You Are More than Enough or Are You and Why You Still Can’t Find a Prince on a White Horse?

What's up guys, this is Coach Andrey V. Karpov. So just wanted to record this special video about relationships. I talked about love previously and explained how I see it, but I just want to kind of give a little bit more emphasis on what's happening in our society lately between, you know, men and women. I'm just going to look at it from a classical standpoint just for the purposes of this video, and I'm going to explain to you what I have observed curved tremendously for a while now. That is a huge problem, and this problem could really, really be eliminated, uh, both from beginning and both at the end when, uh, the situation occurs. So a lot of women and men at the borderline of being 40 years of age, which I am, I'm 40, right? So technically speaking, around 35 to 45, in that range group in between they all are suffering from inability to find the right partner. Now I'm gonna just, again, to narrow down the selection for the purposes of this video, to make it simple for all of you out there, kind of like myself in a way, um, guide you on how I see it, of course, what the problem is and how to make it simple, right, in terms of finding your right partner. So for that purpose, I'm going to refer to men as masculine, and I'm going refer to women as feminine. Okay, and what that is, hopefully all guys know. Masculine men being really chivalrous, being very decisive, getting themselves together, being entrepreneurial, being leaders, um, being able to demonstrate qualities of taking care of a woman, um, and at the same time, you know, by most part hopefully having a good childhood, good relationship with their parents, especially their mothers. Not a case with my case, but it's just, you know, that's beyond the point. You can still be a masculine man even if you had a difficult or even traumatic childhood. You can grow that in you. Entrepreneurship helps a lot, highly recommend it. Now feminine women are usually women, despite the contrary, right, what a lot of people think, they can be business owners, they can be very successful, they can be very well educated, but they can still be very feminine. They can want a man's care, a man's company in their life, for man to guide that relationship, to lead that relationship, not manage, not control, but lead from a standpoint of masculinity and be able to take care of a woman, not from the standpoint of sponsoring her and really, pardon my French, buying her from the standpoint of her body, or intimacy, but from the standpoint of really taking care of her, pampering her, unleashing her femininity, and by doing that, actually expressing his femininity— his masculinity, forgive me. And so that all allows to have a healthy bond between masculine males and feminine females. What is the problem? The context that we have, I'm thinking like a pitch deck, startup pitch deck kind of a you know, schedule here. Um, the problem is that a lot of women, when they reach 40— we'll take that as a medium age or whatever, something around that— they are in a state where a lot of them have everything they need. They got money, they got a house, they got a car, um, they have nice clothes, they have girlfriends. They don't have one thing, and they have kids, right? They don't have happiness. Why is that? Why is that? Well, because— and again, I'm narrowing down the selection to my observations. I'm not trying to defend anyone here, say anyone's bad, good, uh, or just my perspective based on multiple recollections and what I've seen so far, uh, in being in the sort of in the dating market in a way. In fact, passively being in that dating market. I don't really use dating apps. Um, the thing is, they all are expecting a prince on the white horse, uh, these females, right, that were divorced, that have multiple kids, that have a hope of building happiness with a man. Now, there's some good cases out there actually where they truly want to be loved and they want to love. And that works. There's no problem with that because, you know, we all have to go through certain cycles in life where we were married. I was married, right, uh, too, and I loved and things didn't work out, but I became a better self, as I feel. And, you know, my transformation took place. It is unfortunate when a person is married, specifically a woman in this case, and she sees her past as abusive past, as unhappy past. He this, he was that, I'm trying to do this with him, he doesn't understand, you know, we're going through child alimony, support, all that. Like, it's just like a lot of that stuff that they bring into the next relationship, or even the date. For Christ's sake, you are on a date! Why are you talking about this? And then they come up with, how many times were you married? How many relationships did you have? When did the last relationship end? Tell me about it. So who left? You left? She left? And like different questions. And some questions are okay. But here's the thing. Let it go. Let that shit go. Pardon my French. Seriously, let it go and focus on what you have in front of you right now. You want to be happy or no? Actually, you want to be happier. If they say they want to be happy with someone, that means they're not happy internally. You cannot be happy with someone. You can be happier. You got to be happy inside. You got to be fulfilled. You got to have fun. You got to plan your life out. You're in a short-term period, like what you're going to do. Read a book, work a little bit. I don't know, go see a concert, work out, spend time with your pets, paint something. I don't know, watch a movie, travel, whatever. Cook, cook. Yes, ladies, cooking, cooking. Okay, I cook a ton. So the question is, why are you not cooking? And they all think that we men want to get a woman that will cook for us because we can't do anything. I gotta tell you something, I iron, I sew, or sew, or whatever that's like, right, when your clothes rip. I cook. What else do I do? I clean. I organize my apartment. I run a business, multiple ventures actually, to be correct. I do my own accounting and finances. I do sales. I do marketing. I do social media. I do a ton. Question is, why can't you do that? Oh, because it's a convenience. I see. You don't want to do that. You have enough money. Someone can cook for you. Someone can iron your clothes. Someone can pour your wine. Someone can, you know, take care of your pets. Someone can sit with your kids while you are doing what? Trying to find the prince on the white horse. Not gonna happen. Not gonna happen. 