Enter Your SAVAGE Era: Go ALL IN Without Burning Out Your Feminine Edge w/ Laura Martin

What if the hardest seasons of your life were actually the moments forging your power? Can you actually be a savage in business and a soft feminine wife and mother at the same time? Welcome back to the podcast, you guys. If you enjoyed the episode I did a while back about the paradox of the soft girl versus the girl boss, I think you're really gonna enjoy this conversation. Today's guest, Laura Martin, is the founder of the Soft x Savage movement. She helps multifaceted, high-achieving women get paid through every identity shift they've ever navigated, transforming their personal evolution into powerful, profitable brands while feeling deeply fulfilled in their relationships and marriages. Laura has built a multi-six-figure business helping women scale with soft, regulated nervous systems, savage business strategy, and a whole lot of bold energy without burning out or losing their feminine edge. Through her work, she blends somatic healing, branding psychology, and sales strategy to help women lead with both power and presence. In this episode today, Laura and I go deep into the hilarious story of how she met her Spanish husband and navigating the unexpected, what it was like to get married after just 4 months of dating and add a pregnancy on top of it, her whirlwind introduction to motherhood with an emergency delivery and a NICU baby, all while continuing to manage her business behind the scenes, the power of building a brand around who you're becoming so you can pivot without panic, how to stop fearing burnout and start viewing obsession and discipline as the life force energy of your business. Building a luxury brand even before you have all the shiny proof. The number one most powerful tool in sales and tangible advice to start embodying your own soft savage self. This episode is raw, it's grounded, it's packed with the kind of truths that are gonna make you rethink how you navigate overwhelming changes or identity shifts that might be happening in your life or your business. So if you're ready to stop hiding that messy middle part and actually just start monetizing all the different phases of your evolution. Stick around, you're going to enjoy this one. Let's dive in.

Welcome to the Makeshift Happen podcast. I'm your host, Samantha Daly, entrepreneur, life coach, and your no BS bestie, here to bring you all things mindset, manifestation, and personal development.

This podcast is designed to help you expand your mind and uplevel your life. So turn Volume up and roll the windows down if you're coming along for the ride.

Let's go make shift happen. Welcome to the show, Laura. I'm so excited that you're here. I was just saying to you, like, I'm really surprised that we're going through with this interview. You've been like, deep in it. Life has thrown you a total curveball, which I'm sure we'll talk about, but I'm so happy that you're here and we get to have this conversation. So yeah, welcome to Makeshift Happen.

Yay! I'm so excited to be here. Like I was saying before, I'm like, yeah, and it gives you a sense of purpose, like coming back to your passion and doing these things. So I'm excited. This is my first interview post-baby, so I'm excited to see where it goes and see how well my, uh, mom brain hangs on.

Yeah, yeah, I know the baby brain, they say, is so real. Okay. So the first thing that I wanted to ask you, because I, I remember, you know, when we first connected online and I was looking at your content and seeing kind of your story, I was like, wow, I feel like I have a lot of similarities with this girl, which is really crazy. But I selfishly wanted to ask you about your husband because I'm like, I think she also married a Spanish guy. Like, I need to know, like, how you guys met. Like, this is like so weird. I feel like we're living a version of the same life.

I know, except you're 10 years, I think, in with your man, and I am not even a year in with my man. It'll be a year this month, which is absolutely insane for you guys.

You guys just, you guys just dove in.

He just went in. It was like, oh yeah, let's go. Like, and it's insane what happens, and you just kind of roll with it. But yeah, we met at a conference and, well, kind of saw each other in a mastermind actually with someone I think you know, Colton, one of my friends. His mastermind, I was there. Oh, oh yeah, yeah, yeah. And so I was in one of his masterminds, and my husband Eddie was there in passing, but at the time I was with another guy also in the mastermind. Uh, great place for dating, guys. Uh, go, go in person. It's great, man. And then I was at a conference after I had ended things with that one guy, and I was filming one of these reels that at the time I was doing dating coaching and consulting and things like that. And the reels that were going viral were the, I dating apps aren't working, so I'm pretending to look lost at a yacht club in order to find my husband. And I was like, great, but I work with high-performing women, so let's put a spin on this. Dating apps aren't working, so I'm looking lost at conferences to find my husband, and I needed like a tall muscular man to throw me over his shoulder to walk me through this whole reel. And, um, lo and behold, Eddie was there, and I said, hi, can I borrow you for a reel really quick and throw me over your shoulder? And now he's actually my husband.

So wait, I love that. He was obviously down to film the reel, right?

Yeah, and spend the rest of his life with me, you know. Yeah.

Oh my gosh, that's so crazy. Okay, so he already lived in the US, like you didn't meet him in Spain or anything like that?

Yeah, he's actually been in the US longer than I have because I lived in Asia for a bit, and so he's been here 10 years and I've been here 4 years actually.

Okay, wow. Okay, wait, I love that. And also the mutual connection, I had no idea that that was like part of it, like Colton's Mastermind and everything. Okay, I selfishly had to ask that story because I was like, this is so, so funny and wild and crazy. But wait, tell us more about how like, how did that go so fast from you guys meeting to then getting married? You've now had a baby. Like, what— how— why was the pipeline so crazy fast, and what was that like?

Yeah, I mean, in my life, like, prior to this, in my whole dating era, I called it the pre-Housewife era. So I called it this whole training season to find your husband and built a whole business around that because that's kind of what I do. The seasons that I'm in, I'm like, let's just sell the process. Um, and so I did pre-Housewife era where I put myself into this whole training season. Little did I know he was doing something very similar. We both had these similar pasts of like, oh, who I am isn't who I'd want my future children to replicate in their marriages and things like that. So let me go on this journey and work on myself and heal myself. And then as that kind of unfolded, then we found each other at the end point of our quote-unquote healing journeys. And yeah, it just compounded. Like, we're crazy. We did— we knew each other for 4 months and then we eloped, and people we didn't know— people didn't know. And then we publicly got engaged in January I was pregnant in November. Like, our whole story is all over the place, but it just works for us. Like, it was just one of these things of like, quote unquote, you know, uh, when you know, you know. And I'm like, my friends will then come to me like when they're dating and they're like, do you think we're moving too fast? I'm like, I married a guy after 4 months of knowing him. I think I'm the wrong person to ask. Totally. So yeah, it just kind of happened.

