Success Series: 5 Step Formula for Becoming Wildly Successful (part 1)

You guys might remember that back in 2017, I invested in myself for the very first time. It was a 30-day challenge with Danette May with delicious healthy recipes, workouts, meditations, and mindfulness practices. I thought about making that $50 investment for days, but I'm so glad that I ultimately did because that challenge was one of the major catalysts in guiding me back to a loving relationship with my body forever. So of course, when Danette launched her podcast, I was super excited to get on board and share it with you. It's called Manifestival, and it's hosted by Danette May, one one of the world's leading transformational coaches. The show is dedicated to helping you expand your mind, harness your energy, and unlock the infinite possibilities within your own life. Danette literally teaches you how to live out your purpose and create your dream life, all through manifestation and wellness practices. Immerse yourself in extraordinary interviews with accomplished individuals who have mastered their mental strength to achieve extraordinary things. People like Darren Olien, Anita Moorjani, Mike Dooley, Krista Williams, Danielle Canty, and so many more. You are learning from the best. So if you're ready to realize your purpose and the infinite possibilities surrounding you, search Manifestival, like manifest and festival, Manifestival, anywhere you listen to podcasts and press play. Your dream life is calling. What's up, you guys? Welcome back to the podcast. We are kicking off another 3-part series. So I know you guys loved the Top Tier series, all about how to build a top-tier life and mindset and business., and I really enjoyed the process of building out a series on the podcast. So we're back for round 2. We're back for another one. So this series, as I'm recording it in full transparency, I haven't totally decided on what I'm gonna call it yet. Uh, the vibes are like success, abundance, money, wealth, but I haven't fully decided on the name. So anyway, it's gonna be a 3-part series. Welcome to the first part. Today we're gonna be talking about The 5-step formula for becoming wildly successful. And these are literally the exact steps and tools that I used in my life, and so many of my clients have used to radically change their lives, careers, bank accounts, realities. This is like the foundational work that has to happen if you want to become successful. Now, in this episode, I'm not going to tell you how to make money or what kinds of businesses to start or how to invest or any of those things. We're literally covering the basics of what you have to shift in your internal world in order for you to start to be an energetic match for good things to flow towards you and for you to be magnetic to things like money, wealth, and success. But if you do these 5 things that we're going to talk about today, your life will change. There's just literally no way around it. And many of you have probably already begun to experience some of these shifts if you've been deep in personal development work for some time now. And it's just my belief that if you do these 5 things, if you actually really do them, not listen to a podcast about them or hear someone talk about them or read a book about them, but you actually do them, your life has to change. There's no other way. So let's dig into this 5-step formula for becoming wildly successful. Welcome to the Makeshift Happen Podcast. I'm your host, Samantha Daly, entrepreneur, life coach, and your no BS bestie here to bring you all things mindset, manifestation, and personal development. This podcast is designed to help you expand your mind and uplevel your life. So turn the volume up and roll the windows down if you're coming along for the ride. Let's go make shift happen. Kicking it off with number 1. The first step of this formula is to get in alignment. And we're going to dig a little bit deeper into this because you might be rolling your eyes already, like, oh, for fuck's sake. Like, we've all heard about alignment. Get into alignment. Very original. I know. But here's the thing. The secret to you getting everything that you want is simply in becoming aligned with it. Like, that's literally it. The secret to getting everything that you want out of life is you becoming aligned with it. So it actually is a really important foundational step to get into alignment. And so what does alignment actually mean, right? Alignment means knowing how you want to feel, because the only reason that we want any of the things that we want in life is because we expect that it's going to make us feel a certain way. That's the reason why we want luxury items or nice cars or bougie travel or more time off of work or vacations or a piece of pizza or a certain piece of clothing. Like, the only reason that you want anything ever is because you're trying to access a feeling. And so getting in alignment has a lot to do with knowing how you want to feel first and foremost, instead of just looking at these material things that you want to attract into your life, really having an understanding of how am I expecting that this thing is going to make me feel, and can I access that feeling more often and start to actually practice it as my vibrational frequency. Alignment also means integrating this feeling into your present life, right? So exactly what I said about practicing it, we have to understand the feeling that we're looking for and then not just stop there, but actually find ways to access that feeling from our present reality. Right. And so you can imagine the way that you're going to feel driving a Lamborghini. You might be like, okay, well, how do I feel that now? But if you think about it, there are certain emotions, probably like freedom, confidence, pride, whatever it is that you think that you're going to be feeling when you're driving the Lamborghini, that you have a way to access in your life right now, maybe in smaller ways. Maybe that feeling would be bigger in the Lamborghini, but still there's ways for you to access that feeling of freedom, confidence, or pride right now in your current reality. And so it's about integrating the practices or the rituals or the things that allow you to feel that way now, and also getting clear on your desire and fearlessly rejecting anything that is not it. Right, that is foundational to alignment is not only what do I want, but also what are all of the things that actually aren't even a match for what I want and how can I get rid of those? So trimming the fat, clearing space, fearlessly rejecting anything in your life that is not an energetic match for who you're becoming, where you're going, or what you are trying to create. So here are some things that can throw us out of alignment. Okay. The fear of rejection, or the fear of losing a connection with someone, like they're not going to like me anymore, or maybe this relationship will change if I share how I actually feel. The fear of judgment, people pleasing, any energy like scarcity, fear of missing out, thinking that there's not going to be any better options for you and that what you have is the best that it's going to get, and self-abandonment, right? So hands up if you've ever encountered any of these emotions, feelings, experiences before. All of us, right? Fear of rejection, fear of judgment, people-pleasing, scarcity, FOMO, self-abandonment, all of the things. It doesn't mean that you can't encounter these things. Like, it doesn't mean that in order to be aligned, you need to be free of any of these fears or not experience these things. It just means that you have to become more well-equipped in how you move through them