Life After Reality TV: Fame, Identity Loss, & Building a Business After Love Is Blind w/ Kelly Chase

You're about to hear a conversation that goes way deeper than reality TV, because being on a show like Love Is Blind, it doesn't end when the cameras shut off. For a lot of people, that's when the real work and the real unraveling begins. What's up, you guys? Welcome back to the podcast. In this episode, I'm sitting down with Kelly Chase. You might know her from season 1 of Love Is Blind, but what you probably don't know is everything that happened after the show aired. Kelly is a mindset coach, podcast host, speaker, and creator with over 350,000 followers. But her entrepreneurship journey has gone through some crazy ups and downs post host reality TV. In this raw and honest conversation, Kelly and I talk about what it's like being edited, labeled, and publicly perceived, and then expected to immediately turn that visibility into a brand and an income. We get into the identity shifts that happen when you become a public persona overnight, and the pressure to capitalize on the momentum and audience growth that happens after getting off of a reality TV show before you've even caught your breath. The reality of trying to run a business that you don't align with anymore because you feel like it's what your audience, quote unquote, wants from you. This is a deeper conversation about burnout, people pleasing, and performing authenticity when your nervous system is already fried. And it's also about taking back your story, self-trust, and rebuilding what success means to you. If you've ever had a season in your life where it looked good from the outside but felt wildly misaligned on the inside, this episode is gonna hit for you. All right, let's dive in. Welcome to the Makeshift Happen Podcast. I'm your host, Samantha Daly. Entrepreneur, life coach, and your no BS bestie here to bring you all things mindset, manifestation, and personal development. This podcast is designed to help you expand your mind and uplevel your life. So turn the volume up and roll the windows down if you're coming along for the ride. Let's go make shift happen. Welcome to the show, Kelly. I'm so excited that you're here. Before we jumped on, I was telling you that I watched the first season of Love Is Blind when it came out, and I was a big fan. And for me, it was like such a cool moment to see someone from the coaching industry on the show. I was fascinated. I was very early on in building my own coaching business, so I was super expanded by seeing someone from the industry taking such a big stage on reality TV. And of course, you know, Love Is Blind is still going. I don't know what they're like on season 9 or something at this point, but the first season I think really broke the internet in a lot of ways. It was a really big phenomenon. And I know that that had a huge ripple effect in your life and your business and your mental health. And we're gonna talk about as much of that as we can get to today, but I'm so excited to have you on the show. And I know so many women are gonna be expanded by your story and you just have a lot of permission to give people, I think, of the realness. And all these different sides of what you've gone through and, and the good parts of it and also the really hard parts of it. So welcome to the show, welcome to Makeshift Happen. We're so excited to have you here.

Thank you, thanks for having me. And I'm so, I'm so honored to just be a part of this and have the opportunity to, you know, share my story with your listeners and hopefully, like you said, give them permission and I don't know, just like heal parts of them and make them feel like, hey, she went through this, it's okay when I go through that, or if I ever go through something like that, like it's all a part That's the beautiful journey of entrepreneurship and life, you know?

Yeah. And I feel like, you know, going through something like reality TV really puts a magnifying glass on all those areas of your life. I mean, I have not done it myself, so I can't imagine, but I'm excited to pick your brain about it. So to kind of start with, just to give a little bit of like the context of your appearance on reality TV, and then we can talk about the aftermath and, you know, some of the things that happened there and, and then the comeback after that. But to give some context to that, I'm really curious how the show was originally pitched to you because it was the first season, so you really didn't know what it was and what piqued your interest about doing it.

Yeah, how they pitched me was different than everyone else. 2014, so we're rewinding here. 2014, I got a text message from my like last committed relationship, which is now 12 years ago. That ex-boyfriend, we were, you know, I was the cool girl back then. I was always the cool girl. Oh, we can still be friends after you broke my heart and cheated on me. You know, that kind of, I was that and I I received a text, maybe it was like a year later or something, 2014, and, um, hey, Kel, I can't, um, I just got pitched for this show, this dating show here in Atlanta. I can't do it because of my job, but I gave them your information. But I was like, thanks. I think I was like, do I be insulted? Am I— should I be insulted? Because like, is he thinking I can't find love, or is he doing this to help me find love? Like, cute. Okay, so Anyways, from that time, I actually— what they were pitching to me was Married at First Sight.

Oh, okay.

So I went through the entire interview process for Married at First Sight. And although they told me like, hey, you're going to like walk down the aisle to a stranger for Married at First Sight, I didn't like— it didn't click. I think I was excited about the opportunity to like film because when I was younger, like a child, I always wanted to be an actress. So I was like, yeah, I want to be on TV. Cool. But when I got the contract for Married at First Sight and like fine print, when it was like, oh, like if you don't— like if you commit to this but then you don't go through with it, you're going to owe us $50 grand. And I was like, okay, never mind, we're not going to do this. So that opportunity went away. And fast forward 4 years later, I remember very vividly I was sitting on my carpet floor in my bedroom, like cleaning Detoxing my closet, something. And I never answer random phone calls, but for whatever reason, random number comes across my phone with Santa Monica, California, like as the ID, right? Like coming across. And I was like, I love Santa Monica. I'm going to, I'm going to answer this one.

It's always such a toss-up if you're going to answer an unknown number. I mean, like it's almost, almost 100% of the time I'm not picking it up. So that definitely is fate when you're like, I'm going to decide to randomly answer this.