It's so wild. Like, one of my old business mentors also had like a crazy kind of love story like that. She like got out of a serious relationship with someone that she was with for years and thought she was going to marry. And then, you know, she went through like her healing process and she met this guy, and within like a few months they were like pregnant. And then they were like, okay, and we're also going to get married. And then it all just like happened. And I think it's interesting to see those stories where, you know, so often we see versions of that that is quite like toxic or love bombing, like it's moving too fast for the wrong reasons. But then on the other side of the coin, like, there are those people and those stories where it's like, no, it actually just moved like that for us because we felt such a strong connection to each other and we kind of knew that our souls were like destined to be together in this lifetime. And you see them years later like so happy building a family and having success. So I just think it speaks to the idea that there is no right timeline for anything. There's no right timeline for, you know, how fast you're growing in your business, for how fast you're moving in your relationship. Like everyone's experience on Earth is going to be so unique. So it's cool to see that from like the healthy side of someone who's like loving that experience. And yeah, it just goes to show, like, throw the timelines out the window because you never know, like, how fast or how long it's going to take you is always going to be your unique journey.

And it's one of those things where like now we threw a baby into the mix and we had pregnancy. Like, say I did know him for 5, 10, whatever amount of years I'm a new person, you know, like it, it wouldn't have even mattered. We just would've had a longer timeline of trust and like, you know, knowing that thing. But like, you know, we threw pregnancy into it and we're like, oh, we have to start dating again. And now we're, you know, newborn NICU life, like this whole wild journey that we just went on together. It's now this, oh, I have to date you again, like a whole other version of you. Not just my husband who also I haven't known that long and I'm dating you to be because of the short timeline, but also now as a dad and this new version of my husband that I get to now uncover. And anyone I've spoken to that goes on those journeys, you're still rediscovering your partner, even no matter how long the timeline has been. And especially when you have children, and especially when you're growing businesses, and especially when you're doing these things, like big things are going to happen in your life and you still have to rediscover who this person is. So it's like, sure, let's say I want 5 years with someone. Of course I would have loved that, but that wasn't my timeline. And I always made the joke prior to finding Eddie, I was like, you know what's gonna happen to me? I'm gonna find my husband, I'm gonna marry him within like a few months, and everyone be like, that's psychotic. And it's like, well, it's kind of my life. Like, we're just kind of run with it because, yeah, just like looking at it and I couldn't get comparative to people where like how you are, right? Like, oh, I would have loved like 10 years in the timeline and all this kind of stuff. But I'm like, but I also get to like meet my husband over and over again in these different timelines. And even if we did have that 10 years, like throwing a baby into the mix, like you're just such new people that you're like can I rediscover you? And that kind of gives us an advantage when, like, I'm already discovering you, so I don't really know you.

Yeah, yeah. Well, let's— I want to talk about that and, like, the identity shifts that have obviously come up for you in, like, the motherhood journey. But you recently had a baby very early. You mentioned you're doing the NICU life, which is really, really extremely hard emotionally, physically, you know, not being able to be with your baby at all times. Like, your baby's in the hospital right now and you're here at home and, and doing this interview. Like, it's a quote unquote normal experience, and I can't imagine what that feels like. But I'm curious about your experience of like being, cuz you didn't think that was gonna happen. No one thinks that that's gonna happen. Yeah. So like, especially with, you know, running a business and probably having lots of plans for like what you were gonna do for the rest of your pregnancy in your business to prepare yourself and then having that really disrupted. Like what was that experience like?

Yeah. And so background on the story, I went into labor, preterm labor at 26 weeks, and then I had my son 7 days labor. So, so I, a 7-day labor, which I didn't even know was a thing. I was like preparing for 24 hours max in my head. But I had just a random, my placenta got infected by a random bacteria, which then detached from my uterine wall, which then causes a whole bunch of blood to happen, which then just like when you get your period causes um, contractions, and in those contractions led me to early-term labor. So like a freak accident that just kind of happened that nothing can prevent, which was very annoying.

Okay, so I have something I think you're really gonna love, and your business is gonna love it even more. Do you want to steal the strategy I've been using to seduce premium buyers and sell out my offers on Instagram Stories? Chances are you're already posting, you're already making sales, but if your Instagram Stories aren't working as hard as you are, You're leaving money on the table. Sold Out Stories is going to teach you exactly how to change that so that you can sell out any offer at any price point. And even high-caliber coaches miss this because selling on stories isn't about how much you post or how frequently you show up face to camera. It's about psychological sequencing. And the way you're posting right now might be giving the premium buyers in your audience the ick. Documenting your day and hoping it builds trust. Posting look at me content and calling it authority. Sharing client wins as soon as they drop in instead of strategically weaving them into a story selling sequence designed to drive demand and convert sales. We both know that you're not here to learn how to show up more. You're here because you know your content could be converting faster and more effectively. Sold Out Stories is gonna give you 5 high converting story selling frameworks built specifically for premium buyer psychology. Inside, you'll get over 6 hours of deep dive video trainings, real IG story breakdowns, and live walkthroughs that show you exactly how to elevate your slides. From authority building all the way to offer flow in less than 10 slides. My clients have already been using these frameworks to pull 5-figure sales days while posting less. One client generated 14 premium leads from a single story sequence. Another sold out her event in under 6 hours with just 8 strategic story slides. No sales calls, no paid ads, just the right frameworks. You'll walk away knowing how to sequence for desire, transition into your offer seamlessly, and sell daily without ever feeling salesy.

You already know your offer is incredible, so now it's just time for your stories to sell it like it is.

