Interviews with Dads - Ep. 5 - Mo Greene

Welcome back to another episode of 100% Dad. Today we welcome back Mo Green of Dad Hard with a Podcast. I'm actually here with Ryder recording. Ryder, say hi.

Hi!

That's my boy. Mo had us on his podcast about a week or two ago, and we returned the favor by having him on our ours. We talk a little about New York City and life with an infant. So without further ado, here we go.

Hey, hey, there we go. Okay, cooking with gas now.

That was weird. I guess if I went through its own self-generated link, it wouldn't work. But if I just copied the link and sent it to Messenger separately, it would work.

No, interesting. These apps, they're all strange. They all got their own mechanisms. Yep.

All right, let me, uh, let me get all my settings turned off. So, do not disturb. All right, can you still hear me? Yep. And of course someone's calling as I do that.

Ah, that's always how it goes, right?

Um, all right, cool. Um, Got some coffee ready to go. Um, so I cut in my intro, uh, after the fact, in the, uh, in the ending after the fact. So, okay, we just go ahead and start. Uh, you start and just tell people who you are.

Cool. You want me to prep with the who I am, or you gonna prep it?

Yeah, we got Mo Green. Mo, who the, who the heck are you?

Ah, ma, this is Mo Green. I am the, uh, the host and the creator of, uh, another dad podcast called Dad Hard with the Podcast. Um, and I'm up here in New York doing this podcast thing, trying to share my experiences and the experiences of other dads, uh, you know, in this journey of fatherhood.

Cool. So you're up in what part of New York? You in the city or you upstate?

I'm in— I'm technically in the city. I get 5 boroughs. I'm in Brooklyn.

Five boroughs, I've heard of that.

Yeah, right, exactly.

So, uh, I guess, what do you do up there? Do you have another profession, or you're full-time dadding, or—

I'm in sales. I do, I do sales for fashion brands. Um, and, uh, yeah, I've been doing that for the last 10 years. I'm super into, into fashion and, and brand, brand building and, and that whole type of thing. It's kind of been in my blood forever. My mom has been in it for forever, so I kind kind of followed in her footsteps once I graduated from college. And, um, you know, I kind of fell in love with the sales aspect of, of fashion as well as just the fashion of fashion, you know what I mean? And, and I turned my passion into a profession. Um, and now I, uh, I'm— ever since I had my daughter, I'm, uh, I'm trying to take a little bit of a swerve and get into this podcast thing. I have some, some cool visions for what I want this to become from a brand standpoint. So, uh, we'll see where that goes, you know.

You still there?

Yep.

How old's your daughter?

Yeah, she is 2 months. She's gonna be actually 10 weeks this coming Tuesday.

All right, uh, you said 10 weeks, right?

Yeah, 10 weeks.

Uh, you getting much sleep?

Actually, I am. I wasn't in the beginning, you know what I mean? In the beginning of it, like the first 2 weeks, she really wasn't taking to breastfeeding very well. She was born with a tongue tie, um, which is when like like the, the little frenulum or whatever it's called under the tongue, kind of goes all the way to the tip of the tongue. And like their movement of the tongue is really, um, prohibited. And so she couldn't really latch onto the breast very well, um, and so she lost a bunch of weight in her first couple of weeks. So we had to kind of catch her up by introducing formula and bottle feeding, etc., uh, pretty quickly, um. And we were actually feeding her every 2 hours. So for the first month of her life, we I didn't get— I got zero sleep, you know, because my, my wife is doing all the pumping and everything like that. And, um, she was really hard for her to adjust, uh, post-delivery, um, and she had a really tough pregnancy in general. So I was trying to give her as much sleep as she could, help her to sleep as far along through the night. So like, I was up, I did the, the 10 PM, 12 AM, 2 AM, 4 AM feedings, and then finally she would get up for the 6 AM feeding, um and then I'd sleep for 2 hours and then was back up at like 8, 9 o'clock. And, uh, but now my daughter's sleeping about 7 hours through the night. Last, last night she actually clocked almost 8 hours. Uh, she slept from like 10 to almost 8 o'clock, uh, which was really cool.

Well, props to you. I did not get up that often. There was no way.

Oh, I didn't even get up. I just didn't sleep. I would just be in the living room with my daughter in the, in the pack and play next to the couch, just watching, pounding coffee, watching whatever mindless television was on.

Now I'm assuming, uh, and isn't that an advantage we had over previous generations? My Netflix, I feel like, like I would just be— I remember, I think with our third kid, um, just for giggles, I binge-watched Cheers of all this because I never saw it. It was like that ended like when I was real young. So, uh, I saw all of Cheers. It was just during like feedings or, you know, when he was up at 2 AM to 4 AM or whatever it was.

But that's exactly what I was doing. I was just pounding out, binge-watching any show that looked interesting on there, rewatching the Avengers movies 7 times in a night. Like, I, I was doing it on Netflix and Amazon, uh, Video were my best friends. Yes.

I mean, you know, it was a generation ago that didn't have that option. I mean, you know, certainly TV, but, um, uh Yeah, they didn't have the on-demand stuff that we have nowadays.

No, we're very, very, very lucky. It's, it's a, uh, it's very clutch when it comes to early fatherhood to have to be able to have that, you know.

Absolutely. Um, all right, so you're 10 weeks, uh, you just started getting some sleep. Um, I mean, how you feeling other than that? How's mom feeling? Uh, mom, does mom Does mom work out at home? Is she on maternity leave?