Yeah, yeah. I mean, granted, they probably would have left a voicemail though, but still, I was like, oh my God, it was so funny. But yeah, so I answered and they're like, hey, it's so-and-so from Kinetic Content Casting. We have this new project. Are you still single? And I was like, yes, I am still single. I am. And so they pitched it to me and I was like, wow. You know, there were a few reasons as to why I said yes. One being full transparency, I was— it was out of ego. I mean, I was like, I'm gonna show my friends that I can make a connection without the physical attraction because my friends were always like, Kelly, you keep going after these like guys like who are like, yeah, they're hot, but they aren't hot on the inside. They treat you like shit and they're not committing to you and all of that. And so they were like, stop going for 10s and go for 7s. That's what they always would say to me. And I'm like, all right, fine. I'm gonna prove them that I can do this, you know? So that was a part of it. Other, I had 6 months prior to receiving that call, I had like 180'd my life. Like I, left corporate America for the first time. I pursued coaching. I was a fitness trainer for an audio-based fitness app. So I was creating impact and on this like soul journey, personal development books. Like I've read so many personal development books when I was never a reader in high school. I'd read the Cliff Notes, you know, for things. So I just didn't love it. But yeah, and I started listening to podcasts and I had joined a, um, like a mastermind program too in 2018. And I was just like, oh my God, like this, like this newfound life that I've acquired. Like, I, I'm— I found me. I feel like I'm in a good place. I haven't been dating. I haven't been entertaining any boys. Like, I, I don't, I don't know if I'll say yes to anybody or if I'll make a connection, but like, why not do this? Like, why not put myself out there, you know?

Well, it feels exciting to kind of like take on an opportunity like that when you feel like you are such a new, renewed version of yourself, when you've gone through all of that like inner work and you're like, yeah, I want this to be the version of myself that I put, you know, on display to kind of like take a risk like this and do something fun.

Yeah, exactly. And I was like, oh, and I get to live out my acting career, my acting dream. But no, it just, you know, because I thought I was just like, it was kind of like the year of yes, like saying yes to the things that I knew would light me up and no to everything else. And also, yeah, of course I had a coaching business. I'm like, okay, cool. Like this could help that. Of course there was a little bit of that in there, but we went through interview after interview, psychology testing, um, get the contract. I ghosted them and I was like, because I got scared. And when I finally— when the woman finally got on the call with me, like, she finally got me to pick up a phone call and she was like, what? Like, what was going on? Like, we have to start filming in like 3 weeks. Like, you're— what are you doing? And I was like, well, I'm, I'm nervous. I was like, I have a really decent reputation here in Atlanta. Like, I'm a health and wellness— like, I inspire people, I motivate people. I'm like a world-renowned coach on this fitness app. I'm like, what if you guys, like, create some type of narrative and make me look terrible and it actually ruins my business, you know? And they're like, this is an experiment, Kelly, like, we're not trying to ruin anyone's life. And, like, I'm looking back in hindsight, I'm like, well, you kind of did to one person. So in a sense, one of the girls on my season got a really bad edit.

There's always one of those. I mean, you have to have one.

There's always one. It was just terrible, you know? She talks, like, about that and how bad it was. For her mental health and everything, how dark things got. But regardless, she talked me through it, and she was like, it's fine, we're not— like, they're all— you're all humans, we're not trying to do anything. And I was like, okay. So that was it, and we started filming a few weeks later, and I loved every second of it. Like, I did. Although it was the— I will say this, like, I endured a trauma in college and, like, domestic violence. And although I had probably talked about it here and there, and I shared a little bit. That was the first time that I really opened up about it, and it was the therapy I never had. Like, I went to one session after that situation when I was 22 years old, and I was like, I'm fine, cured, cured, good. And I wasn't, you know. I mean, I think that that's like my entire 20s, early 30s, me pushing so much and just, you know, losing myself in men and all of that. Like, it was a direct reflection of that unhealed part of me from that. And yeah, there are times, like, I still haven't necessarily— like, that'll be a healing journey forever, you know, from that wound. But it was like the first time that everything was activated because the producers, they— I mean, granted, you can be as vulnerable or not, you know, with the producers, but I just was. I think that I'm just that type of person, that I'm just very honest and truthful, and I felt like I couldn't hide anything. So I was even like talking about, like, I was referencing said ex-boyfriend that, you know, submitted my information for Married at First Sight. And I was really only talking about it because he was my last committed relationship, although it had been 4 or 5 years ago, you know, from the time of filming. So when you're watching, it sounds like I'm obsessed with my ex-boyfriend still. And it's like, I wasn't. It was like 5 years ago. Actually, when the show aired, it's like 7 years ago. Like, but it was just funny, like how they pull stories out of you to create narratives.

Yeah, they need a storyline. Well, and there definitely was a storyline. I remember with you guys specifically, you and the guy that you were with about like intimacy and not wanting to do it because it's always like an expectation kind of when you get out of the pods and you go on the vacation or whatever, like, are people going to hook up? Are they going to have sex? Whatever. And there they definitely drew a storyline there about, you know, you wanting to have boundaries with that and, and not wanting to have like the physical intimacy too soon. Can you tell me Like you said, you loved the experience in general on Love Is Blind. Can you tell me more about that and like how that felt for you? Cuz that's a pretty vulnerable kind of thing. I think it's something when we go back to like inner child, inner teenager type stuff, it's like you want to be perceived as the girl that's not too prude, but then you also don't wanna be perceived as the slut and you can almost never win as a woman. Like there's really no, there's no right line to walk. So I'm curious. How that was for you.

Yeah. So, you know, I honestly, I feel like Netflix kind of missed the mark because they did not share the extent of the story. It did look like, you know, I was just putting up a boundary, but I did express this. It just wasn't aired that a couple of things like from that trauma from college, like I was talking about, like I had never had an orgasm before and that was obviously back then when we filmed it. So that was a while ago.

I have had one since, but you're like, I'm happy to report I'm okay, guys.

I'm okay. But I had never had an orgasm, so I was telling, like, I was saying, like, I feel like I have to be, like, really safe, and, like, but I've never had that safety per se. And I didn't really, like, know my body. I didn't know who I was really. And so that was a reason why I didn't want to have sex. I just met you 2 weeks ago or a week ago. Like, I, I don't really know you, so I don't want to be that vulnerable with myself. So that was one reason. And secondly, I, because I had started this whole, like, self-love journey 6 months prior, or a year prior to filming, I I had told myself that I would not have sex with someone until 3 months after knowing them. And so I was like, well, Kenny, sorry, like, I've only known you for like a week.

You got a long way to go.

Yeah. So like, that was it. That was the deeper meanings as to why versus me just coming across kind of like—

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No.

