Tommy Flames talks about becoming an entrepreneur and instilling values in his kids. S2:E3

100% Dad Podcast interviews with Dad Tommy Flames from Kansas City, firefighter. Uh, got a kids line, I think. Is it called Tommy Flames?

Yeah, it's called Tommy Flames, and it's a—

and it's a line of, uh, clothes and things like that, right? And, uh, fire safety lessons.

Yeah. So I'm Chris Molita. I started Tommy Flames about a year ago. Um, this all stems back from probably about 3 or 4 years ago when I started my entrepreneur journey. Uh, I started this journey to, uh, teach my kids that you can do anything you want to do as long as you put your mind to it. And why not try the hardest thing ever but to try to start a business and create a brand from nothing? So, uh, I started the journey. My kids helped me with all the videos and things. I started it just trying to figure out what I wanted to do. So I started researching, you know, kind of businesses, and I was going to start up a mobile oil change business. And my wife and I kind of got into a little argument over me not being home. So I work 24-hour shifts already, so I also get 48 hours off. So I was like, hey, I'll start a mobile oil change, it'll be perfect. Well, turns out I was going to be away from home for too long, so I had to nix that idea. So I started thinking about, uh, soaps and stuff, automotive soaps. That was going to call Firehouse Protectants, and, uh, I went down that path and it just didn't seem like it was me. So I, uh, was trying to make it sound cool and—

hold on, did you, did you just— did you design a new type of soap or were you just reselling, um, somebody else's soap as a private label?

Yeah, I was basically doing a private label. I actually became pretty good friends with a, uh, a chemical company out in North Carolina and we had the samples, everything looked amazing, but it just like, I don't know, I may venture it down the road, I don't know. It's still, I still got it down in my garage and it looks awesome. Um, but I was trying to make soaps sound cool in advertising and this, uh, this saying on there was Fear Nothing, and I was like Man, I really love that saying, fear nothing. So I was like, okay, if I don't do the soaps, I'm going to start a clothing line called Fear Nothing. So I start up a clothing line called Fear Nothing after I did the full Ironman. I've done 4 half Ironmans. And so after I did the full one, I started putting our quotes on t-shirts and stuff. So it was live life, push limits, fear nothing. And it actually ended up doing pretty decent. I was in a couple stores here in Kansas City and I did a bunch of events and got a lot of good, good feedback on it from people. One day I was at the gym and one of the ladies looks at me and says, hey, I love your stuff, but do you do a kids line? And I didn't do a kids line at that time. And I was just sitting there thinking, Okay, kids' line, kids' line. So my family and I went on vacation and we were in one of the souvenir stores and all of a sudden there was like a fire shirt that was being sold there from somebody that never been a firefighter before. And I was like, what, what right do they have to sell fire department stuff if they've never stepped a day in our shoes? So I started batting around this idea and I was like, you know what, I'm going to start a kids line that's based around fire department stuff and all kind of the designs and everything are going to have a story about things that I've done on the fire department. So I started batting around some ideas on names, then I kind of, I wanted this to be like a person, you know. So I made a column and put a bunch of first names that I could think of. Jeff, Joe, Daniel, Chris, you know, and Tom came up and I started jacking around with it. And I was like, Tom, Tom, Tommy. And I was like, man, Tommy's got a ring to it. So I made another column with fire department stuff. And I just went down through it, backdrop, flashover, hose, you know, and Flames was on there. And I looked at it and I go, Tommy Flames. I was like, that's got a ring to it. I love it. I was like, that's what I'm going to go with. One of the best things about it too is one of my idols that got me into the fire service was my grandfather. My grandfather was a KCK firefighter. He made it up to the chief and he was on for the department for 34 years. And His name was Tom. All the old firemen at KCK know my grandfather as Tommy. So I was like, you know, man, that, that's awesome. So, uh, that's when Tommy Flames got started.

How long ago was that?

That was probably about a year and a half ago now. So, okay, Fear Nothing and everything's kind of been a journey for about 3 years, and this really started getting you know, I've really started putting my attention to it this past year and a half.

So you, so you start with soaps, you kill that, you start with, uh, some Fire, uh, or the Fear Nothing merchandise. Um, did you kill that or is that still going?

You know, I, I haven't killed it. It's on the back burner right now. I still, man, I've had, I had a lot of good stuff on it. The hard thing about it is the logos and stuff that I used, I was really getting close to— if somebody wanted to get me on copyright, they could have, or trademark.

Okay. Yep.

Um, because I was using an FN style, you can see. So I was using an FN and somebody was like, hey, you know, there's a gun, you know, with FN, and I noticed that they do the apparel. Nobody's trademarked other than myself the Fear Nothing for apparel stuff. But it's— I was always compared to, you know, No Fear. That was back in the '90s, and I wanted to do something authentic, and that was just out of the blue. That's something my kids and I can do, and this started. So I've done—

so, so before you did soaps, you were a firefighter, um, and you've been a firefighter for what, 8 years?

So I've been a firefighter for 12 years. 12 years in the fire service for 14.

Okay, uh, and obviously it's in your blood. Uh, did you do any entrepreneurial stuff before that, like as a kid or, or in those prior, what, 9 years before you started the soap stuff? Okay, yeah, because I've seen— it seems like a lot of firefighters do that because they have so much time off, um, because y'all, you guys have those awesome schedules, and it seems like a lot of them either get into mechanical stuff like fixing cars Uh, or, you know, a lot of them seem to be contractors or get into real estate and get some rentals, things like that, or flip houses, or, um, because they all seem to be very, uh, very skilled with their hands and they, they seem to like tearing down and building things.

Yeah. And I wanted to do something different, you know, I wanted to do something that not everybody's doing. Everybody's got lawn care or they, you know, like you said, remodel houses. It was like, I want to do something different I want to build something from, you know, the ground up. And like I said, I can rewind a little bit. Yeah, I've been, you know, I'm married.

Hey, don't knock those things. They're still building them from the ground up.

Oh, I—

it's just common. And it— I mean, that stuff could still be wildly successful.

Exactly, exactly.

Uh, married.

Something that I could do with my kids, you know, something, you know not ordinary, I guess you could say.

Unique.

I don't know. Yeah, so, uh, so yeah, I've been married for 10 years, going on 11 here in a couple weeks. I got 2 kids, one's, uh, 10 and one's 8. They do help me in the videos, and, um, they go to— they try to make all the events that I do. Um, especially with COVID like I said, everything kind of pause right there. Um, but I have had a firefighter in the fire service in our family for over 100 years. My grandfather was a firefighter. My brother's a firefighter on KCK. I've got 2 cousins on the fire department here also. So we— there's been a long, long family history of it.

Yeah. Uh, so KCK, is that the Kansas side?

Yeah, that's the Kansas side.

So I had no idea Kansas City was in Missouri until everyone made fun of Trump when he congratulated Kansas for winning the Super Bowl, and everyone made fun of him, called him an idiot because it's Missouri. I was like, I had no idea. Yeah, I've never been up to that part unless you're from here.

Yeah, unless you're from here, you don't know that.

Yeah, and it's right there. So I've been there a couple times now, um, because we have some friends that are on the Missouri side. Uh, that we visited, um, while we've been on tour twice now. And, uh, uh, yeah, so I mean, you're right. I mean, Kansas City is like split in half on the state line. Like, there's a— there's a Kansas part and a Missouri part, and I think the Missouri part's a lot bigger and nicer.

But yeah, yeah, yeah, uh, what the river splits us. So, but yes, I am on the Kansas side.

Okay.

I would— I would say the better side, you know.

Oh, sure, of course. You got to represent the people, the home field.

So yeah, so I was doing events and I was getting a lot of traction. And then, uh, I had, I had an interview with Hallmark and I had an interview with a couple of the hospitals around here and a couple of the, uh, the shops. And all of a sudden I'm on a ski trip and, uh, my buddy start talking about this coronavirus thing and I'm like, what are you, you know, what are you guys talking about?

Don't worry, it's just in Seattle. It's not a big deal.

Yeah, yeah. So we get back from the ski trip, my wife and I celebrate our 10-year anniversary, and I've got all these meetings set up, and bam, the economy shut— everything shuts down. All my meetings get canceled. One of them with one of the hospitals, the lady tells me, she's like, hey, we can't do anything right now, something just came up. And I just, I can't talk right now. And I'm like, okay, well, that was the—

so how are you getting these meetings? Are you just cold calling everyone saying, hey, I got this clothing line, I want to, I want to put it in your store?

Yeah, I start by cold calling. You know, I just, I mean, I'm gonna, you know, let's be honest, that's great, that's great. Yeah, nobody knows who you are right now. Yeah. Um, So not only did I get all my sales stopped, but the next day I'm at the station and they start bringing all this PPE out to us. And I'm like, okay. And so we have our infectious control people coming around. We're like, what are you like, okay, what are you talking about? Is this the movie like Outbreak? Like, what do, what do we need to expect here? So the day that everything went down, I was on shift and they're giving out PPE, masks, everything. And they're telling us, hey, if anybody has any symptoms of a cough or anything, you, you know, so everything dropped it, you know, on a hat right into your lap, and you have to adjust and keep going. So not only do I have all these meetings canceled, but now we're at work in a pandemic and everything changed in a flip of a switch.

Sure.

So not only did that happen But then all of a sudden I've got these people that I met at one of the last, uh, one of the last events that we did messaging me on Instagram saying, hey, did your department run that? Or, I hope this wasn't you. What was a newspaper article of Kansas City, Kansas Fire Department running the first COVID patient in Kansas? And I'm like, I haven't even heard about this yet. Honestly, I still don't know what this coronavirus is. I had to look it up. I'm like, what? What is this, you know? So then the next day my brother calls me, he's like, dude, I just ran the second death in Kansas for COVID. And I'm like, still like, and he's like, man, you know, it just, it reminded me of Outbreak. And it was just like crazy. So now I'm kind of on the back burner and of course my brother, you know, him and I, we've gone through a lot on the fire service. So if we went through paramedic school together, we got on one department together. He went to another one. I went to Kansas City, Kansas, and then he came back to Kansas City, Kansas with me. So we've been doing a lot of stuff. And then he goes up to New York to work in one of the hospitals, asked me if I want to go along. A little different story. He's in divorce and everything, but I had to stay home and take care of my family and stuff where I would have been with him. Yeah. You know, um, so while I'm at home, I'm trying to figure out, you know, I always wanted to do a YouTube channel, Tommy Flames, to educate kids over fire safety and just entertaining videos. But I didn't have the guts to do it because I don't know if you know, but the fire department is like high school on steroids. One person does something funny and everybody knows about it. Spreads like wildfire.

Absolutely.

I didn't have the guts to do the YouTube channel.

And at the beginning, you were worried about getting made fun of from your friends?

