Healing Through Heartbreak: Love, Loss, & New Beginnings w/ Madison Rose

What's up, you guys? Welcome back to the podcast. In today's powerful episode, I am joined by one of the sweetest, most genuine human beings I've had the pleasure of connecting with in the online space. She's been on the show before and she's back again for a much-needed round two because the story of her life over the past 2 years is straight out of a soap opera. Today we are welcoming back Madison Rose for some deep storytelling, raw vulnerability, and an honest conversation about the delicate balance of holding immense love and unimaginable loss at the same time. Madison is an extraordinary manifestation expert who has achieved remarkable success through her unwavering dedication and profound understanding of manifestation principles. She manifested her dream marriage, a luxurious lifestyle in Manhattan's skyline, and a nearly million-dollar brand. As the youngest member of Bob Proctor's inner circle and one of his top consultants globally, Madison brings unparalleled expertise to her teachings, and her journey, which you will hear about today, is a testament to resilience, strength and unwavering faith. I want to issue a quick trigger warning before this episode that today some of the themes that we'll talk about revolve around grief, miscarriage, and suicide. So as we dive deep into Madison's story, she holds nothing back, and you're going to hear us chat about how to know when it's time to let a relationship go while keeping your heart open to love again, what to do if you are consistently wondering, but is this person really the Is this the one for me? Am I in that final relationship, or could there be something else? Could there be something better? How to seek clarity from a higher power. Getting engaged and pregnant really quickly and how to deal with other people's opinions of your timeline. Is it possible to only seek validation and permission from within? Navigating grief and what losing her dad in a sudden and traumatic way taught her about living an extraordinary life. How to master the ninja level of feeling your feelings, and how opening yourself up to the pain will ultimately allow you to experience more joy in your life. This episode will have you on the edge of your seat, and it's going to empower and inspire you in so many ways. By the end of it, I guarantee you're going to walk away with a newfound sense of what's truly important and the motivation to go out into the world and love harder and live bigger. All right. Let's dig in.

Welcome to the Makeshift Happen podcast. I'm your host, Samantha Daly, entrepreneur, life coach, and your no BS bestie, here to bring you all things mindset, manifestation, and personal development. This podcast is designed to help you expand your mind and uplevel your life.

So turn the volume up and roll the windows down if you're coming along for the ride. Let's go make shit happen.

Welcome to the show, Madison. Last time that you were here was in 2022. I just had to look back to see just where we were at because a lot has changed. And in that conversation, you know, we talked a lot about manifestation and The Invisible Side of Success, which was a great episode, by the way. For anyone that hasn't heard that, go back and listen to our first episode together. But so much has changed since then, and we are long overdue for a catch-up. You know, like, at that time, you were in a different relationship, you lived in a different place, um, and in just the past 2 years, it feels like you've lived several lifetimes. You know, you got engaged, you lost your dad who you were super close with, who we also talked about on our last episode. You got married, you got pregnant, you moved to New York City. Like, you're literally about to have this baby. I mean, like, talk about, like, death and rebirths and quantum leaping. So we're here for a catch-up to tell the stories, learn the lessons, be inspired by all the resilience, and really just kind of, like, bear witness to the transformation. And I'm so, so excited to dive into everything. So welcome back to the show.

Thank you. Oh my gosh, when you put it like that, it sounds like I've lived a decade in a year.

It's been a lot.

It's been a lot. It's been a whirlwind. But, you know, I think my spirit for some reason craves contrast and experiencing life, apparently. And so, yeah, it's been a quantum leap in all areas, truly, like mentally, emotionally, relationships, money. I mean, yeah, it feels like a veil was completely lifted. There's been so much growth, so much evolution. It's blown me away, to be honest. So I'm excited to dive in and break it down.

Yeah, yeah. I think we should start with how you met your husband because this feels like a really exciting place to begin. But to back it up just slightly before that, I'd love to know like your perspective on relationships ending? Obviously, you would have gotten out of a relationship before meeting your now husband. And I think this is, you know, something that's going to be really valuable for a lot of people, just this idea of like how to know when it's time to let a relationship go or move on and kind of like handling those endings while keeping your heart open to love again.