And you didn't end up getting married. And you, you've mentioned like the extreme lag time between like filming and then it airing and how much like your life kind of changes in that time period. Can you talk about that? Because I, I know your business changed a lot in that time, and I think You know, all of us that are doing this inner work on ourselves constantly, like in a year or two, you feel like you're 10 new versions of yourself. So what was that like, the time between filming and actually airing and all the changes that were happening to your life and how that was seeing yourself on the screen and being labeled health coach and being like, wait, oh my gosh, like I'm 5 identities past this at this point, right?

Oh yeah, no, absolutely. Well, it's interesting. So when we got done filming, we didn't wind up getting married. Kenny and I had talked about like dating afterwards and I I like, last day of filming, he was like, I think that we— I just need to like get back to normal life and like take a break from all of this. And verbatim, he was like, I'm over this and unfortunately you are a part of all of this. And I'm like, okay. And I had like 2 seconds to respond because he had to like go in for his interview.

And I was like, huh, I'm over this and you're a part of all of this?

Yeah, he was like, I, I've been like really over this for like a couple weeks. He was like, and unfortunately you are a part of all of And I was just like— he's like, I mean, but like, we'll talk. I'm like, what? Did you just like break up with me? Were we even together? I'm so confused. Like, it was very just like, what? So I was heartbroken. Like, I was able to separate, you know, everything. I'm saying this to say that because I was so heartbroken, I was like, okay, screw it, you know? Like, I'm just gonna go all in on my business. Like, that's— I think what we do, we avoid healing, we avoid sitting with the feelings because the pain is too heavy, right? So I had worked I had gone through prior to filming, I went through this mastermind program with Angie Lee, and one of her co-coaches, Erin Porter, is who I hired for my business and mindset coaching. So I was like, Erin, I just love the way that she was talking. That was like— she was the person who introduced me to like energetics of business and money and law of attraction, like all of that. And I was like, tell me more. I'm so intrigued. So she was just like awakening parts of me. So I worked with her and I was like, I joke with her because I was like, I think you did more for my mindset than you did my business at the time. But obviously that's what I needed. I'd never done mindset work like that. Like, yeah, we can sit here and read all the personal development books and listen to all the mindset podcasts, but like true integration is working with someone who can identify your blind spots, right? And I was just like, oh my gosh. But like, she was kind of like the therapy also that I needed because she talked about— we brought up my domestic abusive situation from college and why I'm such a people pleaser and like, you know, my self-worth and all of it. So I started to do that. And when I got done working with her 4 months later and probably even 30 days in, I was like, I don't know what you did to me, but I have to do this for other women. And so I started to shift my, like, online presence. Like, I'm not posting workout videos and, you know, recipes anymore. I am posting like things about money mindset and entrepreneurship. And I was just like, I was so excited about it. Well, my engagement started dropping because people are obviously not there for that. And it was messing with my head. It's almost— I guess I wasn't like truly embodied. I was— I didn't have true conviction in it because like, I'm sure I was like regurgitating a lot of stuff because I was like, oh my God, but it's so great and everybody needs to know this information kind of thing. But I continue to stick with it. Granted, I had to go back into corporate America because I did not have any money coming in, no coaching client, like nothing. And I was like, oh my God. And I tried to like make my business work for 6 months and it just wasn't. My parents were like, shit or get off the pot. Like, you got to do something. Stop trying to make it work. Like, I get it, but like, go bartend, like go do something. So, and I did, I tried to like pick up all these like side hustle jobs and I was like, why would I burn the candle at both ends doing like 4 different like minimum wage side hustles trying to get my business off the ground when I can go to one corporate America job for 8 hours a day and make $50,000 a year? Like, why wouldn't I do that? Why I make $17 an hour here and $14 an hour here. So I was like, okay, fine. So I did. That was great. I mean, taking the pressure off of me financially was definitely an amazing thing. But yeah, I mean, I continued to work with Aaron, continuing to like do that work, started like reading even deeper mindset books, I guess.

And this is all before the show aired. This is all in the in-between of like after filming and before it actually airs to America.

Yeah, like December 2018 and it aired February 2020. So 15 months or so, Aaron also had become breathwork certified, and I— through Samantha Skelly's program. And I was like, I'll volunteer to do like, uh, because she had to get like credit hours or whatever. And I was like, yeah, I'll volunteer and do that. I'm like, I had only— I had experienced breathwork, like the triactive breathwork, through Samantha at one of Angie's retreats. And so I was like, okay, kind of, but we had only done like a 15-20 minute session at the retreat. Aaron's was like 45 minutes, and Holy bananas. I was like, that was life-changing in itself. I had never done such intense breathwork. I mean, Erin's in San Diego. I'm here in Atlanta. We got on Zoom. She was like, just lay on your floor, get comfortable, have a pillow— or not a pillow, but like a blanket because you might get cold. And I was like, okay. And it was so profound. I mean, I was crying as if someone died in front of my face, like snot, like I couldn't even, like, catch my breath kind of thing. I mean, I got the cat claws and I was freezing, but when I came to, I was drenched in sweat. It was so fascinating.

No one ever forgets their first like holotropic breathwork experience.

It was so crazy. But I just, you know, I felt so like, so many emotions left, like processed, like actually, I mean, that's what it does. Like drops you into your emotional body so you can actually feel all the things. And I was just like, wow. I just had this like huge let go is what I felt like. This whole like weight lifted off of my shoulder and I was, yeah, it was just life-changing. And I was like, okay, like I love doing this type of work. Like, not that I felt a calling to ever get breathwork certified, but I was like, I want to keep doing things like this. And I don't know, I just kept like submerging myself and into like the mindset work and studying subconscious reprogramming and listening to like all the things. And yeah, then the show aired and I'm a health coach and I'm like, no, I'm not. I hate it. I don't hate it. It's lovely. People need it. And I had just evolved.