Grab Sold Out Stories today and turn 10 slides or less into your highest converting content. Let's make your next story your most profitable one yet. Click the link in the show notes below and I'll see you inside.

And that's really dangerous when the placenta ruptures. Like, that's, that's a really like life or death situation.

Yeah, for me and my baby. So like just that whole process, it was between— there was a point where it was like between me or the baby and my husband, and I had to make decisions and all this kind of stuff. And it's, you know, you go through that experience, and what I keep saying, like, right now is just like, there's no time. You're just kind of in it. Like, there's no time to really sit and be like, oh wow, like, that's a big one. It's just like, holy shit, you're just kind of in it, let's kind of ride with it. But as for all of the things, like, yeah, like, I had the push before the push is the season that I was calling it. I just invested a whole bunch of money in my business with all these types of people to do all these kind of things. And, you know, I had all these launch plans, these masterminds to take off, like all this stuff. And you know, God's cute and laughs at your plans. And it's like, you think you have control, especially with a child. That's so cute. And my whole brand was around that, like preparing for what you prayed for. Like, I'm gonna prepare my business for— and it's a big thing for my brand, my brand is preparing for when you become a wife, because I'm sure you're experiencing that. Like, it's— there's just a lot of other things that, like, now you have even more hats than when you were single and it was just about you and like things of that nature. You didn't have weddings and you didn't have a household and all that kind of stuff. And then so I prepared my business for that, and then I started to prepare my business for my babies. So luckily for me, when that did happen, my business was already set up to essentially run itself except for certain things. And so when I went into labor, my husband, bless his cotton socks, was able to message my team and be like, Like I couldn't be on my phone for those 7 days at all. It was insane. So he would message my team to message my clients. And thankfully I have very like low maintenance, high performing women that aren't attached at me with this like anxious attachment. So no one cared. I mean, they cared, but they weren't upset that like, hey, things are gonna be delayed. And I was like, we're gonna delay them a month cuz I don't— they were telling me before I went into what they knew was gonna be active labor. They were telling me I was going to be in the hospital for the rest of my pregnancy. I was supposed to be due in August, so I was like, oh my God, like, we're just gonna roll with it. Like, at this— yeah, I know. I was like, I— that's 3 months in a hospital. Like, but because of the bleeding and everything, and I was just like, okay, like, how can we make the best of this? Like, me and my husband kind of made the joke of just like, well, this is the most expensive hotel we've ever been at. Let's just pony up and like play with it.

Horrible. Horrible amenities and trash food.

Yeah. And luckily our view, it's like, it was like the ocean, like Tampa, or not the ocean, but like Tampa Bay. So we like, we're pretending it's our beachfront view and like being weirdos, but we were just kind of playing with it. But yeah, as for like business and like the identity stuff, it was just, it's hard cuz then I went through it thinking, oh, I'm just gonna bounce back. Like everything's gonna be fine. I'm gonna bounce back. No. Like even now, like this morning I literally just got back from the NICU so I could do these interviews and then. I'm going back to the NICU, like I'm, I'm there the whole time. And so now it's kind of looking at my business model of just, you know, the live launches and the live masterclasses and things like that. They just don't fit, like at least for right now, they don't fit anymore. And so I, even though I had prepared certain programs and certain things, it's still just the identity. Like I feeling like speaking, you know, from my head and explaining, oh, here's the formula to high converting copy and. You know, sales funnels and things like that. I, I was teaching and training on that and I was like in my head thinking, why in the fuck am I here? Like, why am I doing this? My kid is in the NICU. Like, I don't want to be here versus like things like this or like mastermind. I don't know. It was just like this whole different identity where like I thought I could prepare, but then the identity comes in and it's like, no. Like even though you had this whole plan, it's just not gonna go. As you thought it did. And that's God just laughing at all of us.

At the end of the day, you had a post recently about how you were tapping into this alter ego to get you through these kind of like hard moments and help you continue to like get paid while you are moving through these identity shifts and feeling like things are so different. But there is a reality of still, you know, wanting to run the business that you love so much. Our businesses are our first babies so often. And then you have, you have now a baby baby, a real baby who's obviously so much more important, but there is still a part of us, I think, that wants to feel that sense of like fulfillment and progress and moving forward. So I'd love to hear your take on what that's kind of been like and how you're tapping into that alter ego to help you continue to move forward through like the hard moments and, and still get paid even while you're in this like, you know, challenging season.

I think that's what it comes down to, knowing your why and your purpose. Right? This wasn't— for me at least, Soft Savage is not how to make a quick buck. And like, do— like, I'm in this for a lifetime. It's something that chose me. It's divine. Like, you know, it sounds crazy, but for me, this is life or death. Like, with the work that I teach, that's something that saved my life, like, throughout this timeline. Like, I had crazy 20s and things like that. So it's like, this is life or death for me. I do think this work matters more— not more than my child, but like more than most things on this planet. So figuring out how to have a both-and life, it's, it's difficult. I'm not, I'm not going to lie about that. But when you can tap into this alter ego, like the savage side of me that can come here and do interviews and can run trainings and do the stuff and, you know, run my business from my phone while I'm also, you know, holding my kid for skin-to-skin kangaroo time, like it's a sense of purpose and ownership and responsibility where for me I'm not surprised any of this stuff happened, right? It— I say the prayer all the time to God, give me the responsibility. I want it. Like, I want the big responsibility. I want— I like having a lot of things on my plate that are for, for this. Like, if it's just noise, it's noise. But like, for the thing that I was assigned for, to me, yes, it's a lot, but it's also easy when you love something so much. Like you said, it's your first baby. And when big things are going on, you tap back into this and you get through it a lot better. This is why I've built my brand around the identity shifts that you have. Like, I'm using this exact moment as a selling point, right, of a business that holds you through all these things. Like, it is my brand. And there's no surprise that, of course, when I claim even a higher version of the Savage, this all happens. Like, how savage can you actually be in your leadership? And I'm sure you've experienced this as well. It's like, you launch something, you're tested in it. Like, let's just see how really good you are at this. And that's kind of what I'm tapping into. It's like, for the alter ego is what I think is our most authentic version of ourselves. A lot of us think this alter ego is like faking it till you make it, yada yada yada. But for me and for my clients, it really is this altered state that takes away the trauma that told you that you were supposed to be small and protected and approved by society. And a lot of people could say that, like, how in the world are you doing a podcast interview right now, 4 weeks after going through a traumatic— like noise. And it's like, how could I not? How could I not balance the two? How could I not share things? How could I not be passionate about my work when I'm living it right now? How could— those types of things. Like, that's my alter ego. And it helps you have this elevated state that drowns out the noise of the judgments and the traumas and the things that are telling you that, hey, you need to be more approved by society, you need to be more— you need to play quieter and be the good girl in order to be approved for all these other reasons. And so it's just tapping into that in order to share your life's work that God chose you to share.

