Money Management & Overspending in Business w/ Sam Altieri

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You're welcome.

Welcome to the Makeshift Happen podcast. I'm your host, Samantha Daly. Entrepreneur, life coach, and your no BS bestie here to bring you all things mindset, manifestation, and personal development. This podcast is designed to help you expand your mind and uplevel your life. So turn the volume up and roll the windows down if you're coming along for the ride. Let's go make shift happen.

What's up, guys? Welcome back to the podcast. This is an interesting episode. We haven't even begun yet, but I just know that it's going to be so juicy and so raw. And I think there will probably be some vulnerable shares in here as well. So I'm here with Sam and you guys love these episodes when Sam and I get together and just kind of do our like life and business chat. And I called Sam a couple of weeks ago and we were just on the phone for like an hour, just having a regular kind of like catch-up call. And we ended up talking about a lot of the lessons that we've been learning individually in 2022 as it relates to being an entrepreneur in the online coaching business and a lot of things around money and the pace at which we are growing or not growing in this space and how that kind of affects your mindset. And so I really just wanted to turn this into a podcast for you guys. So we're going to try and recreate that conversation and just go back and reflect on a lot of these things that we were just naturally talking about on the phone, because I think it's useful for anyone who is in this space or wants to be in this space, if you are an aspiring coach or entrepreneur, it's always, I think, just so interesting to hear what other business owners are learning and realizing and experiencing and moving through. So I'm excited to do this episode. Thanks for doing it with me, Sam.

Of course, I'm excited too. I feel like this has been a conversation that you and I have been having. I think we've all been having it kind of behind the scenes. Um, me, you, and a lot of other of my entrepreneurial friends are fellow coaches, and it's just kind of like, I feel like it's time to bring it to light, you know what I mean? It's time to like share it. Sorry, there's like a lawnmower person going by, so if you hear that, um, yeah, you know. But yeah, I'm, I'm excited to just talk about the things that I think are actually happening for a lot of coaches that are being swept under the rug and everything's like, it's fine, just pay me. It's fine. You just have a money problem. It's fine. You just have a mindset problem. And it's like, I mean, maybe. And there's a whole other layer that's going on that I feel really called to bring to light. And so I was so glad when, when we were like, let's do this. I'm like, fuck yes, let's go.

Yes. Unafraid. We're just going to bring this conversation to the table. So yeah, I think it like all kind of started with the idea of money. I mean, everything that we're going to talk about in some way, shape, or form kind of like ties back to this experience of finances. And so when we were on the phone, I was talking to you about how this year has been a really great year for me personally in business. Um, the business continues to like grow and, and do more in sales and in revenue than I ever have before. However, I felt like I was maybe the most stressed this year compared to other years, and I had more of, like, a feeling of a financial burden. Even though I was making more money. Yeah, I still felt like it wasn't enough. And there was— that was the thing that was really bothering me, was wanting to get to the root of whatever scarcity had been coming up for me, even in this newfound abundance. There are just a lot of things in my life this year that have required so much responsibility from me, both like personally and professionally. Obviously, I'm doing new things in business. I'm hosting a retreat. I just bought a house. I bought a car, you know, like a lot of just all of the things combined created this like perfect formula of like, oh, you're making more money, but you feel more scarce, which was such like an interesting— it's just such an interesting experience for me. And so I think that's kind of how we started the conversation because I was just talking to you about how I was feeling and that there was— it was— I knew that this was something that I didn't want to allow to perpetuate, was this feeling of like it's never enough, like struggling to really like celebrate the wins or the goals because I still felt somehow that it wasn't good enough or that it wasn't enough to keep me safe or sustain whatever. And that opened up like a larger conversation of us just kind of both being really vulnerable about our experience in business and with money in 2022. I don't know if you want to share kind of like your main realizations from this year, your experience, and then we can kind of unpack that.

Yeah, totally. Also, you're an Enneagram 3, right?

Yeah.

