Your Brain Is a Filthy Liar: How to End Self Sabotage & Rewire Your Mind w/ Bizzie Gold

If you ever caught yourself thinking, I know better, so why do I keep doing this? This episode is going to be your wake-up call. What's up, guys? Welcome back to the podcast. Today we are diving deep into why self-awareness isn't enough to break your patterns and how your brain might be secretly sabotaging you in the name of protection. This week's guest is Bizzy Gold, and buckle up because she's not your average self-help expert. She's an industry disruptor, a neuroscience innovator, and the founder of multiple 8-figure companies through her groundbreaking method, Break Method. She's helped thousands of people around the world rewire self-destructive behaviors, heal emotional trauma, and unlock peak performance with real data and real results. Bizzy's approach has even been recognized by Johns Hopkins University's I4SUD program, where her technology suite was hailed for its potential in transforming chronic substance use disorder and emotional regulation. She's not just talking theory, she's making real-world change, backed by over 15,000 client data sets and proven In this conversation, we talk about why your brain is a filthy liar and how it keeps you stuck and looping in old patterns. The 5 brain pattern types that silently shape your entire life and how to discover yours. Why talk therapy can keep you addicted to narratives about your past and why you are the way that you are that may not even be accurate or true. How your constant 'I'll figure it out' attitude might be a trauma response in disguise. And is being delulu actually the solulu or just another dopamine trap? The actual difference between instinct and intuition from a neuroscience perspective, how social media is training our nervous systems and contributing to the mental health crisis, and the toxic truth behind authenticity culture and why true healing isn't about self-acceptance. Get ready to challenge everything you thought you knew about mindset. I think you guys are going to love this episode. All right, let's dive in. Welcome to the Makeshift Happen podcast. I'm your host, Samantha Daly, entrepreneur, life coach, and your no BS bestie, here to bring you all things mindset, manifestation, and personal development. This podcast is designed to help you expand your mind and uplevel your life. So turn the volume up and roll the windows down if you're coming along for the ride. Let's go make shit happen.

Welcome to the show, Bizzy. I'm so excited that you're here. I was just telling you before this that I'm personally fascinated and enthralled by your work and this topic, and I know my audience is going to be absolutely obsessed with this conversation. So I'm really, really excited that you're here. We love all things You know, brain rewiring, subconscious reprogramming. So many of the women in my audience are fascinated by mindset hypnosis, so many of these different modalities. But I know that you have come up with something really, really revolutionary, unique. You know, you're trailblazing in this industry. So I'm really excited to talk to you about everything that you've discovered and this line of work and your book and all the things. So welcome to the show. We're so excited that you're here.

Thank you so much. I'm excited to be here too. Yay.

Okay.

So I kind of wanna start with this idea of self-deception, cuz I know it's a, a huge topic for you and what you've been talking about recently, but this idea that as your, as the title of your book would have it, um, that your brain is a liar, right? Your brain is a filthy liar. I also love that title, by the way. So good. Because we're all lying to ourselves all the time, right? Um, but there's also these trends of like, lucky girl syndrome and being delusional, having to be delulu, um, that could be looked at as forms of self-deception, right? Absolutely. But those, those mindset shifts, whatever we wanna call them, are also genuinely helping people create better outcomes in their life. So when is it good and helpful to lie to ourselves and when is it bad or destructive to lie to ourselves? Can you kind of walk us through the different sides of that self-deception spectrum?

Absolutely. There is positive and negative self-deception as you just described. The easiest way to understand positive self-deception is to think of an extreme athlete. You or I would go look at some of the feats that they would go for and we would say, absolutely not. I'm not jumping off of that. What if my parachute doesn't open? Why would I jump off of a moving truck? But for them, they're like, yeah, send it. I got this. I can do it. So positive self-deception is when your brain actually minimizes the potential risk and it just highlights the reward. And what I have found through the work that I've done over the last 11 years is that our unique brain pattern type creates a pattern of self-deception that is unique to each person. So some people are actually more naturally inclined toward positive self-deception. And to your point, when some people believe that they can, they may actually pull it off because it does actually trigger confidence in some cases. What I have also seen as a trend throughout my work is that sometimes certain pattern types end up getting this positive self-deception where they think they're better at something than they are. And in the workplace, for example, this can cause a lot of conflict because if somebody believes they're better at something than they actually are, and then they end up getting negative feedback from a boss or from a coworker, what's going to happen? Because they're operating in positive self-deception, they're going to see themselves as a victim of somebody who is oppressing them or is trying to come for them in their job, rather than being able to pause and take ownership and self-reflect and say, maybe I didn't do a good job, maybe I did cut corners, maybe I did need to actually prepare for this presentation longer, and I did just try to pull it off last second. But certain people, depending on their childhood environment, aren't able to pause and accurately self-reflect. So this is one of the ways that even positive self-deception can actually trigger a very negative outcome.

Mm. Yeah, that's a good point. I didn't think about it that way. When the, when the delusion is actually delusion, it's like, mm, you're not that good.

And I think one of the things that potentially your audience may think of would be things like manifestation, law of attraction. So if I believe that it's going to come to me, it's therefore more likely to come to me. Technically, yes, I suppose. However, I've seen that frequently not actually be the case, and then it can lead people to feel like they are a failure or somehow they're not manifesting correctly, rather than actually looking in the mirror and saying, maybe I haven't actually acquired the skills or the expertise to pull this off. So for that reason, I can understand some of the benefits of framing things positively and trying to give yourself positive affirmations. But in my opinion, those are not necessarily going to create the fruit that actually putting in the hard work and labor to become an expert would do. And I think we see a lot of that in the space right now.

Yeah, because there's always that element of aligned action and having to actually make your— what mindset you're choosing to lean into and those beliefs and affirmations that you're choosing to tell yourself line up with how you're actually showing up and the things that you're actually doing And like you said, working on it, acquiring the skills, doing the work. I see this so much too with, you know, a lot of women that work with me, they're building personal brands and online businesses. And there'll be this phenomenon where I think because we've gotten sold this idea that it's so easy to make money nowadays and all we have to do is like, you know, think positively and be in the energy and be the embodiment and then it will happen that people do sometimes get a little bit lazy with it and they're like, well, I posted my offer and no one bought it. And it's like, That's maybe the, the positive delusion that's not as helpful when it's like, I can just post one time and I think I'm gonna make, you know, $10,000, $20,000, $30,000. So we do see that as well and needing to have, needing to back it up with the action.

And I would say even worse, wanting to make the money for the sake of the money rather than truly being an expert in your field. So it, let's say somebody has taken a course, this is how you build your own course and build your own brand so that you can make this money. If you're going after that to make the money, you're likely going to follow the steps that somebody gave you, like a recipe, right? Like you could bake a cake, but potentially the actual expertise and the knowledge base is not in the cake. Therefore, people are going to feel a disconnect with the cake. It might look pretty, but it's essentially a facade. And yeah, no matter what people these days because we're so bombarded with courses and experts, people can sniff it out. It's, it's in our DNA. We can tell when something is a facade. So I think often in those cases, people are set up to fail because of their positive self-deception, because it's— yeah, it's not easy to make money. It's not easy to truly be an expert. And I think many people are out there building businesses to teach you how to do this when really they've never made money. Doing something other than telling you how to make money. And I think really ultimately social media in that way has become essentially a pyramid scheme where everyone that's telling you how to build your course and be an expert to make money has really only done that teaching you how to make money, which entices people for the wrong reasons.

It's the business coach that's never built a business. Their only business is telling people how to build a business. And it's like, well, how do you tell someone to build a business if you never built a business?