Oh, of course, of course. And I mean, they're gonna make fun of you no matter what, but it's still, you know, it's hard, you know. So, uh, I get online and I'm like, okay, My kids are at home. I'm trying to teach them entrepreneurship. I'm trying to teach them, do what everybody's not willing to do. So I'm sitting here telling them that, but yet I'm holding back. So I was at work one day and one of the ladies and I were talking about it. She was like, you need to do a YouTube channel. And so I started tinkering around with green screens and backgrounds and stuff to see if I can make it work. So, uh, I get online, or my kids and I, we make the first like colors videos together, and it just didn't come out the way I wanted it. I'm like, you know, if I'm gonna put these out, I want them to at least look good. Yeah, I wanna, I wanna start, but I need at least them to look good. So I started, I messed around with some green screen stuff before, but I was like, all right, I'm gonna get on Amazon, I'm gonna order a green screen. So I get on Amazon, I order a green screen, it gets here and it says from China. And I'm like, oh man, should I open this thing? Like, should I open? So, you know, long story, I open it and, uh, my fam, my kids and I, we knock out a couple of videos and all of a sudden it's out there, you know, and Like I said, I would just tell him, you know, just do what everybody's not willing to do.

And so 100%, and, uh, I think it's a good, uh, it's a good lesson for, uh, who gives a crap if people make fun of you? Someone's gonna make fun of you no matter what. Some— I mean, people make fun of the Pope, doesn't matter. Yeah, people make fun of the president, people make fun of Olympic athletes. People make fun of Tom Brady. I mean, you could be like the best, the cleanest, and someone's going to make fun of you. Not just someone, but a whole ton of people. So it really just, it doesn't even matter anymore. Just be you.

And so I started thinking about it and you're exactly right. I started thinking about it and I'm like, you know what? This is a lesson to my kids and maybe a message that I can get across to kids. And that's why I came up with Be Your Own Hero. Be your own hero of your movie. Like, who cares what other people think about you? Because at the end of the day, they're not thinking about you. So the life lesson for the kids is just like, do what you want to do. And I have more respect for people that get in front of the camera, that get in front of— that do podcasts and put themselves out there, because it ain't easy.

So at this point, my wife is kicking me out of my truck. I had retreated to my truck as a quiet place of solace to record this podcast, but she needed the truck to run some errands, and being the wonderful, amazing husband I am, I of course let her. But if you can see on video right now, I am just trying to find a new spot to record the podcast, and it being loud with diesel engines outside and quite a glare, I eventually have to retreat inside. But so if you're, if you're one, if you're listening on audio wondering what's going on. I did have to find a new location, and if you're watching on video, I kind of have it sped up just because I enjoy playing with my video options sometimes and experimenting. So you can kind of see me in fast motion trying to find a new spot. But point is, we got a little distracted in the conversation and we picked it up. Here we go.

Awesome, man. Awesome.

Yeah, it's weird, like anniversary, I mean, just like even Yeah, yeah, even my age, uh, we'll get back to it. Even my age, I just struggle to remember anymore. Like, I'm not sure if I'm 33 or 34 or, uh, how it goes. Damn, that sun's gonna be bright.

It'll be like, uh, what grade's your daughter in? I'm like, I don't know, what grade are you in? You know, I'm like, right, I can't keep it all track, you know?

Right. And, um, I know I feel bad. Like, if we ever This happened once. We were going like through the drive-through of a pharmacy and I was picking up one of my kids' medications and they were asking for the birth date. And I'm usually pretty good with that, but just for some reason on the spot right then and there, and like in the back of my head I'm thinking they're gonna think I'm like not his parent or something like that. And like I was struggling to remember. I'm like, ah, that one was born— all right, it was definitely May. All right, that one was, uh, you know, 2017. Like it took me like I had to work through the problem with the pharmacist.

So, oh, I trust me, man. I mean, dude, I feel like I listened to a couple of your podcasts too. And I feel like our mentalities, I feel like, you know, there's only a certain amount of different personalities there are in the world and the things that you talk about, I'm like, oh my God, dude, I do that same damn thing. You know?

So you're, you're what you call a high D personality then. Um, which is, you know, very self-motivated, highly decisive, some people view as a little abrasive.

Yes, exactly like me.

And then you have sub-personality. So I've done personality tests before because we used to do them in my business. So when we would hire somebody, we'd have them do a personality test because it really helps with communication. So when someone like me talks to somebody who's more of like a high C or a high S, you know, they can interpret the words I say much differently than I mean them. And so you— it's very helpful as a leader to learn how to adjust to different personalities and at the same time let them know that you are a different personality. And like, this is how you interpret things, and you just don't— like, I'm not, I'm not really into details. So when you start running details by me, like, I probably just kind of blow it off like I'm bored. It's not that I don't care, it's just it's not important to me. I trust that you know the details. It's not that I don't think you're important or something like that. Um, so like, I want to know the— yeah, so yeah, it's called the DISC profile, D-I-S-C, because I mean, it's a great tool for— it's a great tool for understanding that.

Sorry.

It's a great tool for understanding. It's great for marriages too, on how to communicate, how you receive it. High Ds, which, which you might be, and I definitely tested that way, we represent about 10% of the population. So it really, we're in the minority. And so we, we are received by a lot of people in a much different light than we think. But it's amazing for communication. If you can learn how to identify what other people are, that you communicate even at business meetings, as an employer, in your day-to-day relationships, it really becomes helpful. But yeah, it's called DISC, and they have some free ones that are really basic, and then you can pay for some that really get in depth and are like 100, 200 questions long, and they'll really identify. Because when you get into it, you have your normal personality, then you have your personality under stress, So mine is, mine is a high D and high S. So I'm, I'm really social and really decisive. But under stress, everything goes down to nothing. And I'm just highly decisive. I just make an instant decision. I don't care about any social feelings. I don't analyze. I don't get really detailed. I don't care about other people's feelings. It's just, it's just make— so that's what, that's my under stress personality. It's just push forward.

There's a reason why I open my mouth sometimes when I probably shouldn't. Probably. Gotcha.

Yeah, so it's worthwhile to take, and they have free ones that are a little bit more basic, and they can definitely help you start to understand it, but It's good because my wife and I are complete total opposites in personalities. We already knew that, we just— but, but then those things can like really— they give you kind of tips on how to communicate with each other, like what you need to do, like how you need to present your information to be truly heard.

I mean, it makes complete sense. My wife will be like, I just don't understand.

All right, so, uh, what were we talking about before my wife, uh, interrupted us and kicked me out of my office?

About not caring what people think about you.

Oh yeah, which I think is huge, and obviously you do too, because it's just not important. At the same time, so here's, here's the trick to it. At the same time, I also do think it's important. I think it's important, um, you know, is it in a business setting, unless you're super famous and well known, to dress appropriately and to think how people are going to receive you, how the first impression is going to be met. I think it's important to speak in a way that's received well by others. You know, if you're, if you're Dr. Dre, it's a little different. You can go in wearing whatever clothes you want, you can talk the slang you want. Yeah, you know, but if you're, if, if you're Tommy Flames, nobody knows who you are, then yeah, you kind of gotta, um, you kind of have to adjust to your surroundings.

Yeah.

And you have to think about how they're going to receive you. So, you know, it's kind of twofold. And that's where I guess parenting gets tough because everything's kind of a Everything is a little bit of everything. So don't let people, you know, don't care what other people think about you when you're trying to achieve something, when it's within your morals and values and integrity. At the same point, care a little bit because it is important and it's going to help you in life achieve your goals if you kind of adjust to what society is. If you kind of, you know, if you can dress well, if you can speak well, if you can present yourself well. Those are important skills. So you kind of have to teach both messages, and they're almost contradicting. It just kind of depends on the scenario, if that makes sense.

Yeah, definitely. Because I mean, the thing is, it's just like what I, what I asked my wife is, when is it that we go through a process of when we are kids, we don't care what other people think? You know, when a toddler runs around and plays bad guys and good guys, they don't care what other people think. But when is it that we go through life and we start caring if somebody doesn't— thinks Tommy Flames is funny and is a waste of time? So I look at it and I look at schools and I start thinking about how do they start getting kids to, to get this feeling? You're around all these kids and you're scared to get up and talk to somebody, but As I tell my kids, hey, look at these people that sing, look at these rappers, look at the musicians. I mean, they get in front of thousands of people and do this stuff and entertain them. And at some point they get to a point of where they don't care. But also in the very beginning, those crowds aren't that big and they get booed and they get laughed at and everything, but you just got to keep going. And that's, so that's what I try telling my kids is like, just don't— like you said, know your audience. But if there's something you want to do, if you want to be a comedian, go for it, do it. If you want to sing, do it. Don't care if Joe over there is laughing, because Joe, at the end of the day, maybe he wanted to do it. So it just kind of goes back to the be your own hero and trying to teach kids and going, you know, It kind of goes back to one of the calls I ran, and everybody's probably like, oh, is the best call you ever ran like the movie Backdraft or the TV show Chicago Fire or something like that? Honestly, the one that sticks out to me the most is— so I not only do I ride on a fire truck, but sometimes I'll, I'll ride on an ambulance too. And one day we were running just a non-emergency transfer. We were transferring one patient from the hospital to a facility. It was a psych facility. And it was a girl that wanted to be a boy. And so I was having a great conversation, you know, with him. And it came down to, I knew exactly, you know, he was a teenager and he was getting bullied at school and he couldn't take it. But what I, what I would sat there and I told him, I was like, you know what? The world is huge. Quit worrying about what other people are thinking about you. Be who you want to be. And it was a great conversation. And when I got to the facility and I, I dropped him off, uh, he turned around and he looked at me and said, hey, thank you. You changed my life. And from right there, I just, I kind of knew that this was the path that I wanted to go to and try to teach kids to be your own hero and do what you want to do. As you know, as long as you put your mind to it, you can do what you want to do and be who you want to be.

Yeah, and I think if, if that is true to them— so it has to be your truth. It shouldn't be you copying somebody else, right? It shouldn't be, no, um, hey, your best friend Sally, uh, wants to be a YouTube star, so you're going to try and be too, because it's not going to be true to yourself. And at the same time it's, um, it's true to your, your, your morals and values and integrity. Uh, you know, I think those are the keys. Those, those 4 things in your foundation are very important to then pursuing it, if that makes sense. Yeah, because then it's, then it's real to you. There won't be regrets. Um, there won't be— it's not a bad path, it's not an evil path, it's not a fake path. It's just, it's authentic and real. I think that needs to be said as well. We're not copying other people. We're not being influenced and breaking away from, you know, our core values and who we really are.

Exactly! Exactly. And I mean, you know, and it's just kind of me pushing myself, you know, me pushing myself on how— I don't know, I feel like how uncomfortable you can be, you know, because everybody doesn't want to get in front of people or say, you know, put this dream out there because, I mean, you know how many people are just like, man, I don't know, like a kid's brand? Why would you do that? You know, so I actually have like positive messages that people have sent me in my, you know, my photos so that I can stay, you know, because man, I'll tell you what, I've had— it's just like those, those, uh, negative comments and stuff, they'll eat on you a little bit. So I for myself, keep a positive message page also so that I can clear all that, you know, I guess they call them trolls and stuff like that. So, um, I don't know, I think it's cool. I think what, what message I'm going for and where I'm wanting to go with it, it's fun. And I'll just keep doing it and try to teach my kids on the way of how, how I did it, you know.