So this weekend I was at an event and one of the women, one of the speakers was an Enneagram expert and she Talks like about, you know, she didn't really talk about each type, but I do know because I am just super fascinated with like human design and the Enneagram and I've studied it a lot and use it in my coaching is like the shadow side of the Enneagram 3 is that it's like more and more and more, never enough, never enough, more accolades, more money. Right. And so the reason why I share that is because I'm an Enneagram 7 and the Enneagram 7, like it's all about fun and, you know, doing all this, like having fun traveling and whatever. But the shadow side of that is like ignoring responsibility or not doing things that you actually know you need to do because you're like, but I'm having so much fun over here, you know? And I remember saying that to you, like, oh my God, Sam, like this year for me, if we were to unpack it and look at it was like, been a series of both incredible experiences. I mean, buying a brand new beautiful van, converting it and living in it, that is like, sometimes I forget that I'm doing that, right? Which is crazy. Just said to Kurt last night, he's like, yeah, I feel the same sometimes. Like I just forget that we do van life, you know? It's just been, it's kind of just part of our normal thing now. And then with Kurt's mom's health situation. Like, we were at her house for like 6 months and that just took such a toll on me because all I wanted to do was escape that. But I didn't pour that energy into my business. I poured that energy into like me because I just, I didn't have like extra energy. And so I think the general theme of this year has been like my business is not the priority. It wasn't even like the second most important thing. And it was probably number 3. And as somebody who grew up being validated so much on my accomplishments and the success I created and how mature I was and how smart I was and like how I always got perfect attendance, like I was always that girl. This year really humbled the shit out of me because I couldn't be that girl because I, I just couldn't. Like, life was like, no bitch, you're not gonna be that. You're gonna surrender to what is. And I think that alone broke me because I've always had it all together, had it all figured out, was doing all the successful things. You know, everyone always had this perception of me like, she's got it together. But meanwhile, I was breaking inside and I I didn't know how to share that online. I didn't know how to share that with anyone because I've never felt so weak and like helpless in my whole life. And I think that was just such a like ego death to be like, wow, I have gone through the phase. And I know we've talked about this a little bit, like of putting our worth into what we look like in our body as somebody who comes from an eating disorder background and so much body image shit. But I've healed that. Like, I have healed that. I'm heavier than I would, let's say, air quotes, like to be right now. But I know that my body needs to be at this weight right now, and that is okay. I have come to peace and found acceptance with my body, and I don't think about it. But when it comes to success, I am still wrapped up in the, if I'm not successful, I'm not worthy. And I'm like, holy shit, I didn't even want to tell my community, my podcast listeners, like, guys, like, I actually don't know what the fuck I'm doing. I actually have gone from making very consistent money in my business to not. Like, what is going on? You know? And it, it was this like really scary feeling because it just felt like I was going downhill with no light at the end of the tunnel. And yeah, that I think has been my most vulnerable, like, share, and will be, is like, wow, what happens when we get everything taken away and we are forced to slow down and be with ourselves? Especially in the van, we have to slow down. It's like really painful actually to be like, wow, I have— I don't think I realized how much I attached my worth to my work, and I don't want to do that anymore. I don't want to create more money or more success out of fear or out of— I need them to know I'm continuing to be successful because that's the trap I fell into. I just kept wanting to make more and more and more and more and more because I was like, well, they're watching. Like, I can't— I can't make less because then they're going to think I'm a failure. And if they think I'm a failure, well, then I must be a failure, you know? And, and realizing, wait a second, That's not the point. And people don't hire me actually for this reason. Like, what? So I— my kind of whole year has been taking a step back, actually asking myself what I want, actually checking in to be like, do my prices feel aligned, or is that what I'm doing because everyone else in the industry is doing? And like, you know, I think just being real with myself and remembering who I was before I even entered the coaching industry and kind of coming back to that version of me that's like, you know, so like, not that I wasn't heart-centered, but I think it's really easy to like let greed take over, you know, just let more money just be the thing. And I'm like, I don't want that. That was never— it's not why I started my business. I started my business to help people, like purely that was it. And I'm like, somewhere along the way, I think just consuming social media and having certain mentors, it's like more money, bigger launches, more people, more money, more. It's like, oh my God, it's exhausting. And I don't want to do that. I don't even care. I've had to say this, like, I don't care how much money I make this year or the next however many years because I just want to be in alignment, you know, I want to be at peace. And if that means I get there slower, so be it. I would rather be happy than stress the fuck out and putting so much pressure on myself to You know, keep improving every single month.

Okay.

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Yeah, I think there's an interesting realization too of like even like when you were like making more money or having bigger launches or bigger groups or whatever it was, it's like the realization that that wasn't happiness either. Right. But you have to go through this shame tunnel of, like, oh my God, this is so embarrassing that I'm not holding up the image that I set myself as. I set myself to this standard in front of everybody. And then what you said of, like, they're watching, that gave me goosebumps because I think that is the I think that's something that's really unique about being in the online space. You know, there's a lot of people that are working in corporate jobs and they may have really big goals and ambitions and wanting to get to the next level. And people also might have, you know, motivations for success in other arenas that are based out of the same thing of like fear or doubt or wanting to prove their worthiness or feeling their worth through their sense of success. But they don't have that added element of everybody kind of like watching them and knowing just because you— and even if you're a person that doesn't share your numbers or your sales explicitly online or through Instagram, it's like people can still see who's joining your program or like how many people you're serving because you have to share like content about your work in order to sell more of your work. So like you can't just like get around like not ever talking about it. Yes. So it's like people in some way, shape, or form, people are going to know, feel, see, or sense what the situation is. Yes. You know, in terms of like finances or like success, they may not know specific numbers, but it's like a gauge because we have to share so much online in order to keep this machine running. And I think that's the most exhausting thing is feeling like this is a machine that needs to keep running. And the thing that keeps it running is me looking like I'm super were mega successful and then you're running on a treadmill that you can't figure out how to turn the off button. Yes. And so you get fucking thrown off. And I think that was like '22 for you was like, well, I'm like not even near the treadmill anymore.

I'm splat against the wall like a pancake.

Yeah. You're like, I'm crumpled up in a corner on the other side of the gym. Like, you know. Yeah. And then, and then realizing, you know, first probably going through this phase of like, I got to get back to the treadmill. I was like, I got to get— I got to get back to that space. I got to figure out how to, you know, put the wheels back in motion, get this machine running again. But then eventually it's like, oh wait, like, I actually— I didn't enjoy running on the treadmill, right? So like, I'm not— I'm actually not going back in that direction.