She's on maternity leave. She's on maternity for 4 months. Um, and you know, like, so she was having— she was having a little bit of a rough time, and she had a really rough pregnancy. Her pregnancy was fucking terrible. It was like really bad, um, the whole time. She also has an autoimmune disease, so like that kind of played into it a little bit. Um, and so like it was just really tough on her. So like the last couple of months was really bad, and then adjusting all of that because she takes all these— this medication to kind of adjust her adrenal glands and her hormones. Once she gave birth, her hormones like were still all out of whack and crazy. Um, it was actually— it was, it was really scary for me because I, I thought she wasn't gonna— she wasn't gonna make it through this thing and was gonna be like, we gotta give the baby back, or like get rid of it, or whatever, or I was gonna end up having to do the whole thing by myself. But Um, over the last month, she has adjusted unbelievably to, to motherhood. It's like she's— it's like she's a natural, and then she was born— she was like born to, to be a mom. Um, and it's been, it's been spectacular kind of watching her with the baby. Now she's, she's out, out and about going to different mommy groups and different classes. She took the— she took my daughter to like mommy-daughter yoga the other day. Um, so she's really adjusting really well now. I think the fact that I let her get as much sleep as possible, like I still do, like I'm the one that sleeps next to the bassinet and I do the middle of the night, you know, because other than last night when she slept till 7:30, 8 o'clock, um, you know, my daughter usually wakes up anywhere between 3:30 and 5:30 to eat. So I do those feedings so that mom can sleep through the night and whatever. Um, so, and I think that's helped a lot.

Do you leave during the day to go to work, or are you working from home?

So I do, I do a combination of both. I do. So the good thing about— the good interesting thing about my, about my gig is that, um, I'm able to do some part-time stuff, um, and some little consulting things. So I actually took a bunch of time off from like regular scheduled programming, for lack of a better term, um, when her pregnancy got really hard, and now trying to get back into a little bit more of a flow of it, um, and get back on the full-time grind of it now that she's a little bit more comfortable.

Oh cool. Uh, you got— did you guys get any help like with the bird? Like did, uh, uh, you have a nanny or in-laws or anything like that come in?

So actually, I'm— we're very lucky because her parents live directly across the street from us. So, um, yeah, in, in the, in the, the apartment that my wife grew up in, we just happened to find an apartment. When we were looking, found an apartment in Brooklyn right next— right across the street from them. Um, so that's been really cool. It was really helpful in the early stages of it when, um, my, uh, when my wife wasn't doing so well, we weren't getting a lot of sleep. Like, I could just call my mother-in-law at like 9 o'clock in the morning and be like, hey, you know, neither of us got any sleep last night, could you just come over and like sit and look at the baby? Because she, at that point, she's not doing anything, but like you know, laying on her back and like making some noise a little bit. You just come over here and just like look at the baby for a couple of hours while we just like catch some, some sleep. And she would be over in like 10 minutes. We would be able to catch, you know, 2, 3 hours of sleep in a day or in that, in that time frame. And it was, it was a real savior. Uh, but, but her mom and dad like come over to see the baby all the time. My mom is just in, in Manhattan, so she, she comes, comes down to Brooklyn to see the baby all the time. Um, It's, it's good. We— everybody's kind of close, so that's— that it's been really cool. But like nurse, nanny, none of that. We did it kind of just the two of us and then whatever, you know, intermittent help and visits from in-laws and stuff.

I'll tell you, that sleep factor is, uh, I mean, it is such a, uh, a benefit when, when there's some family around or some really close friends or, or some help of some sort. Because I mean, some babies sleep naturally on their own, like, you know, you kind of grumble and hate those parents because they got lucky, uh, and Some babies are just, they really stress you to the max. So I'm glad to hear you guys are getting sleep because I feel bad for anybody that's, you know, isolated, you know, their family's not nearby and they have a hard baby. It's just that you can legitimately go crazy. I mean, oh yeah. So I'm not just like talking like you just go nuts because you have no REM sleep.

Oh yeah. It's crazy. I mean, those first, those for that first month was wild. Like I, literally could not operate at all whatsoever. Like, I, I really felt like a full-fledged zombie during those times. And like, you know, finally we're— she finally— we started getting some sleep and it's better. But like, going back to the not having in-laws thing, I'm actually doing an episode of my pod with a friend of mine who moved out to Denver. They live now 2,000 miles away from any family at all, and they just had their first daughter. Him and his wife had their first daughter, like 3 months before, before me. And so like, I'm actually sitting down with him to talk about the whole— that whole concept of like not having anybody and really being isolated and doing it all yourselves, because that's got to be just incredibly difficult.

Yeah. How's it— have they had— you said they had their baby?

They had their baby. They were like 3 months ahead of me.

Okay, so, um, I mean, was it a challenging one? Was— is it everything smooth sailing?

With, with theirs. It seems like with theirs everything has been fine. Um, I'll talk— I'm talking to him in the next couple of weeks, um, when he's back for, uh, for Thanksgiving. Um, I'm gonna be sitting down with him to do an episode of The Pod, so I'll get a little bit more in depth and I'll let you know.