and being able to recognize them when they're happening and then changing your pattern of how you react to those things. Right. And so instead of letting the trigger or the fear or the doubt or the judgment stop you or change your behavior or encourage you to, like, retreat or retract or go back, that instead you're able to stand firm in what you want and continue to move forward. And so I want to kind of dig a little bit deeper into this piece about self-abandonment because I think it's huge. And also, maybe you've heard this term before, but you might not be completely clear on how it could be potentially showing up for you in your life. And so what is self-abandonment, right? Self-abandonment is essentially pretending that something is good enough for you or hoping that something will evolve into a version of what you truly want eventually. Like, it might not be good enough right now, but you hold out that hope that it's eventually going to evolve into that thing when it simply isn't the case, right? Pretending that something is good enough for you or hoping it will evolve into a version of what you truly want when it simply just isn't. And so what does this actually look like? What are some tangible ways that we can see self-abandonment in people's realities? It's things like dating someone's potential, right? Like, oh, but they have so much potential. Like, it, he could be such a good guy, or she could be such a good person for me. It's like, well, you know, you're kind of— you're doing that thing where you're not actually owning what you want. And so you're accepting a lesser version of it because you're hoping that it will eventually turn into that thing. But in the process, you're abandoning the true core desire that you have, which is to date someone who treats you exactly the way that you want to be treated. Some other things are like working at a job that you hate, which I know a lot of people that listen to this podcast can, can probably relate to. And it doesn't mean that you have to quit your job tomorrow, right? There's a time and a place and a strategy and a plan for a lot of these things. But if we're talking about self-abandonment, it's like, you know what you want, you know what's— or you know what you don't want clearly, and you haven't cut this part out yet. Or you know what you want, you know what is fulfilling and what's not fulfilling to you. And even though this job sucks or it's draining the life out of you or it's it's totally not aligned, you're still there, right? And so it's a version of self-abandonment. Other things are like having flimsy or nonexistent boundaries, right? Continuously falling into those people-pleasing patterns or attempting to set a boundary with someone and then not knowing how to uphold it. I think that's the most challenging part of boundaries is actually enforcing them and upholding them. Anyone can say, hey, it would be really great for me if we did this, or if you didn't do that, or if you could support me in this way. But then what happens when that thing isn't really occurring or when they're not really respecting it, right? So if you have these flimsy or nonexistent boundaries, it's a version of self-abandonment because you know what you want, you know what you desire, you know what your needs are, but you're not actually being strong enough to have them be met. Another thing is like ignoring red flags. So things are happening where you're like, oh, like, it's kind of giving me a bad vibe, giving me a bad energy. But you abandon yourself and instead of trusting your intuition and instead of honoring the fact that there's been 1, 2, 3, 5, or 10 red flags, you just keep going and blindly trusting that, oh, this will probably at some point hopefully evolve into a version of what I need, want, or desire when actually it just isn't that right. Disregarding your intuition is another one which we kind of talked about in terms of red flags, but same deal in any way, shape, or form, case or scenario. When you're disregarding your intuition, you are effectively abandoning yourself because you have access to this divine knowing. You have this innate power that lies within you to know what is right for you, to know what is wrong with the wrong for you, to know what you want, to know what is required, to know where you should go or when you should push and when you should pull back. Your intuition can give you all of those answers. But if you're never listening to it and acting accordingly and you're just hearing it going, oh, you know, I kind of feel like I should slow down, or I kind of feel like I should go all in on this thing, but you're never actually responding to it and you just keep— you just keep going in the same way that you've been going the whole time, then you're abandoning yourself because you have this beautiful piece of inner wisdom from your higher self or God, Source, however you want to look at it. And you're hearing it, but you're going, eh, maybe later. Or, you know, maybe this will just change. Maybe things will evolve into a version that I'm hoping that they will and I won't have to do anything, or I won't have to have that hard conversation, or I won't have to do that challenging thing. And I can just keep going, roboting my way through life, autopiloting, one foot in front of the other, doing all the same things that I've always done. And hopefully this will evolve into a dream life. That I want for myself. We know that that's not gonna happen, right? Another form of self-abandonment is hoping that someone will be the exception. Like, if you know something to be true, like, this doesn't work for me, or I don't vibe with people who act this way or think this way or speak this way about others, or whatever it is, but— and then you come across that, but then you're like, oh, but maybe this person's just the exception because otherwise they're really cool. And otherwise, like, I really like them. It's just another version of, like, ignoring the red flags or disregarding your intuition, right? It's all one in the same, essentially. Another one is not being 100% honest about what you want. And this one goes across so many arenas, but it's especially applicable to anyone who's out there and dating. If you are not being 100% honest about what you want, you are going to end up in situationships and in— Okay, so I have something I think you're really going to love and your business is going to love it even more. Do you want to steal the strategy I've been using to seduce premium buyers and sell out my offers on Instagram stories? Chances are you're already posting, you're already making sales, but if your Instagram stories aren't working as hard as you are, you're leaving money on the table. Sold Out Stories is going to teach you exactly how to change that so that you can sell out any offer at any price point. And even high-caliber coaches miss this because selling on stories isn't about how much you post or how frequently you show up face to camera. It's about psychological sequencing. And the way you're posting right now might be giving the premium buyers in your audience the ick. 