In this seventh episode of the series "Unleashing the Best from the Worst," Yusef‑Andre Wiley reflects on his turbulent youth in South Central Los Angeles—juvenile detention, gun possession, and early involvement in street life—and emphasizes that his criminal past is not a badge of honor but a cautionary tale. He describes a pivotal moment at age 18 when, seeking to leave the streets, he asked his probation officer to lift his probation in exchange for marrying his girlfriend, Andrea, with whom he already had a son. After confronting his parents and a skeptical church pastor, he leveraged religious doctrine (the prohibition against fornication) to persuade them to approve the marriage. The ceremony took place with the pastor officiating, and Wiley hoped the union would anchor him to a more stable, law‑abiding future, allowing him to attend church, secure housing, and raise his child away from gangs. Throughout, he frames his story as practical guidance for parents, mentors, and at‑risk youth, offering “clues, hints, tools” to avoid incarceration and develop a productive mindset. The episode ends with a call to subscribe for more stories.
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Welcome to episode 7, Unleashing the Best from the Worst. It's me again, Yusef-Andre Wiley, coming at you. Um, we talked about quite a bit so far about my life, about my experiences of growing up in the hood, growing up in South Central Los Angeles. I want to kind of take pause for a second here as we go into this next episode because a reminder not only for myself but for you that I don't want to give you any indication that my life of crime, going to prison being incarcerated is something like a badge of honor of some sort. It's not a badge of honor. It's a matter of fact. It's just a fact that I've experienced this thing, and the ultimate goal is to avoid from our children to ever have to experience what I've experienced. Prisons, jails, juvenile facilities still exist in this country, so we have to take what I share with you very serious. Much of what I talk about are indications, clues, hints, tools which will enable you as the listener or parent, mentor, whatever role you play in someone else's life or in your own life, it can save you. Save you not just from jail or prison, save you not just from making huge mistakes and finding yourself in bad circumstances, but help your mindset in your brain to develop in a way that is fruitful for your future. Develop your thinking habits in a way that prepare you for anything to come that's going to make your life successful. That, that's really at the end of the day. So even though I talk about the jails and the prisons and crime and these mistakes of making bad decisions as a teenager, as a, as a youth, it's not a badge of honor, it's just a matter of fact. So we left off talking about some of the encounters I had with the community, with members of the community, the lifeguard, the, you know, going to jail very young, carrying a gun. As I got older in the '80s, mid-'80s, '86, '87, getting out being back on the block and now turning 18. I'm an adult now, so the juvenile halls are over. The juvenile facilities, the Los Padrinos, the Central Juvenile Hall, the Sylmar camps, and all of these things— those days are over. I'm 18 years old and as a way to make me stay away from the streets, as a way to keep me from committing crimes again. As I turned 18, I went to my probation officer and I asked him, I said, look, it's time for me to get off probation. I'm 18. Um, I'm going to marry my, my girlfriend and I'm going to change my life. He said, okay, you get married, man, you know, I definitely will put in for you to get off of probation. That's what he told me. So now it's the idea of pitching this idea to my parents, and not more just an idea, I mean I was a young, young, young man and I loved my girlfriend. We already had a son together, Andrew, and it was time to take life serious. So I approached my parents. I approached my mom, I approached my dad, and they were actually in the home at the time I walked in. And I asked them what was they up to. I was like, you know, I normally don't do that, you know, I'm a young youngster. I'm like, what are y'all up to? And my mom was in the kitchen preparing dinner. My dad was sitting at the table reading a newspaper. And that's what When my moms realized me asking them what was they up to, they knew I had something to ask of them. So I just came out and said it. I said, so y'all know, you know, me and Andrea been together for a little while, and, uh, you know, I want to get married. We're going to get married. And my mom immediately said, you too young, boy, to be talking about marriage, to get married. And, uh, my dad, he didn't say anything yet. He just sitting there listening. And, um, I said, well, I want to get married. And, um, you know, I think it's the right thing to do. We already have a son together, and I think it's the right thing to do. So then my father said, well, let's talk to the minister. Let's talk to our our minister, our pastor, if you would, and bring him in on it. And I said, okay. So I go get on the phone and call Andrea and told her, I said, hey, you know, I talked to my parents about us getting married, but they want us to talk to the minister. And she was like, the minister? Oh man. Shortly thereafter, my parents made contact with her parents, called them and asked them did they know that we were thinking of getting married. And they didn't know yet because I had— she hadn't told them