Soft Savage is, is your brand. And as you said, like, you get— it's so funny, like, I say this all the time, even like when we named our dog Storm and then he turned out to be like a total— like, it's like you, you claim something, you put a name to it, and then it's almost like God like matches it for you. And we're like, fuck, we should have named him like Peace or like Zen or something. Um, and so you, you know, claimed this brand name of like Soft Savage, and then you receive these responsibilities, these challenges like thrown onto your plate where it's like, okay, well, if you want that to be the message that you're called to share, if that is the message that you're called to share, then you have to live that. You have to move through that. You have to like be the leader in that. So you, you get these things thrown at you that require you to be more of a savage. So speaking of Soft Savage, from the woman herself behind the brand, like, what does it actually mean? To be a savage? Because you, you've kind of said that, like, well, I think the, the— there's a general kind of connotation to savage, right? But you've said that it doesn't actually mean sacrificing your softness for success or dysregulating your nervous system to just hit the next goal. So what does it mean?

I feel like we can all relate to a time period in our lives where we sacrificed everything in order to achieve something, and that's why a lot of us are, are fearful of the savage side of us. If I actually give my all to something, I will I will burn out, I will lose my relationships, I will— whatever it is that your one moment of actually going for what you wanted led to, because you do it in a dysregulated way that usually comes from some source of trauma and you're trying to outprove yourself, so you're trying to outwork it. And so when you actually can do it in a grounded way, you one, can go after your highest mission, you can be savage because you're dedicated to a cause that isn't just about making noise, being seen, validating your insecurities and your wounds. It's because you accept the assignment of being divinely chosen and going on this mission where it's, it's just pure alignment. Like, it would feel so weird not to work. I tried not to work. It just feels crunchy, but not in a way of like, oh, I have a trauma bond to my business like it did when I had my first business. Like, that way it's like, no, this just isn't in alignment. Like, for me to sit back and relax and just be a housewife, I could But for me, that's not fulfilling, right? Like, that's not what my mission on this planet is to do. And that's what a lot of people, especially high-performing women nowadays that have these missions that, you know, step into their calling— that's the Savage, where you can sit here and go, I want and I am this. Like, I am someone that is whatever it is that you're trying to achieve. And you can hold and be able to switch into this housewife, into the mother, into this feminine being because you have a regulated nervous system. You're able to balance these two because none of it's dysregulated. It's all from this grounded place. And I can also see a swing in the other way with the soft, where it's like, I did this, I went so savage, and then I was— I'm soft and flowy and all the kind of— and then I was broke. Because you didn't do anything and you expected it to just come from rubbing your yoni. Like, it's not going to work that way. And so it's being able to balance, like, when you're actually in a alter ego state, and you own both sides of yourself, being a multifaceted, multi-passionate human being, you're able to go after what you want and it doesn't fully consume you, although it does become your whole life. But the more savage you are, the safer you feel in your soft, right? A lot of us, if we're just in our soft, we're worried about money, we're worried about things. You're not actually as soft as you are your sales system. Like, you're not as soft as you think you are. So when you actually use your savage to create—

but you're like anxious as fuck.

Yes. And they're like, I'm in the island. And I'm like, you're checking your bank account and you have like $14 in it. Like, what do you mean? Like, I couldn't sleep. Like, it wouldn't happen that way. But when you have the structures and the systems and you use the hustle and you learn new concepts and you create this masculine construct around your life, you can be the both and, and you can have the success and the impact plus like healthy, juicy, delicious relationships and, you know, all the things that you want without fearing this. Like, oh, I'm gonna burn out. Oh, I'm gonna lose the love of my life. Oh, I'm gonna lose these things. Or if I have the love of my life, 'Oh, I'm gonna lose my business or my drive.' It's like, 'No, you could be both.' I love that.

