The Butterfly Effect & 5 Manifestation Tips for a Top Tier Life

What's up, you guys? Welcome back to the podcast. So this week we have a special episode for you because last summer I had the privilege of being invited to speak at Abercrombie Fitch global headquarters in Columbus, Ohio. And in this episode, you get to hear some of what I shared with the A&F team that day during my talk. I break down the wild, unexpected moves that led me to where I am today in life and business, why I believe that self-trust is the ultimate life strategy. We talk about risk versus reward, and the 5 things that you really need to master in order to manifest a top-tier life and career, no matter where you're starting from. This day speaking at Abercrombie was so much fun, and I actually had my videographer Kirsten travel there with me, and she filmed the entire thing. So if you are more of a visual person and you'd love to watch this talk in video format, we're also posting it to my YouTube channel, so you can click the link in the show notes below if you prefer to watch this on YouTube. And then we're also going to post a vlog version of this experience that you can see kind of the behind the scenes of the facilities at ANF, the tour that they gave us, everything that I was doing to prepare for my talk, and more. So we'll post that vlog as well on my YouTube. So click the link in the show notes if you want to check that out.

But I'm really excited to finally get to share this episode with you.

You'll notice that the sound quality is quite good because I was wearing a mic, but there's a little bit of, um, like a white noise background just because it was a different setting. I'm obviously not in my office with my microphone in silence. I'm speaking in a room full of people with a like little clip-on lavalier mic. So we did the best that we could with the audio. I think it still sounds good. There's just like a little bit of background, but I hope you guys enjoy it. If you do love this episode, I would love to hear from you. Anyone who leaves a rating and review for the podcast on Apple in the month of March is going to be entered to win a $50 gift card from me. We'll send you money to your favorite store or Venmo, PayPal, whatever is going to be easiest for you. But all you have to do is review the show on Apple podcast, take a screenshot of your written review and just send it to us on Instagram. Make sure that you send it to the podcast account, not my personal Instagram, because my DMs get really full and kind of messy over there. So we'll be able to really see your entries better on the podcast account, which is @makeshifthappenpodcast. So when you write your written review, before you post it, just take a screenshot, send it in a DM to @makeshifthappenpodcast on Instagram, and you'll be entered to win. We want to send you guys some money, and thank you for always supporting the show and your ratings and reviews really, really help keep the show in the charts, help other people find the show. So we love that and always, always appreciate it. Thank you guys so much, and I hope you enjoy this episode. Let's dive in. Welcome to the Makeshift Happen podcast. I'm your host, Samantha Daly, entrepreneur, life coach, and your no BS bestie, here to bring you all things mindset, manifestation, and personal development. This podcast is designed to help you expand your mind and uplevel your life. So turn the volume volume up and roll the windows down if you're coming along for the ride. Let's go make shift happen!

The wait is over and it is finally back, you guys!

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Hey guys, how are you? Thank you for being here. I'm so excited to see the room full. So many beautiful faces. I'm really excited to be here today. Thanks for getting me out of the humidity of Miami, although I did think it was going to be a little bit cooler here. I was like, oh wait, still fucking hot. Um, but that's okay. Um, I actually went to school at Ohio State, so I love coming back to Columbus. It has a special place in my heart, so I'm really, really happy to be here and excited to be talking to you all today about manifesting your top-tier life and career. I was really excited when the women of this guild reached out to me to ask me to come in because they said, we'd love for you to talk about manifestation. And I was just like, cool, like such a huge part of my life and my journey. But I know it's not the most common topic in corporate spaces, so I'm excited to be that person for you and to get to talk about something that maybe is a little bit different than your day-to-day. So before we start, I just want to introduce introduce myself a little bit, give you guys some background on who I am and what I do. I'm the founder and CEO of Samantha Daly LLC, which is my company. It's a digital education business helping heart-led visionaries and female leaders really reach their highest potential. I'm a business consultant for female entrepreneurs. I'm also a life and mindset coach certified by the International Alliance of Holistic Therapists. I am the host of Makeshift Happen podcast, which is probably the reason I'm in this room because Sam listens and she's the person that kind of plugged me in and got me here. So the podcast is one of my favorite projects that I get to work on. It's such a passion project of mine. We've been ranked in the top 50 in the self-improvement category for all podcasts in the US, Canada, UK, and Australia. I'm also a retreat host, which is a super cool part of my job. I get to host luxury retreats around the world for women who are wanting to do personal growth work, strategize for their businesses, do kind of deep healing work, embodiment, all that sort of stuff. And then some random other little things about me: I'm also a past life regression therapy practitioner. So I like the spiritual side of things. I'm very strategic when it comes to business, but I like to pair that with spirituality. I just recently went on an 11-day pilgrimage through the magic of ancient Egypt, which was incredible. So I'm always trying to like find new things and put myself in spaces to grow and evolve. And I'm also a certified yoga and meditation teacher. So it's a mixed bag with me. There's a lot, there's a lot going on. What I really want to talk to you guys about today is the journey of transforming your future. And the journey of transforming your future really starts with the decisions that you make today. The big ones, the small ones, the nonsensical ones, and those random ones that at the time they kind of seem inconsequential, but they can later have a really big impact on the trajectory of your life and your career and your future. And so what I'm going to do today, I'm going to share part of my story and