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Another sold out her event in under 6 hours with just 8 strategic story slides. No sales calls, no paid ads, just the right frameworks. You'll walk away knowing how to sequence for desire, transition into your offer seamlessly, and sell daily without ever feeling salesy. You already know your offer is incredible, so now it's just time for your stories to sell it like it is. Grab Sold Out Stories today and turn 10 slides or less into your highest converting content. Let's make your next story your most profitable one yet. Click the link in the show notes below and I'll see you inside. Experiences on dates and whatever where you're like, oh my God, how did I get here? This is so not what I signed up for. You could be like 3 months deep with someone and finally realize like, oh my God, I don't know why I wasted all of my time with this person. This, this isn't actually what I want out of a relationship. Or, you know, they're not ticking the right boxes for me. And it's probably because either you ignored the red flags or you disregarded your intuition, or you hoped that that person was the exception, or you were not being 100% honest about what you want. And so you were denying or suppressing or hiding in a way, saving for later, shall we? Saving for later those deeper desires that feel like they might scare the other person away, like marriage or kids or whatever it is, right? And so you weren't honest about those things. And so if you're not honest about them, then you end up becoming a match for someone who Maybe they don't share the same values with you. And then you wake up and you realize, oh shit, I got to find my way out of this because this is not what I signed up for. Another version of self-abandonment is putting yourself last, right? The classic over-giver, people-pleaser archetype where there's a lack of self-care and everyone comes in line before you, your family, your friends, your work. Everyone comes before you and you keep putting yourself last. This is like classic definition definition of self-abandonment, because you're literally abandoning your needs. You're literally abandoning the time that you need to pour into yourself just so that you can please others first, because you think that's going to make them like you. You feel like that's going to give you more connection, it's going to give you more love, it will fulfill you. But we all know that that's only temporary, and then those things run out, and then you have to do more people pleasing in order to get some of that love and connection, or at least the sense of it, back. And then you just repeat this cycle until you're totally depleted, and you're like, what the fuck? And then you go to therapy and then you're like, wow, I didn't realize that that was my pattern, but here we are. Okay, another one, last one, is, is sacrificing authenticity in order to be liked. So I think this is another version of like not being 100% honest about what you want, but it's like not being 100% honest about who you actually are. And so when you sacrifice your authenticity in exchange for someone's approval or at least someone's neutrality on you in terms of like, well, they don't hate me or they don't dislike me quite yet because I'm super vanilla. You're abandoning yourself because you're not allowing your soul's fullest expression to shine through. And so, you know, I think because of all of the political correctness and things like that that we've become so used to in the world nowadays, we're all sort of like walking through life on eggshells, like, ooh, can't say that, can't share my true opinion, can't talk about that. I just got to be super PC and share everything in the right way and be all-encompassing for everybody's experience and be totally honoring of how everyone is going to receive this and think about how everyone is going to feel here. And it's not that, you know, being empathetic or being politically correct is inherently wrong, but I just think that we've painted a really broad brush and we've applied it to literally every fucking area of our life to the point where we've become so boring. And maybe you notice this for people here who are content creators or you use social media for your business. It's like, why has a lot of social media become super watered down and boring? It's because no one can actually say anything anymore without being canceled. So we're all literally operating from this wounded pattern of I can't be my full authentic self because if I am, then people won't like it and I won't get follows and I won't get likes and I won't get engagement. Therefore, I won't make sales or I won't earn money and my career will die and whatever else, or I'll be canceled and I'll be, you know, hung out in the town square for everyone to throw rocks at. Like, that's what it feels like with cancel culture. And so this piece here is rampant. And I think all of us have some level of work to do on uncovering for ourselves even the ways that we're suppressing our own authenticity. Because even for me, like, I do feel that I try really hard to be my most authentic self here on the podcast and on social media. But at the same time, it's like, social media and these things, they're such a— it's like a— it's a weird construct. It's almost like without even trying, without even consciously knowing it, you become a different version of yourself in those spaces. Why do people feel like they have a different personality when they're on TikTok versus when they're on Instagram? Because there's these different, like, parameters of the platforms that you, like, mold and shapeshift yourself into, or maybe it's because it feels like there's different levels of permission on certain platforms. Like if you take Threads, for example, which is the new platform by Meta, it's like the new replacement, I guess you could say, for Twitter. That's what people are calling it. Everyone in the first few days on Threads was like, oh my God, I love the chaos. I love this energy. It feels like everyone could just be themselves, like What is happening? Like, you know, and it was really this, this almost revolution of holy shit, like there's so much permission here because no one has set up the guidelines yet. There's just no fucking rules. It's, it's a free-for-all. And so people were really going rogue and posting random opinions and sharing things that they would never share on Instagram or other platforms. And so I think, you know, we can use this as an example of a way to understand, hey, even if I think that I'm being fully authentic, could there potentially be more layers to this equation that I haven't yet explored? Because a lot of, a lot of the times, like, we don't even realize that we are suppressing our authenticity because of the way that it just kind of subconsciously happens, or the way that we've gotten so used to being a certain version of ourselves in a certain space. And so this may also show up for you— we just talked about it with social media constructs, but like this could also show up with, for you, um, in certain social situations or circles, or like, you know, the version of you, of you that you are at work versus the version of you that you are with your college friends versus, versus the version of you that you are with your, uh, work friends or your high school friends or whatever other groups you kind of— or your entrepreneur friends, like what are the different layers of authenticity that are either being expressed or covered up in all of these different arenas of your life? And it's just something interesting to explore as we talk about, you know, not sacrificing our authenticity in order to be liked so that we can stop abandoning ourselves so much. There's a quote by Mark Groves that I love. I don't know if this is his quote, but I think I first heard it from him, so I always attribute it to him. But he says, when you don't stand in the truth of what you want, You inevitably get what you don't want. And I've shared this on the podcast so many times because like there have never been truer words spoken. If you do not stand firmly in the truth of what you want, of what you desire, of what you're dreaming of, of who you want to become, of the type of person you