Climbing The Three Mountains of Life: Men’s Path to Purpose

Three car garage. I'd never seen a house like this. Huge staircase. And here comes down this young man, he must have been 19. And I look at him and go, hey bro, what do your parents do for a living? And he looks at me and he's like, this isn't my parents house, this is my house. That's all I needed to hear and see, to have a reference point of okay, we can. There's. This is possible. My last eight figure company was the largest millennial online publication in the United States. We sold it to the daily mail for 50 million. Rooting in this chapter of my life is important to balancing bringing tradition. What are the traditions that you're creating for your life? What are the traditions you're creating for your legacy? What are the traditions you're creating for your family?

Welcome to the Path to Purpose podcast where I share incredible conversations with amazing humans who went through a pivotal shift in their lives that have put them on their path of purpose, profit and impact. My name is Zaraq Fatah. I am a serial entrepreneur and life coach. I went through my own transformational journey where I'm now committed to living a life of inspiration, education and empowerment. My intention is to share these conversations so they inspire you to also walk your path to purpose. Welcome to the Path podcast. Today I have a very special guest that I'm excited to introduce because this is someone that I would consider to be a mentor, someone. Somebody that I have learned a lot from watching, learning from a distance, and now I'm going to learn up close and personal as Mr. Gerard Adams is sitting here with me today in Medellin, Colombia. For those of you that don't know him, he is a serial entrepreneur of more than two decades. He's had multiple seven and eight figure businesses that he's exited. He's a devoted father. He's a man of integrity. He is a homie that we've had some fun dance parties and hangouts, and he is here today to share his story with all of you of his path to purpose, profit and impact. And I'm just so grateful to have Gerard here in Medellin, Colombia with me for this conversation. So thank you for joining us today. And Mr. Adams, thank you, sir, for being here. Yeah, yeah.

It's an absolute honor to be here. And watching your path has been also inspiring. Thank you for those kind words and I really received that. And to be able to have this conversation in this chapter of my life in the country that my mother was born, my grandfather is from, means a lot and so thank you for having me on the show.

Yeah, man. Well, I appreciate you coming out to spend some time and it's an honor to host you here. You know, last night when you were having dinner together, just hanging out, kicking it, you know, it felt kind of surreal because, you know, to be quite honest, I have been following you on social media for the last four, five years, actually. And, you know, a lot of what you shared has always resonated with me. And, you know, it's one of those things where you see someone on social and you know so much about them. And you, you know, of course our friendship has been evolving over the last few years, but then it's like, damn, Gerard's here in Medellin and we're hanging out, having dinner, like, kicking it, you know, and it was one of those moments where I, like, this is really cool because I've learned a lot from you from a distance, you know, with your content creation, with how you. How you take a stand powerfully for what you believe in. You know, like, you aren't afraid to put yourself out there and express authentically and vulnerably. You're like, you share very personal things, and I can relate to that because I do my best to do the same as well. And you having such a large platform, it takes something to really, like, put yourself out there the way that you do. So, you know, I just want to acknowledge you for that and I just want to say thank you for, you know, all that I've learned from you over the past, you know, four or five years. And I'm excited for this conversation and I'm also excited for the co creation of what. What we've been talking about that we're going to, you know, we're going to drip a little bit in later on. But for now, you know, you have such a fascinating story, and this podcast could be three hours if we really got into it. And I would just love for you to share, you know, what put you on this path of purpose that has also included profit and now, most importantly, impact. You know, because for those of you who know you or know of you, they, you know, they know this version of you, but they don't know the come up and they don't know what you went through. And what was that pivotal moment where you took a step back and was like, okay, what am I really here for?