my life and how I ended up where I am and some of those big and small and seemingly inconsequential decisions that I made that led me to be here in this room in front of you all today. So I'm sure you guys have heard of the butterfly effect. It's obviously, you know, a thing that's been around forever, but it's also a recent trend on social media. So the butterfly effect is just this idea that everything affects everything, right? That the flap of a butterfly's wing somewhere could create a storm or a hurricane. And so it's this idea that one small choice or one small decision that we make in our life could have an entire cascade or ripple effect throughout the rest of our journey. And my butterfly effect really started when I was 12 years old. I was in 6th grade and I was trying to decide what language I was gonna study. And I didn't wanna study anything at all. I was just like, I don't wanna do this, but we were forced. So I was like, okay, I'm gonna pick the easiest one. I'll just pick Spanish. And I didn't know at the time that that choice was going to ripple out through the rest of my life and impact my direction. My relationships, my career in so many different ways. Um, and so by starting to study Spanish, I discovered that I was actually kind of good at it and I kind of liked it. And so I just kept going with it. And when I came to Ohio State, I decided to minor in Spanish for Business. One, to not lose everything that I had studied, because as soon as you stop practicing, you lose everything. I'm sure some of you know that from studying languages in school. But really it was a selfish decision because I knew that it was going to be my key so that I could convince my parents to allow me to study abroad in another country. I always wanted to travel. I wanted to go to far and wide places and see the world, but I knew that I had to make it make sense, right? It had to be logical for my parents. So I thought if I study this and it's part of my degree, they'll have to let me do this. And so that lands us in 2015. In Madrid, Spain. I made the dream come to life. I was able to study abroad and I decided to go all by myself. I didn't go with any of my friends, no one that I knew. I didn't even go affiliated with OSU. I just went completely on my own. And I decided to live with a host family and really just immerse myself in the experience to learn the culture and the language and challenge myself and get outside of my comfort zone. And so this is where the story kind of gets juicy. Once we bring the guy into the picture. So to make a really long story short, um, I was 21 at the time, recently single. I'm in Europe for the first time in my life, and I'm just so committed to this vision of doing and seeing and experiencing absolutely everything that I can. And so in the pursuit of doing and seeing and experiencing absolutely everything possible, I accidentally fall in love with this Spanish guy.

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Very inconvenient. And it changed everything. It changed everything for me. So I wasn't planning, I wouldn't normally come into a corporate space and share pictures of us, but I figured for this event, it's a room full of mostly women. Like everyone wants the pics. So we'll just put some pictures up. I pulled these from the archives. So these are like grainy from Facebook. We're clearly in our selfie stick era. This is circa 2015, 2016. I'm living my Lizzie McGuire moment, falling in love with this man, like running around Spain. He's teaching me culture, language. We're trying to understand each other. I just felt like I was in a fairy tale. But I knew like, this is gonna end. Like I'm never gonna see this guy again. I was really just like doing it for the story, so I thought, right? And it did, it came to an end. And when the semester finished, I got on a plane, I said goodbye, and I left. And I came back to Columbus to finish my senior year here at Ohio State. And in that year, I found myself in a long-distance relationship with this guy that I had just met that I barely knew for 3 months. And it was just this whirlwind of, you know, things taking shape that were out of my control. When I got to graduation, I had no idea what I was gonna do. I didn't know how this was gonna make sense. We're 21, we have our whole lives ahead of us. Like we live in different continents. Like what are you thinking, Sam? Like just be realistic, right? So I really didn't know what I was gonna do. And I was faced with what felt like a really hard choice because I had this job offer in Chicago and I had always seen myself, my vision for my career at the time was like, I always saw myself as being this, career woman and I wanted to live in a big city and be really independent. Like I just pictured myself like walking through Chicago, like, yes, cool apartment, like new friends. Like it was a whole vision. But then I had this other option to follow my heart. And the reason why this choice felt hard was really only because of how other people were going to perceive it. It was actually quite simple for me because I already knew what I wanted to do. I already knew what I was going to do deep down. But I was really concerned with other people's opinions. And I knew that a lot of people were gonna look at me and think that I was being silly and naive and dumb for making this choice. I knew that it was gonna make no sense to my parents. Like, "Hey, thanks for helping me get this degree. See you later. I'm gonna go head off to Spain and, you know, earn $1,000 a month to teach English in the schools, to chase after a guy that I just met from an app. And don't you think it's a great idea?" No one thought it was that great of an idea, right? And so I was really in my head about the optics of like what people were gonna think about me and, um, comparison with what my peers were doing at the time. Everyone's graduating, they're making these career moves, they're getting exciting job offers, and I was doing something totally rogue, right? So what do you do when your desires and your aspirations feel completely illogical? Whatever it is that you're dreaming of for your lives, Now we're in the future. Sometimes we're faced with these choices of like, I really want this thing, or I want to be this person, or I want to dress this way, or I want to act this way, or I want to become a new version of myself. But all these people from my past, they know me as this different version. They know me as someone else. How do you break out of that shell when the desires and the aspirations feel illogical? Are you the type of person that trusts your intuition and goes with your gut, or do you start asking everyone else for their input? Do you go to the people in your life and say, hey, what do you think?

Is this a good idea?

