Entering Your Villain Era

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You're welcome.

Welcome to the Makeshift Happen podcast. I'm your host, Samantha Daly. Entrepreneur, life coach, and your no BS bestie here to bring you all things mindset, manifestation, and personal development. This podcast is designed to help you expand your mind and uplevel your life. So turn the volume up and roll the windows down if you're coming along for the ride. Let's go make shift happen.

What's up, guys? Welcome back to the podcast. I'm so excited that you are here. Thank you for tuning in and listening. As always, I'm looking forward to this episode because this is an idea, a concept that I came up with, and then I did a little bit of research to help develop my perspective on it and my idea a little bit further. But I really want to talk about this trend of like being in your villain era. Right. This is something that started by, like, from Gen Zers. I'm sure it's like a TikTok thing, people talking about how they're in their villain era. And so I want to bring this to the podcast and kind of look at it through the lens of personal development and what it actually means, how we can adopt it or step into it, and why it's beneficial or going to be beneficial for a lot of us. So I felt like this was also a really good time to do the Villain Era podcast because we are just a couple days away from Scorpio season, which it's spooky season. Like, I just feel like there's so much imagery that comes along with Halloween and Scorpio season and all of that that really plays into this energy of being in your villain era, right? Some ways to describe Scorpio energy is obviously intense. They're very intense, uncompromising. They have so much depth. Uh, there's a lot of sexual and sensual energy. They are kind of like discreetly glamorous. Their trust is really earned, not just given away freely. There's these elements of kind of spirituality or witchiness and superstition, intuition. They're also really fiercely loyal, passionate, tenacious, determined. Some shadow sides in there is there can also be jealousy or secrecy. But when you look at like the energy of Scorpio season, I just feel like it's so perfect to talk about this idea of stepping into our villain era. So being in your villain era, if you guys are not like following this trend or you're not familiar with what it means, It's actually a lot more positive than what it seems like, right? You're like, oh, you're going to start, you know, acting like the villain of your story. And yes, in a way. But the reason that it's called being in your villain era, quote unquote, is because it's based on the idea of how other people might perceive you, how you might be perceived by others. When you start prioritizing yourself, when you start going, oh, I'm actually my number one priority and I need to get my needs met and what I care about is really important and I'm going to put myself first and I'm going to set boundaries and all these other things that we're going to talk about, right? What is the perception that other people might have of you when you actually start to do that, when you actually start to take care of yourself, when you actually start to be selfish, but in a self-care way so that you can fill your cup and come back to what's true for you and how you actually want to show up in the world, right? Because there's always a potential consequence of owning who you are, communicating your needs, asking for what you want, being unapologetic in your expression, pursuing the things that are on your heart regardless of what everybody else says or thinks or what other people in your life may advise you. That's a good idea or a bad idea, right? There's always a risk of other people looking at that and not approving of it, or then creating a story about what that means about you, or having an opinion about who you are now because you believe in such thing, or because you reposted X, or because you talk about this on your social media, or whatever it is, right? So it's the reason it's called being in your villain era is because there are some people that, you know, you might be like the villain in their story in some way by not allowing them to always walk all over you or to have 100% access to you all the time or to continue to cross boundaries with you. Right. And so I think it's— this is— we've talked about this on the podcast before. About, you know, the true cost of alignment. That was an episode that really resonated with so many of you because we talked, we spoke about, you know, what, what actually happens in your life, what are the negatives, what are the consequences that end up happening when you become your true self, and you actually start owning that and you pursue your passions and you deviate from the path and you say what you mean, and all of those things. And So there may be these potential consequences that come out of it, but ultimately it's all serving you because it's a journey of you then becoming who you want to be instead of continuing in this pattern of trying to be what everybody else wants you to be, right? It's actually the pursuit of your highest alignment. And so the things that fall away, they fall away. The people that judge you, they judge you. But ultimately, at least you're getting closer to the version of you that you actually want to be, right? So let's talk about what it