Interviews with Dads - Your Cre8tivity Dylan Mazziotti

Welcome to the joint podcast of 100% Dad interviews with dads and Your Creativity Podcast, uh, interview creatives and, you know, just great people around everywhere. Cool, great, I guess.

Yeah.

Uh, so we're in Salt Lake City. Is there a specific part of town that we're in right now?

It's called the Avenues, right by LDS Hospital. Okay. And, um, Hatch Family Chocolates Um, the owner of Hatch Family Chocolate, Steve, is my co-host. Got it. So, and he refused to join us today because when I drove, um, his house, he lives right next to where his old location, the shop was, and I saw his car over there.

So is that the straw place? Yeah, it's Nelson Straw. Yeah, that's where my GPS took me first. I'm like, well, this isn't it.

Yeah, that's an old version of the address when he had the TV show, The Little Chocolatiers. That's, that's where the shop was.

Was that like a local TV show or—

uh, it was on TLC.

Oh really?

Yeah.

Okay, I didn't know that.

Yeah, it was only on one season, but yeah, that's interesting.

Was that back in the days of like the Cake Boss and all that?

Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

Oh, that's funny. I didn't— had no clue. I had absolutely no clue. We'll have to try it before we leave. Um, so I guess, how do your podcasts normally work?

Um, I just find creative people either online or here locally.

And when you say creative, you mean artists and—

Artists, performers, musicians, comedians. I work for a comedy club, so I've got a connection to, you know, a lot of local comedians.

How many have you done?

We are doing episode 100, um, probably next week with, uh, the co-host Steve, because he hasn't been on as a guest yet.

Cool. And that's all local talent here in Salt Lake City?

Um, no, I'm beyond. Okay. But it's mostly been local, but Cool.

And I guess, do you have an expectation with that podcast of somewhere you want to take it, or you just—

I am just enjoying it, you know. I wouldn't mind making money off of it, but yeah.

But do you introduce yourself? Name, occupation, what you do, how many kids you got, marriage, anything like that?

Okay, yeah, get that all covered. I'm Dylan Masiotti, a graphic designer here from Salt Lake. Um, like I said, I worked with Comedy Club Wise Guys here in town. They're my main client. And they work with different restaurants and other small businesses around town doing freelance graphic design. I've got a couple other part-time jobs that flow in and out, but those are just kind of fill-in-gaps type of stuff. I've been married twice, fathered twice. The first marriage, we had a son. He was premature and didn't survive. He was actually born here at LDS Hospital, right by where we are.

Okay.

And then she left shortly after. Um, I— after that, I developed a drinking problem. And, um, my— I met my second wife through my job, and she kind of helped bring me out of that. And then, you know, we're approaching 19 years of marriage.

Oh, wow.

Okay. Um, in October. Okay.

And, uh, any more kids after that?

Uh, oh yeah, we have one. Okay. I have one. We have one together. He's 13 and a half. So that's junior high.

And I was about to say, end of middle school, beginning of high school, somewhere around there.

Okay.

So one kid, 19 years marriage, freelance graphic designer, plus the comedy club. What do you do at the comedy club?

All the posters and graphics and everything.

Make all their stuff.

Yep.

And is that like a stand-up club or is that like plays or things like that?

Stand-up. Okay, you know, we get major comedians like Kevin Smith generally comes through every year, uh, Craig Robinson, you know. Okay, Whitney Cummings is scheduled in the coming weeks.

So I bet that's fun. You know, I don't think I've ever been— no, I've been to one comedy club in my whole life.

Which one?

Never, because we're in St. Augustine, Florida. I mean, we just— okay, a lot of that stuff. Yeah, so it was like there's a restaurant that has like a little bar and sometimes they do a comedy night, and one of my friends who's, uh out in LA now. He's trying to be a comic or an actor. Like 5 years ago, he came back and he did a set there at that club, and so I went and saw him perform, and they had a couple other local talents there, but certainly no other big names. But so I've never actually been, but I feel like that'd be a fun thing.

Yeah, there's open mic tonight if you want to really see some—

uh, where's it at?

It's over at the Gateway Mall.

Yeah, we'll talk about it later, but yeah, it's down the street. So you brought up your son pretty easy. I don't know if you want to get into that at all because, I mean, that's certainly a—

yeah, let's go away—

a painful subject for, you know, something everybody fears. And, uh, and it seems like that might have done a number on the relationship with your wife as well, and obviously for yourself, you know, self-care and just dealing with that.

Yeah, I think it's a big part why she left, you know, because after it happened she started to become more distant, right? And then, I mean, the loss of a child is—

yeah, I mean, I guess I'm not sure there could be anything more heart-wrenching or just, um, you know, me, I think losing—

if lost him older, I think that's actually more traumatic. Like, if I would lose my son now, you know, I'd be devastated all over again. Well, sure, you know, because he's, he's such a bright light. To so many people.

Like, now, uh, was that something that you guys knew was a possibility? Were there like, um, uh, markers in the, in the pregnancy?

Or no, things were going along great, you know, she was 6 months and then she, you know, went in. We lived in Taylorsville at the time. It's a suburb of Salt Lake, farther south. And, um, I believe I was at work and she was having you know, contractions or pains or something. Sorry, I have sweat in my eye. One second. And, um, so she was able to get a friend to give her a ride over to, um, the hospital in Murray. And then, you know, I— while they were doing that, she got a hold of me. So I started coming home and finding a way, you know, over there. And by the time I got over there, they were moving her up here to LDS Hospital because they needed to ramp things up at the hospital there, just couldn't do it.

Like, from that call, yeah, I mean, I just, I feel like my heart would be sinking. I'd be just terrified, like, going home and getting the stuff and going to the hospital. Or is it more like a calm scenario because you just didn't expect anything?

It was, it was calm because, you know, around that point, you know, that you start getting faults. Yeah, faults.

How far along was she?

6 months.

Okay.

You know, so they're moving around quite a bit and, you know, strange feelings might happen. So initially, you know, we weren't terribly concerned, but then when, you know, they moved her up here, it looks like, oh yeah, things are gonna start. Yeah.

And, uh, were— I mean, were they giving you any information or was it just in the dark? Um, because I guess what, that's 20 years ago.

Yeah, I think they were pretty, pretty straightforward, you know. I don't remember a lot. Yeah. A few decades ago, a couple decades ago.

I'm sure it was a whirlwind to begin with. Yeah. So he was born, was it just—

3 days ago.

Did you get any time?

He lived about a day, so we, you know, we visited him in the ICU.

Okay. Oh, that's, yeah, like I said, heartbreaking is the only word I can think of it. I mean, that's obviously any fear, especially for the, you know, I guess especially might not be a good word, but for the first one, your first experience with it. Yeah, that like carry over for when you had your, your, your son, your second child, of like that worry and that fear?

Oh yeah, I'm a helicopter dad.

Like, I could see that. I mean, how could you not be? I mean, it's—

yeah, it's like the, you know, one time he rolled off the bed and I was just like so worried, but he— yeah, he, he's fine. And you know, he's—

kids are pretty resilient.

Yeah, they are.

Things my kids have like fallen and done and, and The weird ways their body have bent and then they just pop right back up is— it kind of freaks you out a little bit. Yeah, they're pretty bendable and mendable.

And then once you get older, it's like, you know, you start— when you get out of bed, you snap, crackle, and pop like your breakfast.