Yeah, you know, it's. As I was saying, I mean, to have this conversation in this chapter in my life is. Couldn't be more divine timing because I just recently had another one of those moments, especially becoming a father. I have a 2 year old baby girl and shout out to my daughter, Skyla Vera. And becoming a father was another one of those moments for me where it was this gut check, you know, and caused me to really evaluate my connection to God, to spirit, my time management, energy management, my focus and my aim. Where am I going? What am I here for? What is that purpose? How can I create the biggest possible impact while I can, while I'm alive? What is legacy in this chapter of my life? How do I live it authentically? How do I live it in harmony and be an inspiration to my daughter? Because I want her to be proud of me and I want her to see me as her hero and to be inspired to go. And I tell her every night when I put her to bed, honey, I always say, I go, you can dream whatever you want, so dream big. And for whatever reason, that's just what comes out. Since the moment I started putting her to bed because I wanted her dream big. And growing up, it was hard to dream big. I didn't know what big really was. I grew up with humble beginnings, blue collar family. My dad worked his butt off my mom. Similarly, they worked as a team, six, seven days a week at a supermarket. That was my first job, working shelves and produce and cashier. And just like I come from a family of hustlers, you know, that really built and taught me work ethic. But even before that, when I think about my path and why this conversation is so meaningful is because of the fact that I'm in Colombia and my mom was born here, came to America. My grandfather, when he came on a ship to America, was a dishwasher, worked on a ship. And to be sitting here today visiting and thinking about the life that I have created in this chapter of my life, nearing my 40s, creating multimillion dollar businesses, a life of abundance beyond anything I could have imagined when I was young, providing at a level that I'm very proud of for my family, including my parents, including my sisters, just really being a great. I say to myself now, I kind of affirm to myself every day, which has been difficult, but I am a great son, I am a great man, I am a great father. And it's taken me, it takes me a lot to get to that place of affirming that, but I'm proud of that, especially because my grandfather was a dishwasher. To think just a generation ago, two generations, they were struggling so much. My mom came to this, came to America from this country. As a little girl, the oldest of her brothers and sisters and the one bedroom studio apartment they had in Jersey City caught on fire. And part of my path was my mom telling me this in a rock bottom moment in my life and telling me they lost, they came to the country with nothing. And now everything that they had burnt to the ground. And she's telling me this crying. And it was then when I really started to recognize how grateful, how privileged the sacrifices that have been paved for me to have the opportunity to go out there and become successful. And so my mom motivated me and it's really cool because Mother's Day is right here. And thinking about the sacrifices that she's made. My father, my grandparents. But it was hard to dream big when I was young. It was like I didn't see success. We didn't have mansions around our neighborhood, we didn't have people driving around Ferraris and limb. I never saw one of those, it was all like magazines. I was a kid who was cutting that stuff out of magazines and just trying my hardest to imagine what a life would be like to be successful, to give back to my family. And luckily entrepreneurship found me. You know, I never even knew of what entrepreneurship that, that could be a career path. It was like go to college, get a good job, get a good education. And I had a hustle spirit at a very young age. You know, hustling everything from Mark Echo T shirts to weed, to take IDs to whatever I could, I could hustle throughout, you know, even lollipops when I was even younger than that, you know, so I kind of had that in me. And the, the, the first part of my path that I'll share that changed everything to me was finding a mentor. And so thank you for acknowledging me as a mentor because we are truly standing on the shoulder of giants. I think anyone who believes that they are self made, it is absolute bullshit. There are just, there are people that have played a role in our lives for us to become who we are. And sometimes it's not always the mentor that's giving you the right advice. Sometimes it's the shit that goes wrong that's been most valuable to me in my life. The things that people have done but I've witnessed or I've experienced or been betrayed and things that happen, I said, okay, you know, how does, how does this now shape who I am going forward to be even more of a man of integrity? And thinking about that, even just observing my family at home, growing up and seeing them struggle you know, and, and, and that inspiring me and, and really recognizing. I don't, I don't, I don't want to have that struggle. I don't want to be fighting over credit card debt and how to pay the bills and, you know, and have this anger and rage and trying to make ends meet. And I want to figure out how can I have this life of abundance? And so we can talk more about the path. But yeah, that, that beginning path of find, going out and seeking, you know, I seeked mentorship. There's gotta be someone. I remember being 18 years old, feeling like a failure because all my homies were going into good colleges and I couldn't get into a good college. I got to a community college at the time and I just was seeking it. Does anyone know anyone who's made it? And I knew the stock market was a path. My dad would talk to me about it. I loved Gordon Gekko and like the Wall street and things like that. And so it was like, does someone know anyone who's understood the stock market? Who's made it? And finally one kid was like, yeah, yeah, I know someone. I went to school with him. He used to day trade during detention. And he's, you know, and he made it, you know, and I'm like, you got to introduce me. And I'll never forget the day that he drove me up to one of these rich towns and pulling up these hills and pulling into this driveway, and I pulled down this driveway, three car garage. I'd never seen a house like this in ground pool. I walk in this home, pool table, huge staircase. And here comes down this young man, he must have been 19, 20 years old. And I look at him and go, hey bro, what do your parents do for a living? And he looks at me and he's like, this isn't my parents house. This is my house. And I was like, in that moment, that's all I needed to hear and see, to have a reference point of, okay, we can, There's. This is possible, right? Sometimes all we need is just that, that view you talked about being peripheral. Sometimes we need to be able to see the horizon, see, you know, the, the possibility and the expansion of, of, of what's possible. See someone who, who has done it. And, and there's truly. And I believe that even now as a father, it's like, what is stopping you from going out there and living a high quality life and achieving the highest level of what success looks like for you?

Your belief that is possible, Right? And that's why Mentorship. And that guy, for you, he was like an expander when you met him. Be like this 19 year old has all this, well, wait a minute, if this guy has this, why can't I have this, right? And this is why. Being a part of communities as we've talked about before, where you're, you know, shoulder to shoulder with people who have really made it and, or you're next to someone who's 19 and trying to figure it out and you being the expander for them is crucial for your success because until you see it, it's, until you can actually witness the proof and believe that you can have it for yourself, it'll never be possible. And in that moment, something clicked for you.

It clicked. It was like, okay, I could do this. And it's true. We gotta, it's like whatever you do believe, that is the going to be the truth. If you don't believe that you can do it, then that's it, you're not gonna be able to do it. It really does start there. And that gave me the, that gave me the belief amongst some other things. You know, my grandmother, who my daughter's middle name is after, she was someone who really believed in me. And so those people in our life that believe in us, that's important.

We need our children, so important.

And we got to be the one that believes in us more than anything. You know, it's the one thing that Kanye is a little bit crazy, but I look at him and say, how can I, how can I believe myself a little more like that, you know, and, and really have that confidence. Elon. Or I look at some of these, you know, different role models and how they carry themselves. Tom Brady, recently after retiring, and how he's carrying himself, how he's doing interviews and there's a conviction, you know, there's a conviction in that, in, in your path. Yeah, but it's only your path. It's like you got to be convicted in your path. You got to walk it and you got to believe in it every step of the way. And you're going to get hit, you're going to get knocked down. I can't tell you. Most people see me, you know, with, with the millions of dollars and now, now this, a lot of external success and internal success that didn't come without me having scars, getting knocked down, getting back up and that's. That to me is like what has fortified my resilience to be able to know that, you know, anything is possible. If I don't give up, I Believe. And you know, I surround myself with the right individuals and so I've seek mentorship throughout my entire life. I'm still doing it today and I'm still seeking out those, those people that I'm rubbing shoulders with. Just recently at an event where we meet a young guy in his 30s, actually 30, you know, built a $2.5 billion fund and I'm like, oh, okay, this is possible, right? For the. I'm like starting to think, okay, how can I, how can I think? Much bigger. Like, I know there's a men out here that you know what I'm talking about. Right. Like, do you ever feel like, okay, like it's time to play much bigger game, like it's time to play to our edges and you have to recognize that when you get a little content in your zone, you know, and I've been recognizing that and that's another reason why I've been, that's why I came out here. It's why I'm starting to expand and starting to go out there and network more so that I can start playing a little more to my edges. And I'm excited about this next part of my path in this chapter.