Do you think I should do this? Does this look good on me? Am I this type of person? Or do you follow what's inside? Do you go after your goals and your aspirations wholeheartedly with courage? Or do you kind of hope that if it's meant to be, it will be? Do you sit in that passivity of, you know, thinking that if the time is right, it will happen? Do you face those hard conversations? Of having to advocate for yourself or speak up or say who you are and what you want, even though you know that it might change someone's view of you, or it might change their opinion, or it might challenge the relationship that you have with them? Or do you kind of shrink back into your shell? Are you the type of person that owns your desires and claims them loudly, or do you try to slide under the radar and just kind of do your thing and hope that nobody asks? And what I know to be true, whatever it is that you're seeking in your life or how you're wanting to grow yourselves us personally, there's always gonna be a million reasons why it doesn't make sense, why it's not the right time, why you're not ready, and why someone else is more qualified than you. And sometimes when we feel these things, they're just a perception. It's not actually the truth. It can be fear coming up. Fear is false evidence appearing real. But other times these things are really real and true. Maybe it doesn't totally make sense, right? Maybe there is someone more qualified than you. Maybe you don't know if it's the right time, but either way, when you fight for your limitations, you get to keep them. And so I want you to think for yourselves, like, are you the type of person that is arguing for your dreams or arguing against them? Are you the type of person that is finding all of the reasons why it's possible and why it could work? Or are you busy thinking about all of the excuses of how it could go wrong or why it's probably not gonna happen? Or why it's illogical, or why it might not work for someone like you, or you don't know anyone else like you that has done this before, so why would it work for you, or no one cares what I have to think. Are you arguing for the things that you want in your life, or are you arguing against them? Because if you are not willing to stand in the truth of who you are and what you want, you will inevitably get what you don't want in life. This quote changed my life. If you are not willing to stand in the truth of who you are and what you want and claim those things, you are going to end up with all of the things that you don't want. Staying quiet is not the way to get where you're trying to go in life, regardless of what you want, whether it's a raise, um, a promotion, some sort of career advancement, or maybe you want commitment in your relationship, maybe you want more reciprocal friendships. Whatever it is that you want, you have to be willing to stand in the truth of that and speak that aloud, or else you're gonna end up with what you don't want. So I was at this crossroads, right? I had the choice. Do I take the job offer in Chicago or do I move to Spain, follow the guy, earn no money and figure it out? And in that moment I made what ended up being the most important decision of my life and my career. And I chose me. I chose me over everything. I chose me over the societal expectations. I chose me over financial gain. I chose me over other people's opinions. I chose me. And I packed my life into two suitcases and I got on a plane and I moved to Spain. I spent the last of my savings on a visa and a plane ticket. I left everything and everyone that I knew behind. And I followed my heart, and I ended up living in Spain for the next 6 years, where so much of my personal growth journey started taking place. And it's where my business was born and the podcast was started, and everything that I have now and that I am now is a result of this brave decision. So what I learned from this is sometimes the most important decisions that you will ever make in your life are the ones that make no sense to anyone but you. But if you are committed to building a top-tier version of your life and your career, you have to understand that there is no other choice. There's no other way to live than to be committed to staying in alignment with who you are and what you want, and to follow that inner guidance system that you have. You understand that there's no reward without the risks and being willing to step outside of your comfort zone and take those chances, because that is where all the magic happens. When we start to get uncomfortable. And in order to do this, in order to take these risks, to use our voices, to advocate for the things that we want out of life and career and relationships, we have to have a level of self-trust. And self-trust is so important, especially for women, because so often we will say that, you know, we're overthinkers or we're indecisive. And what that really means is that you're disconnected from your inner guidance system. You're disconnected from the wisdom of your body and what it already knows and what it's telling you. And so I think there's a big misconception with self-trust because people think that it means, you know, I know that this is the right option for me, or everything is always going to work out, or I, I know how to choose the right choice. And that's not really self-trust. Self-trust is understanding that at any crossroads, at any choice, there's an option A and there's an option B, and there's not one right answer and one wrong answer. Self-trust is actually understanding that no matter what I choose, as long as I'm following my heart, I know that I'm gonna be able to figure this out. And whether this turns out exactly the way that I planned and hoped, or it goes completely differently and I decide that I don't like this anymore, or I wanna make a pivot, that I've got my own back. That's self-trust. That no matter what you choose, once you get there, you will be able to be smart enough, resourceful enough, resilient enough, to figure out what that next step is. And that's really what is gonna allow us to be able to take more risks in our life is knowing that there's not a right or wrong. We don't have to get so caught up in like, oh, is this the smartest move? Is this the best move? You're never going to be able to see the end result of the