But it's so real. It's so real when you really evolve into a new version of yourself or you pivot your business, and an old part of you is now being showcased on the largest platform possible. I mean, that had to be really hard. And I don't know when you guys— because also your airing is like peak— I mean, that was peak reality TV because it's like right at the precipice of the pandemic. And so like the first season of Too Hot to Handle and the, you know, all the first seasons of a lot of these like what are now major reality series really popped off at that, at that time. So obviously you gained a lot of followers from it. I don't know when those or how quickly they started flooding in and what that was like. But that had to have created for sure some sort of, like you're saying, no, like that's not who I am anymore. Ah, and this kind of confusion, right? Because you're labeled as health coach. You have all these people following you now. There's maybe an expectation also naturally as a business-minded person, you're wanting to create opportunity out of what's being handed to you, which is a lot of visibility and a much larger audience. So how did you take that and like integrate that into your business? But also, I know it must have affected your mental health, like having all of these new eyeballs on you. So can you kind of talk about like the aftermath of that, of like all the followers rushing in and also kind of being in this feeling like you're being showcased in one identity but really wanting to be embodied in another and just the disconnect there?

Yeah, no, thanks for asking. It was hard. You know, it was interesting too because I had— people could visually tell from the regular filming, like, season to our reunion episode, because the reunion episode was filmed in 2020, like, right before, like, a week before the pandemic, right? And I had lost about 10 or 15 pounds also within that time frame. I swear it was the breathwork. I'm not kidding, don't hold me to it, but I swear it was the breathwork. Like, because I was— nothing changed what I was eating, nothing changed how I was working out.

Well, it's like body keeps the score, right? You're releasing a lot of emotional baggage and then the weight falls Makes sense.

Exactly. So then I, you know, got down to my— what I am now, my normal size. So of course, like, people see that too. So it's not just like I'm labeled health coach now. People see I actually have had a journey of my own. Like, the people pleasing that Erin and I had talked about, and every other coach since then, like, you know, it's like, okay. But then I'm like, well, Kelly, give the people what they want. Like, why don't you just get the people what they want? But then I'm like, but then I'm not being true to myself. So it was like identity, like ping pong game of like, let's be her, but let's know, let's be her, this other girl. And like, at the time, I couldn't get to a place to be like, but Kelly, you can be both. Like, I was just like torn. I felt very torn between two worlds.

Like you needed to fit into the box of like the health coach girl because that's what people saw you as and you felt like that's what would work. Hey, don't forget that every month we are picking a listener of the month to win $50 in cash just for showing love to the show. All you have to do is leave an epic review of the podcast on Apple Podcasts, screenshot the review before you hit submit, and DM that screenshot to us on Instagram at Makeshift Happen Podcast. And that's it. I want to thank you for being such a loyal listener and show my appreciation by putting a little extra cash in your pocket. I know it's super easy not to do it, but every single rating and review seriously helps the show rank higher and reach new people. So we appreciate them more than you know. We'll announce the next winner at the end of the month and slide into your DMs if it's you. So keep an eye out and good luck. Love you guys and thanks for supporting Makeshift Happen.

Right, exactly. And you know, I had PR agents and like that kind of thing and they were like, hey, why don't you create workout videos and stuff? I'm like, I'm want to. It's easy. Sure, I can do it all day. I'll bust some things out in the living room, like, that's fine, but I don't want to. And again, I think maybe in hindsight there's a part of me that's like, okay, maybe I should have catered a little bit more to that and shared just so much about the health stuff and just had people evolve with me. But I was like, I don't want to do that. So it's like I just, I had so much resistance, but then I was like, well, maybe people aren't like, it wouldn't make sense to like talk about entrepreneurship and like all this like money mindset stuff because I just came from like a love dating relationship show. So maybe I'll create like a self-love course and then, you know, at least there's that. And so I did Goddess Magic and it was great and I had a handful of women go through that. It was neat to see. Obviously we all know this coaching, it affects all areas of our life and it was neat to see that from these girls because yeah, they had increased self-love and confidence Some, you know, broke up with boyfriends that they knew weren't the right ones. Some repaired relationships with their parents. Some started their own yoga practice. Like, it was just neat to see like how the teachings affected each of the girls inside the program. It was really neat in that regard. And I did talk about like, once they were in the container, I was able to talk about like business and money mindset and like how it's like actually all connected and all of that, which was great. But I still was also working the 9 to 5 that I got, and now I'm also an influencer and content creator for brands. So I felt like I had 4 careers, 4 full-time careers, 3 or 4 full-time careers, and I was exhausted and probably the most unhealthy version of myself in 2020. I mean, I don't drink coffee, I don't drink energy drinks. I obviously am not prescribed like anything. And, um, I was microdosing Adderall, I was drinking coffee, I was drinking energy drinks. To stay alive and awake because it was like, it was, it was so much like energy. And granted, people are like, Kelly, why don't you just not go on social media for a little while? And I'm like, but I have— there was an aspect of like, yes, I have people to serve and help, but there was also this aspect of control. But if I don't do this, then I'm going to miss my opportunity. I'm not going to like create the impact. I'm not going to make the money. And I want to leave this 9 to 5. So how can I like— if I'm not showing up on social media, how am I going to leave my 9 to 5? Like It was a lot.

I could see that for sure. Like the pressure of not wanting to miss the opportunity. Like it's an opportunity of a lifetime to be given a platform like that and to, you know, have hundreds of thousands of followers coming into your world. And there's a, there's an intense pressure of like the moment will pass. And so I've gotta capitalize on it right now.

Right, exactly. And that 9 to 5 that I, that I was working was like paycheck to paycheck. I mean the like $40,000 a year kind of thing, if that. And my parents, like I told, I was like, I'm so tired. And obviously now we're all in our houses. Because of COVID right? And so everything's virtual and like we couldn't even like we didn't even have any cool PR moments because the whole world shut down. So it's like, couldn't like we had to do everything virtual, which was fine, not complaining, but it was still a thing. But my parents were like, why don't you— you're so tired. Why don't you just like put a pause on your coaching for a little while? And I was like, and my mom is like really big, like she like loves like nutrition and like that. She was a health coach. She actually went to IIN before I did. So I was like, mom, that's like me telling you not to talk about what you're passionate about and to suppress yourself. Absolutely not. I'm not gonna do that. So I was like, mom, like if I told you to stop talking about things you're passionate about, like that would like, you suppress, like you can't do that. I can't do that. And in hindsight, what I wish that I did, because what I did was obviously I worked my 9 to 5 endlessly and the, I was creating, you know, content for brand collaborations, that kind of thing. And I was $30,000 in debt because, you know, I put my, all my coaching and masterminds Masterminds and all the things on, on my credit card. So good debt. I definitely had a different money story back then, but I was taking the money from the collabs and putting it towards my debt. So paying off my debt, which was great, but I had no like extra money because I'm like, so then I was relying on my coaching to make the extra money so that I had that, which was great. That's fine. But in hindsight, I wish I left my 9 to 5, rode the like collab money and had a breather around my coaching business versus putting all that towards the debt.