I was always curious. I like to hear those stories. Yeah, I mean, the baby aspect, I always, uh, certainly my wife carried the, the bigger burden. We had family— my mom would fly in, um and she would do like a couple weeks here and help, or at least a week. And then her mom would come in and help for a little bit. And then, you know, just friends and family would pop in every once in a while and like offered, you know, to stay up to like midnight one day and just so we could get some sleep and help her out, things like that. For sure. So it's, yeah, it's been, but you're way more involved than I was. I can tell you that much. I was involved like, you know, I did feedings and things like that. You know, I changed diapers, but You know, I was working, so it was— I genuinely needed some sleep so our business could function. So it was kind of, uh, I would purposely isolate myself sometimes, and because I just— I had sleep. Like, I didn't get as much sleep as I used to, but I had to sleep more than, than Brian was. And we certainly dealt with a little bit of like postpartum and things like that. She always had rough pregnancies as well. Yeah, I forget the name of the— like preeclampsia. Like, she was always put on bed rest towards the end.

Oh Jesus, luckily we didn't have that. We didn't have that, but my wife was like almost on the verge. She had, uh, like the, the, like the anterior placenta or whatever it's called. So like my wife is really big into like working out and like doing personal— she, she had like a personal trainer and would do gym classes like, you know, 4 or 5 times a week even in the early days of pregnancy. But then I guess she got, um, she wasn't— I don't think she had the preeclampsia, but she had an anterior placenta, which means that like she basically had to stop exercising, and that was like the death blow to her. That really made the pregnancy extremely difficult in the last 6 months, especially because she literally like could not exercise. She could not get— like, she had no outlet to like get all this extra energy and like raging hormones out. It's like, so when you have that type of stuff, it's really, really, really tough, and nobody really tells you about that. You know?

Yeah. And then even, you know, like, as you start to think about having another kid here, like, you, you get a little bit of amnesia. Like, you really gotta sit down and focus and remember on it because you do get a bit of amnesia about how difficult it sometimes is in the moment. And it's all worth it. Like, I mean, we're kind of painting a picture of like it's horrendous because, I mean, it kind of is to a certain extent. I mean, I think definitely harder on mom than dad, but 100%. But yeah, I remember those were— and then plus feedings were like, my boys just, you know, they would nurse for my wife like both sides, and then they would still scream. And like, we'd have to— so they would nurse both sides every 2 hours and then cap off with another, uh, like 4 or 6 ounces of formula, which we were trying not to do the first baby. Either she wasn't making enough or, um, uh, they were just hungry. And we had fat little— I mean, our babies are solidly, uh, built, so yeah, they're just hungry little turds.

Yeah, I mean, it seems like they all, they all are. I actually— we, we actually— my daughter finally, like yesterday, she was going, she was going like averaging out about 4 ounces per feeding. So let's talk, let's say like 4 ounces every 4 hours. And we kind of go back and forth between doing breast milk, whether it's from the breast or from, you know, pump bottles, um, and formula, because we had to introduce that early because she was losing so much weight so rapidly, um, in the beginning of her life. So like, you go back— but yesterday, this, this girl sucked down like 3 back-to-back 6+ ounce bottles. I think she went like a— I think she went a 6 ounce, a 6 ounce, and then a 7 ounce bottle, right? But— and she probably would have gone for the 8 ounce, but we had to cut her off. We were like, no, no, no, if she does that, she's gonna be spitting up all night.

We're not—

we're not ready to give her 8 places yet, but she, she was eating good in the neighborhood last night. I guess that's probably why she got such good sleep. Um, but they love it. They love to eat. That's like the— they're like favorite thing, eating and sleeping.

Do you guys, uh, like, do you guys do a schedule or anything with that stuff, or do you just— whenever, whenever she sleeps, she sleeps. She wakes, she wakes. Whenever she wants to eat, we feed her.

Like, you guys have like a little bit— a little bit here and there. Um, my wife, we had— we were a little bit more rigid a couple of weeks ago, up until a couple weeks ago. And then, um, this mom group that my wife started going to that all— that, that has like a pediatrician and a pediatric psychologist or psychiatrist in the room with like 5 or 6 different moms and, and baby combos, um, they said that like it's not good, like it's not necessarily good this early in life to keep such a strict schedule. So we— and, and like you should just feed them when they're hungry, um, and so we started doing that and that's actually when she really started sleeping she started getting this really good sleep, you know, and banging out, you know, 6 to 7 hours per night on average. But we try to like put her— we try to get a night regiment going where, you know, we'll give her a bath and then we'll like play like lullaby music and like maybe read her a book and then like put— then give her her last bottle and then put her to bed around 9, 9:30. Then, you know, my wife and I can have some like husband-wife time, uh, you know, watch whatever's on TV, whatever we have on the DVR, whatever. And then, you know, 11, 11:30, we're going to bed. And, you know, then, uh, baby girl wakes up around 4:30, 5, 5:30, something like that on average. Um, so it's been— that's the real only schedule that we have is like that little thing at night. We try to hone every— bring everything in.

Yeah, so we were against it with our first— that was 2010 with Levi, our first one. We tried, we didn't want to do the schedules because we kind of heard the same thing. Um, and of course, like, out in the parenting world, there's like every single thing is like half the world likes what— likes that method, and the other half is like horrendously against it. Parent both sides. It's almost parenting— it's almost as bad as politics when you really get into it. It's, it's Interesting. So we were kind of against the sleep schedule and then just like at the 6-month mark, uh, he was a hard baby and I mean Ryan was just legitimately going crazy. I mean, I was starting to go crazy and, uh, I think it was a friend of ours that sat down and was like, this is what you need to do. Like, go, you know, just put him on a schedule. Like, I mean, if he's super hungry, you have to eat or feed him or something. You do have to take care of the child. That we, after it took about, I think, 30 days or so to like really get him into a routine, kind of like how your daughter built in routine. It took a while and then it was just, it was so much better after that. So, because he slept better after that, he was eating better, like, and he almost put himself to sleep. Like, he was like, oh, you know, it's pretty much time. And then I rolled into as a toddler, like, he would tell his grandparents when it's time to go to bed. Um, which is nice. And they all still— and they all— so we, we kept a schedule with all of them. Um, and obviously we weren't like super stringent on it, like, it's 8:02, like, everything commences now. But it was, it was around those times.