want to date, of the standard of job that you want to have, whatever it is, if you do not stand in the truth of that and really own it, you're going to find a couple of months, years down the line that you ultimately got the exact thing that you didn't want. And so that's why it's so important for us to own our truths of who we are, what we believe, what we desire, and what we want. Okay, so moving on to step number 2 of this formula, which is to protect your energy. Hey, don't forget that every month we are picking a listener of the month to win $50 in cash just for showing love to the show. All you have to do is leave an epic review of the podcast on Apple Podcasts, screenshot the review before you hit submit, and DM that screenshot to us on Instagram @makeshifthappenpodcast. And that's it. I want to thank you for being such a loyal listener and show my appreciation by putting a little extra cash in your pocket. I know it's super easy not to do it, but every single rating and review seriously helps the show rank higher and reach new people. So we appreciate them more than you know. We'll announce the next winner at the end of the month and slide into your DMs if it's you. So keep an eye out and good luck. Love you guys and thanks for supporting Makeshift Happen. How, how do we protect our energy? There's a couple of ways we can do this. We're going to talk about these 3 different ways of protecting your energy because we've all heard this before. But the first one that I want to share with you is literally just saying no. The second one is setting boundaries, and the third one is self-care. So let's go a little bit further deeper into these things. So the first way to protect your energy is saying no. And in order to reframe saying no, this is what I want you to think about. Every time you say no, what you're really doing is you're saying yes to something else. So instead of feeling guilty about, oh, I'm saying no to this party, or I'm saying no to this invitation, or I'm saying no to this opportunity, whatever it is that you have to say no to, to protect your peace or protect your energy, remind yourself, by saying no to this, I get to say yes to blank. And maybe that is more peace. Maybe that's more space. Maybe that's more self-care. Maybe it's more time with someone who's really important to you. Maybe it's more time spent working on your business. That's a big priority for you. Whatever it is, there's always a reframe in anything that you have to say no to, especially for the people pleasers out there where it's like, you know, it really pains you to have to turn people away or turn things down or say no to stuff. By saying no to this, I get to say yes to blank, whatever that alternative is that you're now creating space for by having the courage to say no. Okay. So the second thing is boundaries, and there's 3 different types of boundaries that I want to walk us through. You've got time boundaries, you've got physical boundaries, and you've got emotional boundaries. And these are all really great ways to more effectively protect your energy. So let's start with time boundaries. Why might we need to set time boundaries? Time boundaries are going to be really important for people who are like super overgenerous with their time, or if you disrespect your own limits like working hours or break times, or how long you said you were going to watch Netflix or scroll on TikTok or whatever it is, right? If you tend to overcommit yourself and spread yourself super thin by saying yes to a lot of opportunities, engagements, events, social things, whatever. If you are asking professionals for their time without paying them, right? So the classic, can I pick your brain about something? Or if people are doing that to you, right? If you are like an online service provider, if you're someone who's Instagram for business, this happens a lot. You might get a lot of people in your DMs wanting free coaching or free advice and they're not saying, hey, can you coach me for free? Or, hey, can you give me free advice? They're just showing up to your DMs with like a whole long paragraph about their life story and the things that they're going through and wanting your book recommendations or your help or what— whatever. Right. And essentially that's them saying, hey, can you be my coach right now for free? So time boundaries are needed in situations like this. Also, giving your time where it is not reciprocated. You might notice that there are certain people or situations in your life where you give your time really freely, but the people who are on the receiving end of that, they're not really reciprocating that back for you. And so that might be a place where a time boundary is needed to be set. And what about physical boundaries? Like, when do we need to create physical boundaries for ourselves? Well, if you are wanting or needing space from a particular person, group of friends, whatever it is, uh, also things like even how you want to be touched. I think a lot of times people don't really think about this, but there's certain ways maybe that your partner might touch you or that a friend might touch you. I mean, there's even people that don't really like to be hugged, and people might just come up to them and hug them, assuming it's someone who knows them and is a friend or a family member. But if you don't like to be touched in that way, there be a physical boundary that needs to be set. Or maybe your partner does something like slaps you on the ass and you're like, I actually don't like that unless we are in these specific circumstances, or whatever it is. But like, sometimes physical boundaries need to be set. Um, another example of physical boundaries that I think are really important to talk about because they're super relevant for me, and I'm assuming they're going to be relevant for a lot of you guys, is like honoring your need for rest rest, food, and sleep. Those are like primary physical needs that we have as humans, to rest, to eat, and to sleep. And especially for my entrepreneurs who are really hungry, and you're at those early stages of your business where you're kind of in hustle mode and working on your dream is so exciting and so important to you right now. There were definitely times in my journey where I had no physical boundaries, and I was not effectively honoring my need for rest and food and sleep and movement especially. Right. And so, of course, I talk about this all the time, like we don't need to be 100% in every area of our life all the time. And of course, there's going to be a give and take, especially if you want to build something from the ground up and you want to be truly successful or have a huge impact or build a big company or make a lot of money or whatever it is. And so you might have to set certain things on the back burner. But fundamentally, like, you're gonna need rest, food, and sleep, and you're probably gonna find yourself playing with crossing those boundaries if you are an entrepreneur. And so that's a place for you to kind of reflect and go, okay, what are my physical boundaries like with things like rest, food, sleep, and movement? And do I need to change them or set them to be firmer with myself? Right? And I think a lot of the times boundaries that we set with ourselves are actually some of the most challenging uphold because you're the person who sets it and you're also the person that breaks it. And so it's like, who's— where's the authority here? Like, who's the boss in this situation? But again, I mean, that's a whole other reflection of just entrepreneurship in general, right? Like, you can set your calendar, but then you made the calendar, so you could always change