That's always good. It's good for— I think it's good for kids to see dad, um, have a goal, pursue it, face adversity, uh, and see, uh, how he handles himself.

Um, you know, you know, I think you hit it right there with face adversity. I mean, I think that that's one of the biggest things is how do you react? You know, when my, my kids would play a sport and they would screw up, I'm like, I'm not mad at you for screwing up. How did you handle yourself when you screwed up? If you drop a ball, a grounder, how did you react after that? You know, I kind of use an example of Patrick Mahomes to my kids. You know, Patrick Mahomes, a big, big name here in Kansas City right now. But I was like, hey, when Patrick Mahomes throws a pass and it gets intercepted, do you see him go off to the sideline and start crying and bellyache that he did it? So no, he picks himself up and he throws another pass the next time he goes out there. He doesn't dwell on that stuff. So it's how do you face this adversity? How do you face when things aren't going your way?

And I mean, I think, I mean, you're sitting there showing your kids, you already have a full-time job. Now, granted, it's a firefighter, which gives you a lot of freedom, but you already have a full-time job. There's real no need for you to work anymore. And yet you're trying to do something you like, do something you love, you know, pursue your passion and pursue, yeah, you know, some extra revenue at the same time. And when you attempted to do that, you weren't afraid to say, hey, this is what I'm doing. Nope, I don't want to do it anymore. I've made a new decision. I'm stopping and I'm going somewhere else in a different direction. And you've done that twice now. So they're also seeing that just because you committed to something, just because you wanted to make a change and make your life better and do this, doesn't mean you won't, uh, you won't kill that thing and move on to something that is a, a better fit or a better path. I think that's— yeah, and I mean, that's gonna be just as good.

Every entrepreneur book that you read, you know, they're like, it's gonna take time for you to finally figure out, you know, what path you're supposed to go down, you know. And I, I don't know, I keep looking back at, you know, Fear Nothing Man, I had a lot of good things happening to me there. You know, I had a girl in New Zealand that right before all the pandemic bought a bunch of stuff and she wanted to start selling it over there, you know, but it was just this gut feeling. I just have this gut feeling about this. And out of all the research and out of all the time that I've been spending, like, it just felt, it just felt right. And so I just went for it. I was like, you know what? I just think that this is the path and I just, I can't dwell on going back and forth on everything because I was trying to juggle them both at the same time. But when the pandemic hit, I just was like, all right, I have to focus on one. I can't focus on two and run my, you know, be a firefighter, have my family and have time. Cause that's one of the big things that I have to work on is being there for my family. You know, my, my wife and I've got in arguments because I'm there, but mentally I'm not there. And you probably have the same, you know, issues. I'm still working on how to focus on business, family, and work and make it all work, you know?

Yeah. I mean, you're, you're describing, um, my entire life. So I would, so what, what, what I ended up, what I ended up getting good at was, um, being— the best term I ever heard was seasonal, to where I would go crazy at work for a while and just push really hard because the business truly needed me. And, you know, there were some times, there were short periods of time, maybe a few weeks, maybe a couple of months to where, I mean, the family would almost not even see me. You know, there were times where the business was either Like, what's the most recent one? Most recent one, we had our manager, um, you know, I discovered he was stealing from us, and I discovered the work— because he was really running the business at that point, uh, all the work he was doing was horrendous. He— the business was in bad shape, um, you know, the way customer accounts were set up was horrible. Like, I, I essentially had to redo everything. Um, no inventory was correct. I mean, it was It was really rough. And on top of that, he was stealing from us. So, um, you know, he got called out on that. He resigned immediately and obviously never stepped foot back in. And so I just had to all of a sudden dig into every single aspect of the business, um, and just do— I mean, I almost completely rehabbed the business from the ground up, which just took— I mean, I was— I'm pretty sure there were nights where I slept maybe 2 hours. I would go home around 1 AM, 2 AM, go home, pass out, maybe sleep an hour or two, wake up 3, 4 o'clock in the morning and go back to work. And just, I mean, they were almost 20, 22-hour days. Um, and that lasted about 2, 3 weeks. Cause I mean, I just, there, there wasn't enough time. I just, I had to do everything. I had to do it fast. Um, and there was just nobody else to do it. I couldn't hire someone, um, and train them and bring them up to speed. Like it just, someone knowledgeable had to jump in. Um, uh, and I mean, the kids probably thought I died or something like that. I mean, they just didn't see me. I mean, they didn't see me for probably 3 weeks. My wife barely saw me. Um, she just knew I got in the bed. Um, and so there, there are times like that. That, that was the most extreme one that we went through. Um, but there are definitely times where I just work a ton of hours, but then I can lay off that throttle, and then I'm home, you know, my warehouse has always been a couple, couple minutes from the house. So, you know, I can still go into work at 5 AM, swing back home around, you know, we homeschool as well. I can swing back home around 7, 8, 9 o'clock in the morning, have breakfast with everyone, you know, say hi, say my good mornings, you know, be there for 20, 30, 40 minutes and then go back to the warehouse. I can do that for lunch as well. You know, there were many, many times, again, perks of being a small business owner, where the family would just come to me. They would come have lunch at the warehouse or, you know, just randomly show up and do homeschool in the conference room. Or, you know, we'd have dinner at the warehouse sometimes if I'm working hard.

Yeah, I mean, yeah, kind of like what you, you know, this mindset of, I don't, I want to be there for my kids because they're only this age once. I remember I work out at the YMCA and all the, all the old-timers, when I would bring my kids in there, you know, the child watch, they were like, hey, have fun with it because it's gonna, you know, it's gonna fly by. And my wife and I look at it now and, you know, my son's 10 and my daughter's 8, and we're like, that flew by, flew by.

Yeah, you know, it, it does seem to go fast, but I mean, and the more time you spend with them, the slower it kind of gets, like I will say the last year of my life has gone by at a snail's pace. I mean, it's just— but I'm with them like every freaking second and every minute of the day.

I mean, it's just, you know, I feel bad, like, you know, even through like this pandemic, because, you know, uh, I, I haven't even hit on the part where, you know, a month ago at Thanksgiving, I ended up actually contracting COVID, and I had to, um, I had to quarantine my whole family. Um, and so we were here again for another 3 weeks together. And like you said, it gets to a point where you—

hey, did you quarantine with your family or did you quarantine away from your family?

So, so I quarantined with my family. Yeah, I, you know, you know, my thought, you know, I just, my wife and I are just kind of like, hey, this is a part of life cycle. If something's supposed to happen to our family, it's supposed to happen to our family.

But well, you're, you know, you're all young and healthy and it's, it, you're, you're such a less risk factor. And I'm almost to the point to where it's kind of like chickenpox.

Yeah, we stayed at home. I mean, we all stayed at home. Um, like I said, I ended up having mild symptoms. Nobody in the house else contracted it, but you know, it got to a point where my boy's telling me a joke and I'm like, I've heard this joke like 10 times now, man. Like, I'm done with this joke.

You know, you got to teach them a new joke.

But I'm, you know, I'm, I'm also a big advocate on, you know, kids need that social aspect. You know, so them getting out and getting that socialism, you know, it just is good for them. And they don't need to be around mom and dad all the time.

But I, I, I 100% agree.

Um, yeah, I don't know, uh, but one of my—

it was the, the more you, the more you focus on time with your kids, the longer it's going to go. And the more you focus on work, the quicker it's going to seem to go. It's kind of like, I don't know if you were an athlete, um, and did you, did you ever do athletics in high school or college?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I played baseball.

Used to happen, and, and, and some of the, you know, I've heard other people say this too, when you're really zoned in, like, the, the, the sport slows down for you. I don't know if that's ever happened to you, but when you're really, when you're really hyperfocused, like, it's almost like everything's moving in slower motion. Um, and that's how I kind of feel that, that's how I kind of feel time was. Like, what, whatever you're hyper-focusing on almost slows down to an extent. Does that make sense? It's really weird way to think about, but that's the way I feel. You know, when I was really in the zone wrestling, like, I could just— everyone was projecting to me. I could see exactly what they're doing. I could my— I never felt like I was— I never felt like I was moving in slow motion. I could just see everything slower. Uh, and same thing, you know, playing football.

Like, when you were nervous, you did better when you were nervous than when you were relaxed? Um, I always feel like when I went up to hit, like, if I was nervous about going up to hit, it always seemed like I always hit. It was when I went up there relaxed, it was like I was like, oh man, I'm gonna freaking— I'm gonna nail this one, you know? And it just always seemed like it went the opposite way.

I don't know, I, I never had nerves like during a sporting event. It like— it was building up to it. Like, my, my thing was always, let's just get this started and over with, because by then the nerves are over, um, once you get that first second out of the way. Um, yeah, so I was at the— the only time I can really remember it affecting was, I think, my freshman or sophomore year. I was varsity wrestling and I had to go against this guy that was a state qualifier and he was good and he was much older and, you know, I was as a freshman, I was 171-pound weight class, which is, you know, in high school that's all juniors and seniors, like you don't get a lot of freshmen in the heavy, in the heavier weights and so I had this like kind of like smooth boyish frame.

Yeah, yeah!

And they had, you know, and you know, they're almost men, like they're getting really, you know, they have a lot more testosterone in their region so I had So I was really nervous, you know, because this guy seemed like— it was— it seemed like David and Goliath. And I remember being most nervous for that one. And then, uh, I, you know, I won that match, but I was super duper nervous. And things did not— you know, that was my freshman year. Things were not moving slow for me. It was my junior, senior year where things slowed down. Um, that's the only time I remember being like really nervous. Um, and I just remember just everything was on instinct. So it's kind of like I had closed my eyes and just wrestled almost out of fear and instinctive movements. And I think I squeaked out of that one with the win. I think I won by like a point in overtime or something. But that's— I don't know, I just never really got nervous. Once that first second was over with, you're already in it. So there's nothing really— nothing to be nervous about.

Yeah, and I mean, it's that adversity and those things that you can teach your kids from there because I mean, That's what I always say. Hey, step up to the plate, give yourself an opportunity. You can't have an opportunity if you don't step up to the plate, you know, because one of my, my son got really upset that they lost. They, they did really good in football one year and they, uh, they lost in the championship game and he's pretty, he was pretty upset and I said, hey dude, you gave yourself an opportunity. There's a lot of kids that don't even give themselves an opportunity. They get scared and they don't want to step up to the plate. Played, but he's like, you have to give yourself an opportunity.

Yeah, that's what always irritated me about football. It doesn't matter how well you play, um, sometimes your teammates screw it up for you or your coach. That's why I always liked wrestling over football more because like there's only one person to blame when you're wrestling.

True, true, true. Um, but yeah, they played a pretty good team and it was just like, hey man, you guys, you got— you just have to work harder next time. You know?

Yeah.