actually means to be in your villain era and how we can all kind of like step into that collectively together. And this is so relevant, especially for women, because there's so many of us that are still recovering people pleasers and we have these tendencies of, you know, just doing what everybody else wants to do. We're trying to pacify situations and not rock the boat and all of, all of that patterning that we still live with and are trying to break down little by little. And so being in your villain era is really about shedding that conditioning and just like owning who the fuck you are, what you want, what you need, and being very outward and frank about that. So one of the things that I think is important and that I put a little asterisk next to for me is reclaiming your time. And I know a lot of us, I mean, I think in that nobody has 100% control over all of their time, right? Because whether you are, you know, someone who's in a relationship, or you have children, or you have a job, or whatever it is, there are elements to our lives where we're not going to have full control of our time. But I think there are places where we do have control of our time and we're just letting it be run by subconscious programming. And for me, I've noticed recently that my time with my phone has really started to like piss me off. Like I said to Jaime the other day, I'm like, my phone is ruining my life. I literally hate how we start and finish our day with the phone a lot of times. And I know, and I've experienced this in my own life and during different seasons where I've had certain rules with my phone where I'm like, I'm not going to go on it for the first hour of the day and then, you know, turn it off at X time before we go to bed. But things are always like ebbing and flowing, you know, and life throws curveballs and you get into bad habits again. Then you have to like reclaim your time and pull yourself back out. And so for me, this is like a huge one, reclaiming your time in terms of just being stricter and more disciplined with myself, more devoted to the version of me that I want to become in saying, no, we're not spending our time doing this. We're not spending an hour here just scrolling through Reels or TikToks and wasting my life. Like, I'm going to put the phone down, I'm going to grab my headphones, I'm going to go for a walk, I'm going to go sit in the sauna, I'm going to go do something, I'm going to take myself to the beach, I'm going to go read my book. Like, there's so many things that we want to do and we're not doing them, not because we don't have time, but that will be the story that we tell ourselves always is that I don't have time and I have to catch myself out on this lie too of I don't have time. I wish I had time to just do this. Bitch, you have time. Okay? Especially if you're someone that works from home or works for yourself and is your own boss and you've created this like luxury of a situation to actually have control over almost all of your time. Like, I'm sick of the excuse for myself of like, I don't have time, I don't have time. Like, fucking make time. Okay? And so that's part of me stepping into my villain era is actually being willing to kind of be the bad guy to myself for my own growth and my own mental health. And I think like being the bad guy for, for your own growth and your mental health can be applied across so many different areas. But it's an interesting concept to think about. So I want you guys to think about like, what would it look like to be the bad guy in order for you to help yourself grow more, to help yourself be more fulfilled, to help yourself be happier, ultimately to help support your mental health? Where do you need to step in and be the villain or be the bad guy, even if it's to yourself, so that you can get where you want to go? And for me, this is boundaries with myself and boundaries with my time, boundaries with my phone, boundaries with social media, just Cutting the fucking bullshit. Because to be honest, there's a lot of— there's a lot of my time that gets wasted on stupid things that are not important, that aren't actually priorities to me, that aren't producing results, results that aren't making me feel better, that aren't making me happier. Cut the bullshit. And this may apply to some other people in terms of being the bad guy for the purpose of your own growth and mental health. In boundaries with others and really cutting the bullshit in terms of not talking to people that consistently bring you down, not trying to explain your dreams or your thought processes or your beliefs to people that are committed to misunderstanding you, to not going into places or events or parties or social situations where, you know, you're just going to feel bad about yourself when you leave. It's having actual boundaries, being able to say no, right? And also being able to be honest, even when it's easier to just fib or fake it or make up a lie or an excuse of some kind so that you don't have to be fully honest. Like, be honest. When your friend says something that hurts your feelings or feels offensive to you, don't just swallow it and be like, oh, she didn't mean it. Like, why can we not have open, honest communication? Why can we not say, you know, that really hurt my feelings the other day when you said this, and I just wanted to unpack it with you and share with you how I was actually feeling.