Very good question. So I'm going to spill the tea. We, when my husband now and I met, we were actually both in relationships and we're removed from this now, so we're okay sharing it. Um, but we were both in non-fulfilling relationships. I had ended mine 6 months prior and then weeble wobbled back and forth during, you know, the questioning of, oh no, is that the right decision? Did I make a mistake? This is a really good person. You know, I really care about this person. I could make it work. Like, I'm willing to make it work, but how do I know? Like, I didn't, I didn't want to, I didn't want it. I'm always thinking from the end of my life, even before my dad passed. Um, but I was just like, I don't want to look back when I'm 99 years old and be like, yeah, it was okay, but I wish I would have taken a chance. And, and sacrifice good for maybe even better. And so that would not leave my head, like it wouldn't leave my head. It was a good relationship, you know, there was no toxicity, there was no reason to quote unquote end the relationship. No relationship is, you know, picture perfect. There, however, was just something in my spirit, in my heart, in the back of my mind is how I can explain it, that was just a little nudge that would not go away, like, there's something different out there for you. This is not your perfect match. Um, also when I asked myself some pretty serious questions of like, you know, I was getting ready for motherhood. I mean, this was, you know, 2 and a half, 3 years ago now, but I was starting to really think about motherhood and raising a family. And at that point, you know, I was the breadwinner and, um, the option of wanting to stay home with kids or not having the stress of finances plus being a full-time mama was like, I would've had to have done both. And I couldn't see how that was easily going to happen in, in my current situation. And when I asked myself the question of like, do I see myself raising a family with this person? Like I had— there were, there were just innate concerns that I had about that, you know. Do I feel like this person can, you know, provide for me and the family? Do we want the same lifestyle? Do we have the same timeline? And there was a lot of things in those big questions that were misaligned. So I was not— I was not willing to wonder my whole life. And so when it ended the first time, there was the weeble wobble of like, you know, the fear, the doubt, the worry, etc. I had prayed a prayer after we got back together. I had been like praying my butt off. I was new to my relationship with God at that time, 3 years ago or so. And I prayed a prayer. I was like, you know, it was very informal, but I was like, dear Lord, like, if this is not the person that you want me to invest my love, my time, my soul, my heart into for the rest of my life, then I need you to make it known and make it clear to me, because I'm about to be all in, and I'm about to shut off this, this little nudge that keeps coming on up. Like, I'm about to shut the door to it completely. So if that's not what you want me to do, I need you to make it known. And I prayed that prayer like with the most conviction and the most passion that I've ever said a prayer out loud because I did not— I didn't want to stay in the weeble wobble. That's not fun. That's not fair to the other person either. If you're not all in, what are you doing? And I also didn't want to fully invest myself and in 10 years be like, oh my God, what did I do? So I prayed that prayer, and a month later Dalton and I were sitting next to each other, um, in Miami, and very professional, very just business we kept the lines squeaky, squeaky clean, but they were undeniable. Like, it was just undeniable. The connection, the spark, the morals, the values, like what he wanted, what I wanted. And it was just through normal conversation that we kind of figured that out. And I don't know where you want me to stop, but that's like the first segment of it.

Don't stop. I'm on the edge of my seat now. Okay, so for anyone, for everyone following along, Dalton is your, is your husband now. Yes. This is, this is where you kind of first have the encounter with this new man where you're like, okay, this is someone who has really similar values to me. But at the time, are you still in relationship with your past partner even though you've been praying for clarity on like whether that's actually it or not?

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Yeah, I was, I was looking for confirmation because, and it's tough, right? Because when I'm speaking to people who are in relationships, like, obviously I am, I am pro, like, you know, morals, values, like ethics, like let's be good people, let's keep things clean. And I feel like before you are married in the eyes of God, and I'm not religious, but I'm spiritual and I have a relationship with God, I think that you are single until married. I really, really do. And unless the man, in my opinion, is putting a ring on your finger and progressing the relationship, as a woman, like, we have, we have desires to either, you know, have babies or to not. And I think that's also different. Like, I knew that I wanted to have babies, and I knew that I wanted to raise a family and build a life with someone, and that was not something that I was willing to, like, really sacrifice and I knew that our timelines were just not— they just weren't adding up. So for me, it was, it was very important. And as the woman in the relationship, it was my responsibility to myself to either stay or change. But I didn't want to do the weeble wobble anymore. And so when I prayed that prayer, I was really looking for confirmation, and I received confirmation in a bunch of different ways. So I was either looking for confirmation of like, yes, this is the person, like dive in. Like, like, get back in the lane. Like, this is your person. You're going to spend the rest of your life with this person, and it's going to work out in a way that is going to be better than you even imagined. And I remember even telling God, like, listen, if babies and stuff isn't in the plan for me, like, I will adopt the world as my children. I'll do what I do for the rest of my life. Like, I don't need to have children. I think I want to. But if you have something better in store for me, like, just give me confirmation. And so when we met, when Dalton and I met in Miami, had no idea who he even was, had no idea he was even going. It was my dad's event, which is crazy knowing what you know. It's my dad's business event. He hadn't even told me that there was someone even remotely close to my age going. I had no idea. And so when he walked in the room, obviously his appearance caught my attention, but I was in a relationship and I was not available. In that sense, or even thinking of like looking for someone at all. So I sit down at the table and the way that the seating plan worked out, it was Dalton, my mom, me, and then other people. And what happened was my mom and I ended up like crosstalking a lot because I was talking to the younger side of the table and she was talking to the older side of the table. And so it made sense like we were literally just like yelling across. So we switched seats and that put me right next to Dalton. So we just got to know each other. He's like, you know, I was in the NFL, blah, blah, blah. Now I'm in business transition. I told him my story. So it was like mutual respect right away. And I was like, wow, this is a really cool person. And that was as far as it went. Over the next 3 to 4 days over the mastermind through like different, you know, bump-ins or like, you know, at different settings during the Mastermind Experience, it just became so clear to me like, okay, there are matches out there that are way more clear than I— than I— way more aligned than I ever imagined. And having conversations with him and seeing that that existed was my confirmation. And I already knew that before we even decided on anything or talked about anything, or I even knew that he was remotely interested in me, his presence was my confirmation that I was praying for. And so I already knew in my mind before it went even any further that when I got home, I knew exactly what I was going to do.

Like, whether it was him, whether it was going to be him or somebody else, it was just the confirmation of like, there are more aligned people out there in the world for me. It's time for me to close the door on this thing that I've already been feeling and sensing is not fully, you know, my best match.