Exactly.

First step, First step to anything is having, having an amazing life-changing product and really like refining that. But I, I kind of wanna circle back to something that you said about the positive self-deception, cuz you've mentioned certain brain patterns. Like, is that from birth that they're wired more towards the positive self-deception versus the negative? Or is it learned in childhood?

It's nurture. So we have tracked 9 distinct markers and attributed them into 5 brain pattern type groups. These patterns are typically hardwired between the ages of 2 and 5. So it's not that you come into the world and you are automatically this person. It is predominantly a process of nurture. So it is coming from the repetitive, adversely perceived experiences in your environment. And what's interesting is that we have found through the data, the more loving and stable and coddling your family is, actually the worse the outcome is. It, it actually breeds this positive self-deception that makes you think you're better at things than you actually are. Hmm.

So how do we, how do we develop the type of positive self-deception that is actually useful and good for you?

I actually don't think positive self-deception is good for you. So that's where potentially my work takes a bit of a turn.

Okay. Yeah.

Go off on that. Potentially. Let's dip back into explaining what negative self-deception is, and then I can break down how different pattern types will perceive self-deception. So negative self-deception is when your brain is highlighting the risks rather than the reward, and potentially inflating what those things may be based on assumptions in a way that's completely illogical and irrational and would never actually happen. And I'm sure you've met people like this in your life before, where there are people that are always hypervigilant, something— someone is always about to die, there's always an accident about to happen, and they cannot relax. Their nervous system cannot actually be at peace and stillness. That is a type of negative self-deception. Or in a dating context, some people are frequently convinced that their partner is cheating on them when they may not be at all. Those would be all negative forms of self-deception. Ultimately, our brain pattern is going to create a set of patterns of self-deception for each one of us. Some on the left side of the spectrum, which I'll talk about, are typically more the lack of trust in others, leaning more toward the hypervigilance, how things are going to unfold situationally, and they're typically not skewing things positively, they're skewing them negatively. If you go to the right side, they tend to skew things positively all the way until you get to the fire side. So I'll break down the spectrum in just a moment. Both forms of self-deception get us to repeat cycles of chaos and conflict in our lives. So I'll give you an example of some positive self-deception in my life that ultimately has created businesses, but at the detriment of my own health. So I think that's a good example that maybe other female entrepreneurs can align themselves with. My brain will always tell me, I'll figure it out, I'll figure it out, even if the actual physical evidence shows me not only should I not figure it out, but it may not actually be possible in terms of time or how many appointments I have stacked up. My brain will always just see a workaround. I'll figure it out. But when you figure it out, there are other things that fall out from that, namely autoimmune disease and some other types of chronic disease, uh, hormone imbalances, right? Cortisol going through the roof because Technically you could figure it out, but should you? Is that actually in the best interest of your family or your marriage or your physical body? Probably not. So while it's created success in my life, it's actually not in my best interest to just allow that positive deception— positive self-deception to just keep running unchecked. So that is something that I think is important for everyone to understand, is that there are always going to be potential positive pieces of evidence in your life that are born of that self-deception. But that doesn't mean that we should just let it keep running unchecked, because many of us, especially in our business lives, our self-deception patterns may have created really strong work ethic or that sense that we can always figure it out. But those same things are going to potentially damage our relationships. So I like to look at things much more holistically, because something that is an asset in one area might be a detriment in another area if we're not willing to look at the pattern.

But that's why I think it's hard for what I imagine, and this for myself too, like it's hard to break those things because like you said, yes, it could lead you to burnout, but it's also creating a lot of results, or it's also, you know, landing you jobs or contracts or whatever. Like the exact brain pattern that's creating disconnection in your relationships or taking away from your time with your kids or leading you down a road of burnout is also the thing that is making you super productive or the person that can always get it done, always meets the deadline. So I think that's that cat-dog that then people start to play in their minds of like, you're weighing the pros and the cons, and it feels like if you stop behaving in that way, if you stop believing that you can always figure it out, if you stop always saying yes to all the meetings or all the opportunities, then maybe all of my success will go away, or maybe the momentum will stop. So yeah, I can see how that's it challenging to really like reconcile and choose a new way.

Okay, so I have something I think you're really gonna love, and your business is gonna love it even more. Do you want to steal the strategy I've been using to seduce premium buyers and sell out my offers on Instagram Stories? Chances are you're already posting, you're already making sales, but if your Instagram Stories aren't working as hard as you are, you're leaving money on the table. Sold Out Stories is going to teach you exactly how to change that so that you can sell out any offer at any price point. And even high-caliber coaches miss this because selling on stories isn't about how much you post or how frequently you show up face to camera. It's about psychological sequencing. And the way you're posting right now might be giving the premium buyers in your audience the ick. Documenting your day and hoping it builds trust, posting look-at-me content and calling it authority. Sharing client wins as soon as they drop in instead of strategically weaving them into a story selling sequence designed to drive demand and convert sales. We both know that you're not here to learn how to show up more. You're here because you know your content could be converting faster and more effectively. Sold Out Stories is gonna give you 5 high converting story selling frameworks built specifically for premium buyer psychology. Inside, you'll get over 6 hours of deep dive video trainings, real IG story breakdowns, and live walkthroughs that show you exactly how to elevate your slides from authority building all the way to offer flow in less than 10 slides. My clients have already been using these frameworks to pull 5-figure sales days while posting less. One client generated 14 premium leads from a single story sequence. Another sold out her event in under 6 hours with just 8 strategic story slides. No sales calls, no paid ads, just the right framework. You'll walk away knowing how to sequence for desire, transition into your offer seamlessly, and sell daily without ever feeling salesy. You already know your offer is incredible, so now it's just time for your stories to sell it like it is. Grab Sold Out Stories today and turn 10 slides or less into your highest converting content. Let's make your next story your most profitable one yet. Click the link in the show notes below and I'll see you inside.

You can rewire the system without losing the benefits, and that's something that I work with clients on pretty frequently because I do work with a lot of CEOs and kind of more that top 10% income earners, and they don't want to stop doing the things that are producing success, but they want to fix the things that are damaging their relationship. So the reality is we have to— using this example of I'll figure it out, I now have to be able to check myself and look at all of my— have a moment of pause to look at all of my priorities. And instead of just automatically saying yes or automatically saying I'll figure it out, I have to look at all of the other things that I have to weigh in that moment, and I have to make decisions that are based in the moment rather than my pattern. And when we do effectively rewire, we stop saying yes automatically and we stop allowing our self-deception to become an automatic response. And instead, we're able to choose what is best for us in that singular moment, which is going to yield a different sort of result because there are times that I have to sacrifice something for my family to move my business forward. But that doesn't mean that I have to do that every single time without thinking about it. So I'm on my book tour right now. I've had to be away from home quite a bit more than usual, and of course that's gonna put stress on the family, but there are different conversations and different ways that you deal with that in your marriage and with your kids so that you mitigate any fallout from that rather than just always putting the book tour first. There were a couple opportunities that I got that were right around my daughter's 15th birthday, and that's a perfect example. Could I go? Should I go? Did my publicist potentially want me to go? Of course. But it's my daughter's birthday, so I had to learn, thankfully, years ago that there are certain things that you have to say no to, and that's okay. If that opportunity comes back again, great. If not, I'd rather pour into my daughter for her birthday. But that's something that maybe 5 years ago I would have just thought to myself, I don't have a choice. But I do have a choice. So ultimately, when we rewire positive self-deception, we realize that we do actually have a choice and we're able to choose in that moment rather than just respond automatically, which is what most of us do all the time.