And that's what we do. I thought that's what we do at nighttime. Like, we just like around 7, 7:30, we start kind of winding her down to kind of like let her know that it's nighttime now. And it's Can you hear me now?

Yep.

Okay, perfect.

So that was my screen timed out, I guess. Oh, but I guess it just killed the connection. Uh, but it did say— I was worried it didn't save. We did save.

Okay, great.

Anchor sucks. Don't, don't get them. I'm not sure what that—

no, you know, dude, what do you use to host your pod, the podcast, on? What, uh, what, what, uh, what's— oh, you use Anchor to host it?

Yeah, Anchor hosts it and records it and all that, and it's on my phone, and that's where we're doing this pair. I like to— I like this pairing app they got, but I might have to just change some settings on my phone. It might be like my battery settings just turned off or whatnot.

Gotcha, gotcha. Yeah, I, I use— I use Spreaker. I thought— I find that to be, um, I find it to be really, really, really, really good. They also have a— they have an iPhone app. They have a— they— an interface where you can record directly into, into your computer the whole nine and then post it and then distribute it to all these different platforms. You can do ad, ad web share and all this. It just seems to be, um, seems to be pretty— that, that seems to be pretty good for me. Just as, just as an FYI, if it's something you want to look into.

Yeah, well, yeah, I might have to because I went on— I was going to run the Anchor, this recording, through the, uh, the desktop website app, or not app, but the website, but it doesn't have like a have people join in function to it.

I can plug in, but Gotcha.

So this was the best way to— I get that other feed. Yeah, I've been recording audio, has been a pain in the tail for me because my camera, my video camera times out. That's been giving us some trouble.

Oh God.

Yeah, so there's, there's— I, I need to maybe invest in some professional-like stuff because it's starting to irritate me.

Well, you know, you know, there's another thing, there's another, there's another, uh, app that I— there's another, uh, uh thing that I use. I'm actually gonna look it up right now. What, uh, what is it called? Oh, I use this other app called ScreenFlow that it's actually made to record video. Um, you can't do anything like— you can't host and post live stuff, but for recording and editing, it's been really good. So like that, I use that to edit all of my stuff. You can like eliminate out background noise, you can kind of monitor all of your levels to make sure that everything sounds like unison across, especially if you're, if you're kind of putting together multiple segments from multiple different recordings. Um, and that's been pretty good for me as well. And I kind of use those two in tandem. I record directly through Spreaker and then I, I edit on ScreenFlow.

That's— I would like to do that because it'd be nice if you could like see the audio levels going. Because we just kind of plug into our camera and record, and, you know, hopefully it's— hopefully all the mics were connected, you know.

Oh, you can see all— you can see all of that on ScreenFlow. It's really—

it's really nice to, to work with that camera, like a professional camera on a, like, a tripod.

Um, oh, gotcha.

Probably stop doing that. So, like, we couldn't run that through the phone, but, um, we can— we can figure something out, that's for sure.

Well, that, that goes— the, the ScreenFlow goes into the computer. So if you plugged it, you could probably plug the camera into the computer, um, and do it that way.

Yeah, definitely. I can definitely do that.

Yeah. All right, cool.

Uh, we were talking about what, uh, uh, uh, you're off schedule but you started with one. I was off schedule and then started with one. Yeah, you were saying something when we cut out.

I was saying, I think I was saying that I was talking about how we just kind of tone how we kind of turn everything down. The only schedule we really have is that, you know, around like 7, 8 o'clock, we— at night, we start turning everything down to kind of let the baby know that it's nighttime. Um, and then that's the time for her to start like getting into the mode of going to sleep for the night and everything like that. We turn like all the lights off in the apartment, um, so that like it's dark, and it kind of— and it helps to get— we, we just bring the mood down a little bit, the bath and, and last feeding and that whole thing. And that's been working really well for, for us. And she's been, she's been pounding out those Z's, um, and pounding out those sleep hours. So it's been fantastic. We're also blessed that she's like, uh, happens to be a really good baby, you know. She like doesn't really cry unless she's hungry, um, so that I would assume kind of plays into everything in our, to our advantage as well. Um, but just kind of that, that's really the only schedule we've, we've had is kind of just like 7, 7:30, letting her know that it's nighttime now, time to start thinking about going to sleep, and then we take it from there.

That's smart. Yeah, that rhythm I think certainly helps. Um, uh, so you're married?

Yep.

Uh, how long you been married?

We just celebrated our 3-year anniversary on Labor Day.

Okay, so you got about 2 years without kids. Now, were you together?

We were together about 4-ish. I guess we were together— we started dating in like 2012, 2013, depends on which of, which of us you ask. If you ask me, I'll tell you it was in like the summer of '12. If you ask her, she was like, I didn't like him until the— until January of '13. So, you know, 2012, 2013.

Okay, like, yeah, most girls are pretty, uh, they're pretty good at, you know, not hanging out with you if they don't like you.

