Feminine Leadership & Embodying the Queen w/ Mel Wells

Welcome to the Makeshift Happen podcast. I'm your host, Samantha Daly, entrepreneur, life coach, and your no BS bestie, here to bring you all things mindset, manifestation, and personal development.

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Let's go make shit happen. Welcome back to the podcast, guys. Thank you for tuning in for another episode. I have a super special guest with us today. I have the one and only Mel Wells on the show. Mel is an embodied leadership and intimacy coach. She is trained in holistic sex, love, and relationships, eating psychology, and she's a bestselling Hay House author of not one but two books with a third one on the way in 2022. So watch out.

Um, OK!

Magazine called her books the body Bibles for women, and Forbes described her as giving a voice to the silent struggles of women that women know so well. And all of that, in addition to all of that, she's one of my personal mentors and coaches that I've had the privilege of working with for the last year inside of her mastermind, the Queendom. So welcome to the show, the queen of queens, Mel Wells.

Oh, Sam, thank you so much for that epic introduction. I'm so honored to be here, and it's been such a pleasure of knowing you and working with you for the last year, so I'm really excited for this conversation.

Yeah, it's been a wild ride. So we spent the last year together inside of the Mastermind, and I've learned so much alongside of you, and you've seen me through a lot of growth and transformation over the last year. And I actually also feel like I've seen you through some pretty crazy transitions and major uplevels. So it's been, uh, yeah, it's been quite a year, hasn't it? 2021. So my first question is kind of a big one. I want to get your perspective on what the biggest lesson has been for you from this past year. As we're recording, you know, we're kind of coming to the end of the year, and even on the Queendom retreat that we were just on, we did a lot of reflection and kind of closing loops of this year. So what do you feel like your universal assignment was for 2021, or what was the biggest lesson?

100% immediately know what this is. It is just to trust God's plan 100%. We do not know better than what God has planned for us, than what the universe has planned for us. So we make these plans. I made these in the most, most, like, the most grand plans for this year, and God was like, lol, no, we're gonna do something else instead. Totally different. Not expecting this. You're gonna die and get completely reborn, you're gonna move continents, you're gonna change everything about your life, you know. And I was just like, all right, let's go, let's do this then. Like, I trust, I, I completely trust that you know better than me what's good for me and where I'm going. So I think it was like a Jesus take the wheel moment, you know. Like, I'm just like, hands off the wheel. Like, I can't control this anymore, I'm not gonna try. And create a detailed action plan for my life anymore, because clearly that's just not what the universe wants for us, right? So that was for sure the biggest lesson. And even now I'm getting the same thing again. I'm like trying to make these intricate plans for 2022, and then it's like, nope, there's, there's something else, there's something else. There's always a new, a new plan that's better.

I love that because I, I say all the time, like, we have to remember that at the end of the day, we are still just humans, humaning, and we don't always know what's best for us. And also, you know, like, thank God that we didn't always get the thing that we thought that we wanted, right? Because if we always got our plan, our version of the, of the mapping out of the situation, we would be in a far different place, and it wouldn't be nearly as good as it is now, because the universe always has a, has a bigger plan.

Like, literally, thank God we don't get some of the things that we think we want. Thank goddess.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think about some of the things that I, you know, looking back on my life, that I was certain of, like, this is what I need, this is what it— whether it was a job or a relationship or whatever. And I'm like, wow, thank God that that, like, didn't work out, or that that got ripped away from me, even when this is super like relevant for you. Even when I was certain that it was what I wanted and what I needed, like not just when you're like, oh, maybe this isn't aligned but it's painful to let go of. No, no, no, no, no. Even when you're in the situations where you're like, no, this is what I wanted, like why are you taking this from me? Please, no.

Yeah, even in those times, those are the most important ones because it's literally like having the rug pulled from underneath your feet or having something ripped away from you because that is literally the only way that God can move you onto the correct timeline, because you're not going to do it yourself. You're not seeing— there were so many opportunities, you know, in my last relationship where I had opportunities to see stuff and chose to look the other way. So literally the only way that I was going to make this timeline switch was the way that it happened, which was brutal and a shock and hard, but it was literally the only way. God was like, wake up, wake up, Time to move, time to move. So yeah, honestly, worst and best thing that's ever happened to me. Seriously, so grateful, so grateful.