Yeah, kind of getting out of that autopilot and getting more into the intentionality of really understanding when you say no to something, you're saying yes to something else. When you say no to the opportunity for whatever that book meeting was, you say yes to your daughter's birthday, and vice versa, right? When you're saying yes to something, always saying yes to all the meetings, all the things, you're also saying no to connection time or free time or whatever it is. Can you go to the other side of the spectrum now, to the negative, and kind of give us some examples of, of what that looks like?

Absolutely. When people are operating in negative self-deception, it can be assuming that other people are thinking a certain way about you, where you may just be projecting your own insecurities, which is very common. An example would be, in my life, I get very tunnel vision focused on whatever I'm doing, and that's one of the reasons that I'm very productive. If I'm focused on something, everything else happening around me stops existing. To the point where I've had to communicate with my husband, hey, if I'm typing something, even if you're right next to my ear, I won't hear— it's not even don't talk to me, I won't hear you. That's how focused I get. As he could be in my ear and I still won't hear him.

So that's— I need that.

I'm like, shut up, focused. So, and that's where you and I are likely on two opposite sides of the spectrum, because my brain, when I focus on something I do just get that one-track mind, and it's like all of my senses come together in this tunnel vision where I go into a flow state where I literally could stay for hours and think that I was there for 10 minutes. So great for productivity, terrible for relationship intimacy and connection. So my husband knows this now. Obviously we've been married for 6 years, so he knows that he has to actually come in my line of sight, wait until it seems like I've maybe stopped typing quite so fast, and be like, You know, make sure he can see me like, hello, just a little wave, a little wave, or, or like a gentle tap or just saying like, hey honey, when you get to a good stopping place, I have a question for you rather than just talking to me right next to my head and assuming I can hear him cuz I won't. So there are little hacks that you can do when you've been married to somebody where you can, they know where when you are focused, you can't hear them and you know how to get a workaround. So in a situation like this, had my husband and I both not done break, his brain pattern is much more likely to think that I'm ignoring him actively. So if we didn't both know this about each other, he would think that I don't care or don't respect him and don't care to listen to what he's asking me at that moment. But of course that's not true, and I literally can't hear him. So what's the workaround? The workaround is to understand each other's pattern of self-deception and find different ways to get the other person's attention and not just immediately assume that the other person is ignoring you. Because that would be a negative form of self-deception, right? Just assuming that everyone's out to get you, or everyone thinks you're an idiot, that, um, no one trusts you, or that in vice versa you don't trust the other person, or they are untrustworthy. All the negative forms of self-deception, I think, are much more common. I think it's probably more of an 80/20 split. The positive self-deception happens more, I think, in career than anything else. Mm-hmm. Or I've seen this in relationships too, where people will believe that they are engaging with a partner in a way that they really, in objective reality, are not. And when people take my Break Method program, it's very common that somebody comes into the program convinced that their husband is the problem. And when they get to a very specific part of the program, they look at me and they go, oh my God, it's me. And I'm like, I know, it's okay. Shoot. We're gonna get through this. It's gonna be great. Uh, because it's not about guilt and shame and regret. It's about being able to see that pattern of self-deception and literally remove that lens so that you can see clearly for the first time. Because when we can see all the things that we've just been automatically assuming without checking ourselves at all, we're able to collaborate with the people around us much more, and we're able to have significantly more empathy for other people. Instead of now my husband deciding I don't care about what he's saying and I'm ignoring him, he actually has empathy for me because he sees that that's— while it's a benefit in a lot of ways, it's, it's a detriment in a lot of parts of my life. So instead of taking it personally, we work with each other and he doesn't read into it. So there's a lot of collaboration and empathy that can come on the other side of being willing to see how your brain automatically assumes, either negatively or positively, because then you get to be living in the real world.

Yeah, yeah. I, you know, I think it's so beautiful when people start to become more self-aware of their own patterns, but also of everyone else's. It just, like you said, it creates a lot more empathy. But I know that there's a lot of people that are already like quite self-aware. They have either done a lot of therapy or they've worked on themselves, done a lot of inner work. They understand, oh, I'm this way because of this. They understand— they connected a lot of the dots to things that have happened in their childhood or past relationships, why they're mistrusting or why they have those negative self-deceptions, et cetera. And I think one of the most frustrating things for people who are so self-aware already and have been doing that work is the fact that despite knowing better about, you know, their patterns or what they should be doing, they still often can find themselves engaging in self-sabotaging behaviors or getting triggered and showing up in relationships or whatever in a way where they're like, mm, like, I didn't want to do that. Afterwards, they reflect and they're like, I know better than this. I know what happened. I know exactly where it comes from. I know the pattern from my childhood. Like, why can I not stop doing this? And I know that brain pattern mapping is something that you've shared is really revolutionary because it's helping people transcend that exact point of not just self-awareness, but actually breaking free from those unhelpful patterns once and for all. Can you— there's so many people that are going to be fascinated by this because I think a lot of people in the audience are like, exactly, that's me. I know why I do the things that I do. I'm so self-aware. I've been in so much therapy, but I still self-sabotage or shoot myself in the foot with these things that I don't want to be doing. Why is brain pattern mapping different, and how does it really help people break those shackles?

To your point, awareness is not even close to enough. Also, awareness is something that is happening on more of a conscious level, and what you're describing is when the subconscious is actually driving the behavior, and only after you've done damage or you've ended up in a situation that you're perceiving as negative or not what you wanted, are you reflecting and saying, oh my God, why did I do that? I knew not to do that. When you are learning information, like taking a course and learning about your patterns and things like that, it would be like committing that knowledge just like you did in middle school where you had to learn historical facts, right? Where you would go take a test and you're like, the War of 1812 happened in 1812. That is not the part of your memory that is being utilized when you're emotionally activated. So while somebody can know that intellectually, that's not what their body is using as a knowledge bank in those individual moments because your body's responding emotionally. When we do brain pattern mapping with Break, brain pattern mapping is the very first part of the process. It helps us track a series of historical data from your childhood. We put all these together and then that set of historical data actually maps out what your brain pattern type is based on those 5 that we talked about briefly. From there, we start to see a cluster of behaviors, emotions that you cycle through, in what order, what orders the behaviors occur. And we also are then able to understand what your unique pattern of self-deception is that we have to help you disentangle, number one, by becoming aware of it. But then the most important part is addressing the language structures that your brain uses. And this is what I don't see addressed virtually anywhere out in the mental health or spiritual ether. So I'll break it down as quickly as I can. When you're aware of something intellectually but you're emotionally activated, you're not able to use that knowledge bank until after it's already over, and obviously that's not yielding good results for anybody. To actually change the way you're responding in the moment, you have to change the way your brain is generating language and tying that language to the memories that you've encoded, and that's all happening way below the surface. It's happening so much deeper than awareness or willpower would ever operate from. So if you think about memory and how we are responding to our world, kind of like levels. So think of it like a, you know, ground floor would be maybe consciousness. We've gotta go 4 to 5 levels into the basement to really get to what's actually driving our behavior. And what I have found more often than not is even people that have done so much work and they've been in therapy for a long time, they're convinced that they could give us a list of the reasons that they are the way they are. And we have found time and time again, those are red herrings and they are not actually at all the reasons that they are what they are. People get very attached to their story of, I'm like this because my dad left, or I'm like this because my dance teacher critiqued my body, or whatever the narrative is. And we have found repeatedly that those are not actually the inputs that create the outputs that most of us are struggling with today. They're a lot more under the radar, repetitive, It could be simpler things like the way my mom raises her eyebrows when I do a certain thing, or the way my mom and dad look at each other when it feels like I'm in trouble. They're very rarely the big crescendo events. They're things that happen over and over again at a low level all day long, and those inputs create outputs in our brain as language. If a car needs gasoline to go, our brain needs language to actually make sense of our world. So if you think about, look around anything in your room, anything that you look at, your brain will try to define it, right? Microphone, tree, my room is white. And even if you're not consciously thinking that, your brain will just, anything you look at, it will tie a word to it. And many of us are not necessarily consciously aware of this, but it's happening beneath the radar, kind of like ticker tape at the bottom of a news station. Some of us are aware of it and Surely some of us wish that we could stop being aware of it. It might be the source of intrusive thoughts for some of us, but some of us have either blocked it out entirely or we've just tried to tune into something else. When we understand what the pattern of self-deception is, we then can understand what language the self-deception pattern generates that is justifying, excusing, or rationalizing small things in your environment. If we can effectively address the language and we get to the level by which you're perceiving reality, we can automatically change your responses without you having to try. This is what we do in Break Method. We have to get to the level of language and we have to get to the level of perception of reality. So quite literally, you are seeing the situation differently. Therefore, responding differently is an automatic because you're seeing it differently. What you're describing is many people have not yet gotten to the place where they are perceiving reality differently. They're still perceiving the same way, they just have a new knowledge bank, but they can't quite make the two connect with each other. You have to get to the level of fundamentally rewiring the perception of reality because then the new choices are automatic. You don't have to try to white-knuckle your way through it or willpower your way through it. It's now that you see the error, it's automatic. You would do not— you would do nothing else. It wouldn't make any sense. Yeah.