Yeah, she was, she was pretty good at that. But you know what, I am a pretty persistent guy, which is probably why I'm so successful with sales, is because I'm a pretty persistent dude. And I kind of knew from the moment I met her that, like, I all bets are off with that, with anybody else. This was, this was where my future was going to be. And like, I, like, I think we, we met, like, uh, I was, I was playing in a band, um, with a bunch of my friends, with a bunch of my buddies that I grew up with, because I used to do, in my previous life as I call it, I used to do music. And so we are banned through like a July 4th party at like this really swanky hotel, um, in Manhattan, and I met my wife through a mutual friend, and the mutual friend was invited to the show, and she brought my wife along, and that's like to set us up and to have us meet for the first time. And that was like July 3rd. Then July 4th, this is, uh, she came and like met me at my friend's rooftop for like this pig roast that we were doing. And then the next day, I went to July 5th, I went with one of my buddies to go meet her and her best friend at a beer garden. And as I'm leaving the beer garden with my buddy, I turned to my buddy and I was like, yo, I'm telling you right now, I'm gonna marry that girl. And then, you know, whatever, 4 years later, I told that exact same story at our wedding, and, uh, it was great.

Yeah, I, I, I feel it's, it's pretty beneficial when, uh, mom and dad get to have some years of themselves, for sure. 100%. It certainly happened. It's not a killer or anything, where, you know, there's a baby right away, you know, whether intentional or not. They just, you know, it's, it's different when there's baby involved as far as like your time and your priorities and your, you know, when it's just two adults, you know, kind of in love and hanging out, it's, it's a different dynamic for sure.

For sure. The whole relationship changes, you know, when you have a baby, and that's kind of something that we're, you know, we're I think that my wife and I, like, we've— I think we've developed like an even deeper respect and a more well-rounded respect for each other, um, since the babies came. Uh, but like, we just work really well as a team. And like, that's like the— that's what I tell everybody. Always ask me, like, you know, especially since I started the podcast, they're like, oh, you started this podcast? Like, you know, what, what advice do you have for me? Like, I'm about to have a kid in like November. Or my other buddy's having a kid in March, like, what advice can you give? Like, do you have advice for me or whatever? I was like, yo, work as a team. And if you work as it— like, and that's what me and my wife's thing was always in general. And then like, especially with the baby, like, we just make a really good team. Um, and I think when you have the baby, like, the whole— the relationship changes and you get a little bit more like mutual and a deeper level of respect for each other because you're able to work as a team and really listen to each other and feed off each other and help each other out a little bit more because you have to do that now because you guys are taking care of another human being, you know.

When you're saying working as a team, like, so I always go to opposites. So what do you picture as like the wrong way to do it, like not working as a team? Like what does that dynamic look like?

So I actually, it's funny, it was for breakfast yesterday for the Jewish holiday, My— I am Jewish. Yeah, yeah, yeah. My wife and I are both Jewish.

Oh, so I know this is so wrong to say, I love Jewish people. I'm not, um, like, I want to know more Jewish people so bad because we just, we don't have hardly any in St. Augustine, Florida. It's a very Christian town, um, and, you know, a lot of Southern Baptists, some Southern Baptists in the South. But yeah, I'm okay. I'm glad I know this because I like it. Oh, so what's that, uh, what's that TV show? Um, Marvelous Mrs. Maisel. Have you seen it?

Love it. They actually shoot it down the block from my apartment.

Oh my gosh, my— like, the way they talk and act, obviously, but I just like— I want to understand the words you, you Jewish people are saying.

It's possible. Well, listen, we don't— my wife and I don't speak like that. That's— that, that's a little— that's a little bit more like— they do a lot more of the the, the Yiddish and the, uh, they mix a lot more of the Hebrew stuff into their, um, you know, all the meshugganahs and all that type of stuff, you know.

Um, I just want to understand, but I'm enjoying it the whole time. And plus, like, the whole Jewish mentality of, of like how they live lives and, and, and their finances and all, like, it's— they seem to do things right.

So you'd be— because you know why? Because— and, and I have this conversation with a lot of— with a lot. So I'm actually— I'm at my background, I'm actually Black and Jewish. So like, my dad was Black and my— and Black and Lebanese, and my mom was Eastern European Jew. Um, her dad was from like Saskatchewan, Canada. Her, you know, my uncle claims that he's like part Blackfoot Indian or something like that and then converted to Judaism to marry my grandmother. Uh, but I was like raised Jewish or whatever. So like, I have a lot of different types of friends. I have friends all across the board. And, um, uh, uh, uh, you know what I've noticed in, in blending in with a lot of different cultures is that like the thing about— everybody always talks about Jewish people do it right. They, they, they always manage their money. And it's because we really look at like, do Jewish people like look out for each other and look out for their community? And you know, a lot of other cultures don't do that. Um, not to say that, I mean, that's making a really big generalization, right? But like a lot of cultures don't always do that. Like, you know, like the Black community doesn't always do that. The, the, the— I mean, the, the white community in general don't always do that, you know. Like everybody's kind of like looking out for themselves and like that's what it is. It's like dog eat dog in other cultures. But with Judaism, the whole religion and culture is based around this thing of that like we're all one people and we should all like look out for each other and help one another and, and so on and so forth. And just like that mentality, whether you actually do it or not strictly amongst other Jews, is that that mentality is bred into you. So, you know, you're always— I always find myself looking to help other, you know, help out anybody that I can. And, and I think that, that I get that because of the mentality of the culture that, that I come from, you know. Um, It's just—

I mean, it's completely seeped in tradition, it seems like. Yeah, if you're practicing, for sure, for sure. I really like— I don't know a lot about it, but I really like what I see from the outside. Yeah, I'd love to learn more.