Just being so spread thin and yeah.

I was so spread thin and like literally a year to the day of our first episode's airing, I had two panic attacks back to back. I had never had that before, so I can't like clinically say that's what it was, I guess. But like, I know it was something I had never experienced and I never had them again after that because I learned, I was like, I cannot do stuff that I am like, I will never live in burnout ever again. Like I can't. That just was not— it was not healthy for anybody. But I was— that was really a rough time. Like I took a week off of work and I was like, okay, I'll just like reset and not do anything. And I really didn't. I didn't do any coaching, like nothing. And then I went back to work and 2 weeks later I just called my boss and I was like, I can't do this anymore. Like, I just can't. She was like, I understand. I'm like, thank you. I just— I got to go. But I didn't take— like, I left that job not knowing. Like, I mean, yeah, I had a couple of coaching clients, but it wasn't like, you know, enough money to like, you know, like $20,000 a month or anything. Yeah. It was just helping me get by in the— this was a year after the show. So now like some of the brand deals were like not as consistent as they were either. So I'm like, I just, I just have to trust. Now it's time to just let go of the, of the rope and just trust. And it was interesting with the brand collaborations. A friend of mine who had done them before, she was like, Kelly, make sure that you're putting like saving 30% for taxes because like, don't forget about that. You're going to get taxed on all that. And I'm like, okay. So I did. So I left the corporate job, whatever. I— 2 weeks, like, I did not do anything. I sat on my couch and cried, like, almost every single day. I just— I had so— like, I never— I didn't— that whole year of 2020, I didn't— I couldn't feel. Like, I just— I didn't have time to feel. And so I just, like, let it all out, uh, for 2 weeks. And it was, like, tax return season, whatever. And I didn't owe any money to the government. And I was like, hell yeah, now I have some money to float again for another few months. Thank God. It was so great. I was like, God, you're looking out for me to love it. But, you know, and then I did. I started— like, I continue with some brand deals here and there, but I was able to at least, like, have a little bit of safety to not feel like I was, like, forcing my business as much.

What was it like to be going through— it's— it feels like it's such a, like, paradox because to the world you're like like, you know, this reality TV star. Behind the scenes, you're going through so much, like, personally— identity crisis, you're in a job that you can't stand. The show comes out, you're having panic attacks, you have a workload that is unrealistic to try to maintain. You start taking Adderall, energy drinks. I mean, like, it's almost like exactly what they say about quote-unquote fame, where it's like, it looks like you're the coolest girl on the block from the outside, and on the inside, you're almost like dying. I mean, for you, what was it like showing up in your real life also knowing that people now anywhere could potentially have a perception of you because they've seen you on a show? Like, I'm just thinking about even when you're saying to your boss, like, I've gotta leave this job, like, they probably watched the show, wouldn't you imagine? I mean, like, did— do you think that played into the mental health of the aftermath of like knowing that people maybe are perceiving you in a certain way and you feel so different on the inside, and it's like, do people know who I am? What are they thinking about me? Like, what was that like, especially in a professional setting? I have to imagine that's so awkward.

Yeah, a couple things. So we did these little like team building activities like every week, right? And before the show aired, there was like someone popped a question about something, and I don't remember, but I was like, so I was on a reality TV show. And they were like, wait, what? Because I was like, I have to tell them. Like, I can't week, you know. So I just told my little intimate team, and they were like, wait, what? They were like, wait, like, you were, or like, has it come out? And I was like, no, it's coming out on Netflix. And they're like, what? Like, this is great, all the things. So yeah, but yes, I was showing up every single day before the world shut down, of course. And I remember it was the wedding episode. I think that was like right before we went to working at home. And I did, like, there were a few women at my office that kind of like put their nose up in the air towards me, like like, you broke that man's heart at the altar, you bitch. And I was like, they didn't say that, but like, there was some— but, and I, I only know that because like one of the other girls who was like a mutual friend, she was like, yeah, like she watched the episode, she just kind of feels a little bothered by how you handled that. And I was like, it wasn't real, like that's not what happened. He said no too, they just didn't show it. Like, what the heck, you know? So yes, Granted, that was like the only time I like heard of anything. But you know, then the world shuts down. I live in Atlanta, Georgia. Atlanta, it was the first— Georgia was the first state to open up after the, like, in the pandemic. Like, it was— we were shut down from March till May, essentially. So just a few months. And granted, you couldn't like really go inside places, but like, I went to just a little like Mexican restaurant, but you could like— they were like serving the food outside. Back, right? So I go there, I walk up to pick up my food, and this guy was standing behind me, or he comes up behind me, and he was like, hey, he's like, our wives think they know you. And like, so these two guys came up by me, they're like, hey, our wives think they know you, do you mind coming over, like, talk, like, saying hi or whatever? And I was like, yeah, sure. And that was like my first, like, fame moment because we had been locked up in our houses, right? So I go and they're like, we're sorry, like, we're so sorry to bug you. I was like, no, this is my first time. Like, you can ask me anything. I love it. Oh my God, you know who I am? Cool. So that was neat. But like, ever since then, and even it's not as bad today, but like, my head was on a swivel all the time because I was like, you know, I would catch someone looking at me and I'm like, okay, are they looking at me because they know me from the show? Are they looking at me because they like my outfit? Or like, it was social. Like, I had never had social anxiety before, but I social anxiety. And so yes, that really affected me. And what you asked me about, like, if it was different, I felt that. And I remember having a conversation with some of my very close friends, like, when I am with y'all, like, at a house party or whatever, I said, I feel like I'm, like, I'm not, not the same person online, but I'm not— they're not getting this version of me, like, the fullest version of me. They're not getting that. And I don't know how to be that online anymore. And I used to be that. There was a very big disconnect. And I felt like— I mean, I could probably go back and, like, scroll and be like, that video, I did that out of like people pleasing, right? Did that video out of like, oh, because I saw this influencer over here do the same video and she got a lot of engagement, so I decided to do that. Like, it was a lot of like, I was influenced a lot.

