F%k the Soft Girl Era: The Mindset Shifts That Build Real Wealth and 1% Success

Do you want to know the ritual that my most magnetic clients never skip?

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What's up, you guys?

Welcome back to the podcast. Oof, do we have a spicy episode for you this week. Okay, don't shoot the messenger, just hear us out. Maybe you don't need a soft girl era. Maybe you just need a reset, some self-respect, and the guts and grit to go after the life that you actually want. Today's guest is Michaela Jay, mindset mentor, manifestation queen, who's built a wildly successful personal brand and a top podcast with over 4 million downloads, all built on grit, vision, and real energetic alignment. From growing up poor while her dad was in prison and dropping out of school to luxury cars, first-class flights, and scaling a business to multi-six figures fast, she's living proof that you can rewrite your entire reality. But if you're stuck in victim mode, burnt out on all of the just be positive advice or starting to wonder why manifestation isn't working the way that it used to, this is going to be your wake-up call. In this conversation, we go deep on the brutal truth behind building wealth when all the odds seem to be stacked against you and what staying in that stuck girl energy is actually costing you. How to rewire your mindset from survival mode to scalable success. What to do when hitting those really big goals that you once had actually stops feeling so exciting. And the unfiltered truth about healing, hustle culture, and spiritual junkies in 2025. As always with Michaela, this one is going to be a slap in the face just the way we like it. All right, you guys, let's get into it. Welcome to the Makeshift Happen podcast. I'm your host, Samantha Daly, entrepreneur, life coach, and your no BS bestie, here to bring you all things mindset, manifestation, and personal development. This podcast is designed to to help you expand your mind and uplevel your life. So turn the volume up and roll the windows down if you're coming along for the ride. Let's go make shift happen.

Okay.

Welcome to the show, Michaela. Welcome back. We're in person.

We're in Austin.

I'm so excited to see you. The last time I saw you in person, we got tattooed. Toes together.

We did. How iconic. I love that for us. And we didn't even know we were gonna meet. Like, that's the best part. I just hear Michaela, and I'm like, I know, like a small Sam approaching. And I'm like, oh my God, finally.

I just turned around at this event and saw you and was like, oh my God, hi, what are you doing here?

I don't know how we didn't like coordinate that or like think to ask the other— like, I, I should have just assumed because you go to like every in-person event, I feel like.

Well, it was in Miami, so I mean, it made sense for me to be there, but I think that's why I was like guys to see you, but that was fun. And then we were like, should we get a tattoo? Let's get a tattoo.

And we got a tattoo. How did yours heal?

Good. So good. My little 777 on my arm. You got your little angel, I think it was.

I got the knife. Angel I got in Europe.

Oh yeah, you had just like gotten that one recently.

So I got the little baby knife, which is so fitting for me. Yeah. And it healed surprisingly well. I like left on the sticky stuff for way too long, and then I thought it was gonna like disintegrate into my skin, but No, mine was good.

It turned out really good, which I sometimes am skeptical of the fine line. And getting a tattoo at an event too is like, you never know.

You never know. Yeah. Yeah. But we didn't get a skin disease.

But I just feel like that was very much like our energy. We met in person for the first time and we're like, let's get a tattoo.

Let's do it.

Let's do it. So welcome back to the show. I'm so excited to have you here. I feel like the knife is some foreshadowing for the energy that's going to be brought to this episode. So I love that. But I first kind of want to start by giving some context to your journey as an entrepreneur, as a content creator, as, you know, someone who works in the coaching space and has mentored many people at this point. I think when I think about what I know about you and like your journey and how you grew up, I think I would say like, statistically speaking, you probably shouldn't be a 7-figure business owner. Yeah, you probably shouldn't be driving around luxury cars, having a top podcast. Like all these things don't necessarily make sense when you look at how your life started. Mm-hmm. So can you give some context to the listeners for what the come up was like? 'Cause the odds were stacked against you.

Yeah.

And yet here you are. But that's the beauty of your work. 'Cause you teach so much about mindset and manifestation and doing the work and really being the creator of your reality and the ability that you have to fully radically change your life. And you are your own best testimonial, I think, of how that can happen. So can you share some of the, the context around that?

Totally. I remember being in high school.

I—

for everybody who doesn't know, like, I started living alone when I was 15, which is so weird to think about now. And I remember like being in my parents' like master bedroom bathroom all alone and like looking in the mirror and thinking like, I have two choices. I either keep going to school and I keep working my three jobs and I just like keep going, or I don't. And I think that's such a profound thing because we always have a choice, every— in every single moment. And obviously I chose to like continue to pursue my own my own greatness, because I was like, no one's gonna make me go to school, no one's gonna make me do anything. I can kind of just lounge around. But in the moments where it's like you don't have to do anything, I chose to do something and make something of myself. And that's a principle I've carried through like my whole business, is like, okay, I don't have to do things, but who do I want to be and what do I want to build? So I lived alone from a very young age. I got paid to go to college because I just decided like, I'm gonna grind, I'm gonna make something of myself. Like I made it— I made success the only option. And a lot of people dance around it where it's optional. It's like, I hope this works, I hope I can have a business, I hope I make my— I'm like, no, this is the only fucking choice. This is the only option. So I went to college. I was still like such a Negative Nancy, like hated the world, victimhood mindset. And I had this huge spiritual awakening when I was studying abroad, as travel does for us, you know. And I just wanted to be a different version of myself. I hit a rock bottom moment. I have lots of mirror moments. Like, I was like looking in the mirror at my rock bottom and I was like, something has to change and it has to start with me. Like, it has to, because I couldn't change anything around me at the time. And so I was like, I have to be this happier person. I can't keep being negative and complaining because it's only making me more unhappy, essentially. So I became more positive, and then that led into the mindset work, and then that led into me having these like long morning rituals where I would just take the time to feel better about myself in my life. And it got to this point where I had changed so dramatically, and I'd manifest all these crazy things like trips and upgrades and money out of nowhere. It was just like all of these things were happening, and I was like, I have to start teaching this. So I really— my— launched my business in 2018, which feels so long ago. August will be 7 years, which is wild. I launched my business because I felt like I had a moral obligation to teach people what I had learned. And I always remember thinking, like, I will not become the the statistic that I'm supposed to be. So what you were saying earlier is like so true for me because I remember thinking that to myself of like, okay, my dad's in prison, cool. Family members didn't graduate high school. Everyone's struggling with mental health issues. Like, I don't come from money. Like, we had filed bankruptcy. We're getting food from the church. Like, this doesn't make sense, but I refuse to become that statistic. And it just shows that like when you choose who you want to be, like, the world will bend and to work around that if you are powerful enough to keep making that decision. And that was 7 years ago. And then I've just been building the business since on the same principles and continuing to uplevel everything in my life and like refusing to step down from a challenge.