Yeah, I remember you saying that, like, this feels like it's been the worst year of my life but simultaneously somehow the best year of my life. And that dichotomy is so interesting. And I think when we're, when we're coming from the place of having moved through it It's really— it feels really empowering to be able to share these lessons and look back and say like, yeah, but like, thank God that I didn't get what I wanted and then it didn't work out because here I am now and look at all of this. But what would you say maybe for someone who's not there yet, who's still in the depth of like, fuck, why is this happening? It feels like it's all falling apart.

100%. When things feel like they're falling apart, something better is on the way. Something better is falling together. You literally have to trust and just take one step at a time and put one foot in front of the other. You know, you don't have to see the whole vision. You don't have to have a new vision straight away. You don't have to have a new plan. You literally just need to be like, right, what is my next right move? How can I just listen to my intuition at every single moment and trust those little nudges? You know, trust like, where am I being guided to next? Not needing to see the whole Staircase, just the first step. And also, you know, it's never— it's not in the flow of the universe to ever try and force something. If something leaves our life, if something drops away from our life, if something is pulled from us, we have to trust that it was never ours to begin with in the first place. If we start forcing it to make sense, forcing it to try and fit back together, it just never really works out very well because things fall apart for a reason. I really believe that we have to literally look at what God is doing to our life and be like, all right, I'm listening, I'm paying attention, there must be something better on the way.

It reminds me of that cheesy saying that's like, people either come into your lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. But most of like the cliché sayings like that are cliché because there's some, there's some truth to it, you know. So yeah, I feel like it's so true. Like, maybe it wasn't yours to begin with in the sense of like it's not meant for you forever, right? It was, it was meant for you for what it was meant for you for. There was something in it that was there to serve you or give you a lesson or awaken you to something or shift or change something about you or within your soul or in your life. But once that is received, done, and completed, sometimes the universe has to step in to be like, all right, we got to move on now because this has served its purpose and, and we're done here now.

Yeah, for sure. And relationships are deep, deep spiritual assignments, you know. There is no greater tool for transformation and growth and healing than being in a relationship. So yeah, every single relationship has medicine and lessons deep, deep lessons for us. But yeah, you're right, like, that doesn't mean that they're meant to be forever. That doesn't mean that, that it's guaranteed. Um, and it's, you know, it's really like, at the time when this happened, I couldn't possibly fathom that this was the right thing. But now I'm like, literally, thank God, thank God, because it was so the right thing. So yeah. Trust. You have— we have to trust. Like, that's been the biggest thing for me this year, and for sure the word of 2021 is trust.

Yeah, such a good word. I feel that too in my soul, of like everything that I feel like I've moved through in this year too, has— there's been a lot of need for trust and crazy faith, like believing even when it doesn't make sense. I love that idea, right? It's, it's easy to have faith and trust in the universe when you're already waking up inside a life that you love and that feels really great and aligned and smooth. And it's actually— it's, it's harder to hold the faith and the vision and the trust and the belief in God and the greater plan when that's not the case, when things are hard, right? But I think that's what, what we're, what we're meant to learn in those times is like, how do you maintain those beliefs that you are so deeply aligned with when things are going well, right?

Because when things are going well in our life, it's easy to be like, look what's possible, everything is available, look at the abundance, the love, the everything.

You can have this, you can do this, you're on the right path, trust, believe. And then you're like, world is crumbling down and everything that you thought you wanted and needed is, is not available. How do you trust in those moments, babe?

Those are the most important moments. Like, really, those are the moments where we get to see, am I actually embodying this work, or am I just talking a bunch of words from quotes? You know, like, that's where you actually see what, what we're made of. It's in those moments that it matters the most, the work that we've done. And we're going to find out real fast if we have done any real work, you know, or if we're just saying the things and not actually being that embodiment. So yeah, like, in the times of mess, in the times of crisis, that is where all of these spiritual tools and practices and belief systems come into place. Like, that's where it's like, time to go! Let's, let's actually use everything that we've been, um, talking about and working with. Like, that's it. That's like go time, right? That's like the most important time for us to be doing the spiritual work. Because if we don't, what happens in a crisis is we turn to vices, we escape, we avoid, we numb out, we throw ourselves into work, we push the healing further and further and further away. We have to go deep into it as soon as possible if we want to actually alchemize that pain and actually move through it into faith and into power and rise again. We have to go like deep, deep in. The sooner the better, um, because yeah, what, what we're used to, what the world has kind of made normal for us to do, is avoid pain, avoid feeling discomfort, avoid feeling grief, avoid feeling deep despair, and avoid rage. Especially for women, you know, we avoid feeling rage, so we just throw ourselves into work We go out drinking, we, I don't know, go and sleep with some random people, or whatever people do to avoid and escape. Um, and really on this path, it's like, no, the work is to go deep inside of yourself and do the deep healing work, um, and really allow ourselves to feel the grief so that we can move through it, to feel the rage, to feel the despair, to feel the— I don't know what the hell is going on in my life, but I'm still breathing, I'm still alive, so I'm gonna just put one foot forward in front of the other. Um, and really being with every single emotion that arises, I believe there's so much healing in that rather than pushing them down.