it, right? Uh, so that's definitely like a challenge for me is being the type of person who can uphold my own boundaries. That's a challenge. And I think if you can do that, you will be be better at upholding boundaries that you have with other people as well. And you'll feel more integrity in, in doing that and upholding boundaries with others because you know, like, these are my standards. Like, I, I have, I have solid boundaries for myself. And so yes, of course I can enforce this boundary for someone else because I respect myself enough to follow the guidelines that I've created for my life. And I expect that the people who love me and care for me and are important to me in my life will also respect those guidelines or boundaries. The last one is like sexual boundaries and preferences. It's just another example of physical boundaries or where they may need to come into play. Maybe if you— I mean, even if you're in a relationship, but especially if you are into things like polyamory or group sex or anything where there's multiple people involved, like sexual boundaries and preferences for sure need to be clearly laid out. That one might not be as applicable to as many people, but it's still relevant to mention in the physical boundaries category. And then the third one that we have is the emotional boundaries. So things like asking permission before you vent to someone. This shows true emotional intelligence when you can show up to a conversation with a friend and instead of just dumping on them everything that's happening to you or the drama in your life or who said what at work and what's going on or whatever. And you can actually say, hey, like, something really crazy is happening for me right now, or you'll never guess what I just experienced, or I just had the craziest interaction, or whatever it is. Do you have space for me to share it with you? Or can I talk to you about this now? Or should we save it for later? But like asking permission before you vent on really heavy topics or drama-filled events or anything like that, to just respect the emotional capacity and bandwidth of the person who's going to be on the receiving end of that conversation. Also honoring other people's feelings, which sounds fucking basic, but like, I'm sure, you know, so many people in the world that haven't really mastered this and don't know how to honor someone else's feelings without making them wrong. And so the way that we honor other people's feelings is we believe what is true for them. We don't dismiss or gaslight when they share how they feel. We just believe that that's probably how they feel. If they're saying that, that's how they feel and we honor it. You can maintain a different opinion. You can engage in further conversation from that. You can share your perspective. You can do a lot of things. But honoring someone's feelings is a version of having emotional boundaries. The flip side of that is saying how you feel, right? Like being able to express how you feel. Oversharing or sharing inappropriate emotional information for the relationship. So emotional boundaries are needed a lot of times between like parents and kids because sometimes parent— and this could be like, even if you're probably, especially if you're an adult, like you're still a child in the relationship but you're an adult. And it's like, you know, sometimes when you're an adult, parents want to share things with you about their marriage or about the drama in their life or whatever it is. But because you still have that parent-to-child relationship, sometimes it's just not really appropriate, the things that the parent is going or wanting to share, especially when it has to do with another parent that's involved or a stepparent. So things like, you know, oversharing or just simply sharing inappropriate emotional information to like for that relationship dynamic. And then clear and honest communication over having these, you know, short responses like, I'm fine, or k. 'Okay,' or 'Yep, everything's good,' but like actually being able to have that clear and honest communication. And in order to do so, you might need to have some boundaries in place so that it feels like a safe space for you to be able to do that. Okay, and then the last piece that we're talking about here when it comes to protecting your energy is self-care. So a lot, I mean, like self-care is so overdone at this point. We're like, uh, shoot me. We all know what it is, but what are the, what are we actually talking about when we're talking about self-care? Just to not beat a dead horse, but to round out this conversation about protecting your energy. When I think about self-care, I think about like 3 different pillars of it. Essentially, you've got your basic needs, your daily practices, and then raising your vibration. If I can hit those 3 pillars, I know that I'm gonna be taken care of. Right? So I'm meeting my basic needs. I have certain daily practices that are non-negotiables. You probably have some for yourself. Those are like your morning, evening routines, whatever you like to do for yourself. And then if I'm engaging in practices or conversations or hanging out with people that raise my vibration, I know that I'm filling my cup and I'm going to be well-rounded, feeling like I can give to other people in my life. So basic needs, daily practices, and raising your vibration. If you hit those 3 things, you're probably going to be pretty taken care of in the self-care department, and that's a beautiful way to protect your energy. Okay, moving on to step 3 of this formula for becoming highly successful. Step 3 is to become highly self-aware, and this is like the root of so much of the work that I do, especially when, you know, I first started in life and mindset coaching and subconscious reprogramming. Self-awareness was such a huge thing. And so I want to share with you guys just some, you know, basic kind of ideas, suggestions of ways that you can build self-awareness, because a lot of the times we're like, yeah, I want to become more self-aware, but what is— what do I need to do? Like, what does that actually mean? And so these are some ways to build your self-awareness. You can um, get into things like Human Design. So essentially studying your soul's blueprint, if you're into that kind of thing. You could do something like a past life regression to understand more of your soul's journey through other lifetimes. You could obviously work with a professional like a coach or a therapist of some kind to kind of dig into some of the topics around your life and your patterns and your behaviors. Um, you can work on uncovering any hidden limiting beliefs that you might have You can learn your core fear and your core desire, which you can find that out also through studying like your Enneagram type. That will show you your core fear and your core desire. You can learn your motivation style, which is really important, like if you're intrinsically or extrinsically motivated. And you can work on meeting your inner child. So when we talk about So I think the inner child is, is an interesting one for us to kind of dig into a little bit because there's a lot of conversation about it. It's becoming more popular. There's a lot of conversations on TikTok about it. And then you have things like you'll see Kendall Jenner on Jay Shetty's podcast talking about her inner child. And she shares like, I'm pretty sure in that interview she shared a very basic inner child exercise that a lot of us have probably heard of, which is just taking a photo of— finding a photo of yourself when you were younger, probably anywhere from the ages of like 1 to 7 would be a really great age range. And then having that photo