You're much more aware of yourself. Like, you're so much— I feel like this happens to a lot of people in their business journeys, or especially creators, where like you start out and you're so naive and it's so good because you're like, whatever, I've got nothing to lose. Like, I am who I am. And you're being really authentically yourself and it's working. And then you get to a place where you have a lot more followers or you have a, a big opportunity or there's just more visibility for whatever reason. Maybe you spoke on a stage or in your case you're on reality TV or whatever. And then suddenly you're like aware that you're being observed. And then because you're acutely aware of the fact that you're being observed, you now can't be as authentic, even though all you want to be is authentic. It's like you feel like your authenticity is a performance, even though you don't want it to be. But it's like very weird. And I've had clients talk to me about this before, of like knowing that certain people are following them, or, you know, a really big name person or a famous person or whatever, and then suddenly you're like, oh my God, I forgot how to do my videos, right? Yeah, yeah, you just like can't even— you can't even function.

Yeah. And I was like, I definitely have been not blessed but cursed with the perfectionism bug too, in so much. Like, I— one of my 2026 intentions is to do more face-to-face, like, talking to my camera content, because I think I got away from that because if I said the wrong thing or if I— whatever. And, and granted, I did have a little trauma around that too, like, back in the day. But I was like, Kelly, like, you want people to get to know you and you want to build, like, a better community, a stronger community. And, like, I still feel like I'm in this process of regrowing my like, know, and trust with my audience somewhat because I think that there are still, I mean, I'm just being fully transparent. Like I feel like there's still like a disconnect sometimes. Like, you know, I go to some people's pages and you know, it's like, I know that these influencers, but granted they've been doing it for a long time, but they're like, you know, they get like thousands of DMs, you know? And I'm like, I'll get one here and there. And I'm like, doesn't anybody resonate? Like what? I just, okay.

Well, I was gonna ask you about that too, cuz it's so interesting. Like people talk about this when it comes to, you know, going viral for the wrong reasons. Or if you have like a video pop off that is like, it's just funny for something, or it's like a just because kind of video, but then you get all these followers and you're like, wait, wait, wait, please stop following me because you're going to mess up my algorithm and my engagement because you're not actually my ideal buyer, or like someone who like really is here for like the core of who I am and the message. And so I imagine that that happens when you're on reality TV because it's like any random person with the TV who's watching the show, you know, if they're going to choose to follow you specifically, it's of course, because they like you on some level or they resonate with something that you're sharing on the show, or they're hate following you. Like, who knows, right? Um, also some of those, which is like, shit. But yeah, I can imagine, like, it's hard because you now have all this, like, credibility. You've been given this, this beautiful platform, you know, you have this claim to fame, let's say, you know, on a big reality TV show, you've got hundreds of thousands of followers. But at the same time, it's really hard to convert convert those types of people into clients when you're, when you're a business owner, when you're an entrepreneur and you're not just trying to be, you know, a lifestyle influencer per se. What's been your experience with that, of like having a really big audience but still maybe feeling like they're not exactly always the right people coming in?

It's been really challenging, to be honest. Like, even I was like, Kelly, I feel like I'm talking to myself. I'm like, I feel like I have to like pump out like 10 videos a day for my ideal client in order to like change my algorithm.

Don't tell anyone who's like, this girl is so annoying, let me get out of here. You're like, thank God.

Yeah, yeah. But then I'm like, but Kelly, that's like so much work and you don't wanna like do it out of like trauma response either. So it's like just post 1 or 2 videos a day or post a day or whatever and maybe skip a few days. Who cares? Like it's okay. The right people will find you. And I have had to remind myself of that. But yeah, I mean my highest following was like nearly half a million. It was 496,000. 1,000 and I'm down to 350 and I just lost 1,000 the other day. And I'm like, good. I'm actually— but before when I started losing, I was like, these people don't like me. Like, it was very like this, like, self-worth. Is there something wrong with me? You know, the deep-rooted belief that we all tend to have for ourselves. Like, is something wrong with me? These people don't like me. They're like going somewhere else. Like, and losing all these followers. Again, my engagement was going down. My metric— like, I was very obsessed with my vanity metrics and I was like, this is fucking with my head. Like, and so yeah, it's like, it was, it was just, again, this just like constant battle of like, well, what to create. I wanna create stuff to get high engagement cuz I want more views on my stuff because maybe if I create something that's gonna give me high engagement, they'll see a different post. Like, they'll be like, oh, I like this, let me see what this girl's about. And then they'll go to the next post and be like, oh, she's talking about money mindset or whatever. But you know, so it's like my content, I sometimes feel it's like up in the air. Like, it is literally a rollercoaster because I haven't been able to like nail it. But yeah, so it's been really challenging and there's, I debated over the years to start a different Instagram only for the business stuff and post every once in a while to my influencer account. But I'm like, when I was coaching some of those girls who were starting these little, or they had got coaching certified just coincidentally as they were going through my program, it's like, I was like, you don't need to, you don't need a personal account because you are your brand. Like you're your brand.