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We have to be willing to be the quote unquote bad guy in, in ways that it ultimately is going to serve our own growth and mental health. This doesn't mean going out on the street and being like, your outfit sucks, fuck you, to like a random person on the street, right? Being the bad guy, meaning being a little bit firmer with your boundaries, your boundaries with yourself and your time, and your boundaries with others and who you allow into your energy field and who you allow to impact your day or your mood, and not putting yourself in situations that you know are going to make you feel bad or sabotage your growth. So reclaiming time and being the bad guy are two big ones for me. You know, some other ways that we can kind of describe what it means to be in the villain era is this idea of kind of defying or going against societal norms or expectations in whatever that means to you, whether it's like quitting your job or pursuing something that you're passionate about or owning the fact that you are in a network marketing company, even though so many people judge them and say that they're pyramid schemes. Or maybe it's your gender expression that you feel is a little bit taboo, or people don't understand it, or they don't get it. Or maybe it's your sexuality, whatever it is. But there's always some way where we feel like if, if there were no one— if there were no one watching us, if it wasn't like our lives were on display for the world, there would be a certain way that we would want to be. There would be a certain way that we would want to express ourselves. There would be a certain way that we would want to live our lives if we didn't feel like there were spectators, if we didn't feel like there was an audience to what we were doing or how we were feeling or what we were saying. And those places are the places where you have an opportunity to defy the societal norms and expectations for who you need to be in order to be considered successful, or in order to be considered a good girl or a nice girl. Or in order to be considered smart or doing the right thing, whatever that means, right? Maybe it's your parents who really have a constructed idea of what it means to be on a good path in life, whatever that means to them. And there are just some parts of that that you do not resonate with or you do not agree with. And at some point in your life, you have got to find the courage to go against the grain. You've got to find the courage to do you, because if you don't, you will never be truly happy. And that's just— that is just a fact of this world. If you cannot find a way to own who you are, what you think and believe, and how you feel, you will never— I don't think you'll ever reach a true sense of fulfillment and happiness because there will always be a piece of you that you're trying to hide or suppress or just keep to yourself because it's, it's not good enough for other people, or it's not what they want to see, or it's not what they want to hear, right? And so we're taking these— we're breaking ourselves up into these little fragments, and we're taking those fragments of ourselves, and some of them we're sharing with the world because we know that they'll accept it. And then other ones, we're taking it, we're putting it in a shoebox, and we're hiding it under the bed. And this is how you create shadows, right? This is where your shadows are created— things that you feel are not good enough, or that are shameful, or that people won't agree with, or that people won't understand. You take that piece of yourself and you shut it down, and you try to shove it in a box under the bed so that no one will ever find out about it. But it's there, and it's with you every single night when you sleep, and it eating away at your fucking soul. So you, at some point in your life, you may not be at that place yet, but at some point in your life, you're going to have to find the courage to defy the norms and expectations that you disagree with. And this is an— this is kind of part of embracing your dark side, right? Which is a beautiful way of kind of looking at this energy of Scorpio season and stepping into your villain era, it's like embracing your dark side or embracing your shadow side. Maybe the things about you that you haven't even accepted about yourself yet, or that you think that other people won't be able to fully accept or be supportive of or love about you or be excited for you about, to bring those things out of the shadows and just embrace them. Embracing that darker side, that shadow side of your existence and who you are in this world. Another one is communicating your needs, because so many of us are really afraid of telling the people that we love in our lives what we need from them, or when we need support, or if we need to see a change in some way. You know, in relationships, sometimes it's about communicating your needs and saying, I really, I really need this from you. It would mean a lot for me, for me, if you could do this for me, or by you showing up in this way, or by you doing these things, it would make me feel X, whatever it is. But like, the communication of needs is something that I think women really have to be willing to own a lot more. And that's part of like stepping into your villain era is saying, you know what, I need this. And maybe it's the fact that like you need a day away from your partner and that makes you feel like a villain because you're like, oh, they're going to think I'm such a bad person that I, that I, that I don't want to spend time with them. But it's like, no, that's what you need to fill your cup is you need alone time. You need a day where you don't need to be texting them all the time or you don't need to be hanging out or— and you're just with yourself, spending time with yourself. There's an example. A huge theme of the villain era is to let go of the people pleasing, right? I think that's like the whole kind of like basis of this concept is to stop being a people pleaser. And we all know about people pleasing. I think most of us are probably guilty I like to say I'm a recovering people pleaser because I definitely have had some people pleasing tendencies in my life. But also I've always just kind of been the person that like puts a big middle finger up and is like, nah, man, like, I'm going to— you're going that way, I'm going to go that way. Or like you said, X, I'm going to say Y. Like, I do have this total, like, rebel side of my personality, which I love, I love that. So there's of course like ways that society has taught me that it's safer to be a people pleaser. And I think, you know, if you're thinking about this for yourself, it's like, where are you finding safety in making others happy before you make yourself happy? And that's a good