I just did an episode recently about the paradox between like the soft girl and the girl boss, and it's very much like in alignment with this conversation of so many of us experience that pendulum swing of like going so far into the one side and then realizing that like that's totally not fucking working. So then what, what happens when you drop a pendulum from the extreme side that it's on? It obviously swings all the way over to the extreme of the other side. And then you go into that other version, whether it's the burnout or it's the chaos of the, you know, really unorganized, like trying to be soft, kind of feminine, but not productive and doesn't feel fulfilled. And so I've been having so many conversations with high-performing women that have experienced that pendulum swing. And I was like, I, we have to find something in the middle. And it's, so it's a, what's between like soft and hard? And I'm like, like firm? Like, are we, are we firm girlies? Like, what are we even calling this? But I feel like soft savage is like your version of that, right? It's like the, it's the description of like being the both and like being able to dip in and out of both of those sides of yourself. But what I love about this so much, what like really resonates with me and the way that I lead in my brand, is that side of like not being afraid to claim the part of yourself that is a savage. I think because so many of us, especially the women who feel like they have a big calling to help people heal or expand or step into their abundance, or, you know, heal from trauma, whatever it is, like a lot of us in this personal development space, we had to go through a healing season of our lives to become these more regulated versions of ourselves that are actually like grounded and can lead. But in that we felt like we almost had to fit the mold of like the healing archetype, or like the spiritual guru, or like the personal development girly that is always, you know, taking care of herself and everything's perfect and it's always the right bedtime, and you know, you're not overworking and you're always, you know, home cooking and getting all the right foods and like doing all— and it almost turned into us gaslighting ourselves for our own ambition, of like feeling like we had to fit the healing archetype so hard that we had to like stifle or push down a little bit that side of ourselves that kind of wanted to be a savage, that maybe wanted to stay up a little bit late because we were so obsessed with the thing that we were fucking creating and we didn't care and we loved it. And like, we'll get more sleep tomorrow, like we're not going to kill ourselves over it. But like sometimes you do just feel that energy and that drive and that motivation, and there's certain things that get sacrificed along the way in that. And I think for a lot of the personal development space, people were afraid to own that side. Whereas if you go and you look over in other kind of sectors of like the entrepreneurial landscape, like let's take Gary Vee, Alex Hormozi, like any of those people that are much more, you know, traditional entrepreneur archetype, they, they've never been afraid to say work fucking harder, right? Like be fucking obsessed. Like And, and that was very much the masculine narrative. But as women coming up in the space, we felt like we had to completely reject that narrative of like, no, they're wrong. That's bro marketing. That's like too— that's unhealed masculine. That's whatever. And so we almost like pushed it away so far that we're low-key like stifling our own ambition because there is a part of us that's kind of savage. There is a part of us that's kind of like, wait, no, like I want to fuck off, let's fucking go. Like, I want to work hard on this thing. I even felt for so long that it was like not okay for me to say or talk about working hard because there was such like a stigma around like, I don't work hard, I don't chase, like I just attract. And it's so funny, like looking back on like being like the mindset girly or the manifestation girly or the healing girly and going, yeah, like all those things are true, but It's, but it's like there were other sides of myself that I didn't allow myself to fully express because I felt like it didn't fit that box.

Oh, 1000%. There's, there's a phrase one of my mentors says where it's a war on happy people cuz she's like obnoxiously happy. Nothing can get her down and it is triggering. Like it's those types of things. But there's also a war on people for discipline and it's like, especially as women, it's don't be that disciplined cuz that's a trauma bond or that's dysregulated. And it's like, what if I'm just so passionate about something that I can't not do it? It. Like, it's, it's that type of thing. And it's funny because my husband will always say it to me where he's like, you're addicted. Like, when we first started dating, he's like, you are literally addicted to this stuff. But he wasn't saying it in a bad way. It's just like, you are so lit up if you just talk about it. If you— so why would you turn it down? And there's like Leila Hormozi where she's like, fuck your mood, stick to the plan. Like, I love that shit where it's just like, I think that's a big thing that a lot of women need to give themselves permission to do because there's this hunger and then you can come back and do the things and manifest and do whatever you want with all the steams and all the stuff. Like, do what you can, but it's a both-end conversation where if someone is telling me— and I wonder if you feel this way too— where if someone is telling me like, oh, you're working too hard, or you have to relax, or things like that, I'm just realizing they need something that's more— they have more passion for in their life. Like, there's something that you are so dedicated to because you would never say that. And now that I am a mom, right, especially as a mom with a son in the NICU, like You would never say that to me about my son, right? That if I'm like, I'm by his side all the time, I literally hold him at the NICU. You, you, you're supposed to like do kangaroo time for like an hour. I am with him from, I work from 5:00 AM to 11:00, and then from 11:00 to 11:00 PM I'm there and I'm holding him like the whole time. And for like 6 hours, you would never tell me, no, don't do that. That's too hard work. Like that is an assignment and like, that's my calling. I would never not do that. But for that, that's more acceptable, right? Versus this thing that I put my blood, sweat, and tears into for a decade of my life, and it's just supposed to be like, no, that's supposed to just relax and it'll happen, and you shouldn't. It's like, be more alive in your life. Feel something that you're so fucking passionate about. And then if you don't have that yet, create the thing that gives you that sense of life that you want to. Like, you know, for me, yes, I create structures and systems and I broadcast that in my brand, but it's never to be one of those types of coaches that it's like, hey, this is so you can live your life and like, um, you know, take your foot off the gas and only work 2 hours a day. It's like, I don't want to just work 2 hours a day. Sure, with my kid and things like that, but like, I also love waking up early, staying up late, building projects, doing the thing, because it's a life force. And I think that's more of a conversation that we have to have, where it's like, I think men, because they're such, um, producers, providers, protectors, they get, they get like lit up by that, where it's just like, oh, like, I'm hungry for this. This is the thing that I'm just like put on this planet to do. And they're allowed to go on that route, whereas for us it's like, find that thing. Like, have a deeper conversation about why your Savage isn't awake. Is it because the thing that you're doing is just to make a quick buck? Or the thing that you're doing, like, it's just because you're experiencing something one time but you haven't actually found the thing that you are like I will lose sleep over this. Like, I don't care, I will go hungry for a little bit because of this. Like, when you find something like that, like, the conversation is just so different. And I think that's why it's such a different conversation when you talk to people like, like you, where it's just like, I see you posting right now about like your schedule and you're in the grind season, like stuff like— it's that, like, you love something so much that you're like, I don't mind the grind, like, this is actually fun. Just like when you're going to the gym and you're trying to grow a fat ass, you're like, I don't mind it, like, I want the thick ass this summer, like, we're in it. And so it's like finding that thing that just so excited about that you can't, you can't not, right? That's the addiction. It's like, I can't not do it because I'm so lit up by it.