So you don't need that. I always teach the same thing. I'm like, stop starting business pages. It's so stupid, but so many people go through that dilemma of like when you, when you pivot a lot and it feels like your audience isn't evolving with you, which when you come from like fitness stuff specifically, I find is really hard niche to pivot. Like once people follow you for like fitness and health stuff, it's like anything you really do after that, that's a, I think that's a really tough one cuz people follow you for a very specific reason. You're a resource to them in a very specific area of their life and they want you to solve that problem. And then, you know, you kind of like deviate and go, and it's like, well, I didn't come here for that. And that's why personal brand is so important, and that's what I help all my clients with, because that's the only thing that really allows you to continue to evolve as a, as a woman and still keep those people along the ride with you. But it takes, it takes years to build that. And, you know, as you were talking about building the like, know, and trust, and like really coming back to defining who you are, what your core values are as a brand, as, as a human, what you want your main message to be. I talk to my clients all the time about like finding your mastery markers. What do you want to be known for? Like really working down to like the 1 to 2 things where you want people to, when they think of X topic, they think of you. And you've got to be really narrowed and specific on that. And sometimes it does take this whole windy clusterfuck of a journey to figure that out and be like, okay, like, this is my zone of genius. This is my thing. I know what my mastery is now. And then, and go from there. But a lot of, a lot of people go through that. And you also just went through it on such an amplified level because of the exposure and the visibility and the huge following and being on a big show like that. So yeah, I just, I commend you for continuing to allow yourself to evolve and like follow the pivots and, and not force yourself to fit into an old box because it's what the people want, because that's not sustainable either. Sure, could you have forced yourself to do that for a few months? Maybe. But then you also would have had, you know, a burnout with that. And yeah, sometimes it is messy and it takes a lot of trial and error and going back and forth and up and down. And I, I love your transparency around, you know, having to go back to a 9-to-5 and then quitting and then picking up another job and, and just the realness of like what a lot creators and entrepreneurs are actually experiencing behind the scenes, but they're not talking about it.

Yeah, yeah, no, exactly. And I, I guess it's been two times I've, I've stepped back into corporate America, and I'm currently— I currently have that. But like, I took a year— it's been a little over a year, uh, off from coaching altogether because the last time that I did run a program, it was health coaching still. And I was like, okay, let me just one last time, let's please the masses kind of thing. But like 4 weeks in, maybe even 4 days in, I was like, I can't do this. Like, I, it was cringing. It was making my soul just like so suppressed and I just didn't love it at all. There's just a different vibration between entrepreneur-minded women and not. And there was a big disconnect. And anyways, but when I, I've been in my company now for 3 years, but it was because like the coach, like my nervous system just wasn't regulated, although I was like, okay, I was making okay money-wise, like when I had left the other corporate job to pursue the coaching, like I was like, okay, but it was still like a rollercoaster. Like one month I'd have, you know, I hit a $10K month, the other month maybe not so much. Like, so it was, I just was still not totally like feeling safe. Yeah. I just wasn't. Um, so I was like, okay, you know what, I'm just, I'm gonna bite the bullet. I'm gonna do it. I got into an outside sales role and business development, which is great. I work with entrepreneurs, I work with with attorneys all the time who own their own businesses. And I'm like, this is great. I love this. Granted, it's funny because obviously I'm selling a service, but of course I'm having relation, you know, conversations with them around life and everything. And I've had a couple of the attorneys be like, this is what you would rather be talking to me about versus the service you came here to sell me on. And I'm like, yeah, 100%. And they're like, no, it's cool. Like, that's like, one of them pulled up my podcast like on his computer while I was sitting in his office and he was like, I had no idea. And then like one of the episodes was this girl who was talking about ayahuasca. And so he was like, fascinating, have you ever done that? You know, so it was like such a fun conversation because we weren't talking about work stuff, and it was so great. But my position has reminded me of what I'm good at, and it is relationships. And it's in person even, like, I would love to do more in-person events here in Atlanta, or in-person coaching sessions here in Atlanta. Like, I want to— speaking gigs, whatever, like like, I want to do more of that and just connect and share my story. And again, kind of what you're saying at the end, like healing people or giving permission to people through my storytelling, and obviously good strategy tips and like whatever, you know, that kind of thing, and teaching them on the methodologies and everything that I've learned. But I'm grateful for the job that I have right now, so, so grateful for it. It has stabilized obviously my consistent income every, every month, but also just my nervous system feel so good. And now I can come from a place of like, I'm relaunching like coaching and I can do it with so much ease right now. And I just think that's beautiful. So if anyone's listening and you like have this, like, I mean, when it happened the first time when I was like, oh crap, I have to like go back to corporate America, it's like every entrepreneur's fear of like, I'm a failure. And I did talk about it. I presence that and like how it made me feel or how I think my audience was gonna, you know, assume of me. And just sharing that was was so helpful for me to like just be like, hey guys, like I know that this may look like I'm failing at something, but I think, you know, we have to do what we got to do sometimes. And it was just such a beautiful thing. So there's a time and place you gotta just— you gotta do it, and you never know the gift that you'll receive from it.

Yeah, and I, I honestly, I tell a lot of my clients who are early on, like don't try to rush out of secure income to burn all the boats and and, you know, just be in your business when you're not, you know, making enough money to be there. Some people thrive off of that, but a lot of personality types do not. And it can do a lot more damage to your business actually, because you're in so much pressure, so much scarcity. You become paralyzed. You are really overwhelmed. You're really stressed. Everything you do is out of like need and desperation. And when you know the energetics of like, you know, attracting people into your world, building a community, getting clients, making sales, all of that. I mean, it is toxic to that, that energy. So you being in a, in a state where you actually— it's like, you know, the classic manifestation saying of like, when you need nothing, you attract everything. So like when you're in that role of like you're doing a job that's not draining you and you don't hate your life, right? Because you get to like use your natural talents and you're still in sales and you're having these conversations and you doing stuff that feels still aligned with like your skillset, but you're not in scarcity. I think it serves a really big purpose for early entrepreneurs for sure, to like recalibrate themselves and just like approach content and offers and everything from a true, like authentic, this is who I am and this is what I wanna do. And I don't need to like out of desperation make X amount of dollars or else I'm not gonna be able to pay my rent. It's, it's so, so good. And it's a really important conversation, so I'm glad that you're willing to have it. Thank you.

Yeah, yeah, it is important. I mean, it just, you know, and then when I had to go again back into corporate, I was like, ah, here we go again. But it's okay. Like, you have to do— you just, you've got to do what's going to make you feel safe.