What do you think the future of your life would have looked like if you had stayed in the negativity, if you had stayed in the victimhood, if you believed that because you didn't see people being successful around you or making money or being happy, that that was just what you were destined for? Like, it's so weird to think about it now because your life is so the opposite, but do you ever reflect and think about what that version of your future could have been like if you hadn't have had those awakenings and those mirror moments of like looking at yourself and being like, I need to fucking change something? Where, where do you think you would be? Like, what was the promise of the future if you just had stayed in that kind of mindset that you grew up with in Nebraska.

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I think about that all the time because it's so funny. Like, I was in college studying fashion and French and I had this whole life plan. My whole life I wanted to work in fashion, and after going to school in Nebraska, I was going to move to LA. I was going to go to FIT. I was going to get my master's in fashion social media. I was going to move to Paris. I was going to get my doctorate because fun fact, they have that as a program in fashion social media. And that's where I was learning French at the same time. And I just figured like I would somehow become the CEO of Louis Vuitton like that. That's literally like what I thought.

Always kind of been a little delulu.

I've always been delulu for sure. And it's funny because I talk about this sometimes with clients and like on my podcast where I'm like, you can be unhappy and negative and climb your way to the top. It's just gonna take a long time and it's gonna fucking suck. Like, you're not gonna be happy. That's why there's so many rich people that are miserable, or they don't see their families, or their health goes to shit because they're not, you know, they're not doing it in the easiest, most aligned way that would make them feel good. You're always— my mindset was like, I'm always going to get to my goals, I was always going to be successful no matter what. But since I chose to do things more intentionally and change my mindset, it's been easier and it's been way faster. Like, there's no way I would have made as much money I've made, like, climbing the ranks in the fashion industry. Like, I totally had seen myself, like, I'll probably work New York Fashion Week, I'll be, you know, working 16 hours a day fetching people coffee, like, nobody will look me in the eye. Like, I thought that was going to be the path, and I was willing to put in that work, but it just wouldn't— I don't think I would have been as happy, and I wouldn't have been the same person.

What was the— you've talked about kind of like the spiritual awakening that you had that helped you make that shift from being such a negative person and having like the victim mindset of feeling like the world was against you and, you know, all the hardships that you had gone through were happening to you, not for you? Like, what was the thing? Was it a book? Like, I can't remember what you said. What was the thing that actually like shifted it?

Yeah, it's crazy because it wasn't even anything I saw or read. Like, there is nothing. I think my mom maybe had The Secret in our house, but like I didn't read it. Um, and I was living in— I call this like the raccoon house. Like, I was living in the raccoon house basically our childhood home— like, just like airing out my family tea— our childhood home got foreclosed. And so my mom had to move all of my stuff into my grandfather's house, who we like don't even talk to. So it's already awkward. There's no air conditioning. It's the Nebraska summer. It's humid. It's 100 degrees. Like, there's no Wi-Fi. The floors are stained. The tub doesn't drain. Like, it was like rock bottom, like probably borderline unsafe. And there was a hole in the ceiling because a raccoon had literally fallen into the kitchen at one point. And my mom, bless her soul, put up one of those like wardrobe things to like block where the raccoon could fall in case another like raccoon or a squirrel or something wanted to venture on in. It was literally in the kitchen of this house. And I just remember like living in that home knowing that like at my core, like I'm a bougie bitch, being like, this is not the vibe. Like, yeah, I am like standing in someone's shower water and like putting on like my small Louis Vuitton perfume sample, like dreaming of this life. And I think I just got to this point where I was like, I'm sick of this. And I was actually like, I remember the time I was watching Gossip Girl for the first time and I'm like, that's like the life I'm supposed to have.

Like, like I'm supposed to be Serena, literally.

Like, I am supposed to be like Blair mindset, Serena lifestyle. Like, that's me. And I was like, this is bullshit. Like kind of those moments where you get angry and I remember looking in the mirror and being like, this has got to change. So it was truly like everything around me. I think I just like woke up and you like open your eyes and you're like, this is not it. Like, this is not okay. And something in me, I really feel like it was just like this download or like something was speaking to me that was like, you've got to be the start of this because you can't move out. Well, like maybe I could now knowing what I know. I'm like, yeah, I probably could have moved up, could have moved out and like taken different action steps. But at the time I felt so restricted by my circumstances and my environment, which I know a lot of people can relate to of like, oh well, I can't move out of this, or I can't leave this relationship yet, or, you know, whatever boundaries they've got going on at the time. So I was like, well, I can at least change how I'm feeling about myself. And yes, I think it was just a combination of like honestly getting pissed off that I like lived in a raccoon house with stained floors, and like I just wanted to like buy Louis Vuitton and drive a Range Rover. And I was like, this is not matching up.

And now you do. Like, isn't that such a— I don't know, do you ever have moments like that where you're like driving your car and then you're Oh my God, like my younger self would be like so happy and thinking that this is so cool, like so cute.

