Nervous System Regulation while Skyrocketing to Multi 6 Figures w/ Becca Nicholls

The wait is over and it is finally back, you guys. Abundant and Ambitious is now open for enrollment. This is my 16-week business mastermind for early and aspiring coaches. This is one of my favorite programs that I get to run. You do not need to be certified or an expert in your field. You do not need to be self-employed. You don't need to have a big following on social media. You don't need to be a mindset coach or a business coach like me, and you don't even need to have paying clients yet. We are going to give you all of the tools that you need in order to massively grow your business. Here's what you're going to get inside of Abundant and Ambitious. You're going to get 12 of my best business trainings, and you're also going to get the chance to sit down with me every single week on our weekly live hot seat coaching calls on Zoom and ask me your personal juicy questions about your business, your offers, what you're building, and what advice you might desire from me. You're going to get 4 months of intimate support, have the opportunity to upgrade to an exclusive content workshop with me, access our vault of 9 incredible guest expert sessions, the networking, the community, the cross-pollination with other members of this mastermind. And you're also going to get homework, bonus resources, EFT, and meditations every single week. My mission with Abundant and Ambitious has always been to provide high-level business coaching for the woman who wants to get ahead without the high-level price tag. I am so beyond proud of the insane value that is packed inside of this 4-month mastermind, and for the price that it is, you cannot find something like this in this industry. It doesn't exist. This much value, this much contact time, the ability to ask personalized questions, get guidance, the collaboration, the sisterhood, all of it for this price. It just doesn't exist anywhere else. Click the link in the show notes below for all the details and payment plan options, and feel free to DM me over on _samanthadaily on Instagram with any questions that you might have. Are you ready to make your passion your paycheck? What's up, you guys? Welcome back to the podcast. Oh my goodness, are you in for a treat with Welcome to today's episode. What happens when you put two fire signs in a room? You get a lot of no BS real talk, and that is exactly what is gonna be delivered in this episode. I am joined by somatic business and mindset coach, one of my longtime clients and friends, and just all around badass, Becca Nichols. She is back on the show. I know you guys love her, and in this conversation we're gonna touch on the mindset shifts and personal growth that was all behind Becca's quantum leap to a multi-six-figure business. So we're gonna talk about exactly exactly how Becca 5x'd her monthly income and so many things that came along with that. The bucket theory and why putting things on the back burner is actually okay. What to do when your friends and family aren't happy for you, or maybe they are triggered by your success and evolution and you becoming a new version of yourself. Chasing dopamine through these high cash months and major milestones versus building sustainable long-term success. Why Becca actually rejects the idea of balance and how she thrives without it. Mastering your nervous system regulation amid those emotional highs and lows of entrepreneurship that are inevitable, what it means to be a solid human, and Becca's unfiltered opinions on what it's been like to be in my world and in so many of my programs and masterminds. You guys are going to love this episode. It is unfiltered. It is no BS. It's like the real and raw behind the scenes of what it looks like when you really start growing and changing and making more money and what that feels like in your body and what happens in your social circle as a result of it. And how your life evolves and changes and you find yourself in foreign countries and on these trips and doing these things that maybe you feel like you're an imposter in your own life because you have grown so much that you can't even believe that what you've created is actually real and it's yours. We literally talk about all of it. You are going to love this episode. So let's dive right in. Welcome to the Makeshift Happen podcast. I'm your host, Samantha Daly. Entrepreneur, life coach, and your no BS bestie here to bring you all things mindset, manifestation, and personal development. This podcast is designed to help you expand your mind and uplevel your life. So turn the volume up and roll the windows down if you're coming along for the ride. Let's go make shift happen.

Welcome back to the show, Becca, coming back for your second appearance on Makeshift Happen. We're so excited to have you. Welcome.

I feel very special. I feel like there's a medal or something that I should get having a second appearance because it feels like a real honor and privilege.

Yeah, I'll mail you your award shortly after we wrap this episode, but a lot has transpired since the last time that you were on the show. So for anyone who's not really familiar with our story, I'm like just going to go into this like, hey, like, and everyone's like, who the fuck is this girl? So for anyone who's not familiar, I'm sure a lot of you guys do know Becca and like are part of her community as well, but we go way back. I originally took on Becca as a life coaching client back in 2020, 2021, and we've worked together in various ways pretty much ever since. You've been in from birth. Badass, Abundant and Ambitious, Top Tier Mastermind, and now private mentorship. Just really climbing that offer suite. We've been on a journey together and seeing you grow and thrive and evolve, it's been so rewarding and so much fun. Like, working with you is honestly like one of my greatest pleasures. Our energies just match so well and it's just been so fun to be able to be on the ride with you. And I've always known that you kind of had that special sauce, so seeing what you've been able to achieve is, you know, of course impressive, but it's also kind of like, duh, You know, like we knew that that would happen. So speaking of how things have evolved since the last time you were on the show, this year you had a birthday, turned 28, you got the keys to your dream home, you hit $100,000 in your business, and that pretty much happened like all around the same time. So let's start there, shall we? Let's, let's just unpack a little bit of like the growth and the evolution and where you're kind of at right now.