It's embarrassing. I hurt my— I'm like just recovering now. I hurt my bicep opening a window at my house. I was opening a window and it just like— yeah, something like popped. This is the stupidest injury I've ever had. But yeah, kids are just, gosh, they can do whatever they want. It's amazing to me. And I try, so I purposely try not to be a helicopter dad. And I didn't have that growing up. I had a lot of freedom. You know, we were like always climbing in creeks and over trees and I was swinging on vines and I broke my ankle that way. So I had a lot of broken bones as a kid. But I remember that freedom and it's hard to give that freedom now. Kind of part because we're in a city where it doesn't have a lot of space.

Yeah.

And now there's so many stories of, you know, kidnappings and murder and molestations and, you know, deaths of— freak deaths of like brown recluse bites. And that's a spider in Florida. Uh, and just weird things like that that like almost all parents now are more helicopter-ish.

Yeah.

And you just don't have the freedoms that you probably had growing up and I had growing up. So I'm trying to like purposely give that to my kids and just like, you know, I did put my eyes down and not look.

I did eventually get to that point, but it, it took, it took me a while. I imagine, because like even him playing in the front yard and me, you know, looking out the window and I look, look away for a second, I, I got worried. Or, you know, or he's running around with, um, his grandparents just going somewhere, right? And, you know, even, even those, I was worried.

But I, I try and put it out of my head. Yeah, the best I can, and just let it, let it go. So after— all right, so the marriage broke up probably mostly because of—

mostly because of that.

Uh, are you guys faith-based? You live here, so I'm assuming you're LDS, but I grew up—

I grew up LDS. I'm not anymore. At that time, I was technically still a member, but we, we weren't active.

Okay, because I was going to ask how much your faith carried you through that moment.

Um, well Probably the faith I did have at that time did help, but it—

I guess that could go two ways, I would think.

Yeah.

Whereas like you get deeper rooted into it for comfort, or you kind of spurn it and say, you know, essentially, God, how could you do this to me?

For me, you know, faith is more personal, not, you know, denominational. So I know that there's probably something after, and it does give me comfort that things will eventually be shown to me of how things actually are. But just the way I live my life, church, going somewhere for 2 or 3 hours once a week, it seems like—

Mormons have super long services.

Well, they did go from 3 to 2, so recently. Yeah, like about a year or so ago. But, um, yeah, it just— it didn't seem like a good use of my time. And, you know, after you go, you know, a couple decades, you know, they keep on just repeating the stuff. Yeah, so I didn't think I was benefiting from it. And then, you know, since there's, you know, different issues that they've had that I haven't agreed with, and okay, and that's what ultimately led me to leave.

What are some of those?

Oh, just, uh, you know, against the LGBTQ+ community.

I've noticed around here, and so band-wise, Imagine Dragons was my favorite band, Twenty One Pilots is, and obviously Imagine Dragons is like leading the LDS push to, uh, I don't know exactly what they're accepting the gay community.

Yeah, be more inclusive.

Something more general within the church, because I think they accept them. They just don't let them get— I said, I don't know. I'm not LDS, so I'm not fully involved in what it is. But, well, so I'm aware of that, and I see a ton of the gay pride flags around.

Oh, yeah, Salt Lake has a very strong gay community. And our, you know, we didn't have the Pride Parade this year because of the pandemic. The Pride Parade is is nuts. Is it? Yeah, probably the closest I could compare it to is probably Mardi Gras. Okay. You know, less drunkenness, but just kind of the, you know, the energy and amount of people.

So, so after your marriage kind of went down, um, your son passed, uh, you started drinking at that point?

Yeah.

Is that something— did you get— did you drink? Because Mormons usually don't.

Um, before that, I, you know, I did a little bit. It was, it was a little more, you know, just kind of socially.

Okay.

But this, you know, after work I would like get a 40 after work, and some nights I'd go through a whole pack of cigarettes because I was so—

stress management, I'm assuming, or just kind of drown yourself.

Yeah. And I, you know, was in my 20s, so, you know, there's lots of other 20-year-olds around, so we're just kind of having fun too, so So you met your wife shortly afterwards? Yeah, we both worked at Zucca Juice, which is what was here before Jamba Juice bought them. Knew each other just under a year, then we got engaged. We were engaged exactly for a year. I proposed to her at Hard Rock Cafe when it was here in town, which eventually became a Wise Guys. Okay, um, it's not Wise Guys anymore, um, but yeah, for a while there was Wise Guys and it was fun going there. It's like, I proposed to her right over there, I would tell people occasionally, um, and then yeah, almost 19 years later.

So how long were you married before you had kids? If I'm doing math, about 5 years, about 5 years, yeah. Okay, uh, was that something, uh, I guess, were you nervous about having kids after that, or Was that something discussed, or you were willing to— wanted to get it going, or I guess what was your mindset there? Um, after losing your first child?

Yeah, I, uh, at that point, I, you know, did want kids. We didn't necessarily plan him at that point, you know.

At the 5-year mark?

Yeah.

No discussions at all?

Just happened? Um, not that I can recall.

That's something very difficult to talk about, like, oh, do we want kids one day? Maybe.

I think we were just enjoying being, you know, with each other and then that happened.

I do think that's really beneficial for a marriage of having— and obviously not everyone can do it or does do it— of having that few years to like get to know each other.

Yeah.

Live with each other and get used to each other's quirks. And you know, there's things you thought you were cute at one point that no longer are and irritate you. And I go through those phases before throwing a baby into them because the baby just turns everything upside down.

And I'm no longer cute to either one of them. My wife or my son. Yeah.

So you had 5 years, had a kid. How'd you enjoy that whole, the infants and toddler stages? What was your, what are your favorite parts, least favorite parts?

It was fun. He, you know, he didn't cry tons, and, you know, he, he's always been well-mannered. Um, yeah, the only problems really started when he got a phone and You know, his listening and paying attention tend to slip, but he's a hard worker with the schoolwork. He's taking some summer classes.

Do you like really easy, like infant and toddler stages?

Yeah, he didn't cry tons.

I kind of hate you for that. Our kids were terrible.

He's always been very curious about everything. You know, we're very straightforward when we talk to him. If he has a question about you know, puberty and, you know, even just, you know, regular things in the world.

Have you had that talk yet?

Well, in his last year of elementary, they had the talk. Really? Yeah.

In fifth grade?

Yeah.

Um, oh, you know, I guess mine was in fifth grade too. Yeah.

And the strangest thing the guy said— it was kind of an older guy running it— he called the scrotum a smart sack of muscle. That— I think that's the biggest thing we all took away from it. And then, um, his health class that he's taking online right now, it was very just— it was almost like an abstinence type lesson. Like, here's some basics, but if you're gonna do anything, you're gonna get an STD.

Yeah.

So it's like, it was quite a difference. But, you know, if he has questions about anything, we'll tell him.

And okay, so now is that something you got— are you gonna Do you push for the whole wait for marriage thing, or you just—

Yeah, but if it happens outside of that, we're not gonna, you know, just—

yeah, tell him he's not your kid anymore. Yeah, it's like, it's probably a wise move.

Okay, uh, prefer you stay on track, but if you go off a little bit, it, it's not the end of the world, right? Yeah.

Do you have talks? Because in middle school— so I guess you've had— have you had talks about drugs and things like that?

Not really.

You know, is Utah like a really clean state when it kind of comes to that, or this city? Um, because I was getting offered drugs in middle school in Florida. I was like, I didn't know they were.

No, a lot of people here smoke weed. You know, my Mormon friends, you know, I don't know about them exactly. Wouldn't surprise me if some of them did, but along a lot of my friends, it's legal right across the state line.

I don't know how far you guys are from Colorado.