A million percent. And because I had set that intention, whether it's an intention or a prayer or like whatever people feel, feel comfortable with, for me it was out loud on my knees in my bedroom, like, I don't want to waste time, Lord. If you're real, if you exist, and if you've got my back, like, show me what— show me what's up. And so when that experience and that encounter happened, I just knew in my bones and my body that it was my confirmation. Which was really liberating and, and really cool. And so fast forward to the end of the event, we were at, uh, Puttshack, which is like an indoor mini golf thing. And everyone was there. They teamed us up and he, Dalton came over to me and he's like, you know, what is this? He's like, what is this? And I was like, what do you mean? Like before him saying that, it was very like, I don't know the word, amicable, like very professional, like, and he comes over and he's like, what is this? And I was like, I knew what he was talking about because I felt it, right? But I was like, he's in a relationship. Like I already found this out. I'm not crossing any lines here. And like morally, ethically, like I, I don't know how to answer this. So my response was I think I was like, on what level do you want me to answer that question? Like, what are you really asking me here? And he kind of like smiles and laughs and like shook his head. And it was just unspoken. Like, from that point, we were like, got it. Okay, we're both on the same page. We feel the same way. Like, the energy is so clear. We kept things squeaky clean until the end of the event and going home. Um, over a conversation, I was like, you know, if this is what we think it is— I mean, this is crazy. Like, this sounds crazy, me speaking out loud, but this is truly how it went down. It was just undeniable. And at the end of the event, I was, I was like, you know, if this is what we think it is, I don't want to start it off in muddy waters. So like, let's keep things super clean. You go home, I go home. Like no physical, no nothing. Um, I think part of me knew I was going to be telling the story at some point and I didn't want to have to, to fudge the story over and over again. And so we were like, you know, if you clean up your side of the fence, send a thumbs up. And if you clean up your side of the fence, send, send a thumbs up. I went home with my confirmation and that night had the hard conversation, but never sent my thumbs up because as the woman, I believe we're the magnet of the relationship, and I didn't want to play any games. So if he was available, great. If he wasn't, great. Again, I had my peace and my clarity and I knew what I was doing. So like 4 days later, I got my thumbs up from Dalton. I sent him mine back and I was like, it's about time. And then from there, um, yeah, from there things just took off like wildfire.

Wow. Oh my God. Wait, I'm so glad we told this whole story because it's crazy. And there's so many people that I know resonate with this feeling of kind of being one foot in, one foot out in a relationship, and just really struggling to find that, like, peace in their heart of knowing what the right decision is. And whether that decision is to stay, because sometimes it is, or it's to go, because sometimes it is. I think, you know, what you're sharing here is really valuable in the sense of having the courage to ask a higher power outside of yourself and really seek that clarity instead of just moving through, continuing to move through the motions of life and letting life sway you into what is most comfortable as, or what is the easiest, or what just naturally kind of is going to happen for you. Because the best things that we get out of life always require courage. And so I think it's even just the courage to ask, the courage to put it out there, the courage to say like, I'm available for this to be wrong for me. If it's wrong for me, let me know, make it clear. And so I love that you shared that, that part of it. And I just— yeah, I love love. So I love stories that are like, you know, kind of like love at first sight vibes, which feels like what it sort of was with you guys.

Oh my God. Yeah, it was undeniable. We knew we were— yeah, we knew we were getting married like that week. It was crazy. It was crazy. Yeah, we, we, we knew right away.

Wow. Oh my God. Okay, wait, so where did he live? Where did you live? Like, once the other relationships ended and you guys were like, okay, let's explore, let's see what this is like. How did you begin the relationship?

So there were some things to clean up, of course. And this is where I was very sturdy in my boundaries. Again, I believe the woman sets the standard of the relationship and the man either rises— the man either rises to that or doesn't. And either way is good for the woman. I was not in a chasing energy. I was not in a 'this needs to work out, this needs to be the one' energy. Again, I was very open. He came into my life as my confirmation, and I had no other agenda or no other strings attached. It just so happened that it evolved and, and built over time and sparked into what it is today, right? Um, but there was some things that had to be cleaned up with moving and all the things on my end. It was really easy because the person just moved out right away. Um, I, you know, I was earning, earning well, and so I could, I could do that sort of thing. Um, on his side, it was a little bit muddier, and so I just set the boundary of what was okay with me and what wasn't okay with me, and he rose to that every single time, which for me was just confirmation over and over and over again of him rising to me and, um, him showing up for what this was going to be. The other thing is I made it very clear from the beginning of what I was looking for and what I was ready for. I was like, I want to get married within the next year. I'm ready for babies. I want to build an empire with somebody. I want a partner to run with in life. Like, this is where I'm at. And if that's not you, that's fine. But I just need you to know, like, I'm not expecting to date for 2 years and then get married. Like, I am looking for my husband and I want to have kids within the next 2 years. And I'm a beast and a badass in business as well. And so let's build an empire together. Like, I was very, very clear because my conviction with, honestly, God, Source, whatever you want to call it— I say God, especially now after my father passed— but my relationship and the feeling that I had being so close to God and so close to Source, like, nothing was worth me going away from that. Like, anything that would bring me out of that zone called the God Zone or out of alignment with my higher self or where I wanted to go, I was just like, it's a no. And I'm fine for whatever is available on the other side, but that's a no. And I'm not doing anything mediocre anymore. Like nothing. Nothing is going to be blah baloney in my life anymore. It's either going to be 100% full body yes, or I'd rather be by myself. 100% full body yes, or I'd rather do something else. Like no more spending time in the gray zone. And so we cleaned things up. I ended up moving back to Massachusetts. He ended up, you know, figuring out his living situation in New York City. Um, and we lived apart until we got married a year later, January 2023. So last year, this year, what's this year? January 2024.

