The Dark Side of Ambition: When Money Is Your Master You’ll Always Be A Slave

What's up, you guys? Welcome back to the podcast.

In this week's episode, you're about to hear a conversation that I originally recorded for one of my long-term clients' podcasts. And honestly, it is one of the more revealing looks into my business that I've shared publicly. We went straight into the real stuff, the pressure, the pace, and the moment that I realized money had quietly started running my life. We talk about the financial betrayal that cracked open my soft CEO era, the emotional crash that followed my biggest year in business, and the uncomfortable truth about stamina, perfectionism, and success that no one really prepares you for. So if you've ever wondered why I rebuilt the way I work, why I took Fridays off for an entire year, this conversation really tells the whole backstory. So inside we get into why I invited my clients into my home and the power of real proximity, the achiever's curse, burnout cycles and ambition's double-edged sword, the money lesson that opened my eyes in such a big way. Why balance is a myth, how to stay ahead of the market without abandoning what lights you up, the truth about industry trends, one-to-one coaching, and being a secure CEO, and the loneliness of hitting huge milestones that no one warns you about. This episode is honest, it's nuanced, and it's gonna give you a very real look at what success costs you, what it gives you back, and why spaciousness is always going to win in my book. So let's dive in.

Welcome to the Makeshift Happen podcast.

I'm your host, Samantha Daly, entrepreneur, life coach, and your no BS bestie, here to bring you all things mindset, manifestation, and personal development.

This podcast is designed to help you expand your mind and uplevel your life.

So turn the volume up and roll the windows down if you're coming along for the ride. Let's go make shit happen.

Hi Sam, thank you so much for being on the Building Her podcast. I'm freaking out over here and I just know it's gonna be the most epic conversation.

So thank you. Oh my gosh, I'm so excited to be here. I love chatting with you. As we just talked about, we could chat all day long. So you're a soul sister. So Let's dive in.

Thank you. And yes, I get to see you again in 2 weeks in Miami. I'm so excited for that. We just talked about on your podcast one of the fondest memories that we've had together, and yours was top tier with the Black Friday deals that we put together. And I had mentioned that I was so touched and moved by you inviting us into your home. I have worked with other coaches previously and no one has ever done that, and Today in our very digital landscape, it is so profound to have someone do that, especially a mentor and a coach. So my first question right off the bat for you is, what inspired you to do that? Because it is so different than what you typically receive in a coaching program.

So it came from a couple of different things. One of the things was I knew if I was gonna have you guys here for the immersion, like locally, that it would just be a possibility that you could come over and be invited into my home. So because I was— because normally when I do retreats, I'll do them like other places, like I've done them in the Dominican Republic and places like outside the country and such. So this was the first time that I was really doing a kind of retreat, I guess you could call it, in a way, where it was going to be locally, like in my town, in my neighborhood. So I just kind of thought, wouldn't that be cool if they could come over? But it's obviously not feasible for all 12 or 13 of us, or however many people there were, to sleep and stay in my house. I have a 2-bedroom condo here, so that we wouldn't be staying here. But then also when I started to look at, you know, okay, obviously we're going to stay in a hotel for the majority of the experience. Hotel check-ins are like so late in the day, and I was like, well, if they came over, then we could start earlier and we could have more time together. And so why not just, you know, bring them over to the house and we'll do some stuff here, and then we could walk on the beach because it's right across the street. And so it just kind of like worked out nice nicely in that way. And I felt like it was— I wanted to invite you guys over, and I feel like it's a nice personal touch. I think it's part of knowing what the people want, you know what I mean? Then we would love to be able to see, you know, your home. And you watch me like do these videos in this like guest room all the time, and it's kind of like surreal and fun and weird to come in here and put your suitcase and be like, oh, like, this is the room. That's, that's just kind of fun, like, to be able to meet my dog and meet my fiancé. And yeah, I think there were really nice like personal touches. And I wanted to do that because of how much depth there was inside of that space and how close we all got. It felt like it was an appropriate thing to do, and it's not something that I would do for every, you know, course or group, but it was such a tight-knit group and we, we built kind of a little family within that. So it felt, it felt right.

Yeah, I love that. And I mean, that's one of the things that I love about you. You always do everything different. That's what I've noticed about you. I mean, we've, gosh, We worked together, I signed up for Burnt Out to Badass February 2023, I believe. And so I've been with you for quite some time. What happens when you work with someone for so long, you start to see patterns and ways of working and operating. And that's one of the things that I've noticed is you're always thinking, how can I make this different? How can I make this mine? And I really respect that about you because I tend to still fall into the thinking of, Well, what is like normal and what is accepted by the coaching industry? How does it always work? And I think that gives me a sense of safety, but you're like, fuck that. How do I stand out?

Why not just invite them over to my house?

Like, just fuck around and find out. So I love that about you. There's something else that I've really admired about you. Again, working with you now for so long, what I've seen is that you just don't stop. You just keep going. And a lot of people can't say that. I think there's some coaches that I've seen, maybe when I first started, they've fallen off or they changed their mind. And while that's not a bad thing— people can always change their mind— it's just something I really admire about you because this is a long haul. This is a long game for you. So my question for you is, what is thing, or maybe there's multiple, that keeps you going, that keeps you hungry, that keeps the drive there? Like, what is it?

What is wrong with you?

Uh, another way to put it.