Yeah. And I think literally that's been exactly it. And I've had so many conversations with other coaches, other entrepreneurs very successful or even just starting out that are going through this, that like realize that they were building something that wasn't what they really wanted. But because they were going so fast or just trying to keep up with themselves, they, they didn't even like take a step back to check in with themselves to be like, is this what I really want? You know, and yeah, I mean, I think going back to the treadmill analogy, it's like I am going to take caution to noticing when I approach walking near that treadmill again because it's not a place I want to be. Like, it's really not. And I think since letting go of a bunch of different offerings in my business and really focusing on one thing, like, I really just needed to come back to like one thing for now, which is my membership. For like new coaches and all of that, that has felt so fucking amazing for me and for just where so many people are at right now financially or with everything going on in the world, um, or in their life. There's like a lot of changes and transitions happening. And I was just like, I feel like what we need more now than ever is community, myself included.. And it's like, that's what I wanna create and really like nurture and focus on. So I've been doing that for the past, I mean, I started it in January, but like, you know, that's been growing consistently and that has felt amazing. Amazing. And it's like, I don't know where it's going, but I know like it's a full body yes. Like it's so in alignment. Like everyone in there is like, ah, yes. You know? And it, and it feels so good for me in this season. And sure. I'll create something new soon. But like right now I really needed to take a step back and be like, what can I really go all in on? And I think for, for people listening, if, if you're in this situation or you found yourself kind of like building a business that you actually don't like or, you know, focusing on something that you're like, I don't even like want to do this, like just take a step back and be like, what can you go all in on? Like what does feel amazing? And so for me, I'm going like all in on my podcast and all in on my membership, and that's it for right now. And not doing a million things. Like, I'm fucking getting focused. And you know, that ADHD brain likes to do a million things, and I'm like, no, Sam, focus. Make this membership the best fucking membership the world has ever seen. Make the podcast the best podcast ever, and then move on to other things. So that's kind of been my plan of action and that's felt really good for my nervous system, just for everything. It just— it feels like, okay, like I'm feeling momentum again, you know, my energy isn't like in a million places. Excuse me. Like, that feels really fucking good.

So, yeah. Yeah. Well, I think it's kind of like sometimes simplification is more powerful than multiplication, right? So being able to choose to simplify rather than to multiply everything that you're already doing and just like really refine what that looks like. Um, and even we talked about like how underrated it is to have sort of a minimalist like business. Yeah, in terms of like costs and things. And this, this ties into, to this idea of simplification. Um, because I was lucky enough in 2021 to have a private mentor for 3 months who was really successful, multi-millions of dollars, grew super fast, like hit 7 figures in the first year, but then also experienced this like crumbling, crashing down moment of her business where things just like really blew up. People got really nasty trying to cancel her online and she basically had to like go away and go offline and, and really have this serious, like, I think, a year-long, like, personal journey, which reminds me so much of the moment of getting thrown off the treadmill.

Yeah, I'm like, I have goosebumps.

Yeah. Like, what do I— like, she just, like, went off of Instagram, like, just, like, disappeared and, like, went, like, running around the country and, like, discovering herself and, like, on a soul journey. And it's just like her mentorship was special for me for so many reasons, but One thing that I want to say to you is that having someone like that as a mentor was actually enticing to me rather than being a deterrent of like, oh, something happened where it blew up in her face and, you know, everybody hated her then and she got canceled. Like, oh, you know, she's a failure. For me, it was more like at some point things are going to get hard in our businesses. At some point, if we are running on that treadmill, we're all— we're going to get thrown off. And how do you navigate that? How do you handle that? And wouldn't it be wise to be advised by someone who's been through that journey, because I think it's probably one of the hardest journeys of entrepreneurship is feeling everything crumble and then having to start back up again. Yeah. The point in me bringing her story to the forefront, which at first I didn't even really tie the two things together, but they're so connected. She was, she was amazing for me because she really highlighted to me this idea of minimalist, like being a minimalist in business and what that looked like in terms of, you know, the softwares that you pay for and employees and just the overall like cost and things of running your business and how to do things in a way that are very like simple and streamlined and not very expensive. And yeah, I remember like sharing with you some of the things that she told me when we were in Tulum of just like, just the different ways that like I was doing stuff because I had that mentorship, which was so awesome. But there's— we also spoke about like this indoctrination in this industry of just constantly spending and that the more, the more that you spend and the more team members that you have and the more softwares that you have and the more employees that you have and the more automations that you have, and it's just more, more, more, more, more equals you look better, you look more successful. And there's a lot of people that get caught in that trap of like overgrowing, or like, yeah, like trying to keep up with like what looks like success and then realizing, wait, like, I don't even think my business like needs this right now. Like, why am I spending all this money?