And I just have so much like respect and reverence for you, speaking of being like the embodiment of doing the work, right, and living this message of being able to witness firsthand, or at least close up, I guess I should say, of how you actually went about continuing to carry yourself even through like the deepest of despair. You know, like for everyone listening, it was a couple months into the mastermind when Mel's relationship crumbled, was ripped out from under her feet. The man that she was super in love with, I thought she was going to marry, that was her forever person and just suddenly was like, nope. You can't have this, it's not working, we're done. And you, you took space for yourself and you communicated your needs and you went into the jungle for 6 weeks and worked on your healing. And then you kept showing up, like you were even still there to, to guide us and help us and serve us. And I think that being able to witness that is such a testament to you being an embodiment of the work. I'm curious When you think about like, if this were to happen to you 10 or 15 years ago, what do you think would have been different?

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Oh my gosh, babe. 10, 15 years ago I was My gosh, yeah, I think I was just like partying, probably. Um, yeah, I just would have lost myself and gone out, gone out binge drinking, probably, you know. Um, rebounded into a new relationship immediately, you know, zero therapy, zero healing, zero clue what to do, just trying to fill the void, probably. But yeah, to to respond to, to what you said about showing up. I think it's, I think it's really important for us as leaders to show up even when it's messy, and also to know when to take space. There were times when that happened where I could not get out of bed, so I did not try and hold space for other people when I knew that I just really needed to hold myself. When I felt like, right, okay, I'm, I'm good now, like I can actually function, um, and I'm able to do my work, then I was like, it's important. It's like a— it's important lesson in leadership, I think, to be honest, because what we're doing inside the Queendom, um, and you know what I really believe we're doing period as entrepreneurs is we're we're showing up as leaders. And that's not just about growing our businesses, you know, that's about how we show up to lead, how we show up for our mission, how we show up for the vision that we have for the world. And I think it's important for my clients and my community to see me, um, to see me show up how I would want my, my leader or my coach to show up. Which is like in their fucking truth, in their whole truth, in their vulnerability and in their truth. No masks, no pretending, but just like, this is where I am, this is what I've got for you. And to me, that is, that is leadership, like still being able to show up.

And I think we, we also have this, um, we also have this idea that sometimes like being the bigger person or being strong means pushing it down or swallowing it or avoiding it. Like you said, a lot of women are afraid to go into the rage or the anger, especially as an emotion that we're kind of taught like, mm, not cute for you to, to do that. Um, but it's so powerful when you see leaders actually showing you that the way is through the feeling. The way to healing is through the feeling so that it gives permission for other people to stop pretending as well. Like, so many people are walking around in the world right now just pretending, trying to pretend that everything is okay, trying to pretend that they don't care, trying to pretend that they're not scared, trying to pretend that— what— how— whatever, right? Putting masks on. And so seeing these leaders that you admire and you look up to actually sit with you in the pain, take off the mask, and say, hey, you know what, like, me too, here's where I'm at, It just like, it's such a permission slip for other people and we need, yeah, we need more of that for sure.

Mm, yeah, absolutely, absolutely. I think it's just a really good reminder to not pedestal anyone, you know, to not think that someone has, is fully healed or has a perfect life. Like we're all human AF, we're all going through our stuff. So can we all go through it together and help each other along the way? Rather than everyone looking to me as if, well, she must have this perfect life and everything figured out. Like, no, I'm a human too. Like, we're all on this road together. Like, let's walk this road together, not, hey, follow me, I have all the answers.

Yeah, yeah, because like, who does, right? Who does anyway?

Exactly, exactly.