So, you know, listen, next time you're up in New York, we'll invite you. We'll invite you for a Jewish holiday. You'll come in, you come up for Passover, you sit in on a seder, you'll learn the whole thing. It'll be great.

Oh, we're gonna speak Yiddish?

I unfortunately, I don't speak Yiddish. My wife speaks a little bit of Hebrew, so maybe she could throw a little, a couple ditties in there for you, you know.

Yeah, no, I did. I, I found a way that language, both the languages, I guess Yiddish and Hebrew, just I appreciate them for sure. I forgot where I was going with that.

What were we talking about? I was, I was, you were talking about, um, uh the, uh, what I think is like the wrong way to do, to do parenting as far as like teamwork is concerned. And what I was saying is that like last night at our breakfast, um, actually my brother-in-law's girlfriend was telling me this story about a couple that she knows that like recently just had a baby. And like they do, they have shifts where they're on parent duty. And so like if the dad is on parent duty, the mom does not help him do anything in regards to, to the baby. If the mom is on parent duty, the dad doesn't do anything in regards to helping with the baby. So like, I'm talking if they're both sitting on the couch and it's mom's baby duty hours, let's say, right? And like the baby's flailing and complaining and like won't take to the breast while she's trying to breastfeed, and she's like, honey, can you please just go and like, can you, can you help me just get a bottle? She's— he's like, nope. I'm off baby duty. That's not my time.

And that's selfish, or that's self-imposed by them, right?

Yeah, self-imposed by them. But I, like, I, you know, now listen, I'm not here to judge anybody's parenting style. What the hell do I know? I'm 10 weeks into this thing. Maybe that's the right way to do it. But, but I would think that is— as, as I would never want to do it that way because I, I feel like for the, the, the health of the relationship between mom and dad, it's like you really got to work together as a team. So like, even if me and my wife decide we're gonna split up times to do baby duty. Like, I wouldn't— like, if she needed my help during that time to go do something, I'd be like, okay, fine, of course, let me go, I'll help you. I love— you know, because I love her, I want to help her with everything that she does. She feels the same way. So like, you know, I, I think that personally, that, that's my— that would be my methodology. Like, I think that's the right way to do it, is to really be there to help each other through this whole thing, um, you know, especially when you're not getting the sleep and you have to deal with another human being and you don't know why they're crying. And, you know, you don't always want to, to clean up poopy diapers and, and spit up and do laundry and clean bottles. You know, you— I just think you need that real, you know, real hard co-parenting teamwork to like, to, to really make everything the best experience possible.

Yeah, no, I agree. So, uh, so to me, that's a different— like, when I was thinking, like, not working as a team, I was thinking more of, like, that traditional dad, uh, mindset where, you know, you know, can you get— can you change a diaper for me? No, Dad. Yeah, I don't do feeding. I don't do babies. Like, I'll be involved in some pictures, but for the most part, your mom you're taking care of this thing until it's, you know, it can walk and talk. And, you know, there's— and there is a segment of the population that's very traditional in that sense, and old school, and just think dad has no role in those beginning months. So that's what I assumed you're going to when you mentioned the teamwork. But yeah, I mean, I—

well, that's— I mean, that's another— that's another example of like what would not— would qualify in my books as not being— is not being, you know, doing co-parenting teamwork, you know.

It's hard to like emotionally scar a baby that young. They're just not going to remember. But man, certainly the relationship— you're, you know, that if you want to be happy at home, you know, it's probably helpful to help out.

I agree 100%, and I think that that's— I think it's super important, like you said, for the relationship with, you know, between husband and wife, but also for the relationship with baby, you know what I mean? I know I talked about when you came on my podcast and we had a conversation, I mentioned that, you know, like, I already see with my daughter that me being so involved in the day-to-day of her life, even this early, like, she knows, you know? Like, I came back to the house, I came back to the house earlier this afternoon as my wife was leaving to go meet a friend for lunch, and like the, you know, they— we like, me and the baby like kind of crossed paths for a second and she like knew it was me and she was like so happy that like I was coming back to— coming back to the house and like seeing her and give her a little hug and a kiss or whatever, you know. As quick as that interaction was, she knew that it was me and that I was coming back and there was this bond and this closeness, um, that, that I could tell that she felt the same way that I feel it because I'm around her all all the time, you know.

And that bonding is going to play dividends on the end.

I would—

I hope so, right? Yeah, it is 100%. Like, and like, when I say the end, I mean like down the road when, you know, she's starting to— in this formable year, you're just gonna have such an ingrained relationship. Um, it really helps.

Yeah, you know what I hope? I hope it kicks in and she remembers this bonding when she turns like 14, 15 and starts wanting to bring little boys coming around the house, you know, then I might have to call you about investing in some shotguns to bring up here. And I, you know, I don't want to have to do all of that, but hopefully they'll throw me in prison for—

yeah, I mean, like I said, if you're trying to jump in late at those ages, and you just don't run into those issues if you're Hello, can you hear me?

You just blacked out, you just blacked out for a second.

Okay, uh, so I was just talking about, you know, if you're being proactive, um, with her whole life growing up, when she gets to be that, uh, you know, that 12, 13, and starts to get into the dating. I mean, if you guys have been having these discussions for years and she's seen a good healthy relationship with mom and dad, like, I mean, that's the path she's going to go. Um, you know, it's, it's when there's dysfunction at home and it's never been talked about and then all of a sudden she starts dating, but she has no expectations built in her head. That's when, you know, there tends to be a little bit more trouble.