Yeah. And, and to your point about meeting these individuals who have achieved a success, like when you met this 30 year old, you're like, this guy's 30, he doesn't know more than I do. You got a decade on that 30 year old. But he had the belief and he took action that was aligned with creating it and he made it possible. And, and you know, often when we meet these people who have achieved success greater than wherever we're at, we realize there's no, they're no smarter than I am, they're no more connected than I am. Yeah, they don't work harder than me. It's just they have that belief and then they have that vision. That's why, you know, as we both coach entrepreneurs on the inner work, the imposter syndrome, leaning into the shadow work to see, okay, what is there in your belief system that has you questioning whether or not you're worthy or whether or not it's possible for you. Right. And it's overcoming those limiting beliefs that then clear the way to make it possible. Otherwise you're going to keep, you know, playing small. You're going to keep holding yourself back. Right?

Yeah. 100. 100. And I just believe also, you gotta, you gotta dig deep and figure out what is this new chapter in your life of what is that? Why?

Yes.

Like at this chapter, like, what's the why? Why is it important to you and how can you connect to something bigger than you?

Yeah.

If you're not connected to something bigger than you, if you're not connected to, you know, God's will and playing a bigger game and like I'm praying every day, God, like, I want the responsibility and surrendering to your will. And also I'm digging down personally, I think of like the mic micro and the macro, you know, the macro being like, I want to be of service and play the biggest game possible and to serve God and to, to surrender to God's will and how he can use me for, you know, impacting this planet and impacting this world and being an example of what it means to be a leader and a man today and a father today and a brother today, as well as the daughter that I, my daughter that I had. Like the micro is again, like that, that micro. Why?

Of.

Well, if I'm going to take time away from my daughter, if I'm going to take time away from my family, I better freaking do something that's really important in the world. And I think finding that why for you, for me, back in my early 20s, it was my mom I wanted to give back to my parents. I wanted to make them proud, I wanted to take care of them. Now I've accomplished that. Now I have a baby. It's like, okay, I want to make her proud and I want to be able to inspire her by playing big.

And help make the world a better place because she's going to inherit that.

Right?

Right. Like the, the mess that we're currently dealing with. You know, it's up to us, right? We're the generation to disrupt patterns and to elevate our consciousness and do our own inner work so that we don't, we don't continue the trauma, continue the patterns that are prevalent in today's society. You know, and, and I do feel this is a very pivotal time in, in human, in our civilization because so much is, so much is shifting, so much is changing, so much is being revealed. And you know, one thing that you and I speak a lot about that we're both super passionate about is redefining the role of the masculine.

Yeah.

What does it mean to be powerful? What does it mean to be influential? What does it mean to be rich? Right. What does it mean to be of service? Because there are a lot of very wealthy, hurt little boys in old, in older man's bodies that are making choices from a place of hurt and greed and fear. And you Know, as I said before, why I admire you for taking a stand is you're not afraid to be vulnerable and speak to the pain, to the shadows, to the things you've had to overcome. Because when you do that, you give permission to the other men. You are that example. Which is why I'm very open and raw. Because, you know, some people would look at us and admire our lifestyle and what we've built and created. And I know for myself, a lot of what I've created has come from a place of pain, from bullying, from racism, from not feeling like I fit in. And even though I've achieved a lot of success, that didn't make that hurt little boy feel better about himself until I had to go and, you know, and make peace with him and let him know he's safe. And I feel that there's a lot of powerful men out there, a lot of influential men out there who are still operating from a place of that hurt little boy. And that's why I think the work that you're doing, the message that we're putting out there to make men feel safe, to confront those fears, confront that pain, heal that. So you can now be of service from a place heart led, not ego led. Right? And Eckhart Tolle speaks about outer purpose and inner purpose. And I love to reference that because, you know, on our come up, yeah, we want the car, the watch, the house, the women, all the stuff that we. We're told, yo, if you're a man, this is going to make you happy. You're powerful, right? And you get all that, and you're like, okay, now what? Right? And as you said before, our inner purpose that greater why actually has nothing to do with us. It's about who do we get to be for others. Yeah, how do we get to now turn around and give a helping hand to the next, you know, generation coming up, and the cars, the watches, the homes, the jets, all that stuff feels nice. But nothing feels better than knowing that the time that you're sharing, the energy that you're given to someone in need is gonna change the trajectory of their life. You know, there's nothing that feels better than that. And I feel that, you know, that is a mission that we're both on. You know, we are walking this path in parallel. And, you know, it's beautiful to witness this evolution that you're on because you're a force, you know, you're connected and you have the resources and the knowledge and, you know, you had created a lot before you got to this point. And I know, you know, with Elite Daily and the success of that, you know, when you. When that chapter closed for you, because, I mean, for most people on their come up, that's what they want. They want to build a company, want to scale it, and then they want to sell it for 7, 8 figures, 9, 10 figures, whatever. And they're chilling and, you know, God willing that you do, but, you know, I never hit those kind of numbers, but I got to a point where the money just didn't really change much. So I'd love to hear about that from you because I know there's many people out there watching or listening to this who are, like, wishing they could have that kind of exit. Right?