Yeah, Colorado's that way quite a bit. Uh, Wyoming's not legal. Idaho's not legal. Nevada's legal.

Oh, that's right.

And you know, Wendover is like 3 hours away.

I don't even know where Wendover is.

Uh, just go directly east and you'll hit Wendover. Yeah.

Okay, so you guys are surrounded by it.

Yeah. Okay, um, and we got You know, we got the gay marriage kind of before everything, so the weed is just taking a little bit longer. Yeah.

Oh, I didn't know that.

Yeah, we got it just before it went nationwide.

Okay. Well, good for them. Yeah, being ahead on something. So what are they pushing for now? For, I guess, you know, the gay rights. Like, which rights are they— is being denied, or is that just within the church?

That's, that's just within the church. Yeah.

Is it that they can't go into the temple?

Yeah, they can't get married in the temple. Yeah, they can't have temple recommend and all that.

Okay.

And the big— yeah, you know, depending on the ward, they might be, you know, dismissive of it. Okay. You know, because I hear about gays that are still going to church and, you know, right, as usual. And, you know, their wards are you know, okay with it. But in general, they don't. I think the issue I had is when they came out with a statement that if you're a gay couple and your kid, you know, your kid can't have, like, can't be baptized and stuff like that, that's, you know, that's punishing the kid. If the kid wants to get baptized and go through all that, that's the kid's choice, not— that has nothing to do with the parent.

Yeah, child's baptism.

Yeah, things like that. I might be, you know, off of on things, but I think that's the gist of it, where they restricted the kid because of the parents were—

got it. Yeah, yeah, I can see that would bug me too. Um, guys, you know, I'm Catholic. I don't even know what our church's stance is. I'm not that— we were the family that went to church every Sunday. Then, you know, after our second kid, it became, uh, we just kind of decided like we were having to fight our mornings. Our Sunday mornings were becoming so stressful because we were trying to get the kids ready and fed and out the door on time and into the church on time, and then trying to keep them quiet for a certain amount of time and abide by the rules. And, uh, you know, the, the day that's supposed to be for your family and kind of relaxing and peaceful and, um you know, and meant for rest in God was not. It was yelling and—

yeah, something that's supposed to bring you peace is 5 hours of mess.

And so we— so that's where we kind of started making our Sundays about the family and kind of— yeah, we could wake up, we could have breakfast, more enjoyable, go out and do something as a family, go to a park, go for a walk, go for a bike ride. And, you know, Sundays became a lot more pleasant. We still go to church every once in a while. We go to the Episcopal Church. That's like an offshoot of Catholics. It's like Catholic light a little bit. They're a little less stringent. The pastor, the priest can be married. They accept, I'm very certain they accept gay marriage. I'm not sure if you can get married in the church, but we had a lot of gay couples at our Episcopal church. I think their big thing was, you know, you still love the people, but maybe not the action. Yeah, that's at least what it was like 5, 8 years ago.

I think that's what our— the LDS Church's cover-up, you know, was after that. It's like, you know, we're— it's against the action, uh, you know, right? But the initial statement was just worded so poorly. Yeah, yeah.

Um, oh, and because, I mean, the decades before that, it was almost like more hateful towards that group.

Yeah.

And, you know, send them to a camp change them and things like that. Or it was a demon inside of you you need to flush out, you know, those kind of things. I'm assuming I was very young or not even alive back in the, you know, '70s and '80s and early '90s.

So there's a documentary called, um, what is it called? Well, Dan Reynolds from Imagine Dragons, it was an HBO documentary he did.

Oh yeah, I think it was Believer. Believer, yeah, where he did the concert and all. Yeah, Imagine Dragons related, of course we saw it.

Yeah. So yeah, that documentary cover, you know, covers some of that stuff better than I've been speaking about. Right. Oh cool.

So you kiss 13. So you're getting into those awkwardly, and we just talked about drugs and sex and all that. Seems like the school's done a lot of that covering the basis of it, and then you just kind of what, let him know that if you have any more questions, talk to me? And yeah, has he come to you at all?

Um, no, most of his friends are girls, but it's more like, you know, friends. He— there's— he has no romantic interests or anything, right, that, you know, that I know of.

But young.

Yeah, but, you know, but we're, you know, someday it might happen, you know.

I still, I still haven't had the talk with my parents. I think they tried a couple times and I just brushed it off like, "Ah, fine. I know, I know. Leave me alone." Yeah. So, I was just—

I think I got it. How many kids do you have? 3, 4?

I have 3.

3.

Yeah.

So, yeah.

And I've got time. My oldest is— oh shoot, how old is my oldest? 9 going on 10 soon, because that comes after 9. I feel like I might have to talk to him because he's starting to like notice things in movies and ask questions and I'm like, man, I might have to have a talk with him about biology.

Yeah.

And one of my last podcasts kind of changed my perspective on it a little bit because I just never thought about it. He grew up on a farm, like a 2,500-acre farm, and, uh, you know, they had cattle and all sorts of animals. And so I was asking like how his parents approached, because he was one of 10 kids. I'm like, how did— like, did you guys approach? And, you know, the older kids know but the younger kids don't, that kind of stuff. He said, we grew up on a farm, like you just know about it like from a young age because you see it in the field happening all the time, like the biological aspect of it.

Yeah.

Of, you know, how does sex work and where do babies come from and how, you know, what does a birth look like? Like, that was just part of life. Like, you just saw it all the time. And, um, for some reason, even at my age— what am I, 33?— I never thought about that before. Of like generations before, it's where everyone grew up on a farm. You just— yeah, you kind of knew the biology of it and like where babies come from. Where I've almost been like afraid to have that talk and discussion with my kid because I don't want to like bring it to them too early. And I don't know, it just kind of changed my perspective on it a little bit because I never thought about it.

Yeah.

And where they just perceived it as natural and that's how it happens. And then you have to have the, you know, save it for a relationship and love and a commitment to a person, you know, if you feel that way. But anyway, so that was a new perspective for me.

Looked during both births, one was C-section. If you— if your wife's having a C-section, do not look.

I caught the reflection, um, because, you know, those rooms are so sterile.

Yeah.

And so it's either stainless steel or glass, and I looked left because they kind of put up again, and I just saw them.

Yeah. And then the other one— the other one wasn't as bad. It was still kind of freaky, but, you know, just looking up there and seeing a head of hair.

Yeah.

In the middle of all that, it was So I don't think I'll be looking next, you know, if there is a next time.

About starting to do like— are you encouraging like any sports or extracurricular activities or art, anything like that?

Um, he loves to draw and he's like, he's a mini-me, you know, so he's like interested in, you know, geek stuff like all the TV shows and, and he draws all the time and loves video games, you know, so he's into all that. Sports he did when he was younger. I think he's just kind of You know, kind of grew out of it. Yeah, he did swimming and baseball and soccer, and just— I think he just, at some, at some point in the season, he just didn't want to go anymore. So I, I think he just kind of—

cool. Uh, what do you guys do together? Like, how do you guys, like, you and your son spend time together?

I try to get him to watch TV shows with me. Sometimes we'll just sit around and talk about geeky stuff, but like sit and spend time together. You know, I like to share shows that we like together with them.

And what kind of shows are they?

You know, like Doctor Who and, you know, Marvel movies and, okay, you know, things like that. Like, my wife barely goes to movies with us, but we'll go to the Pixar's. She'll go to the Pixar sometimes, but you know, it's the Marvel's, the Pixar's, The Star Wars, you know, the big ones like that is what we go to theater for, and that's what we usually go to together. Cool. Um, you know, in Comic-Con when they have it, we, we do that together.