But like, let me tell you something, like that's like so out of touch for a second. Like I, I have the Range Rover and I have a Tesla and I drive my Tesla, like that's my like daily driver. And I was in the Tesla the other day and I was like, this doesn't feel like luxury anymore because I think I'm like, I get so excited thinking about like the Lambo truck that I want to buy and I do have those moments where I'm like, yes, like, I love it. I love my Range Rover as a fridge. I'm like, this is crazy. Like, this is next level. And I'm like, oh, these cars are so beautiful. And I was driving the Tesla and I was like, this feels like a Honda now. Like, I'm like, I'm ready for that next level.

Well, it is that kind of the way that you just accustomed— you get, you get used to the next level. Yeah, there's, there's a good side of that and there's a bad side of that. Like, the good side of becoming accustomed to the next level is that it pushes you to grow and expand even further and meet new edges and, you know, grow beyond what you've ever thought possible before. Yeah. Um, but like the bad side is that feeling of like, is it ever— is anything ever going to be enough to make me happy? Or do we, do we even need to like get to a place where we feel like everything is enough and we're happy? Or are we going to be more happy and fulfilled knowing that there's always another goal?

Yeah, I always feel so like driven knowing there's another goal. Yeah, I think for a long time I would get worried about that and get in my head. And I think about this specifically with like my fitness journey. I would always like get to a good place fitness-wise, and then I would sabotage it because I'm like, oh, I'm so close to the goal that I'm gonna get bored because I won't have a goal. And I had to like break that mindset. And I was— I remember working out with a trainer in LA, and he was like, you know, we can set a new goal. Like, we don't have to yo-yo. And I was like, wait, you're right. Like, how did I not think of that one myself? Okay. Um, and he was like, okay, well, like, Lynn, let's set some like other goals. And so then I'm like, okay, great, I want to do like a handstand push-up, I want to do— I want to do this, I want to do that, whatever. And now that's something that like really drives me, where I'm like, yes, I want the Tesla to feel like a Honda Civic. And I'm like, yes, I want to like crush these goals. Like, what was so big at one point, it feels so normal.

Yeah.

And it's really exciting for me. And even like my husband has like become so bougie and accustomed to things now. He's like, I— he's like, you need to make X amount so we never fly economy again, because now I'm so used to first class and I want the lounge and I'm like, okay, baby, you ruined him. He literally groomed him. He's like, this is your fault. Like, you're welcome.

I love that though, because Jaime's also changed his like money mindset so much just from like watching the whole journey of, you know, the business growth and revenue and everything. Like, he used to have such a different perception of what was a lot of money. Yeah, as we all did. Like, I'm sure you remember totally seeing people making $10K months online and being like, oh my gosh, like that That's crazy.

They're rich. They're fucking set for life, literally.

And now if you had a $10K month, you'd be like, oh my fucking God, we are poor. What the fuck is happening? Like, this is devastating to the business. This is not okay, right? We're not going to be able to cover the expenses. Um, but yeah, it's funny how like your— the men in your life too are also— they, they're expanded by what you're doing and what's possible. And then their outlook on life in the world and what's available to them changes too, because like Jaime coming from Spain, you know, life is so much different there in terms of just like salaries and economy and everything. So to move to America and like see the growth of the business and everything, it's kind of fun to corrupt them a little bit in that way.

A little, you know, a little.

And just be like, but they also, I feel like they also keep us humble.

Yeah.

At least, at least Jaime keeps me humble a little bit. He's, he grounds me of like remembering what normal people think about things.

You know, my husband will say things and I'm like, I'm like, oh, you know, like, he'll like say like a limit, believe. And I'm like, oh, I like— he— okay, so he had this job, like, now he's in sales, he loves it. But before his like normal sales job, he's in like door-to-door. And he'd be like, oh, it's just like, today's just like so hard out here. And I was like, what's hard about knocking on doors? Like, there's like nothing. And he would laugh, like, he's so used to me doing this shit now. And I'm like, the quote-unquote hard part is, is the mindset. I'm like, in your head you're getting caught up in like, no, no, no, no, door slammed in your face, someone yelled at you. Like, that is tough to bounce back from. But I always reframe it for him. I'm like, what's hard about— what's hard about like knocking on a door? And now he sells Harley-Davidsons. I'm like, what's hard about selling a motorcycle? Like, people literally come in and want to buy it. And he's like, you're right, it is easy. And I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah, good job.

Well, what you focus on expands. And so you can focus on the part of the rejection, or you can focus on the part of like, all I have to do is walk around all day and as many— if I get enough nos, I'll eventually get a yes, literally. And that's it. Every no leads to the next yes. But anyways, that's a whole— we can go into a whole sales masterclass. Sales masterclass is up next. But okay, you're obviously a person that like really embodies this energy of kind of like it girl energy. There's confidence, but you've talked about using your past hardships as a way to kind of build your confidence. Can you kind of speak to that journey of of using where you've come from and what you've gone through to be the, the ground that you stand on that allows you to like walk with your shoulders back and your head high.

Yeah, 100%. I think about on days where I'm going through like some mental stuff, like I'm playing mental gymnastics myself, I'm like, we've been through so many harder things. Like, and I tell myself like, if you made it through that, you can make it through literally anything. And I think more of us need to appreciate the things that we have overcome because it's so quick to overcome it. And especially if it's like a trauma, to want to bury that and never think about it again. And for me, it's like, okay, great, that's not actually healing. So I know what I've been through and I've made peace with it, and I'm on the other side. And now I know, like, I am the way I am now because I went through that, and I wouldn't change that. And I'm so— I'm like, I feel like I'm 10 times stronger because of the things I went through. I feel like as adults, so many people are now starting to experience life and hardships. Like, I got, I got like a head start to the race. And so I use that in my favor of empowering myself. I'm like, okay, great, like, you screwed me over, cool, so did my dad, I was 14, like, next, like, come on, like, let's go. And I think a lot of people end up getting triggered when things come up again. And for me, I'm just like, okay, back of the line, like, I don't care, been there, done that, and I'm on to the next thing. So it's a choice in your perspective, always. I'm like, for me, nothing can stop me because nothing stopped me then. And if I just keep making those choices of I don't have to do this, but what do I want to do and who do I want to be, then I'm always going to come out on top because I also have the track record of pushing through some of the hardest things in my life and still coming out on top.