Yeah. Oh, man. So I call this. So I have this concept, the three mountains. And we'll talk about this throughout this podcast of the three mountains that I believe that we go on as son, man, father, and also just the journey that we go on as leaders. And that first mountain, to me is this mountain of us proving ourselves and getting validation. And we want to get that external success. And the truth is that it's. It's awesome. Like, I mean, when I achieved it, I was definitely had no idea about this inner work at all. I was all over the place, reckless, careless. I was a rebel, and I'm so grateful for that. This chapter of my life, you know, looking back at it and the mistakes I made and. And the ways that I was able to give back to my family, like I mentioned to you, like, that was part of my first initial. Why. But yes, I. At the end of that, conquering this mountain of the financial success, the peak of that for the first mount for me, was scaling my last eight figure company, Elite Daily. It was the largest millennial online publication in the United States. We sold it to the daily mail for 50 million. And at the top of that mountain, I was like, okay, this is it, right? And I'll never forget. True story. I get the phone call wires hit your account. You did it. I hang up the phone, I'm in my apartment in New York, and I had no. I was numb. I didn't understand, and I was depressed. I literally was just like, I messed up. We could have built so much more. We could have sold for a billion dollars. I was really resenting and regretful and sad, depressing. And I called up a couple of my homies, my two best friends, Nick and Mike. And they were like, they were the first people I called. And my father and my best friends were like, that grew up with me in a small town in New Jersey. And they were like, gee, you've always been this kid that's jumped out of a plane without a parachute, man. And somehow you figure it out on the way down. He's like, do you realize what you just did? Like, coming from where we come from, like, there's no one that's done what you have done. And they were like, bro, like, you did it. And then they kind of started speaking some life into me. And that. That felt really. That felt good. But I still didn't. I still, like, it couldn't hit me. And then I called my dad, and he was like, you know, don't tell anybody. Oh, my God. You know, And. And. But it just. I was. I was depressed, man. And I remember going to Florida. I had a really amazing penthouse I was looking at to buy, like, the place that we're at right now doing this show. What a view. And I go out on the balcony, and I just. In that feeling of sadness, like, is this it? Is this really all of that for this? Like, this doesn't make any sense. Like, am I supposed to just get more exotic cars and another penthouse? And I just prayed. I literally, in that moment was like, I prayed and I asked God for guidance, and I said, God, like, why did this happen for? Like, I know this can't be it. I know it can't be because of just making millions of dollars and why. And it was in that moment of prayer and presence that I felt this, like, lightning to my heart of, like, because you're meant to step into the mentor role. Like, you're meant to give back. You're meant to help others to understand what it means to become a leader. And. And it was like, this is. There's a purpose to this. And that kind of led me to the second mountain, you know, where I was like, okay, I need to go and find purpose. What is this purpose thing where everyone's talking about? Right? I thought the purpose thing was to build and scale and sell the company and have the millions of dollars and, you know, and all of that. And it wasn't. And so I went on this search, and it was through the second mountain, which is the spirituality piece, which is starting to question things, starting to get in touch with your spirituality again. For me, it was going back to where I grew up. And so my father and my grandparents, when they immigrated on my father's side, was in Newark, New Jersey, which is now the projects. It's on the come up again now. There's investment going there. But at this time it was like the hood. And I had got asked to speak in Silicon Valley and these amazing places where you saw investment going to entrepreneurs. And I said, why isn't this happening in inner cities? And so for me, the purpose was go back and build an incubator and help build this inner city. The issue with the second mountain is that you can start to be of purpose and you can create all the impact in the world. But if you haven't healed that part of you from the first mountain, that's still this hustler, that's the external validation, that's the go, go, go, grind, grind, grind more and more and more. Now it's maybe just not the millions now it's just, you know, the impact. You could still find yourself pretty sad and lonely. And I felt pretty sad and lonely. And that's kind of when I really decided to take a step back and go way deeper into my spiritual path. And that kind of has led me to the third mountain, which we can talk more about. But yeah, that first mountain. You know, I think a lot of individuals feel, feel that in one way or another that it's, we get to have it all. I mean, I'm at a chapter now where yes, we get to be wealthy, we get to be rich, we get to have all these things. I love yachts and I love luxury and high quality, having a high quality life. But we get to make sure to prioritize the true internal success. Knowing we're worthy, knowing that we, you know, that we are loved. Being connected to God, being connected to our purpose, as you mentioned, and really appreciating the simple things in life beyond all of that, because those things don't necess, those things are great. But if we don't love ourselves, if we don't feel whole, if we don't heal that little boy and create safety for that little boy and know that he is enough and heal that father wound and reparent yourself and heal the father wound and heal the mother wound and really heal with compassionate forgiveness, that lineage and recognize that we are the torchbearers. And the things that we're passing, as you were just mentioning so beautifully, it's like the thing that I want to pass down to my, my daughter more than anything is not the, is not all the. I want, of course I want to pass down wealth, but more than anything I want to pass down a new level of consciousness, a new level of connection to, to God, a new level of beliefs that are no longer from, like you mentioned the trauma from the, the past. As torch bearers, we get to break the chains. And so that that work has actually become my favorite work now, more than the building of the companies and all that. It's the breakthroughs in every day, working on the self mastery. And how do I become even more fortified in my sacred masculine in my decision making? How do I become even more sober and, and connected to God and leading from that heart space and then seeing the results from that. That to me has been the greatest game that I've learned to play outside of entrepreneurship.

Yeah. And this is something that I wish for all men, not just the successful men, for all men to realize that we have trauma. And this is something that a lot of men don't like to speak about. It's why a lot of successful men are successful. And when you get to that point where you have the money and maybe you get the exit or you got millions or billions in the bank, there's still that thing that's missing. And no car, yacht, women, cocaine, whatever it is that helps to numb that pain that's deep, deep inside. Nothing is going to take that away until you're willing to face it. And the best thing you could give your daughter, and of course, you know, this is showing her an example of what the healthy masculine looks like. Have her grow up feeling safe.