See, Comic-Con sounds fun. I've never been to one, but it seems like it'd be a lot of fun.

The one here is really cool. You know, it's scheduled to happen September, but they just sent out an email that it likely won't happen.

Yeah, it's amazing how long this COVID crap has gone on. Yeah, I'm so over it. I wish it would just end. Yeah, we really thought it'd be done by— that's why we started our tour. We're like, this thing probably only got a month. We're going to be in remote areas of the country, we got a month or two and we're going to be good.

Yeah, here we are.

No, we, we assumed by summer it'll be wide open, everything will be back to normal. It's starting to aggravate me.

Looking back, we should have had masks, like, yeah, yeah. Quarantine, yeah, but when you go out, masks, you know, masks always should have been more of the forefront from, from then.

But yeah, the whole thing is just—

yeah, it's a mess and it's, it's destroying businesses.

And yeah, it's, it's, um, we, we were fortunate in the fact that we sold in November of 2019, and so the verifications ended March 12th. So there's, I think it was 4 months of verifications. And so like March 12th was the final date that we compiled data. And then March 15th, 3 days later, the state shut down. I was like, sheesh, that was either the most genius move I've ever made or just the pure luckiest move I've ever made.

Yeah, that's wow.

That's yeah, that was, it was a little scary around the few weeks before that were a little nerve-wracking. Because that's when everything was starting to kind of hit harder.

My wife's 7 years younger than me, so I'll talk about stuff like that shows from my childhood, and she'll be like, "I was 2. I was 3." It's like, "Oh yeah." Oh goodness. So yeah, I did.

Gives you something to talk about.

Yeah.

That's like our greatest fear. We were just talking about this the other day because we almost had a conversation without talking. I forget what it was, but Like she had said something and then I could see in her eyes she knew how I was going to respond, so I purposely didn't say it. And like we had a whole, like, we're almost telepathic conversation just with our eyes, what we know, how we're going to respond and what the reactions are going to be. And we're like, oh man, we're only 13 years into this. Like what's going to happen 20, 30, 40, 50 years in? Like we're just not even going to talk anymore, it's just all going to be in our eyes.

Yeah, yeah.

Your favorite moments or things you just really concreted in or concreted into your mind?

He's always been funny, even when he was younger. Just, just one-liners, like these little quippy one-liners. He would even, even from a little kid. And he does now. He's probably the funniest person in our family. And my brother tried to make a comedian for a while. My brother's— my son's still the funniest in the family. You know, so— And he— Even back then, he always found the good in people. Like, he saw, you know, he'd see somebody struggling and he would ask, you know, what's going on with them. So he's just always been compassionate and funny.

We gotta give props to the parents on that for raising a kid that's compassionate and kind.

Yeah.

You know, sees the world from that angle.

Just be thoughtful of people.

Right.

Yeah. And I think that's— I think we're missing a lot of that in, you know, in the world.

Yeah, there's quite a bit. It's interesting. There's a lot of, uh, not ignorance, uh, there's a bunch of that too, but like how we just walk by and like even more now with COVID like everyone just kind of ignores each other and stays far away from each other, like doesn't interact, and it's almost I don't know, devoid of humanity, robotic, or— it's bizarre just walking around stores and in places and everyone's just avoid eye contact and don't talk and stay as far away from each other as possible. It's, you know, you know, a lot of that's obviously rooted in fear right now, but it's, it's almost surreal sometimes to walk around.

Yeah, because before it hit, I, I was doing really well with my business and I was podcasting all the time, seeing and meeting new people all the time and in person. You go to the comedy club, see a bunch of friends, give hugs, you know. And when all that stopped and just— it was just bizarre. Just everybody's a lot more distant, even the ones you talk to all the time. You know, when you see them in person now, it's like it's still standoffish. It's— I miss the old world. The before times is what I call it.

Right. Uh, what do you think is going to happen now? Do you think it's eventually everyone's going to just— it'll dissolve and go away, we'll get back to normal? Or do you think this is like every time there's a sickness, this is how we're going to react now? Um, or is there like a third way you think it's going to go? Do you think masks and social distancing are here to stay for the next 40 years?

I definitely think it'll be part of, part of life. I don't think it will be this necessary all the time, you know, like, you know, in the Asian countries, you know, they, you have the masks all the time. Yeah.

Yeah.

So, you know, I think things will be more that, that way. But I don't see this lasting a long time. At least that's my hope.

But you already heard my prediction. That was like a month ago.

This is gonna be over. Yeah, I think we still have a few months. Yeah, like going back to school, like that conversation that's being had right now. It's like kids going back. I don't know how I feel about that. You know, every day they're gonna try to space them out. It's like, they're not gonna be able to.

No, they're gonna, they're gonna interact.

Yeah, and my job at work, they haven't announced what they're gonna do with— because regularly when they come in to test, it's the online students that have to come in to be proctored at certain tests. Right now they do those tests at home. We're doing— my department's doing certifications, you know, like pesticide and nail technicians and stuff like that, where it's, you know, they come in and they're done, you know, and we're being careful with wiping everything down and staying safe that way. But going back to that old way where, you know, we're getting hundreds of people coming in over, you know, the semester for those tests, you know, I don't see that happening anytime soon.

Have you guys, uh, because what, you're 5 years away from it, have you guys started making any plans towards that? Or you've just told him he's on his own? That's a viable option. Yeah, I genuinely believe that's a viable option.

Yeah, yeah, I don't know. We— she's probably thought about a lot. Um, okay, we haven't talked about it much, but I'm not insured. He's insured through her work, but I'm not insured at all.

What do you mean, health insurance?

Health insurance, yeah. So hopefully nothing happens to me.

That'd be nice. Yeah, I will say, so we I've never worked for a big company. I've always worked for myself. So we've always had to kind of, you know, self-insure. So we've always had, back before Obamacare, we had catastrophic insurance. So basically, if I went to the doctor, I had to pay for the doctor.

If we had surgery, I had to pay for the surgery.

But if like a big event happened, I got in a car accident, cancer, something like that, we'd have to pay like the first, you know, they're called high deductible plans, so it's probably $5,000 or $10,000. You'd have to pay the first $5,000 or $10,000. And then after that, we're covered. So if we had a million-dollar event, we'd pay $5,000 or $10,000, whatever the deductible was. Oh, uh, but most people don't have that. I never did. You know, we maybe spent a few hundred or maybe at most $1,000 or $2,000 at the doctor, um, with the exception of having kids. That would cost about $5,000 a pop, um, and so I've, I've never had the benefit of health insurance or anybody in our family. Even to this day, we're on, it's called Christian Healthcare Ministries. So it's like almost a co-op of people pay in and then you get sick and they pay your bills. Yeah, they get discounted rates and things like that. But, um, it's high deductible, still the same, uh, to the first $10,000. I think for us it's first $10,000 we're responsible for. So if we go to the doctor, you gotta pay for— that's how I've been my entire life.

So yeah, I rarely go. The few times we've gone, you know, we've had to, to pay, but they've been like Instacare.

Yeah. Trips to— which is, I think, a good option.

Yeah.

Sometimes Instacare is the way to go. We don't have Instacare in Florida, but I know what you're saying, these little, uh, clinics.

But if I were to get on her insurance, you know, half of what I made a month would be paying that.