So speaking of leadership, let's kind of dive into leadership because I know this is like a really present theme for you. Um, with the Queendom and everything. And we talked a lot about this on the retreat. So the new paradigm of feminine leadership, what is, what is that? What does it look like for you? What does conscious female leadership mean to you when you say that? Like, what does that mean?

Yeah, to me that is embodiment. That is embodied leaders who are in tune with their spiritual path, who are really doing things for people and for the planet rather than just for themselves and for profit. Because when, when women lead, and especially when spiritual women lead, like, a lot of good shit happens on the planet. Communities are built, systems are completely overturned, healing centers are built, communities are woven and grown, you know, the way that we can lead from our softness and from our heart and from our vulnerability is really transformational, and it's well overdue. We've seen a lot of wounded masculine leadership. We've seen a lot of leadership, um, you know, that revolves around ego and greed and fear and distortion and corruption. You know, if we look at what's happened over the last 2 years with the pandemic. I mean, if any of our leaders were remotely embodied or in integrity or led from vulnerability and, you know, their hearts— if we could actually feel their hearts when they stood up on the stage or on the podium, can you imagine how much trust the people would have for them? Instead, there's zero trust now. Zero trust. In what these elected leaders are saying to us because we don't feel their hearts. So to me, conscious leadership, and especially conscious feminine leadership, is about literally leading from the heart, from the softness, from that vulnerability, and really knowing that the difference that we're making in the world is for the benefit of the collective, not just for our personal gain.

Mm, amen to that. Amen to that. Like, yes, so many yes. Chef's kiss. It's so true. Like, we were talking about this on the retreat and you were like, can you imagine if some of the leaders today like stood up on the thing and they were like, hey guys, just to let you know, we're not actually sure what's happening right now.

Exactly.

But we're gonna do our best, so here's what we're gonna try.

'But please know this is an evolving thing and we actually don't know.' Yeah, or even if they were like, 'Look, you know, it's probably a lab leak, you know, it's pro— it's— we're not gonna pretend.' Instead of like this whole thing about a wet market, I mean, come on, come on, people, you know, like 5 minutes down the road there's this lab that's doing experiments on the exact— with the exact same virus. I mean, It's just like, come on, like, just be freaking honest. We just need leaders to be a little more freaking honest, and that will help people trust them, you know. I think one of the biggest reasons the world is in the situation that it's in is we don't have any trust in our leaders because there's been so much, so much betrayal of that trust. So yeah, I think as women stepping into leadership roles in every single industry, there needs to be honesty. There needs to be vulnerability. There needs to be that because otherwise people don't trust it.

That's so true. It's so true. I mean, we— when we think about like why we trust the people that we trust in our regular lives, even, you know, it comes down to relationship building and feeling like you like them and feeling like you know them and you can see their heart and understand their emotions and where things are coming from. And, and so it sense. Like, that's what we need as humans, to be able to look at another human and be like, I feel like I can trust you, right? Because there's, there's an energy there, and it's so very clear when the energy of trust is not present. And I feel like that's what we've been experiencing a lot of. We're just like, I— like, I don't even care what you're saying because I already know that, like, the energy here is, like, not aligned. It's not embodied. There's no foundation for trust. So yeah, it's been, it's been interesting to see this play out in the world, but it's also not just been, um, you know, a lot of like negative things have happened. But I think one positive of it is that a lot of us are coming together with this idea of fixing this and creating a, a better world to live in. And you know what we're calling like the New Earth. Or whatever, right? Because we're stepping into this, this new, this new way of being, this new way of relating, this new way of leading. Um, you know, like, you're an Aquarius, which I think is cosmic as we're moving into the Age of Aquarius, which is all about like information and technology and really understanding what we are capable of and what we have access to. Moving out of the Age of Pisces that is ruled by Neptune, which is the planet of illusion and deception, which is so interesting. I was watching a TikTok about this that was so fascinating about this, like, this step into the new age. I don't know if people realize this, but we only ever move into a new age every 2,000 years. So probably everybody we've— well, no, definitely everybody we've ever known has never experienced this before. They've never experienced the, the world collectively moving into a new age because it only happens every 2,000 years. So, you know, we talk, we talk about how our souls chose to be here at this time right now for this moment, for this ascension. And it really is that because it's so rare. It's so rare that you get to experience this. And so we're moving away from that Age of Pisces energy, you know, the illusion, the deception where people really had to rely on idols and religions and governments to lead the way and give them the answers. And we're going towards unification and awakening and tearing down the false narratives and connecting so rapidly. Like, the technology that we have now is the reason that we're able to do this work, because our words and our messages are able to spread so much faster. So I know that you have a lot of feelings about the New Earth, so let's, let's talk about it a little bit. Like, what is your vision for where we're going and what this Great Awakening means?