Yeah, I mean, you know this, I went through a phase where I had like 5 or 6 team members. And I was like, what am I doing? Like, it— I think honestly it all came back to me, like, just when I had money, I would spend it. It was like, that was actually just the thing. It was like, oh, I had the money, like, sure, let me just like hire this person that's gonna do my website, or let me just hire this person for branding, or let me just hire this person for whatever. Because it was kind of fun at that point. Me. But what I realized is that is— that was tens of thousands of dollars I could have saved in my business or saved personally. And I didn't need all of those things. And now I'm at— I have 2 people on my team who work not that many hours for me. And what I basically had to do was let go of my entire team. And it was just me and my community manager. I knew exactly what she was doing. And like, I even cut her role down. And I did everything in my business for like 3 months to be like, wow, I was assigning so many tasks and so many things that actually didn't fucking need to be done. I was overcomplicating the shit out of everything. I was overthinking everything. I was making everything so much harder for myself. And I really had to learn that the hard way to be like— and I'm even thinking about shrinking my team even more. I'm like, do I need 2 people? Like, hmm. Hmm, you know, and it's a conversation I'm having constantly with myself of like assessing like, where can I increase the bottom line? I never thought like that when I started my business, honestly. And maybe because like, I was just so caught up in the excitement of doing the thing that I was like, oh, the money's fine. It's all fine. You know, I wasn't really actually thinking about business as a business. But like, come on, like when you get to the end of the year and you look at your numbers, Like, how much are you profiting? You know, how much money are you saving? How much money are you investing into, into not just mentors but like the stock market? You know, things that are actually going to help you long term. Like, why we started our businesses may have been to help people, but eventually the, the goal to help people and the goal to get yourself to a financially free place, I think, become pretty even. You know, it, it's both. And I think I was such a people pleaser that like, I was like, I'm just gonna give it all away. Oh, this person wants to work for me. Cool. Here's 10 grand. Like for me to think about how deep that pattern runs. And I know so many women listening are freaking people pleasers, so I'm calling you out, but it's like, don't build your business for anyone but you and make it so fucking simple. And like, really sit with yourself before you make any decision to hire anyone, a mentor, somebody on your team. Like, really do the, like, the value and the cost and, and take time with your decisions. Like, do not rush because, oh my God, the early bird's ending and I need to get in and I need to make this. Like, so what? You're going to be happy that you gave yourself the extra space. I literally just did this, actually. I'll share an example, but you're going to be happy that you're giving yourself the extra space to make an intentional, mindful decision around your money. And I have never been— it's so sad to admit, but I've never been intentional with my money. I never have. I saw Kurt, my fiancé, he is like so good with money. I mean, he comes from— his mom was like in wealth management. And so I think he just kind of had a general understanding of like saving and like don't spend more than you have and like the basics of money. But the basics of money aren't basic for everyone, you know, like common sense around money isn't actually that common. So I really had to learn those lessons and he told me things, but I didn't listen. I'm so fucking stubborn. I had to learn it. You know, I had to kind of end up pancake the other side of the gym, off the treadmill, fucking looking at my bank account like, what the fuck? Looking at my credit card like, oh my God. You know, to be like, wow, I never want any other woman building a business to experience this. And like teaching more about financial literacy and just all of that and like how to actually invest because. You don't need as much as you think.

Yeah.

It's like your eyes are bigger than your plate. Your eyes are bigger than your bank account. Yeah.

Well, and part of this that we talked about is, well, one, we, we kind of discussed this idea of like money management, right? Which is, I think it's a less popular conversation than the one of money mindset in the space that we're in, you know, when it comes to like spiritual circles and online coaching, like everyone's talking about money mindset. And the way that we're talking about money mindset is you can always have more, you can always make more, there's always enough. Like, spend money to make money, hashtag abundance. Like, live your best life. Like, act like you're rich. Like, right?

And I did it, Mom, I did it!

You're like, I did it, and now I No money left. I don't know what happened. What happened?

I think the money mindset broke.

Yeah, but it really is like, we have to, as individuals, be so discerning with that information. Like, even as someone myself who teaches a lot of money mindset, I have multiple courses that go in depth into money and wealth and embodiment and and all of the pieces of it. But it's like, of course, within that is the responsibility of every individual to be assessing what their capability is in that moment in time in their life. Right. And it's not just always, you know, hire another employee to look more successful or, you know, add people to your team or get the best, most expensive software because you have to spend money to make money. Sometimes we spend money to make money, and sometimes we just spend money because we think that it's going to make us look a certain way or that it's going to help us make money, but it's not actually an income-producing thing. Yeah. And, and so it's, it's this being able to be discerning and understand for yourself, is this something that's really important to me? Is this something that's really valuable to me? Is this actually going to help me? Do I want to invest in this from a place of fear or from a place of excitement? And like you said, just being really intentional with those things.

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Yeah. Yeah. As you were talking, this popped up for me because I shared this with Kurt the other day. I was like, holy shit. I had this like big moment of realization because I knew you haven't had like a high-level mentor this year. Right.

No, I've done a couple of little things here and there, but no one-on-one mentor for 2022. And that was kind of a, a goal of— not like a goal, but it was an intentional decision of mine.