indication of where to start dismantling the patterns of people pleasing. Okay, so another one that I have written down here is to stop feeling the need to play nice or to be the good girl all of the time. I don't care what anybody says. I think the good girl archetype is just so out, like it's so out of style. We need to burn it to the ground. It's just, I'm over it, you know. So many of us are stuck doing things because we think that it makes us a nice person or a good person or a good girl. And it's just ruining our own internal sense of self, of authenticity, and of freedom. And so by, by letting go of this notion that you need to like play nice all the time or always be the good girl, we are able to actually prioritize ourselves and put our needs, wants, and desires at the forefront of what we do. And this doesn't mean disregarding everybody else and being a bitch to everybody in your life and not giving an eff about anyone else or what they need and not being supportive. But there's a difference between being able to be genuinely supportive for a friend in your life and always being the most supportive person in your circle, even when you have no bandwidth to provide support. Because one is coming from a genuine place of love and overflow, and the other one is coming from a place of obligation and resentment. And so if we can stop needing to be nice all the time or play nice or be the good girl, we can actually reserve time to fill up our own cup, to prioritize ourself, our own needs, our own wants, our own desires, what we want to pursue in life, how we want to spend our time without asking everybody else permission first of, well, what do you want to do and where do you want to go? And sure, I'll do whatever. And yes, sounds fine. Like, I'll do that. Like, no, have an opinion. Oh my gosh, I just had a flash of a memory of my mom when I was younger. I had this friend who she would all the time, she would just say, I don't care, I don't care, I don't know, whatever you want, I don't care. And my mom would tell me, she's like, you need to have an opinion. And she would tell me about this friend, like, she never has an opinion. And it's not a good way to be in life. Like, you need to know what you want and own it. And I love that. I love that I just remembered that because that was such a beautiful message that my mom shared with me. And then now I get to share with you. It's like, have a fucking opinion, okay? If you don't like something, or if you don't want to go somewhere, or it's not the vibe for you, or you prefer to rest, or you want to be alone, or whatever it is, own it. Own it. You don't need to sacrifice yourself to preserve other people's comfort. You are allowed to make other people uncomfortable. You are allowed to make other people go, oh, oh my gosh, like, okay, Well, I didn't know, like, whatever. You are allowed to get a reaction out of somebody else that is not always positive all the time. Because if everybody's reaction around you and what you want to do and your opinions and your feelings and all of that all the time is always positive, it probably means that you're A, not really being true to yourself, not being fully authentic, or B, you've already been through your villain era and you've made some cuts to the roster and everybody in your life is now just respecting of who you are, your authentic truth, your needs, your boundaries, and all of that. Those are the two scenarios, right? But this is a really important one for you guys to think about just in your own life. Where am I playing nice or trying to be the good girl to preserve other people's comfort? And how can I step outside of that? That, you know. And sometimes we get confused because we're doing things that seem like it's the good person thing to do, right? If someone asks you to go with them to something or to help them on a work project, or, hey, can you— I'm so busy, can you do this, or can you take over this for me? Or your boss wants to add something to your calendar and you're like, okay, but it would— you know, it's like, that's the good girl thing to do is to say yes, and it's gonna help this other person and they need me to do it. And All of that gets in the way and clouds your judgment of what you need. And so we end up thinking that by abandoning ourselves, we are doing the right thing, we're doing the good thing, we're doing the nice thing, when in actuality, wouldn't it be nice if doing the good thing or doing the right thing or doing the nice thing was actually being good and kind and nice to yourself? Instead of putting yourself at the bottom of the barrel, at the bottom of the priorities list and saying, no, I'll just sacrifice my time. I'll just sacrifice my sleep. I'll just sacrifice my sanity. I'll just sacrifice everything so that you guys can have everything that you want and that you can be happy and I can service all of your needs. How is that nice? How is that good? It's not right. So flipping the script on that is a big one. And really stepping into this prioritization of self, not in a selfish way of like, I'm going to do whatever I want without any regard for anybody else or how it impacts people. Not, not at all. But in a self-care way of I'm going to prioritize myself in the ways that I know that I've been lacking taking care of me. Where have you been lacking taking care of yourself? And what are some things that need to come back to the, the top of the priorities list so that you can take better care of yourself, so that you can support yourself, so that you can sleep better at night, so that you can wake up feeling refreshed, so that you can enjoy your day, so that you can actually spend time with people and not feel resentful of that time because you need to be doing a million other things. But you said yes to the thing anyway, because how could you say no? Because that's the good girl thing to do. Right? Prioritizing yourself in terms of taking care of your needs. And maybe you need a break from social interactions or engagement, or maybe you're like, I've been a hermit for a while and I need to be a little bit more devoted to my relationships and my connections in this life so that I can feel fulfilled through spending time with people that I love. It goes both ways, always. So it's really just about you hearing this conversation and making little mental notes for yourself of what does that mean for me, right? Prioritizing myself, bringing back the things that I know I've been lacking that help me take care of me, that help me feel good. What does that look like for me on a personal level? That's what I want you to be thinking about when you listen to this. And part of that is being willing to say no to the things that don't align with that or that don't fit into that, or that rob you of your peace, or that rob you of free time.