Like, what is the timeline? It all happened so fast.

So we met January 2023. We got married January 2024, this year. And after, uh, we moved in like a together a week before we got legally married. That was very important to me. That was another boundary that I had set for myself just because I didn't wanna waste time again. Um, and we moved into, to this apartment here in, in January of this year and got pregnant accidentally, but not accidentally, 3 months later. And now we're about to have a baby. In November.

And that's, that's the story, folks.

That's the story. I mean, it was just like, if I really think about the theme of it all, it was me not being afraid to lose him. And because of that, I could set very clear boundaries for myself and what I wanted. Um, I think people have to be available for not getting exactly what they want when they want it. And I was open to that because I just realized my way was not the way. I had thought I manifested, you know, whenever you get into a new relationship, it's fun, you're hopeful, right? But I had thought I had manifested that person before, and it was not— like, very clearly was not. I was like, I surrender. Like, I clearly don't know what I'm doing. I clearly don't know what's best for me. Hopefully you can see things that I can't, and I'm gonna trust in that.

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Yeah, just being so convicted in what you wanted and having what was ultimately going to be right for you, even if it wasn't the thing that you were desiring at the moment. Like going into a new relationship and not needing it to be the one, not needing it to be the person that you marry, because you're so much more married to the idea of like, I want what's ultimately best for me. And so if this is not that, then why would I have any attachment to it?

And the other person too. And I think this is next level, like, emotional maturity. Like, it's not only what's best for me, but it's what's best for the other person as well. Like, I want to be the best thing since sliced bread for someone, and I want to feel the same way about them. And if it's not that, I don't want any of it. Like, what's the point of being in a mediocre relationship and always wondering if there's better? I don't want to wonder if there's better. Yeah.

What was the— because it's always fun to kind of like see how other people respond and react to love stories that are kind of fast and furious like this one. What were some of the reactions or responses that you guys got from people both getting out of relationships and then coming together. Like, there wasn't— it wasn't like you were single for a year and then met this person. So people have hang-ups about that, about going from one relationship to the next. But then also, you know, getting married within a year, getting pregnant immediately, like, you're disrupting a lot of the traditional kind of timelines of what— how people think the world should work, or how they think relationships and love should work. So I'm curious about, yeah, what some of those reactions, um, or responses were that you guys got. And maybe they were all fabulous, but like, what did that feel like to tell other people, like, I know this sounds crazy, but like, I trust myself, so you have to trust me.

So what's unique about our situation was because it was my dad's business event, my mom actually worked for my dad at that time, so both of my parents actually met Dalton before I did. So they both knew his character. They both knew his background. And they were also there when we met. And apparently it was just like the energy that was going back and forth between us, even during normal conversations. People were talking about it, like, what's going on over there? I remember my dad— not my dad, my mom came up to me at the event and she's like, comes into my ear and she's like, Um, what are you doing? I was like, I'm not doing anything. Like, what do you mean? And, you know, I think the only reason why I would have any guilt around this is if it wasn't also like a God thing. And if I hadn't prayed for confirmation and if I knew that I like really hurt someone, but I believe truly in my heart that if you're in a relationship that feels not so great to you, there's a better version of that for the other person as well. And so. In the liberation of our, of the previous relationship. It's like there was a win on, on both sides. Like, if it's not right on one side, it's not right on the other, even if they don't realize it yet. Um, but the reactions we got from people were really great. I got some weird reactions from, um, some people online and some friends, like some girlfriends online. I got some weird reactions like, hey, don't you think you should be single for a while? Or 'Hey, don't you think you should do this?' And, um, when— what I can say is that when you are so rooted in your alignment with yourself and with, with higher power, with God, like, it doesn't matter what people say. There's no validation needed. And I think when you're so sure and you're so secure, like, I don't I am such a secure person in myself. I can handle myself. You know, I wasn't going to people saying, what do you think about this guy? Or, you know, what's your opinion on what I'm doing? Like, no, like, no, I don't need that. I did not look for that. And so I think what happens in those situations for other people is they do go looking for confirmation because they don't have it from God or from themselves. And when you do that, obviously you're going to be met with whatever that person's experiences are in the past and whatever they know to date that's happened to them or that they've seen. So because I didn't go looking for confirmation anywhere, I think, you know, I was just met with support 95% of the time.

Yeah, yeah, so beautiful. I see, you know, we see that happen a lot, whether it's with relationships but also with investments, with business, which I'm sure you also see and are so familiar with in this space of, you know, asking for permission sometimes can get you in trouble if you're not asking the right people for their permission, you know. So if it, you know, there's, there's no reason to ask for someone's opinion of your life or your relationship or your investment or your business, or to ask for their permission if they think that this is a good guy, or if they think it's a good idea or a good career move or whatever, if, you know, they don't have exactly what you want or have walked the path or where you want to be. And I always say self-trust is my number one business strategy, and it's really just my number one strategy in life, which I know it sounds like you live your life in that way as well, of like having that deeply rooted and anchored trust within yourself because you have that spiritual connection, because you have that relationship with God and a higher power. It's like you don't need anyone else's opinion, you don't need anyone else's voice because you know that all of that is going through the filter of their experiences, the ways that they've been burned, what they've seen, their trauma, their upsets, their challenges, what they've seen work, what they believe to be true. Like, you're gonna get all of that filtration when you ask someone else for their permission. And most of the time, almost all the time, you don't need that. Like, that's not even of your highest interest to, to be concerned about what they would do or what they would think. So Totally resonate with that, of just like, even when you're making a decision that might seem crazy to other people, when you know it's what's right for you, there's no need to ask.