Hey, don't forget that every month we are picking a Listener of the Month to win $50 in cash just for showing love to the show. All you have to do is leave an epic review of the podcast on Apple Podcasts, screenshot the review before you hit submit, and DM that screenshot to us on Instagram at Makeshift Happen Podcast. And that's it. I want to thank you for being such a loyal listener and show my appreciation by putting a little extra cash in your pocket. I know it's super easy not to do it, but every single rating and review seriously helps the show rank higher and reach new people, so we appreciate them more than you know. We'll announce the next winner at the end of the month and slide into your DMs if it's you, so keep an eye out and good luck. Love you guys, and thanks for supporting Makeshift Happen.

What is the mechanism behind that? Like, can you explain a little bit of the modality of Break Method? Um, obviously involves doing some subconscious rewiring because you're changing what's happening beneath the surface, not just consciously. What is the, what is the mechanism for that?

So it takes about 20 weeks. It depends on how engaged the person is. I've seen people try to go through it in 12 weeks, which I don't recommend because The time that it takes to integrate is important. I don't think it's something that somebody would wanna speed through just to get through it or check a box. I think 20 is the sweet spot. And throughout the 20 weeks, there's different phases of the work because in the very beginning, we have to be mapping and grabbing all of the different pieces of data. I like to look at it like a jigsaw puzzle that's 1,000 pieces, like 1,000 tiny jigsaw puzzle pieces. Before we put the puzzle together, we have to find the different individual pieces, right? And then we have to go through the process of understanding, okay, these pieces go on the left side and these pieces go on the top right and these pieces are the center. Once we kind of have our clusters of where these pieces belong, then we can start actually assembling the jigsaw puzzle. But you can't— if you're not willing to acknowledge the separate pieces and you're so attached to this idea of what your picture looks like, you're seeing something that's not what actually is. So an example of this would be going back to what you said, where people are so convinced that I am this way because whatever their narrative is, it would— in their mind, they're trying to build a different jigsaw puzzle than actually exists. So they're trying to put together this picture where the puzzle pieces actually aren't there for that puzzle. Does that make sense? Yeah.

Okay. Yeah.

So instead of deciding this is what my puzzle looks like and now trying to find the pieces, which technically is what happens in most traditional therapy containers, we have people so distracted and siloed that they can't lie to themselves and then can't try to cheat the system. And this is very important because self-deception will even prevent you from being able to get to the truth of your own healing. And I've seen this happen time and time again. By way of this red herring. Well, no, no, I'm this way because— or I'm, I'm this person because that's what my therapist said. It's like, that might be true. Why don't we move that over to the side and go through this process and see what the process shows you? Because time and time again, I've seen that this process shows people, even therapists, things that they never would have expected in a million years that actually have the password to release them from years of trauma and chaos and poor relationships and intrusive thoughts. So if we don't let the client understand, they, they can't build the picture in their own mind. We have them looking left, looking right, looking left. They can't try to outsmart the system. They can't let their own bias influence what they're putting into the work. Then when we've gotten all this information extracted and they can't cheat the system, we show them how to pull all these pieces together, not knowing what this piece was or how this piece connects to this piece. When they pull it all together, typically this is where they have this profound aha moment. They're like, oh my God, I see it, I can't unsee it. A great example of this would be borderline personality disorder. We work with borderline all the time in Break Method. This has been one of the personality disorders that is most challenging to treat in traditional mental health because the self-deception is so profound. And when faced with evidence of their behavior, they tend to split and they deny that any of those things are true. Because of the way we do it in Break Method, where these different extraction processes are siloed and you can't kind of create or infuse your own narrative into it, they accidentally tell the truth in these small little pieces. And when you teach them to put it together, no one told them to write those, they came from themselves. But when they put it all together, they see it for the first time, they're like, holy shit, I have borderline, and I'm like, it's gonna be okay, we're gonna get through it. I've seen people get to the other side of this a million times, it's gonna be great. So the process of extraction needs to be something that the client can't influence because this pattern does not want to be broken. That is the key here, is that the pattern believes it's keeping you safe, so it doesn't want to let it go. So you have to outsmart it and put the data extraction process into these silos that the client can't actually negatively influence. The unfolding of events, which frankly, in therapy— I work, I train therapists all the time in my modality— that is one of the things that stalls therapy the most, is as soon as you get around an area that actually is a high-value target, the client's triggered, or they don't want to talk about it right now, or they start yawning. If it's too obvious where you're going, the self-deception pattern can really step forward to the microphone and completely block the healing process. So Break Method finds all these workarounds to help the client extract these truths that are deeply held in their system. Not coming from me, I'm not telling you what it is. I'm helping you pull them out so that you can put this jigsaw puzzle together. And throughout that process, we now know the language, the trigger, how the trigger and the language works with this person, and we know how to effectively address that underlying language that your brain is generating. To really understand what that process is like, I use an example that I call the Tale of Two Lawyers. And if you want me to break it down a little bit, I can, because it helps. The language thing, I think, can be a little bit intangible for people, and I'm happy to— yeah, yeah.

I was just gonna say, this is so, so fascinating. I'm, I'm loving this. Okay, tell us about the Tale of Two Lawyers.

Is that what it's called? Tale of Two Lawyers. So, okay, when our brain pattern is active, it would at any given time be like having two lawyers in a courtroom, a prosecutor and a defense attorney. The prosecutor is your brain pattern, and with the brain pattern, all of your self-deception, all of the things that you believe to be absolutely unequivocally true about your world, mostly in the form of assumption, but assumptions that over the course of your life you've collected evidence to back them up. On the other side, we've got the defense attorney, which is the attorney that we are trying to bolster through Break Method work because we're trying to set you free. We're trying to help you do things that you haven't done before. We're trying to get you to change an outcome rather than just keep collecting evidence that all men are untrustworthy or all women hate me. Because if you believe that, that is how you're going to engage with your world, then you're more likely to bring people into your world that keep those rules true. So we're trying to get you out of that repetitive cycle, which means that we have to get your defense attorney to be better at arguing on your behalf. Have you ever seen the show Suits?