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Or the things that, you know, you know, it, it would be— it would— you would seem like a good person to somebody else if you said yes, but you know that it's not actually going to serve you. It's going to create some resentment within you. It's— you're going to do it begrudgingly because you don't actually want to do it. It's going to create this sense of overwhelm because now you have too much on your plate, right? Actually just being honest with yourself about what do I need to say no to so that I can say yes to prioritizing taking care of me and my needs and the things that I've put on the back burner for too long. So I want to share a little bit about some ideas for how we can embrace our villain era. What does this actually mean? What does it look like? What are some things that we can start doing? Okay, so the funny thing is I saw an article online. I was kind of like looking up some stuff about being in your villain era and what it means to certain people or what other creators have shared or what kind of this trend really is. About in like a wider scope. And I came across this article that was titled How to Be in Your Villain Era Without Offending Anyone. And I'm laughing because this is like, this is the question that a total people pleaser who needs to be in their villain era would ask. Okay, but how do I do it without offending anybody? Right? And this article had like legitimate suggestions. It was like, be mean, but not too mean. And again, like being in your villain era is not about being mean. It's about taking care of you. It's about prioritizing you. But anyway, my response to this of how to, how to be in your villain era without offending anyone is don't. Just don't. Like, it's that, that's, if that's where you're going with this, then you missed the whole fucking point. Because the point is that you're going to offend some people. The point is that some people aren't going to like it. The point is that some people are going to be surprised by your boundaries or by you saying no, or or your true self-expression, or you pursuing your passions, or celebrating your successes, or whatever it is, people are going to have opinions and feelings and emotions about that, and they are entitled to do so. It's about not letting that stop us, not letting that be the thing that holds us back from actually pursuing our own highest fulfillment. And I just think my belief is truly that if you want to be palatable to everyone in your life or in the world, then along with that, you have to accept the fact that you are going to live a life of utter regret and discontentment when you get to the end. That's what it's going to be, is you're going to look back and you're going to be like, what the fuck? I lived for everybody else and I lived for me last. Nobody wants that. So if the question is how to be in your villain era without offending anyone, the answer is you don't. You saddle up the horse and you say, I'm courageous enough to turn some people off or to turn some people away from my life or to feel or sense or hear other people's opinions of me and to keep going anyway, because I know that it's of service to me and my highest good. Right? Being in your villain era is not about being mean. It's not about being rude. It's not about saying, well, I have a boundary and fuck you. There's a way to do all of this with love and kindness and compassion. It's not about being mean. It's about actually being the authority that you need for yourself. Because for so long you've let everybody else rule how you show up. You've let everybody else kind of take control of your time and your boundaries and how you feel on a daily basis. And you've kind of let the world and people in your life and the societal norms, like, walk all over you. And it's about going, no, I'm not a doormat anymore. This is what I need in order to serve myself, to be my best me, to be the happiest me, to be the truest, most authentic me. So I'm going to do it. By all means, whatever it takes, I'm going to do it. Even if people disagree, even if people don't like it, even if people have negative opinions, even if people judge me, even if people look at me weird, it does not matter what the reaction is that other people might have. I will move forth with prioritizing me and pursuing my deepest fulfillment. That's what being in your villain era is all about. Right? And there's, you know, the quote, the classic quote that's like, the only people who will be upset by your boundaries are the ones who benefited from you having none. And so there are going to be people when you prioritize yourself, when you pursue your highest alignment, when you bring your passions online and you start doing things that are maybe a little bit unconventional, or you share your opinions about the world or politics or your belief systems in general, or even manifestation and different things like that. Like there's going to be people that don't like it, and there will be people that fall away. And just reminding yourself and remembering that all of that is part of the plan, all of that is on purpose. And anybody who leaves your life because you decided to be your happiest, most authentic, truest self and honor your needs is somebody that you ultimately don't want in your life. And I know we hear this all the time and