But I mean, it just all leads and I mean, it just all leads back to, you know, what I'm doing now is kind of the path of what, you know, I just wanted, I want to teach my kids, you know, and I don't know. I just, I feel like this was stuff and going through this entrepreneur journey, you know, entrepreneurship journey that. I wasn't taught as a kid, you know. It's just, it's, it's really weird and it's hard to explain to people, but like, I don't know, I just, I read a book once and it talked about, you know, you have to be the producer before you can be the consumer. And reading that article and thinking about it, and it's like, you know, most of us are born and conditioned from our family, which isn't a bad thing, to buy stuff. But why not create it? Why not create that path or create something that you can have fun with, you know?

Well, I think along the same lines, I think most people, most people are followers instead of leaders.

I, yeah, I, I believe it, you know, and it's just I don't know, it's just trying to teach my kids something differently than what I didn't learn, you know. And I, I went through a phase of, like I said, when I was doing the oil change business, I think my wife getting on me for it— and she hates when I'm like, oh, she gets on me, but you know, I, that's just the way I, I'm not good with words, you know. But she got on me for it, and I was like, you know what, I think it was a blessing in disguise because When you open a mobile oil change business, you are handcuffed to your time where you can only change a certain amount of oil a day. But if you create a product, time is now your ally. That time can be sold online, that time can be sold in California, it can be sold in New York, you know, like, so it's just thinking outside the box with this stuff and enjoying it while you do it, you know, because I hate to sit there and just seem like this was all about, you know, back to a wife getting on you.

I think, um, I think, I think who we marry is very important. I think you should marry someone that you, you know, your values really align. I feel like I've been dropping that word a lot in this conversation, but really, like, at your core, you guys really align, but your personalities are almost different. Um, because it's— I think it's really good to have that conflicting opinion. Um, you know, I, I, I think you should both be very supportive of each other, but not at the same time not afraid to express your opinions. Um, I think a woman's intuition sometimes is very, very useful to rein in people like you and I who will kind of run off and conquer the world. Um, you know, even in a business sense, and then they kind of reel you back in. Um, you know, I, I don't necessarily agree with the premise of, um, you know, the whole time thing, because if you had gotten really good and branded well that oil change business, I mean, what would you have done? You're a business owner, you hire it out, you end up having 10 guys doing mobile oil changes, and you build a business around that. Uh, so while in the beginning, um, and, you know, same thing with pressure washing, lawn mowing, in the beginning, yeah, it's your time, And eventually, you know, you can obviously stick with it that way and it's always just you, your time and your service, you know, but eventually if you have the mindset for it, you know, you can build it into a business. You can absolutely scale it.

I look at everybody and say, hey, there's your idea right there, because I'm telling you, people don't want to change their oil. And if you get, like I said, you can go into a business and say, anybody want me to change your oil right now? You know, and I guarantee everybody will be like, yeah, go for it.

You know, I know some guys that do it, uh, in the mobile, uh, mobile repair techs are a little bit more difficult. So you can do like the simple ones are easier to do mobile. The more difficult ones, it's hard to start to do that in a parking lot sometimes.

And certainly you got to have a good mechanic too. Yeah. Um, but you're exactly right for my wife keeping me grounded. Because I'll go on like morning runs and I'll tell you what, I could solve all the world's issues after that run and I'll come home with an idea and she's like, are you kidding me? And I think she gets upset because she's like, oh God, he's, he's being serious. But she keeps me grounded and that's a good thing because I'm a dreamer and she's like more of a realist. She takes care of the stuff here around the house. I get that.

I have a thousand ideas while taking a shower. Now, probably 999 of them are stupid, but I mean, there is never a shortage of ideas in this head that I want to go chase. And, um, you know, listen, 99.999% of them will never be pursued. Um, but yeah, it certainly drives my wife crazy.

So, oh yeah, she's like, what now? You're gonna do this? You know, because one of the things I want to do is I want to start And it's a little hard when you start out, you know, I want to start donating, you know, some time back, you know, because I've ran some pretty tough calls with kids and, you know, terminally ill with cancer and stuff. And I want to give back, you know, and kind of get to the hospitals and stuff like that to the kids. And obviously with COVID it's not happening, but, you know, I ventured around to the idea.

You also have to get successful in order— you also have to get successful in order to give.

Um, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I think a lot of people forget that sometimes is, you know, how we have huge, uh, benefactors and generosity and charity is because people were successful. Tell— that's how entire hospitals get built, is by guys like that that have been ridiculously successful that you think they have too much money. That's who's funding new towers to hospitals. That's who's giving massive donations to these charities that help people. And when you don't have that kind of excess cash to where your life is comfortable, your next generation is comfortable, that giving just won't exist.

Yeah. And so, yeah, I wanted— like I said, I wanted to buy a fire truck and take it around to, you know, the children's hospitals and stuff, and hopefully one day get to a point where I can beat John Cena at how many, you know, Make-A-Wish Foundations. And so one of my buddies that runs, you know, he's pretty successful, has an apparel company here in town, called me one or texted me one day and said, hey, I got a fire truck for sale. And she was like, are you kidding me? Where are you going to park this thing for one? And I'm like, okay, like, all right, it's on my list, but I can't do it just yet.

Listen, you can always find an older fire truck, and they're relatively— you can pick them up for like $4,000 or $5,000. I've had a friend who bought one of the, like, a 1970s fire truck, and he, uh, he repainted it and put his, like, logo on it and took it to, like, kids' birthday parties, and it was a great advertising tool. Um, they're always available though. It does.

It gets attention. This is why we're connecting here, because it makes sense to me. She sees it as a liability, and I'm like, it's advertising. It's all—

and when you're in this, when you get older trucks like that, um, at least in Florida, uh, you don't have to carry, um, as much insurance on it. Um, like, you don't have to do, uh, comp and collision because it's an antique and those things don't need, um, you know, to be heavily insured. You want liability, obviously.

Well, yeah, definitely, definitely. And it's like, I already know how to drive the thing. I drive one every day, you know, or every third day.

Um, so, so more tactical into business, uh, so you're doing t-shirts. Are you doing print on demand or are you, uh, ordering in, uh, bulk quantities and shipping them out from your garage?

I actually do all the printing myself. So when I, uh, I started doing Fear Nothing and I was coming up to one of the big events here, the Kansas City Marathon, and I needed prints or I needed shirts printed But the print company that I was running for, like, it was crazy what I was paying for them. So I was like, man, I got to start printing these on my own. So you bought a— so I found a screen printer and I bought it and I drove. I took me and my family out 4 hours out in the middle of Kansas to Parsons, Kansas to pick this screen printer up.

That's awesome.

I bring it home and I'm like, all right, sweet, I'm gonna do this. Little did I know that you have to have a dryer to dry the ink onto the shirts or it's going to wash off. So I gained the courage up and I go down to one of my buddy's dad that owns a sporting goods store here, and they do a bunch of print stuff and they've been awesome. I owe them so big. They let me come in there and print on one of their old stationery printers, you know, and I, you know, they just helped me out so much. So I've actually learned how to screen print myself. I screen print everything, all the design work, everything is done by myself. Are you still using the printer you bought? No, I actually end up selling it to somebody.

Okay.

Because I, I have to have a dryer at the house and I, you know, to have an exhaust vent put in and everything, like, that's why—

Did you turn a profit on that buy and sell or did you, uh, did you lose?

I lost $50 on it, which was— I was like, all right, I'll take that if somebody just wants to buy a screen printer. So I lost a little bit on it, but it wasn't a huge loss what I thought I was going to lose on it. So yeah, so I— they've helped me out. Um, I do all— like I said, I do all the design work, the print. Everything's got a story behind it. So like, I think one of them is, uh, it says, uh, party at my house on the back of it. I get a lot of events, everybody asking me what it's like to stay the night at the firehouse. And I said, you remember as a kid when you stayed the night over at your friend's house? That's what it's like to stay at a firehouse, other than we have to run calls in the middle of the night. But if you get a good crew and you guys enjoy each other, like, it's a fun time. You're gonna have a lot of fun. Um, so that's why I called it Party at My House. Um, but I want to I want to extend it out. I want to start getting like Dalmatians, you know, stuffed Dalmatians. I've got book ideas. So I wrote one of the, uh, one of my YouTube videos is called See You at the Big One. That is, uh, my like, uh, um, bedtime story. So being a firefighter, you know, when we go to bed, the captain doesn't come and tuck us in and kiss us on the forehead and tell us good night, you know, guys would just say, hey, we'll see you at the big one. Meaning, you know, there's a big fire or something. We don't want it to happen, but if it happens, we want to be there. So I want to go to books. I want to, you know, I've got all this. So I'm terrible at drawing, and that's why I started the YouTube channel. I'm decent at graphic design. So now instead of drawing it out, I can have my kids and I act it out.

I'm an operator at heart, so I'm more— I'm really interested in the practical aspects of this because you got a lot of great ideas and creativity and ways you're going to take this. And it sounds actually all really good. And I think you're going to kill at it. It's easy to get super distracted, as with a mind like yours, because you'll want to go 10 million different ways. So focusing on a few is probably, you know, I think this sounds like that's what your wife is saying. It's probably really good advice. So these shirts, yeah, so you're— are you just— you get an order in on your online website and, uh, you know, let's say you get 5 orders a day, are you just getting those 5 orders a day, going down to your friend's, uh, print shop, making those 5, and then shipping them out?

No, I'll go down— like, I have a handful on hand right now, and then when those get low, I'll go down and I'll print like 10 or 15 more. Of it so that I'm not always— yeah, so I'm not always going back down because that will— it wears on you when it's like, man, I got— I had gotten, you know, because I'll run into an issue where I'll be missing one of the size and then somebody, or of course somebody orders the size I don't have, and then it's like, okay, always now on Friday I've got to go down and, you know, do some printing, you know. But it's nice, I get to go down there and you know, meet with them and see them. And, you know, they're good people, you know.

Now, have they become your, your raw supplies warehouse too? Like, do you just go down there and kind of pull off their shelves the shirts you want, or are you ordering those and storing them at home?

The nice thing is, is, uh, we have an apparel company out here that they'll supply it all. And luckily here in Kansas City, they, they had a warehouse. So either I can drive out there, I can have them get it shipped to me.

Oh, that's nice.

Which is really nice, actually.

Yeah, I mean, that's something like—

they're like one of the big—

we're just starting to, um, get into clothing. We're going to release some, and it's not going to be, uh, I don't think it's going to be a big moneymaker for us. In fact, I think we're pricing these to where if I sell like 500 to 600 units a month, we'll break even. Other than that, it's going to cost me— it's like every shirt I sell is going to be a loss, so it's not going to be fun. Uh, but I don't mind because I'm more about just getting the brand out there and building it up. Um, but because we're mobile, it's been a frustrating experience. If I was still at home and we were stationary, you know, living in St. Augustine, Florida, man, I would just— I would order bulk of all the sizes and, and, um, you know, be testing out different fabrics and things like that. And, you know, probably do something like you did and order my own printing setup and then realize it was wrong and You know, I don't want to do it that way. Yeah. But so we're setting up for print on demand now, and I just don't— I don't love the print on demand process, but it, you know, I can't— I just don't have the space in an RV to store, you know, 15 different designs and 8 different versions of each of designs, and then all the multiple colors of each of those. And I'd be, you know, I'd be in trouble.