Love it. Obsessed.

Me too. So. The prosecutor is Harvey Specter. He always gets his man. Harvey plays dirty, but somehow we're rooting for him anyways. Even when he's cutting corners and doing something quasi-illegal, we're still like, oh, but it's Harvey. This is how our brain pattern functions. We literally root for our own self-destruction because we're used to it. We like— we're used to the cadence of how this attorney argues, and it makes us feel safe because we know what's going to happen. Harvey's always going to get his man. Now the defense attorney is more like the attorney in My Cousin Vinny. Have you ever seen My Cousin Vinny?

No.

Okay, so I'll give a brief little excerpt of this to put it into perspective. In My Cousin Vinny— this is a movie that came out maybe like early '90s— these two New Yorkers are going on a road trip after law school and they somehow, through mistaken identity, get put on trial in like Mississippi or some like southern state for murder, even though it wasn't actually them. And they're in the middle of nowhere. They end up getting this public defender, and the public defender seems great when they're behind closed doors, but then they go into the courtroom, and for opening arguments, the lawyer gets up there and he just goes, ah, ah, ah, ah. And it turns out he's got a stutter. He literally can't even talk. And they're just like, great, we're gonna fry. We're gonna get charged with the death penalty. And they're just like, we need to find a different lawyer right now. Our defense attorney is a is that effective, which is not at all. We've spent so much time cheering for our prosecutor that we don't really know how to stand up for ourselves, and we don't know how to argue at the level that Harvey does. But also, we're not aware of how Harvey weaponizes our own deepest fears and insecurities, our own secrets, to keep us stuck. Because that is actually what happens when we do brain pattern mapping. One of the things that I love about it is that each person's brain pattern type comes with a very specific pattern of secret keeping or behaviors that you keep compartmentalized that nobody else would know about. But I know that it's unique to your brain pattern type. So when we do them, I can say, I bet you do this and this and this. And they're like, how would you know that? Because it's, it's really not— I know it feels personal, but it's not you, it's your brain pattern type. That is exactly what I would expect there. So we know that Harvey this prosecutor knows how to weaponize all of those things to get you to be like, you're right, we should just— we should break up with this person right now, we should just move on, maybe the next boyfriend will be better. Instead of maybe actually bolstering the defense attorney and being like, is— am I engaging with this relationship that maybe is making this person act toxic, but maybe I'm also contributing? Because in a lot of cases, people are very quick to label something as toxic and, you know, free themselves from the toxic relationship, only to, oh my God, find themselves in the same toxic relationship right after. At a certain point there needs to be a flag thrown on the field that maybe you're also contributing and it's not actually just always this toxic partner. You know, what's the common denominator? Common denominator is if it keeps happening to you, maybe you— there's something that you have to work on. So when we look at these lawyers, we need to understand, number one, what arguments Harvey's going to use. And those are all going to be language architectures, and those are all going to be actually using specific wounds that we have, or stories that we tell ourselves, or secrets that we've kept, or things that we're ashamed of. And he'll use those things to get us to be compliant and just be like, you're right, I'm not going to stand up for myself. So we have to know what he's going to do so that we can effectively counter it with better language. You can't— this is one of the things that I think frustrates me in general when I see people who have been in therapy for 10 years and they're still having the same problems that they've had the whole 10 years. You have to fight language with better language. And it's one of the things that I don't see very frequently given to people coming out of therapy. Maybe they're given like broad strategies, or I saw one psychiatrist do a presentation and he's like, I just, you know, tell people don't, don't do that. I'm like, well, if we— if that was effective, everyone would be fine because a lot of us know what not to do. But to your point earlier, that's It's not necessarily going to change our behavior. So we have to help a client understand how to get ahead of their brain pattern generating language. So we have to insert language before the brain's able to bring it forward. So imagine the brain like a hard drive that has tons of files in it. When we get emotionally activated, without us knowing it, a file is clicked and that language generates, and then we respond. And it could be something as simple as having a conversation with an intimate partner and we see a look on their face as we're trying to share something that feels vulnerable, and without necessarily consciously being aware of it, our brain has noticed how their face is shifting or they're holding their shoulders differently. Our brain has generated language. They're mocking you, right? And maybe we're not hearing they're mocking you, but that's something our brain has now decided. We need to get ahead of that and know I'm about to have a vulnerable conversation with my husband, and I already know when I do this, my brain likes to weaponize this, this, and this. And I like to— my brain wants to read into my husband's facial expressions. So before I even go in, I know what I have to kind of prime the pump with linguistically so that when I go in, I'm able to not read into their facial expressions because I've already countered it before my brain can present it. So an example of this that could help would be before the file's even clicked, we already have to insert language. And that's something that is actually relatively easy to do when you've actually mapped all of your triggers and you understand where you are most vulnerable, because then when you go into the vulnerable place, you're already bolstered to handle it differently.

And when we prime ourselves, then when Harvey comes in with his argument, we already see that it's not true because we already poked holes Can you also, like, the emotional side I think is the side that makes all logic and everything that you know go out the window. And I know you talk about like emotional repatterning. Is there a way to also not, because right now it kind of sounds like, okay, I know that I might be triggered by this, I know how I'm going to feel, but I can anticipate that, poke holes in the argument, see it for what it is, and then kind of use those different, the, the better language, right, to understand how I want to respond. But is there a way, like, can we get to a place where we no longer have the emotional reaction that we have to almost like—

Absolutely.

Work to overcome? Can we get to a place where we're not triggered by those things and it's just very natural and normal for us to react in a different way?

Absolutely. Over the course of the 20 weeks that you would be in Break Method, there are different phases of this work. So think about it like we're putting certain tools in your toolkit and then we're kind of sending you out into the field.

Okay, report back once you've used those things.

There are certain tools that work at different phases, up right up until you don't have to use tools anymore. You've just changed, like, your paradigm has actually changed so much that now you don't have to try. You don't have to try to insert language because now your brain pattern has actually shifted, and now you're seeing things differently. So you don't have to reach for something. When we're talking about emotional repatterning, we're talking about actually disrupting an emotional response with a set of logical questions so that you can actually engage your intuition. And this is something that people tend to conflate with instinct, and it's very important that people understand how different instinct and intuition are, because very frequently I'll hear people say, oh, well, I just intuitively, I knew not to do that. Intuition actually doesn't come before the emotional response. You have to be able to weather through the emotional response to allow intuition to come forward, because typically our intuition is going to counter our brain pattern. It's typically going to lead us to things that are outside of our comfort zone and not what feels comfortable. And our instinct typically is what will actually keep us stuck in that same repetitive loop. In order to make intuition available to us, we have to be able to interrupt that emotional response. When we are doing the work and break method, we are understanding what triggers us into our emotional response, and we're also learning how frequently we're actually in that cycle. Because a lot of us are only aware of it when we're in these like kind of really big blowout conflicts, but the reality is we're in that all day long and we're looping around it all day long in more of what I would call a microcycle. And actually, those things are more likely to do long-term damage than the big things. I've taught this work with incarcerated populations, and one of the first things that I ask them is, you know, take a piece of paper, tell me why you're here. Most people will write down what their charges were, you know, DUI, a drug charge. They're not there in prison because of that one time they got busted. They're there because of how they perceive reality minute to minute and make these small decisions that all over time aggregate into a life of chaos. So when we're looking at how our emotions are going to drive our behavior and start to create these bigger problems in our life, we have to understand the minute-to-minute, day-to-day emotions and learn how to rewire those, which is going to be a byproduct of understanding obviously the triggers, but also what the emotional addiction cycle is and exactly what questions start to interrupt it. What I have found is that when we start with very specific— we call them ELI questions— for very specific trigger sets, we might give a client 8 questions, and we tell them to stop with the questions when they feel something physically shift in their body. So as soon as the emotional response has actually been disabled, we have them stop, and then typically they're able to actually engage with their world with more of an intuitive presence. Maybe when someone's first going through it, they get to question 6 and then they stop. Maybe the next week they get to question 4. What we have found time and time again is once you've done this enough times, you literally think the first word of the first question, you already start laughing at yourself and you're like, this is a wrap. Um, we're good. I don't ever have to do this again. So we see people who previously in therapy were repeating the same things and were frustrated and were getting passed from one therapist to another therapist, this medication to that medication, thinking that they were completely a hopeless case. Completely turned the corner in 2 and a half months to the point where they're laughing at me, like, literally, why doesn't everybody know this? It feels like everybody should know this. This should be taught in school. And frankly, I agree because it's, it's not magic, but the way that we structure ELI questions is completely different than what else is out there. And it's because we already anticipate where your brain is going to go and in what pattern it's gonna try to keep distorting the narrative. So that with a very elegantly worded specific question for you, it's like something snaps you out of it and you're like, oh my God, why would I ever do that to myself? And then the person comes back and they don't have to deal with it again. So these questions over time should go down. So maybe you go from 8 to 6 to 4 to maybe even just laughing at yourself because you already know what's happening and you don't have to ask them at all. To the point where then people are coming to me, you know, 3, 4, 5 years later having saved their marriages and having gotten estranged kids back in their life, and they're like, everyone needs to know this because I'm literally a different person. But the reality is you're not actually becoming a different person. You're literally just restoring who you were always meant to be before whatever happened in your family system actually patterned you to be something else. So it's more a process of restoration back to who you always could have been rather than making you someone completely different.