it's so cliché, but But I want you to hear this reminder today and actually take it to heart and consider what are the relationships and people in your life that you are continuing to entertain or allow them to make, make you feel bad about yourself or allow them to walk all over you or to rob you of your time and your energy and your knowledge and not getting anything back from that. You know, if you're a business owner, this also applies to oversharing or overgiving online. And maybe you've been giving way too much away for free. And now it feels like there's some resentment there of I deserve to be compensated for my knowledge, for my wisdom, for my heart, for my energy, for the transformation that I provide. Maybe it's if you work in a job and you're like, I'm sick of doing all these additional roles and adding on all this responsibility that I did not sign up to. When I agreed to this role because so-and-so quit, or they're making changes and now they want me to do 3 people's job and I'm just 1 person and they haven't changed my compensation. Actually standing up for yourself and going, what the fuck? What the actual fuck? This is not okay. I'm not a doormat. I'm not going to get walked all over like this. I'm going to set up a meeting with HR. I'm going to go in there. I'm going to ask some really important questions in a kind, calm manner, and I'm going to inquire about what my compensation may look like for the overload of responsibility that, that I've been given over the last 3 to 6 months or year or whatever it's been. These are like tangible examples of how to really stand up for yourself and prioritize what you need in order to be fulfilled. So ways to embrace your villain era, right? What we were just speaking about in the first one is to let relationships go that you've outgrown or that no longer feel reciprocal. This can be friendships, this can be romantic relationships. This, for some people listening to this, is even going to be family members. And it's very, very hard. Again, when we talk about this like good girl archetype or like what it means to be a good person, and the world has kind of told us like family is everything, family first, family above all. Well, what if one of your family members is extremely toxic or they've abused you emotionally, physically, sexually, whatever it is, you don't owe them them anything. You don't need to continue to have them in your life or to perpetuate the pain or the trauma or the overwhelm or the self-hatred that they bring upon you. You need to cut them out. You need to— it's like they say in the movie, in Mean Girls, right, which is so perfect for Halloween time, because I think in the movie, if I remember correctly, it was after the Halloween party when everything kind of blew up in Cady's face that she was like, I had to say sorry to everybody and I had to suck the poison out of my life. You have to suck the poison out of your life. You've got to be willing to let people go, that you've outgrown them. And maybe it's not this really dramatic or big or bad or negative thing that they did to you and, and you're still entertaining a relationship with them. Maybe it's just a friendship that you're like, this is taking up valuable real estate in my life, and I really want some more truly aligned feminine friendships to come into my life. And I know that I have to just let this friendship fade and let it go because we're in two different places in life, or we're on two different paths, or we don't see eye to eye in a lot of things anymore. We're just— this is not as reciprocal as it used to be. I feel like I'm always the person reaching out, or I'm always the person trying to call or make arrangements, or whatever it is, like, let people go. For goodness sakes, let people go. Just let them go. It's part of your healing. It's part of your evolution. It's part of your transformation. It's part of better and more aligned things being able to come into your life. Let them go. The next thing is to say no to invitations for things that you don't want to attend. Without faking that you're not feeling well or whatever, right? Like, actually just say, you know, I'm really feeling like a day at home with my family today, or thank you so much for the invitation, but I really need some alone time and I'm just going to do some things on my own today to fill my cup. Like, we're allowed to say no without having to lie about why we don't want to go or why we can't be there. Another one is to turn your personality up a notch. Because I think we all, underneath the version of us that we share to the external world or to our coworkers or to, you know, people, strangers, the internet, Instagram, whatever, there is a hidden layer of our personality that is reserved for only the people that are closest to us. And that's a beautiful thing. And it's not about just, you know, that you have to be that version of yourself with everyone in your life. Of course, like, I'm glad that my bosses in my life never saw some parts, some weird goofy parts of my personality, because it would just be inappropriate, right? But there's always an opportunity for us to turn our personality up a notch where we feel safe and expanded to do so. So for me, this is like things that I would do in my house that maybe I wouldn't do as much around other people is like singing out loud. I sing all