Yeah, things have changed a lot and I believe that this is what they would call quantum leaping. And sometimes quantum leaping can be really jarring. And I feel like that's a part of manifestation and quantum energetics that we don't talk about enough. And at the beginning of this year, yeah, I went full-time in my business. I got the keys to my new home. I hit $100,000 in my business. There were so many things that were happening. And this year I have grown in every single way exponentially. And I actually was just with my mom before this and she Victoria Ward was even commenting of asking me like really specific questions, just trying to keep up to speed because she feels like I've just changed so much and so much has changed this year. And I feel like this year is the year that everything that I have been working towards really and fully came into fruition. And now I've of course moved the goalposts, but everything has come into fruition this year and I feel like everything is currently where I hoped it would be when I started my journey with you. As a life coaching client. And I even remember like hearing you become like a multi-six-figure business owner and you buying your first home and you hitting your biggest milestones. And I was just like, oh my goodness, I cannot wait for that to happen to me one day. And it felt at that time like so far-fetched. And now where I'm at in my life and in my business, sometimes it really does feel surreal. And I have struggled a little bit, which, you know, with feeling like this is just a life that I'm trying on because it feels so surreal. And oftentimes it feels too good to be true, which we know is just like an upper limit trying to upper limit. But I feel like now finally I have realized that that's actually a really positive thing. Like, it is such a beautiful thing that my life feels surreal and it feels like a life that I'm trying on for size because it literally feels too good to be true. Like, that's what it's landed in. I have achieved the too good to be true energy because I'm constantly just like, there's no fucking way. Like, I'm looking at my business, when I'm looking at my life— I just got home from Greece— when I'm looking at my bank account, I'm like, there's no way. And that's actually how we know that I've reached too good to be true status. And that is pretty badass.

So badass. This is kind of, you know, you've had a lot of quantum leaps. Also, when you said that you went full-time in your business this year, I was like, wait, there's no way that was this year, girl.

Because I had to— there were ebbs and flows along the way, and there was me dropping down to part-time and switching jobs and a bunch of things that that I did. But as you know, as an entrepreneur, it is very, very challenging to get a home when you are an entrepreneur. So back when my partner and I were looking for our home, I had to make a decision of riding it out and staying in my job until this home came into fruition. So I was grinding for a lot longer than people realize. And what people don't know is that I was grinding for a lot longer than I let on because I wasn't complaining about it. I was like, hey, I have multiple dreams that I have to bring to fruition, and that just requires me to do a lot right now and just grind. And that's I did. And so I feel like that's made the reward a lot sweeter.

That's right. That's right. It was because of the house stuff. Oh my God. But yeah, like I think there's people that really don't have the patience nowadays to understand like sometimes what it takes to make your dream a reality and how long like people are working behind the scenes or juggling multiple things, multiple jobs. And you've kept up with a weekly podcast and newsletters and content and programs and releasing new things and doing all of this while holding down like a full-time job.

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Crazy. And I think a lot of people, they underestimate themselves and their capacity or their ability to do that, but also they look outward and they see these people that are full-time entrepreneurs or influencers or whatever, and like life looks so easy to them. And so it can create this like false perception of like, oh, that'll never happen for me because, you know, they have this certain situation or this setup, or it's just easier for them or whatever. And yeah, I just think in general, like, a lot of people have lost the grit when it comes to entrepreneurship of like, no, like, if you want to get really far in your life and your personal growth journey and success and wealth, whatever area you're working to grow in, you are going to have to put in the effort. And there is like grit, consistency, determination required. And so it's good to hear that and to have that like reminder from you, someone who is like so consistent in the way that they show up for their clients and programs and building your business. And, you know, you were never like, oh, like, like you said, I never heard you complain about like, oh, but like my job, or it's so hard, or like I don't have any time. Like, that's why I forget that you even had that job so long, because you like never fucking mentioned it. You just like took it on the chin and like just did what was required.

Yeah, I think right now in the digital world that we're in, it can be so easy for people to portray entrepreneurship and personal development and really any good thing that people strive to have as being really, really easy to achieve, especially when people are explaining manifestation without the action piece. But Everything that I have right now, I've worked like really, really hard for and shown up for and been really consistent with and sacrificed other things for. And I knew that by working really, really hard over the past couple years that I would eventually be in the position that I am in now where things look different, but I'm not working as hard in quotation marks as I was in the beginning. I feel like people strive to have balance in life, and I am someone who actually does not believe in balance, and I think it's really normal for in different seasons of your life, you to be prioritizing different things. And in the beginning stages of my business, I was absolutely prioritizing my business over other things in my life. And during that time, there were things that are important to me and are values to me that were taking more of a backseat. But I knew that if I put 100% into my business, I would get to a place that I am finding myself in right now, where I just went to Greece for 2 weeks and literally worked for all of like 3 hours. I'm still gonna have an absolutely excellent month. My business is not in jeopardy. And so I think if you're trying to put all of yourself into 100 different buckets, you're giving 1% into all areas. Whereas I really, over the past couple years, have put 100% into my business, whether that was the right decision or not. It was the right decision for me. And now I've found myself in this situation. So something I've always focused on is being the hardest worker in the room. That's hard to do when, you know, Or it's easy to do when I share an office with absolutely no one, but you know what I mean? Like in, um, in just like a, any sense of the word, like just trying to be the hardest person in the, in the room. And I feel like I have achieved that and it's kind of gotten me to where I am today. So I just think it's really easy for people to think like, oh, like just think about it and think positively and like it's gonna happen.

Like, no, there is like, or even just that, like, you know, posting content or whatever. Should make them like be making so much money. It's like, yeah, you're like doing it, but you're like not doing all of it. Like, people are like, what's wrong? Like, I'm, you know, I'm doing the things. And it's like, there's just a lot more, there's a lot more pieces to that puzzle. But that reminds me of what I call bucket theory, which there was an episode on the podcast once called bucket theory. And we even talked about this like way back, like in From Burnt Out to Badass, of like, you know, when you're really working towards a goal, some things in your life are going to be on the back burner. And it's like that we even— do you remember like the core values that we did in From Burnt Out to Badass? Like the hierarchy, and it was like, you're always going to have these values, but like they're going to move in hierarchy in terms of like what you're prioritizing right now based on where you want to be and like the identity they're trying to hold and things like that. And so yeah, if you have all of these buckets but you only have one like source of water, which is your energy expenditure that you have per day, and you're trying to like pour your limited amount of water, of your energy for the day, into 7 different buckets, then you're gonna get to the end of that day, that week, that year, and be like, nothing's really growing them. Much, like nothing's really moving and none of these buckets are really that filled up. Versus where if you take, you know, 5 of them and you put them off to the side and you focus on the primary 2 and you put your water, your energy into those 2, you're gonna see them fill a lot faster. You're gonna see them grow a lot faster. And I think that's exactly what you did with your business, which creates, like, as you grow over time, there's this sense of like compounded growth as well, right? Like you were working towards your first $100K in business for a good bit, and then once you hit it, you basically made another $100K in like 6 months' time. Time so quick. So I'm curious, like, what your experience has kind of been when it comes to, like, compounded growth and this sort of snowball effect, right? Where, like, it's, it's hard at the beginning to, like, make the snowball and, like, start rolling it if you're trying to build a snowman, but then it just starts, like, going and going, and it, like, gets so much bigger so much faster. What has that kind of been like for you energetically, financially, spiritually, just, like, feeling that compound?