Um, yeah, well, I think you said that all absolutely perfectly. And to me, you know, Age of Aquarius is also about technology, and we can see just how rapidly our technology is advancing. You know, we have like the metaverse, we have NFTs now, crypto. This has all just suddenly hit us, right? This has all come very quickly and it's going to keep accelerating very rapidly for us. So yes, the New Earth and the Age of Aquarius is going to have a lot of technology in it. We're not going to know what's hit us, which is why we need to also be expanding and awakening our consciousness rapidly so that we can actually keep up with that. If we don't keep up with that, I don't, I don't want to know where that goes. I, yeah, I don't like that idea. But if we can evolve and help the planet really awaken to their true power, to their true magic, to really remembering our place in the universe, then I really do think that we can work with technology. And I think we can actually use it to help us. So that's— those are the, the Age of Aquarius themes, as well as humanitarianism. Like, really, every single company in existence should serve the planet, and if it doesn't, then it doesn't belong anymore. That's, that's what I see for, like, our future. Like, every single company or business should have some kind of, um, why that actually gives back, that helps heal the planet in some way. So yeah, that's my vision for the New Earth, as well as like completely new systems. I see a lot of people living in communities. Yeah, I see a lot of community living. I see a lot of people choosing to lead themselves. I see new education systems for sure. I see a lot more collaboration, a lot more collaboration. And yeah, like I think the whole money system is going to change very quickly. So yeah, lots of change.

Yeah, it's wild. The, the money, the money conversation of how quickly we're changing into this kind of like digital— I mean, I don't want to say fake because it's not fake, but it feels fake right now because we're so used to something else. But it's such a testament to how, you know, we've been so used to so many other things in the past and we just adapt and grow with it. Like I'm sure when the internet came around, our parents were kind of like, you know, what is, what is this for? How is this going to work? And now our whole lives and literally everything that we do revolves around having internet access. So there's a lot of people that I think are probably scared of some of these versions of the New Earth, of like how money is changing and metaverse. Like there's been so many memes, I'm sure you've seen them going around, about how we're gonna live in the digital world and we're just gonna have those VR power things on our faces and be glued to a screen for our entire lives. And that creates this sort of like fear and resistance to moving with the times. But what I hear you saying is that it's important that we actually do flow with it and learn from it and go into it, because if we resist it, we will always be separate from it and we'll be left outside of it, and that will affect how much we can actually impact the population and help other people raise their consciousness and understand what we came here to do, right? We have to be in the quote-unquote system, if that's what we want to call it. We have to be in it in order to affect it, right? All we're trying to do is get out of it and escape the system or escape the Matrix, then sweet, maybe you feel better. But if you feel like you've been called here to be a leader of of sorts, then you gotta be in it or else you have nobody to lead.

I could not agree more. I could not agree more. And yeah, at the start of the pandemic, I was for sure in that mindset of like, gotta leave this, gotta leave the matrix, gotta leave the system, gotta live off the grid. Um, you know, gotta hand in my iPhone and get a Nokia, you know, like I was really, I was really actually like a stone's throw away from doing that. And yeah, I had that same realization, babe. I was like, literally, we're in the Age of Aquarius, which means we are meant to be— this is, this is, this is our destiny, right? We're meant to be moving into this new age together, not opting out of it, you know? So yeah, I absolutely agree with everything you just said.

Yeah. Okay, so I wanted to talk a little bit about some of the archetypes that we've covered. We obviously won't be able to go deep into it, but The Queen is of course a big one cuz we've been in the Queendom and the, the Queendom is, is open and more women are coming in and joining. And this is kind of your way of facilitating the new leaders of the new earth, right? So talk to us a little bit about what the Queen archetype is and how she leads and why it's like an important part of like your work and your brand.