Oh, I love that. It's like unbecoming. Yes, shedding all the things that were put— placed on top of you to actually return to who you've always been rather than having to. And I think that's easier. I don't know, I, I love that visual for myself too, and any type of like personal work, because it feels, it feels natural. It feels like there's already this version of me that exists, and that's who I am at my core. And like, my natural state that I'm designed to be in is that— is good, is clean, is clear, is productive, is loving, is understanding. Is compassionate, is self-aware, all those things. And all I have to do is kind of like peel back these layers to get there, rather than this idea or this feeling like I have to construct a new version of myself that I've never been or that doesn't exist, which I think for a lot of people can feel really, really hard. But I'm fascinated by these questions. You call them ELI questions. Is that— is that an acronym? Is it E-L-I? Does it stand for something?

Yep. Emotion, Logic, Intuition. So an ELI triangle is going to be— if you visualize just an equilateral triangle— where we naturally go when we are triggered is emotion. Very short reaction sequence. As soon as we're triggered, our body is already going to be generating chemical hormone responses that are going to get us to respond to our world. When we interrupt that emotional response sequence with logical questions, we end up disabling that emotional response so that we're able to actually take in context and nuance in the moment. And we're allowed to bring that intuition forward and make a decision that's right for us in that precise moment, rather than based on all the historical context of what our brain believes to be true about our world. Because when we respond with all the historical context, we're much more likely to repeat what's happened to ourselves in the past.

Yeah, yeah. Okay, can you go off a little bit more on intuition? Because I know there will be so many people fascinated to hear your kind of take on it. You mentioned a little bit the difference between instinct and intuition, which I loved cuz I, I feel that so deeply within myself. But from your lens, obviously through the work that you do and kind of a neuroscience-y lens, how do we access intuition? What does it feel like? How long does it take to arrive or drop in when we're in a situation? Can you just talk about intuition a little bit more?

I think people naturally align intuition with psychic skills, which I think is wrong, right? People were like, oh, I'm an intuitive. We're not talking here like all of a sudden I'm gonna give you logical questions and you're going to be able to, you know, read someone's Akashic Records. That's not what we're talking about here. Intuition is a state where we're able to transcend time-space. We're able to bring in energy. So an example would be, let's say you and I are having coffee. And something you do triggers me, if I know what I'm doing with Eli, I'm gonna be able to get myself more into syncing with your energy. And instead of thinking about what I'm triggered about, that something you did reminded me of somebody else, I'm gonna be able to actually sync my field with yours and actually feel into, no, where is she at right now? Because this sounds like a me problem and not her. So I'm able to actually pay attention to you in this exact moment in time-space rather than any preconceived notion or assumption that I've brought into the mix before I got to coffee. When we're talking about intuition, these are the things that are knowledge from not necessarily our knowledge bank of what we've accrued over time, but things that we just know right now. And for some people, sure, that could be things that are leaning more toward the psychic intuition, but for others, it would be more just that internal knowing. I can't explain why, It's not tied to all this other knowledge that I've had in previous relationships, but for some reason you just make me feel safe right now. So the reality is something that you could have done could have made me feel unsafe based on my past patterning. And if I'm able to interrupt that process with ELI questions and then I actually sit presently with you, I might actually get a sense in my body that's like, actually, no, she makes me feel really safe. So often the intuition can completely counter what our pattern was trying to trick us into believing if we're able to be fully present. So to me, intuition is a byproduct of being 100% present, which many people can't access until they do work like Break Method to emotionally rewire.

I'm curious how you feel about— I feel like in our world today there's a lot of trigger warnings for everything. We're talking a lot about what happens when you get triggered, you go into that emotional response. I'm curious from your perspective of, you know, working with so many people in their own— within their own triggers and really understanding this on a deep level, I feel like we've kind of gotten to this place where we almost assume that it's like society's responsibility, or the media's responsibility, or the podcaster's responsibility, or whoever, to like not trigger us, or to like tiptoe around the triggers, or to like cushion our triggers. Because you're someone that works directly on actually helping people heal those things, what's your perspective of, of kind of the way that society is nowadays where I don't know, I just feel like we almost feel like we have to babysit everyone's emotional responses. And from someone who works directly in that all the time, do you think that that's— we should keep doing that and that's valuable? Or do you think that it's, like you said, too much coddling to where it's actually not helpful to those people to actually heal? What's your perspective?

Our triggers are our responsibility, they're not other people's responsibility, and our triggers are actually our most profound teachers if we stop trying to avoid them. I tell clients this all the time: you cannot rewire a trigger that you refuse to be exposed to. It's literally not possible. And I think that is what happens in a lot of therapy containers, is your knowledge bank is hypothetical. If I did that, sure, I would know what to do, but you're not actually doing that while you're in it. When you're intentionally exposing yourself to triggers, which we do in Break Method, but you're not exposing yourself to it without strategy. Everything is very specifically timed. We're gonna do it this way at this time with this set of ELI questions so that when you go into it, it's like going into battle, but you have all the right tools or weapons to succeed in battle. I always tell people when we're in break, by the end of break, you will get excited when you find a trigger. And people in the beginning are like, that doesn't sound like me at all. But it's true, once you actually find all of those edges and then you overcome them and you realize these 4 things seemed insurmountable, but as soon as I did them with break, now they seem so ridiculous that I actually feel silly that I let them literally block my life progress for 10 years. Then you actually start to get excited when you find all these new edges. Like, for me, if I actually find something that triggers me, which is so rare, I get pumped up because that means I have— I've found an area where I've exposed where I've got more work to do.

No opportunity for growth.

I think when you do this right, triggers become exciting because they're opportunities rather than things that you want to avoid and back down from. But you have to have the right strategy and tools to learn how to turn them into an empowering experience rather than something that's gonna make you fall flat on your face.