Yes. Yeah, no, it's a, a really valid question. I think a lot of people who are high achievers have to ask themselves that question at some point, is like, what is driving me to work so hard and to care so much and to keep pushing and to never quit and always overcome the excuses and whatever? And I think for a lot of people it does come down to a certain level of, I guess, like a, like a personality trait that maybe is born out of, I guess you could say, like a childhood trauma of some sort. Like a lot of times people are pushing really hard because they're trying to prove, whether it's to themselves or to the world in some way. And so I've, I've found that question like fascinating for myself as well because I'm like, what is wrong with me? Like, why do I literally, not in the bad way, but it's almost like because if you can find the thing that creates that constant, almost like eternal flame that never goes out, you could understand more about how you could help other people create that or find that or leverage that or build that. Or is it something that is innate and can't be taught? And so you just need to adjust your messaging for the people that you're calling into your world to find those right people. So it is a really interesting question. I don't think I've found the exact answer because I think a part of what has made me so successful and has allowed me to have as much stamina, I guess is a good word that we could talk about, to speak to what you're kind of saying here, if you just don't stop. I think it's something that I've like always had in a way. Like I was always an overachiever in, in all things, and maybe that comes from a bit of an anxiety in something. Like I do, I have always felt like I've been in a rush, which is why I've had to learn myself that this isn't a rush. And I always tell you guys that it's your life's work. Because why do I tell you that? Because I have to tell myself that all the time, because I know what that feeling is like of having to hustle and work, and it's like it has to be now and it all has to be— I know how overwhelming that feeling can be, and it actually doesn't have to be like that. But it's something that I have to actively remind myself of and practice, because I've pretty much always been in a rush. I've always done more than what was asked of me. I've always been a star student, straight A's. I remember as a kid, like, trying to just, like, circle random answers on the homework assignment because who cares, like, just get it done. And I physically couldn't do it. I was like, I can't. So there is a part of my innate personality that's like the perfectionist, and those are things that I have to work through. But at the same time, I've also recognized how it's massively served me, right? Someone who really values, like, hard work and pushing my limits and having the stamina and never quitting and overcoming my own excuses and being a person who pays attention to the details and is a little bit of a perfectionist, like, those things have done really great things for me in a lot of ways.

I love what you just said about the eternal flame. I resonate with that so deeply because, like, my flame, it's not flickering. It's anything It's just getting bigger, especially now in motherhood, because I feel like I'm so much more capable of anything that I want. To your point too, about perhaps childhood trauma, I think maybe that's where my motivation stemmed from. Just my mom was a stay-at-home mom of 3 kids, did a fantastic job, but that's where I equated. I never wanna be a just a stay-at-home mom, and I've removed that word now, just because Oh my gosh, more power to you if you're a stay-at-home mom. But that, and then also my dad never giving us like, good job, I'm proud of you. So we never, we never felt like we were good enough. Now, years later, I'm addicted to personal development because once you do it long enough, you're like, oh my gosh, anything is possible. Because you set a goal, you hit the goal, it's okay, what's next? And I can see how people just continue on this path, sometimes to their own detriment, if they can't stop. Do you feel like you have gone through periods of that time to then see, ooh, this is not how I want to operate? Or is that something you're currently going through? What has that been like?

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Yeah, I think it's a double-edged sword for sure. Tony Robbins calls it like the Achievers, the High Achievers Curse or the Achievers Curse, something like that. Because it's like I was saying, all the things that made me successful are also things that can burn you out or keep you in chronic stress. And all the things that allow you to keep going are the things that, you know, could make you glaze over real problems in your life or just work through stuff, push through stuff, or lose out on time with people in your life that really matter. Like it could prevent you from really having your priorities straight. So it's, it's tough because a lot of the traits that make someone really wildly successful are also traits that could be detrimental if they're taken too far. And you see that play out, you know, with some of the world's most successful individuals. If we're measuring success by, you know, global impact and like numbers in terms of like sales and billions of dollars and all those things, if you look at the giants, like, they're kind of fucked up, you know what I mean? In order to be that successful, you kind of have to have a problem in some way. Like, you look at like creators like MrBeast, like, he even says it. He's like, I wouldn't recommend my lifestyle to anybody. That's awful. He's like, I do is work. It's a sickness. You look at people like Elon Musk or Jeff Bezos or any of those people, it's— and even like Steve Jobs, and people talk about him and how awful he was and like think the traits of his personality. And it's, yeah, sometimes the, the traits that are really compatible with like super crazy levels of success are incompatible with a truly like peaceful life or like a slower pace or having your priorities with like your family and your kids. And so It is definitely this like double-edged sword. Not to say that I feel like I've ever swung that far over into the extremes, but there's definitely been times over the years where I've felt like I'm doing the most, do you know what I mean? And maybe I need to do a little bit less. And so one of those times was the end of 2023, actually. That year was just so huge for me in, in business, especially I hit a million downloads on the podcast, a million dollars in the business. That was the year that we launched Top Tier. So brand new programs, big high-ticket masterminds, like a lot of new things. I ran 2 retreats at the end of the year. It was just, I, I felt like I got to the end of the year. It was like running a marathon. Like I made it to the finish line, but once I crossed, like I, I, I crossed the finish line running, but once I crossed, I was like, oh my God, now I need to sleep for a month. You know? Yeah. So I kind of had a feeling of just exhaustion of the pace that I was moving at. And we also had some personal things go on at the end of that year where we trusted someone with investments and large amounts of money were stolen from us. And it was really traumatic, especially for Jaime, because it was something that he was working on and he felt responsible. And our family members were involved and a lot of people lost a lot of money, ourselves included. But it was just really devastating and a really hard time emotionally and like mindset-wise to not just from the financial lens for sure, but like I knew that I could make money back. It was more like watching your partner go through something that's really devastating their confidence, and you can tell that they are in shame and guilt and embarrassment. And yeah, it was tough. And it was the early years of us being in the U.S. because we had lived in Spain for 6 years and we moved in 2022. And so 2023 was like our first full year living in Florida, and my partner was really adjusting, having to adjust to a whole new life and culture and career, and he really had to start over at that point because he was a lawyer in Spain. And so he had to reinvent himself here in America and pursue a whole new career. And there was a lot of identity shifts for him. And I think me being the breadwinner and also trying to hold space, but knowing that he was struggling a lot mentally, and then having that big kind of explosion moment happen at the end of the year, right while I was running my second retreat in a row within a 60-day time span, and all of the running truly that I had been doing that year. That was the year also I had my first 6-figure month. I mean, it was such an explosive year, but it was like there was so much like energy and pressure that there had to be like an explosion at the end.