Yeah. Okay. So I was in the same boat, but then in— let's see, what month was it? June, I think. I kind of was like, not that I caved, it was more just like, oh my gosh, like it was so uncomfortable for me to not have a mentor. And I think two reasons. One, and I feel like maybe women listening can relate around one, being codependent. Like I've shared with you, I am a recovering codependent. I am recovering from a really intense anxious attachment style and realizing that was showing up in my business. I felt like I needed somebody else or a mentor to do it with me, or else I couldn't do it. Like, I couldn't trust myself to do the things. And like, we could go into where all that comes from, but that's not the point of today. So I think that's a big one. But then the other one was I was spending money on mentorship or programs to avoid responsibility and actually doing the work. I wanted more information so that I could procrastinate on the actual work that I knew I needed to do. Isn't that insane? It is so insane. And every single, like, mentor that I invested in this year or program, it's not that I didn't learn anything, right? It's not that. It's just that I was like, I didn't need this. Jesus. Yeah. And then I was like, all right, not doing this again, not doing this again. Then I did it again. Then I was like, nope, this is a different thing. No, I've realized actually at a certain point in your business, you don't need another mentor. You need to fucking do the work.

That's what you need.

And I need to do the fucking work. And I have been now of realizing, oh my God, I was just sneakily procrastinating and it was fucking over my bank account and my business growth because I wasn't actually doing things to move the needle ahead. I wasn't being productive. I was just scrambling, flailing and saying, I can't do it. I need somebody, you know, because the coaching industry literally brainwashed me to be like, well, how do you expect people to invest in you if you don't invest in you? Oh my God, blah blah blah. Like, invest in yourself and make it back tenfold. I would literally say that shit to myself all the time. No wonder, like, that's just not true. Like, you, you're, you're a perfect example. Your business grew like what, at least I don't know, double, at least double, and the year's not even over. You haven't had a one-on-one mentor, right? And last year, like, we were in a mastermind together and I didn't actually see that much business growth. And I realized that was just 2-hour calls on my calendar every week that were like ways for me to avoid doing the thing. And I have such an avoidant— oh man, this pattern of avoidance has been showing up so much lately of like, damn, Sam. Damn, you know? And I know so many of you listening are like, fuck, this is so me. Like, I am so avoiding everything I need to be doing and thinking I need another program. No, you don't, bitch. You need to just sit down and do your work. You literally need to do your fucking work. I'm saying this to myself. I'm— I mean, I have this little new productivity planner for my brain because I'm like, I need to get motherfucking organized, right? Like, if I'm going to be a CEO of a multiple 6 or 7 figure company, I need to be organized. Like, it's, it's a non-negotiable at this point. And I have avoided it for 3 years. I'm pretty proud of myself. I've been like, just right in the like, let's just wing it phase. I'm done with it. I am so done. It has fucked me over in so many ways. And I'm like, I told Kurt, I'm like, I am breaking up with this pattern. I am so fucking over it, you know? Like, put in the fucking work. Like, a mentor is not gonna save you. A program is not gonna save you. The only person that's gonna actually help you is if you hire somebody somebody in your business to do things for you, sure, you can avoid getting away from the work. But if you hire Samurai, you're still gonna have to do the work. It's not like we're gonna come into your Canva and like make your little slide deck for you. Like, you still gotta fucking do that, you know? And I think like this is the tough love I needed. And so I'm just giving it to you, not you, but everyone listening and you maybe. But it's like, yo, just sit your ass down, and get to work. Like, set a goddamn timer and do one thing every day, the most important thing. Do it first thing. Stop avoiding it. And that's what I've been doing for this whole year. This whole goddamn year I have been doing that. And I'm like, no wonder why. Huh?

Huh? Yeah, interesting. Yeah. Oh my God. Oh my God. There's so— I know people listening to this are like, holy shit, like, this is real. You guys are getting like the real truth, you know what I mean? Like, we're not here to like bullshit for you. No, this is the real real. This is like what we talk about behind the scenes. And so I just felt like it was important for everybody else to hear it because this is what needs to be heard. And I think, look, all the messaging around like you have to invest in yourself in order for others to invest in you and spend money to make money, all of that. And any other messaging in this industry or any other industry, the thing that we have to remember is that whatever someone is saying could be true for the right person. And you also just have to be open to the fact that it is not true for you right now or in this moment. Right. And I think that's what— I think that's what messes people up is thinking like, oh, if you're a coach, you always need to have a coach or you need to be investing so that other people invest. And while some, like, while that's true at certain stages, right? And at certain points, like, yes, is it important to be in a group coaching setting or to be in a mastermind before you create one so that you know what it feels like or what people may need? Totally. Are there points where you get to a place in your business where you've hit like a bottleneck where you are doing all of your things and you're doing the work and you've exhausted the systems that you created or that are available to you and you're like, well, I need to figure something else out now because I somehow can't get past this point anymore. So I need to find someone that can help me do that. In those moments, is it helpful to then hire a mentor or someone who has done that that you want to learn from? Yes. But the messaging and the marketing that you see around programs and coaching and stuff, it's not like it's 100% true all of the time for every single person. You know, and I think that was like for me in 2022, just being able to be like, I know we've talked about this, like, well, I, I just, I'm so easily like, I'm just, I'm the number one consumer. Like, I'm, I'm so easily convinced. Like, and I just put me in a Sephora store and I will buy any product. Like, you tell me that it like smooths wrinkles, bitch, I'm buying it. Like, whatever it is. Like, I'm just I'm just so easily sold. It is not challenging at all to sell me, right? And so I think for 2022, what I told you was realizing I have invested so much in 2022 through masterminds and private mentors and all these other things. I have so many tools. I have a system that is working for me right now. I need to work that system, right? I have these tools, I have this setup. Like, let me just work it. And I need to trust myself that I know what I'm doing. And when, if and when I get to a point in my business where I'm like, hey, I don't know what I'm doing anymore because I've exhausted these systems and I've outgrown them, or I want to outgrow them, then I can go from there. But yeah, yeah, I think for everyone listening, just knowing, like, if someone's saying like, you need to be joining this program if you want to feel this way or do this thing, that might be true for some people listening, but it's not always true for you. And you have to be the person that's, you know, decisive and intentional.