And you only learn that through trial and error, right? It's like the first move you make where you're really trusting yourself. You know, I've made courageous leaps where it didn't work out. Like my first business investment was terrible. You know, I paid to have this whole sales team tacked on to my business because we had a huge cash month and I thought, oh, I need to hire like all these bells and whistles. And you know, it was multi-five-figure investment that through trial of trusting myself, I realized through that experience, oh, that was a decision and a, and a courageous move. Yeah. But it was made out of the fear of not continuing big cash months, or it was made out of the, the like a— it came from a lack place of like, I need to do this because this is what everybody else is doing. And it didn't come from my heart or my center. And so even that taught me, right? But it's like, if you never start making courageous leaps and you're not willing to see what works and what doesn't, it's like, how do you ever know yourself? You know, how do you ever know what, what, what the call is and what isn't? It's like you have to start testing it out at some point.

Yeah, yeah. Flexing that muscle and practicing it so that it can be more deeply rooted. You said said something earlier that was interesting about how, you know, you feel that your relationship is even stronger now since losing your dad, which is interesting, I think, for a couple of reasons. But I think a lot of people, when they go through immense grief or loss, um, where they lose people that they weren't expecting to lose, or, you know, something tragic happens in their life, I think oftentimes it can create a loss of faith. It can create a lot of confusion around why me, why this, why is this happening, why, why would God ever want this to be, you know, what's unfolding in my life. So I think it's interesting and equally beautiful that, you know, you feel that that relationship has been strengthened through something as terrible and painful as losing your dad, who is someone that you were really close with. You know, when we recorded our first episode, I remember you talking about him so much and how he, he played such a huge role in your, you know, entry into the personal development space and everything with, you know, you working with Bob Proctor and like all of that. Like, your dad was such a huge gateway and such a key for you. And I believe he's someone that you really look up looked up to and like admired a lot in life. And so, yeah, I'm interested to hear how amongst all of these other beautiful things that were happening in your life, but also a lot of change, and then this kind of, you know, hits you like a ton of bricks. What was that like? I mean, you're already getting into a new relationship, you're moving, you're getting engaged, like all these things are changing. And then also you lose your dad, who was such like a pillar in your life?

Yeah. So we lost Dad 3 months before our wedding, a little under 3 months before our wedding. So a little bit of context. I am having the best year of my life. Simultaneously, my dad is having the worst year of his life. And additional context to his kind of unravel. It was, it was a financial unravel that led to, you know, anxiety, depression, self-doubt, you know, questioning his worth, questioning, you know, what, you know, what he, his value on Earth, really feeling like a burden, feeling like he couldn't show up in a way that people expected him to show up anymore financially. Um, and when I found out he passed, it's actually weird to think about now. I had had two very early miscarries that fall before he passed, so fall of 2020, uh, 3. And in a way, I feel like those two miscarries prepared me for my dad's death. Fast forward 2 weeks before he passed, I had a 51-minute phone conversation with him. And on that phone conversation, first of all, it was the longest conversation we've ever had on the phone, and that was personal, not to do with business. And secondly, I got off that phone call with the most gut-wrenching feeling in my body. And I knew that he didn't want to be on the— on Earth anymore. Like, truly, I knew it in my bones. But it was one of those things where you know it, but you obviously don't want to believe it. And so you kind of like talk yourself out of what you're feeling. Um, I went to go call my mom right away, bawling my eyes out, and then I stopped myself because I didn't want to freak her out. Because in the chance that I'm wrong, I don't want to be overdramatic, like Whatever. So I calmed myself down, called her, told her what I thought was going on and that what I thought she needed to do to support him. My dad and my mom were always friends, even though they were divorced. They always maintained, you know, contact and were very good friends. Never fought, never any toxicity ever. They were great. And so fast forward 2 weeks after that, you know, me having the inkling, me calling his dad, calling my mom, telling them what I thought they needed to do to support him, doing what I thought I needed to do to support him. Um, 2 weeks later, when my mom walked in the door in Sarasota, Florida, unexpected, uh, with tears rolling down her face, you know, I just knew. I, I was like, Dad's dead? And she was like, yep. And I was like, yeah, and he took his own life, didn't he? And she was like, yep. And I was like, and then I continued guessing what happened and I was right. Every, every bit of it, I was spot on. You know, I have always had this thing in me that I want to live an extraordinary life no matter what. I've always had that since a little girl. Like, I've always wanted to live a beautiful life. And I'm grateful that I've always had that because when he passed, you know, that was the darkest day of my life. It was also probably the most beautiful day of my life because the first thing that came to me was like, this will not change me for the worst. This will not take away my joy in life. This will not shake me in a negative way. Like in a split second, honestly, I just decided, like right then and there, unconsciously, subconsciously, in the back of my mind, it's just a decision. Like, I literally remember— it's so weird how traumatic experiences, like, you can remember every single detail. I literally remember before I, like, fell to my knees thinking, like, this will not break me, this will not change me. Um, and then obviously going through that day and just like letting out— oh my God, talk about, talk about, uh, cleansing. Oh my God, it was crazy. I didn't know I could feel the emotions that I felt that day. And through the pain of realizing and coming to terms with what had happened and what he decided to do I remember just feeling like, okay, like now all I have is my Heavenly Father. Like, my Earth father left, and I've got one— like, my dad, and you know this from our previous conversations, you know, I ran everything by my dad. Every move that I made, I ran everything by him. In a lot of ways, you know, he was my mentor and my guide for a very long time. And so when he passed, it was— it became abundantly clear to me. And I even like heard God in the back of my mind be like, now I'm your father. Like, it's me. I am— I'm your heavenly father. Now you lean on me. Now I have all of you. You're in my hands. Like, lean over here. And so I just remember like honestly clinging to the presence of the Holy Spirit that day, which is just peace and love and not necessarily clarity, but it doesn't matter because you have so much peace come over you. And I remember praying for that, like, um, 5 years before this, some, some like healer told me to have the Holy Spirit come over you. All you need to say is, Holy Spirit, be one with me. And so for some reason that came like boomeranging back in that moment, and I was just praying for peace, like through tears and cries. I was just like, peace, like all I want is peace because what had happened was so dark. And honestly, I saw how— I felt how dark it was, and I could see how dark it was. And I was terrified of like getting stuck in that darkness and getting stuck in, in the grieving of it, in the, in the depths, in the, the terror of it, like the horror of it. I was terrified of staying there. So I was just like praying for peace, praying for God's presence, praying to be one with the Holy Spirit. Like, it was, it was wild. It was, it was absolutely wild. But to answer your question in one sentence, I decided that day that it was not going to break me because I've always wanted to live an extraordinary life. And I don't think that anyone has the right to take that away from me. And I don't want to let anyone take that away from me, you know, not even, not even my dad.