I touched on this before, but I do want to be really honest about this because I feel like this is something that I didn't necessarily expect, and that is that for a lot of this year I felt pretty detached from all of the things that are happening in my life because they feel so truly unbelievable. Because things feel so good and because things feel so different than where I started only a few short years ago, there are definitely times where I feel like an impostor in my own life because things have changed so drastically. And so that has caused me to be almost detached from a lot a lot of the things that are happening in my life, and that's something that I've really been working on, like being present and being grounded in those things. But it's something that I wasn't necessarily expecting because I think a lot of people place their happiness and their fulfillment and their feeling good in these goals or milestones that are external to them or down the road. And that's something that thankfully I did not do, or else I would be very, very disappointed right now. So luckily, with your guidance very early on, I identified like what I felt the emotions were that are attached to the things that I wanted. And I made sure to start to incorporate some of those emotions like joy and pleasure and fulfillment and my version of success into my day-to-day. And so I wasn't waiting until I achieved those milestones to feel those things. I felt those things on the way to the milestones. And honestly, I feel like the milestones that we are waiting for, like they are a blip in time. Like I'm sure you can reflect on you realizing when you were on the plane that you hit a million dollars in your business and it's like, it's a moment and then it's over. So it's like if you are waiting for those big things to like finally bring you this like happiness or finally bring you this fulfillment, like that's a blip in time and the journey to get there is actually what's important, not the destination that lasts like all of 60 seconds. So this year I have felt felt really happy, really fulfilled, really successful, all the beautiful things. But I also felt that way when I was making $500 a month in my business. And I also felt that way when I was making $5K in my business. And I now feel this way making multi-six figures in my business because right now I'm still in the midst of this quantum leap coming into fruition. So sometimes it feels super surreal and sometimes I feel quite detached, but that doesn't mean that I'm not still feeling like all of the wonderful associations that come with this lifestyle, but I've just created those within myself. I haven't expected these milestones or financial figures to bring me things that I have been consciously and intentionally curating since the very beginning. So it's been an interesting journey. I feel so proud of myself. Like there's two ends of the spectrum, right? I feel so impressed with myself. I feel so proud of myself. And there is like that delusional queen energy where I'm like, of course, like, of course, like you were destined to do this, honey. Like, of course this is yours. And then there's the other end of the spectrum, which I really feel like is the little girl in me that's like, what? You just got home from where? And you're running a retreat where? And you went to Bali and you have this? It's like sometimes, and I'm sure that you can relate like with where you're at, it just feels so unreal sometimes. Like it's like, wait, this is what I do for work and like this is what I make and this is the life that I get to live. So I wasn't prepared for that, but I'm just so happy that I've been creating that goodness in my life and not waiting for my business to bring me things that I have always been able to bring to myself.

So good. And being able to feel that way throughout and not like chasing the dopamine or the satisfaction or the validation of a milestone, I think, is the thing that allows you to have more sustainable growth over time. I know that that's really helped me because I don't feel like I need those things in order to validate me. So I'm not like being dragged to a goal or like being pushed by like fear and doubt and like this just like desire to like feel something positive. I'm just like steadily moving towards those goals. And then when I hit them, of course I'm like, oh my gosh, this is like so cool and so exciting. But then, you know, we like come back to baseline, which is still a very great place to be. Like when I was in Denver a couple weeks ago, we were talking about like baseline emotions, and I was like, I literally think my baseline is like happy. That is like my normal. It is absolutely out of character, completely weird, maybe a little bit like jarring, just so like unexpected if I'm like having a slightly off day where like I don't feel like completely elated and satisfied and happy and content with my life. Which I guess like sometimes, because you only live in your own experience, I forget that like people don't live like that. But I didn't always live like that. I reflect about— you get used to it, right? Like it becomes normal internalized, and then you're just like, oh, life is great, like things are fine, everything's good. But I do remember a time when I was like working a job that I hated, and I was waking up every day like, literally, fuck my life, like I do not want to go to this job. Like, just you feel like the heaviness in your chest. Like, I would describe it as like waking up and feeling like you're under a gray cloud. So it's crazy to like have such a, such like a high baseline now in life. And I want to say that it's such a privilege, but also it's like we put in the work to be able to create that for ourselves, you know.

I feel like my baseline is in such a beautiful place. And in the same breath, who I am as a person is also at a certain standard. And sometimes that is so normal for me. Like you said, it's your experience, so you feel like everyone's the same. And sometimes it takes like being in the presence of other people who live different than you or having a different human experience that reminds you that that is not the standard in which a lot of other people hold themselves to. And that's also not the baseline that a lot of other people experience. And so in that, I have a similar experience to you where I'm like, I feel so grateful and so lucky to be in this position, but at the same time, luck has had very little to do with it because every single day for the past— I started my journey in 2019, like it's been years that I have been pouring into myself, pouring into my business. And so now this year I'm reaping a lot of the rewards and benefits of that, but it didn't just fall into my lap and it definitely did not just fall into yours. So it's really cool to be able to reflect on that. Yeah.