Yes. You said something. I feel like, how do I say this? You said the word self-trust, and I know you shared like self-trust is your biggest missus strategy. And I think, Sam, you are somebody who has trusted herself actually in your entire business journey. And that is, I don't wanna say a privilege, but I think that's, it's arguably the number one business strategy. Your intuition, your gut is going to give you more powerful, um, answers and advice than any business mentor, myself and Sam included. I can guarantee that, right? And there are so many women walking around, and I know this because all of my clients are this, who are not connected to their intuition. They're actually so disconnected from their intuition and from their body. And that was me. That I'm still actually learning how to connect to my intuition after years of like trauma and disassociation and disembodiment and hating myself and not wanting to be in the body I was in, you know. And I think so many women like this is— if this is you, if you have body image issues, if you don't like what you see in the mirror, if you feel like like, you know, you, you can't sit with yourself, like chances are you're going to have a hard time in your business because you're not going to have access to the most powerful business tool, which is your intuition. And if there's one thing that I would recommend is like, seriously, start working on connecting back to your body into your intuition. And this has been The only thing that's gotten me out of the complete shit show of a 2022 was for me in getting back connected to myself and what I actually want to create. And that requires coming back to the heart, you know, that requires slowing down, that requires like having moments of stillness and fun and being in nature where you're not thinking about your goddamn business. Where you're actually just present so that you can receive the little, you know, things in the back of your mind that are telling you, you know, your intuition whispers to you so softly, like it's like you have to shut the fuck up to hear it. You know, you have to stop letting your mind go a million miles an hour. And it's like sometimes it's like we need to hear that tough love to be like, dude, get the fuck out of your head. Like, go dance. That's why I'm such an advocate for dance, because I'm in my head 24/7. Go dance. Like, go do yoga. Go do meditation or breathwork. Put your feet in the earth. Like, because scrolling on social media is not going to solve your business problems. I promise. I tried. I literally tried this year to be like, okay, I'm going to like, you know, I'm going to consume all the things. That's not it. You need to stop consuming. You need to go create. Space to receive your own wisdom. Because just like you probably have heard that term that's like, you are your own most powerful healer. Yeah. And you're also your own most powerful strategy, right? But strategy comes from the soul. It doesn't come from somebody else, right? And if, and if I went to Sam and was like, Sam, help me with my business, she would have told me whatever she would have told me. Okay, we're gonna launch this program, blah, blah, blah, blah. But she wouldn't have known that, like, my soul and my heart was like, I actually want to make a membership for new coaches and I want to charge $55 a month for it. Does it make sense? No. Am I going to make that much money? I don't know. But that's what feels so good. That's what I feel like the world needs right now. So that's what, that's what I want to make. And I got to follow that because I'm going to be fully behind it because I know why I created it. I know why it's so important to me, like, for all these reasons I've shared today. So I think like maybe cool it on the personal development, maybe cool it on the consumption, maybe cool it on the scrolling. Unfollow. I just did this too. I unfollowed every single business coach, literally, except like my friends, you know, like Sam. Um, I'm like, I don't want any of your bullshit advice. It's great. It's great. But I've always been just the way that I mentor my clients is like, you have the answers. I don't know. I don't know what you should do. Like, don't put that type of pressure on me. Don't put me on a pedestal. Like, I don't know, you know. And so often we're so quick to answer when I ask a question or when you ask your client a question, right? It's like they're like, I don't know. It's like, yes, you do. You just are so used to being in this default of I don't know that you go to that and then you outsource your power to somebody else. Right, go connect to your intuition. Stop saying I don't know. Yes, you freaking do. You do know, but you have to stop giving your power away to anyone on the internet, including us. Like, you need to start trusting yourself because Sam is a case in point. Like, she has trusted herself. You have been very connected to your intuition. It's been beautiful, right? I've always admired that about about you. I'm like, it's felt so not easy for you, but I've witnessed your, your journey. I've known you since not the very beginning, but like, you know, for a while now, almost 2 years. We were talking about this, like our 2-year friendversary, like, oh my God, besties, what's up? And I've like literally loved watching you because you're just literally following your intuition. It's like you don't need to ask for permission. You don't need to ask anyone, hey, what do you think? Hey, what should It's like you actually are so deeply connected to it, right? And it's like, as I'm on this journey of being like, oh, hot damn, this is actually the thing, right?

Yeah.