Yeah. I mean, I, I dabbled around in the print on demand when I very first started because, like I said, I have a lot of designs that I want to get out there. Um, I had good, good success with them, but also knowing that if you screen print, every single time you change a color, it's a different screen that needs to be printed. So I'm like, I have like these shirts that you have printed that like one little strip is like a color. I mean bare minimum, and they're like, yeah, that's another $20 or something. And you're like, what? But when you start going through the process, you start getting why it costs what it does, because they have to burn a whole new screen just for one little color. Even if it's like a dot on an eye, that's a whole different screen, you know. Um, but I mean, the print on demand, you can get— you know, there's a lot of people that do you know, really well on print on demand. You know, I just kind of— I just like the control of myself to have it. And like I said, I'm 100%—

I want to do it. I want to do every single thing myself. I just— it's, it's not physically possible. And there's no way I'm— we're already gonna— we're already running this thing at a massive loss because we don't generate any income. I mean, we just— we have nothing to— we have nothing to sell. We don't do sponsorships. I mean, We're going to have to move in that direction. You know, eventually I think we're going to do some live events and things like that, hopefully soon. COVID kind of put a damper on that.

Yeah.

But in reality, I'm feeding this thing and this is more of like a mission and a, you know, you're talking about giving back. It's almost, you know, a calling in my sense. So I don't mind feeding it for a while, but eventually I would like it to at least take care of itself. Um, and so, you know, I'm not going to rent a warehouse and hire a manager on top of the losses we already have.

Yeah, let me ask you, how did the conversation go with your wife when you told her that you were going to pick up and you were going to do this in an RV, fifth wheel? You know, how did that go over?

For starters, for starters, I'm, I'm relatively smart, so I, uh, I did not just spring that on her one day just like that. I didn't say, hey, We're going on an RV, uh, for years, and I'm taking you with us, and we're all just going to do what I say, and you have to live with it. Um, so that, that was step one, is I didn't spring it on her like that. It, it was gradual, something we kind of talked about. We floated the ideas. Um, you know, the way we did this is not my original intent. The idea I had— so what, 100% Dad really started to form uh, maybe about 4 years ago, uh, and then it was kind of— it was more of a book, um, and parenting books suck. And so what I originally thought was we were going to do like a Guinness Book of World Records longest book tour, and we were just going to have book signings every day and just go to every bookstore everywhere and like stay in a city for 5 or 6 days and hit every bookstore and have signings, you know, multiple a day. And I'd have this big trailer filled with books and, you know, some music equipment and some basketball hoops, and we would just set up like a mini event at all these bookstores in the parking lot. And that was— and then see the country at the same time. That was kind of the intent. And there was really no practical way to get there. So it was just— it was just a dream and a thought at that point. And then fast forward a few years, you know, the book is— I hate parenting books. I think they all suck. They're just really boring to read. And then I discovered, you know, I've been on— I'm in the age generation, I'm 34, to where Facebook was getting big. You know, when I was in college, I went to West Virginia University, and that was Facebook back when you had to be attending a major university with a major university email address. And, you know, all your friends that went to community college or weren't in college and your parents weren't on Facebook, it wasn't allowed. You know, it started with you had to have Ivy League address and you had to be a major college, and then a lot more colleges got in, and then eventually they opened it up to everybody. And I remember I deleted my Facebook account when that happened, and I sent Facebook a message. I'm like, you're not cool anymore. You just like— my grandparents are going to be on this thing. I don't want to be on. Then a year later I got back on.

So you went to MySpace?

MySpace was dead before then. I, I just think— and remember, Facebook was so different back then too. It wasn't what it is now. Um, I don't know if you remember at all, it was— it is a totally different, uh, site than it was. I remember when they started releasing where you could see what your friends were doing, and we all felt like stalkers. Like, we talked about it when they released it, that whole news— it was a board, I think, at that point, um, but it was basically the news feed. And we're like, man, what everyone's doing is just being shoved in front of us. Like, I feel like a stalker.

Yeah.

And yet we all continued to do it, so Yeah, but it used to actually have a— used to actually have a page that was about you, and now you just— it seems like it's all a news feed now.

Well, it's all advertisement now, you know.

And I hate— yeah, it had no advertising.

I hate doing it, but it's like, that's— I have to do it, you know. Like, there's so many shady things that I found out about Facebook and Instagram and all this stuff. Going through this journey that it's like if you're not doing it, then you're behind the 8-ball because that's what everybody's doing, you know.

Well, that's, that's what eyeballs are. So that like, if you want people to know, if you want people to know about Tommy Flames, if I want people to know about 100% Dad, um, the way for people to know about is to get on these social medias, create accounts, and that's how people are going to find you. And then being creative in the ways that you get exposed to, um, you know, same thing with YouTube. I mean, you have to go where attention is, and it's— there's not a lot of it on TV anymore. So, you know, TV TV commercials, they'll work, they'll get you a segment of the population, but not all of it. You know, magazine ads and newspaper ads aren't, aren't going to do much. Radio ads aren't going to do much. So billboards aren't going to do much. So really, the way we get people to know is we get on Instagram, we get on Facebook, we get on YouTube and TikTok and whatever else there is. And that's how we get in front of people and people find out about it. And that's just kind of the reality of it. And when that changes, I'll change with it. I, you know, I've noticed a big follower drop, um, in the last few weeks because a lot of people have gotten mad. So a lot of conservatives or Republicans have gotten mad at Facebook and Twitter and, uh, Instagram for, uh, blocking Trump. Uh, and so you just notice, like, you can see the day they had the Capitol stuff, or whenever he got blocked, like, you can see that day, like, unfollows just jumped, like, pretty high.

Yeah.

It's not because the content you're putting out, it's just because, you know, people are fleeing the platform. And, um, yeah, maybe, uh, maybe there's gonna be a new platform that pops up. I know, uh, there's been a few. I think what, Parler, MeWe, um, a couple others, but they're not— they're honestly not big.

If you want to make some money and you can make a— yeah, you can take— I mean, I feel like at this point right now I feel like if you can make a, like I said, a parlor or whatever you call it, this is your opportunity to maybe take over Facebook. What Facebook, you know, but you can't go too— I don't know, on it because I just— I don't know.

That's what MeWe is, right? And, and I don't see MeWe getting that big, but you know, maybe they do.

Honestly, I didn't even know what MeWe was when you said it. I'm like, uh, what is that one? But let's hit your book idea. Like, I love your book idea because you're exactly right on. There's not a lot of books out there that put it out. Let's be real. Like you said, 100% Dad. We're all different. Like, I feel like, you know, my wife and I even said once that we're like, you know what, we just need to make a parenting book, you know, because I feel like I don't know, like, I'm not, I'm not easy on my kids. I'm pretty hard on my kids because that's the way I was brought up, you know. But I, I've read some of these books, I've heard some of this stuff, and I'm like, guys, this isn't, you know, let's, let's kind of be real here. We all know the real world's tough, and being a firefighter, I, I see all of the different sides of society, you know. And that's what I try teaching my kids is like, it's not easy out in the real world. So when you start talking about a 100% Dad book, I'm like, and be legit about it, you know, because dads need— you know, there's just a lot of stuff that we can teach our kids. And, you know, I feel like some of it, it, you know, it gets I don't know, do you call it like vanilla flavored or something?

It gets washed down and, you know, eased out so that everybody's okay with reading it, where it's like, because, because you're worried about someone's going to make fun of you or someone's going to call you out or, you know, screenshot and embarrass. And I've just, um, I, I've gotten over the care for that. I mean, someone's— no matter what, no matter what I put out there, someone's going to rip on it. And we've had plenty of that.

Um, and I mean, everybody's gonna be, you know, it's okay if you are very, you know, taking care of your kid this way, but it's okay for me to take care of my kid this way or this way, you know. So it just— I, I love it.

I mean, we're different, we're different people with different— yeah, we're different people with different families and different personalities like we talked about earlier. So one style, one meme, one parenting book of say it, do it this way cannot and will not ever apply to everybody.

Yeah. And I mean, you could, because I mean, and every kid is different. You know that, like my son is very stubborn-headed and he is very a personality where my daughter is very you know, giggly, goes with the flow, like doesn't care. But my boy is very structured. So every kid's going to be different. But if you could pull out a nugget out of this book or something where you could use it in your everyday, I, I love it. I love the idea of a book.

And so that's why we went to social media. Um, we, you know, we basically put out those nuggets. We put out bite-sized pieces of information that essentially came from the book. And we stick them out in a format that people absorb in today's world, which is, you know, memes, Instagram memes and short videos and things like that. So, but you're right. I mean, you know, your kids are going to have different personalities. Parents have different personalities and you have to be able to adjust on the fly and you have to be able to, you know, keep your core— saying it again— keep your core values and morals. And be able to get to the, uh, the finish line while staying within those guidelines. And it's not going to be the same path every time. It's going to be, uh, it's going to be adjusting on the fly and adapting. And every time you have to do that—

and that's what I try telling my kids too, is like, you know, I'm still learning at this. You know, I'm not 100% perfect on everything. You know, there's some times where I've lost it and I've had to apologize to my kids and say, hey, you know, this wasn't right, the what I did, you know, because I'm still learning. But I also look at them and tell them, hey, you know what, my dad never said this stuff to me. You know, that's— it was a little different where when I grew up, like, Dad didn't hang out with you. Dad got home from work And I try telling my kids it's a little different because both my parents had to work when I grow up, you know, where— when right now with me, I do get a lot of time off, but you know, a lot of people are like, oh, well, firemen, they don't work. But we work 24-hour shifts. We actually work more hours a week than everybody, than the normal public, because we do the 24-hour shift. But my wife is also a nurse, so that gives her—

yeah, but your hours are spent playing Monopoly. And cooking dinners and sleeping and having poker games.

Hey, and but, but when you call, we drop everything we're doing and we're there at you at your worst time of your life.

That's true. And firefighters are now more, um, more medical responses now, aren't they? Like, you, when's the last time you actually put out a fire versus going to different heart attacks and car accidents?

Now we do still run quite a bit of fire at KCK. So, uh, what was it, 23rd December, right before Christmas, we ran one.

Um, but it's the second week of January right now.

Yeah, but I mean, dude, the medical calls we run, we'll run at the station I'm at, we'll probably at least run 10 every shift. Um, that's at least— like I said, there could be more in there. But I try to tell them, it's like, we get a lot of time with you guys. Where when I grew up, you know, you know, bless my dad, but he was, he was done by the time he got home. You know, he'd probably go out and play a little catch with us, wrestle around a little bit, but Dad was done. You know, so a little different the way I was brought up. So like I said, everybody's— everybody, the way they take care of their kid is going to be different. But like I said, I also don't sugarcoat a lot of stuff with my kids, but that's just, that's just me.