It's almost—

it was like a volcano like building, and at the end of the year it was like, wow, okay, and we need to chill the fuck out a little bit. And so that was the inspiration for kind of, you know, calling 2024 my soft CEO season. Where it wasn't like I was stepping back from my work in any ways because I still did everything that I said I was going to do and ran all my programs and did my launches. But it was really like delegating more and being more, I guess, precise and protective with my time and my calendar and taking Fridays off for the entire year, which was a huge challenge for me. And just like really trying to optimize what I could do in less time. But I was almost trying to manufacture the experience that you had after having a baby, which is if I just told myself that I only I have 4 days a week instead of 5, like what would happen and would I just figure it the fuck out? And so it was trying to, yeah, I brought on another team member and then just really trying to reinvent my launches also and do them in a different way that didn't require as much, you know, crazy like big crescendo moments of huge energy expenditures of these massive, you know, 1,000 people masterclasses and 10 days of free business coaching after. I mean, I was doing crazy things in 2023 because I was committed to a goal and I was like, I'll do anything to make it happen. And that served me. But then moving into 2024, I was like, what would happen if we didn't do a masterclass at all? What would happen if I just got creative? And I was like, let's bring clients on and let's do live videos and let's just do different things that are way less of an energy drain and see what happens. And it worked. So for sure, there's been like ebbs and flows, and it's forced me to be more creative and resourceful.

First of all, thank you so much for sharing just vulnerably about personal finances and the devastation that happened with Jaime mainly. I think it's so beautiful though, how you were able to operate from it since then, because you just said it was devastating for your family and lost personal finances. And look at what it forced you to do and think differently in your business. You're like, fuck it, I'm taking Fridays off, you know? So it's just so beautiful to witness you go through something like that, but then come out on the other side even stronger and make your business work for you versus the other way around. I think a lot of people would've quit.

Well, what's interesting about that is like you would think, so if you get a bunch of money stolen from you and you're like down and out in a significant way, let's say it wasn't like we had lost our whole net worth or anything like that, but it was a large chunk of money. You would think that like the reaction would be like, okay, well I can make that back. So let me just like work harder. Let me do more. But what I really had to sit with, and, and Jaime and I had lots of conversations about this, because shortly after we traveled to Spain to spend like the Christmas time with his family, and he was just, he was totally not himself. He was in like complete like devastation. But we had to have a lot of conversations about, gosh, what is this trying to teach us? What are the lessons? Like, this sucks. And yes, our trust was betrayed and someone stole from us and that's wrong. And it doesn't mean that this was meant to happen or it was meant to be, but we can do our own work in figuring out how can we grow from this, essentially. What are we gonna do? What are we learning? And so we both kind of like wrote down what we thought some of our biggest lessons were and what we learned from it. And I remember one thing that came to me so clearly during that time was like, if money is your master, you'll always be a slave. And that is also part of the reason why I was like, you know what I'm gonna do next? Not what you think I'm gonna do. Devil knocking on my door. You know what I'm gonna do next? I'm gonna slow down. I'm gonna hire someone. I'm gonna spend more so that I can do less. Like, what a contrarian idea to have when it's, oh, we just lost a bunch of money, I should hustle, I should work more, I should try to make it back, we should, you know, get it together in that kind of go-go mode. And for me to really go, no, actually the real problem here— because the investments that we lost were things that we thought were going to like compound and make money for us, right? So that's kind of where the— if money is always your master, you'll 'You'll always be a slave' came from. It's, well, what were we hoping to get from that? Well, we thought we were getting rich from those investments and that person that we were trusting. Meanwhile, we were being stolen from the entire time. But it's like we were getting really excited about the compound of those investments and how much money it was going to make.

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You know, the excitement of what is this going to do for us and how— what is— how is it going to impact our life? And, and so it was like, wow, yeah, like money was actually becoming a master in some ways. And when, when that is the case, you will always be a slave. And so I felt that it was personally important for me to do the exact opposite of what that energy would want to have you do. I was like, actually, I won't be a slave to money. So I'm decidedly saying that this year I will make less money and I'll be okay with it because you don't control me. And it's interesting what that actually did for me was I ended up making more money that year than I had the previous year, which was wild because I did easier, more, more flowy like launches that felt less energy draining, but When I tell people about this, I'm like, what's really important is that you cannot manufacture this energy. You cannot say, oh, it's okay if I have— if I get less followers when I'm posting this way, or it's okay if I make less money because I want to do this, and then be mad if that's the reality of the situation. Like, you actually have to be committed to, no, I'm gonna get less traction, I'm gonna get less followers, or I'm gonna make less money, or I'm gonna get less downloads, or whatever it is. If you're making a pointed decision of doing something in a specific way because it's important to you based on your values or your priorities or whatever, you can't then be secretly hoping in the background, but maybe by me pretending to let go of the outcome, maybe I'll get actually the outcome that I wanted, right? Because people will say, as soon as you don't care, it'll come to you. And so I think sometimes people try to manufacture this energy of, oh, it's okay if it doesn't work, or I don't care if I don't get the result. But like in the background, even if it's subconscious, you're kind of thinking, if I like pretend to let go, maybe like everything will come to me, right? So I really had to like be super genuine in going into it, saying, this is my soft CEO era. I'm going to figure out how to liberate more of my time, how to enjoy the process of this more, how to do things in a less energy— energetically draining way, how to invest more money into help and support so that I can have more free time, take Fridays off, do all this stuff to kind of like cut my schedule. And in doing so, I'm fully prepared and aware and planning for the fact that I will make less money. And I had to like literally— like, I was not secretively hoping that like it was gonna, you know, be the thing where it's like, when you try less, you get more. I was like, no, I'm literally like, the math is not mathing. I'm definitely gonna make less money. Ironically, because that was genuine and I was fully open to that and prepared for that, it worked out in the way that I did end up making more. But you can't You can't hear that and then try to manufacture it is the point. You have to genuinely be like prepared to let go.