somewhere where you're going to see it often, so on your desk or on your bathroom mirror or somewhere where you're— maybe hanging on the fridge, but somewhere where you're going to be seeing it often so that you have more opportunities to remember that version of you and connect to who you were as a child, how you felt, what you needed, all of those things. So what are some signs of having a wounded inner child? The first one is, is lack of self-trust or lack of trust in others. Like, if you struggle to trust other people a lot, that could be a sign of a wounded inner child. Um, having insecurities or low self-worth in general. Difficulty feeling or expressing your emotions, self-abandonment like we talked about, no boundaries like we talked about, relying on romantic relationships to fix or save you is another big one. That's an indicator of a wounded inner child, and maybe it's one that's less talked about. But I love this quote from Dr. Nicole LePera. She wrote the book— what's the title of the book? I think it's called How to Do the Work. Some of you guys probably follow her on Instagram. She's got a really famous Instagram account. I think it's called The Holistic Psychologist. But she has this quote about the inner child, and it says the inner child becomes activated when a present-day experience subconsciously touches on a childhood wound or limiting belief. And so that's another— just another way of saying that we got triggered, right? That's really what triggers are, is it's a moment where something touches a childhood wound or a limiting belief. And so our inner child becomes activated and we actually show up from the space of who we were at that age rather than showing up from our more mature, self-aware, emotionally intelligent adult self. Like, that's literally what's happening when you get triggered and when your inner child becomes activated. So I love that way of framing it, and I think her words there are just just make it really easy to understand. So how can we heal the inner child, right? Some simple ways without making this like an inner child workshop per se, but just to sort of like round out some of these conversations so that we're not just grazing the surface. But what are some ways that we can heal the inner child? Well, you can do reparenting work, and that's something that you can either do online with a lot of free resources or you could do it with a therapist who specializes in it. Another thing is to simply recognize your common traumas. So of course, like capital T traumas are extremely relevant to the inner child work, especially if you had childhood trauma, like significant childhood traumas, but also even just recognizing like the common traumas. So the little traumas that are things like being made fun of or being excluded from a group like one time. It doesn't even have to be like this perpetual thing where you were bullied or always left out, but even just one small moment where you wanted to join a group and they were like, oh no, sorry, like we're already— we already have our group and whatever. There's small things that can happen when you're a child that classify as common traumas, and it can be pretty much anything that makes you feel unsafe or unseen, or situations where there wasn't an adult present to help you make sense of what was actually happening. And so you internalized a meaning about something that maybe didn't have to be the real meaning or the true meaning, but it felt real for you in that situation. And so you created a meaning out of it that then later becomes stored as like a limiting belief or a feeling about yourself or whatever it is. Another way to work on healing your inner child is to create these disconfirming experiences. So disconfirming experiences are basically just like things that are happening in your active reality that effectively disconfirm what your inner child was made to believe, right? And so you— if you believed or were made to believe at some point in your childhood that people always leave you, or that you will always be abandoned, you can start to create disconfirming experiences in your adult life by continuing to remind yourself and show yourself, here are all the ways that I'm consistently held and supported and not abandoned. These are the people that have always been there for me, that will always be there for me. And so creating those disconfirming experiences can help to heal some of the wounds from the inner child. I like to use inner child visualizations as well. It just really helps you connect more deeply, I think, to that version of yourself. Because as an adult, we can look at everything with perspective, but as a child, you don't have that perspective. And so as an adult, it's like very easy to be like, oh, well, that wasn't really— like, I can see why they left me out, or why I got made fun of, or why this thing happened, or whatever. Like, I understand kids are just kids, and whatever. We have perspective and we have way more, way more ability to use our logic now as adults. And so it can be challenging to really transport ourselves back to that place and understand why it has become such a wound for our inner child. And so that's why I kind of like the visualization method, because it really kind of transports you in time and allows you to really feel and understand how you felt as a child at that age when that thing happened. Um, another one is like connecting just with the essence of your inner child and finding ways to express it. So doing things that you loved as a child, uh, looking at things through the lens of how you saw it when you were a kid, maybe even like swinging on a swing set or playing outside or riding a bike or doing any of these things that we used to do as kids and they brought us a lot of joy, but we feel like it doesn't makes sense to do them now as adults because there's no real benefit to it for our lives. But there really is a benefit to embracing your inner child and embracing the things that she loved and that brought her joy and playfulness. And of course, obviously, you know, if you want to do deep work with your inner child, you can always work with a professional, someone who specializes in inner child work, or a therapist who does that type of work with their clients. Okay. Number 4 is reprogram your beliefs. We can't talk about a 5-step formula to become wildly successful and change your life without talking about reprogramming your beliefs and your subconscious mind. So let's run through a couple of ways to begin reprogramming your beliefs. Number 1, get to know the voice of your inner critic. If you are not familiar with the voice of your inner critic and it's just functioning on autopilot and you still think that that's part of who you are, that's the first step. Being able to separate out who me, yourself, your true self from the inner critical thoughts and the overthinking and the mental chatter. So getting to know the voice of your inner critic. Number 2, rewire your neural pathways. Through mindset shifts, affirmations, any kind of personal development work like hypnosis or EFT, using these sorts of things to start to actually rewire your mind. Clear subconscious limiting beliefs. Again, you can do this in so many ways. You can work with a coach, you can do hypnosis, you can do breathwork, you can do EFT. There's a million ways to start to clear your subconscious beliefs. Practice actively reframing your thoughts. That's a way to start working on your subconscious beliefs, and it's really, really easy. I'll share with you a formula in a second, but to actively practice that means that you actually have to do it on a daily basis, right? You can't just listen to this podcast and