two options that you're faced with. And so you have to choose based on the feeling that you have in your body and just know that no matter what happens, you're gonna be okay because you have got you. And you don't lead yourself down the wrong path. And as soon as you realize that something is not for you, or it's out of alignment with you or your values, you know exactly what to do to change that and to pivot and to take a new path. And when we start living in this way, something really beautiful happens. We receive what I call the invisible ROI. And the invisible ROI is all of the unexpected benefits that happen when you invest in your happiness and your joy. Over choosing to hustle and struggle and push and force your way through something that someone else has told you is the right way or is a good idea, but that you don't actually feel in alignment with. When you start living like this, miracles happen for you because your joy and your happiness and your fulfillment are the magnetism that brings opportunity and prosperity to your life. So I could have never imagined everything that I would receive from making that one brave choice to follow my heart and lead with my intuition. But my invisible ROI of making that unconventional choice to decline my corporate job offer and instead, you know, abandon everything and move to Spain, earn $1,000 a month and teach English in schools, something that made no sense for my career at the time. I could have never imagined what the return on that investment in my joy and my fulfillment was gonna be. But the return on that investment was me going on a personal healing journey through those years in Spain and actually discovering my passion and my purpose and my natural talents. And through that, I was able to become an entrepreneur and start a business and grow a podcast. And through my work, I was able to help thousands of women change their lives all around the world. Women send me messages all the time telling me that they've healed their anxiety or they've healed their marriage or They no longer feel suicidal, or they started their dream business, or they're making more money than ever, or they got a raise, or they're finally feeling healthy. All of these things, that ripple effect, that impact would've never been able to happen if I was stuck in my head about what people were gonna think of me, right? And so the invisible ROI is so much magic happens when you lead and follow and trust yourself. Self-trust is my main business strategy. I say this all the time, and I, stand by it because I wouldn't have been able to create any of the things that I did if I didn't trust myself. And I think this is really important for all the women in the room and, and listening online and women everywhere because we have the power as women to change so much in the world, right? Our voices are so needed and we can influence policy and we can change worldview and we can impact relationships And there's so much that we can do, but only if we have the self-trust to actually be willing to be seen and to take up space and to use our voices. And that's not possible if you don't trust yourself. And so there's a new paradigm of feminine leadership that we're seeing being ushered into the world, and we need to work towards more of that. And so it requires us to actually be willing to take risks and stand in our self-trust and advocate for the things that we believe are important. Because that's how we create change. And so my clients will ask me often, you know, how did you, how did you pitch yourself to these major podcasts and publications? Like, you know, when is this fear going to go away that I'm feeling as I'm chasing my dreams? And do you ever stop feeling like an imposter? And so what I want to remind you all of is whatever you're pursuing in your lives and your careers, if you feel like an imposter, which we all do at times, imposter syndrome is not something to be conquered. It's not something to be healed. Imposter syndrome is actually a sign that you are growing. So it's not something that you need to get rid of. It's actually this beautiful green light that is showing you to keep going, and it's, and it's showing you that you're stepping outside of your comfort zone, right? And to tell you the truth, I was feeling imposter syndrome coming up in preparation for this talk because I've never worked in a corporate space. The only corporate job offers I ever got, I declined them. So I can't stand in front of you all today and pretend that, you know, I understand the complexities of, of your life or the work-life balance or, you know, being employees or bosses in this space. But I know that imposter syndrome means that you are doing something new that you haven't mastered yet. And what a gift is that to go forward with that and trust yourself in that path. So as I was creating this, I was like, gosh, if I'm gonna talk about imposter syndrome and I'm feeling imposter syndrome in the process, then I have to be the embodiment of that and not let this feeling stop me from showing up today and talking to all of you. So if you feel that imposter syndrome, it means you're meeting an edge of your comfort zone, and that's a good place to be. It means that you're learning how to dance with that fear and not make it mean anything about you and just keep going anyways. And it means that you're willing to show up in ways that other people are not, because most people love the comfort zone and they stray away from doing things that challenge them.

Hey, don't forget that every month we are picking a listener of the month to win $50 in cash just for showing love to the show. All you have to do is leave an epic review of the podcast on Apple Podcasts, screenshot the review before you hit submit, and DM that screenshot to us on Instagram at Makeshift Happen Podcast. And that's it. I want to thank you for being such a loyal listener and show my appreciation by putting a little extra cash in your pocket. I know it's super easy not to do it, but every single rating and review seriously helps the show rank higher and reach new people, so we appreciate them more than you know. We'll announce the next winner at the end of the month and slide into your DMs if it's you, so keep an eye out and good luck. Love you guys, and thanks for supporting Makeshift Happen.