That's so profound in so many lessons in that one with the money and the financial, I would say awareness that you had, the fact that you even journaled and coached yourself on, okay, what did I learn here from this devastation? And to understand that the way you were looking at money was essentially the master. I, I, that's huge. I think to your point about Elon Musk and MrBeast and how they're like fucking sad and miserable all the time, if they lost a huge chunk of money, I think maybe innately the very human experience is fear, is scarcity, perhaps image. And so it's, I gotta go make more money. But for you to essentially call yourself out and be like, no bitch, we're gonna do the exact opposite is is so, so huge, which just makes me think of why you're again so successful as just a business owner and the self-trust and the self-belief that you have to have and the different choices that you have to make to operate a little differently. Because I think we're so hit with mainstream media and society and other successful people where it's just go, go, go, money is end-all be-all, You're not successful if your profit margins aren't fat. Like, what about the human experience? What about the ebb and the flow and the feminine and the dance and making a business feel good and feel fun for you? So I, I think for you, you, you've already mentioned some huge milestones that you've hit with the million downloads on your podcast, million revenue in your business. How do you operate from a place of balance, from harmony, from, let's call it, equilibrium? How do you get yourself back there? Is it self-coaching? Is it your own coaching investments? Is it Jaime? Is— what is it? Because so many people listening to this are so afraid to even get started because they think of the doomsday scenarios. What if this? What if that? It's okay.

And Yeah, it's interesting because I've played with this idea of balance for so long. Does balance exist? Not really. So that's the first thing, and you probably can relate to that, especially in motherhood. So how do you balance like motherhood with being a wife, with being a business owner? It's a fucking hodgepodge mess over here, you know what I mean? Not, not that you're a mess, but it's just, it's not as neat and tidy as 50% this and 50% that. And so I think like my acceptance of the fact that life to me moves more in seasons than it does in— I guess I'll say it this way. I think it's more realistic for you to have different seasons in your life than for you to expect that you're going to be equally balanced at all times in your life. So when people think of balance or living a balanced life, they might desire to have equal amounts of time with their family and free time and travel and like all those things that they love, hobbies, whatever. As the time that they spend grinding or hustling or working towards a dream and having a business and making an impact and making lots of money. And then they get upset when they feel like they're not achieving that because those two pieces of the pie are not totally equal. And it only gets more complex when you add more and more pieces of the pie, right? When you become a mother, when you have children to take care of, when you play a role to a lot of other people in your life, and you have aspirations when it comes to your own, like, health and fitness. And so there's, there's all these pieces of the pie, and it's like, how much of a juggling act is that to try to make all those pieces of the pie always be even? Like, what? That is probably never going to happen. And so I think we're always going to be disappointed or feel like we're missing something if we think that that's like what balance is supposed to look like in our life. When much more realistically, it's, well, what season am I in right now? And you know, I'm like a big fan of labeling my eras and kind of like moving through life in, in eras. Shout out Taylor Swift. So it's been a helpful approach to me because if you know that you're in a certain season, like last year, let's say you're about to give birth, you know, you're going into postpartum, you're going to have a new baby. Like, you have such a different set of priorities and expectations and hopes and plans for that season than you would, you know, the year prior when you were like really going hard in your business and rolling out a bunch of things and in masterminds and doing all this stuff. And so you feel a lot more fulfilled and aligned, let's say, because you've already had a realistic vision of what is available for you, what your capacity is in this particular season, and not constantly being disappointed by looking at what other people are doing and thinking, oh, I should be going harder, or, oh, look at how easy and peaceful and flowy her life looks like, so I must be doing something wrong that I'm working so hard. It's no, what is the season that you're in? What did you decide that this year was gonna be about? What are you committed to? What are your priorities? Align with that. Ignore what everyone else is doing and know that seasons are seasons. They always end and there will always be new ones. And so if you are in a season where you wanna hustle and you wanna push and you wanna go hard, like I listen, I love a fat profit margin. No hate on the fat profit margins, right? You can't realistically do that for your entire life or you'll probably burn out or die or get sick. And so it's like honoring the seasonality of those things and understanding that there's gonna be times where you intentionally pull back. From certain things and other seasons where you really, really lean in and go hard. And, and that's kind of how I think about balance in my own life, is just knowing what season and what era I'm in and setting myself up to be in alignment with that and put my blinders on for what everyone else is doing, because those are the temptations that will make you even think that what you're doing is wrong.

Yeah, I love the seasonal approach because, to your point, I'm 11 months postpartum and there's no way that I am going to just skyrocket to the moon right now because one, I'm not, I, that's not even something that I want right now in my business. I'm more of a, a maintenance level, let's call it. And that feels really good for me and also aligned and that matches my values in my business right now. I think what you just said is huge and what everyone needs to hear is that you put your blinders up and you're like, nope, I'm not watching what everyone else is doing, which is so easy to nowadays. And you just move to your own vision, to your own values. You make time to even understand what your values are. With that said, my next question for you really comes, I guess, more of a like macro level, because for as long as you've been in the game, in the coaching industry, there is a reality of industries shifting and changing and what people are doing and what works and what doesn't. Also with the tools that we use, like social media, what's working, what's not. So how do you stay ahead essentially with the ever-changing market and coaching industry, but also staying really focused on what makes you happy and what keeps you going with your blinders up?