Yeah, yeah, thank you, thank you. So yeah, the Queen archetype to me is the embodiment of feminine leadership from the heart, but also with divine masculine integrated, right? So she is able to lead from her center, from her heart, from her softness. And you know, one of the things about being in your Queen archetype is having like really good boundaries and really taking care of your energy, right? So that could be, you know, your, your crown jewels. Your energy is like the most sacred thing. So unlike the Huntress or Hustler archetype, which is like doing everything kind of like on the front lines of the battlefield, you know, the Queen is more sitting back and she's We know her well. Yes, the Queen is more the visionary, right? She's like casting the vision for the new world, and she's really enrolling the people into this vision and saying, this is where we're heading, this is the vision, this is where we're going. Um, and she also needs a team, you know, she's not doing it alone. The Hustler, um, or the Huntress is very much like so independent, gotta do everything myself, gotta be in control. Doesn't really accept help, whereas the Queen archetype really needs that team around her, needs the mentors, needs the guides, needs a big team to help her pull off this big vision and this, and this grand plan. So yeah, to me, the Queen archetype is really the embodiment of feminine leadership and on a real divine mission. You know, the Queen historically was chosen by God to be in that position. Right? So, and I really do think everyone who is stepping up into leadership right now, everyone who is answering the call, has been chosen for that, you know, is being spiritually guided. Um, so yeah, that's how I would describe— that's just a few elements of that I would describe the Queen, along, along with, you know, really knows her worth, has good, um, a relationship with abundance. Knows what she deserves, is able to call in what she deserves, doesn't take scraps, doesn't accept less than she deserves. I think that's, that's another really important piece.

Yeah. So we talked a lot about my relationship with the Huntress archetype on the retreat, and I know that you were kind of in your wounded huntress as well for a while early in business. And I think it's a place where, yeah, like a lot of people can get stuck in that kind of like huntress hustler, it's all up to me, everything is on my shoulders, I have to do this by myself, if I don't get it done then it won't get done, or nobody else can do it as good as I can do it so I'll just do it myself kind of energy. How did you begin to move out of that? You've helped me start to, A, realize that like that's a problem that I have, and B, like start to unravel that, unpack it, and find a way to like move in, move beyond it, right? And heal that. What was it— what was the journey like for you with that, moving out of the Huntress phase of building your business and more into Queen.

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Yeah, you know, I just remember realizing that I was constantly overwhelmed And the more money that I made and the more I grew my business, the, the more overwhelmed and stressed I seem to be. And I remember thinking to myself, God, like, what if I— like, just imagine how overwhelmed and stressed I'm going to be when I'm making millions. I don't want that reality. And so I actually decided I would rather be happier and more rested and more relaxed and more in my feminine and earn less. So I was like, I'm just gonna take my foot completely off the gas. I'm gonna, you know, stop just pressing and pushing further and further ahead and forcing things and cramming my schedule. I'm just gonna like actually let myself drop some balls and I'm just going to be okay with earning less. And what happened, to my absolute astound— astounding astoundedness, is that I ended up earning more, you know, and I actually felt more powerful and more in my power as a, as a woman and more in my power as a leader. And so yeah, that blew my mind, that blew my mind. And I was like, all right, well there's no going back now, no going back. And I literally now, like, I don't even allow that hustle energy anywhere into my life. Like, if there's like a little glimp— glimmer of it, I'm like, all right, something's out of alignment, we need to shift. Because it's like, what are we actually doing? Like, if, if we're spending our lives building these companies, building these empires and we're just constantly overwhelmed and stressed, then it doesn't really matter what we're doing because our energy all day is overwhelmed and stressed. So we keep— we tell ourselves this story of like, when I get to this point, then I won't be overwhelmed and stressed. When I get to $1 million, then I won't be overwhelmed and stressed. Or when I get to 6 figures, then I won't be. Or when I— no, no, it's a lie.

It's a lie.

It's a lie. It's a trap. It's a trap. You are choosing to be overwhelmed and stressed now, which means no matter how much you have, you will still be choosing to be overwhelmed and stressed. So you have to actually do the inner work and decide to be brave enough to let the balls drop, to allow yourself to prioritize your inner well-being, your health, your relationships. Um, you know, something that I always say is body first, business second, which means I do not even start my working day until I have done my morning practice, got my spiritual practice down, have healthy habits and routines, you know, because otherwise I'm just showing up in a, in a, in a chaotic energy. So yeah, yeah, does that answer the question?