Right, right. We are right now obviously in a mental health crisis in the world. What are your honest, unfiltered thoughts on how or why we've gotten to this place? Can you go off on that for a minute? Why, like, why is this—

why, why are we like this? This is multi-pronged. One of the factors is the generational shift in parenting styles. I would say that's probably the kingpin over generations. And we get to look at all this historical data in the work that we do because we do have clients that are in their 70s, their 60s, their 50s, their 40s, and so on. So we get to kind of parse through all of this data and understand generational patterns, which of course anecdotally many of us know them anyways, but now we have the data to tie to the anecdote. Back in, let's say, when we have a client that's in their 60s and 70s, the environment was just tougher. It was more of a fend for yourself, not coddling. Often people had many children, so you were like one of 10 or one of 13 kids. The neighborhood raised you, your parents would be like, don't come back until the sun goes down. Literally very, very different. Fight it out, kids. Fight it out, kids. Like, we're not gonna break it up. Or maybe even your discipline style, we would all sit here today and say is abusive, right? All of those things were very prevalent in previous generations. So the output of those inputs is typically a more emotional resilient tougher person that is able to navigate hardship in the world, typically with better outcomes, because they're just naturally tougher. And big piece of this is that they're not groomed to be self-centered, because they realize very quickly— maybe even so much that it, it is a detriment to them— that maybe I don't matter and I'm not actually that important. When you're one of 13 kids and you were raised in the '60s or '70s, very unlikely that you were raised to believe that you were the center of the universe. But if you were raised in the '90s or 2000s and so on, it's a lot more likely that you were raised to believe that you are the center of the universe. And then you introduce things like social media where now not only do my parents tell me I'm the center of the universe, but when I swipe and like and I get all this engagement, I, I'm the center of my universe. And then you're perpetually thinking about what other people think about you. These are the reasons that we are in such a profound mental health crisis, which we were already trending toward anyways, because I think fundamentally our entire mental health paradigm is flawed. And I have my thoughts on why that might be and why we have likely not tried to innovate and change it, but we can get to that. I think parenting and the influence of social media and the dopamine hits that we get from things like likes and chat rooms— that even when I was a little kid, remember, like, AOL chat rooms were just starting to be a thing— that was the first introduction where we've started to now move the majority of children born maybe after 1985 on into more of these right-side spectrum brain pattern types where they are naturally more self-centered. They're lacking self-trust. They're looking outside of themselves to solve problems from a place of learned helplessness, like, oh, this expert knows how to do this, or I want to be like this expert. Where we, instead of wanting to be ourselves, we're trying to emulate something else that we have latched on to, like celebrity culture or, you know, some social media influencer. These are the types of things that keep pushing us further and further into those right side spectrum brain pattern types, which ultimately report a low quality of life. When I get them as a client in our work, they're the ones that are marking suicidal ideation, relationship conflict. You know, they're— when we look at brain pattern typing, there are 200 different markers that we're looking at on the back end, and there's a very specific right side brain spectrum issue that we see that's very prevalent right now where they basically said yes to every single one of the issues that we track. For. Where on the left side you're much more likely to see things like anger or relationship conflict, where they'll pick like 2 out of 10. Some of the people on the right are picking like 10 out of 10 every single time because the world in their mind is stacked against them, even though the reality is they never learned how to be resilient and engage with their world and be aware of things outside of just their own singular perspective. Left side brain spectrum types are extremely situationally aware and less aware of relational interactions. So an example would be, if I'm, if I'm engaging in a conversation with you, it's taken me a lot of effort to try to tune out everything else that's happening in the room, which is interesting because simultaneously, if I'm working on something, I can get that tunnel vision. But if I'm in a room, let's say, with like 10 different people, my brain wants to actually scan for safety all the way around the room, so it could be hard for me to focus on just you. Whereas for somebody else, they are going to be fixated on all of your subtle little cues, or like how you move your shoulders, and maybe instead of thinking about what's happening in their environment, they're fixated on projecting what they think you think about them. That's essentially what has caused the mental health crisis that we're in today. Most of the people that are in severe crisis that we get in our work have those right side brain spectrum patterns. And there's a very specific cluster that if any one of your listeners or viewers does brain pattern mapping, one of the first things that you'll be shown is the brain pattern spectrum and you'll see 3 different circles. The far right circle is where we see the majority of people that are in mental health crisis. And unfortunately our entire world right now and our parenting styles and social media and magazines is built to concentrate those inputs, and of course that's what the output's going to be. Damn.

Well, if you guys are fascinated and curious about this, we'll leave a link in the show notes for you to grab and do your own, like, brain pattern mapping. Take the, like, go through the kind of assessment and do it for yourself. I'm also going to do it because, like I said, I'm fascinated by this. I can't wait to— I'm like, oh, what are the 5 types? You know, we love it. We love, like, a It's not a personality test, but you know what I mean? We love, we love to diagnose ourselves with something. So I'm sure people will love to kind of find out what their, what their brain pattern is. I'm super curious. Are there like, do you change between patterns when you start to heal or grow, or you always are just the same pattern?

So it's a constitutional pattern. So this would be like your brain's factory settings. When you look at the spectrum, it's divided in a left and a right half. What we have found is that over time when you're doing work like Break Method, we're getting you to have more dynamic range. So instead of always just responding from your brain pattern position where you're just automatically responding the same way, when you're learning Break Method skills, you're learning to be more dynamic. So you're, you're gaining the skills and variability of other pattern types on the spectrum, but ultimately that is the default setting where if you ever take your foot off the gas pedal or you get sick or life throws you a curveball, that's where your brain is going to try to pull you back to every time. So people get range and we want them to be more dynamic and ultimately get closer toward the center and how they're engaging with their world, because that will be perceived as peace for more people. But if people's position actually is naturally at the center, which does happen— I call it the center of complacency— when people's brain pattern position is actually in that center circle, we're actually trying to teach them how to take more calculated risks and actually be more dynamic on the outsides of the spectrum. So it's less like there's one place on the spectrum where we all want to be, and more that we're trying to help people learn how to have dynamic range so that they're not responding to everything one way, and they know how to adapt and pivot. And you need to hear me this way, and for me to be able to do well in this environment, I have to be able to show up this way. That's when we're able to be successful, because different people need different things from us, and we get to be a one-trick pony in a lot of ways, and we just decide people don't like us, where maybe there was a different way you could have spoken to that person that actually would have helped them understand your message. And this happens a lot on social media, where it's like if you, if you try to pivot at all, all of a sudden you start losing your followers. It's just a good example of how we can just kind of get stuck in this rut, and we ideally want to be able to not be in a rut at all. We want to be able to adapt for different audiences. Like, I shouldn't only be able to talk to people in my niche, right? And these are the types of things that ultimately in social media worlds do perpetuate this problem too. It's like, what's your niche? How do you talk to your niche? And then all of a sudden you have one post that's maybe like a different facet of yourself and it bombs, and people are like, no, just do that, stick to your niche. We need to, I think, get ourselves to a place where we're able to just be more dynamic and fluid, because I think really human beings are meant to be more that way, and we see more success when we can be dynamic and fluid.

Fluid. Yeah. And that's like, we all are, you know, people always talk about like, oh, I'm so multifaceted. I'm like, I've yet to meet a person who's not multifaceted.

I don't know.

I think we're all very multifaceted. Um, but the last thing that I wanna ask you about, cuz it kind of makes me think of, you know, we've talked a little bit about social media and how that contributes to where we are in the world, but obviously a buzzword with that is authenticity. And can you talk to me about the, our distorted concept of kind of having an authentic personality and why society wants us to accept the worst qualities and behaviors instead of really being incentivized to, to heal them.