Yeah, it's a good question. I think initially the thing that comes to mind for me is like the best way to stay ahead ever is be so yourself that no one else could copy you. Like regardless of what, yeah. Okay. So it's like, what is, what are the hottest social media? What's the trends? Like what style of video content is booming right now?

Sure.

All of that is, I guess, part of being on the cutting edge of what's working or what's not working. But when it comes to staying quote unquote ahead while also honoring your own seasonality and process and where you are, I think the answer to that is just being so yourself. Being so radically who you are, being a character on the internet, like having people really see, feel, and know your personality, which is so much easier said than done. Like, we've talked about this a lot, especially when all of my clients like meet in person. We're like, oh my God, like, we're all so much cooler in person than we are online. Like, how do we bottle this energy that we have when we're all in the room together and put it into like content? It is so hard. I think that's That's the game, and that would be the hack to the question that you're asking. Is if you could be so uniquely you in terms of your personality, your messaging, the way that you show up with your community online, etc., then you'll always be ahead in some way because you're not like anyone else. Yeah, I love that.

Like I said earlier, people buy the person first, then the product. So if you could really show up as the person you are behind the scenes, people will love that because it's your energy and you know, you're so dynamic in your personality and you're sharing that. So it's like the art of being able to showcase that. I think what also came up for me as you were just talking, I saw a post the other day, I don't even remember who it's from, so I should just say I don't know who put this out there. However, the words were, the coaching industry is shifting. People don't want to buy or invest into high-ticket coaching anymore because they don't want like an absent coach. They want more of the membership style. I see a lot of memberships where it's really low ticket, like $40 a month, and then you just get all access and all this stuff. And that made me think, should I go down a membership style product? You know, all that stuff. But to, to, to what you just said, it's externally, can I show who I am and really showcase that? But also internally, can I just stay true to me and what lights me up in the ever-shifting coaching industry? Because for me, as you know, I love one-on-one. I love the relationships. I love the depth of it. I love the intimacy of it. I like group coaching, but it doesn't light me up like one-on-one does. And so when I hear and see people saying one-on-one is fucked, it's, well, dead, it's dead, it's gone. I'm like, actually, I would disagree with that because I am so aware of what lights me up and my client will feel that you're nodding your head. You're like, yes. What do you think about the coaching industry is shifting and one-on-one is dead, so go down to the membership style route?

My first reaction to like when people share opinions like that is, as a marketer myself, I'm like, I see what you're doing there. Let's check out your fucking membership, sister friend. Do you know what I mean?

Are you selling?

There's always— and it's not that that's bad, like we all do that, it's fine. It's just like when you understand marketing, you know how to see through it and not make it mean something crazy about, oh, I'm in the wrong model, it's dying, I need to change. No, this is where it comes really into play, this idea that I talk about of being a secure CEO. Like, being a secure CEO is I know who I am, I know what my priorities are, I know what I like, I know how I like to serve, I know who my client is, I know what I'm doing. I know what I'm doing. And so the first thing that I thought of when you were talking about that, when it was like, oh, people don't want high ticket, I was like, you automatically break that because you have clients that regularly sign with you for 12 months and then they renew for another year and another year. Like, if anyone's breaking the mold on that one person's opinion, it's you and your business. So if you were to like take that to heart and throw all of the context that you already have in your life, in your business, that disproves that out the window, and be like, oh, random Sally McPhee on the internet says that one-on-one coaching— and maybe it was an important person who we think has an important opinion, but regardless, if you were just to disregard what you know to be true about your business, about your community, about your clients, about the results that people get in your spaces with one-on-one, about how how much you love that, about how much people are continuing to invest more and more with you at that level and renew for year after year after year. If you were to throw all that— I'll throw all that out to believe like a tweet or something, it's— is that really secure CEO energy? And so that's like the main thing I think is people— like we're talking about like the blinders on. Like part of that is understanding, being able to see through the marketing of things, recognize, okay, one person's opinion could be their personal experience, but it's not the collective's experience. And sometimes there are definitely shifts in the market. It's not to say like disregard anything that's going on or what anyone ever says, but I do think sometimes people put too much weight on a singular person's opinion because they think that that person knows more than them or is further along than them or is more successful than them. And sometimes even if those people have built something that you might aspire to build, or they've been in the game for longer, they have more experience or they're making more money, or so you go, oh, they, they must know better than me. Still, even then, it's like that person has a totally different paradigm for how and why they're seeing this this way. They have a different life, they have different priorities. Are they a mom? Are they not? Have they ever had one-on-one clients sign for them for 36 months? Like, maybe they never had that experience. And so for them, it's all— that's totally dead, right? So it's like taking everything with a grain of salt and being secure in you knowing who you are. And what you're doing and reaffirming that to yourself quite often. I know what I'm doing. Because it doesn't mean that we can't improve and that we can't be open to like new ideas and new ways and new opinions. Absolutely, you don't want to be so stuck in your ways that you never adapt and change to catch up to the market. But also you can't put too much weight on people's random opinions like that on the internet. Also because a lot of times those type of posts are designed to be contrarian so that they get attention, and that's a really easy marketing tool is to like make everyone think that they have it wrong, make everyone think that there's a big secret that they don't know because then that creates engagement.

Even more reason to keep the blinders on. So Sally McPhee, I will not be listening to you tell us that. I laughed when you said that name. I was like, yes. So earlier you mentioned some of the milestones that you've hit, and I think it was, was it last year where you had your $100K month after your launch? Was it last year or 2023?