But bravery does not actually mean being fearless, right? Bravery only exists if the emotion of fear is present, right? Because if you don't feel fear, then it doesn't mean that you're being brave. So bravery is not about not having the fear. It's about feeling the fear and doing it anyways. It's about being willing to try something new, being willing to put yourself out there, being willing to use your voice. Being willing to suck, uh, and being willing to get rejected. I'll never forget, it was early on in my business journey of becoming an entrepreneur. I had just a handful of clients at the time. I had no real audience. I didn't have a podcast at all. And I just started pitching myself to these major podcasts with like millions of listeners. I had no real business doing that. I don't know. I, Shout out to past self who was just like, yeah, let's go. Because I look back now and I'm like, wow. But I got a lot of nos. I got a lot of rejections. I got ghosted a lot. A lot of people just didn't reply to my pitches, but I got one really important yes. And one podcast that had millions of listeners actually replied, replied, and they said, you know what? Yeah, we'd love to feature you. 'Come on the show.' And so I was like, 'Okay, I guess I'm going on the show. I gotta get ready.' And so we recorded this episode. It was like January of 2020. It was like New Year's time. So we were talking about intention setting and mindfulness and my journaling practices and manifestation and becoming the creator of your reality and some of the things that we're talking about today. And that episode ended up airing a couple of months later in March of 2020. And so if we remember what was happening in March of 2020, this was such a serendipitous moment for me in my career because that episode went live to an audience of millions of people at the exact right moment in time that so many people were waking up and looking for these tools and looking to take themselves on a personal growth journey of some kind, because we were all getting locked down, stuck in our houses, being sent home from work. Um, and a lot of people were, starting to get really curious about their purpose in life, about their direction. We were bored, so we were watching more TV. We were listening to more podcasts. And so it all just kind of happened in this like beautiful way. And it really changed a lot in my business because it brought a ton more people into my audience and it brought me tens of thousands of dollars in client acquisitions. And it gave me, opened the door for a lot of opportunities moving forward. Kirsten, who's here doing video, she heard that podcast. That's how she got into my world. She took one of my programs and now we work together and she follows me around and films all of our stuff. So it did definitely had a big impact and it brought some of my like lifelong clients into my life. I also think my assistant Lori, who you guys have been in communication with, she heard that episode. That's how she found me. And then we worked together for years and now she works for me. So it changed a lot, right? But it only happened because I was willing to get rejected. I was willing to suck. I was really willing to look silly and put myself out there and say, hey, do you want to feature me? Most people were like, no. And I was like, I get it. And so as we kind of continue today, we're going to be talking about manifesting your top-tier life and career, whatever that's going to look like for you. And what you have to understand is that it's going to require a couple of things from you. So we're going to cover 5 things. Changing your thoughts, adopting a new identity, protecting your energy, finding expanders, and making bigger moves. So I'm going to kind of take you through these 5 things really quickly, what they look like. I'm going to give you some tools and some resources. Maybe something will spark an idea for you or some inspiration. At least that's my hope for today. But first, I just want to preface by saying that manifestation is not, you know, passive optimism. It's not wishful thinking. It's not hoping and waiting. It's not toxic toxic positivity. It's not journaling, it's not meditating, it's not praying, it's not casting spells. Some of these things are tools that we can utilize in the process of manifesting, but they are not manifesting itself. So manifestation in its simplest form is the understanding that thoughts become things. And so that's why it's so important where we start whenever we're trying to create a new result for ourselves in any area of our life. We start by changing our thoughts. Why is this important? Because as humans, we have about 60,000 thoughts a day. 80% of those thoughts are statistically negative. It's a lot of negative thoughts. 95% of those 60,000 thoughts are repeated, which means we are just rinsing and repeating a whole lot of negative thoughts from the day before and the day before and the day before. Which is why if you've ever tried to change a habit or a pattern in your life, or you tried to become a new version of yourself, it lasts for a little while, but then it doesn't really stick. Stick because we're in this cycle of continuing to teach ourselves through our thoughts to be the same version that we are right now. So your thoughts are the things that influence your feelings and emotions, and what you think and feel most often is what is going to create those belief systems that you hold deeply in your subconscious. And your thoughts and your feelings and your beliefs are the things that are gonna dictate how you act and behave and show up in the world. And all of that together creates your personality, how you present yourself and how you show up. And that informs your identity, which is who you see yourself to be and the stories that you tell yourself and your self-concept. And how you see yourself and your self-concept then influences your thoughts and, and then it just keeps going. And so we're in this cycle. So if we wanna create change, we start by changing our thoughts. And these two quotes just really illustrate the importance of that. I love them both. We are the stories that we tell ourselves. And we don't see things as they are. We see them as we are. And so if you want to change your perception of the world or yourself or your potential, you first have to start with how you view you. So the good news for us is that neuroscience at this point has proven that we can change our brains and our our physical bodies just by thinking differently. There's a lot of cool research around this. There's one study which I'm probably going to butcher it because I didn't include it, but they've done studies where they've, you know, had a group that's doing exercise and a group that's actually just visualizing and practicing to do exercise in their mind. And what they found is that they receive almost the same amount of change to their muscle mass. I think it was like 24% increase in muscle mass in the visualization group and 28% muscle mass gain in the actual exercising group. So it's really crazy how powerful our minds are. So I want to share with you two tools today that can help you as you go on this journey of changing your thoughts. The first is reframing. So if any of you are in therapy, you probably do a lot of reframing. So that's great. And this is the— what I'm going to put here on the screen for you is just my kind of simple reframing formula. It's really easy to use. It'll take you 10 seconds, but it requires that you have a certain level of awareness and that you start to become aware of the thoughts that you're thinking that actually are not of service to the future version of