And so there's all of these like beautiful things that come with the consistency of personal growth and really valuing yourself and your evolution and becoming an entrepreneur in a lot of ways, because that's a whole other, like, spiritual experience and development in and of itself, of meeting new sides of yourself, new challenges, new edges of your comfort zone. Like, you're forced to expand even more when you become responsible for your income, when you become responsible for the results of your clients, when you start holding these decisions and all of that. And so there's a lot of beauty that comes out of that, of like, wow, like, we've grown so much, our baseline is so great, like, we feel amazing most days, we're fortunate fortunate enough to be able to do work that we love and have these experiences, travel the world, right? You just went to Greece and met up with one of your friends who you met in the online space that's like so aligned. And it's just like when you make those types of friendships, it's just like, oh my gosh, everything, like life just feels so good, you know? And so there's all of that, but then there's also the consequences of being the person that is constantly evolving and forever growing. Because the reality is that most people are not on that same trajectory, like that the average person in the world is not necessarily going to be able to keep up with the intensity or the pace at which we grow because it is our whole life, right? Especially if you work in the personal development arena, like you're faced with it, surrounded by it, consuming it all the time. So it is not only a personal value, but it's also part of like your work life and your career. And so it's everywhere. And so not everyone else is going to be able to like keep up with that and how fast you're changing. You just said like your mom was like asking you all these questions to just like almost be like, okay, so where are you at now?

What happened?

Like what have we done? Because it's like she needs to like catch up with like what would be someone else's year or 2 years or 6 years of like updates. And maybe that happens for you in like a month or a couple of months. So I'm sure you remember I did an episode once on the podcast a couple of years ago called like The Consequence of Living in Alignment. And I just kind of want to talk about the darker side of being the person that's always growing and changing and evolving and skyrocketing, because the consequences of that is that not everyone's going to keep up. Not everyone's going to be able to match your energy. Not everyone's going to be able to understand what you're doing, why you're doing it, the lifestyle that you're living, the things that care about the new values that you hold. And not everyone's going to be able to remain supportive because their own triggers and shadows and things are going to come up for them when they see you in that light of like exponentially growing and expanding so far beyond who you were when they met you. What has been your experience with that? Because I know it's something that so many people deal with, and I think for some people it's the hardest part of growth, is actually realizing, holy shit, I'm gonna have to leave some people behind.

This has easily been the most challenging part of my journey, and I feel like the brunt of it has happened this year as things have progressed at the rapid pace that they have. And I think there's multiple parts to this. There is part of me that always reminds myself that in order for me to show up the absolute best I can at my job, I need to be initiated into these things. And I am the shadow work queen. I talk a lot about being a mirror to other people, triggering people, holding projections, all the things. And so I know that right now I'm being put through the wringer in terms of this in order to better serve my community through the lens of shadow work. Something that has been really, really challenging for me, and you know this to be true about me, and a lot of my audience and my clients know this to be true about me as well. I really pride myself in being a girl's girl. Like, I really love supporting people. I genuinely want to see people do so, so well in their life, and it's not hard for me to compliment people, to lift people up, to celebrate people. And this year, having everything come into fruition for me and to just feel truly like I'm thriving in every single area, I feel like it is my turn to be celebrated by a lot of the people around me. And that's not the experience that I have had. I don't wanna discredit the amazing friends and family that I do have around me because it's not as if I am alone, but a lot of this year has been me coming up against friendships that are no longer able to support me in this season of my life. And that's been really unexpected and really, really challenging. And the The conversations that I have had of people being uncomfortable with the success that I have, with people being uncomfortable with the amount of money that I'm making and uncomfortable with the trajectory in which my life is headed, has been really challenging to hold. I'm really proud of the way that I've handled these conversations, and if they were to be like screenshotted or Zoom recorded and uploaded onto my social media, like I know that my clients would be like, yeah, that's my coach. Like I've been able to hold space for people in their communication with me in that, but it has been really, really challenging to let friendships and relationships go because they don't like this version of me, or this version of me is holding up a mirror to them and that's really activating for them. And instead of having the self-awareness to say, okay, what's this really about? They project that onto me and make me wrong for the way that I am living and for the income that I am bringing in and the, the travels that I'm experiencing. So it's been really, really challenging. To feel like people enjoyed a smaller, less successful, less happy version of me. When I was new on social media and I was in my cringe stage and my podcast was small and I wasn't traveling the world and I was still working a job that I fucking hated with that dark cloud over me, it was really easy for people to support me. And now when I'm frolicking around in Bali and then going to Greece and now Costa Rica and $30K months are the minimum, multi-six figures, and people are like, mm, I'm actually not loving supporting you now. Right? I'm actually not loving this so much and I don't know where I fit into your life. It's been an interesting, really interesting experience to have. And so what I had to come into for myself is that I know where I'm headed and I know that this is only the beginning. And so if people are uncomfortable with where I am right now, they're gonna be shitting their pants when I'm having $100K months. And so it's best for them to exit now and have their journey because this is about them, right? This is about me being a mirror to them. So it's awesome for them to exit now, have their journey. Maybe they'll come back, maybe not. But I am at peace with the fact that the people that are meant to be with me on this journey will never leave me, right? They're not going to leave me. That's just not the way that the universe works. But I can definitely see how this is something that, whether it be subconsciously or consciously, holds people back from like truly reaching the success that they're able to to, because I won't lie, this has been fucking painful. And you know this has been painful for me, Sam, obviously, because we have dove into this. If my therapist was listening to this, she'd be like, it's been very painful for her. Um, but ultimately it has not stopped me. And the option would be for me to water myself down and be smaller and less successful for me to keep people in my life, and that's actually not an option at all. So here we are.