Kind of what all of my clients, everyone in my membership too, are like realizing they're so disconnected from their own power, right? And it's like, if you're listening to this and you resonate, get yourself into rooms where this conversation is happening. Not, here's how to launch your program, because launching your program is going to mean jack shit if you don't know what you want to launch or you're not even connected to your business or you're like so scared to even, you know, it's like you—

Yeah. Or you don't, you don't know how to trust yourself to make any decision, right? If you, if you always need a coach or somebody to tell you what to do or what price to make it or like, like you, like we have to help our clients develop that sense of connection to their intuition and self-trust. I think that's really like the coaching journey is less about— I mean, of course there's strategies and things that we can share with you that have worked for us and that we've learned along the way. But ultimately, like you said, Sam, the journey is really about like cultivating that sense of self-trust within our clients so that they can actually have a successful journey without us. Eventually, right? So that they can get to the point which we both kind of reached in 2022, which was, I know that I'm at a place of knowing enough to be able to do this on my own. Now the question is, can I trust myself to do it on my own?

Right?

Because you had more than enough knowledge to continue running your business on your own. But then there were these little like booby traps along the way where the marketing was really sexy or the messaging was like, made it feel like it was going to save you. And I think that's what we have to watch out for. And sometimes things are right and sometimes we just want a Band-Aid in that moment or we just want that feeling of like, well, I can take my foot off the gas and I can remove responsibility because I just joined this program and this is going to help me get organized or this is going to help me get set up or this is going to help me make more money. Right. And it's like you get to take that burden off of yourself and place it onto a program or a coach or a course for a little while until you realize, I kind of knew a lot of that stuff. I mean, maybe I learned a few new things here or there, but that didn't really help me because I'm still not doing the things that I'm supposed to be doing, right? Or that I know that I could be doing in my business. So I think that's a really, really extremely valuable point for anybody listening to this is being able to develop that discernment within yourself of, do I actually need this or do I just want to be saved? Mm.

Oh, so good. Yeah. It's like, baby, you get to save yourself. That's the business journey. I mean, it really is like, who knew that when we signed up for entrepreneurship, it would be like 10x spiritual awakening, spiritual journey, personal growth, like facing your deepest, darkest demons and shadows and healing your inner child and like literally doing all that.

So much like worthiness and shame and yeah, all the things.

My God.

I think the last thing that I want to touch on is just the idea that we spoke about in terms of like choosing mentors because we're kind of like in this conversation already a little bit, but choosing mentors based on who they're being and not necessarily how much money they're making. And this, this idea that we're speaking about of being discerning and not one thinking that a coach or mentor is going to be your savior, but also being mindful not to not like take on every part of a coach's energy. We talked about that of like almost like becoming your coach, like becoming like the carbon copy of like who you're in mentorship with.

Yeah.

Yeah. Which is like, it's challenging.

It is because you're not like trying to do it on purpose, you know? It's like, I think it just kind of happens subconsciously. I know, you know, even if you go on Instagram and you go on the Explore page, if you are a coach and you've been— you follow a lot of coaches, you're going to see like such similar, like, vibe, right? Like, it's like, it's either like somebody has like written in the notes section of their phone and screenshotted it and like made it a carousel. Like, that's like very common thing. Or like there's a few things that you can be like, oh, okay, this person learned this from this person who learned this from this person who learned.

You can see the train of mentorship of like, okay, this is the— this is a really big coach and she coaches this person and this person coaches this person. And there's a lot of like a similar thread. There's a similar through line of messaging, of content, of style, of what they're speaking about, of sharing numbers or whatever it is, like you can see how that, you know, energetically it trickles down. I think it's natural. Yeah. But we talked about making the conscious decision for ourselves to be more intentional about maintaining our individual essence, even when we are working with mentors.

Yeah, totally. I feel like I'm trying to think of like how, how we do this. I know for me, I, I think I did get a little bit caught in the trap of like things needing to be more perfect. Like just who doesn't, right? It's like you need your feet to look better, blah, blah, blah. Um, but I think I've found that like I'm kind of a messy human, like in real life. And I do have like a little like kind of like that rough around the edges. Like, I'm a little like that, you know. I live in a van, for Christ's sakes. Like, come on. I— and I think pretending— when you start pretending, that's when you know you've lost yourself, you know. When you can just be yourself and just like share from that place, I think that's it. And I think that people are often afraid to show up as their normal air quotes self in fear that it's not enough, you know. And so they do adopt their coaches, let's say, aesthetic or vibe or message or whatever, because deep down, like a deep-seated wound is like they don't feel enough, right? And so I would encourage you, I feel like it's just, it's this piece around worthiness. Of like who you are and what you have to say does matter. You know, it's like really checking in with yourself, coming back to your intuition, like using discernment and, and even I don't know how much you use like tools like the Enneagram or Human Design or even like the brand archetypes, but even things like that can really help you discover who you are as a unique personal brand. So that you don't become the product of everything around you, you know. Um, that's something I keep coming back to, uh, specifically the brand archetypes. I teach this in, in my membership. I, I don't know if you've used that in your business, but it is such a helpful tool to just kind of give you an idea of like, oh, okay, like the general color scheme, like kind of the vibe You kind of fill out like a questionnaire and then it kind of spits back to you like your type and you can identify, identify with it or not. But I think even just knowing more about who you are offline so that, you know, when you host retreats one day, when you host events one day, people aren't surprised, right? When they meet you in real life and they're like, oh, whoa, this is not who I thought you were. Were, right? It's like, yeah, just congruence is gonna help you. It's gonna make it so much easier. And like, trying to be somebody you're not, even if it's not on purpose, that's just really tiring. And I've, I've totally been in a season of that, and I'm not anymore. But, um, I think just trying to like, I don't know, be more— like, I thought feminine had to look a certain way, you know what I mean? Because, oh my God, I need to buy all white and like I need to wear these like really lacy like things and like I need to— and I was like, Christ, I can't do this because I'm just spilling food on myself. Because like that's literally what I do. I'm like, I'm not that light angelic energy. I'm more like tough love, bad bitch. Like, that's right.