Yes.

Believing there are good men out there. Because, you know, we touched on this briefly last night over dinner. A woman's most important relationship with a man is her father.

Yes.

That's going to dictate who she chooses in life, vice versa, with the man, with his mother. Right. And yeah. And you being that healthy, embodied, high quality man as an example for your daughter is going to set the standard for who she calls into her life. Right. Because when I speak to people who are just repeating the same relationships over and over again, it's because they haven't healed the, that initial, initial trauma with their parents. Right.

100%. I mean, a lot of the relationships that we were, even when I look back at my relationships, I've been doing a lot of work right now on the mother wound because I've done a lot on the father wound leading up to becoming a dad. It was very intentional that I wanted to become a dad. On my show. I got to interview Garrett White, who is one of the, I think, one of the greatest leaders building a men's movement in the world. Wake up, warrior. Shout out to Garrett White. He's such an inspiration. He's such a force. I got to interview him and my, my show is a docu series, so we really go behind the scenes and document their lifestyle. And then. And by the time I was at the end of that show with him, he looks at me and he says, you know, G, you've, you've, you built, you sold companies, all things. But he's like, the next big accomplishment, the next big endeavor that you get to go after. He's like, you really want fulfillment. He's like, it's not the next hundred million dollar company. It's becoming a father. It's starting a family. And I mean, he said, just felt it.

Yeah. I was like, it's like, it's like.

It'S like kind of been avoiding this a little bit. I've been trying to kick that can a little bit. But I knew that, that deep down as a man, my father would always say to me, a man isn't truly a man unless he takes care of his family. It was, you know, he talked about family and, and I knew it. And so I was very intentional with now becoming a dad. And so I did a lot of work healing the things that I've had to face off with, with my dad. And really things that have been passed down through my dad. Like, I have so much compassion for my dad, like, the toughness that I've gotten from my dad because of what he's had to go through. And there was trauma. But what's really beautiful about the healing of the trauma that we face off is, is it can alchemize to gratitude.

Absolutely.

And gifts. Like, we can't just be victims here about our freaking lineage. It's about really taking our power back. And I have so much gratitude. I would not be the man I am today for exactly what I had, how I was raised with my mother and my father. So we can't look at, oh, we got to heal the father wound and the mother wound because, you know, we're victims to all this circumstance. No, we chose this life and we chose our parents, and we chose our parents. This is, this is our sacred story. So that's the beauty of it. When we face off with it. Right. It's kind of like that Bruce Lee movie, man, when he has to face off with that, you know, that monster. You know, it's like when we face off with these things, we conquer these things, we, man, we can evolve and break through to these new versions of ourselves that are capable, more than capable of now holding a higher capacity to lead, to serve, to love, to. And that's why we're Here. And so, you know, I was. I did a lot of work on the masculine side. That was deep, hard work. But because of that work, my daughter, her soul said, yes, that's my. That's Daddy. Yeah, I feel safe. I haven't done as much on the mother's side because my mother's just been the best mom in the world. And recently, after my separation, I've been really looking at and. And now perfect time. And it's so perfect because I was reading the Bible this morning, and I opened it up randomly to Luke 1, the whole story of Mary and giving birth to Jesus. And I was like, what are the chances of that? It's so present right now in my life, and it's helping me because as men, what we don't realize is the women that we're attracting in our life is based on the mother wound.

Absolutely.

The men that women are attracting in their life is based on the father wound. And so you. My goal is I want to attract a woman that is healed and that. Or is that as elevated or never even had the wound in the first place of that I've been manifesting in my life because I haven't actually healed that little boy that had a mother. That was a very particular way with me growing up, which was amazing. But there was definitely like, oh, wow. Why am I feeling like I'm dating women that are so overbearing, controlling just, you know, really on top of so much and not trusting, you know? And I recognize that in my mother, and I love my mother with all my heart. But I'm going now into that little boy, and I'm telling him, hey, you're trustworthy. Hey, brother, I got you. I love you. And I'm starting to learn how to create healthy boundaries. And because of that healing work, alchemizing that and coming into a deeper love for my mother and a deeper compassion of a mother who just wanted so bad to. To take care of me, make sure I was okay. And now, through that newfound awareness and healing, not only is my relationship, my mother going to be even more beautiful, but now I can start to attract women that are no longer the representation of the hurt little boy that had the overbearing mother.

Yeah. Yeah. And I could so relate to that, because where your mother was very over. Well, she was very affectionate, very involved, very Colombian. Yeah, I had a bit of the opposite. So for me, it's always about wanting to win the approval of the feminine. Always having to be like, careful that I don't do something that I'M going to have her love taken away from me, you know, and I, you know, in preparation for wanting to meet my divine partner, wanting to start a family, you know, I went to the Hoffman process last year because I realized there are things from my relationship with my father and my mother that, that have played a part in why I am 49 years old and still single, you know, and that takes something. For anybody watching, listening to this right now, if you are repeating patterns in your relationships, if you are wondering why am I not meeting that person? Why are they, why do I keep meeting the same kind of guy or same kind of woman? Heal the relationship with your mom or your dad, because when you heal that, then karmically you're, you know, you're, you're breaking that generation. Yeah, exactly. And what I've noticed is after I did the Hoffman process and after I came home with a deeper love and gratitude for my parents, recognizing I chose them specifically for who they are with all their imperfections because those challenges, my father being an alcoholic, my mom, you know, not wanting to be in the marriage, impacted me in a way that taught me things that I could have only learned by way of that, you know, soul journey with my parents. And in seeing my mom and my father for who they are and loving them and appreciating them regardless of what they did or didn't do, shift in my energy towards them. My mom is more loving now. My mom now sends me messages saying I love you, which she never sent before. She sent me funny photos of herself. She gives me hugs now. Like my mom never gave me hugs before. Like, you know, like I, I would try hugging my mom. She'd just stand there awkward, you know, not knowing how to be hugged. Because my mom, my mom was never hugged. You know, my mom was taken away from her mom when she was five years old. My mom grew up in a house with a bunch of kids that she was tiny little woman, you know, like she's like 4 foot 11 and she's had to be tough and have to be cold and have to really fight, you know, know, just to survive. And when I hug my mom now, I let her know you're safe. I see the little girl in her that.