It's— that's why we don't do it. It would cost us, um, I think when— so when Obamacare switched over we had catastrophic plans and it was like a few hundred a month. For our family of 5, I think it was gonna be, I think it was $1,800 or $1,900 a month. And so that's like over $20,000 a year. So then we're like, the high deductible plan, like our worst case scenario was like $10,000. Now like our minimum scenario is $20,000. Like, we're better off without it and paying the penalty, which is what we ended up doing for a couple years. Then they got rid of the penalty. And then we found that Christian Healthcare Ministries and we've been doing that and we just— I've enjoyed it that way. You know, we don't— we're healthy so we can. We don't go a lot. You know, we take the kids to the pediatrician when they need to go for their shots and checkups or whatnot.

Yeah.

You know, I did have to pay for 3 births, but that, you know, was easily negotiated. The hospital— actually, doctors and hospitals and surgeons, they like when you pay up ahead. And yeah, you know, with money, because then they don't have to fight insurance because they hate— they have to quadruple charge insurance, they have to fight with them for months, and then they finally get paid. And it's, it's the stupidest system you've ever imagined of medical billing.

Yeah.

Um, but they like having the money up front so much that they give you like insanely good rates. So I mean, we've— I wish I could pull up an example. I know the, the having the kids, we went and we're kind of talking cost and payment plan to things like that. I think we ended up getting half of like payment plan costs, uh, if we just paid up front. And so that's what we ended up doing with all of our kids. It was just— wow, the healthcare system is mind-boggling. Yeah, just because of how overcomplicated and stupid insurance is. That's my two cents for what it is. So I actually prefer just almost not having health insurance. We have it to cover big events, car accidents, cancer, you know, things that would cost a ton of money. Yeah. Um, but for getting a shot from the doctor and just getting checkups and things like that, just—

it's like, yeah, we'll take care of it. Yeah.

I mean, it's just— and it's worked out well for us. And I know obviously some people are chronically ill and that's not the scenario, but yeah, yeah. But even if we had been, you know, our deductible is $10,000. Like, that would have been equivalent about $800 a month for the family. Yeah, we still would have been better off in that path. They might have kicked us off eventually. I gotta turn my hat around, the sun's peeking over that tree.

Um, that was our healthcare segment.

Yeah, I go off on tangents like nobody else. Oh yeah, that's why delete was invented. Um, do you have life insurance?

No.

Oh, you gotta get life insurance. It's cheap, assuming you're healthy. 'Cause if you're genuinely worried, that's just one thing I think every dad should get. Life insurance and a will are like the two big, 'cause then if you die, you've taken care of your family. And you know, we don't always plan when we're gonna die.

Well, I think I'm more alive than dead, so.

Well, that's 'cause you don't have insurance.

Yeah.

Then it'd be worth it. Then you don't wanna get too much insurance 'cause then you'll be looking over your shoulder making sure your family doesn't murder you just so they can have the payout.

Yeah.

No, we're all worth more alive than we are dead, you know, in practicality. But yeah, in the event, you know, some madman comes over here and shoots up this park and takes both of us out, we didn't plan it, couldn't hide from it, couldn't run from it, nothing we could do. And at least there's a stream of income to support the family. And, um, it's stupid cheap. I mean, I think because I would— I think I have like a million dollars in coverage, like $400 a month. Or not 400 a month, 400 a year.

Look, I, I think I had something. I think it was a 401k situation and life insurance was part of it. And yeah, and the 401k just— I paid into it like for 15 years and it really didn't do anything.

And I think with the company—

yeah, I can't remember. It might have been ING, you know, 10 or 15 years ago. And it just didn't add up, so we canceled it and had it out.

Yeah, you pull out the cash. Yeah, now it's a 401k. So you— how long ago did you do this? Recent or far?

It was probably close to 10, 10 to 15 years ago.

You can do about it now, but it's pulling out of retirement, they'll penalize you if you pull it out too early unless you put it in retirement somewhere else, like you roll it to a different—

yeah, it wasn't a lot and it wasn't adding up, so So it, it's like, you know, we can use this money now.

Yeah, it's still good to invest for retirement. Yeah, I will give you that. Now, so a lot of 401s, like especially with companies, they only give you certain options you can invest in, to where if you can do it outside of those restrictions, you can find just a lot better investments out there. And that way when you look back on it, it's actually growing. Because yeah, it sucks when you look at them and they're like growing 1, 2, 3%, like barely keeping up with inflation. Yeah. But when you can see them growing like at 8, 10, 12, 15%, it's a whole lot nicer. It's a whole lot nicer because it would be nice to have money when you retire. Yeah, my opinion. Not everyone feels that way.

No, I agree. So once things normalize— oh, looking to—

yeah, yeah, right. Life insurance, I do, I do think it's big. So I— that's something I think every dad really needs to have, um, because it is cheap provided you're healthy. Yeah, you think you're healthy. Yeah. Um, did you get a will? Do you have a will? No, killing me over here.

Most of the— most of the stuff is in, I think, both of our names, so it sells to go through probate.

So that's where something you can just like— it's a one-page $20 form you can do. And then that way it just doesn't have to go through court systems as in depth, um, because that's where the problems lie. It goes to probate court and then, you know, it just has to go through that bureaucracy and red tape that is super irritating to deal with. When you have the will and it's notarized and, and right, even if it's a one-page, two-page document, it just, it flies through and your wife, your surviving spouse doesn't have to deal with it.

You get it all, honey, basically. And yeah, that's literally all it says.

I mean, the I die, she gets it. If we both die at the same time, then this is what will happen. You know, everything goes into a— we'll create a trust for our kid and he can access it when he's 18 or 20 or 30 or whatever. Um, um, then, you know, you just establish a manager for it. Uh, so they're super simple and super cheap. Uh, we had, for some reason in St. Augustine, we had like 5, 4 or 5 like spouses of really young people, like in their 30s, die like in the last year. And one of them was a dad. They had 3 kids, a wife, and they had everything mixed names, and he did a lot of the finances there. But it just became such a nightmare, and I gotta have her on the show one day to talk about it. But just that whole probate situation became such a nightmare, just getting everything into her name. Yeah, because he didn't have a will in place. He also didn't have life insurance in place, and it just— it made everything so much more difficult. He was in his 30s, no intention of dying. He just woke up one, or went to sleep one day and just never woke up. I'm not even sure what the cause of death was. I don't know if it was a stroke, heart attack, or something bizarre. Wow. But yeah, they just, it kind of became a scenario where the spouse is super sad that they lost their spouse, and then a few weeks later, you know, they have to bury and figure everything out. The probate's becoming such a problem and just accessing things is becoming such a problem that you start to almost get pissed at your spouse and resent them. Yeah, they left you in this mess where it could have been just a much smoother, cleaner process, and it could have just been a sad time instead of a frustrating and bad time. Yeah, and it's just, it just, it doesn't take a lot of time or a lot of money, um, and it's just something you kind of do just because you love them, and, and it makes it easier for them if the worst thing happened. So I push for that hard. I don't know if you can tell. Okay.

Yeah.

Did I get more authentic in that?

Yeah.

I just—

Yeah, definitely something to think about. Thank you.

Obviously, none of us want to die or intend to. I certainly don't want to. But yeah, I just— I also don't want to leave them in that situation if that were to happen. Like, is college something you guys want him to go do, or do you not care as much about it?

Um, he wants to like be, you know, a veterinarian or like a zoo. Okay. You know, kind of, you know, something with animals. He's interested in that. So I think that's a road he might go down.

Well, vets have to go to school.

Yeah.

I believe that's mandated.

You know, so when he gets, you know, he's struggling and frustrated with school, it's like, but if you want to do this, this is things you, you know, you need to know well.

Did you go to college?

Yeah, I got, uh, 2 associate degrees, one in web design, one in graphic design.

