressful. And probably what your partner went through, where like you don't know the language, you have no friends, no family, you can't work, you can't— and it's lockdown, you couldn't leave the house. Like, I was like, I literally feel like I'm just sitting here doing absolutely nothing, twiddling my thumbs and talking to my clients on Zoom every once in a while. And so I think that's something I worked through in therapy too, was like, I'm, I'm not opposed to settling down, but I am opposed to just picking a location and not having any say in where we are, what we're doing. Like, that's not something I'd be okay with moving forward. So we would have to negotiate on the location and be okay with it.

Yeah, yeah. It's not like you're gonna meet a Polish guy and you're like, okay, I'll move to Poland, like, whatever you want.

So it's so funny you say that because I always use that example. I was just about to say it, but I was like, don't say it, where I was like, I'm not gonna just like move to Poland in the middle of like a random city or like go to a farm in the side of Wyoming or something. Like, that's— environment is really big. I'm also a reflector in Human Design, and environment is like everything to us. And so I realized that, like, if I'm in an environment that suffocates me, it's going to suffocate everything in my life. So I need to not be in Poland. Yeah, I mean, I've never even been to Poland, by the way.

Like, why are we hating on Poland? I know, love you Poland!

Shout out Poles!

Shout out Poland! I actually really want to go to Poland. Jaime and I both actually really want to visit Poland. Um, okay, but last question for— because you're, you're an independent woman in her 30s, you've built a business, you live this nomadic lifestyle, you've created a lot of success fulfillment for yourself, but there is this piece of the puzzle that you're searching for, which is your partner. There's a lot of people that are going to be able to relate to that. There's more and more women who are pursuing success and career, and they're getting to this phase in their life in their 30s, and they're finding it challenging to find their person. I'm sure there's been times when you've gotten really motivated and then times when you've been really down about it, like, oh, this is like never going to happen, like, what is your advice? Or what would, what do you say to yourself sometimes maybe for any of the women who are listening to this who also really wanna find their person and they maybe think like, I have a career or a lifestyle or something that maybe isn't gonna be an ideal match for a lot of people. How do you get out of that space of thinking it's unrealistic for yourself or thinking that it's too late?

Mm. I think there's two things I look to is couples that have done it and have met later in life. Life, that travel group I traveled with, I met so many people, including a couple now that's like 37 and 40 that I met last year, and they traveled the world together. They're going to like a million locations, and I was like, that's a good expander couple. On my trip, 3 couples formed that are still together. One couple lives together in Canada, one is traveling all over, one of them are doing long distance. And I'm like, it's not impossible. Like, you see people doing it in front of you all the time. Time. So find people that are living that lifestyle that you want to live, and just being like, okay, that's— that exists, having that evidence. And I think the second thing is, especially when you start to feel a little bit hopeless, is make your life so big and colorful that nothing can rock your center of gravity, because it's always big and colorful, and it's like this person's just another color in the rainbow. They're not like the taking something away that if they leave your whole world crumbles. Goals. I constantly try— this is why I prioritize leisure so much, because I'm like, if something happens, at least I have all these other things going for me and hobbies and creative projects. I also pour a lot into my friendships, so I have a lot of great friends and I, I can lean on them in those moments where I'm like, oh my God, like, what's going on? Are there any good guys out there? And when is this gonna happen for me? I, you know, I have amazing friends. They're like, you know what, let's— especially nomadic friends, like, let's go to London for 3 weeks. And you're like, yeah, okay, I didn't know that was like possible. So having a really good group of friends, that I think something that I've really actively intentionally prioritized is like, you need to have something big and exciting going on, for at least that you're excited about, so that again, if a guy comes and leaves, you're not going to be like night and day with your feelings. You're just going to be like, that's sad, but I, I have to move on because I have a lot of big things going on in my life.

Yeah, yeah, I love that. I love that. Just another color in the rainbow, not like the North Star. Yes, in your sky. Exactly. Totally. I also feel like that's the energy that you attract your partner in, and especially attracting a partner who's in a true fit for your lifestyle is only going to happen when you're actually fully living your lifestyle, when you are moving from place to place and traveling and enjoying. Like, someone who's going to be able to keep up with that pace and enjoy that, you're going to find them in the places that you would be if you were fully living that lifestyle and having that big colorful 100%.

That's something I learned from so many people, is like, when you're being the person you want to be, you will meet someone naturally because you're putting yourself in environments and conditions to meet someone on that similar level. And I always have to remind myself of that, like, do not let anyone clip your wings, do not water yourself down, because then you're going to meet someone at that level. So if you want to live a big life, keep living the big life, and someone will come that's meant to live right with you, right?

You'll be in the places where you meet other people that are interested in the things that have to do with that, like, big and colorful life, so that it's a match. I also think something that's just helpful is what I've noticed is relationships move a lot faster the older that you get.

Oh, 100%.

Because it's like we are almost stuck in this weird like headspace of thinking like we're gonna start dating and then we have to be together for 5 years before he's ready to propose, and then it's gonna take another year for us to get married, and then we're going to want to be married for 3 years before we have a baby. And it's like this whole fucking 10, like 10-year timeline, right? And that's like the timeline for a lot of people when they meet when they are in like high school or college or like early 20s. But when people meet later on in life, relationships move so much faster because you've already like went through all the bullshit. Like, yeah, you're not— you don't need to get to know each other for 5 years to make sure that you're a match because you are already both, to, to our point previously, living your like big lives. You've got your careers, you know what you care about, you're solid in your values. There's so much change and fluctuation when you're younger. That's why people break up because they get together when they're 19 and then they're a different person when they're 23 or 25. Right? And so you meet someone in your 30s and it's like, that's pretty established who they are, what they care about, what their vision is for their future. And so you can align or misalign really quickly and just weed people out.

Yeah. And you stop caring so much if they like you, and you're like, do I like them? And you ask better questions, like higher quality questions and more questions that illuminate if they're the person for you. Or when you're younger, like, oh, what do you like to do on the weekends? And of course you want to ask that, but I feel like 30s, you're like, first and second dates, you're kind of like, okay, let's like get to the point. Like, we're done with the dicking around and let's just like be more honest. So I think that's the beauty of dating in your 30s is like, I know what I bring to the table and what I offer, and I'm, I'm happy to like weed that out earlier.

Where when I was younger, I was like, ah, yeah, you're just so concerned if they like you. You almost like put up appearances to get the validation of someone liking you, even if they're not a good match for you, because they I don't have the same long-term vision or values. So I think that's so important, just what you said earlier of like, if you've ever listened to Mark Groves, I, I love him and he talks all about relationships. He always says, you know, he talks about like standing in the truth of what you want. And that's exactly what you said about like your Hinge profile and everything, just standing in the truth of what you want. Like, this is what I'm here for, this is my vision. So yeah, I love that. I love that advice. Thank you so much for coming on the show, Chelsea, doing this in person. This has been really fun.

I know, I'm so excited. Thank you for having me, it's been a blast.

Yeah. Okay, let everybody know where they can find you and and how they can get into your world and learn about your work?

Yeah, you can pretty much find me at my name everywhere, chelsearife.com, Chelsea Rife on Instagram. My podcast is In My Non-Expert Opinion, which Sam has been on now twice, so go listen to that. And yeah, shoot me an email, DM, contact me. I love talking to everybody, and thank you for having me on.

Yeah, all right, we'll talk to you guys next week.

Bye!