It does, it more than answers it. And like, you're the— you've been the biggest inspiration for me with this because before being in the Queendom, I almost couldn't even see that this was— that this was going to be a problem, right? But you helped me identify, like, this is actually a bottleneck because you can't go further if everything is independent on your energy and your time and you always being there and doing everything yourself. Like, the reason that I have an assistant and I have help and my business has expanded and exploded so much is because of learning this lesson and starting to take baby steps towards that. Obviously, like, I still have a lot of work to do. You know this, the listeners of the podcast know this because I talk about it all the time. I'm like, my lesson is to do less. How do I do less? I need to do less. It's always doing less. Um, but I'm on the journey and I'm learning, and I'm so grateful to you and for you for teaching me that lesson and being such a beautiful example of how it actually works, you know, being able— you're an expander for a lot of people in that sense of being able to see that feminine leadership is not leading from a weak or soft place. It's actually really a woman who is in her strength, in her power, and receives more because of it. So I think that's the, the biggest thing of all, is that you can do less and receive more and put yourself first. So Body before business is my mantra for 2022, thanks to you.

So yes, yes, yes. And you know something, a mantra that really helped me, because at first I found do less extremely triggering. What helped me was do less but better, you know. So I was like, I'm gonna do less of all the things, but the things that I do do I'm going to take my time over and produce something better. You know, it takes 9 months in the womb for a baby to grow, right? And when we are birthing our creative projects into the world, it takes time. Like, we get to take our time over them, we get to nurture them and make sure that they are the best thing that they can be. We don't have to— where's this idea come from that we just have to push and churn and produce things constantly. That's not how the feminine works, you know. So for me, it was like, yes, do less, but in the doing less, make sure that the things that you produce are better, because they're better, they're more nurtured, they're more, you know, cherished and taken time over. And then when you actually do birth it into the world, it has more of a chance of making a big impact. As opposed to just producing a million different things from all angles and burning yourself out in the process.

I love it. Quantity over quality. We, we have to let go of this like weird addiction to productivity that we've been conditioned to have. Like, we, we love the idea of just being able to tick everything off a to-do list. It doesn't even matter, matter if the stuff on the to-do list is like fucking irrelevant or unhelpful.

We're like, I did everything on the list.

So now I feel better. Like, it's so, it's so, so silly. So yeah, that's been such a beautiful lesson that I've learned from you over our time together in the Queendom. And when this episode goes out, I know that the enrollment is going to be open for the new women, the new leaders that maybe want to take this journey with you and step into the Queendom for 12 months. So yeah, if you wanna tell them anything about it, I mean, I obviously loved it. I thought it was an incredible opportunity. So yeah, tell us just a little bit about the Queendom.

Oh, well, thank you for this opportunity. Yeah, so the Queendom is my 12-month mastermind. It's really for conscious female leaders who are making a big impact in the world or who know that they are here to make a big impact in the world, but who are not willing to keep doing it in that old way of hustling, of just go, go, go, um, and who are really ready to step into that next level of leadership and stop just seeing themselves like a woman with a business or a, or a, you know, small business owner or an entrepreneur, but actually step into, no, I'm a leader, like I'm here to actually lead and I want to actually embody that, you know. So a lot of the work that we do inside the Queendom is helping you step more into that Queen, um, archetype, which means hiring a team, which means raising your rates, which means, you know, not like getting out of the hustle and grind mentality so that you can step into being the visionary for your company instead. So yeah, everyone that joins the Queendom is for sure, um, a conscious individual who really cares about their people, who cares about their community. Um, and yeah, I really feel that we have such a beautiful sisterhood in there full of women who really love to collaborate, love to cheer each other on, and who are also making great money, um, and great impact in the world.

It's been such an amazing, incredible experience. I can't thank you enough for it. Like, it's fully changed my life and my business in so many ways. So Um, yeah, I'm honored to be able to have you share it with my audience. If anybody feels called, um, endorsed by me, for sure. Um, but thank you so much for your time, Mel. I feel like I could— well, I could talk to you forever, but, um, yeah, thank you so much for being here with us and sharing your wisdom with my audience. And let everybody know where they can find you and learn more from you and get into your world and see if maybe The Queendom or one of your other amazing programs— also, hello, Feminine Force, so fucking cool. We didn't— we didn't have time to talk about the other feminine archetypes, but yeah, where can people find you and connect with you?

Oh, thank you, love. Yeah, um, on Instagram, I'm @iammelwells, so come and say hi over there. And then yeah, my website is melwells.com. If you want to check out The Queendom, it's just melwells.com Queendom.

Thank you so much, Mel. It's been a pleasure.

Thank you so much, Sam. Love this conversation.