And you're not— you're not gonna be like on the podcast being like, yeah, making the noises. The noises. Like, I So true. There's such like— there's these stereotypical images in our head of what we think like we have to be in order to fit that box. And I think an example that came to mind when you mentioned retreats, which was so funny, I was— so when I was thinking of planning this retreat, I originally wanted to do it in the US because I just kind of felt like that would be easier for me to tackle for like the first retreat. Like, you know, let's keep it in the borders, like, you know. And so I was thinking about going to Sedona because I've never been there and it's a place that I've always wanted to go to. And I remember polling my audience, like, you know, for this retreat, like, where would you guys love to come? And it was like desert, beach, mountains, like something. And everybody was saying beach. And the truth is, like, beach is so my vibe. Like, yeah, it is my, my, my branding has like always been palm trees. Like even before I manifested like living here on the beach, it's like that's always been kind of my aesthetic and my vibe. And so I was like, why am I trying to do like a desert vibe? I'm not, I'm not going to Sedona. Like, not to say I'll never go there or never host anything there. I think it's an incredible place. But I just noticed, like in terms of like the brand archetypes and what you were speaking about, it was like, no, I actually want want my first retreat to be like white sand, palm trees, tropical location. Like, that's me. Like, that's what me feels like. I don't need to try and fit the mold of like, I'm gonna be this like spiritual guru who's like hosting this thing in Sedona, like wearing a big hat. You know what I mean? Like, so it's funny, it'll show up for us in, in different ways. But staying true to yourself And not making any of the other things wrong either. I think that's important for me to say too. Like, I also wear hats and like, maybe you, maybe, maybe sometimes you wear lace, Sam, but like, you know, it's like none of it's wrong, but it's just about honoring who you actually are instead of trying to fit in that box so that you feel like you're you know, looking the part, let's say.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I think that's like, it's literally like the— I feel like that's another way people pleasing shows up. It's just little ways like, oh, like I got to like, you know, everyone's got to see this. You know, it's like we, we tell ourselves all these stories about what success looks like. And I think honestly, this weekend going to— I shared with you a little bit before we hit record, like Like I was at a, um, a women's empowerment event for like, with like 500 women. And I feel like the vibe was so down to earth and it's so refreshing having somebody so down to earth. And so just, yo homies, what's up? You know, like just so real, like wearing, wearing whatever she was wearing, like doing her thing, just being herself. And it's like you don't have to look a certain way to be successful or to be a great coach. Like, I mean, I've really learned that being in the van for sure of like I can still get my clients insanely powerful results and I'm like sitting half naked in the van, you know, like it's like you don't have to change who you are to be successful. And I feel like a lot of women need to hear that because there's this image of what success looks like. And you don't need to look like anything. You just need to own who you are and what you look like. And like, really love that. And obviously I'm such a— like, I'm just such an advocate for like self-love and body acceptance and just owning who you are. You know, that's one of— that's, I would say, the second most powerful business strategy right behind self-trust.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that's like where my whole journey started too, was with body image and self-acceptance. Like, I'd say it's, it's not only like an important stepping stone, I think it's a required stepping stone. Yeah, almost like not a prerequisite in the sense of like you need to figure that out before you can have a successful business. But I think it's inevitably part of the journey.

Yeah. Because if, if you're too scared to be seen or speak, No one can find you, you know? It's like we can't hide. You can't hide or else, well, no one's going to find you.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, I've loved this conversation. This was so good. You turned out even better than the first time, I think.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, baby. No, this is— this was awesome. I, I feel, you know, it's like you have a conversation and you're just like, damn, I feel like a little lighter, you know? It's like one of those moments of like, yeah, that felt so good to say and share. And obviously it's so nice doing it with you. And I love our episodes. They're just so fun.

I know they're fun because they're just real as fuck.

Yeah.

Well, we are going to Tony Robbins next weekend, which is very exciting. I will update you guys about that on the podcast very soon. But yeah, I'm excited to see you in person.

I know I'm going to come squeeze you and jump on your bed and kiss Storm and Mijaime, let's go! Meaning the whole fam.

Yes, I'm so excited. Sam's coming down to Florida. We're going to Tony Robbins. It's going to be a really, really amazing time. Thank you guys so much for listening to this episode. I hope you enjoyed it. I know it was a real one. So if you know somebody that you think needs to hear this message, take a screenshot, share to your Instagram stories, or copy the link and just send it to a friend someone else, you know, in the space, someone who's building a business, who's a coach or anything like that in the entrepreneurial world. I think this conversation is gonna be really helpful and really healing for so many women in this space. So thanks for having it with me, Sam. As always, make sure you guys are following Sam, and if you do screenshot this episode, tag both of us so that we can see what you are sharing and know that you enjoyed it so we can make more episodes like this one. And we will talk to you guys soon.

Bye!

Bye guys!