And I think like for some people they find that it's like you'll see someone that's like so obsessed with like reality TV, they can't not watch every, every Bravo series, everything. And but no one's saying like, hey, can you like chill the fuck out and not do that? But for people that have a mission, something that they're so passionate about, you're right. It's like you can't not do it. It, it just feels like life force energy. It actually gives you energy. It, and it doesn't drain me. And I think that's the difference. It's like if you're doing something and it's, it's costing you your energy, it's costing you your sanity, it's costing you your peace, then you're probably hustling for the wrong reasons and, and for the wrong thing. You're in the wrong vehicle. Right? But you have a lot of drive, you have a lot of ambition, you have a lot of fire inside you. It's about finding the right thing to apply it to, because when you do that, that's when like the magic fucking happens. Because you take that, you know, ambitious version of you, that savage that's inside of you, and you apply it to a vehicle that's like, wait, this actually lights me up, this gives me more energy, this excites me, this like builds me up, it makes me feel like I'm becoming who I'm meant to be. It's helping me exercise my fullest potential on planet Earth. Like, when you find that, you, you're right, you can't not do it. So I love that description and in kind of like, yeah, just, just like the distinguish, like distinguishing between the difference of just working to work and just hustling to hustle and like, no, actually finding something where it feels like it's adding to your life by doing that, not taking away from it. There's a— I saw a quote from you that I loved and you said you need to be completely fucking obsessed with the game in to feel safe in the softness that you're craving. So that kind of summarizes exactly what we've been talking about here. But I also wanted to ask you about, um, yeah, your journey and kind of like building the brand that you've built and this idea of creating a luxury brand before you feel like you have it all. And sort of, you know, we've talked about identity at the start and just kind of like how you went about forming that next level identity for yourself even before all the things were there. You've talked about showing up like you're a million-dollar brand even before you hit the million. Like, how do you get a couple steps ahead of yourself in terms of the identity so that you can accelerate that path?

Hey, don't forget that every month we are picking a Listener of the Month to win $50 in cash just for showing love to the show. All you have to do is leave an epic review of the podcast on Apple Podcasts, screenshot the review before you hit submit, and DM that screenshot to us on Instagram at Makeshift Happen Podcast. And that's it. I want to thank you for being such a loyal listener and show my appreciation by putting a little extra cash in your pocket. I know it's super easy not to do it, but every single rating and review seriously helps the show rank higher and reach new people, so we appreciate them more than you know. We'll announce the next winner at the end of the month and slide into your DMs if it's you, so keep an eye out and good luck. Love you guys and thanks for supporting Makeshift Happen.

Yeah, that's a really good question. Something that I have found with brand— so when I first started building my online brand, so my first one was IBS anxiety, second was trauma, third was dating and relationship, and fourth is now branding, messaging, and the whole human soft savage. And so when I first started building online personas, right, as alter egos, I didn't know what I was doing at the time. I was 20-something years old, my early 20s, and I was in a domestically violent relationship. I was addicted to certain drugs and alcohol, and my life was just completely chaotic. And it was in this rock bottom moment that found my way to health and started IIN, like nutrition, and learning about nutrition in order to heal myself. And I started to share things on Instagram and switch my profile from like the woe is me sad girl, like Tumblr days— that was, that was me, I was a very big Tumblr girl— um, into this like, here's what I'm doing, here's how. And as I was sharing things online, I was holding myself accountable because I couldn't be saying these things online and then ripping and roaring at the club and being, you know, the drug dealer that I was at the time with my partner at the time. Like, that wouldn't be coherent. And so what I have found in these brands is like, oh, I want to become someone new, I'm gonna share my journey first and, you know, share how I've done it. And then what happened, then people saw what I did and then went, hey, can I pay you? I've been wanting to do that too. And so that's kind of what I've done as I've built these brands, where, hey, I started to heal my trauma because I I then had a trauma bond with my business, and I didn't actually heal anything in my life. And I wanted love, and I realized how I kept self-sabotaging that. So I was sharing my trauma journey from not a woe is me— and this is where I see a lot of people getting this confused— it wasn't a woe is me, here's my diary entry kind of thing. It was a, hey, this is, this is like through an authority lens that I wouldn't have called an authority lens at the time, but I didn't want to air my dirty laundry. I wanted to air the alter ego of how I'm navigating these things. Here's what I'm learning, what's the lesson, how can it help you? And it was constantly through this lens of like, here's Here's a lesson I just learned. Here's how it can apply to you. And again, I just, I didn't realize I was doing these things, but I realized in my brand that is what I've done. Just like how I'm now doing it. Hey, I'm going to make a million dollars before my baby comes home from the NICU. I don't know, crazy things that I put together. It's just like, here's the journey. Here's how I'm doing these things. And as a result, people are like, oh, and then I'll create a mastermind on it being like, hey, do you want to go through a pivot and get paid? And then people want to jump in and learn the same thing. And so as you're going on this journey, that's kind of what I've realized is just like, I'm going on an identity crisis, quote unquote, but really it's the evolution that God put me on. And I've shared these things and I've used brand to elevate me into that because it holds me to that higher standard now. It holds me to that alter ego. It projects me into the future identity that I want to hold. Because if I'm putting that online, I can't have a chaotic life behind me. And I feel like that's a lot of the coherence loop that's happening in the industry, is like, you're saying this online, but you're out doing things that aren't in alignment with your alter ego, and then you're wondering why it's not happening. And so what happens with me is like, I say this and my word is law. So this is what's happening now. I'm, I, I'm not going backwards. I'm making decisions in this way. I'm changing the entire identity of which I have. So it's been nice. That's why I love brands so much. It's like, no, this is it. Like I have now become my vision board and here's how we're gonna keep doing that along the way.

Do you ever get worried about putting something out there or claiming something like that? Like the journey of like, all right, watch me make a million dollars before my baby comes home from the NICU or whatever, like that's an example. But doing these things where you kind of like state the goal and then you take people along the journey with you, does that feel like— obviously it holds you to a higher standard because you're like, holy fuck, like now I better do something. I feel like that's kind of the same thing that happens when people invest in themselves. When you like invest a lot of money, you're like, oh shit, well like I actually have to like take action now. Like I actually have to like become the person, do the thing. So then you end up achieving it. So it's a great way to like, you know, inverse that same sort of feeling, just publicly stating a goal, and then it kind of holds you accountable. But do you ever— do you ever get worried about like the evil eye, or people like projecting bad things onto the journey, or feeling like you won't be able to actually do the thing that you said that you were going to do? And like what that might— what that might feel like? Because I feel like that's probably the main reason why people wouldn't do that, is like, well, I'm not going I'm not gonna say it until it's done because one, I don't want people's like opinions or judgments or like, you know, casting bad energy in my direction about like me not being able to do this thing. And two, what if I don't fucking hit it? Then it's embarrassing.