Yeah, kind of leaning on like the proof that you've already built in your life that you can do hard things, that you can make it through, that you come out the other side of adversity stronger. Like using that rather than using that as a crutch, which I think some people do, of leaning on it as another reason to be a victim. Yeah, when something bad happens, they're like, oh, and another bad thing that's happened me, whereas like your perspective is like, I've gone through so many harder things. This next bad thing, like, okay, I can easily, you know, find my way through this. And next, like, we're going to be past it in 5 seconds.

Thank you, next. Literally. And people will be like, of course. Like, they always say of course in a negative way. And I literally have of course tattooed on me in French, like, because I'm like, of course good things happen to me. Like, of course this worked out. Of course I got a free coffee. Of course this client wants to reset. Like, of course, of course, of course. Because it's a choice. And I think people forget, like, we have free will. Like, we can choose the way we want to look at things. And I even look back to some of the hardest years of my life and I'm like, well, of course that happened to me because I had to become stronger and become this version of myself. And I needed to learn those lessons early on so I could handle a big business and moving all over the country a million times and doing all these things. So I look back with so much gratitude rather than like, why me? Why me? And I think when we get we get stuck in phases of victimhood, we just digress. And I refuse to do that. Like I've said for so long, like, my success is inevitable. It's always been my mindset, and I refuse to like step out of line with that.

I love that. You spoke earlier about speaking of like, my success is inevitable. Even before you kind of like made that shift in the direction of your career and what you wanted to do and starting a business and a podcast and all of that, you still held like a really big big vision for your future and what you thought was possible and having that kind of like delusional energy of just believing that you could achieve anything, which kind of ties into the confidence piece. But I think there's a part of, you know, what you said before of like, I was always going to be willing to put in the work, even if it was the fashion job that, you know, you're going to be getting coffees for everyone and no one's going to look you in the eye and you're probably going to be treated like shit and made very subpar. You're— you've never been afraid to like do hard work. And I think you bring an interesting dichotomy into like manifestation space specifically because of— when you think of the manifestation girlies online, a lot of it is this more soft girl energy of like, it gets to be easy and it could just come to you if you become more magnetic. And, and not even like that you just sit there, I think, but just it's interesting to see your perspective and how like your podcast has blown up and stuff, because I think people really resonate with— it feels like truth. Yeah, is what I'm trying to get at. And when you hear something that feels like truth, you're like, oh, this girl knows what she's talking about. Yeah. And it's because there's two sides to that coin, and you are such a spiritual person and believe in the energy work and the magnetism and getting everything that you want. And of course, of course, of course, all these good things are going to happen to me. I'm a magnet for miracles. Of course.

Course.

Yeah. And you fucking work your ass off to get there. Yeah. So let's talk about like the real side of what it's take— what it's taken to build a podcast to 4 or 5 million downloads, you know, a 7-figure business. Like the stuff that people don't necessarily see on the internet but that is very much happening behind the scenes.

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Yeah, and I, I want to touch on the truth piece too. Like, why people will listen to me talk and they're like like, I would probably believe anything you would tell me. It's because I speak with so much conviction. Yeah, because I only talk about like what I know to be true, what relates to me and my experience. There's so many people online that just like talk about ideas, and I'm like, no, this is what I've lived, this is what I know is true. And I, I lived and I breathed it and I moved through it, so I have this like extra level of conviction and confidence that people listen to. And they're like, wait, I want to feel that way, I want that energy in my life. And I think that's one thing that's really helped the podcast blow up is because they have that energy. And one thing I'm thinking about, like, as a kind of a content hack, is like, I'm always thinking about what's the feeling I want to give people when they listen to my podcast, my Insta stories, a free masterclass, they read an email. Like, it doesn't matter, like, what's the feeling? In my whole business, I've set the intention of like, I want to feel like a loving kick in the ass, because that's what I, I like. Like, that's what motivates me. Like, I want you to like your truth. Yeah, exactly.

I'm like, you're like authentic energy that you always bring.

Yeah, I'm like, I want, I want my trainer to yell at me. Like, I love Andy Forcella, he like yells on his podcast all the time. I'm like, I like people that are so passionate, they get worked up, and I'm the same way. And so with my podcast, I've always brought this energy of like, I love you and I believe in you, but we've got to fucking go. And I can speak to that because that's me. That's like the behind-the-scenes things. I was— last year I launched my podcast tour where I was back to back to back in different cities. It was New York, Denver, and Los Angeles. Fearless. I had no idea what I was doing. Like, I just knew I wanted to do a podcast live show. I did one here in Austin, and then when I did that, I announced I was doing a whole tour because I'm literally insane. And just like, I was like, well, what's next? Let's do a whole tour, um, all by myself. Because at the time, I didn't even have a team member working with me at the time. Wow. And so I'm like figuring out renting venues and getting chairs. And the New York show was during New York Fashion Week, which I didn't plan, so there was no chairs for rent. I'm like, we're gonna be sitting on the floor. Like, I have no clue how this is going to come together, but it's a loving kick in the ass. You decide you're gonna do this, you have a certain level of quality, you need to show up and deliver for these people. Like, let's fucking go. We don't have time to sit and wonder, like, how am I going to pull this off? How's it gonna— I don't know.

Or like, should I cancel it? Yeah, like, probably never even crossed your mind.