yourself that you want to become. So when you catch yourself having like a negative thought, or it's a thought that is not going to help you actually step into that new version of who you want to be, you just pause really quickly in your mind, takes 10 seconds, and you say, I forgive myself for thinking insert whatever unhelpful negative thought. I choose to believe that. And then insert a more helpful, more beautiful, more empowering thought that you would like to start adopting. So when I was going on my journey, I did this, I did this all the time. I was like getting the metro at work, like walking through the streets, like, shit, forgive myself for thinking. I choose to believe that. So you can do it all the time because it requires nothing. You don't need to write anything down. It's a super easy practice, but the more that you do it, repetition is so important for actually changing the thought patterns and wiring new neural pathways in your brain. So you can't just do it once. You have to be committed and you kind of just keep doing it, but eventually you'll realize that you don't really need to do it that much anymore, which is cool. So the second tool is meditation. Anyone a meditator? Anyone like meditation? Awesome, cool. So meditation is really just about becoming the observer of your mind. And releasing any judgment around your thoughts. I think what stops a lot of people from meditating is they feel like it's hard because they feel like they're supposed to not be thinking anything, or that it's about not having thoughts, or just, you know, creating cloud and space in your mind. But that's not actually what meditation is. Meditation is, is about you just becoming the observer of your thoughts. So you sit in silence and in curiosity of when you actually are just quiet with yourself, what do you notice is coming up? What do you notice that you think about? What are the worries? Are you thinking about work? Are you thinking about what you need to make for dinner? Like, and just actually witnessing and noticing and letting the thoughts pass rather than engaging with them and trying to go further down the rabbit hole that the thought is tempting you with, right? So I'd encourage all of you, if you wanna get back on the horse or try again with meditation, it's a really beautiful practice. And then you can get curious and just ask yourself these questions, which are really helpful for your own growth journey too, of like, what am I making this mean about me? Sometimes we have thoughts about, you know, people in our lives, or there was a situation or someone said something, and then we're like, oh, this really offended me because of that. But we get to question and ask ourselves, what am I making this mean about me? Why is this charged for me, right? Why am I pouring energy into this? Is this absolutely true? Or is there some better thought that I could choose instead? So once we kind of go on that path of changing our thoughts, we get to step 2, which is all about adopting a new identity. And I want you to really hear me when I say this: you will never outwork your identity. And what that means is there is no amount of work ethic, hustle, struggle, pushing, or forcing that is going to take you beyond who you believe yourself to be right now. Today, there is no amount of work ethic that can surpass who you believe that you are and what you believe is possible for you. So if you want to get further, you have to change your identity. And this means we have to stop existing as a reaction to the world and we have to stop existing as a perpetuation of our past, which is really important because we all have things, we all have family dynamics, we all have traumas, we all have stuff. But if we really want to change our potential and our future, we have to stop existing as a reaction to those things or as a perpetuation of the past of what we've experienced before. And we get to choose to be someone new at any time. Truly, this is a choice that we wake up with every single day. You could choose to be a new version of yourself at any moment in time. And so if you'd like to go deeper into this concept of like adopting a new identity and really changing that for yourself, I just wanted to share some book recommendations with you guys. The first one is Personality Isn't Permanent by Benjamin Hardy. This is an incredible book all about how personality is actually not fixed and it's quite malleable and flexible and we can change it rather quickly when we have the right tools. And the second one is Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself by Dr. Joe Dispenza. And this is all about breaking out of those past patterns of who you have practiced being, who you have inadvertently taught yourself to be, and that you can actually change that. So a tool when we're talking about adopting a new identity that's really useful is mental rehearsal, because this can help improve your performance. It can strengthen those new neural pathways. And it can increase your confidence, which you're going to need when you start taking risks and stepping outside of your comfort zone and being a brand new bitch, right? So I want you to try something with me. If you could all just stand up in, just in, in place where you are. We're not gonna do anything crazy. So I'm just gonna have you all lift your right arm and point your pointer finger directly at me. So everyone just point at me. Awesome. Cool. So I'm going to do it with you. So what we're going to do is we're just going to see how far we can point to the back. So you're going to drag your finger across the front wall and the side wall and then all the way to the back wall and see how far around you can twist. And once you feel like you've gone your fullest extent, you can come back to center. Cool. Okay, so you can put your hands down now. Stay standing. We're just gonna close our eyes for a quick second. So you can start with me closing your eyes. And I want you to imagine that we're gonna do that same exercise again, but this time you're not going to do it physically. You're just going to see it happening in your mind. So start picturing that now. You're in your mind, you're lifting up your arm, you're pointing your finger at me. And then you're starting to turn and twist around to the side wall and the back wall, but this time your torso and your spine is like rubber, it's like putty. It can just go and go and go and go. So you twist all the way around to the other wall where the windows are, and then you're all the way 360-degree turn pointing back at me, and just picturing this in your mind as if you're just spinning around effortlessly. Round and round, you have no limit. Cool, you can open your eyes. And we're just gonna do it again, same thing. So we're actually gonna physically do it this time. So lift your arm, point at me, and then see how far you can go. See how far back you can get. See if you can get farther than you went before. Cool. Awesome. You can sit down. So raise your hand if you feel like you were able to go at least 20 to 30% farther the second time. Yeah. So what we just experienced is the power of mental rehearsal, right? So mental rehearsal is a technique where you visualize or you imagine yourself performing a skill or achieving something or living a certain lifestyle, and you practice it in your mind. And the reason why this is so powerful is because the brain cannot actually differentiate between the vivid mental imagery that we're creating when we imagine it and an actual physical experience of if that was happening in our real lives. The same neural pathways and changes are happening in our brain whether we're imagining it to be true or