be like, oh, great idea. You actually have to practice it and do it. Other ways to begin reprogramming your beliefs is to become the observer of your mind through meditation. And so instead of feeling identified with every thought that you have, you actually step outside of your mind and you become this third-party observer and you just watch the thoughts that happen to your mind and you're able to distinguish that is not actually me, that is just a thought that's happening to me. And okay, very interesting. I wonder why that is. Or let me just not make it mean anything and let me let it pass. What would I like to choose to think instead, right? Something you can ask yourself is, am I willing to see this differently? That's a really great question. Am I willing to see this differently? This will actively start to reprogram some of your beliefs when you are in situations where you find yourself spiraling or going back into one of your patterns and you're like, oh my God, I don't want to feel this way. I don't want to this way, then ask yourself, am I willing to see this scenario differently? Am I willing to make it mean something else? And of course, to find the learnings inside of the challenges, setbacks, and heartbreaks, the, the ups and downs, the things that we go through in life, and being willing to look for what it is that those things are teaching you instead of only focusing on how painful they are or only focusing on how inconvenient they are, but also being able to approach through the lens of This is annoying and painful and inconvenient and I don't like it. And also, what is it teaching me? How is it strengthening me? What am I learning from this? What would I do differently next time? How is this fortifying my faith in some way? Okay, so here's the reframe formula. I've shared it before. I'll share it again. This is what I give to all of my clients. It's super easy. It's actionable. You can do it today, every day, all the time. Takes 10 seconds. It's so easy. All you have to do is say, I forgive myself for thinking blank. I choose to believe that blank. Whenever you have a negative thought or belief pop up in your mind, doesn't matter where you are or what you're doing. It could be a belief about money. It could be a belief about your potential, about your weight, about your body image, about your skin, about your lifestyle, about your job, about whatever. Wherever you are at any point in time, if you have a belief where you're like, hmm, the future version of myself that has everything that she wants probably wouldn't be thinking this way. All you have to do is pause, take 10 seconds, and go, I forgive myself for thinking— insert the thought that just passed through your brain— I choose to believe that blank. Insert a new, better, more empowering belief that your future self would probably embody in order to have the life, career, finances, relationship, whatever it is that she desires. That's the reframe formula. Use it, take it with you, love it, get addicted to it. It'll change your fucking life. Okay, now the last step in our 5-step formula to become highly successful is dun dun dun, of course, to integrate manifestation. We couldn't talk about how to change your life on this podcast without talking about manifestation, right? So integrating manifestation. A lot of you who listen to this probably already are doing this in your life, so we won't spend a ton of time on it. But for those of you who know about manifestation, you've heard about it, or maybe you're wanting to manifest but you feel like you're not actually doing it, let's quickly go over the 5 5-step process that I always teach when it comes to manifestation, because it's not really that challenging once you understand that these are the 5 parts. If you can work on these 5 things, you don't need to be perfect at all of them, but if you work on these 5 things, you will begin to manifest and attract and become magnetic. So the first one is clarity, and this basically just means getting really clear about what it is that you want, where you're going, what that looks like, what it feels like. Exactly what we talked about at the beginning, right? Understanding what— coming all the way back to alignment. We have to know how we want to feel on the other side of the manifestation in order to get aligned with it. So we're going to build that clarity around where we're going, what it is that we want. And if you know nothing else, if you don't have the details of what's the new career path or what kind of job you want or who the person is that you want to date you're— the way that you're going to establish clarity is through that feeling, because for sure, you know how you want that thing to feel. You know how you want to feel in the dream relationship. You know how you want to feel in the dream home. You know how you want to feel in the dream job or the dream career or the dream business. Right. And so establishing that clarity. Number 2 is vibration. So getting your vibration on board and a lot of the vibrational alignment is going to happen by doing the other 4 things that we've talked about in this episode so far. But basically getting yourself into that energetic alignment, operating on a frequency that is equal to or higher than the things that you want to attract. Spoiler alert: most of the things that we want to attract in our life are super high vibrational. So we've got to do our best to make sure that we're setting boundaries, taking care of ourselves, eliminating things that are not in alignment with what we want, doing all the things that we've spoken about today already so that we can be energetically aligned and a match for those things that we're wanting to attract. The third step in the manifestation process is embodiment. And what this means is you have to start to actually embody the version of yourself that would have it, right? It's like beating a dead horse. I'm sure we've heard this a million trillion times, but it's always good to have a little reminder and maybe thinking about for yourself and setting up a little challenge like, how could I more deeply embody the next level version of myself, right? So maybe you've already manifested quite a few things in your life. You already practice this, you know how it works. Manifestation has become a lifestyle for you. And so now the challenge is, is there some way that I could embody this even deeper? Or challenge yourself to go a little bit further out into the future, thinking about the things that you think are really hard to get to or that are that take a long time for you to establish, or that feel really challenging in your business or finances or whatever it is, and ask yourself, how can I embody that? What would it feel like to actually be that person already? And how would she think, move, and act, right? How would she show up in the world? How would she treat herself? What would her standards be? This is all embodiment. The fourth step is of course action. We can't actually create things in the world and manifest what we want if we're just sitting back and twiddling our thumbs and doing nothing. So taking a look for yourself, like, what is the action that you need to take? And sometimes I want to encourage you because we get a little bit lazy with the action. So you might be taking the same actions over and over again. And if that's the case, you're like, I'm showing up, I'm doing the things, I'm taking the action. Well, maybe this episode is a beautiful refresh and reminder for you of like, okay, well, hang on. If you've been doing the same things all the time, Can we do something different? Is there a shift that needs to happen? Are we putting our focus on something