No, never. Like, I'm like, I have no moment to spiral. And that's like the message and the vibe I deliver to people and why the podcast has done so well. And it's because I overcome stuff like that by giving myself a loving kick in the ass. And I do that across the board, everything in my business. And people want more of that. Like, I think especially for the spiritual girlies, like, there's so many people in their life that are quote-unquote more normal, or just people that are into personal development, and nobody around them is into mindset work. Everybody in their normal life will just drop the ball. Like, oh, I'm not gonna work out today because I'm super tired. And they're like, okay, yeah, like start again next Monday, or, you know, next month, whatever. And so, so many people give them that out regularly, and I'm not gonna give people that out. I don't give myself that out. And it's a different level of person to be like— I like, for example, I came back from a trip on Monday. Tuesday morning, I'm in the gym at 7 AM. Like, a normal person would be like, I'm gonna take a day, I'm gonna rest, I'm gonna sleep in, blah blah. I'm like, nope, let's go. I have things to do. I've got a business to run. I gotta be in the studio. Like, we've got all these projects going on. Like, let's fucking go. And that's so different, like so different. And that's why I think my business and my podcast blew up.

Yeah, because you're someone who's like willing to put in the work, right? And I think like within the space that you're in, or that we're both in, and you know, the personal development space, spirituality, like to your point, no one's ever going to make you wrong.

Yeah.

For listening to your body or wanting to rest, or like the world is kind of like designed to support you in your excuses, because everyone has excuses and everyone's leaning into their excuses. Yeah, when you lean into theirs, they're like, oh, it's kind of nice to see like someone else also giving themselves an out, like you said. Um, but it takes a different level of discipline and motivation and ambition to be like, no, I don't want to give myself the out.

No, it's like, because we're building something real here, and I think people need to remember that, especially if you want to be a successful business owner and podcaster. Like, there's days all the time that we feel like we don't want to do something, but it's like, but you've got to show up. And I always tell myself, like, how badly do you want it? And that's why I'm like, I'm ruthlessly consistent on my podcast, like a motherfucker. And people do seasons, they take breaks, they go on trips, they, they're like, well, I'm on a trip, I'm not, no Soso this week.

Wait, I do not relate to that at all.

No, I'm like, what the fuck are you talking about? I'm like, my people are counting on me. Like, if I am in Bali for a month, you bet my ass is in that studio for 8 hours, everything. Like, I take this seriously. Almost like, it's like, without it being this scarcity fight or flight, I treat it like it's like, this is life or death. Like, I've got something to do here. Yeah. And because of that, it makes your podcast grow, it makes your business grow, because people can actually trust you that you follow through and that you show up no matter what season of life you're in. Like, I have been in phases— like, before leaving LA, I'd moved around a lot. Like, I was like, the worst move of my life. I had applied for all these houses by myself and then a couple would apply, and then they would pick the family over me. Or like somebody would be like, oh, I'm gonna pay more in rent, and they wouldn't let me counter. And it was just like one thing after another. It was like living out of Airbnbs. My stuff was in storage. It was a disaster. And I was still podcasting every week. Like at one point I was podcasting one of my friend's garages, so it was quiet. And I was packing up my full desktop iMac computer and bringing it over to people's places to record. Hard. And so then people are like, no one's listening, it's hard, I'm going through a tough time, I'm tired, I'm tired. I'm sorry, like, are you willing to record in a garage of someone's apartment or your full desktop computer? Yeah, when you're full, are you willing to pack it all up, like, keep your animals at the Airbnb, risk getting those complaints of them barking, and like, are you willing to still go and show up? If you're not, then get the fuck out of here. Like, because there's other people that are willing to be more in it than you.

Yeah.

And it's not always gonna be like that crazy kind of grind. It was just a phase. But that's why I have built all of this, and that's the behind-the-scenes stuff people don't see, is that willingness to continue and push through. And I can do that easily because I've been through harder shit. Yeah, like I dropped my dad off at prison in high school. I called myself out of school. Hey, can't come to school, sorry, third day senior year, I have to take my dad to prison. In, like, you know. So it's like, I'm gonna let like a move stop me from uploading on my podcast? Like, you're crazy.

You're crazy. Crazy.

So I think like so many things in my life have led to this delusional, my success is inevitable, like, I'm always gonna do what it takes. And now it's just like who I am. But anybody can choose for that to be who they are. Like, you don't have to have this crazy traumatic life story. You can just choose that that's the kind of person you want to be.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I think that's something that I've always, like, admired about you and loved is like the level of, like, grit that you bring to everything. And being a, you know, a business owner myself and, you know, being in the same space as you, like, we've known each other online for so many years.

So many years. Yeah.

6 years at least. Like, I know that that's like what you're doing behind the scenes because when you see other people really succeeding, you know that it's not airy-fairy, you know, farts and rainbows. It's— they're putting in the fucking work. They're putting in the hours. There's the dedication, there's the grit, there's there's the, okay, like, I don't feel good today, but like, we, you know, this is, this is the what we have to get done. Like, let's do shit. You don't always love every single thing that you have to do. There's stuff that you're gonna do that you don't want to do. There's gonna be days that you don't want to show up and you do it anyways. And that's really, I think, how people create meaningful movements in the world. And people, to your point, are inspired by seeing you show up with that level of like grit and ambition and consistency. It is so inspiring when you see someone who like has a deep commitment to them themselves or a mission, and they're just like on top of it, and they are never wavering. Yeah, like, fuck, like, our nervous systems also love that in terms of like mentorship or people that we look up to. Like, when you see someone who's so consistent and on it all the time, it gives you a sense of safety. It's like, I can depend on this person. Like, I know that they're going to be there. And I think that's a huge thing with podcasting especially, is like being part of people's lives, being part of their weekly routines, um, having your listeners know that you're going to be there every single Wednesday, Tuesday, whatever every day you upload, like no matter what, like you're always there.

I think that's so key too. It's like such a small detail, but it's like when you're posting consistently, your people know what to expect from you and it makes them love you even more because they're like, oh man, if they're like having a really— for me, I upload on Mondays and Wednesdays, soon to be Fridays because I'm a fucking psychopath. Yeah. Um, but it's like if somebody has a really bad Tuesday, they're at least like, well, Michaela's gonna upload on Wednesday, I'll have a reset in the morning, I'll grab a coffee, I'll go for a hot girl walk, like I will turn this week around. And I love that I get to be that for people. But if you're not willing to show up rain, snow, or shine, like, you're not going to be that for people.