Exactly.

I see that scared little girl who just wants to see her mom again, you know, I see that scared little girl who doesn't know how to love, doesn't know how to hug. So I hold my mom and even though she's awkward, I still hug her, you know, and now she's hugging Back. Now she's sending me messages that I always wish I could have got from her, you know, and of course, we can blame our parents and we could be resentful and we could say, I wish they were like this. I wish like that. And you know what? Your parents may never change. You know, the truth is, if you know, my mom, she's gonna be 80, my dad's in 70s, they may never change.

But, yeah, there's definitely things that probably.

Won'T change, most likely, but my perception of them and my. The energy that I. Yeah. Share project to them.

Change, that will change your experience of the change, because you have that shift, that complete mindset shift, that complete shift in your. In your being towards them. You're no longer carrying that bitterness, resent.

Exactly.

Forgiven. You've. You've got a whole new level. And what's so cool is not only have you healed yourself, you actually have healed your parents in, like, their healing happens through you. And so that's just. Man, thank you for sharing that story, Zari. That's so cool to hear about your mother and the transformation that you have sourced, that you have created around your. Your mother. And, and you just. You shared some really personal things with me last night as well. And I'm really grateful for this bond. I'm grateful to have conversations like this. I have never talked about this on a podcast before. It's vulnerable for me because I never want my parents, if they listen to my work, which I believe they do sometimes. And, you know, I don't want them. I want them to know how much I love them and how proud I am to be their son and how proud I am that they are my parents and how much I've learned. And for me, this idea, these three mountains, the first healing that. That first mountain of that success. It's also about healing that son and, and taking everything we're just talking about and then moving into what I call living integrated wisdom. Because essentially you are now creating this new, new paradigm as a man in your life, with your family, with your parents. And that's. That's wisdom. You've gained these new perspectives. You. You through this, you will even learn things like, because of this, stepping into the fire of this work for myself, I learned about my father's father's relationship where my dad didn't even let us go to my grandfather's funeral. It was deep shit that happened. A lot of rage, a lot of, I mean, deep resentment, deep, you know, pain. And then. And through this work, my dad has now opened up to me about it. My dad's opened up to me about his, why he was the way he was with the anger and the rage, you know, and it's, it's. He's gotten vulnerable. And I have seen the changes. Like, you know, sometimes they won't fully evolve completely, but they do change. I believe that really through us, because.

Of your love and acceptance for him. Him feeling safe to open up because your love allows him to be able to express himself without judgment.

Yeah, exactly. And now, man, my dad is telling me I love you. My father is telling me he's proud of me and the things I, you know, I craved as a, as a, as a child. And we have such a beautiful bond. And I wish that for, for, you know, for anyone listening to this that feels they still are holding on. And you know, my prayer to you is, is that you can be the source of the transformation that gets to happen through your family. Whether they are alive, whether they are dead. You could be the source of that and that you heal that so that you can become the leader of your lineage, so that you can step in to a new paradigm of the legacy that you get to create for your life and for future generations. And that's the exciting part about the era that we live in right now. Not only do we have the greatest opportunity ever to create wealth and abundance like never before with technology, we also have the new levels of consciousness that is available to us and the opportunities to go fully devoted into a path, serving God and surrendering to God's will and healing and coming into these ancient, these ancient, not just modalities, like these ancient tools of forgiveness and compassionate things to heal and to rise, I believe as like the shepherds that we get to be to protect the vulnerable, to fight off the monsters in this world right now and to really lead with responsibility. Because this world needs leaders and this world needs integrous, honorable, responsible, heart led leaders.

Absolutely. Yeah. And one of the reasons why you came down and I'm so grateful for it, here to Medellin is to talk about how can we bring together a collective of men who are at the same point in their lives where it's like, okay, yeah, I've done a bunch of cool stuff, made some money. That's great. But now what, you know, now how do we, how do we come together as community, as a brotherhood.

Yeah.

To combat the darkness, to combat the evil that is infiltrating our system in every way.

In every way. For sure. And it's, it's really devastating. What to be a witch?

Absolutely. And there are a lot of men out there who want to make a change, but they're like, I can't do it alone, so what am I going to do again?

It's like, man, like, this inner work is difficult. Doing it alone is so hard. I can't tell you that. You know, we have a life journey of, of healing and rising and healing and rising and, you know, and continuing to integrate and step deeper into the embodiment of, of what it means to be a healthy masculine. And to do that alone is difficult. And in order for us to go out there and serve, you know, at the highest capacity and, and be men of God, like, we got to continue to do that deep work and doing that with brotherhood, man, that's, that's everything. I feel so grateful to be able to have friends that I can call when I'm going through these, these triggers, these moments, these new things that are, you know, that, that arise all the time, that come up with especially healing family shit. Like, it's not done. Like, I still am, like, going through stuff with my family, you know, with my ex, learning now how to co parent. Like, there's a lot of challenges with our businesses as men. We have so many responsibilities and so to have a brotherhood and that's, to me, I think, priceless.