100% guarantee. 100, not 99.9. 100. Not gonna happen. Why? Because Love is about giving, and love is about realism, and love is about passion, love is about creativity. It will not work if you are not ready to truly engulf yourself in a state of the right mindset. Guess what it's called? True agile mindset. Correct. It's not because Dre said it, because honestly, there's— you can look up different other mindsets and there will be some similarities, but my mindset is built upon agile ability to take what's happening externally, accept the change. You don't have to agree with the change. It's like Trump, right? You don't have to like him, you can hate him, but the truth is you gotta accept them. It's a fact, he's there. You can't do anything with it. You can't. You're gonna waste your energy, you're gonna waste your life. Let him be 4 years, here's out, then somebody else is going to be, then Mickey Mouse, okay? It doesn't matter. What people don't understand is that life is constant and vibrant and infinite by most part, meaning what's happening in the universe. You are not. You only have so much time. It's not about I'm young, I'm not getting younger, I'm getting older, all that. You can come up with any excuses. Get your shit together. Start eating healthy. Start exercising. Start reading. Don't tell me you don't have time to read. I'm sick of hearing that. Seriously, I'm sick of hearing that. Read, find an audiobook, drive, read, okay? Cook, try it, burn some things, that's okay, throw it out, cook again. Get a pet, learn how to love, get a dog. Honestly, dog is better than a cat because they're just constructed differently. Nothing wrong with cats, but they're constructed differently. Um, I don't understand how much more do you need to realize that you can be happy, ladies. You can be happy. The problem is you are looking for something unicorn— speaking startup words— when in fact is you are not unicorn yourself. You need to be realistic about where you are in life, who you are, and what is it that you have to offer. A man is not a Big Mac. You can't order fries, Big Mac, and a milkshake. I'm just giving that as a fun analogy. I don't eat that stuff, but It's like you can't pre-configure it. This is what my expectations are. These are what my love languages are. That's what I'm looking for. So this is a red flag. I liked how you did this, but I was hoping you would do that. Like, sorry guys, no, no, no, no, nope, nope. You gotta take the person for who they are. Like me, Dre, I'm the way I am. Damn right, I am the way I am. And because I am the way I am, lots of women love me, but not a lot of them, if any, make it with me. Why? You will say, well, that's your problem, Dre, maybe you should change. No, I don't. I don't have to change. I don't. I'm me and I'm happy with the way I am. Do I want someone in my life? Absolutely, absolutely. To share the joy, to share the love. But I'm not gonna change my value system and my mindset just because Just because you have something to offer from an intimate perspective? Come on, be real. I'm not buying that. I have something to offer too. I know passion, I know love, I know Kamasutra. So what? So what? What is it that I really have to offer? My heart, my soul, my commitment, my mindset, my ability to love you. To take care of you, to protect you, to make your life exciting and adventurous, if you're willing to sign up for that. What do you have to offer me? Competition in the form of you have a better house, you have a better salary, and you work with a therapist, with a, you know, Reiki coach, with Andrey V. Karpov, uh, I don't know who else, with a gym coach, with a priest. Everybody's telling you different things. You don't know what you really want. You need more time for yourself. It's been like 10 years you're trying to work on this. Then you meet someone like Dre, you fall in love, and then what happens? You're like, oh my God, this can't be true. Hmm, you can't. It can't. You know what the funny part is? Dre is Dre. I was this way when I was 20, okay? I was obviously a little bit more, you know, um, what's the right word, juvenile, or more maximalistic, or younger, like, you as hotheaded, but I was real. I was me. Real talk, real Dre. What about you? Are you real? Are you trying to play a game? That's the question. So ladies, get your shit together. Be real. Open your heart to love. Stop competing with men. Be feminine, because that's what Mother Freaking Nature designed you to be. It really did. You're going against nature. Again, I'm referring to classical females in relationship to classical men. I'm not exploring other options for the sake of this video. I welcome and love everybody. Do what you want to do, love anybody who you want to love. But for the sake of this video, specifically referring to that, if you want a prince on a white horse, a chivalrous knight who's got himself together, successful, handsome, ready to love you and embrace you, you gotta do exactly that or even more. It works exactly that way. You have to stop thinking about what you're gonna get from a relationship and start giving, period. No options here, no options. So just wanted to leave you with that thought. Other than