2023. Yeah. That big year was was like all the milestones in one year.

Such an incredible milestone to have. And admittedly, you planted the seed for me so that I can also one day get that, because holy shit, that's awesome. But I do also know you've been open just more like behind the scenes of how it felt, like you hit the $100K and that was a goal of yours. And then you had mentioned the loneliness that you had felt during or soon after, I don't remember. So So with the loneliness, I think that's really important for us to talk about as, let's call it, solo entrepreneurs or business owners, because I think the shiny, sexy level that we're all going for is money. And I mentioned earlier the fat profit margins. And while all that is good and fun, what's going on though behind the scenes? One, how you feel, but also like, how are the dynamics shifting in your life, whether whether it's family dynamic, whether it's friendships and, and potentially losing those friendships as you gain more success, because I don't know how many people you were able to share that with. Oh my God, I just hit 100K. So talk to us a little bit more of what happens, at least for you and your journey, with some of those dynamics and, and how have they shifted over the years?

Luckily for me, I feel like there are so many people in my life that I could I could have easily called and been like, "Oh my gosh, like, I'm freaking out. Can't believe this hit this milestone." And they would have been genuinely, like, happy for me. Even, like, friends from, like, high school that I, you know, keep up with here and there but don't talk to on a regular basis. If I really were to call, like, my best friend from high school, let's say, in that moment and be like, "Oh my gosh, I have to tell you something so crazy. I just did this thing," there would be no weird energy at all. Like, they would be be— even if they didn't understand what I did for work or how I did it or whatever, like, they would be happy for me. And I know 100%, like, everyone in my family, my parents, like, they would be over the moon excited, ecstatic for me, proud of me, whatever. So I think what I experienced in that moment was more of like a realization of something like going on within myself that felt like I shouldn't tell people about this, or it's like weird to tell people about this, because it wasn't really that, oh, there's people in my life that they'll get jealous of this, or they'll knock me down for it, or they won't understand, or they won't celebrate me. That wasn't actually true, and that wasn't actually the case, and I didn't feel that way. What I did feel was like, what a fucking weird thing to call someone and say, do you know what I mean? Like, that, that's just how I felt. It was like, I feel like I'm supposed to jump up and down right now and celebrate. And it was interesting because we were at Ultra Music Festival in Miami, and so we had just gotten there. It was like the day that we had arrived. And so we were by the pool before we were going to go to the festival in a couple hours in the evening. And we're by the pool, and so I was there with Jaime, and a couple of his close friends from Spain were visiting, and they were, they were coming to Ultra with us. But I wasn't with any girlfriends. I wasn't with anyone like in my work circle who would understand it. And so I was sitting there by the pool saw the sales come in. I was like, oh my God, that one just tipped me over. We just made $100K. And I like obviously had to tell Jaime. I was like, babe, I just hit it. I just made $100,000. Like, what?

And he was like, oh my God, you're kidding.

That's amazing. And he was like, okay, well, we'll celebrate later. Like, we'll get like some champagne or something. We'll celebrate later. And he's, you know, in conversation with his friends that he hasn't seen in months and months and whatever. So I was just sitting there like on my phone. Do I call someone right now? Should I call my mom? But then I was like, I don't know, I feel so internally weird about that, just like calling my mom and her being like, hey, what's going on, how's your day? And me, me randomly being like, I just made $100,000 in a month. I don't know, it was something within myself. And I think I still have like awkwardness around that. And it's like the programming that we receive that that is braggadocious, or that's like cringy, or, you know, this societal idea of not talking about money, which I've healed so much of that, but it's kind of like what we were talking about on my show where there's always like a new level of healing the old wounds. And I feel like that was definitely a new level of it for me because I'm someone who's gotten so comfortable talking about money, have courses about money, helped so many women overcome tons of like internal blocks around money. And yet that was like a new upper limit for me was like making $100,000 and being like, who do I call? Well, I probably shouldn't tell anyone. The only people that I told, luckily I was in a mastermind at the time. And this is why I think like having groups like this are so important, because it does help you feel less alone. Like you can drop that in there and everyone is, holy fucking shit, I knew you were gonna do it! Like they're like messaging you, they're like calling you, like they're hyped for you. And so being able to have friends in your life who share this kind of like ideology and this work, and they understand and they get it, is so, so valuable. Because otherwise it's, who the fuck are you gonna tell? That's such a weird random thing. No one else is out here calling you being like, like, hey, so I just got my biggest paycheck ever. Like, no one's— no one's doing that. And so that was where the, I guess, loneliness, you could say, came from. And it's, it's not a sob story at all of, oh, feel bad for me, I made $100,000 in a month and I didn't know who to call. Not at all. We totally understand these are first world problems for fucking sure. But it was really interesting because I didn't think that I would feel like that. I think it was surprising if I— that's not how I felt It's not how I imagined, like, the vibe would be hitting that milestone, because I think that's a really big— for whatever reason, it's a big milestone that a lot of people in this industry set for themselves is $100K a month. It's almost like this gold standard of, oh my God, I made it.

Yeah, no, totally. Like I just said, you planted the seed for me just in terms of that being a possibility. And so now it's this new shiny thing. I'm like, if Sam did it, I can do it. So absolutely. I want that. But it's so interesting what came up for you in terms of the awkwardness that you felt. Do I call my mom and just say, hey, guess what? I just made $100K. Me and some of my entrepreneurial girlfriends here have talked about that too, because when I was now going through pregnancy, or, or I would even say getting married, I wanna step backwards, engaged, engagement. I got engaged, married. Pregnancy, which included gender reveal, baby shower, all of these celebrations, basically.