You know, I, I think it's important for, um, dad to continue to be manly. Dad to, um— I, I strongly believe in discipline and structure. Um, I also strongly believe in showing your tender side and that you're loving them and that you're kind, you know, at the same time. I think both are needed. I think you can be that tough hard-ass dad and still, you know, hug and love on your kids and know that they can always come to you. But you have, you know, you have firm strong expectations for them.

Yeah, and I mean, and that's kind of where my wife and I are right now, you know, with my kids at the age they are, they're starting to get ready for, you know, middle school and high school is going to be right around the corner that we're, we're trying to get to a point of where, hey, how do you get your kids to come talk to you when some of these things happen in school? You know?

So I think it is so 100% important to say that exact thing. And to— and, and, you know, even as a business leader, you know, you have to repeat things over and over. You have to say things like 200 times before it's actually heard. But hey, buddy, just so you know, you can always come to Dad. Like, if something awkward's going on, if something embarrassing happened, if you're in trouble, if you're scared, if, if no matter how awkward or how weird, Dad's gonna sit down and listen to you, and I'm gonna take it seriously. But, you know, I'm always here for you. I never want you to avoid a conversation with me because you think I'm gonna react wrong, or I'm going to be mad at you, or I'm going to make fun of you. You can always come to me. And I think that needs to be said over and over so that when that happens, and it will happen, that they, that they will, that they can and will come to you.

Well, yeah, and I mean, you know, because my dad will be like, well, why didn't you ever tell me that? Because, Dad, because we were deathly afraid of you, you know, which is a good thing. Because when the teacher was at school and she said, "Hey, I'm going to call your parents," like you straightened up immediately. You knew that it was like, "Oh God, do not call my dad," you know. But I also don't want to instill that in my kids where they can't come talk to me about these issues because I know, like let's all be honest here, kids are going to go through these issues. And they're, you know, high school is tough. And so we want to open up and make sure that the kids will be able to come talk to us during these situations.

So, um, did you go to public school your whole life?

Yeah, yeah. Okay.

Yeah, so I, I went most years. I did a little private school, a little Catholic school, and mostly public school. Um, for— I don't know if any of your kids are of similar mindset to you, but I think the biggest disservice public schools do, and it's kind of one of the reasons we homeschool is they don't really— and I'm sidetracking here— they don't really, um, teach you how to think for yourself and how to think independently. It's almost like they are training, uh, they are training kids to follow and listen and do as you're told. And so that's where I think, as a, as a father, as a parent, um, where, you know, public schools— I don't know, I went to it a lot, but I think it's important to kind of um, if you have a kid with that personality, let them know that it's okay to think differently and to challenge, uh, traditional thoughts and to, um, express your ideas. And, uh, yeah, because I, I think stifling that is a disservice to kids. I think it's a disservice to the world because then you're not going to have those, uh, those game changers. But, you know, if the public school is really not going to teach leadership skills It's just they're teaching you, they're teaching you to sit down, shut up, and follow the rules. Whereas, um, I'm trying to almost go the opposite way with, with my kids.

And I mean, because I said it's because it's all based on those state testing. Hey, do we get funded because of the state testing? Are we a blue ribbon school or whatever? And I'm like, hey, I, I, I love to say this because it's like You know, like you said, is I want to teach my kids a little differently than what I did because everybody can be taught to pass a test. You know, I felt like school was a lot of memorization, and if you could memorize something, you're good. You know, it's not like you said, thinking outside the box. Hey, what are, what are the life lessons? Oh well, here, you know, let's read out of this book and memorize this. Like, I just, I don't know. I, my wife said something about, I guess my kids are getting ready for the state testing next week or something. And I'm like, I just hate that because it's like, okay, I took the state testing as a kid and what did it get me? You know, like, I don't know, somebody may think differently, but I was just like, I like said, I kind of agree with you on the public schooling on some of this stuff. They all have to pass these tests, and if they don't get past the test, then they don't get funding. Well, how, how is that benefiting the kids? Like you said, even a kid that, you know, a game changer, how you said it, you know, somebody that's thinking outside the box and has all these ideas, you know, it's about moving a large amount of kids through the system.

And you kind of— and with that, you kind of have to, um, the kids that are accelerating, you kind of have to bring them down a bit, and the kids that are, um you know, getting left behind, you got to bring up a little bit. And it's, it's hard, it's hard to move a class of, you know, 30, 40, 50 kids at the same pace. It's just, it's very challenging, which is why private schools are, are doing better with education because they have smaller group size. You can, you can accelerate the faster learners, you can, you can slow down the pace for the slower learners. You can adjust how you present the material to different, to different kids and how they learn. But I think I was— I read this at one point years ago that the education system we have is kind of based off the, essentially the industry, the, the effects of the Industrial Revolution to where our education system was really about creating factory workers and blue-collar work because that's the workforce we needed back then. And so it was really about getting people up to speed real quick on the basics and, uh, being able to work in a factory, being able to follow orders, being able to do what you're told. And that's just, you know, that's not the world we live in anymore. We need more creative, uh, creative ideas. We need more, uh, independent thinkers. We, we need the person that's going to go out there and solve the energy crisis, that's going to come up with a a real solution for clean energy. I mean, there's gonna be a real thing. We need someone to go out there and solve cancer. Um, you know, there's so many, uh, there's so many big real issues we have that, uh, are not going to be solved by, you know, stand in line and do as you're told. We have a school in St. Augustine. I don't know if it's a school or the school district, but the elementary school, um, they were They've stifled the children so much. Um, our neighbor's kids go there that during, uh, cafeteria, during lunchtime, the kids are not allowed to talk. They're not allowed to get out of their seat or even, uh, talk with each other anymore because the principal was getting upset about how loud the cafeteria was and how rambunctious things were going. To where, my goodness, I mean, how, how, how oppressive and stifling is that?

We had the same issue at lunch. They have a red, yellow, green light on the wall, and then if they start getting too loud, it moves down to the yellow, and then if it moves down to the red, then everybody's got to be quiet. And I'm like, so what, we're conditioning the kids over this light? Like, these kids' minds are rolling right now that they— this is their opportunity We're like I said, I feel like they're being molded. I think we watch the same video because I, I, or listen to the same thing. I remember seeing that on the factory worker thing, but that's why I tried telling my kids, you know, to think outside the box. Do what you want to do. You can do, man, just think about all these businesses that were created by just regular Joes. Some people didn't even have you know, high school education. Like, I feel like if you can push yourself and you can put yourself out there, you can do a lot of stuff if you just push yourself. Like, I'm kind of with you. Like, I hate the molding and things like that with the kids because I said right now they're being conditioned. And my, my wife and I kind of call it the bubble effect. And even like high school, we call it the ball. And I was like, man, I need to write a book over this because everything that happens in high school, you, you're in this little bubble and you think that it's the most important thing in the world to you, but not realizing that when you get outside that bubble, you can do anything that you want to do. Have you ever been to New York? Like, New York is huge. Like, there is a ton of people there and you can do whatever you want to do. You know, and it goes back to my saying, you do whatever you want to do as long as you put your mind to it. I mean, there's a lot of people that have the same thoughts and have the same, hey, we love, you know, we love Tommy Flames. Oh, you know, there's not everybody's gonna love it, but there's gonna be a lot of people that do, you know. Like, it can be, it can be changed and done several different ways, and all you've got to do is just get outside that mold.

Yeah, I agree. Uh, yeah, and that's where, you know, a parent has to come and play. Um, and you have to be able to, you know, sit there and tell your kid it's okay to be you. You don't have to conform to what everyone else is doing. Uh, you know, independent thoughts allowed, creativity is allowed, uh, non-conformity is okay. Uh, at the same point, we don't want to, you know, be raising, um gorilla, uh, what do you call it, a complete rebel to society. Like, I'd prefer my kid not be that person.

So yeah, I mean, I definitely think that we, we all get where we're going with here, you know. But knowing that, I mean, this world's huge, you can do so many things, and you know, not everything you want to do, You can honestly, if I, if I could have gone back and told myself this, and honestly, like being a firefighter is the greatest thing. It's because I do have a lot of time to do whatever, you know, on my days off, whatever. But if you can go back and tell yourself out of high school, like, like you said, who cares what other people think and chase your dreams? Why is it that everybody stops chasing their dreams? They'll talk about it, but they don't ever do it. You know, like, dude, you picked up your family and you're in a, you know, a trailer now going across the United States with this idea. Like, I love it. Like, why not? One day you're gonna die. Are you gonna look back at yourself and say, hey, I tried having fun? Or you're gonna look back and go, damn, man, I should have did this, I should have done that. Like, crap. Like, look at all this stuff I could have done.

Yeah, I get it.

You know, I mean, I run— and again, maybe it's just me being a firefighter and seeing the different sides. And one of my buddies says that I analyze stuff so much that, you know, and that's a compliment. Yeah, you run those calls and you see these families going through this stuff and you're like, God, man, like, I don't want to be that guy that has regret. You know, but also I want to be that guy that's there for his family and hangs out with his kids while they're young and they still want to hang out with me, even though my wife said that they're going to stop wanting to. But I'm like, okay, I'm cool, like I'm Tommy Flames, like they're always going to want to hang out with me.

Yeah, well, and that regret thing's real. There's a lot of older people, 60 plus, that have some real regrets in life and, um, you know, and for a lot of them it's too late to do anything about it. But man, that's— I can think of nothing sadder than being, you know, in a nursing home unable to— and just sad and depressed that you never tried. Well, not even that, it's just, it's just that, you know, you didn't give 100, you didn't give it all, that you— the all the would-haves, could-haves, should-haves I mean, I, I think it is so much better to the psyche of a person, um, in the later years. I would rather be 80, broke, in a nursing home saying, 'And look at all these things I tried to do and failed.' I would rather be in a nursing home as a failure than being in a nursing home, um, wishing I had just attempted.

Yeah. Hey, at least you know you gave yourself an opportunity, right? You know, my buddy and I have this talk about retirement. And how, you know, and I'm not telling people not to save for retirement or not to like look at retirement, but just think of it this way. You spend all your life saving all this money for a time that, you know, why not do it while you're young? Why not push life? You're gonna have— why not try to build something now that you enjoy doing for the rest of your life, because when you retire, you're going to have to do something. My dad retired for a little bit and he was bored. He had to start doing stuff because he was just bored all the time.

So now you have different segments of the population you're talking to here, um, like you and your dad, you're going to stick in 20 years at the fire department, you're going to retire, you're going to be 40, and you're going to get a, um, a government-backed pension.

Right?

So it's a little— it's a little— it's a little different for people like you that have government pensions than the small business owner who's been doing it that needs to be stocking some away because you can't live on Social Security. You do have to have some money set aside. Um, at the same point, there's other people who don't— who don't make a lot of money, uh, because we just had this comment I noticed today on Instagram, um, saying, yeah, spend money, um, travel with your kids while you're young. And 100%, that's what I'm doing right now, although I'm already retired. Um, you know, I am 100% on board with that, but don't sacrifice your future. Don't spend all your money in your 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, and then get to 60, 70 and realize, oh crap, I don't have— so I think you should be doing both. I think if it comes down to it, you need to be taking care of yourself in the future um, and doing more free things with your kids. You don't have to blow all your money traveling with your kids. You can go to the state park an hour away and do a picnic with them. You don't have to go to Alaska on a $10,000 fishing trip.