Well, and there's something too to be said for like the resilience of spirit that even after that, you know, taking those blows a couple of times of what the world would try to make you feel like a failure for those things, you obviously have a deeper purpose and a passion for educating people and spreading your message. Because if you didn't, you would have given up by now, right? Like, there, there's enough reasons to have quit. And so I think that's something that's really amazing when you're like, wow, God really did place this on my heart because it ain't leaving. You know, all the reasons to, and it's actually not going away. So like, here I am. Okay, let's keep going. I guess this is, this is my journey and this is my path, and I just have to be patient and keep leaning in.

Yeah, exactly. It's interesting because like, because of the coaching space, like, I was on calls with other coaches, like in the coaching cohorts and stuff, and they were like, Kelly, like, you know, you're kind of like, you were blessed with the thing that all of us want. Like in a sense, like we wanna be the influencer, like we wanna send out links, like we wanna do that. We want people to want us, we want people to want to be us. Like, and I was like, okay. Like, so I was like trying to like understand that perspective in a sense, but I was like, I can't just give you a shirt link. Blank with no depth behind it. Like, I just can't.

From your soul, like, you just— your soul won't let you. You're not a surface person.

No. Yeah, exactly. And it's like, granted, I know that there are influencers out there that obviously have the depth and they're sharing, oh, you know, it's— this shirt made me feel so elevated and elegant, and that's why I chose to, you know, obviously. And I try to explain things myself, but, you know, like, I've even seen some of our top people, like Amanda Francis, you know, for example, right? Like She is this coach. She has the thing. She has built that business. Now she's on a reality TV show. I'm sure the people are gonna come to her for all the things. Oh, send me the link to this, send me the link to that. But I have seen her trickle that stuff in over time too. And I'm like, Kelly, you can be both. But are people DMing me like every time I post something? Like, where'd you get that container or that bowl in your kitchen? Like, no. Like, but it's so funny cuz I'm like, I see like other influencers out there and like they'll post the link of like the thing on their like, you know, this is the most irrelevant thing.

Yeah, everyone's asking me for this frame.

Everyone's asking me for this frame, so here's the link, guys. Like, I just— I think I would need a team of people to be able to do that. Like, I, I don't have that, so I can't sit there and go find that on the internet. Obviously, I actually bought that from— I got that from someone, so I don't even know where it came from. Who cares?

No link. No link for the frame, guys.

Yeah, there's just so much, like, soul depth, and I it kept— like I said, I took, you know, that year, a little over a year off from coaching altogether. And I think why I took such a long stint away from it, one, was because like I was like, maybe the coaching thing really isn't what I'm supposed to be doing. So let me just like take a clean break from it all. And granted, then yes, if I come back to it, I'll have enough time in between that maybe people can dissociate me from the whole health coaching thing. But like you said, it just kept coming back to me. That's why I was having conversations with my clients about it. Like, I'm like, this mindset, subconscious reprogramming and human behavior and all this. And they're like, okay, you want to talk to me about this?

You have, right? They're like, you— I can tell what you're passionate about.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I mean, sometimes you just— if it's your thing, it just keeps coming back. It won't leave you alone. It's that purpose that keeps pestering you. And so it's still there, it's still alive. I'm excited for you to like be relaunching things and getting back into it and like finding this Yeah, new, more clearer vision of, of who you are and your values and how you wanna present online. And I appreciate you sharing all the ups and downs of the story because I think a lot of people can relate to that even though they haven't done it under a magnifying glass the same way that you have. And in such a, you know, blown up kind of extreme way, it's like a lot of entrepreneurs are going through the same inner battles and, you know, intense struggles of, do I do this? Do I not do that? Do I follow this? Do I do what makes me the money? Do I make this course? Do I just keep going with this? Do I quit? Do I go back to the 9-to-5? No, that's failure. Okay, yes, I have to. What do I do now? Do I— is coaching not for me? I mean, that just the mental chatter is really exhausting. But there's something to be said for when you keep coming back to it, you know it's meant for you. There is a path, there's only one, you are on it. There's a reason you've been through all the experiences that you have, and I'm excited to see what unfolds next for you.

Thank you, thank you so much. So good.

Yeah, right, me too. Okay, last question before we go, I have to ask ask, obviously, do you think Love Is Blind?

No. I mean, I think if Amber and Matt were not attractive and if Lauren and Cameron were not attractive people, I don't think that they would have gotten— like, stayed together. I don't think so. I mean, I think there is a physical— you got to be physically attracted to somebody.

I just— yep, there it is.

It could be a 5 or 6 or a 7, but their personality will make them a 10 for sure. But there has to be some type of physical attraction.

I think so too. I think so too. All right, there you have it, guys. That's the verdict. Love is not blind, and your purpose will never leave you alone if it's truly meant for you. Thank you for everything, Kelly. This conversation was so amazing. Can you please let our lovely listeners know where they can find you and follow along on your journey, and for more stuff on money mindset, personal development, entrepreneurship, all the things?

Yeah, absolutely. So I hang out mostly on Instagram @chaselifewithkelly, my podcast Chase Life with Kelly. You can anywhere you listen to podcasts. Also, the videos are on YouTube at Chase Life with Kelly. TikTok, I am Kelly Chase. I don't know why I changed the handle on that one, but, uh, we did that one differently. Um, but yeah, chaselifewithkelly.com is where you can find digital courses and other ways to work with me. And if you, you know, I'm also open for speaking gigs, so if you have an opportunity in that regard, would love to, uh, talk about it. So send me a DM on Chase Life with Kelly.

Amazing. Ah, thank you guys so much for listening to this episode. If you enjoyed it, if you are a Love Is Blind fan or you know someone who would just love this conversation, the realness about entrepreneurship, the ups and downs, the journeys, the mental, you know, back and forths. Copy the link, send it to someone who you know could really benefit from listening to this, and we will talk to you guys next week. Love you. Bye. If you loved this episode, make sure to check out the show notes where I've linked a few similar episodes I know you're also going to love. You'll find them under the similar episodes section in the description down below with direct links so you can dive in and start listening right away, or add them to your queue for later. Binge away for even more growth, expansion, abundance, and fire motivation.