Okay, so more practical degrees for what you're in.

Okay, but looking back, I could have self-taught and been just as good a shape.

I have to ask that. Yeah, with graphic design, because I went to school and I feel like it was stupid. Like, I just didn't learn. Like, I learned so much more my first year, like, in the business world than I did in college at all. Like And it was stupid expensive. I just, I kind of wish it hadn't. I'm torn on what I'm going to tell my kids. Like, I, I don't think college is the answer for everybody. Um, I think, like, if there's a path of career, like you said, like, you could have self-taught graphic design. You go to school for it.

Um, at that time, you know, access to the software and, you know, the cost of the equipment was more expensive then. But nowadays, but nowadays, you know, everything's on your phone.

Graphic design on your phone pretty much. Yeah. Um, yeah, I'm just not sold on college. I think they've gotten stupid expensive, and that's going to have to correct big time. I also don't think you have to go to the big universities. Like, the community college is perfectly fine, especially for the first 2 years. I mean, no one cares where you went the first 2 years.

I saw a headline the other day where it's like, for Harvard, you know, completely online, still like $50K a semester or something.

It's like, my brother's in University of Maryland right now, and the cost of it is Just dumb, just stupid. Yeah. And they're not even allowed in class right now, so he's still— they're still having to pay full tuition of a, in, you know, in-classroom student, but it's all online, so they don't even have the online discount or anything like that. Yeah, like they're just raking people over the coals, the colleges. And, uh, I, I, I'm, I'm obviously just afraid. Now, if my kid wants to be a doctor, engineer, or like I said, a vet, something like that, and You can't have to go through that, but you want to be in the business world or an artist or, um, you know, let them go have fun and do it that way. Shoot, there's kids making big money, even just okay money, the lesser popular people playing video games online.

Yeah, there's 13-year-old YouTubers making millions, and it's such a real career now.

Yeah, that stuff just didn't exist when—

and there's 15-year-old graphic designers, you know. Doing probably better than me.

Yeah, yeah, and they do good work. Yeah, so it's— and I like that because it's kind of coming more about talent and skill, um, and doing more like what you like than, um, you know, do college, get the degree, sit in the office in the AC in a white-collar environment where everyone's kind of pushing their kids for a long time. Um, and gosh, that would make me miserable. I couldn't imagine. Like, just not my personality. Yeah, I can sit around— like, I'm too— first of all, I'm too ADD.

Yeah, I'm at the college in the morning and we're not, we're not busy right now because those certifications are, you know, just a small handful a day. So, you know, I'm only there 4 hours, but it's the longest 4 hours of the day. Yeah, but I can go home, throw on Netflix, burn through projects, have it, you know, right, wear shorts or pajamas and yeah, just sit there and work. And it's so much better than being locked You know, locked into a chair.

Yeah, and I just think, and you know, a lot of people have poor relationships with their parents. I think part of it's because their parents are forcing them, you know, from a young age to go down a certain path that the kid just didn't want to do, and they were forced to do it. And there's kind of that resentment, a little bit of, you made me become this, you made me go this route, and now I have, you know, student loans over my head or a job I hate. And, you know, every day of my life I just— is miserable because I'm in this stupid career field that I never wanted to be in in the first place.

Um, I was in food service for 15 years. If I can not go back, that would be great.

I enjoyed my time in the restaurant world. So, I mean, I was in high school and college. I almost feel like everyone should be in food service a little bit. Oh yeah, like just for even if it's a short amount of time. Like, gives you such appreciation of people and how they act and, and hey, what it takes to the keep a restaurant going. Uh, it's so interesting, the people that don't— have never worked in a restaurant and their, their thought of what it's like on the back end. Have you ever seen that movie, uh, Waiting?

No. And Ryan Reynolds, right?

Or, um, yeah, yeah, I think it was.

Yeah, I've heard about it, I haven't seen it.

If you've worked in a restaurant before, it's so funny. I mean, it's kind of a comedic look at it, but is spot on. It's absolutely spot on. Um, all right, what else we got?

Well, I can interview for a little bit since this is a split thing. I'm gonna move my phone so it doesn't overheat.

Mine was overheating, just gave me a warning.

All right, so with your creativity, we kind of get behind, you know, what, what's going on with your projects and stuff like that. So this 100%, 100% Dad. You're a touring podcasting show. Is there other hosts? You know, what, what, what's the setup of it?

Uh, so we're touring during COVID which means we're— there's basically very little we can do. Yeah, you know, we were hoping to be cleared up by now, uh, but the goal was, um, to go from city to city, town to town, um, and meet a bunch of new dads and get different perspectives on, on being a father and you know, the way different cultures and different families raise their kids and how they act and just the whole life experience. So it's a little bit different now, a little harder to find dads. We're having to— we could do them more digital and online, like we could have the— we were talking about the programs earlier, you could do the Skype. But honestly, we've been camping in pretty remote places because of COVID We thought we'd be alone, that we just haven't had the cell signal on the internet, Wi-Fi, and that's been kind of a killer on that. So we've had to kind of try and find them in person or go into a town and make it happen. So it's, it's been a, it's been a difficult start to it, but the whole premise of the podcast is interviews with vets. It's just getting different perspectives and different experiences and, and sharing them with the world and because we all kind of have that, that unique take on life and different perspectives. And, um, I, I personally like hearing them, and I feel like it makes me a better father to have those different experiences. And so that's what we're doing. And at the same time we're doing that podcast, we're also, uh, putting out bite-sized pieces of content that I feel are important to fatherhood. And that— those are going out on Instagram and Facebook and YouTube and whatever other platforms there are. I just can't think of right now. Twitter.

How did you find me? Because you were— you slid into my DMs of sorts.

Yeah, sneaky ninjas, ninja style. Um, I was probably just searching, um, the best and most influential people in Salt Lake City, and you were probably the number one search, and I reached out. And—

oh, okay.

Uh, I, I want to search something with Salt Lake City on podcast.

Okay.

Things like that. And I think I reached out to 4 or 5 people, um, that I felt like fit, you know, were either in the dad space or family space or something like that.

Um, did you connect with them? Are you gonna try to talk to any of those others that you were—

I'd love to. I just got to hear back from them.

Yeah, I was just curious.

So I got 1 out of 5 here, so what's that, 20%? Uh, and this was my first city doing that because it's been— it's It's been 7 or 8 weeks since we've been near a big city. Actually, I don't even think we've been near a big city. So we've been in like remote parts of Colorado. We were in 11 Mile State Park, which is like an hour outside Colorado Springs. We were in Navajo, which is like an hour outside Durango. And Durango is a small town.

Yeah, we went there last year. We did river rafting and the train.

Yeah, we didn't do the train, uh, because I think they said it was like an 8-hour train. Maybe they have shorter ones.

Well, we went all the way up, spent like some time at the town up there. Okay, we had lunch and checked out a few of the shops, and it was a good chunk of the day.

Yeah, we have a 4-year-old, so that kind of sitting still is not always appealing for him. Um, so then we went to Rifle, which is a small town in Northern Colorado, Northwestern Colorado, uh, and then we just went to Moab, uh, and we were boondocking out there. So we were in the middle of nowhere, Moab. I mean, we got some great drone footage.

Oh nice.

But I mean, we didn't have a neighbor within, you know, 500 yards.

Yeah.