Yeah, that's— I was laughing as you were saying that because that was my best friend when I went on the whole journey of pre-Housewife era. She was like, but what if it doesn't happen? And I just looked at her and I was like, asshole, like what do you mean I'm never gonna get married? Like what does that mean? Like what do you think about me? Anyway, Like, for me, one, it, it can't not work out, right? It might not work out in my timeline, I will give it that, right? Like, I might not make a million dollars by the time my gig comes out. So what? Then I just go, hey, I'm gonna make a million dollars by the time I'm 33. I changed the goal. Like, the goal is still the same, my timeline just changes. And it's same thing with, you know, meeting my husband. I declared online, I was like, I'm gonna get rich, I'm gonna find my husband, and I'm gonna make a baby. I have a post, I have it saved still. I put it on the internet. It was supposed to be in Q4. I met my husband Q2 the following year. So it's not that it didn't happen, it just didn't happen in that timeline. And I just kept saying it. I was like, prihasaivara, prihasaivara, here's what I'm doing, here's how I'm doing it. And I would create all these things. And I did get a lot of feedback, like, not a lot, I won't say a lot, like my best friend was one. And like from that, when it's people we love, what I found was they just do it out of love. Like it's just out of protection, just like anytime my my dad, I would be like, hey, I'm investing $30,000 into this mastermind and do these things. He's like, are you okay? Like, that's the thing. That's his own way of saying, hey, I love you so much, I don't want you to get hurt. And that's his own interpretation, so that's his fears. And I have to see it as love. It's me to do that work versus like, no one believes in me. It's like, that's not what he's saying at all. It's just people care. Same with my husband. He still does it. Like, I'm like, hey, I'm gonna invest this much money in mastermind. He's We've gotten to the point where he's like, just don't tell me, just don't tell me what you're doing anymore. Like, we're good, we'll figure it out. Yeah, just do it, just figure it out. Um, and so it's that type of thing where it's like, it's always out of love. And then for anyone on the internet, yeah, I got some pushback where they're like, who are you to talk about relationships? You're not even in one. And one, keep commenting, you're boosting my algorithm. Two, my feedback on that is, wouldn't you want someone that's actually in the dating field versus someone that's been married for 10 years and has no idea what the actual modern dating market is I'm teaching from real life experiences and what, what I know works and doesn't work. Because I was successful at dating, I had a lot of fun. I had this whole like grieving process when I finally did get married because I was like, that was such a good time, like I really enjoyed it. And that was the point of dating. I wasn't teaching marriage, like that wasn't it. It's just where we're putting our timelines and our things like that. And so in all of that, it's, you know, kind of just flipping the script on what it is. You don't have to publicly declare it, but as you were talking, actually as I'm talking out loud, can you tell them a a verbal processor. Yes, it's my Human Design. Um, one of the things, like, women are— our biggest fear is disappointment, right? So that's a lot of the reasons why we don't broadcast a lot of our stuff, because if I do it, then I'm disappointed, and then I have to deal with the disappointment. Or you just do it and you realize, I would be disappointed if I didn't put myself in this higher standard. And I've seen that too much in my lifetime to not put myself and take these risks. That's why I invest so much money. That's why I broadcast things. That's why I do these things, because it's like, I want to feel what the whole human experience is like, and I'd feel more disappointed if I didn't feel the whole human experience versus protecting my triggers and my fears. That, that to me, I can, I can handle that stuff. I can work through it. But I think that's kind of the elevated conversation we have to have with ourselves is like, where is this limited thinking or where is this protective thinking keeping me from actually achieving the dream that you ultimately want?

So good. And I also kind of love this idea that you touched on of like bringing people along the journey. Because especially when it comes to like content and like building a personal brand, that's obviously such a more like attractive thing to follow someone along on rather than just like all the, you know, authority content, conversion content, which also needs to be part of the ecosystem of like what you're doing online to make sales. But this idea that like you can fuse the uh, like amateur with the authority in the same sort of, like, way of, like, I'm experimenting with this, I'm setting this crazy goal for myself, I'm going on this journey, like, come along and, like, let's see what fucking happens. Like, that's very curiosity driving. It makes me invested more in you and, like, being your cheerleader and, like, wanting to see you win. It's fun to be able to watch you go along that process and not feel like you're just talking down to me or, like, telling me what I need to do better, but I'm actually watching you rise. And in watching you rise, it makes me want to rise, which inadvertently sort of like makes you an authority to me anyways. So I think a lot of people are concerned about like, I need to be the absolute expert on everything that I talk about, and I, and I really need to be this like authority figure. But I love how what you're speaking to here, if in this journey of how you've built all of these brands, is really that like, come with me, watch this process, be a part of this journey, because it builds relationships, it creates community, it gets people invested in you journey and the outcome. And weirdly enough, also kind of makes you an authority to them, which is so fucking cool.