Yeah, and he definitely wouldn't want to take that away from you, you know, like that would never be his intention. I'm curious what you feel like that, you know, grief is ongoing, so I'm sure that there are still many moments, especially your wedding day, and you know, as you get closer to having this baby, like there's— I'm sure there's, you know, moments where the grief comes and goes in waves. I'm curious to know what you feel like you've learned the most from the grief, whether it's like about yourself or about the world. Like, what do you feel like this season really taught you or like really solidified for you?

It's a big question. Um, grief is a journey. We were— anytime we're like in the car and country music or like slow music comes on, I almost always have like a really cleansing cry. That hasn't, you know, necessarily gone away. I'm not afraid of them. I feel like it's going to be with me forever, my whole life. But I'm not mad about it. And the reason I'm not mad about it is because allowing myself to, to not numb the pain of it I think has also tremendously allowed me to enjoy life more, like truly just appreciate life more, feel more alive. You know, when my life is good, when I'm good, it's phenomenal. And when I'm reminded of— sometimes it's just like the veil drops of what happened, and it is horrific, and it is devastating, and it is in the human experience tragic and dark, like to the extreme. And so when the veil in my brain drops and exposes me to that, which it does from time to time, just like little triggers or slow music, or— God, we've gone to 10 freaking weddings this year. Every father-daughter dance, major trigger for me. Um, But I'm reminded of how beautiful life is in the sense of the scale of emotion that we get to experience being in our human body. I think it's going to make me, and has made me, a better mother. I have more empathy for people. I understand how fragile people are. I'm a better listener. I trust my intuition more when I have an inkling, when I have a I call people out. I hold them accountable. I don't let people off the hook. You know, it's something I knew my dad was, was unraveling that whole year. But he's my dad and he knows what he's doing and he's got it covered. And he's never— he's always had it covered. And he's, you know, always telling me he's happy and he's always telling me he's good. But I always had this inkling of like, something's off. Something's not right. And I allowed his words to, okay, shut me up then. And I don't do that anymore. I do not do that anymore. So with clients, with my family, with people that I love, with my relationship, if there is anything unsettled, I'm like, let's dig down. Let's get to the bottom of it now. Not tomorrow. Now. Like, no, it's not worth living in limbo. And this goes back to the relationship situation we were talking about. It's not worth having things under the surface and not being on the same page with someone or feeling like someone's off and not solving it in the moment or coming up with a plan to solve it. Like, life is happening right now and people just want to escape their emotion and mask it and mask it and mask it and mask it. Well, guess what? Eventually that ends up being a burden that's so freaking heavy that you're in anxiety and depression, and the next thing you know, you're thinking about taking your own life, right? It's like things compound very quickly in a negative direction, especially. And so not plucking those things out, I think I've just become a lot more caring and a lot more relentless in a way when it comes to people living joyful lives. Like, if there is anything taking away from you being in your joy, like, freaking get rid of it. Get rid of it now. Like, if you have people in your life that are toxic, get the bleep rid of them. If you have a business, if you're in business and you don't love it, liquidate it. Liquidate the freaking thing. Go get a job at a shack by the beach and work there for a year. And fall in love with life again and get excited again. Like, downsize your living. One thing will lead to the next. You'll build a life of alignment and joy and love and God. And it can be beautiful. But people are so afraid to take steps back in the eyes of the public. It's like they're so afraid to— God forbid you get a car that's less expensive than you had before. God forbid you downsize your house. God forbid you move back to where you're from. Like, who the bleep cares? Who cares? Like, nothing, nothing is worth living a life that feels aligned for yourself. And it was a compound effect of that for my dad. It was like living to prove to society, living to prove to our family, living to prove that, you know, he did become the first multimillionaire in our, in our family, but like, then he couldn't fall below that. He did not know how to fall below that. He did not know how to tell people like, I took a massive hit this year and I can't pay for your rent anymore and I can't do this over here anymore, you know? So that's what I've learned. I'm very passionate about this and I just— I think it's stupid wasting time when you're not like happy and when you don't have people around you supporting you and loving you and you're in a mediocre relationship like you're here one time. And it's so short and it goes by so fast. And it's, it's maybe a little season of discomfort that you'll have to go through when you make a courageous leap and you cut people out of your life or you downsize your business or whatever the move is that you know you need to get rid of, you know, you need to change, whatever that is. It's like a season of discomfort, a season of, okay, ouch, that hurts my ego for a lifetime of prosperity on the other side of it. But people are not willing to walk through the valleys of building character and being humbled. And like, my dad certainly wasn't. He would have literally rather have died than go through a humbling season in front of the world.