Yeah. Yeah. And one of the things that, you know, I've recently started is these men's group dinners. And a lot of the guys who I invite out to what I call the human experience, they've never attended a dinner with like 20, 30 guys. And they've never had to talk about things like their childhood, talk about, you know, certain pivotal moments in their life. And, and often at the end of the dinner, they'll say, man, that was like one of the most powerful experiences I've ever had. And of course you and I, because we've done retreats and ceremonies and all kinds of deep work, a men's group dinner is, you know, like, it's, it's light work, let's say. Right. But for them, just having the permission, having the invitation to open up and talk about something beyond the yo, what do you do for work? What do you drive? Where do you live? It is so transformational because I believe a lot of men have pushed so much down and they haven't felt safe or permitted to open up and speak about these things. And it's what needs to happen in order for men to begin that healing journey. To know, like, look, to be a man, you don't have to be stoic, you don't have to be emotionless, you don't have to be super jacked and millions and millions.

And you can be all of those things, by the way.

Absolutely. You can be all that. And also being vulnerable, being expressive, asking for help. A lot of men don't know how to ask for help, you know, because they, they inherited a belief system from their father, passed down from their grandfather that, that doesn't work. I mean, there's a reason why men's suicide amongst the 40 to like 60 category is so high. Because this is an old mindset and belief system that is not healthy. And that's why I feel for you and I to share openly and to allow men to open up and express themselves is the beginning of that healing journey for them. And that's why I feel, you know, what we've been talking about with creating, you know, I know you're the guardians of honor that you're creating and experiences. Yeah, experiences.

Whether it be amazing at these experiences. And I'm really excited, I'm really excited about our collaboration, our co creation, what's to come, both with the Guardians of Honor Mastermind as well as Dinner series. And we have a lot of ideas around building a epic men's community. And, you know, I think it's such a cool time right now because you have men that are stepping into this work. You also have men that have been doing this work, but that are still craving. Like, I'll speak for myself. A lot of my greatest endeavors have been because I've created things that I wish I wanted and I shared that with you. Right. And just frankly, I'm looking myself like I'm not coming to build some mastermind or do dinners because, like, we're on the top of this mountain and there's like a hierarchy. It's like, no, no, no, we are. You. We're still doing this work. We're still pulling back these layers, we're still healing. And we want to play to our edges and play a big fucking game. And I think there's a, there is a. I can't be the only one. I'm like, if I'm looking for it, where can I find a group of men? Where can I find other men? That's why I flew to Medellin as well, right? To hang out with guys like you that they, you know, they, they got the gravitas, they got the, you know, the, the mindset that they want to go out and create the biggest possible impact. They want to share more publicly they want to be more thought leaders, leaders in their. In their field. They want to become better investors. They want to become more healthy men and. And aligned men and integrated men. They. They want to. To. To live a life that is close to God. They want to learn what it means to have divine love and be in sacred union and be integr. Like, we. I'm looking for those like. Like, let's be the. There's the. I know there's warriors out here. There's. There's warriors, there's kings, and. And I'm leaning into this word guardian. You know what it means to be a God of honor, which is a very sacred story. My father is a God of honor. There's. There are these men that were chosen to protect the church that I grew up at and to protect tradition. And I think we've lost a lot of tradition. The reason why I like to get suited up and the reason why I like to be around, like, glass and elegance and luxury is it reminds me of tradition. I'm a traditional dude, you know, And I love being modern. I love how much is advancing as fast as it is with AI and technology and all the things. And I think that we've lost touch with tradition. It's another reason why I've gone into Christianity. It's another reason why I feel rooting in this chapter, my life is important to balancing bringing back tradition. What are the traditions that you're creating for your life? What are the traditions you're creating for your legacy? What are the traditions you're creating for your family? And my father, being a God of honor, these were men that protected tradition of this particular saint procession, where I got my name. And I watched these men, they had certain jackets, this gold patch. And I've always looked up to my dad. They were. They would, you know, pull out the sand and walk the streets in the. In the hood. And it'd be money and flowers and women that would pray to the. To this saint to be conceived and for their children. And I take a lot of pride in that. I go back and volunteer every year. And I've watched my father be one of these protectors. And I'm like, man, one day I hope to inherit my father's jacket. It's been going on for 150 years. It was passed down to my dad. And so the name, to me is really important because I've not. Because I believe anyone needs to come into a specific type of faith. I want men that are looking to be close to God and men of God. But more so the name is representing. What does it mean to be a guardian, to be a protector of. You are the torchbearer of the traditions that you are creating for your legacy and for your family. And also, what does it mean to be a guardian of honor, a guard of honor. Right. Walking in honor, making decisions from that place. And I think that we get to have. And I know there's men right now that are stepping into that, and that's why I'm excited to create a home in a. In an actual community and, and do this with you, man. Building experiences and hosting these things and doing them dope, you know, like really bring bridging. I think this, this, these two worlds of, of wealth and, and success and luxury and experiences with also deep work, spiritual work, getting closer to God and in healing and legacy type work. And this is really cool. So, yeah, if you're a guy that is interested in this, I mean, we would love to have you at one of the upcoming dinners. Zarek. When do you think they're going to pull the of the next ones?

Yeah, being back in Toronto for the summer, definitely want to host one there for sure as well. That one, I, I feel will be an expansion of a personal development talk, speaking about things that we've discussed. You know, money, sex, power, influence, impact, you know, all the things that drive men. You know, sharing from our perspective and kind of redefining what does masculinity, what does it mean to be a guard of honor in your life for your family, for your values, and having inspiring conversation in a room full of men who are wanting to step into their purpose, transitioning that into breath, work, you know, having them, you know, connect to those higher states of consciousness, to just release, you know, to again, look into the shadows, let go of whatever's there, and then offer a VIP dinner experience where we get to break bread, we get to drop in with one another and build that community. Because again, everything I've ever created came from a place of like, I'm missing this and I want this. And I know if I'm missing it, other people are as well. So I think, you know, an event like that is going to really be powerful and a catalyst for many people. And I know in Miami it was well received. You know, I would love to explore.