So you shared something recently that I loved, which we have to talk about, which was, uh, fuck a soft girl era. And I also, like, at the start of this year, I was like, this is my it girl era. Like, I'm feeling the fire again. Like, I'm falling in love with the work. Like, I just want to be like doing stuff all the time. Like, so many fun projects and new things. And like just feeling really, really lit up, but coming off of the back of what was my kind of soft CEO era, which I definitely needed. But towards the end of it, I just felt like, oh my God, I have so much more to give. Like, there's so much like untapped potential. Um, but yeah, you shared something interesting about how your soft girl era is like not helping you manifest anything. So can we talk about—

yeah. That. Yes, I love talking about this.

I'm like, oh God, they're in right now.

Yeah, totally. And I just like, I don't need a preface, but I will. Like, there's nothing wrong with being in a soft girl era. There's no problem being in like a housewife, chill, baking bread vibe. Love it, love it. Okay, I'm just too hardcore for that, all right? And so I'm just speaking from my own experience, but like so many people see this big trend online, soft girl era, and they're and they're like, oh, I want that, because they want a fucking break. This is the issue. They see that and they're like, oh man, it's like not pay bills, have my man pay bills, and I could just relax and like wake up whenever, go to Pilates, like chill vibes. And really what they're just craving is a break and a nervous system reset. And so then they pursue this soft girl era without realizing like you're just using this as an excuse to take a fucking break. Like, this isn't even what you want. Like, you have so much in you to give. I love that you had that moment because I think so many people need to realize that. And it's like you're just avoiding doing things by not pursuing your fullest potential. And so for me, I'm like, well, yeah, your soft girl era is not manifesting anything because you're like baking bread, making a matcha at home, and like taking a nap and not doing anything. It's like, what are we supposed to do with that? Because manifestation is equal parts like being in the energy, being in the mindset, but also taking action. So if you're not taking action, we're not grounding it to anything in the real 3D world. And people think that they're going to soft girl era their way to like $1 million. And I'm like, but you didn't even sell anything this week. Like, you didn't even do anything. And it's just under this fake idea of being like chill vibes, basically. Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, I think like if you have realistic expectations of what the outcome is going to be of a soft girl era, it's one thing, but it's like like thinking that the soft girl era is going to be the thing that puts you into your feminine enough that you become so magnetic that you just start manifesting money and, you know, your business like blows up and all these things. It's like, that's actually going to come from you being regulated in your nervous system, like you said. So maybe you do need a, a, like a quick break. Totally. But you are going to have to actually sell something if you want to make money.

You've got to like open up the avenues. Like, I remember seeing something online and somebody was like, oh, I just did this like Joe Dispenza meditation for 40 days and it changed my life. Cool. And she was like talking about how she had made all this money from it, and it was like really a really interesting like listen. But I'm like, the reason why you were able to receive all this money is be— is because you were also selling at the same time and you were still showing up and doing the things. Like, let's make sure we include that in this, because then people think like, oh, I can be in my soft girl era, I can just be my feminine energy and meditate and I'll be all good and it's all going to come together. And we need the full story from people. And I think so much of society is like, I don't want to work anymore. I don't want to put in effort. And I'm like, what are you guys talking about? I'm like, I breathe. I like crave taking action.

You're such a Capricorn. It's like hilarious.

Painful. Like, it's like, it's— I'm such a Capricorn. It's like actually insane. I just— I'm like hungry for it. I don't even— I don't even want to take a fucking vacation where I'm like not working for a week. Like, boring. Like, what am I— I want to like lay on the beach, journal, write an Instagram post, and like come up with a new program. From. Like, I don't know, I think that when you're like a hardcore kind of girly and like you are motivated by people like Annie Frisella or like Shelby the Sales Girl we love, and like they're a little more intense, in-your-face, like, then the soft girl era is not for you. Like, you, you want to be in it, and people think they don't need to be in it anymore.

Yeah, yeah, I love that. There's such a duality to it, and there's value in everything, but if you, you have to really take a look for yourself of like, is the way that you're approaching your goals matching the outcomes that you're trying to create? Exactly. And there's seasons for everything, but if your goal is to build an incredible brand and have people know your name, or have a huge podcast, or have a 7, 8-figure business, like, then what you're doing and how you're showing up has to match what those goals are.

Totally. And if you don't like— and if you want to have that, you also need to be able to hold it. So it's like, that's where the rest is required. I'm not saying that we are sleeping 4 hours a day, like, you know, it's like the rest has to also up-level with the increase of income and responsibilities. And like, as I've hired people onto my team, like, I'm, I'm running my business and I'm taking care of clients, I'm also managing a team. Like, I've got so many moving pieces going on. So it's like, yeah, I need to make sure that I'm getting massages and facials and getting 8, 9 hours of sleep and getting in my workouts. Like, you do have to take care of yourself and and that has to match, like it has to align, similar to what you're saying. Like, you can be in a soft girl era, but also you need to take action if you want to build this. Like, it's got to be both.

And you can, you know, be taking the action and also still taking care of yourself. I think, yeah, so like one of the cool things about the way that, um, women are doing this kind of like version of success nowadays is because we had like the hustle era. Yeah, right, which like, you know, pound all the caffeine, like you'll sleep when you're dead, like that kind of energy, which was very much for the bros. Um, but what you're saying is when you uplevel your standard for the level of like grit and hunger and success that you're wanting to reach, you're also upleveling the standard for how you need to take care of yourself. Yeah. And you're someone who's also very committed to your health and wellness, so you're not grinding at the expense of your well-being, right? You're upleveling your well-being alongside those standards for success. So you are someone who's the gym and working out, you're taking care of yourself, you're eating well, you're resting well. And I think for some people, maybe they think that they can't do all of that or they can't hold all of that. So what would you say in terms of like energetic standards and holding space? We're both childless at the moment, so that's also something to mention. Yes, we have more free time on our hands. But what would you say for people that feel like it's not possible to hold the standard for their health and well-being at the same time as for their business and success?