That was your big year. That was your big—

that was my big year. Yes. But it's so interesting how, and we reflected on this, me and my friends, but there, there was this huge celebration for every moment that I had more in my personal life. So again, oh my gosh, you're pregnant. Congratulations. Or let's throw you a baby shower or let's do a gender reveal or you know, let's do this. And it's so accepted and again celebrated, like more just a no-brainer, like absolutely we're going to do this. But it dawned on me in that moment, I was like, huh, I can't tell any of these people that are here how amazing I'm doing like this month, right? Like I think I shared with you I had a $16K day, or July was a $25K month. Like I'm hitting my own milestones over here and I share it with one, the Top Tier Mastermind, and Bert. That, that's quite literally it. Because to your point, my mom loves me and supports me. It's not about that. But again, how do I share that? There's still also this awkwardness and no one's gonna throw me a party for, my gosh, you just hit a $16K day. What? It's just not normalized. Although I believe it should become normalized and we should celebrate that. Especially as females. And I don't know, like just yesterday I had, I'm having a big month here in October and I shared that with Bert and he got me a bottle of wine and he's, oh my God, I'm so proud of you. But I, I was like, I literally don't have anyone else to one, share this with, but also who would genuinely be excited for me like this and buy me wine. So it, it's just so interesting how it's ingrained in our society. Still today that we just don't celebrate that. It's not normalized. How do you— do you agree with that? And has that been your experience?

Yeah. And I think I go between two minds of, yeah, we should— let's bring the same energy to, oh, we found out the gender of our baby, which like you kind of almost had nothing to do with. I mean, like, you did it, but it was like unconsciously, you know what I mean? And it's—

everyone's like, oh my God, it's on Earth!

Yeah, let's celebrate that. I love that. It's not to not celebrate those things. I love it. Let's throw a party for fucking everything. But can we bring the same energy to like women's accomplishments, whether it's entrepreneurial or not, or it's a career or whatever, because those are the things that they've actually really labored for. And a lot of times it's a, it's a really big internal battle and upgrade that they have to go through to become the person that could achieve that, or that could have that thing, or that it could sustain it, or that could hold it. And there's a lot of courage involved in like taking the risks and the moves and doing all the things. And they just think those things are so worthy of, of being celebrated. But I also kind of go between, you know, not wanting to be a victim of, oh, people don't care about women's accomplishments. It's okay, well, let's make them care then. I guess we have to be the changemakers in that, right? Again, if you're not changing it, then you're choosing it. So we also have to remember that to no fault of our own, it's— it is quite recent history that like we even have this like ability to— so it's okay. Is it— is it that surprising that it's not, you know, an American custom yet to have Income reveal party. Highest tax month.

Let's have a different title. Income reveal party. Everyone's invited.

Like, I hit a milestone. Come to the party. You're gonna find out how much money I just made. I'm gonna pop a balloon and dollar bills are gonna fall out.

Okay, wait, I'm, I'm coming to that party. I'm invited, right?

It's kind of like a—

I'll be there. I'll be there.

So anyway, that definitely is is true that we celebrate a woman's milestones when they align with the traditional role that a woman has carried in society for many, many years. Yes. And we don't put as much weight or bring as much energy to her career accomplishments or, you know, business milestones and things like that. And I think part of that is because, especially if most of the people that you're surrounded by aren't entrepreneurs, they don't understand. And like, I hear a lot of moms talk about this. If you're the first person in your friend group to have a baby, it can feel like, you know, you don't have a village. And like, the people in your group maybe weren't supporting you as much as you thought that they would. But it's not like they're bad people. A lot of times it's like they didn't know. They don't know that you like needed them in that way. They didn't know that you wanted them in that way. Like you were talking about with Bert in the delivery room, it's like, how is he supposed to know like what you're feeling and experiencing internally, or what might help with that? But of course, your doula, who's a woman who may very well have children of her own, like, she knows more of that because she's had that experience, so she can help guide him. So it's like, when you have people in your life that aren't also entrepreneurs, they don't understand the blood, sweat, and tears, the late nights, the, the sacrifices, the struggle, you know, the rejection, the outreach, the objections, like all the things that you had to overcome to get to where you are. They can't have empathy for what you've had to go through to get to that because they have no context for it. They've never lived And so I think that's another reason why it's so important to have people in your life and in your circles that are, that do share that kind of lifestyle with you, like the masterminds and things like that, because they really get it in a way that other people will almost never be able to because they have no, they have no context. They have no idea.

Yeah, 100%. So we're gonna be the changemakers and we are going to throw ourselves a little party, a big party, fat party, sorry.

And come reveal party.

And come reveal party. But to your point also about motherhood, gosh, that resonated so deeply because I literally am going through that right now in terms of some of my old friendships fizzle out and that's okay. I've made, you know, peace with that, but they just don't know in terms of what I need. And even if I communicate it, which I have to a few, everyone has their own like story and belief system around becoming a mom. I mean, look at all the fears that I had to work through to become a mom. So I didn't realize that in me becoming a mom could be very triggering for some of my closest female friends because maybe they're trying to get pregnant. Some of them can't get pregnant. Some of them chose not to get pregnant. There's so many stories around their own experience, which I need to respect and be sensitive to. But it's really interesting. It's like this duality of emotions that I'm experiencing in different realities because I have a healthy baby girl and I love her so much and she's my world and it's really like blissful in this season and I can't share it with them because of what I just mentioned, but also they're not there to support me. And so when I delivered her and became a mom, I actually remember the same exact feeling that you just described of, I literally did not know that other mom friends needed me in this way or went through what they went through. So I texted the girls closest to me, my sister being one, and then two of my closest entrepreneurial friends. I texted them and I apologized. I said, I am so sorry for not checking in, for not being there for you, for letting distance be a reason to not be there for you as a friend. I just literally did not know. And all of them came back with so much grace and love and compassion. They're like, Katya, it's okay, we understand. So that just really resonated with me. So thank you for bringing that up. Last question for you and sticking to the motherhood theme. I saw— Oh, you knew it was coming. I saw a recent post of yours and I don't know if you titled it or something in there said everything has changed. And you've talked to me now about being in your thirties and you're like, what the fuck happens? Like babies, marriage, like all of that is on the brain. And you've mentioned and shared that your desire for motherhood, like it's there, like it's coming, it's gonna happen. So for other moms listening that are entrepreneurial or what others that potentially are thinking about becoming moms, how are you, if you are preparing for motherhood in, in terms of like maybe personal life, but then also probably mostly professional life.