the time. Dancing, dancing around, just randomly twerking, like sitting in weird positions. I always put my leg up on the countertop like I'm straddling the counter. Not for any reason other than the fact that for some reason it's so comfortable to me. And I've always done that. And I think it has something to do with like being a dancer or a gymnast when I was younger, because I know other girls that have done that were in those spaces that do that too. But like things like that that are just like weird and goofy and things of your personality that maybe other people don't get to see, or just being your weird self in spaces where you normally wouldn't. And maybe saying something that you normally would hold back on, or just being overall unapologetic, right? And just owning your weird and being goofy and being funny and different and emotional and whatever it is that you maybe have some shame around, or you're like, other people would think that's weird, or they wouldn't like that, or that would make other people uncomfortable. Like, do it anyway. Experiment with it just like in small ways, you know? The next one is to celebrate yourself and hype up your wins. Like we talked about, it's so important to be able to celebrate yourself, like hype yourself up. That is so amazing that you hit that goal or that you did that thing or that you took that risk. Like share about it, post about it on social media if you want to. I do this all the time. I'm like, hey, this is so amazing. The business just hit a huge milestone. Or oh my gosh, we have this many downloads on the podcast. Or I'm so excited about all these women in my program. Like, celebrate yourself. And it doesn't have to be just the standard things that people— that you think the world is accepting of, or that is worthy of the celebration. Like, celebrate the small stuff too. Celebrate the stuff that other people aren't shouting from the mountaintops or aren't celebrating. Be the person to do it, to give other people the permission to say, hey, it's cool to celebrate yourself for going to therapy. It's cool to celebrate yourself for setting a really hard boundary. It's cool to celebrate yourself for going outside of your comfort zone and starting a business. It's cool to celebrate yourself for quitting a job that was sucking the life out of you. Celebrate yourself, hype yourself up. It's really important. Okay, the next one is when people have opinions that are opposite to you or just different from you in some way. To not just simply stay quiet about it because you don't want to rock the boat and to actually share what you think, share your opinion and own it. That's the most important thing. Share your opinion and just fucking own it. Honestly, like, have an opinion. If people are talking about something and you're thinking in your head like, I kind of disagree with that, like, I would probably say it differently, or I think about it a different way, and you're just not going to say anything. Because you're like, I don't want to be the odd one out or the weird one, say it, share it, see what happens, play with it, be in your villain era, right? Making your interests, passions, and hobbies something that's at the top of your priority list. So making time in your schedule and in your life to go to a dance class, to go to a new yoga studio or try something different. Or if you like love painting or doing something creative, to actually like set something up in your house that allows you to do that more, like invest money in your hobbies or passions, like act like it's important, you know, maybe you— there's like some sort of like sport or something or activity that you love doing, but you don't have your own equipment for it, or you don't have your own space for it, or there's something that you would really love to have that relates to it that would make it so much better for you, but you don't spend the money on it because you're like, oh, you know, I can't spend that money on myself. Do it. Spend the money on yourself. Your passions and your hobbies and your interests are so important. They're such an integral part of you feeling happy and fulfilled in your life. It's not a waste of money to invest in those kinds of things and to make the time in your calendar. That's so, so important. Another one is to make weekend plans without asking your partner if you're in a relationship, what they're doing first. Now, if you have children together or separately, but if you're raising humans together, I think that it is kind and it's important to communicate where you're going to be and what you're going to be doing and not just abandoning your partner with the responsibility of children or a pet or something else that's going on. There's parameters to this. Okay, let's not take this out of context. Let's be smart. You know what I'm saying? Right. But this is an interesting one for me because if one of my friends asked me to do something, a pattern of mine was always to then ask my partner, what are you doing this weekend? Do you have any plans? Like, are you hanging out with any friends? Like, what are you doing? And then kind of coordinating with my friend around what my partner had going on. So if he was like doing something on Saturday, I'm like, okay, well then I can do something on Saturday. Or if they had no plans, then I'd be like, well, I want to be