So here we are. It reminds me of that quote that's like, people want you to do well, just not better than them. So it's like everyone will root for you when you're like the startup that's like, oh, how's it going? Yay, go! They'll post your stuff, they'll share your stuff. And then, and then as soon as, you know, it feels like you've made it or you've expanded beyond what they believe is appropriate, or you've reached a level that's triggering to them of like, oh shit, like she's doing all that now, then the judgment begins and then they're no longer able to be happy. And now it becomes about why do you need all that, right? Why are you so loud? Why do you show up like that? Why are you dancing on your Instagram? Why are you— do you really need all that money? Why do you work so hard? Why do you like— and all of that is just like them trying to answer their own questions about why is this trigger me, why does this feel edgy for me. But I'm glad we had this conversation because I know so many people listening are going to be able to resonate, and it is a really hard part of the journey and the path of realizing that. Didn't I send you a video? There was a really good reel about this. I think I sent it to you. Who was it? Maybe it was Will Smith. It was some like celebrity. Yeah, or maybe it was Snoop Dogg, and he was talking about this exact thing of like, you know, when you get up here and people are down here, that gap has closed somehow, and they're going to want you to come back down so you can close that gap. You have to like keep going and let those people go so that you can continue flying. So speaking of all of this, like as we navigate these quantum leaps, changes in, in income, growth in business and in your personal life, in your ability to kind of like live your freedom lifestyle, right? Travel, do all these fun, crazy things. There's an element of like regulate, keeping our nervous system regulated, which is something that I know you're super passionate about and have, you know, woven into your business a lot. So as you know, your journey with growth continued and you're, you know, holding more responsibility, more money, more power, more freedom, all these things. What has been helpful for you or what would you recommend to other people when it comes to like keeping your nervous system regulated? Because I know a lot of entrepreneurs that are like, because of the uncertainty or the fluctuations in money, you know, some months you're making a ton and then the next month it goes down a lot. Like how can we stay regulated through that process?

Yeah. So obviously this is a newer part of my business and I'm really, really excited excited about. So in December of 2023, I was like, something's missing. And when I found nervous system work and somatic therapy, it just felt like the missing piece of the puzzle. And it just feels like my business is complete, which has been so, so beautiful. So I definitely believe that nervous system regulation and prioritizing nervous system regulation has really, really helped catapult, like, a lot of the manifestations and a lot of the growth that has happened this year. And what I think is really interesting about being dysregulated regulated, specifically being in a fight or flight state, is that it very much lines up with the masculine hustle culture that we live in and entrepreneurship. When you're in fight or flight, it's like you can never stop. There's this resistance to slowing down and resting, and your mind's just going a million miles a minute, and you have 100 tabs open, and you're sitting at your desk and you're not allowing yourself to go to the washroom or take a drink of water until you complete your task because you have like tunnel vision. And these are all things that are also hashtag entrepreneurship, right? Like, it's like, oh, I'm so busy. There's just so much to do. And so our dysregulation is very much masked by the, like, how noble it is to be like a very busy entrepreneur. And I'm like, no, you're actually like really dysregulated, but like pop off, queen. So this year I identified that I was dysregulated. Like when I started my somatic practitioner certification in 2023, I was like, oh damn, it's me. That's— this is me. And I didn't realize that I was dysregulated because I just thought I was super hardworking and super productive. And so what's really interesting about the healing world, and you and I talked about this especially when I went to Bali, is like, people will do fucking anything but the work that actually needs to be done. They will go and do the most life-altering, cathartic, dangerous thing, take the poisonous venom from a frog and shoot it up their nose, or whatever, they will do everything than what actually needs to be done in order to bring regulation into their nervous system. So I know that it's so sexy to go on Instagram and like see like, oh, like you can buy my $11 like hypnotic, like sensual heart opening activation that's going to clear you from all your family trauma and rewire your blah blah blah blah blah. Like it's so much easier to buy into those like either really sexy things or really cathartic Instagrammable things, but what your body actually needs is to feel safe, right? So if we're talking about this as an example, like if you have a child that's in front of you that feels like really unsafe about a situation that just went down, are you going to suggest to them that they go to like go into an ice bath or that they go take drugs or that they go, you know, have intimate moments with strangers somewhere in Bali? Like probably not. Like what are you going to do with a child if they're feeling unsafe? You're going to like bring that calm calmness, that stillness, that safety, that reassurance back into their system. And so the nervous system regulation that I have been doing over the past couple of months— well, actually it's been a long fucking time now because it's September and I started in November of last year— like, it's not sexy. I'm not doing anything crazy. It really is like, in the beginning it was once an hour, and now it just kind of ingrained into the way that I live, taking a body scan and like, how am I feeling right now, right? Am I feeling anxious? Is my mind super chattery? How is my stomach feeling? Do I feel really disconnected from my body, like, what is going on? And in those moments, bringing regulation back into my system. So in the beginning, this really looked like setting an alarm, a silent alarm on my phone every single hour. And at that hour mark, I would take inventory, do a body scan, and from there I would choose something, whether it was going for a walk or doing some VooBreathing or doing some EFT tapping or putting my face in the sun or being present with my dog Ruby, like things that brought pleasure, joy, regulation, comfort into my life. Because the more that we redirect our nervous system from a state of dysregulation into a state of regulation, the more that we will find that regulation is our norm. And so in a different way, but in the same way as you, like, I have also like entered my soft girl era this year. And of course that's going to look different for the both of us, but my life, as you know, used to be a lot of cathartic things. It was so intense. I worked for the police. I was doing F45 and HIIT training all the time. I was ice plunging every single day. I was going so hard every day and I was just reaffirming the fight or flight, the dysregulation. And now like my life is very much centered around like peace and comfort and safety and like fulfillment. And that's not always sexy, right? Like people don't always want to just see me like taking a deep breath or being present without my phone with my dog or like putting my face in the sun or going for stimulation-free walks. Like those aren't like the sexy things, but those are the things that bring regulation into my nervous system. And as a result of being like a peaceful, grounded, solid person, I am a match for all of these wonderful and massive things that have dropped into my life because when they do, I'm not like— well, like haha! Like I'm just solid in it. And so that makes me like a safe steward for all of those things to land. So if I was giving someone advice of how to maintain regulation, I would invite them into prioritizing things that bring them safety peace, comfort, slowness, because you're probably dysregulated. Because I honestly feel like it's a, like, a global crisis how many people are dysregulated. And if you're just continuing to fill your life with things that are keeping you in that dysregulated state, like, nothing's going to change if nothing changes. So it hasn't necessarily been the sexiest or most Instagrammable work, but it's worked. And if you need a little bit more umph and motivation, like, my income has like 10x this year.