that isn't working? Are we putting our focus on things that aren't actually moving the needle? How could this action— maybe the inspired aligned action needs to change a little bit. Maybe we need a refresh. Maybe we need to actually sit in meditation or in prayer and ask for guidance of what the next action step is so that we can move beyond this level or the— or this threshold and actually having the courage. You know, I think courage is a big part of the action piece of the Manifestation Formula because a lot of us know the actions that we should be taking, but we're either half doing them or just not doing them at all because we're scared. And so just hear me on this. If you know what you're supposed to be doing and you're not actually doing it, it doesn't count. Like, you know what I mean? If you're like, oh, clarity, clarity, clarity, vibration, vibration, alignment, embodiment, but then you're not doing the fucking hard that you need to be doing because I'm scared, then what do you— what do you want, right? It's not really going to work. It's not going to happen. Okay. And then the last final fifth piece of the manifestation process is, of course, trust or surrender, however you want to look at it. And that really involves our spiritual beliefs and handing things over to a greater power, God, source, universe, whatever you believe in, but really trusting that the things that are meant for you will not pass you. And that as long as you are doing these other 4 things, that you don't have to have the weight of this entire manifestation on your shoulders all by yourself, because it's not just you that is in the manifestation process. It's you and God. It's you and Source. It's you and the universe. It's you and your higher self. You are not the creator of all things. You are simply the co-creator.. And so you don't have to be the boss 100% of the time. You don't have to call all the shots. You don't have to know the how of how these things are going to possibly unfold or, or happen for you. Right? That's the beautiful part of it is you get to establish the clarity, match the vibration, work on your embodiment, take aligned actions. And if you're still like, this feels impossible, I don't know how the fuck this is going to happen. The good news is is you don't need to know it. That's where the trust piece comes in, and you get to surrender that last final piece over to the universe and say, I'm doing my part, and also I trust that you are doing yours. So show me how good it gets to be. Show me the magic. Show me the miracles. I'm open today to receiving divine downloads or to receiving the right people or conversations to be put in the right rooms to be shown the things that I need to see in order to figure out the next steps, right? You're not going to be able to see step 2 until you take step 1. And so that's your job, is you take step 1 and you trust that step 2 will appear. If you're waiting to be able to see the end of the road of how things are going to unfold or how it's going to work out, or, okay, this is the ABCDEFG process and these are all the things I need to know, then you're going to be stuck at the starting line for a really long time because that's not how manifestation works. Manifestation requires your faith. It requires your trust. And what faith actually is, is blindly believing in something even when you can't see it. So you actually have to take the action before you know that it's going to work. You can't get around that. You can't just know that it's for sure or know that it's going to work and then take the action. That's not manifestation. And that's why most people don't have what they want in life, because they're waiting to know that it's going to be for certain before they actually do anything about it. And so that's a huge, huge key, is to stop waiting for certainty and just lean in to the trust. So if you can do these 5 things and actually do them right and do them well, we covered a lot of ground within each of the 5 steps. Steps as part of this formula for building or becoming wildly successful. But if it— so there's a lot here, but if you can actually do these 5 things, and you don't need to be perfect at them and you don't need to master all of them, but you just need to be in practice of them, if you can do that, your life will change. And maybe some of you who have listened to the show for a long time or who are deep in personal development, you know this, your and your results are a testimony to the fact that these things are really important. They truly matter, and they actually do change or have changed the entire trajectory of your life, your relationships, your career, and your bank account. For anyone who has not had that experience yet, I want you to embody the fifth and final step of manifestation, which is trust. And trust that if you go on this journey and you work on these 5 things,, you will become successful. There is no other way around it because you are going to actively shift into a version of yourself who is magnetic to the things that she desires. And so your external world will start to shift around you when you make these internal changes. I hope you guys enjoyed this episode. I'm really excited to deliver the other parts of this series, so stay tuned. We'll have one next week and the week after that. There's something exciting coming up which I cannot wait to share with you, and that is the Abundance Activation Workshop that is happening on the Lion's Gate, August 8th. If you don't know, the Lion's Gate is the most powerful manifestation day of the year. And every single year— this will be the third year— I host a free workshop all about abundance so that you can come and start to reprogram your mind tap into the collective energy and start spinning your dreams into reality. So if you would like to join us, we will leave a link in the show notes below for you to sign up for this free workshop. It is 100% free. We do it every single year. It's super powerful every time. It's so much fun. Come join us live for the most potent, powerful energy as we sit as a collective and meditate and call in infinite abundance clear our energy to receive, declare and attract our manifestations, and really align with the frequency of wealth and overflow. But if you can't make it live on the Lion's Gate, you can always watch the replay recording. So when you sign up, you will receive a recording in your inbox shortly after the live workshop takes place. So the workshop will be held live on Zoom. It is going down on August 8th at 10:00 AM Eastern Eastern Standard Time. And like I said, there will be a recording sent out if you cannot make it live. But if you want to tap into the frequency of wealth and become magnetic to your desires, make sure that you sign up. Come join us. The link is in the show notes below. Thank you so much for tuning in to the podcast. As always, if you guys haven't left us 5 stars on Spotify or Apple yet, I encourage you to please go do so. We only have a couple hundred 5-star reviews on both platforms, even though we've got millions of downloads, right? So I know there's some of you that are listening that love the podcast, but you probably don't follow the show yet, or you haven't left us 5 stars. It takes 5 seconds. So if you're feeling extra generous today, or you really loved this episode or any episode of the show, I would really appreciate if you go and do that for us. Thank you so much. As always, take a screenshot, share it to your stories, or, uh, copy the link to this episode and send it to someone who you think think might really resonate or need it and spread some of the love. I love you guys so much, and I'll talk to you next week. Bye!