So I'm hoping now— I was hoping COVID was starting to thaw a little bit, so that's when we kind of reached out about a week or two ago to Salt Lake City people. We knew we were coming to Salt Lake City Um, uh, but yeah, now it's starting to kind of rear its head. So we, we do need to find ads. Um, I'd like to continue to do it. We have to do it remote, we'll do it remote, and I'll just— I'll get better at finding internet and maybe staying stable for a day or two to do these interviews, um, remotely. Uh, but yes, it's been a little bit of a struggle so far, but, um, not exactly the way we intended when we planned it at the end of last year. Yeah, before pre-COVID, we was going to have this great thing. We're gonna maybe do like events and, and gatherings and, you know, talk at churches and, um, you know, trying, you know, work with the local news and things like that. But yeah, uh, everything's kind of, uh, selling—

come meet a stranger and, you know, and, and talk to them. Yeah, for half an hour doesn't really sell in this. Yeah, no, no.

Now you go walking down the street and people cross the street to avoid being within 6 feet near of you and You know, everyone's avoiding eye contact. And, um, so yeah, it makes that, uh, that person-to-person interaction a little tougher, but we'll get through it. We'll find a way.

So, um, what other— so you've been traveling. What other effects have you seen COVID affecting your, your living situation? Not seeing people, having trouble with the, the podcast. What other, um issues have you been having?

Um, interactions with people honestly are most awkward. Um, you know, my kids are really social kids. Um, I'm social when I'm like, when I'm on and I want to be social.

Yeah.

Otherwise I'm actually more of an in—

oh, I'm an introvert too. So me having a podcast is like a big strange thing for me.

See, when I do a podcast or like, um, I've led, like, I used to be the president of YPO and things like that. Um, like, when I'm in that moment, I, I like it, and I like being on stage and like giving talks and things like that. Uh, but when I'm out like eating with my family, I'm more reserved. Um, so like when I know I'm on, it's almost as, it's almost like a performance then. Then I'm on.

Yeah.

Um, but like at the campgrounds and things like that, I'm usually more reserved unless someone's come up to me and started talking, things like that. And obviously that's not happening as much. We get a few people The people who are less concerned about COVID you know, they'll still come over and talk, and those kids will play and everything like that. And honestly, at campgrounds, if you're super concerned about COVID you're probably not going to a campground, versus if you are there, you're probably a little less concerned about it.

Yeah.

So I think that's been the, the strangest things, is just interacting with people is such a different experience now.

Yeah.

Um, and then finding places that are open. Yeah, all the museums are closed. We just went to the planetarium today and they're doing a good job spacing everybody out.

Yeah, and it took them a while to open back up.

They just did.

Yeah, it was like a week or so ago.

Great planetarium.

Yeah, it's, it's really cool.

I really enjoyed it and it's free. This blew my mind. I thought we're gonna pay like $30 a person.

Yeah.

It's the shows that the, you know, yeah, we paid to go to the IMAX and do that. Um, but yeah, it was a really cool place. But yeah, a lot of museums are closed, so a lot of like the learning experiences we wanted to do with our kids, because we've been homeschooling for years, so like that adjustment, um, we didn't have because we were already doing it. But we really, you know, expected to be going to museums and like the local treasures and things like that and experiencing them, then kind of like teaching and reteaching. And you know, when you touch something, feel it, and see it, yeah, you kind of learn and absorb it a little bit better than if you read it in a book. Um, uh, and so we've had to kind of skip a lot of that just because they're not open, um, which is kind of a bummer, you know, necessity, but yeah, but bummer.

Yeah, we've got, um, our Natural History Museum. I'm not sure if it's opened back up now. Yeah, that's, that's an amazing place. It's really.

Thanks for rubbing it in.

Sorry. When you, when you come back through at some point, maybe.

So we're on a two— so we're on a two-year tour. I don't think we're coming back through. This country is so big, um, and it's really cool. So I know Florida and the I-95 corridor to Maryland, cuz I was born in Maryland and then grew up in Florida. Um, so I know that I-95 corridor, and that's really my knowledge of this country. Yeah. And now that we're going off and exploring, um, I've just never seen geography like this or size like this Kansas Plains were awesome to me. I know everyone says they're boring to drive through. I was like giddy seeing all that farmland where the country's food's grown and how flat and vast it is. You know, the Moab was amazing. Colorado has been—

What does creativity mean to you?

The ability to come up with things from scratch in your head. That's kind of what it is to me. Yeah, that artistic skill, that talent, that be able to get on stage and just wing it and or create a play, write a movie, grab a piece of paper and make something not even pretty, just make something. Yeah, um, that, you know, you appreciate. And then, like, I so lack those artistic skills, um, and that, like, that future vision for something. Like, I see a white piece of paper and I see a white piece of paper. Yeah, you know, someone like you probably sees that white piece of paper, sees endless opportunities on what that canvas can become. Um, so I guess in the traditional sense and what I normally think of creativity, I'm probably the least creative person I've ever met, uh, as far as like design and color choices. And you would never hire me to decorate your house or, or, you know, pick out your outfit, or I can't draw. I just don't have that talent. Um, and movie editing and things like that, um I have such real respect for people that can plan that out and make that happen. Because I do it by accident. I mean, I just set up a camera and sometimes it comes out and I'm like, "Wow, that was almost like I intended it." A lot of it is just luck.

Luck and happy accidents.

Learning the talent a little bit, learning the skill. But it's not a natural thing for me. But at the same time, on my creativity, you know, if we're using that same definition, I'm really good at building businesses in unique ways and finding the niches within.

Oh yeah, then you are creative.

Uh, yes, but in that statement— but you know, like I said, becoming— creating the logos for those businesses, forget about it.

Give me a call.

Yeah, I know. Um, you know, flyers, things like that. Like, if I made a flyer, it would look like a 1942 flyer. I mean, it really would. And I could hand that to someone like you and say, "Hey, this is like what I want to say. Can you make it look like it's the year 2020 and just awesome and stand out?" And like—

The movie of your life, who would you want to play you?

Ideally, it'd be myself. But if I had to pay— So on this tour, we've had 3 people, because we're driving this big bus, not big bus, big rig. We pull a fifth wheel and it's fully wrapped. Have you seen it?

Yeah, I saw pictures of it online, yeah.

So it's not understated at all. And so it has all of our contacts. So I get messages while we're driving. I'll check them while we're driving, but when we get back there— and so I've been told 3 actors that I look like. So the first one, the guy wrote by, you look like Seth Rogen driving that truck. They can only see me from the head up.

Yeah.

Like, well, not the worst thing in the world.

Yeah.

Tom Cruise would have been better. So Seth Rogen, uh, I got a Seamus. He's a wrestler on the WWE. He's super pale, redheaded, muscular. So I can go for that. I mean, yeah, I don't like other redheads as a rule. I just, I never have. Um, and who else was I? And then we were rafting in Durango at Mild to Wild, and the tour guide thought I was the guy from the movie The Sniper. Oh, in that movie, Bradley Cooper, who was the actor. Yeah, yeah, I'm like, because I guess I had my beard and I had, you know, the stuff on and bearded up in that.

I can see that.

Yeah, I was like, Bradley Cooper, I'll take it. I mean, I figured he was going to say Zach Galifianakis or something. Yeah, I could definitely do Bradley Cooper. Yeah, so, so, but yeah, maybe so, maybe Bradley Cooper could play me. Um, I don't know, can you even think of who do I look like to you?

Um, on Game of Thrones there's this big burly red-headed guy. That was my first initial thought, but like Bradley Cooper when he's all bearded out, I totally see it. And so I don't know, don't know what to ask, what you got planned, because it could change.