It's wild to think about how strong our ego can be sometimes, of wanting to shield us from that shame or the embarrassment or whatever we think it is that we're going to have to face in order to get through the thing. And so we'd rather just take the exit ramp. And, you know, whatever that exit ramp is for people, you know, there's a lot of exit ramps that people take, which is just a way of saying, I'd rather sit in the shit of my life or of this situation or of this relationship or of this job or of this circumstance or whatever than admit that I made a mistake, admit that I fucked up in some way, admit that I might be part of this problem. I might be part of this pattern. Like, that's the last thing that people want to do, and that is the way through most of the time, is being able to really, really look at yourself and your life and everything around you and go, all right, what is— what is here that is no longer serving me? It may have at one point, but it's obviously not doing great things for me now. And can I get out of my own way to start to eliminate those things so that I can back into alignment and find that, that place in the sun again where, you know, it just feels like you're standing in the light. Um, I'm sure this has strengthened your mission even further. You know, I— like, you were convicted before, but I'm sure that this has strengthened it even further for you of like, life is short, you know? Like, make sure that you make the most of your time. Find a way to be joyful. Cut out the things that aren't working. End relationships if they don't feel correct, like apologize, forgive, you know, say you're sorry, make the phone call. All those things that we hear all the time, when you have an experience like this in your life of what you went through, it's like so, so clear on an even deeper level of just— and I think it's gonna make you, or has made you, so much more present to life. Like you said, being able to keep your heart open even in the seasons and the waves of grief, like not closing yourself off, not trying to numb, not trying to not feel, but actually just being like open and raw and willing to feel it all means that you can experience those other moments of elation, of joy, of excitement, of bliss, of love. You know, you've married your soulmate, you're bringing a baby into the world, like miracles, you know, and like actually being able to feel and know the weight of those miracles because you're willing to feel and know the weight of the pain.

Yeah, there's something to be said about feeling pain. I am like not afraid of feeling pain anymore. People ask me if I'm afraid of birth, I'm like, no, no, like give me physical pain all day. Like the amount of emotional pain I've walked through, like birth is gonna be fine. Um, I'll keep you posted, but it's, it's, it is really beautiful if you really let yourself just kind of feel, just be more available to feel what's moving through you. You know, I remember when he first passed, they were obviously a lot more frequent, and when the veil, as I explain it, would drop it would be like, I've got to go somewhere private because I'm about to scream at the top of my lungs. And it's like uncontrollable, like, and it would give me anxiety. Like if we were in restaurants or out in public, I would start to have anxiety and have this like emotional bubble build up to my chest. And I knew like that was always my indicator of like, I need to go give myself some space to let out the emotion that's built up within me because I can like, I can feel it. One thing that helped me, because obviously it's like, well, how do you allow yourself to feel emotion that's built up within you? You know, I didn't know how to do it either until I had to figure it out because I didn't want it to— again, I didn't want it to change me for the worst. And I knew I had heard stories about people who never grieved properly, who, you know, I've talked to people who lost their parents to suicide or a parent or a loved one to suicide, and they're still pissed off about it 10 years later. You know, and it's closed them off to love in so many areas of their life. They're still bitter about it and they're still blaming the person for it. And I'm like, oh my gosh, like, you only have one life and you're spending a decade of it mad. Like, that is even sadder to me than, than losing the person to suicide. Like, you're still alive, you know? Um, and so what I would do is I would give myself space. I would play the song that my dad and I were supposed to dance to. At my wedding. Yeah, it's, it's rough. And I laugh and I'm about to lose it. So, and I would just like let myself just like feel and just be there and whatever would come up, you know, it would come up. And that became like my little ritual to ensure that I was just constantly taking responsibility for what I was you know, going through and not just hoping that I grieved properly or like hoping that I was fine at the end of, at the end of the grief process, which never ends. It was like, no, let me take responsibility and, and give my spirit, give my heart a place at least once a week where I can just be with my dad and, you know, deal. So that worked very well for me.

Um, I'm no expert in it, but that's ninja level. Ninja level of feeling your feelings, you guys. Wow, that just like made me cry just thinking about how painful that must have been. So I believe you, and I see you when you say like you're not a stranger to the pain, and you've invited it in so that you can also be open to all of the joy and everything else that you know, is happening for you in your life. I think— thank you so much for sharing this story because I know that, um, yeah, it's still very much alive, it's still very recent. Um, I admire so much the way that you have walked this path and this journey and, you know, sharing about it online and just the way that you write and the transparency and even, you know, coming on the podcast to talk about it and just being so, yeah, so ready and so open because you know the power that it has to help others, encourage other people to open themselves up to heal, you know, and that you have such a passion for life and for living it to the fullest that you've been able to alchemize and use some of the deepest pain of yours to help other people access, you know, that healing and that joy that's waiting for them on the other side. So yeah, thank you so much for your vulnerability and, and just being willing to come on and, and share and talk about all of this. It's, yeah, next level, ninja, ninja level emotional maturity and vulnerability.