So hey, don't forget that every month we are picking a Listener of the Month to win $50 in cash just for showing love to the show. All you have to do is leave an epic review of the podcast on Apple Podcasts, screenshot the review before you hit submit, and DM that screenshot to us on Instagram @makeshifthappenpodcast. And that's it. I want to thank you for being such a loyal loyal listener and show my appreciation by putting a little extra cash in your pocket. I know it's super easy not to do it, but every single rating and review seriously helps the show rank higher and reach new people, so we appreciate them more than you know. We'll announce the next winner at the end of the month and slide into your DMs if it's you, so keep an eye out and good luck. Love you guys, and thanks for supporting Makeshift Happen.

So we'll take that, we'll take that as a win for the nervous system regulation. I never really thought about it this way, but I guess I sort of like do this just like naturally because I work from home, right? And so I have my dog who, he's a husky and he's super just like fluffy and cuddly. So every time I walk by him, if I like get up to go get water or like take a pee break or whatever, I see him and I can't not like lay on the floor with him and just like wrap my like arms and legs around him and put my head on his like fluffy fur and just like have a little like a moment with him. And I'm realizing like those breaks in my work day of just like cuddling him and like hugging him and like taking a deep breath with him, I'm like co-regulating with my dog.

We can co-regulate with animals and with other people as long as one person is regulated. So yeah, there are already things that you probably do in your day that regulate you and ground you. You can also probably reflect back on like when you were really in your grind and like in your fuck my life but I'm going to bring all this to life stage where you're not doing anything to ground around yourself. You're just grinding. And those are the times where we're typically, yeah, dysregulated.

Oh yeah, my gut was so fucked up.

And it's really interesting when we get into nervous system dysregulation talk because symptoms of a dysregulated nervous system get treated as their own illness. So this isn't to invalidate people's true struggles with mental health or to say that some people don't honestly deal with anxiety, depression, ADHD, OCD, all those things. But all All of those illnesses are symptoms of a dysregulated nervous system. And so we don't aim to regulate, we claim that this symptom is an illness and medicate it or mask it with something. And then at the end of the day, you still have a dysregulated nervous system. You're just now on medication or some sort of plan to treat one of the symptoms. And so for many people, like, their bodies are screaming at them and mentally, emotionally, physically, they're experiencing experiencing so many symptoms where they're like, what the fuck is going on with me? I'm talking to a therapist, I'm doing the work, I'm seeing a naturopath, I'm in the gym, and like nothing is working. And it's because of the lack of education that we have on our nervous systems. And almost everything comes back to our nervous system because it is responsible for every thought you've ever had, every emotion you've ever experienced, any sensation you ever experienced, any behavior you've ever experienced. It's responsible for your attachment style. So that's going to be like your friendships, your relationships, your relationship with money. Like everything comes back to our nervous system. But our beautiful education system, along with not teaching us anything about taxes, mortgages, our cycle, teaches us nothing about the nervous system. And so everyone— it's not their fault, like it's not to shame anyone, it's just nobody knows anything about the nervous system. And so everyone's just like blindly trying to find solutions to what they believe the problem is, but the problem is actually that your nervous system is dysregulated. So my life has changed so much since prioritizing my nervous system health, and that's been— I mean, beyond like watching your clients thrive in all areas is life's greatest gift to me, truly. But getting to see people experience life the way that they are supposed to in a regulated state has been like the most fulfilling work that I've ever done. Because they're like, first of all, I'm so jealous that some people have been experiencing this way since the beginning, but it really just brings a whole new experience to them because of course something that controls all your thoughts, feelings, behaviors, relationships, like of course bringing that thing to an excellent state is going to have a ripple effect. So I'm just so happy. Yeah, I'm so happy that I got certified as a somatic practitioner. I'm so happy that I found this work because it's been so fulfilling and just so impactful.

You mentioned this idea of being a solid human, and that's been a huge thing for you and in your business. You built a program around it. So I kind of want to expand on that because that really builds off of exactly what we're talking about here with like the nervous system and being regulated, but also other things like, you know, confidence and self-trust and knowing your worth. And can you kind of just describe like what it means when you say like be a really solid human? Like, what does that mean?

Nervous system regulation is a big part of it, and being a stable individual, being a self-aware individual, being an emotionally intelligent individual It's really interesting. I think for me, because I've had really wonderful examples around me, like growing up in this industry, if you will, you included, I have certain aspects of my personality that I've just been like, well, yeah, like, of course I am this way because I'm a coach and I'm holding space for other people and I'm guiding other people. So of course I am this way. And I just assumed that everyone else is this way as as well, because I truly believe that when you are helping other people grow and heal, first of all, you would hope that you've gone through that process yourself first. And so being someone that holds space for other people and other people's trauma and nervous system and businesses and things that are very, very important to them, I hold myself to, some would say, impossibly high standards for myself first, but also absolutely for my clients. And so I think for me, I've just assumed— and this has been a pattern for me like my entire life that I've really had to work on— I like assume that other people are going to operate in the same way as me. And then I'm very disappointed when I'm like, oh, that's actually— could not be farther from the truth.

So within some recent experiences, my personal biggest ick is someone who has really low effort and is not perfectionist. Like, if you're not a perfectionist, you're giving me the ick. I'm sorry. Like, I can't, can't deal with this quality of work.

I don't know who trained you, but it wasn't me.

I don't know how you got this way, but the fact that you think that this half-assed shit is okay and you're happy with that standard— can't relate.

Yeah, so can't relate.

This year, what, there's a typo on the sales page? Can't relate. These colors don't match? What the fuck?

Could never be me.

Couldn't be me. Your hair is not brushed? What?