About Ibiza as well.

Ibiza would be fun. Yeah, we're gonna be out there in September. That would be dope to do it there. And I just. First off, you know, I'm a hospitality guy. I love hosting dinners. I Love connecting with people. I love introducing great people together and the fact that we can do it, raise money, support charities, but also bring together a brotherhood, bring together, you know, a collective of men who combined, we can really move mountains, you know, and that's what I'm most excited for. And that's why, you know, I appreciate your interest in you seeing me, you know, and recognizing like there's something here that resonates with you. And you know, you adding your element, your credibility and your like your network to it. I know we can definitely create some very special experiences. So, you know, for any of you watching or listening, like, this is all like, this is a manifestation happening in real time. You know, it's just we're collaborating and bouncing ideas back and forth. And by the time this episode airs, I'm sure a lot of what we're speaking to now will have already come to fruition. And it's exciting, you know, because we get to do this. We get to, we get to lean in and take that first step and show other people like, yo, you can be a man of integrity, you could be a man of honor, you can be healthy, you could be wealthy, you could be sexy, you could be rich in many ways. And you can be a contribution to the planet, you know.

Yeah. And a contribution to the, to the movement. I mean, you don't have to be a guy who has built some hundred million billion dollar company, has X amount of followers. Like, that's not what this is about. If you're a man who wants to be part of a tribe of men that, that are aligned to everything that we've been talking about, we invite you. We invite you to apply. We invite you to. Because at the end of the day, the greatest asset other than our time and energy and our focus is relationships. And it's the reason why I am here today. It's the reason, like why I become the successful man. You guys know this if you're listening to this, right? And so how can we curate and do it efficiently? And that's what Zarek and I are doing is like gonna create that so that it's efficient and effective for you to meet other high quality men that are on a similar path. And it's not based on what you've done or anything like that. It is based on a certain set of principles and character and just the desire to want to do this work, to want to rise up and play to your edge and play bigger. Surround yourself in the room where you're not always the smartest person in the room with other guys and step in. Dropping your ego, coming to learn, connect, grow, dance, see dance, play. You know, guys, we do need a lot more of that as guys with all the serious that we have to deal with. And so, yeah, I mean, I'm. I'm so excited for this and that God has brought us together, man, and we're doing some cool stuff together. So.

Yeah, well, man, I'm equally excited. I know. You know, you haven't shared it yet. I'm sure at some point you will. You had mentioned to me over when we were chatting last week about a premonition you'd had. You know, that I look forward to manifesting and creating. And I know that there are many out there, many other men out there, many brothers that we share in common that are wanting this as well. And I think it's a real movement that is in the creation right now. It's. It's here in the quantum, you know, and we're calling it in. And I'm excited.

Well, no, it's here and I want to acknowledge that it's here. You have done these dinners. You know, like, the mastermind is currently filling up. Currently, like it is here now. And I just want to just, like, acknowledge that, brother, because you are that now. Like, you are that.

And thank you.

You're worthy of that. I'm worthy of, of having this brotherhood. And if you're listening to this, you're watching this, you're worthy of having this brotherhood. And this is happening. You know, this is something that we are committed to and that is, you.

Know, it's speaking it into existence. That's it.

I'm excited, though, to, you know, not to take away what you're saying. I'm excited to see where it goes. There definitely is this, like, manifestation that's happening that is beyond just the. It's a movement. And so really excited for that to evolve. But yeah, it's. It's here. So you guys are interested in that, then shoot us a dm. Connect with us. Because we'd love to. To connect with you and have you at one of our next experiences or, or see if the mastermind is aligned for you to go on a longer journey together.

Beautiful. Well, man, I thank you for being here. Thank you for sharing everything that you have today with me, with Arsha, with the viewers and listeners. And yeah, just to all you out there, you know, stay tuned because lots of beautiful things coming up real soon. And yeah, man, looking forward to showing you around Medellin. We're going to Tomorrowland tomorrow. Yeah, same for me. And we're going to. And we're going to rip it up and that's it. So for those who want to learn more about Gerard, links down below, Instagram, website, all that. But is there any. Anything specific, anything you want to leave them with, anything that they can, you know, check out that's important to you right now, in this moment? I.

Feel to just, if you're still watching this, to invite you to, to answering the call. And you know what I'm talking about. If it's, if it's in your. It's in your gut, it's in your sacral, like you feel it deep down in your being that you're ready for the next chapter in your evolution and your soul's evolution as a leader, as a man. Answer that call. And wherever that fear is, wherever that thing that is, is, feels scary, lean into it. Follow through. Let go of the stories, limiting beliefs, the things that are holding you back. It's time. The time is now, and there is no tomorrow. So take action on it. Take action. Because life comes down to choices, and God presents them to you. And it's a matter of timing, you know, and a lot of times we miss out on the right, the. The person or opportunity because we allow these thoughts and these limiting beliefs or this fear to hold you back. And he was right there. This next chapter of your growth, of what success gets to be for you, for the next chapter of love it. So just, you know, lean into that feeling if you feel it deep down in your gut and step in and know that you don't have to do it alone. You know, lean into prayer, lean into your relationship to God. He's the ultimate leader, you know, And I just thank you. I just want to give up to God. Thank you, God, for giving me this opportunity to be here today and to share and to connect with my brother and for being able to connect with those listening and wishing you all absolute blessings, love and health and great prosperity. Thanks for having me, Zark.

Thanks for being here, brother. If you enjoyed this podcast and you learned something valuable, then please hit subscribe so you don't miss the future episodes. I'd love it if you share this with a friend and leave us a review. Your feedback is so important to our growth. Thank you for supporting the Path to Purpose podcast. I appreciate you. I'll see you in the next episode.