We got everything. We want to see all the, you know, we want to see all the states and all like the, the cool things. Um, and meet a lot of people. And, um, you know, we're taking suggestions and, um, places where we should definitely check out, and we're definitely factoring those in. Uh, we want to meet some dads, so if there's dads around or, you know, that want to talk, you know, the criteria is, you know, you got to be a dad. That really helps on the Dad Podcast. And, uh, yeah, we want to talk about it because we do— I, I do like to kind of press into, um, maybe things you, you wouldn't want to talk about because that I think will appeal to some people that are struggling with those things. Yeah, you know, especially like when it comes to, you know, maybe infidelity or divorce or, you know, drug struggles, alcohol struggles, you know, death of a child, things like that. That's something, um, I've always— I just feel like someone out there might be struggling with that like really hard, and like this might be the thing that helps them kind of cope a little bit, even if it's just a little.

Yeah.

Um, so I'd like to get— instead of like the normal, you know, here are the 30 questions I want to ask. And, and, you know, everyone's kind of got roughly about the same answer. And because I would get— this is not helping anybody.

Yeah, yeah. To create— I guess I'll recap what I kind of shared. Just communicate with your spouse, with your kids. Be open to them, you know, asking you questions and let them know that. Yeah, I think communication— that because a lot of parents, you know, they're doing their own things and then having to take care of their kids seems like something they have to do when something comes up, you know.

There's a few I've met to where, um, they're almost not parenting. Yeah, yeah, they're almost— they have this thing that this person that lives with them, and yeah, that's really about it. Um, you know, they don't see them a lot, and they're, you know, doing their own things. And, uh, yeah, parenting, I feel like the more sincere you are and genuine the better parent you become, the more, like, you know, almost authentic with your child of who you are. And when you don't know an answer to a question, you're not BSing it, and you're not, you know, almost putting on a front for being this, like, all-powerful man dad, and, and, you know, should have played in the NFL but blew out my knee, and, um, I know everything kind of personality. And, and just because I feel like that works a little bit when kids are younger, and then a certain point they realize Yeah, mom and dad are just full of shit. Yeah, then they start— then they go to question everything you've ever taught them. I think just being more genuine and sincere and honest for who you are, regardless of who you are, is a more powerful and impactful approach.

And sometimes you have to go, do as I say, not as I do. Yeah, because I'm an adult, I have a different set of rules, but this is something I learned.

Yeah, I don't want this path for you. Yeah, like, I'm kind of stuck in it. And I'm trying to get out, it's got a grip on me, but I don't want you going down that path. I think those are real talks that should be had.

And with my kid being so much like me, I think that's why I'm very much that way with him. It's like, don't do this, you know, yeah, type of stuff.

Yeah, yeah. And they, you know, explaining your why, I think, is— oh yeah, explaining why, you know, you do that, do as I say, not as I do, too much. And like I said, I think at a certain point they start to say, "Oops, okay." I mean, they're gonna rebel at a certain point.

Yeah.

You have to. Especially certain personalities like me. You just end up doing the opposite of everything. But I think explaining, taking the time to explain the why, like why you feel that way, why you want this for them, I think that becomes such an important tool for their understanding. And comprehension of it.

Yeah.

And the intent behind what you say. I just think that becomes really effective.

And be thoughtful of others, but don't let your life depend on what other people think. Oh my gosh.

I was talking about this on another— on a podcast. The amount— it was a teacher— so the amount of anxiety and kids' suicide right now is just insane because we're in that culture and environment of everyone's on their phone, everyone's posting their best picture and posting like their best version and a lot of it's fake. And like they're always on display. There's just so much anxiety in their life because they care about how many likes they get and shares and they care about the comment section. And I'm blessed that I never cared too deeply. Like I was always under the impression that if you didn't think like me, you're just wrong. Which is, I think, the entrepreneurial side of me, why I have to go like work for myself. Yeah, because I can't have a boss because I'm right, you're wrong.

Yeah.

So I think that helped me with not having that care for other people's opinions. And I just, I don't know how to actually ingrain that into somebody, um, because it's something my, my oldest son, um, is a little bit like OCD, and so he really does kind of care about what people think. And so, you know, we talk about it over and over and over again. It's probably just me, a lifetime of that. Of just constantly repeating the same thing in a sense. Yeah, it may be different ways, um, but yeah, if you can get through life not caring about what other people think, uh, to an extent, you know, obviously you don't want to dress up, you know, never wear clothes and never shower. I care what people think, like, you know, how you smell and certain things in life. And, you know, you have to kind of fit a certain mold sometimes to get a job and, and, um, to be accepted by society. But, you know, be who you are and Don't let other people's opinions crush you. Because that's just no way to live. And the amount of suicides and the amount of anxiety and antidepressants being prescribed to teenagers.

And hearing about 8, 9, 10-year-olds committing suicide, it's like—

Because they care about what their friends or their enemies or their peers think.

Yeah.

And I just, I really wish in those situations the parents were all over them saying, Who cares about what they think? Like, they're irrelevant. None of this matters in a few years. It's just, they're just stupid kids. And at the same time, I think having that strong family bond, I strongly believe in like that, you know, that almost Mormon philosophy of that strong family unit, mom, dad at home, and yeah, and you know, very loving environment. Because even if you're getting the crap beat out of you at school and made fun of at school, which I was, because I was a pudgy redhead, um, with a funny name, and, uh, I was a stepchild, um, so I got made fun of like a lot.

Um, redheaded stepchild, I've been there.

Yeah. But when you have that like really loving environment at home, it's like that stuff doesn't matter as much versus when there's dysfunction at home. And that, yeah, at home, I mean, you just don't have that like that safe space. And I just— and for parents to be able to build that safe space and just— the kid has, no matter who he is or how weird he is or his quirks or whatever, like, he's 100% loved and accepted at home. I think that makes a massive, massive difference. And then on top of that, being told, you know, some kids will come naturally to, but other kids is— like I said, my son, he really cares what other people's opinions are. We're working on that. I mean, we're working. It doesn't matter what that 12-year-old thinks of you. One, we're never gonna see him again. Two, like, it's, it's— I'm big into that.

And if they don't like you, that's their problem.

Yeah, like, you're a good person, right? Yeah, you have good intent. That's all that matters.

That's all that matters. Yeah.

And if everyone thinks you're wrong, you're doing things wrong, but your intent is good and your heart's in the right place and you're, you know, you're living a good life, then Fine, the rest of the world's wrong.

Yep.

You stay true to who you are. Now, if you know, you, you know, you're living more of an evil life and doing things that are, you know, that'd be weird. You know, don't go on a murdering spree and just feel like you're right. It's probably— yeah, keep the murder down to murder minimum.

Minimum. Yeah.

Anything else?

That, that's all I got.

We call it a wrap.

I— you can find on the Utah Podcast Network. It's a network of A bunch of Utah podcasts. We've got 2 or 3 that are fairly active right now, but we've got a big roster. We've been doing— the network's been around about 4 years.

Okay.

Approaching 5 years. My show's been on there most of the time. It's called Your Creativity. Creativity is spelled with an 8 instead of the A. It started as an 8-question blog. Okay. So that's how I build in the legacy into the name.

Cool.

And interview creatives, comedians, actors, filmmakers, fellow podcasters, performers, drag queens, exotic dancers.

Do you have those in Utah? Yeah, I appreciate it. Of course, 100 Dad, uh, you know, find at 100dad.com. Uh, what was— what was Utah?

Utahpodcastnetwork.com.

Okay, and then that's where you're hosted?

Yeah. And @YourCreativity on all the social. Great.

Yeah, 100 Dad on almost all the socials and 100dad.com. That was it. I appreciate it. Thank you.

Thank you.