with you. And like, if that's your true desire, like, that's fine. But you get what I'm saying, right? Is I kind of had to get out of this mindset of like always referencing what my partner wanted to do or what their schedule already was to inform my own schedule or what I wanted to do. And so So that was a big, like, liberating thing for me was just making plans and then letting him know and saying, hey, just so you know, on Saturday I'm going to go to the beach and I'm going to hang out with my girlfriends for a while or do whatever it is, right? So take that with a grain of salt, you know, like, let's not take it out of context. But I think if you've been in a similar pattern in your life, to play with that is really, really powerful. What else do we have? Ooh, okay. Wearing the outfit that you really want to wear, but you think that it might be a bit too much, or that's kind of like outside of the bounds of what everyone else is probably going to be wearing. And just like saying fuck it and just wearing it, you know, like doing the thing, like being your bold self, owning it, or even like changing your hair color to something that you've wanted to try for so long, but you're afraid and it's kind of like a little unconventional or it's different for you and you're like worried that people won't like you as much as a brunette as they did as a blonde or whatever it is. And it's like, why are we doing things for everybody else? Like, just do some stuff for yourself. Wear the outfit that you think is going to be a little too loud or a little too much. Like, just do it. Just wear it. Go for it. Try a new— like, if you like to get your nails done, try a new nail style. I recently got my nails done. I got acrylics and I got dark brown, and I would have never really considered getting this color because I would have been worried, like, that's a little like, I don't know, are people going to think that's weird or is it going to be too dark? I really like nudes and like French tip with different colors. And I just wanted to do something that was like really out of the box for me and just so different. And I'm like, fuck it, I'm owning it. Brown nails. Like, I don't know many people that rock brown nails, but like, hey, I'm doing it and I really like it. I think it actually really complements the color of like my hair and my eyebrows and my eyes. And I don't know, it goes with the whole villain vibe, like having these like dark, long nails. It's like like, ooh, Scorpio season, fall vibes. Like, it's really just hitting for me. So anyway, hopefully that inspired you in some way to do something a little outside the box in terms of like your self-expression or your image or fashion or whatever it is. And another one, if people don't want to do certain plans with you, or they can't go for whatever reason, they're busy or whatever, just go on your own. Like, if someone's like, oh no, I can't, then don't miss out on something that you are wanting to do just because someone can't go with you. Go by yourself or find somebody else to go with. And then not feeling guilty of like, oh, but like, I invited that other friend. Well, she can't go, so you could go another time with her, you know? But like, doing things that you want to do So that's the main story, is do things that you want to do. Make yourself happy. Because we spend so much of our lives trying to make everybody else happy. And now it's time to enter your villain era where you're like, hey, I'm important. My happiness is relevant. I'm going to do what makes me happy. I'm going to prioritize me. I'm going to say no to all the things that are draining me and sucking the life out of me and making me feel bad about myself and that I just genuinely don't want to do, and I don't give a fuck about, I'm gonna say no to them. Oh my God, what a revolutionary idea. And I'm gonna say yes to the things that actually feel like a soul body. Yes. Like, oh my God, yes, I really want to do that. Okay, I'm gonna go do it. And instead of letting my patterns take over, I'm gonna have boundaries with myself. And so when I say I would love to work out in the mornings, and then go to the sauna or go to the beach or do a cold plunge, instead of getting sucked into the trap of being on my phone and scrolling through Instagram or or TikTok, I'm gonna have boundaries with myself and I'm gonna be the bad guy with myself so that I can pursue my own growth and fulfillment. And I'm gonna say, no, I'm not doing that. I'm not going back to that pattern. I'm not gonna just sit on my phone all day or eat whatever I want and have no regard for my health or keep procrastinating movement or not go and take myself out for a walk. I am going to do the things that I know are going to make me better and are going to make me feel better. And at the end of the day are ultimately going to allow me to lay down, put my head on the pillow and go, you know what? Today was a really great day because I prioritized me. All right, you guys, I hope you enjoyed this episode. If you did, please take a screenshot, share it to your Instagram stories, tag me at Samantha Daily and at Makeshift Happens. Podcast. As always, I'm so grateful for you guys tuning in and listening every single week. This podcast would be nothing without you. So I really, really appreciate you. I love you. And I'll talk to you guys soon. Bye.