Best goals. Yeah, I, I would be like, well, what are you doing with your time? I think people really like it. Like, get a Google Calendar, babe. Like, what are we—

be like, well, let me, let me look at your screen time on your phone.

Let me look at your screen time. Let me look at your calendar. Like, I can tell you what's going on in your life if I can look at your calendar. Like, because I— we all have the same 24 hours in a day. And especially childless, cool, whatever, like, that's so different. So, right, so we have all of our time. And even if you're working a 9-to-5 and building a business like there's still time. Like, you, you make time for the things that are important to you. So one, I would be like, where's the calendar? What time are we waking up? What time are we going to bed? What's the screen time? Like, we need to audit our lives, right? And the life audit's going to change based off what are your priorities at the time. But there's that. And then it's like, you make time for what's important to you. So is it important to you? Like, why don't you care enough to make it happen? I think for me, I don't ever have this moment of like, well, I don't know if I can do all of it, because I know I can if I decide I'm going to. So where are not making a decision? Like, where are you letting it to be this up in the air, hopefully I can do that, yeah, maybe, like, if it works out, if I have the time, and we'll see how the day goes? Yeah, I just don't do that. I'm like, I decide. And if right now I'm in this era where, like, I wake up at 5:00, I go to the gym at 5:30, like, it's super early, but, like, that's how I make that time. And it's important to know that where you're leaving things up in the air, where things could be a maybe or a fully, then it's not gonna happen because you're not deciding that it's going to happen. Mm-hmm. I think that's part of the energetic standard. It's what are the standards that you're picking for yourself? Because for me, movement's a non-negotiable. Like if I don't get in my movement, I'm like, I'm a little crazy. Like I need to like work through that energy and create movement and it inspires me and it motivates me. So that's a priority and I will always fit in my priorities because that's what I decide to do. And I think what people need is they need to have higher energetic standards for themselves and believe more in their own decisions.

The power of deciding is like so underrated. Yeah, like it seems like it's such a basic, like, kind of pie-in-the-sky idea of like, well, just decide. But like, when you truly make a decision, not just saying it but really like feeling it in your body and just knowing that that's how you're going to show up and that's who you're going to be and that's what you're going to do, it changes everything. Like, I made a decision when I was 24 that I was going to make a million dollars by the time I was 30 and I had no idea how I was gonna do it. I had no plan. I had no business at the time. I, I was just reading the book, you know? Yeah. Uh, Secrets of the Millionaire Mind. And it told me to decide when I was gonna make a million dollars. Yeah. So I was like, okay, I'm deciding.

I'm deciding.

I'm deciding. And then you figure it out because you've made the decision.

Yeah.

When you know something is going to happen, I knew I was gonna move to the US in the middle of the pandemic with my partner who's not a US citizen. Mm-hmm. Everyone said it was impossible.

Possible.

And I just decided, like, we're going, and I don't care what it takes. I'm gonna make my dog a service animal. Like, I'm gonna do all the things. I don't care, red tape everywhere, fuck it, I'm ripping it all down. I'll find a way.

Yeah, that's the difference, is like, I will find a way. So when people think like, oh well, I don't have this energetic capacity to, to do this and do that and take care of this, I'm just like, why not? Like, you get to decide that's who you want be. I am truly here for like the girls that are like, they want to do all the things and they want it to look easy. Like you, for me, people like look at me and they hear all the things I do and they're like, how do you do all that? And you make it look so easy and so seamless. I'm like, because that's where I decide to be. It's very simple. Sometimes it's not easy. Sometimes it takes real work. Sometimes there are hard times, but it's very simple because I decide this is what's going to be a part of my life. This is how it's going to go.

And this is how I'm going to feel about it. Yeah. As well, you choose. Yeah. Like how view it and how you feel about it.

Yeah, I'm like, and then if it's not going that way, well, I'm gonna find another way.

Mm-hmm. Yeah, just the grit. It would not be a Michaela Jay episode if we didn't talk a little bit about manifestation.

Of course.

So we've, we've kind of hit on it a little bit, but I'm really curious if your kind of perception or relationship with manifestation has evolved over the years, cuz you've been doing it for so long now. Yeah. And obviously you're like life has changed a lot. Do you personally— like, obviously the foundations are the foundations— but do you personally approach manifestation any differently than you did when you were in the Raccoon House?

I love this question. I have had the same manifestation process the whole time, but it has looked so different. Everything goes through seasons, you know. Like, my manifestation process has always been like, what do you want? Getting the Clarity. How is that going to feel when you receive it? Be the energetic match. Take action. Trust the fucking process, AKA then go live your life and stop staring at your email waiting for a payment or whatever, you know. Trust that you put in the work. Rinse and repeat, rinse and repeat. I think over different seasons that's looked different. I've had phases where, like, on YouTube— I have a YouTube video that's like my 2-hour morning routine, and I'm like, that's so cute, but also I did that when I was in college and working and building the business.

Wow.

Don't tell me you don't have time for things. I was doing— I was pulling a 2-hour morning routine Like, that's actually crazy. So like, I had that, I had those phases, but like, I don't remember the house that you lived in then with your little twinkly lights.

Yes. And your bunnies.

Yes. Oh, angels. When I lived in the Nebraska era. So funny. So it's like, I've had that where it's like these long— I used to do like a full bath ritual in the morning and I'm like, that's insane. Like, I don't do that now, but I was such a vibe for me. Like, that's how like step 2, like embodying that energy, how are you going to feel when it's done? Like, that's what it took for me at the time. Time to get into those feelings. Now that I've been practicing this for so long, I can think, who is the version of Michaela who drives a Lambo truck? Immediately have a feeling and take action in that energy. So now the process is a lot faster. And one thing that's really shifted for me that I've been talking about recently is like, what people are becoming nowadays are like these spiritual junkies where it's like you're going from like one ritual to another ritual. And it's like you go to a breathwork class, you have this amazing breakthrough time, and you're like, oh, I feel so good. And then you just want breakthrough, and then you just want the next.