that, truthfully, with all my heart, want you to be happy. Like, really want you to be happy, all of you out there, single souls. But remember, solitude is not bad. You can be happy on your own, but you can be happier with someone else. But you gotta find that right vibe. You gotta be— come across vulnerable. You gotta talk about your mindset. You gotta talk about your values. You gotta talk about your vision. You shouldn't change your major plans or ambitions for that other person. But if you wanna love, love fully, openly, kindheartedly, or don't love at all. That's what love is. Don't play a mind game. Don't like, I'm not gonna do that because it's gonna come across this way and that way. I should— men usually don't do the women that don't, don't, don't. A woman that sees in you, man— and referring to men right now— a woman that sees in you the right man, she's gonna appreciate you, she's gonna love you. You won't have to say anything. She will see the man in the jacket. She will see that man. Okay, it's, it's complex, or as my friend Andrey V. Karpov in Florida says, it's tricky shit. Tricky shit. It really is, because there's just— it's so simple, yet it's not. And all you gotta do, both men and women, slow down, Be real, communicate. And yes, you need to unconditionally accept each other, but at the same time, if you have a situation where the other party, the other partner, is willing to change from a logical perspective for their sake, to match your pace— I'm going to repeat this— to match your pace, to not be like you or do what you do, to match your pace. That's actually a green flag. That's good because you are influencing someone else. The question is the length of transformation. The question is how the other person wants to transform. Like, when my ex-wife left me, that catalyzed me. Within 6 months, I was a different person from ground up, by most part. It took me years afterwards to optimize my new, uh, Avatar Andrey V. Karpov. But reality is you can change. You can be a better version of yourself. You can be happier. You can be more successful. And sometimes, even if you need to, you can cry. You can cry in your pillow at night that the world is tough, but it loves you. The universe loves you. The world loves you. It's not against you, as I've told you before. And you'll meet that right person at the right time. You don't have to put a lot of effort, you don't have to conduct a major search, but you got to be real you. And only then will the universe appreciate you and respect you because you're respecting yourself. And a right woman will come into your life. And don't judge people. People have a right for mistakes. If they have 2 or 3 or more kids, that's okay. Question is, who are you actually falling in love with? With her? With him? Or are you, are you mad, worried about the kids? Nobody says you have to be the sponsor of them. If you can love a woman that will give you children, or that you can love a woman that has children and she suits you in many different ways, from many different parameters, the universe will make you mega successful so you can help support that family and those kids. So again, just a reflection: you don't have to strive for absolute perfection. Only, okay, she needs to be a little younger, she needs to be not married ever, ideally she should be a virgin so she only was with me, uh, she needs to be educated, she needs to be polite, she needs to have an ideal family, she needs to have this, this, this, just— were you kidding me? Are you kidding me? Seriously, like, it, it— that does not exist. Almost doesn't. And if it does, I would be very skeptical because there's a lot of gray matter in there— gray area, I mean. It's like, you need someone with experience, but you need someone wise that knows that what was in the past does not present the future. Future is here with you. Concentrate on that person I'm speaking to both of you, men and, and, uh, women. Focus on the future, live in the present. The future is now. Reality— past was a reality. Okay, so I hope this video was helpful. I know it's 20 minutes. Thank you for watching till the end. I would even make it even more brutal for you if I could, but YouTube probably would ban it if I were to talk real talk to you, but the truth is you've got it all. You can find the right person. You got to be real you, and you got to stop living in the world of this classical therapy where everybody is told that they're good enough, you don't need anyone, have your sip of wine, make sure you collect your alimony, make sure that you have your house, you maintain your job and suit your boss, and like, you know, dream of one day that you'll leave and eat the No, you won't. None of that will happen because you are materialistic, you're transactional, you're judgmental, you're living in the past, not the present, and even not the future at all. And you're doping yourself with fun, fun things but bad habits that deprive you from living a better life you could and being with the right person you could be. Stop interviewing people on dates. Stop competing with them. And you know what, one more thing: run away on an adventure. Seriously, don't think about all the obligations you have. Seriously, if you got to sell a home and your man wants to conquer the world and launch the most amazing business that they can in a different place. They have balls. Thanks God they do. They're masculine. Embrace them, love them, support them. They will not fail, and if they do, they will rise up from the ground and make sure that they succeed after that. Allow them to fail, but support them so they don't. I hope this video was helpful, guys. Real talk. Your coach, Dre, your executive coach, your strategic consultant, your life coach, your dating coach. I love you guys. I'm here to help you in any way I can, sharing the stories from real battlefield May the true agile force be with you. You got this.