Be me. So yeah, this year I was really initiated into seeing a lot of things that I am not, similar to what you're saying right now, so that I can actually start to own and acknowledge and leverage all that I am, which is being a solid individual. Because I kind of was like, oh, this isn't really a flex because every coach is like this, because every coach holds themselves to this like really high standard, because we all understand that we're helping other people grow and That could not be fucking farther from the truth. And there are a lot of people that are dysregulated, that are very unstable, that are very lost and confused. And honestly, sorry, and they're trying to lead, to lead, and they're not suitable to lead. And then they're wondering why things aren't working out for them. And I just genuinely believe that the universe is always watching us. God, Source, whatever you believe, is always watching us. And if you do not have your shit together, of course you are not going to be put into a position to lead other people or have this massive empire because— and here's the part where you're not going to like me very much— you don't deserve it right now, period. And there was a version of me a couple years ago that she also did not deserve it, and she did not have the capacity for it because she was a hot fucking mess. I'm not saying that I've never been a hot mess before in my life. No, absolutely I have been. I was the Hot Mess Express. But I worked to become this solid version of myself. And so it's no surprise that now I'm gaining all the things that I have in my life because not only do I deserve it, and I'm— I've like worked to become worthy of it, but I'm also solid enough to be able to hold all of it. So to me, self-awareness is absolutely key in this. Regulation and emotional health is key in this. Integrity— like, integrity is like one of the biggest things that comes up for me when I think about being a solid human being. And one of my biggest flexes— if you know, you know, and if you don't, you don't— if my clients followed me around all day, every day, they'd be like, that's my coach, right? Like, they'd be so proud of me and everything would check out. Versus I think some people get online and they preach these things, and then like behind the scenes, you would just be like, what is going on? So I feel so clear on my why and like what I am here to do, and it really is helping women become like solid fucking women. And under that is the self-awareness, is the nervous system regulation, is the emotional regularity, is the self-awareness. Self-awareness is so, so big, and the emotional intelligence. And so all the things that I do, the shadow work, the somatic therapy, the discipline and integrity work, the nervous system regulation, it all funnels down to like being a solid human. And I think when you master becoming a solid human, things naturally are going to come into fruition for you because you will finally be like a safe place for all of those things to land.

So true, so good. We need more of this for sure in the world in general and in our industry. It's always crazy to me too when I like meet someone who I'm like, whoa, that's like not— whatever's happening online for you is like not what's happening in your real life. And that is scary. And I think it's really easy when you start out to like, just like you said, assume that everyone is in integrity, everyone who is who they say that they are. And then you have some experiences where either that, you know, facade is kind of like crumbles, or you meet someone in person and they're very different in person than they are online. What was your experience meeting me in person? Because I felt like when I met you in person that I already knew you. Like, I didn't really— you know how some people you like meet them in person for the first time and you're like, oh my God, it is kind of like you're like a real person, but like then And then other people, like I think about my friend Sam Altieri, like when I met her in person, we weren't even like, oh my God, like you're a real person. It was just like, we just started hanging out. Like it just felt like we had already been doing life together as like in-person friends. What was that experience like?

I think it's so interesting having a mentor that you've worked with for years and years. Like I don't know that you would ever fully be able to describe like the intricacies that are a relationship like you and I. None of this could I have done it on my own. Honestly, fuck, it's up for debate. Like seriously. But back in the day, you were the one that said to me like, I really think that you could be a coach. Like, I feel like you have the spice for it. It's not normal that you're this passionate about personal development, by the way. Like, you were the one that called me forward in that. And so it's interesting, the experience of having such a connection with someone and such love with someone that you've never met before in person. So that was my experience, similar to you and Sam. Like, when I met you, it just feel like felt so normal because Although it was the quote unquote first time we were meeting, it was also like, this is someone that knows me so, so well and has been like a vital part of my journey. And so it just felt very, very normal. You are better in person, obviously, because I feel like when you are online with someone or on the podcast, like you're not having a direct conversation with someone and you're not like witnessing them in real time. So obviously being in your presence in person was a lot more like potent and we were able to like spin off of each other even more so because we were actually in person. But I think for me with you, and I also have two other mentors that I've worked with along the years, like in and out of their worlds, I've now had the opportunity, fortunately for me, to meet all of the people that I've invested in over this past year. And it just makes a lot of sense. Like when I met you and when I meet people, it's like I get in person with them and they are just so solid and they are who they say they are and they're grounded and they're, they're just all the things. And so it's like you look at them and you get to feel their presence and their energy, and it's like, of course you're a millionaire, right? Like, of course you have a thriving business. Of course you have a top podcast. Of course, of course, of course. And then on the other end of the spectrum, sometimes you meet people in person and it's a very different experience than it is online. And they have some pretty surprising qualities and they're like, oh my gosh, like, I have no idea why my business hasn't taken off. And I'm like, you don't? I do. And I'd love to invite you into my shadow work program so that you can gain some self-awareness, right? So with you, I just feel, yeah, I just feel so lucky. I know that we were just like destined to meet each other in this lifetime. And so I hope that everyone gets to experience like what we have together. And that's, that's one of the reasons why my sales calls— sales calls— aren't like your typical sales call. Like when I'm getting on a call with someone, even if it's like a one-on-one potential client, I like invite them to go get on calls with other coaches because I genuinely want for everyone to find like their Sam, you know what I mean? I want everyone to be able to find like their soulmate coach, and that's not always going to be me for other people. So I don't want to ever like force someone to sign or be with me and potentially hold them back from like finding— you know what I mean? If I would have like signed with like the first coach that I ever, ever even saw and like not signed with you, then I wouldn't be with my soulmate coach. And so everyone deserves to have like that opportunity. So yeah, if it's any— I feel like you never know online in this day and age like what people are truly about. So from me, and I'm also like very blunt and direct if you cannot tell, like just know that when you're following I'm online and like you're listening to the podcast, like that's exactly who you are getting on the other side, except for obviously better. I feel like everyone's better in person, but it was very reaffirming to me of like the love that I have for you and also very affirming to me the reason why you are so successful because of the person that you are. So that's my answer. Mwah! Big kiss to you.