You don't even like live off of the embodiment or the lesson from that breakthrough. You're just looking for the next one.

The next one. It's like the quick fix mentality has like trickled its way into spirituality and always finding the next, the next ritual, the next card deck, the next thing. And that's not sustainable.

Healing can be addicting. Like, it is kind of a high when you feel like you've had a breakthrough or you feel like, yeah, Christ, a limiting belief or something. It can be this like addiction of just wanting to feel that over and over again.

Yeah.

But I think it's a way that people again circumvent actually doing the work. Because a lot of the times it's like, great, you had that breakthrough, now go live in the embodiment of what you learned from that. Show up, do the work, consistency. Like, that you already have the tools. There's not a magic pill, there's not a magic formula. You're already doing the work, just keep doing it.

Yeah, stay in it. But you know what it is where I notice that people get really messed up is like they're being 7 different versions of themselves. Like, there is— like, for me, back in the day, like, there was a Michaela at school, there was a Michaela with her friends, Michaela and her relationship, Michaela during travel, like Michaela in her business, like so many different versions of myself because I didn't have the courage at the time to just be the one me. Like, we get so afraid of that judgment, especially when I was like my, like, really like out there spiritual era. I was like, my friends are gonna think I'm fucking crazy, and I was scared to talk to them in that way and scared to own that truth of like, wow, I've kind of gone off the deep end, and this is like so interesting, and I'm so like high on life with this. I just wouldn't own it myself. So I would go to something like a retreat or a breathwork class or like even yoga.

Yeah, you would feel like yourself finally.

Yeah. And then I'd go home and I never integrated it because I still had that fear of, well, all these people are going to think I'm like literally crazy. And then that's why it doesn't stick. So we become these like spiritual junkies when no one's— it's literally like when no one's looking. Like when I'm going to my breathwork class, no one can tell me. And that's something that's really changed for me, where I've looked at manifestation less as like, okay, we're going to do these rituals, I'm going to do this manifestation ritual for money. And now it's like, okay, what's the feeling? What is it that I want? What's the feeling I need to embody? Who's that version of me? Increase my standards, uplevel the messy areas of my life, or anywhere that there's sticky energy, something I need to shift. Great, let me do it. And now let me take act. It's so much more fluid and it's like a system nowadays rather than, okay, I need to go buy this new crystal for this new thing and then I gotta do this moon water shit. Like, I'm like, I don't even have time for that. I don't have time for that. Like, I'm busy living my life.

Mm-hmm.

So it's become more of like an integrated practice nowadays.

Mm-hmm.

And so that's been an interesting thing that's like shifted for me in terms of manifestation.

Yeah. Yeah. I feel similarly. I think at the start also you're very excited about everything and the big kind of elaborate morning routines. Or rituals feel super exciting and yeah, you've not done that before. So that feels like the thing that's gonna expand you the most. And in some ways it is, right? Yeah. And then you just kind of like continue to allow yourself to evolve in it. Um, but I think sometimes people get stuck in that phase of thinking, if I'm not doing these extensive, you know, really complex rituals, then I'm not gonna be in the energy of manifestation. But yeah, you kind of like become the energy of manifestation at a certain point. Totally. Because you've like rewired the way that you, look at the world and see yourself so firmly that you don't need as much of that because it's already now your hardwiring.

Totally. I think it's exactly that. Like, at first that's your tool to get in that energy, and after a while you don't need a tool or a ritual to get into it. You just know the feelings that you need to be in. I think part of that comes with a track record of having successful manifestations and trust in the process, and also knowing that, like, I'm gonna figure it out one way or another. Ever. I think where a lot of people get caught up in the rituals is they think a manifestation is just going to come knock on their front door and they haven't done anything. So they're like, well, let me go back to this somatic healing class and then hopefully when I get home the check will be in the mail. And I'm like, what? No, it's not how it works. So it's like, I think that's where I think people start to get tripped up over it. And it's like, okay, well, we have to break out of that and create like actual sustainable change. Because when you think about like, I always say like your next level self and your next level looks life, like, you don't want to be spending like 3 hours a day on all these like random rituals. Like, in those 3 hours, you could be on a plane and be in Mexico, like, flying on a private jet. If we really keep working this process, like, in those 3 hours, you could have just led 3 more sessions for clients and made an extra $10,000 in new program. Like, there's so many other things we could be doing with that time. Or even in those 3 hours, you could be having brunch with your best friends, right?

Yeah.

So I think it's got to become more more of this like system and this every day and this, this is the decision I've made, this is what I'm creating, my success is inevitable, I know how I need to show up, let me go do it and then I can live my life. And that's really what manifestation is at the end of the day. If you look up the definition, it's just to bring about to the eye, like how can I make this dream a reality? So we don't have to add in all of the extra steps once you know how to tap into that energy effortlessly.

Honestly. Yeah, so good, so good. You heard it here first, you guys. Fuck a soft girl era.

Fuck a soft girl era.

You know what it is. If you want more loving kicks in the ass, follow Mikayla. Thank you so much for coming on the show.

Thanks for having me again.

It's been a minute. I know, so good to also just be in person again and hang out in real life.

I know. Welcome to Austin. Thanks. You guys gonna move, buy a second house?

We'll see if we— we'll see if we convince— convince them. All right, you guys, thank you so much for tuning in. We will talk to you next week.

Love you. Bye.

Bye! If you loved this episode, make sure to check out the show notes where I've linked a few similar episodes I know you're also going to love. You'll find them under the similar episodes section in the description down below with direct links so you can dive in and start listening right away, or add them to your queue for later. Binge away for even more growth, expansion, abundance, and fire motivation.