Yeah, I think, you know, he would— I think about my dad whenever I'm about to do things like this. I know the conversation is going to come up. He would have wanted people to understand him, and he would have wanted, you know, his pain to like liberate other people. And that's something that I knew right away. It's like, you know, he was in personal development, he was reading all the books, he knew all the things, he had all the clients, he was doing millions of dollars a year, you know, millions of dollars per year, um, and he would want other Brian Dalmassos out there to be liberated by his story and hopefully build up the courage to make the moves and say the things that they need to say and the thing that the move— make the moves that they need to make so that it doesn't compound into something so dark that they cannot bear it anymore. So I know that he would want his, uh, departure and the savagery of his departure to really shake people and wake people up. And that was a message that was very clear for me from the beginning. So I'm honored. And any chance I get to talk about him, I always love it. So thank you.

Yeah, you're so welcome. In your bio, you have this quote, through it all, she rose. And it's kind of—

yeah, and it's on the sweatshirt.

And you have your She Rose Academy, and it's a cute play on words, obviously, being like Madison Rose. So I love that. And I just thought of that when thinking of this journey that you've been on over the past year and a half, 2 years, of like, through it all she rose. Like, holy shit. Like, what does that mean to you now? And what is the, the truth that you hope it reminds women of everywhere?

What is so crazy, Samantha, is that when this phrase landed for me, I hadn't had my 2 miscarriages. I had not lost my father. Like, I hadn't experienced pain like I know pain today, or loss like I know loss today. I remember writing this down and being like, oh, I love how that sounds, but oh my gosh, like, what did I even go through to back this up? I literally remember thinking that to myself and being like, this sounds kind of heavy. And then being like, no, like, through everything I rise. Like, through fear I rise, through doubt I rise, through the, you know, adversity I rise. I'm like, okay, yeah, through it all we rise. Like, no matter what's going on, we rise. But I remember having the first initial thought of like, holy cow, like, what did this woman go through? Like, who is she? You know? And so now, oh my gosh, I can't even—

unfortunately, unfortunately, those dots are— those dots are adding up.

They have connected. And, you know, when we had our first miscarriage, Dalton and I both had on these sweatshirts when we were in the hospital and we didn't plan it or anything like that, but we just We love just wearing our own, our own stuff and don't dress fancy, you know, 90% of the time. And so we're both in these sweatshirts, we're in the hospital, and all of a sudden I see the phrase on his shirt and I'm like, "Through it all, she rose." And at this point, like, when I'm reading the phrase, they're about to prep me for emergency surgery. It's a long story. We won't get into it. I didn't have surgery. Everything was fine. But there was a lot of stuff that the doctors were throwing at us, like of what could be wrong and like ectopic pregnancy. It could be cancer, it could be this. And they wanted to prep me for emergency surgery. And I just saw Through It All, She Rose, and I was like, this ain't got nothing on me. Like, I'm good. Like, I rise through this. And the day that my dad passed, Through It All, She Rose was also a very prominent, repetitive reminder in my mind. Like, not only did I want to be as close to God as I could in that moment, because I didn't want to lose myself. But I also was like, I, I have, I have no choice. Like, I have to rise. Like, this is what I stand for. This is who I am. Like, nothing will take me down. Like, the world could take everything away from me. I still have my mind. I still have my spirit. I still have my heart. Like, I've got this. Through it all I rise. Through it all she rose. So it has taken on a meaning more than I could have ever imagined when I wrote it down initially, and I think it will serve me for the rest of my life. And I hope that it serves other women for the rest of theirs.

Amazing. I love that so much. So divine, so cosmic. You know, it's funny looking back at things like that and you're like, oh yeah, it was almost like a— it was like a precursor. It was like a premonition. It was like a knowing ahead of time that that was going to be a mantra, that that was going to be a thing that you needed. It was like you created it thinking that other people needed it, which they did. But then it was like it was also created for you because, you know, God knew what was on that path for you. And that was going to be one of your pillars that you could kind of cling to and to remember who you are and your identity in that and how you wanted to move through everything that was yet to come. So, so, so divine as always. Thank you so much, Mads, for coming on the show and sharing everything. Let everyone know where they can find you. You have some incredible stuff going on, by the way, like your business also. It's So fun to watch you continue to rise and grow and like put more incredible stuff out there servicing women everywhere. So let everyone know where they can find you.

Yeah, thank you. So Instagram is probably the best. I use Instagram as like my business card, so it's @officialmadisonrose on Instagram and I run the account. It's me. No one else posts on it, so it's the best way to connect with me.

Thank you. Yeah, you're so welcome.

So good. So liberating, so cleansing, so healing.

Yeah. Yeah. I loved this conversation. Thanks so much, babe. It was amazing. All right, you guys, if you don't already follow Madison, go over, give her a follow. She's doing incredible work in the world and she is an amazing individual, as you've heard from this story. So go give her a follow. If you found her through this episode, let her know that you're coming from Makeshift Happen Podcast. We can kind of make those connections. And if you love this episode or if you have someone in your life that, you know, maybe needs to hear this or it could be uplifting for them in some way or provide some level of hope, please copy the link to the episode and send it to them in a message and spread the love. We love you guys, and we'll talk to you next week.

Bye!