yet, I don't believe. And so they scheduled a day for them to come to our house, for Andrea's parents to come to our house. And, uh, you know, they— we, we scheduled that with the pastor, with the minister. And that day of that, this all was supposed to happen, I wasn't there. I wasn't— I was late. I was running late. I was, I was still in the street I was still being influenced by the streets, by hanging out in the community, hanging out in the neighborhood, right? And so they were all there already, you know, my girlfriend was there, Andrea, my parents, her parents, they were already at the home. So I'm already driving, I pull up in my car, my Cutlass, 1978 Cutlass Supreme. Green with a white vinyl top. As I approach your house, I see, um, the curtain from our bedroom— I mean, from the living room window— open slightly because, you know, that anticipation that where this boy at, right, from my parents. So I, I get there and I walk in and you can feel the tension. It's a little tension. In the room, you know, as maybe some conversations that have already happened, and it's a little tense in there. Plus, it don't make it no better that I'm late. I'm running late, and I walk in and I look around at everybody. Hey, how y'all doing? What's going on? And when I sat down, I actually sat at the dining area They were sitting in the living room area. We were facing each other, so I, I, I was kind of sitting away from everyone else, me coming in late. Plus I smelled like marijuana, smelled like weed, so I didn't want to sit too close. The minister, the pastor, he immediately began the conversation. He kicked it off, um, with a prayer and So he looks at— glances over at me and Andrea and my parents and say, "So I hear, Andre, that you want to get married. You're ready to get married. You want to get married. And, you know, before you walked in the room, we talked a little bit, and I honestly believe you guys are young, too young to be really thinking about marriage. You know, you got potentially school to complete and maybe education, furthering your education. And so he started— as he's speaking, I already see that it's not on our side. They're, they're, they're not for us getting married. They're that. And so I'm feeling— I'm starting to feel a little anxiety and a little frustration as he's talking and sharing why are the reasons why I shouldn't get married, uh, we shouldn't get married. And he's talking and talking, and I'm thinking to myself, is he gonna let me get something in? Am I gonna be able to say anything? So I interrupted. I said So, um, y'all don't want to see us get married, so look what I do. I use the church card. I use the Christian way of doing things card on them. I said, so we girlfriend and boyfriend, you want us to just keep having sex and all this and not be married? You want us to just keep on— we already got a kid, so obviously we having sex. So I see my mom and people putting their head down, oh Lord, like, and I'm telling them like, look, you know, we should be married if we're gonna be still having sex. That's how I got them to agree to allow us to get married. In fact, he married us, our church minister, our church pastor. Actually married us. And, you know, we planned the big wedding from there on, from that point. And but I used that, and I was able to use that, you know, that method, that, that play on the church and Christianity, that, hey, we're not supposed to be having sex, that's fornication, we're gonna be fornicating. In fact, that's the word I use. I said, we're gonna be fornicating. I said, we're going to continue to be fornicating, which is against the Bible. And so it was like, okay, all right, all right, you know, let's talk about it, let's work it out. And I told him that my sister Donna would help plan the wedding and things like that. And so I got married. So I ended up getting married at a very young age, 18 years old, 19. I was turning 19, so I, I So I was in fact 19 when we were married, and, um, very interesting, uh, uh, event, chain, uh, turn of events from, from that day forward as we got married and, um, planned the wedding. So this is it. I'm sorry, you hear, you hear the sirens in the background. You hear that? Yeah, so I'm in LA. I'm in downtown LA today, so that's a regular occurrence I can't block out. Just, uh, keeping it real with you. Um, so, you know, getting married with the hope that now, okay, I could take life serious. The gangbanging, the the drugs and alcohol and all of the stuff that I was doing at the time. Now maybe, maybe, maybe I'm going to become a better person. Maybe now this is a chance for me to break away from the fellas, break away from the homies, break away from the streets, get a place, me and my new wife, get a house and, you know, raise our son and you know, move on with life and leave this life of crime and gangbanging behind. This is the hope. This is at least what I was hoping in my mind. I believe I was sincere at the time that I said that. I began going to church regularly with my new wife and Imperial Church of Christ right there on Imperial and San Pedro, my parents' church. That they raised me in right there in the hood, South Central LA. And let's see how things go from here. Now that I'm married, it's 1988. It's, you know, hey, 1988 and I just got married and I have a son. Let's see how life gets from here. See you on the next episode. If you haven't subscribed, please subscribe. There's a lot more to come. There are some serious, uh, stories to come, so stay tuned. Peace. See you on the next episode.