if it's actually happening to us. So side note, this is why things like horror films and like scary stuff and like trauma and like all of that— if you're seeing it, your body's feeling it like it's real. So what we're doing when we practice visualization or mental rehearsal in this way is we're actually encoding the memories of the future into our minds and our bodies. Which is going to make it so much more accessible for us to show up as that new identity and actually take the actions and the behaviors that are required to get wherever we're trying to go. So if you want to know what the first step is, step 1 to adopting a new identity is to decide, simply decide what your life is going to look like, who you're going to be from this point forward, the changes that you're going to make. The decision is sometimes the most impactful part. And there's an incredible book, it's called The Secrets of the Millionaire Mind by T. Harv Eker. And I remember I first read this book when I was like 24, and I was living in Spain at the time. I didn't have a business yet, so I was still teaching English in the schools. I was not making good money. There was a lot of months where I was barely making ends meet, but I was living the dream in Europe. And I knew that I wanted to create something bigger for my life. And I was starting to have some of the inspiration. Maybe I could create something. Maybe I could actually be somebody. And so I'm reading this book about the Secrets of the Millionaire Mind. And there's an exercise in the book that requires you to write down the age at which you will make your first million dollars. And at the time, right, I'm 24. I'm pretty broke. I am living in a foreign country where I the only job I can really do is teach English, but I have this dream that I'm going to create something somehow. And I felt so overwhelmed by that exercise because $1 million felt like this inconceivable amount of money. And I'm like, oh my gosh, I have to decide exactly what age by which I feel so like boxed in. But my intuition was telling me 30 because maybe, maybe it felt sexy, like $1 million by 30. I don't know. But the intuition was saying 30. But I was like, I don't know if I can do that. I was counting on my fingers. It's only 6 years. I don't know if it's enough time. Am I going to be able to do that? So I compromised with myself and I said, okay, 31. I'll just say 31. So I wrote it in my notebook. I make my first million dollars by 31. I close the notebook and I move on with my life. I don't really look at it ever again or I didn't really think about it very often. I didn't really do much other than continue following my path and taking the action steps. But in 2023, my company crossed 7 figures. So we made our first million dollars in revenue. And I realized that if I would've stuck with that intuitive feeling of saying a million dollars by 30, I would've beat that goal by just about 90 days. And so what's really incredible is that Sometimes the most powerful part is the decision. And you, maybe you don't need all these complicated rituals and habits and things, but if you simply decide something for yourself, there's a moment that happens where you anchor it in and you're like, I actually am choosing to believe that this is possible for me. And so then it, it does, it becomes possible, right? So moving on to step 3 of the process, protecting your energy. So a lot of us, when we think about manifestation, we'll think about the law of attraction, right? And like attracts like and having to raise your vibration so that you can be a match for these things that you want to attract into your life. And while all of that is true, and we'll talk about it in a second, I really think that for most people, we need to subtract much more than we need to add, at least at the start. And so it's less about, you know, adding all these crazy like habits and rituals, and it's more about releasing the dead weight. Trimming the fat, getting rid of the stuff that's weighing us down so that we can elevate. And so this involves being mindful about the negativity that you consume and that you partake in, which includes a whole host of things. But some of the common ones are like complaining, drama, gossip, horror, true crime— sorry for the true crime girlies— graphic news. It doesn't mean that like that we can't engage with any of this stuff ever again, But it just means that we get to choose to reduce the toxic load of the negativity in our lives and actually just be honest with ourselves about where that stuff is coming from and where we can make some changes so that we're limiting it. It's going to involve setting boundaries with the energy vampires in your life. We all have them. There's a lot of people that we engage with on a day-to-day basis that the relationships aren't totally reciprocal. There's always people that want to take, take, take. Or they want you to be a certain version of yourself that is not authentic to who you are, and that's really draining for you. And it's just about that radical honesty of really recognizing who those people are for you in your life and being willing to set the boundaries with them. It doesn't mean you need to cut people out of your life, although if that is the most healing choice for you because of whatever is going on, then I totally support that. But also it can just mean like limiting the amount of time that you give those people and also limiting the amount of personal information that you share with people like that. And the last thing here is like learning how to say no, right? Which I know, especially as women, we, we really struggle with. Men seem to be a little bit better at it, but we can kind of get stuck in that people-pleasing archetype. So learning to say no, you don't have to go to every event and everything and be the yes person and, you know, help every single person every single time. We can say no. So once we've done this work of kind of like trimming the fat, releasing the dead weight, getting rid of some of that stuff that's dragging our energy down, then we can actually think about what's going to help us rise even more beyond that, which is where we get into the map of consciousness and raising our frequency. So when we talk about raising our frequency, these are all things that can help you with that. But there's of course so many more, but gratitude, mindfulness, being in nature, exercising, practicing kindness, affirmations, music, dance, all of these things help you actually raise your energetic frequency. And so as you can see on the screen, we have the map of consciousness, which was originally developed by Dr. David R. Hawkins. And down at the bottom, you have these lower levels of consciousness or these lower vibrations. It's actually just this full-on representation of the measurements of our energetic states and the emotions that are connected to them. So at the bottom of the map of consciousness, we have things like shame, guilt, apathy, grief, fear, desire, anger. And this is what is called the survival paradigm. And unfortunately, this is where most humans will spend the majority of their life, in the survival paradigm. Occasionally they will, you know, rise up into feelings of courage or neutrality or acceptance or love, But for the most part, most people will exist in the survival paradigm. And when you get higher up onto the map of consciousness, you have things like enlightenment, peace, joy, love, reason. And this is the spiritual paradigm. And so our journey as humans and as people that want to raise our frequency and manifest incredible miracles and opportunities and prosperity in our lives is to find a way to continue to rise on this