Many people think that their brain pattern type is their authentic personality. And because of where we've gotten in terms of our social media sphere, our mental health crisis, I think there's been this push to just like radically accept yourself and that those aren't flaws, they're just who you are. I think all of these things at a more sinister level are meant to keep us stuck in our wounds, because ultimately trying to get somebody to just accept and then even put up on a pedestal our worst behaviors and then claim them as authentic is antagonistic to our survival as a human collective. I think ultimately we want to be able to become aware of things that may actually be generating negative outcomes, and instead of radically own them. We want to be incentivized, I think, to heal them and to become more regulated. When people use things like, well, we're just like this in my family, or an example would be, I was raised Jewish in New York City, it's very common to be like, oh, we're just like this, we're just New York City Jews. That's not necessarily true, right? Is it true that many people in my family may behave similarly in ABC ways? Of course. But if that's not actually getting me to where I want to go, or it's not building fruitful relationships, or it's not making me a great mom, even if that's just what we do is technically true, that doesn't mean that that's a reality that I want to just have to accept. I want to change it because we can actually change. And I think some more sinister force in this world that doesn't actually want us to be healed and able to self-regulate tries to trick us into thinking that we should just accept our dark parts and just kind of claim them radically, when the reality is we can heal. There are many pathways to healing, but the traditional mental health paradigm right now, I think, has shifted to just accepting and coping, which frankly, the whole word acceptance to me just makes me feel repulsed, because the idea of accepting something means it's not really what I want, but I'm gonna be okay with it.. And I don't think that that is going to get us to where we want to be as a society. And it's certainly not what I would want in my family or in my microcosm.

Yeah. That's so interesting. There's kind of like this, I see it almost like it weirds me out when I, when I see it, but there's like this romanticization almost of like how depressed or how anxious we are, or like, oh, I'm just an anxious girly or just anxious girly things. Or people even kind of, yeah, romanticizing or even bragging about like how fucked up they are.

Um, and to your point, trauma bond with other people that also romanticize the same label. And in general, I think labels are detrimental to us across the board. There are certain labels that, sure, they may give you some insight on things that you have to work on, but more often than not, people actually let the label become an excuse to not change the behavior, to not change their outcome, or to even just stop believing that they can change their outcome. And to this exact point, I think genetics actually is a similar sort of problem because now everything is, oh, it's genetic, I can't do anything about it, which I don't think is true either. There's so much evidence that supports that even if we're genetically predisposed to something, if we are able to, through something like Break Method, change our behavior, we're actually able to change how our genetics are expressed. So instead of just buying into this narrative that this is what— this is all genetic and there's nothing I can do about it. I think these are all similar traps as accepting, coping, this is just my authentic self, it's just my genetics. All of these things are ultimately puppet masters. I, I'm not gonna go on the show and say where I think it's coming from, though I certainly have some ideas. I think there's like these puppet masters that just do not want us to be healed and well, because when we're healed and well a lot of things in our world will naturally shift and people will become more aware of what's really going on in the world. And we're so distracted as a human collective with what's going on in the news and like war in Israel, and we're all this, you know, everyone's on all these opposite sides of things. These are all to me just distractions away from figuring out like what are we really capable of as humans. Do we need an AI upgrade or have we actually willfully ignored exploring through research our own spiritual technology? These are the questions that I ponder at night, which I think things like Big Pharma, big academia are all ultimately a string of the puppet master, but they are not the puppet master. There's something that doesn't want us healed and whole, and I do. So I'm willing to spend my career antagonizing whatever that structure is because I, I'm not willing to ascribe my destiny to that. I know that we're capable of more. I've seen people overcome years of mental health struggle where every other therapist or psychiatrist told them that they just had to cope with it forever, and it's just not true.

I have goosebumps because I feel that so deeply in my soul too. And I— this is like so incredible, and the work that you're doing is fascinating. I'm really excited for people to be able to read your book too because that's like such an amazing way to be able to get inside of your brain and all the research and all the work that you've been doing. So can you tell us where we can find the book, Your Brain Is a Filthy Liar?

You can get on my pre-launch list on my website at busygold.com. It's just on the very top navigation bar. The book officially comes out May 20th, and I'll be posting more information about pre-launch things. We are also doing a big book launch party in Scottsdale, so I'm going to be posting some information about that too. And we're going to do some different giveaways and things that people can engage with if they want to win a ticket to the book launch party in Scottsdale. And just a little bit about the book, because we've talked about it so much. Inside of the book, there is one page where you're able to scan the QR code to do brain pattern mapping. So whether you do that now or you do that once you've got the book, you will want to do that because then you have the pattern to read the rest of the book. So about 4 chapters in, where I've kind of given the foundational information, The rest of the book is tailored to each person's pattern, so it breaks down based on your brain pattern type. These are your patterns of self-deception. Here's your ELI questions. It literally gives you the whole prescription to, to deal with it so that you can kind of bypass this whole process and heal your life.

Very cool. Okay, awesome. Yeah, so if you guys can't wait, if you're chomping at the bit and you want to discover what your brain pattern is, you can do the brain pattern mapping on Bizzy's website. We'll link it below. You can use code DAILY for a discount. Or you can wait till the book comes out, grab the book, and then you'll have access to that as well. I'm so excited. I— that just made me pumped too because I like really want to read this book. Are you going to do an audio version?

Yes, the audiobook is going to come out at the end of June.

Okay, cool.

Yay!

Oh my God, amazing. Thank you so much, Bizzy. This has been fascinating. Can you also share with everyone, uh, where you are online? Like, what are the best ways to connect with you? What platforms you like to be on?

I'm mostly active on Instagram, and it's just @bizzygold, B-I-Z-Z-I-E-G-O-L-D. And you can look up any of our websites if you're interested in break Method. It's breakmethod.com, B-R-E-A-K, like you're gonna break something. And then busygold.com for all other things. And I— Break Method is my primary modality, but I also teach another modality for those of you that are more inclined toward the energetic spiritual called Somatic Movement Practitioner training. In the Somatic Movement Practitioner training, instead of taking it from kind of the brain intellectual level, we take it from the somatic level and how memories are actually stored in our fascia. And that also includes a variety of different techniques I would say tangential to hypnosis. They're not hypnosis, but my background is actually in hypnosis early on in my career, so there's some elements there. So I encourage you to look at both. They're two very profound practices, and I look at them as two different layers that are both important. So it really depends on the type of person, but we do train people in both modalities. So if you're a practitioner and you're looking to bring this into the healing work that you do, I encourage you to look at both of those— the Break Method and the Somatic Movement Practitioner.

Yeah, oh, very cool. There's going to be so many people listening to this that are like fascinated by that and, uh, might want to integrate that into their work and what they do in their healing practices. So very, very cool. We will make sure to link everything in the show notes below for you guys. If you have any questions, um, shoot Bizzy, uh, a message on Instagram. And if you enjoyed this episode, you found it fascinating, or you know someone in your life who would also froth on this conversation around mental health and breaking your your brain patterns and becoming that, you know, healed, whole version of yourself. Copy the link to this, send it to a friend in a message, let them know you were thinking of them. And if you would be so kind to take a screenshot of this episode, share it to your Instagram stories, tag Bizzy and I so that we can see who's listening. And we will talk to you guys next week. Thank you so much. Love you.

Bye!

If you loved this episode, make sure to check out the show notes where I've linked a few similar episodes I know you're also going to love. You'll find them under the similar episodes section in the description down below with direct links. You can dive in and start listening right away or add them to your queue for later. Binge away for even more growth, expansion, abundance, and fire motivation.