Um, sure.

I'm not sure that's a, that's ever going to be a real problem for, for a guy like you. That's going to be obviously very involved.

I hope so. You know. Yeah, you know, I, I hope— I just, you know, I, I'm all— I just want to set a good example for her, you know what I mean? And for— from all, from all angles, you know. And I want to try to, you know, show her that the, the best aspects of life that I possibly can, you know what I mean? Um, from what I— yeah, from, from what I can show her, I want to show her the best of it, you know. Um, and I know my wife wants to do the same thing, so, uh, hopefully that, that works out for us in the long run and we'll, we'll be able to, you know, really make, you know, help her to grow up, uh, you know, understanding that and knowing that and appreciating that, you know.

Um, so what's it like in, uh, in like— you're— did you say you're in the city? I know you said Five Boroughs, but that's a pretty big— that's like Manhattan and Staten Island.

Yeah, but we're in Brooklyn, so we're— I mean, I grew up in Manhattan. I'm born and raised in New York. My wife, born and raised in Brooklyn. They're only— it's only right across the bridge from each other. Um, so I'm born and raised in New York, and now we live in Brooklyn, like in my wife's old neighborhood where she grew up. Um, and so like, I don't really know much else. I lived in Chicago for about 7 years, but other than that, I don't know. This is like—

I mean, it's like he's around— like, it's all big apartment buildings, right?

Uh, yeah, for the most part. So we actually— in Brooklyn, it's a little bit— especially in our neighborhood of Brooklyn, it's a little bit more homey and neighborhoody. Um, which is why we like moved here from the city, because like, you know, we knew that we wanted to set— when we moved in with each other, um, we were both living in separate apartments in the city, uh, like in Manhattan, and we wanted to— we knew that we wanted to like, if we were moving in, this was going to be the move to, to go down the long haul path, and we wanted a little bit more of a neighborhood environment. Like, I grew up in the city very hot in Manhattan, very hustle and bustle. I don't know, I didn't necessarily want to like raise a kid in that area, um, or in that— under, you know, uh, under those circumstances. So I was very adamant about moving to Brooklyn. My wife's from here, so it kind of worked out perfectly. Uh, so where we are is, like I said, it's very neighborhoody. It's kind of a lot of like smaller brownstones that have like— they once were probably all multi-family multifamily homes. But since then, the buildings have been bought and like refurbished and turned into apartment buildings. So, you know, there are what, there are 12 apartments in the building that we live in now. Like I said, her parents live across the street in a brownstone. There are 4 apartments in that. So like where we live is not all high-rises like in Manhattan.

Go out and see like trees and a park and everything. I'm assuming there's only like a handful of parks in a space like Brooklyn.

Well, they're actually— so there's, there's that. Brooklyn is actually great for getting all of that type of greenery and stuff like that, you know. Like there's like a— so they, they— we live right by the Brooklyn, what they call Brooklyn Bridge Park, which is like, there's like a pier on the water between— on the East River between Manhattan and Brooklyn. And they've actually developed this massive amazing park down there that has like outdoor volleyball and soccer fields and basketball courts and then like dog parks and just like big— there's like a big carousel for kids and like big playgrounds for kids to play in and like, like all these little greenery areas for kids to like play in and like sit and do picnics on and whatever. There are multiple playgrounds uh, like, that also, like, have a lot of greenery. Like, right in our neighborhood, there's one, like, right down the street from us, another one down the street the other way, and then about a mile away from us is, like, Prospect Park, which is actually a huge— it's kind of like Central— it's like the Central Park of Brooklyn, but I actually believe it's bigger, uh, volume-wise than Central Park. That's just like this huge fields and big baseball fields and everything like that. So it's also why we like Brooklyn is because you get a little bit more of that suburban type of a vibe and not just being in this big like industrial city like if you were in Manhattan, right?

Not cool.

Now it's— I'm sure it's not anywhere near where, where you guys are where there's like woods and stuff like that, but, um, I mean, it'd be like we lived in that park.

I mean, it's either beach or greens around here. It's starting to develop a little bit, but, uh, yeah, I mean Yeah, it's definitely different. We're suburban, 100%. Um, yeah, I mean, New York City—

uh, have you ever been up there?

I went to— so I went to the actual New York City only once in my life, and I was a kid. Um, but cities, I'm like simultaneously impressed, but I've always been worried about living in them or near them. I just felt like, I don't know, it's just a different vibe. I kind of like the space, and I'm not— I'm social when I have to be, but like, I'm more introverted. Like, I like time to myself. Like, today I was out in the woods. I took my boys with me, but we joined a 12,000-acre lease for a hunting tract, and so we went out there and, you know, checked the game cameras and and threw some feed down and things like that. But it's like, it's, you know, it's driving around the woods basically and stomping through, you know, some swampy areas, and, and, uh, you just don't see any people. Like, I enjoy that time a lot. I feel like in New York City you probably don't get that a lot unless you're locked in your apartment. Like, it's just like you go out to the street at any time and like there's just people and there's a café open and, and things like that.