Oh God, I, I'm not, I'm not prepared, Katya.

No one is, no one is, but we think we can prepare.

Yeah, I mean, I'm like, you probably have more advice on this than, than I do, but I think so far the only work I've really done, the only progress I've really made is I guess mentally preparing myself for the idea that this is like coming soon. Yeah, like I said, when I turned 30, like it was like a switch like flipped, and suddenly things that I had no rush or hurry about whatsoever were like coming into my consciousness so much more frequently about like marriage and babies and all those things. And luckily I did get engaged, so we're well on our way getting married in 7 months. So right now my focus is like on enjoying this season of planning the wedding and just being so excited that I finally get to marry my partner of over a decade and celebrate that with our friends and family in such a beautiful place and enjoying the process of planning everything and just not wanting to wish away this season because I'm like so focused on, okay, well, when am I gonna get pregnant and how is motherhood gonna look and all of those things. So I think that's one reason why I'm like, I'm so not prepared cuz I'm trying not to get like ahead of myself to where I'm like, you know, thinking about the next thing before I even am savoring and appreciating the current thing. So very much like in my bridal era still for sure. Mentally, I'm much more prepared of the idea that like children are coming soon. I don't know when. I think they're like in my sphere. I think they've been since I turned 30. I think the spirit of my children have been like around me in some way. Like maybe that's like the thoughts that like continue to come up and visualizing my life with them. But yeah, it's been like much more of a, a thing that's like on my heart. And I guess like I've thought a lot about, okay, so where do I want to raise these, these, you know, supposed children that hopefully God blesses me with? And like, where are we gonna live? Like, maybe we need to get a different house. Like, we only have 2 bedrooms. A lot of the logistical things that you try to like think about to plan and make yourself feel like you're ready for that moment, and I always come up with no answers. So I'm like, right now the plan is just trust, which is, you know, like, it's worked out for me. That's been— that's the story of my life. And so I'm like, okay, well, I guess this is where you lean trust myself that I'll know when. And if it happens unexpectedly, like, that it— trust that it's the right time and I'll be ready and I'll get ready. And yeah, like, just trusting God's plan, I think, because I have no idea. I have no idea if we would need to get a different house, if we would leave Florida, like, where I want to raise the kids, where I'd want them, how I would want to school them. I think about all these things, but I don't have answers yet. So my only answer is Jesus take the wheel, God willing.

Yes. I love that answer because, uh, people know my story. I over-prepared out of fear of, oh no, what's gonna happen to my business? And you and I worked together with preparing for my maternity leave and my podcast episodes. And while that did serve me for the 4 months, I could not have been prepared for just what motherhood is in the best way, right? Like the, the empowering uplevel that I went through. Because even if you do quote unquote prepare, let's just call it your business, or the 4 months mat leave that I had, I had an interesting experience where I looked back then on my programs, my offers, the way I operated them, the price points, and everything kind of fell flat. I was like, oh, like, this isn't even me anymore. This isn't even lighting me up anymore. Like, I'm craving new and new products, and, and all of that only happened after I became a mom. And so to your point, and I think it's such a huge takeaway for people listening, is you've got to trust that you will figure it out afterwards. Like you will figure out your business, you will make decisions that feel aligned and better for you and trust that it's all working in your favor. To your point, when it happens, it happens for a reason and we're just gonna go with it. It.

So I love this quote about faith begins where certainty ends. Yeah. And so everything that I'm uncertain about, I know that that's where I'm being asked to step into faith. And so if there's a new phase or a new season of your life, for anyone listening, that you're like, I don't know all the answers, I don't have this perfectly planned, I don't know how it's gonna map out for me, it's— well, faith begins where certainty ends. So wherever you stop having answers is where you need to start having Faith.

I love it so much. There's so many just lessons learned in here and nuggets of wisdom that you shared. So I just really appreciate you being here and coming on to the Building Her podcast. Where can everyone find you? Where's the best place to connect with you, work with you, discover your products, everything like that?

You guys can come find me on Instagram at _samanthadaily. That's my main platform. You can also check out the podcast. We have an episode with Katya your queen. So check out Makeshift Happen Podcast. It's everywhere you get podcasts. You can watch the video version on YouTube, or you can listen on Spotify, Apple, anywhere else. And if you're interested in working with me, you can go to my website, www.samanthadaly.com, or just shoot me a DM. Amazing.

Well, we'll link everything in the show notes below, and we will chat with you all next week. Thank you so much for tuning in. If you love this episode, please take a screenshot, tag @katy.lillian and _samanthadaily so that we can see it and connect with you. So thank you so much in advance for doing that, and I appreciate you. Until next time, bye!

If you loved this episode, make sure to check out the show notes where I've linked a few similar episodes I know you're also going to love. You'll find them under the similar episodes section in the description down below with direct links so you can dive in and start listening right away or add them to your queue for later. Binge away for even more growth, expansion, abundance, and fire motivation.