It's one of the— like, it's, it's— I mean, this is why storytelling is so important in sales. It's not just doing the hard sale. Hey, this is what I know because I did something and I went to school for something. It's like, no, I actually went to the school of life and I learned these things, and I have all of now these digital assets that showcase that I did this. This is— so the reason one of these things that I got into is because I started to study why do people love reality TV so much? Why do people love YouTube series so much? Because you're invested in what the outcome is. You're invested in all these things. And even as you're— say it's reality TV— it's impacting the way you're showing up in the world. It's impacting the way you see relationships. It's impacting the way you think what is right and wrong. And you're so invested in it. And so it's like, how can you actually create your content, your story, in that way that still gives you something I call authentic authority, right? I'm showing you that I'm still on a growth journey. Because I don't know about you, but any mentor I'm, I'm invested in, you better be fucking growing your ass, just like my husband better be. Like, I'm not gonna marry your ass if you're just staying the same. Like, I don't want to do that just because one version of you. I married it. No thank you. Like, with mentorship, it's the same thing. It's like, hey, I, I understand you achieved these things and you did these things. Great, cool. What's the next step? And it gives you that sense of like, just like you were saying, hey, I, I believe in this and I'm inspired by it, and I feel like I should be doing something bigger too. Like, that's the whole thing. It's not just, hey, I now learned something. It's, ooh, I'm expanded to go do something really absolutely psychotic because this is making me expanded and to do things. And that's the whole thing, is just like paying attention to what's the story that you can tell that's expanding your audience, but not putting you— how I describe it as like, I don't want to be your mom, that you're like, okay, I just listen to the authority, but I have no connection with you. I want to be your big sister where like you're still a little intimidated by me, right? Like my little sister, she's, she's intimidated by me, but she asks me for advice, but I'm not coming and spilling the beans to her and crying to her about my entire life. No, I'm, I'm sharing lessons with her that I've gone through, and then she comes to me and she trusts me and she invests her time and her energy and she's She's like my biggest podcast fan and like all of the things. And that's how I want to be with my audience, where it's not so I'm so untouchable and this is— do all these things that I've learned from, but I'm not going to give you too much information on this stuff. It's like, oh, you can see the different elements of the actual human experience that you can relate to, maybe at a different level, but you can still relate to it. So then you can— again, soft savage— like you can still relate and then you tap into your savage.

So, so good. Love the analogy of the difference between like the motherly figure, or I guess like pedestaling someone and believing that they have all the answers, versus the big sister kind of vibe, which is like, I still like fuck with you, like we still can kind of like joke and have fun and hang out, and like I know that you're imperfect, but like at the same time like I low-key like respect the hell out of you, and I'm like, wait, teach me your ways, I want to be you.

Exactly.

So good, so good. Okay, let's close with just Um, one piece of advice that you would give to anyone listening who's like, I really want to take this and run with it and embody my soft savage— like, what's, uh, like a tangible thing that they could start doing to embody that more?

First would be self-auditing. Where are you not that? Like, you can't go anywhere without looking at yourself of like, oh, I actually do have a bit of a trauma bond and like a wounded savage, as I would say. Or where am I a little bit too soft. The— more so than anything, I think a lot of people need to audit themselves to see you can actually be going a lot harder than you're saying. Like, oh, I don't have time. Oh, I don't have resources. I don't have this. Like, not an excuse. I'm sorry. Like, and the analogy is, if, if someone out there had the key— I think about this with like my mom. My mom passed away from addiction when I was 22. If someone had the cure to addiction, I'm sure AA, things like that, sure, like they exist, but Like, didn't work. But like, if it was a magical pill on this planet that was like, hey, if you have— if, if you have this amount of money to save your mom, will you do it? I would. What would I do? I would go and find any fucking place to make money in order to get that pill in order to save her life. Of course, that's how you should be treating the thing that you love most in this world. And so to say, hey, I'm giving it my all, am I doing my thing? There's another, another level of savage you can you can always be tapping into if you actually looked at it like life or death and started treating it as such. And that puts your soft going, hmm, how can you actually put your whole heart into it? Not just the savage, but actually letting yourself intentionally feel every single aspect of building something you love so much and are so driven to. That's where I would say is starting point, is like being honest with yourself that you're probably not there. And then what's your next step? Is do that. Like, what is the next savage thing that you can do with your whole heart?

So, so good. I think we always find out at some point that we could be giving so much more. I talked about this recently, and I'm sure you're feeling this now with like the early pregnancy and the baby in the NICU. You're like, oh damn, like I'm finding time where I thought there was none. Like, I was talking about this recently with planning my wedding. I'm like, I had this whole, you know, big year in business planned, creating all these new things, like like doing so much in so much mentorship, like learning, upskilling, doing all these things. And then I got engaged and I was like, well, we're planning an international wedding now. And that just like took over. And I was like, wow, it's crazy, but you find the fucking time when something is important to you. When, like you said, it feels like it's like life or death, or it really is a priority, let's say, you will find the time. And so I think that's a, a really amazing piece of advice is for people to audit and you know, am I actually— when I say like, I'm trying so hard, I'm like giving all my effort, are you? Are you really? Or could you dig a little bit deeper? And is there, is there something more for you to give if you really had to? Oh my God, so, so good. Thank you so much for coming on the show, Laura. Can you, uh, tell everyone where they can find you, hang out with you, work with you?

Yeah, come hang out over on Instagram. My Instagram is @itslaurapatriciamartin, so I-T-S Laura Patricia Martin. And come hang out. I love to hear from you guys, like whenever you listen to a podcast just like send a message or something, because it's always so weird doing podcasts because you're like, well, I see the numbers, there's thousands of people, but like, who are you guys? And so just come send us— send a message and we'll say hi.

Yeah, let us know if you guys listened, if you enjoyed this episode. Shoot a message to Laura or myself, take a screenshot, share to your Instagram stories, tag us that we can see you guys are tuning in and that you loved it. Thank you so much for coming on, Laura. We will link all of her stuff in the show notes for you guys that you can connect with her and go see all the amazing work that she's doing. The brand that she's building, and the baby that she's growing. We can't wait until it's ready for, you know, it's time for that baby to come home.

Yay! We'll be rooting for you. Yes, I know.

Okay, you guys, thank you so much for tuning in. We love you, and we'll talk to you next week.

Bye!

If you loved this episode, make sure to check out the show notes where I've linked a few similar episodes I know you're also going to love. You'll find them under the similar episode section in the description down below with direct links so you can dive in and start listening right away, or add them to your queue for later. Binge away for even more growth, expansion, abundance, and fire motivation.