Let me rewind that. Yeah, yeah, but try to build something for the future for yourself if that's what you want to do, you know. And that's kind of what I wanted to do was build something for the future. And yes, again, again, like I said, my situation is a little different because I do have a lot of time off. That's the great thing that I have that a lot of entrepreneurs don't, is I got the time off. I still, you know, I still get a paycheck, you know, where I look at my wife and I say, you know, man, like, some of these entrepreneurs, I think they fail because they don't have the opportunities that I have where I still get paid. They're, they're having this scratch and claw to sell this shirt because they don't get paid, you know, they don't have the retirement. Like, I have it a little different.

Yes, you get to build this thing up comfortably, and in 8 years you get to retire if you want to, if you don't want to do firefighting anymore, or you could stay in it, um, and then you have a pension plus a business that's 8 years old. And even if it's still small at that point, then you can put all your energy and focus onto it and really blow it up. Or maybe it's already huge, or you get out of the service, you know, 3 years early because who cares about that pension? You're a, you're a trillionaire, uh, off of Tommy Flames.

Yeah, I'd beat Jeff Bezos, you know. Um, But it's more of just like, just, I don't know, like just trying to teach my kids to go after whatever they want to go after. You know, during this pandemic, uh, my kids wanted to open a lemonade stand and I told them, I go, hey, uh, we need to sell shovels during the gold rush. You guys need to go out there to the corner and you need to sell hand sanitizer. And math. I was like, you want to make some money, there you go, go do that, you know. Like, I don't know, I guess it's trying to teach them this, the entrepreneurship of thinking outside the box, doing what other people aren't doing, um, you know, just look for the opportunities that they're not going to learn in school. Yeah, um, and do it, you know, do it while you're young when you can live at home with your parents and start. And you know what, if you don't want to do it— my daughter still wants to be a zoo tech or a zoo, uh, veterinarian, zoologist, whatever. If my boy wants to be an architect or build stuff, hey, that's cool. If you want to be a firefighter, be a firefighter, you know. Like, there's, you know, when I was— so many things that you can do out here.

So here's what I was told growing up, and it's always kind of stuck with me. I think it's one of the good things my dad always hammered in. Um, was whatever you do in life, just, just try and be the best at it. You know, I, as a little kid, I really wanted to be a garbage man, like back in the day where you could stand at the curb in the apartment complex with the pile of trash bags and the trash guys would let you toss in the bags. I tried, like, my kids want to do that and they won't let you do that anymore because of liability issues. Um, but you know, I would help them. So my dad was, listen, okay, if you want to be an NFL player, just try and be the best linebacker you've ever seen. You know, if you want to be a garbage man, just be the best garbage man you've ever seen. Just whatever you want to do, just, just be— he'll always say be the best at it. I've adopted it to, uh, yeah, try and be the best because, uh, I think the effort's more important than anything. Um, and I, you know, yeah, I mean, and it gives you, it gives you a sense of pride in what you do. Um, it gives you a lot less regret when you fail and a lot more— gosh, a lot more happiness and self-satisfaction when you succeed.

Yeah, because I mean, and what I've learned, you know, through this journey too is not everybody has the same mindset. You know, there is a lot of people that are comfortable, you know, especially firemen that they they don't want to do, you know, like my brother, he doesn't, you know, he doesn't have— I don't know, maybe he does have the ambitions and things that I want to do, but he's okay with just doing that.

Where I'm like, business ownership is not for everybody. I've— I used to think everyone should start a small business because, my gosh, you just pick up a $50 lawnmower and start mowing lawns and, you know, you're going to make it. I mean, you know, same thing with pressure washing, especially service-based businesses. I used to think everyone should do that because it was a great way to make money and become independent and have the lifestyle most people want. I've learned that not everyone has the personality for that. Not everyone, you know, you have a high D personality like I do. Not everyone can handle the challenges and adversity of it because small business ownership, I mean, you go from high highs to low lows. Multiple times in a day. I mean, it, you know, it's going to feel like the whole world's against you, um, and it's, and it's just not something everyone can do. And, you know, you have to be so good at so many different things when you have a very small business because, you know, you are— that's where I think firefighters are good at, they're jack of all trades. You have to know how to run the finances properly, you have to know how to do accounting, you have to know how to practically do whatever service you're doing and be good at it. You have to know how to market, um, you know, you have to know how to maintain your shop and, you know, make sure the bills get paid at the same time as, you know, as well as making sure your schedule for customers gets taken care of at the same time. You have to— I mean, every single aspect has to be done well, and you're the only one that can do it. And so I just don't think everyone's And built to handle that pressure.

Yeah. And if you are looking at, you know, starting a business, I, I love the service-based business aspect of it because like you said, is everybody, you know, not everybody wants their lawn mowed, but there's a lot of people out there that will pay somebody to mow their lawn and they have a problem. They want their lawn mowed. So you fix the problem. You know, where if you're trying to build a brand, like I said, there's problems, but it's not as easy as the problem as going to cut grass or go to power wash somebody's fence. Like, dude, you could, you could make a lot doing off that. I know a couple landscapers that they're doing really well on— like I said, they cut— they started cutting lawns and now they've sold that. Now they own a nursery. You know, so I love the service aspect of it because again, and it's that willingness to get—

yeah, that willingness to get down and dirty and do the unpopular, the unsexy, the unfun jobs to get to where you want to be. You know, I'll work in a sewer for a couple years to, you know, to be able to sell or be able to elevate to the next level. And that's just, that's not beneath me. And I think that's a great mentality to have, is to be able to sludge around in crap to get to where you want to go.

Yeah, I built houses before I became a firefighter, and about a year— and I had a great boss at the time that he looked at me, he said, hey, I don't want you to be doing this when you get older. He was like, you know, so he let me off all the time to get my EMT and my paramedic. He was great. You know, um, but he's like, man, you don't want to be building houses and doing, you know, like I want you to do, go keep going, you know? And the second that, oh, the summer right before I got on some, uh, Leavenworth County EMS and, uh, we put a roof on and I'm like, ah, shingling is the worst, especially for me. I'm, you know, 6'1" being, you know, down. So, but I mean, like I said, man, houses need shingles and it ain't cheap.

Roofing is real work, especially in summertime. I know, I know some roofers in Florida that just, it gets hot.

Yeah, yeah, a lot of guys. Yeah, dude, hats off. Like I said, it's, it's tough work, but you know, like I said, and then I've always heard, like, pro tip and all those shingles up.

Yeah, I've always heard the pro tip is get your, get your roof replaced in the winter, in the cooler months, because they do a better job than in the summer when they just want to get the hell off your roof.

So that's a good way to look at it, you know. And the funny thing is, is I remember I was doing, uh, right out of high school, I was doing construction cleanup, you know. We go behind everybody. My buddy's dad had And we were throwing, you know, all the wood away and stuff. And it was coming around 2008. And that's when my buddy's dad was like, man, I don't have too much work for you. You want to get on a rough-in crew? And I was like, all right, I'll do that. You know, so I went and talked to the boss and he was like, hey, yeah, go ahead and show up at, I think it was like 7 in the morning and we'll get you going. So dude, I went to Home Depot and I bought my tool belt. I thought I was so cool. I got my big old rough-in hammer. I got my tape measure. I thought I was, I was gonna build a house, right? I get there that morning, he said, uh, yeah, hey, uh, go ahead and take that belt off and see all that wood there? It needs to be in the house there. So it was like 3 months of just huffing wood around, you know? And then finally I worked my way up. I got my own nail gun and things.

So I did, uh, I did a—

come on, man.

I did concrete and block for a summer, uh, my freshman year of college. And, uh, yeah, that, that, that's real work in Florida in the summer of just moving blocks and mixing mud. And, uh, yeah, it's— I, I appreciate it.

I—

those things give you such perspective in the world. Same thing with— I feel like, uh, I want my kids to work in a restaurant at some point because it gives you such perspective to the world. Um, you know, not only how restaurants work on the back end, but, uh, how customers are. So there's just so much you can be learned in that. And construction, I think there's so much to be learned about what real hard work is.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And like I said, I mean, in our neighborhood they'll be building a house down the road and I'll be like, oh, you know, but I mean, dude, you do what you got to do when you're dead, you know, do what you got to do.

Well, and you know, a classic dad, uh, dadism is, you know, every time we drive by something that I helped build, I have to make sure my kids, even though they've been shown it 400,000 times, hey, I helped build that.

You know, you know, I built that house down that road right there, right? Yes, we know, we know.

And you will, and you're going to know for the rest of your life. I'll be 85 and still saying that.

Oh, and every single time you go into the hardware store and you walk by the stud finders, do you do beep-beep-beep-beep when you walk by?

Well, I keep them at my house just so my wife knows what she has.

My wife looked at me, she's like, really? Like every time? It's like, yeah, every time.

Listen, if you're not making jokes and having fun in life, what's the point?

Exactly.

Exactly.

I mean, so, but I, I love what you're doing and I love, like I said, I want to pick up and do the same thing where you said you've traveled across the United States and like I said, do book signings and everything. Teach, teach it, push it, like do what you want to do. I love it.

I, I think the best thing we've done out of this, and so it's actually opposite of what I would have said a couple years ago. Um, because a couple years ago I would have said, you know, hey, as a dad, as a parent, put your stupid phone down and pay attention to your kids. Stop living life through your screen. And while I still believe that, I'm actually more along the lines of, hey, phones are such good cameras now. Pick your phone up and like record when your, your kids are being cute at the playground. Record when you go on a hike. Not the entire time, but get segments of it because Uh, especially now that I'm getting older, you know, as if 34 is old, but now I look back and wish I had that stuff as a kid to look back on because my wife does have that because her parents recorded a lot. Do they have like family videos? Um, but like all the, all the videos we're making of the things we do and, you know, we, we edit them, we cut them down and get rid of the crap so it's not a boring video. Uh, but like we have a lot of that on our YouTube channel of, uh things we do, but like, we go back and watch that as a family, and it's that reminiscing. Um, as much fun as it is now, in 10, 20 years, especially when we like grandkids, things like that, or we're showing their, you know, their prom dates, the videos of when they're kids, of this experience we've had, like, it's like, it's— I, I think some documenting and recording is, is huge, and it's so easy. Um, that, you know, when you're at the playground, like, videotape yourself pushing, you know, on the swings. Now, like, what we do is, you know, if we're down there, I'll videotape for a couple minutes so we have that memory we were there, and then I'm actually playing with the kids. I'm not videotaping the whole time. I'm certainly not Facebooking the whole time. Um, but, you know, I, I think documenting and recording, um, even the boring aspects of your life are fun. You know, asking your wife to film you guys wrestling on the floor, uh, you know, filming picking up the screen printer, um, and then filming selling the screen printer, and maybe a quick interview of, yeah, this was stupid, just so in 20 years you have that to look back on. Yeah, so, so, you know, something like, are you crazy? It made sense. I actually, I followed your logic the entire way.