map of consciousness and to raise our frequency, which is why things like this are going to be really supportive for you. So step 4 is about finding your expanders. Does anyone know what an expander is? Have you heard this term before? No. Okay, cool. So expanders are really just people that are the living proof that what you desire out of your life or your career already exists, right? It's about seeing to believe. And this is why diversity and inclusion is really important, because we know that the retina is the first point of access to the subconscious mind. So it helps us actually truly anchor in beliefs when we can see something. If you're a logical thinker, if you like science, if you like facts, you'll probably resonate with that. Like, if I can see it, I'm willing to believe it, right? And of course, there's so much power in being willing to believe in the unseen, but seeing to believe is extremely powerful, especially when it comes to our goals and our aspirations for our life. So the best way to believe that something is possible is to find proof, right? That it already exists. And so when you see a woman or someone that, you know, has this lifestyle or they have this career or they have these beautiful relationships or, you know, they're really healthy or they're living in a way that you admire, one of two things can happen. We can get jealous or we can get inspired because jealousy is just the shadow side of inspiration. And so if you see someone who has something that you want, whether it's like something as trivial as like, you know, a luxury car, or it's something as, you know, profound and deep as them being a really present mother or, you know, having the family that you dream of. Either way, we get to make a really important choice is do I wanna see this as a reason for me to get jealous? Or do I want to see this as a reason for me to get inspired? And so when you find those people that have what you want, the idea of expanders is like, get as close to them as possible. And instead of saying, oh, she's so lucky, or oh my gosh, wouldn't that be nice? Instead, we get to pull up a chair and get curious and say, how did you do that? Can I learn from you? And I know that mentorship is a cultural value here at Abercrombie, so I would just say like lean into that. Find your mentors that are having and doing and being the example of what you want to create out of your life and get close to them and learn from them and get curious. I know that I would not be where I am today in every single facet of my life without my mentors. They have completely expanded my realm of possibility of what I believed was available to someone like me. I would have never thought that I could I would never have thought that I would be able to, you know, start my own business or make this kind of revenue or, you know, be a mom someday while being an entrepreneur. I have so many mentors that expand me in that way that it's possible to have both and to juggle that, or the impact even, like being able to touch hundreds, if not thousands of lives. I would've never thought that that would've been possible if I didn't see women who were already doing it. Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, It can achieve. Super old dude, so he knew what was up. So it just reiterates why this is important of changing your thoughts, adopting a new identity, protecting your energy, raising your frequency. If you can actually conceive and believe of something, you will achieve it. And so the fifth and final step that we're gonna talk about today is about making bigger moves. And I really just want this to be a permission slip for everyone in the room and online today of getting out there and taking risks and taking bolder action in your lives, in your relationships, in your health, whatever it is that you are desiring. Because if you always do what you've always done, you're always gonna get what you always got, right? So we have to actually do something different and start acting as that future version of ourselves who already has it. So see yourself as that future identity who has the life, the career, the family, the health, the wealth, the success, the fulfillment, whatever it is that you're seeking. Start acting from that place. What would she do? How would she show up? What would she prioritize? And act from that place. And I think the biggest thing that holds people back with this idea of taking bold action, or like taking a big risk, or stepping outside their comfort zone, is they feel like they need to see all of the steps before they can actually go and do that. But But it doesn't really work like that because people think, oh, once I have the clarity and I know, okay, if I, if I make this career move, then it will lead me to that, and then I'll be able to get to this and then to that. But clarity is actually born from taking action, right? So it's the exact reverse of what we're trying to do. You're never gonna be able to know steps A to Z or steps 1 to 1,000 of your journey. You actually have to just be willing to take step 1 and trust that step 2 will appear. And that's how it works, right? I would have never been able to conceive of this whole, you know, career change for me and becoming an entrepreneur, building a business, starting a podcast, all of these things, if I was stuck on needing all the clarity before I took step 1, right? Step 1, all I knew at the time was I need to follow my heart, I need to do what I feel is right, I need to get on this plane, and I need to get back to Spain. I would have never been able to see all the steps laid out in front of me. And so taking bold action requires that you move blind, and that is the definition of faith, right? So walking in faith is not, oh, I can see how this is going to affect me and how it's all going to work out and the end is going to turn out exactly as I hoped. No, faith is going, this feels right and I have no idea what's going to happen. Stepping out on the limb, step one. And when you take step 1, step 2 appears and you're like, okay, I guess this is step 2 and so on and so forth. And when you live in that way, what's gonna happen is one day you're gonna wake up and you're gonna be living inside of your dream life. And you'll realize that everything that you used to pray for is now your reality. So I'll leave you with one last final thought. I say this often, scarcity, Loves safety, but success loves risk. So if you are continuously wanting to pursue the safest options in your life, you will be stuck in an energetic frequency of scarcity and of lack. But if you want to create success, whatever that looks like for you, right? Success for me is a lot about time freedom and relationships and experiences and joy and being able to take care of my family, like we were talking about earlier, whatever success means for you, risk is going to be required. Always. Point blank, period. Finished. And so the biggest risk is not taking any risk at all. So I hope after today, if there's something that inspired you or is encouraging you to be a better version of yourself, whatever that looks like, go out in the world, be bold, take up space, use your voices, advocate for what you think is important. Follow your heart and make shift happen. That's all. Thank you guys. This is— I just, I wanted to take a moment to thank Amy, Alexis, Alexis, Danielle, Sam, obviously who's not here, and, and Stephanie. Just everyone who was part of bringing this to life and getting this whole experience to happen. Thank you guys so much. I feel really Honored to be here. Such a joy to hang out with you guys and talk about all of my favorite things. Thank you guys. Thank you. Thank you.