I love you so much. It's so much fun.

Yeah.

Having like long-term mentors, like I find that relationship to be really enriching and special and obviously Obviously, you know, there's value in, of course, like getting other opinions and working with other people to see like different styles and things that people that have different energies or certain different expertises and things to offer. But like having a really solid long-term mentor has also been a really valuable thing for me in my life. And like building that relationship of someone that just like knows you to your core as a human and also knows everything and every evolution of your business. They know every launch you've ever done, every challenge you've had, every product you've ever created. Like they know the vision, like they understand. It's just so nice to not have to keep starting over all the time. I mean, I feel like it would be like changing a therapist every 6 months. Like, that, that seems crazy, you know, to like change your therapist every 3 to 6 months. That would be exhausting to have to start over with your whole life story and your childhood and all the things that have happened to you and why you are who you are and why you are where you are and where you want to go and what challenges you're facing. Like, it's honestly the same with coaching and especially with business. And so it is nice to have those long-term people. But I agree with you, I think most people are better in person. We were talking about that at the event in Denver.

Like, we were all like, wouldn't it be worse though, if you were better online.

I'm happy that I'm better in person. Like, it's kind of a bummer because you feel like there's so many, like, facets of your personality that, like, social media doesn't fully, like, capture because you're not, like, bouncing off of other people's energies or, like, in-group conversations, or, like, the humor isn't always there because most of the time in your content you're by your fucking self. So it's kind of a bummer that, like, the fullest expression of you isn't captured on social media and that it's not better online. But I was like, I think it would be worse to be cooler online than you are in person, so I'll take it.

Whatever. I guess you just have to meet me. Yeah. You, you provide for sure opportunities to see you in person. Like, you've had your retreats and you have the top-tier immersions, and there are lots of opportunities to see you in person. So, but yeah, I think you're right, it would be worse if you were better online than you are in person.

That is not a slay, not a slay at all. Okay, so the last thing that I want to ask you just really quickly, because Abundant and Ambitious is open for enrollment, and that was a really big starting point for you in your journey, just knowing like how you felt when you were about to make the investment in A&A and this conversation we've been having about like knowing what it was like to be dysregulated, to be, you know, grinding in a job that you hated, to be in that experience, to maybe not trust yourself as much. And then knowing what your life has turned into now, like, you know, you're just in a 2-week holiday in Greece after, you know, you went to Bali a couple months ago, and you're just, you know, international travel, multi-six figures, living your life, dream home, like all these things. Knowing the contrast of those two scenarios, if someone is listening to this and they are where you were back then and they're thinking about joining ANA, what would you tell them?

Short, simple, to the point, like what would the cost of Abundant and Ambitious, I would pay 10 times over if I knew that the life that I'm living right now is going to be on the other side of that investment. Like that investment was the first time that I was really claiming that I had a business, you know, like when I did From Burnt Out to Badass, it was like I was investing in myself and the human that I am. But that was the first time that I actually invested in my business and I didn't have a business yet. And so that was really me believing in myself and the business that I knew I was going to create. And that's one of the most difficult parts of life and business is holding the vision and believing in something that has not yet manifested in the real world. And so that can be really, really challenging. But I would ask yourself, like, if you're listening to my life right now, which again, that like didn't really sound like my life just there when you said like international travel, multi-six figures, dream house, like all the things I'm like, oh my God, bitch, like who is that? That's me. Like, what is that worth to you? Because whatever abundant ambitious is worth. It's like, would you pay that to have all of this? And then one little thing too that I do like to just throw in there, just some realism, that's entrepreneurship, right? Like I think when we're talking about like a brick and mortar company, those companies, they're, they're buying their lot or they're buying their building or they're paying their rent or they're paying their lease. They're hiring their employees, they're paying their employees, they're ordering their inventory, they're training people, they're doing the marketing. Like they're spending tens of hundreds of thousands of dollars before their doors are are even open for them to get customers, for them to make a sale. That's entrepreneurship. So for us in the online space, we're like, oh, like I, I wanna wait until I start making money into my business to invest in my business. That's actually not how entrepreneurship works. Of course you have to hire someone and have them like show you the ropes in order to start making money in your business. Like that's actually entrepreneurship. So if you wanna be an entrepreneur and you want to start a business, like this is a rite of passage, like investing in your business and like hiring a mentor and having them walk you through step by step how you're gonna do that is a rite of passage. And it's the smartest thing that you could do if you do wanna have a business. So like, I don't know, I'm just saying that I think you would be stupid not to join. I saw something the other day.

It's so true. That was like the average cost to start a business is like $50,000 or something. And it's like, oh, we need to really metabolize that and, and evaluate how much we're like crying over, oh my gosh, like $5K.

What?

I mean, the fact that you can like join Abundant and Ambitious, a program that could potentially, you know, change your entire life and future in business for $3,000 to $4,000. The fact that that is still the price point is wild, wild. Anyways, if you guys are interested, if you're starting your business, even if you're like, it's not even a business yet, but I want to make it into a business, like how Becca was, we'll leave all the links in the show notes for you guys to check out A&A. And then Becca, let everyone know where they can find you, because if they weren't obsessed with you before, they are now and they want to come hang.

So you can find me on Instagram, it's @becknicole, so Becca without the A. And then my podcast is There She Glows. I'm over there every every single week, and those are the best places to find me because that's where I'm the most active and that's where I am hanging out. So thank you for having me on, Miss Man.

You're so welcome. We'll link everything in the show notes for you guys. Make sure you go give Becca a follow. If you enjoyed this episode, if you loved anything that she talked about, make sure that you send her a message. Let her know you heard this episode and that you loved what she shared. If you would like to, please take a screenshot and share this episode to your Instagram stories, or copy the link and send it to a friend. Let them know you were thinking of them. We love spreading the love, the vibes, the growth to the people in our life that we care about. So we love you guys, and we'll talk to you next week.

Bye!