Yeah, there's the cafe open, there's ambulances honking everywhere and big trucks. And, you know, even if you have the light to walk across the street, somebody's trying to jump a curb and try to catch that, that yellow light and kind of knock you, just run you over. They just don't care. Everybody's put— when you're on the train, everybody's pushing you trying to get a seat and everything like that. It's, um, it's— New York's an interesting place to live, uh, but like I said, like, I don't really— I've lived here my whole life, so I don't really know any— I don't know much else. I did, you know, I spent 7 years in Chicago, which is kind of the same thing as New York for the most part. Um, yeah, so like, you know, big city living is just— it's just for me, I don't mind that. When I was younger, I went to summer camp, so like I spent, you know, 10, 12 years, you know, 2 months— only for 2 months at a time, but 2 months a year up in the woods, up in the Adirondack Mountains, in, um, like up by like Albany and Upstate New York and stuff like that. So I did like summers up in, in like woodsy type areas, and we did camping and all that type of stuff. Um, but like, living there, I'm more of a city boy, you know?

Yeah, well, I mean, you grew up in— that's what you know. I did not grow up that way. Sure, I grew up in— uh, but I mean, like, the business side of me certainly is like severely attracted to like the constant motion and sheer amount of volume and, and the, just the hustle factor that it like seems to exist in cities like that.

For sure.

I'm just not sure if I could live there 24/7. I think I would like, my brain would fry and I would just need to, you know, run as fast as I can to—

I can, I can definitely dig that. It's, it's not for everybody. The city is not necessarily for everyone.

Yeah, wherever you went, we just lost you.

They can work and like push around people, super aggressive, and it just gets a little bit much sometimes, even for somebody that's lived here my whole life, you know.

No, I get it. Um, all right, so let's kind of wrap things up. Uh, what do you got planned for your, uh, podcast? Where are you going in the next Just continue to track like a week life as a dad to a new infant.

Wait, what? Sorry, you just cut out for a second. What'd you say?

So I was saying, let's wrap things up. Why don't we figure out what you guys are doing, or what you're doing over there at the Dad Hard podcast? Like, what are your intentions for the next few weeks? And it seems like you're just tracking week by week the stage of a new dad with a new infant. Is that kind of the premise of how it's continuing?

So basically, so that's, that's the thing, right, is, is, um, when I was— when I decided to start the podcast, it was because when I was preparing to be a dad in general, um, I was looking for different types of content that I could kind of, you know, find and read and listen to, to try to prepare myself mentally for doing that. And like, there was nothing out there that was really relatable to me, that I could really like relate to, that kind of spoke to, to my personal situation or, or was like entertaining enough for me to want to like continue listening to or reading. It was a lot of it was very boring and mundane or aimed specifically towards moms, which is another thing that I can't really relate to, right? So, uh, I can only relate to that through my wife. So once I had my daughter, um, I, I said it in my first episode, I feel like I was, um, go back to the religion thing for a second, it felt like I was like baptized. I don't know what that means because like I said, I'm Jewish, but like, I felt like this godly moment where my wife had a C-section and I had my daughter holding on to my one finger and my wife was in pain holding into my, my hand and like my other hand. And like, I just had this moment where I was like, wow, my life has just completely changed forever. And this is incredible. I have the two most important people that will ever be in my life, like literally grabbing on to me for dear life. And for protection and for comfort. And I really changed my entire mentality and way of thinking, and I wanted to start tracking that and talking about that and giving people that, that experience. Because this, this dad thing— I love being a dad. I mentioned earlier that I think my wife has finally come, come to, to a level of comfortability with being a mom, and like, she was made for it. I think I was like put on this earth to— and, um, I decided to start the podcast to go along with that, to give my experiences, but then also to bring on other dads like yourself, who was a guest this week, um, and, and other people like that to talk about their experiences, um, and different, and different topics of dad discussion, uh, that other people can relate to that were in my position or are in my position now or have been in my position, um, and, and, and are looking for something to connect to as far as father-oriented content.

Good, I like it.

Yeah, and so it's, it's, it's been doing— it's been doing fantastic. I've been getting great feedback so far. Uh, I am awaiting for— I'm awaiting the hate to start coming as I start to get deeper and deeper into it. But, but for right now, you know, it seems to be— people seem to find it entertaining and are really connecting to it. And it's like, it's fantastic. So I have some really cool guests coming on in the next couple of weeks. I'm actually sitting down with an Olympian in the next couple of weeks, which is really cool, to talk about his experience competing in the Olympics while also raising two kids at the same time. And I have some other cool, cool people that I'll be talking to over the, over the course of the, the next couple weeks. And I continue to expand on, you know, hope to expand on that and, and really turn this into a real cool outlet for, um, dads to be able to learn from other people's experiences, you know.

Great, that sounds fun. How does everyone find you?

Uh, so everyone, I'm on any podcast platform that you could think of. ITunes, Spotify, Spreaker, TuneIn, uh, Google Podcasts, whatever is clever, CastBox, all that stuff. Um, just search Dad Hard, uh, with a podcast. Um, 9 times out of 10, if you just search Dad Hard, I'll come up as well. But search for me, Dad Hard with a podcast. Follow me on Instagram, Dad Hard Pod. Um, and, uh, you know, check, check it out. And, and I'm, uh, I'd love to Love to get feedback from anyone, anyone that listens or wants to connect, uh, within this dad brotherhood. You can always send me an email, dadhardpod@gmail.com.

All right, sounds good. I appreciate you coming on.

Absolutely, appreciate you having me.

I'll talk to you later.

All right, have a good one. Bye.

All right, and that's a wrap. That That was again Mo Green of Dad Hard with the Podcast, and now you know who to go to if you need some fashion advice. I had no idea he was in the fashion business. And if you're looking to follow a dad that's in that infant journey, like Mo said, he's giving a week by week, so give him a follow and, and, and you can experience that journey with him. Thanks again for listening. Stay tuned for the next one. This is Townsend Russell. Townsend Russell with 100% Dad.