You know, but I was, uh, I was clearing stuff off my computer so that I could start getting the next video, um, recorded, and I came across, uh, my kids' videos from probably 3 years ago. My wife and I just sat there and we looked through all of them and we're just like, oh my gosh, like they were so small, like look at them.

And that's only 3 years.

It flew, it flew by. So it's like, dad, like, enjoy the small little times. Like, they will be big and almost taller than your wife soon, you know.

And my advice is actually record more often, um, and then if you have the time every once in a while— and you're, you know, you told me you were film editing for YouTube, so you have some editing tools— um, go through those videos every once in a while and kind of condense them because, uh, uh, it's— so this is what my wife's family does is we'll go back and they'll have like a 2003 video where, uh, her dad kind of watched it, watched everything, and he has an instinct for being able to cut out the boring stuff. So you could actually pull out the 2003 video, show it to complete strangers, your neighbors or whoever, and it's— it changes enough. You're not just watching somebody hike for 20 minutes with a shaky video.

Yeah, yeah.

Or, you know, you have some different cuts and you just cut the important stuff out and the good stuff to where like a stranger could actually watch it and it triggers the memories. It, um, you know, you can reminisce and it's actually enjoyable to watch. Um, you know, but you know, in 10 years it's gonna be hard to keep a folder.

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Like, hey, this is 2021, and then at the end of the year cut it all down and, you know, just make a quick highlight video of the year. That's a pretty good idea.

Exactly. And like, you know, you could have a folder under 2021 for your ski trip and your, uh, you know, your summer vacation and, you know, um, you know, school and whatnot. So that's one of the top things I've kind of learned on this adventure is, um, pulling out the camera more often and documenting, uh, I think is going to be really valuable down the line. And for us, it's even helping with the kids. We're doing You know, it's a unique situation where we're doing so much, um, that we're actually starting to forget some of the stuff we've done. Because, you know, in the last 8 months we've been to, what, 44 different campsites. So we are on the move and always seeing new things and going to different museums and different hikes and different parks. And, uh, we've just seen a lot of the country. And so we'll go back and watch our videos and be like, oh yeah, and just it re-triggers all those memories. So they're not completely— they're not forgotten.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, because I listened to that one podcast, I can't remember which one it was, and you were talking about how beautiful the plains were out in Kansas. And I'm sitting there listening to it, I'm like, man, them planes get pretty plain out there.

That's what— so everyone, I probably said this in that podcast, everyone says that I-70, right, that I-70 drive is boring.

Yeah, yeah.

And I was thrilled by it. And again, if I did that, you know, every day, I'd probably be bored by it. But I've never seen that much farmland in my life. I've never seen combines that big. It was, you know, I've never driven down— because we stayed at a farm, um, some winery, you know, we had to go off these dirt roads and GPS has no idea where you are. I ended up taking our 43-foot RV, you know, weighing 30,000 pounds combined, and crossing a creek with it because we got off on a side farm road by accident. And so I'm pulling that thing through mud like which was not a good idea to get to this farm. But like, I've never seen entire communities of dirt roads. Like, that's—

did you get— did you get some of that? Uh, see, this is what you need to be doing is you need to be making a documentary of you taking your family across country. Well, and then, and then at the end, that's how you promote your, your book.

Yeah, so we have it. We We do have that kind of footage. I don't think I got, um, we would have had the dash cam rolling. I'm not sure I pulled it off of us crossing the creek, but we definitely threw— when we were at the farm, which was about a mile away, I definitely threw the drone up and like did like a 360 in the air, um, you know, at like 400 feet, uh, so you can see all the dirt roads and whatnot. But you know, all Kansas looks about the same when you're 400 feet in the air.

Yeah, the Flint Hills are beautiful, but like I said, we go to a ski trip out in, uh, we're going to Breckenridge this year and we drive through, and this year I'm like, I gotta fly, I can't do that drive anymore.

Oh, it's a great drive.

It wears on me, uh, it's a great drive after I get a speeding ticket out in Abilene.

So, oh geez. So I've never, um, had less fuel mileage than I did crossing Kansas. I guess I was pushing into a headwind.. And all of a sudden, I thought I had like 2 days worth of fuel. And like, all of a sudden my alarm goes off that I have 50 miles left. I'm like, how the hell did I? And then I went to open, then I went to open my door. Like we pulled off somewhere. I went to open my door and door went flying open. My hat flew off, was rolling down the road. Like, so we had gotten out cuz my wife heard a weird sound and it was our mud flaps on the front wheels from the wind just being flapping all the way up and hitting the backside or the undercarriage of our Like, man, that wind is strong.

Yeah, so as a kid, we would drive out to Denver in my dad's big old conversion van. And like you said, as you look back at it now, you know, my brother and I were in the back, jacking around, no seat belts on, nothing. You know, we had a little TV down there, you know, as we got older, but that was our vacations.

Yeah, I remember those conversion vans. We never had one, but my friend did, and they had an inverter set up, and he would have video— like, he had, you know, those old box TVs strapped to like the food table, you know, Velcroed and strapped on with a video game system plugged in, and, you know, a series of inverters to plug in those, uh, those devices. It was, it was fun. We actually got to play video games. You know, they had real curtains and plush seats.

But I mean, but the, the awesome thing about it is look at what your kids get to see you doing as a grown-up, you know, that they get this opportunity to learn and you get this all this experience to teach them where one day if they ask you how you did it, you can tell them, you know. Sure.

Well, that and just themselves, they're gonna have a very unique perspective on the world. Because, you know, even as something simple as just their education, when they learn about geography, they're going to have seen just about everything they can possibly learn in geography. When they learn about world history or even American history, they're going to have seen the battlefields. They're going to, um, you know, have seen an Indian reservation, what it's like. They're going to have seen, uh, so many museums that all this stuff's going to click better for them. Uh, and they're just going to have a perspective on the world that's, that's very unique. And I think that's going to be, uh, have a very positive impact on them. And we hope we can— this can continue and we can continue to go over to Europe and Africa and South America, you know, when— once they're older, of course, uh, and to have unique world perspective. Um, I think one of the things I've been thinking I really want to do, um, because I'm, I'm a little worried I'm spoiled we're not quite spoiling them, but, um, they're getting to live a life I certainly didn't get to live. You know, we eat out at nice places a lot, um, uh, but not because we're fancy, you know, we kind of are, but because we're in all these different areas of the country and I want to experience the cultures and the foods that are unique to here. Um, you know, we go a lot of museums, a lot of a lot of, uh, fun places, parks, experiences. Uh, you know, they don't hear the word no a lot like they used to because we— when we were at home, it was very structured and everything was, you know, essentially the same every day and by no means spoiled. And now it's just constantly doing new things and fun things, and I'm worried they're getting a little bratty, especially the older one. A little spoiled and entitled. Um, and so one of the things in the future I, I want to do, uh, I'm more and more convinced of it, is do like a third world, uh, third world country mission trip. I mean, get with the church and go over there so that they— so that, you know, we've seen pockets of poor neighborhoods and things like that. Um, you know, and talked to an insane amount of homeless people. Uh, you know, and you can definitely do those things, you know, if your kids lose perspective, you know, Serving in a soup kitchen is going to give them perspective. Um, you know, you can go down to, uh, you know, foster homes, help out, things like that. Probably not in a COVID world, uh, but I want to make sure they have a perspective of how good they have it, even if they were broke in America. Uh, you know, Haiti is a shithole. Um, you know, lots of parts of Africa, you know, hell, there's not even running water. Um, So I, I think that's something we will probably do within the next 10 years, is, is maybe spend some significant time, uh, you know, it— on a mission in a third world country helping out, whether it's providing fresh water, building houses, you know, one of those, those normal things churches do, uh, because I want to make sure they have that perspective as a world. And I am a little bit worried.

Yeah, I think it would be— it's hard with the technology and stuff that we have nowadays. Like, I feel like everything's so easy access that, you know, like, I don't know, my wife and I have talked about it. I mean, one thing that, you know, we've always wanted to do was go, you know, to the Children's Hospital and talk to the, you know, the kids and show our kids that it's like, hey, you, you need to be happy for what you've got because, you know, some kids don't have what you guys the opportunities that you have.

Or some kids go through illnesses and stuff that, you know, sure, you're, you're crying because you didn't get a piece of chocolate cake today, and this kid's over here fighting cancer. Yeah, screw you, in a sense.

Exactly. Yeah, yeah. But I definitely understand where you're coming at with it, where, you know, I mean, and it is kind of cool. We do have some friends that his dad's made some pretty good decisions and they, you know, are pretty well off. But, you know, for their birthdays and Christmases and stuff, instead of them getting gifts, they, you know, they make a donation and go do stuff like that. And I always thought that that was pretty cool that, you know, hopefully to try to humble eyes, you know, hey, that's a good idea you have and things like that.

I like that. We don't, we don't by any means give our kids every, everything they want, but that's a really good idea. Maybe for Christmas one year in the future, uh, um, yeah, that's a really good idea. I like that. Yeah, because you have enough, you don't need another new toy. And yeah, that's going to feel good. Yeah, I like that. I might be stealing that idea.

Or like you said, or you get a bunch of toys and you take them down, you know, the Children's Hospital or, you know, something like that. Where again, like, sometimes you don't see it, but it actually happens all the time. And I think that's one bad thing about, you know, our society is everybody doesn't believe some of this, the stuff that goes on in this world, you know. It's because we just all live in this happy-go-lucky world where it's like, hey, it ain't, it ain't that easy out here.

And the same point if you're, you know, you know, if you're in a Brooke family, I think getting over to the wealthy side of the neighborhood and seeing how other people live, um, you know, so you don't just think, you know, your whole life has to be in this one pocket of neighborhood, um, that there are other options and other opportunities out there. There are people who, you know, pulled themselves up and, and, you know, made something of themselves. You know, I think it goes both ways.

Definitely, definitely, definitely. I like that. All right, so like I said, if you guys want to get more, stop by the YouTube channel. It's, uh, Tommy Flames. Uh, the website is tommyflames.com, and you go on there, I've got free coloring books for the kids. Most the videos that you can follow along, I'm trying to get it all where every video's got a coloring book to follow along. But go to the website, get your coloring book, and then get to the YouTube channel and check us out. Tommyflames.com, and I'm Tommy Flames.

All right, I appreciate you. Thanks for coming on.

Welcome to Tommy Flames Firehouse. I'm Tommy Flames, and I want to go over two things with you today.

First, we're going to learn how to make a fire escape plan.

Then we're gonna practice our fire escape plan. Step 1: we need to draw a map of our house like this.

We need to draw the walls one color.

The next step is we draw the doors a different color.

And that, my friend, was Tommy Flames on YouTube, so check him out. It's definitely a good watch. I I just watched a few of them and it was a good time. Uh, this is Townsend Russell on 100% Dad, interviews with dads. Thank you for checking us out.