112. Why Being Selfish is Selfless

Hey. Hey. Welcome back to Friday Bullpen Sessions. Today I'm going to talk to you about being selfish. Yeah. How being selfish is actually a selfless act. Now I'm going to dive into what exactly that means. So before you go jumping down my throat, you got to hear me out. Now, the next few Friday Bullpen Sessions podcast episodes are going to be really dedicated to mindset shifts. And they're not going to be long episodes, but they're just going to really be lasered in on helping you make that small shift in your thinking. That could be the game changer you need in your business and your life. And if you're an athlete, the game changer you need in sports. So today I want to talk about being selfish and how being selfish is actually a selfless act. I was listening to a podcast interview a couple weeks ago with Jesse Itzler. And if you're unfamiliar with who Jesse Itzler is, he has had a massively successful career. He was the co founder of Marquee Jet, which he ended up selling for mega millions to Warren Buffett at NetJet. He was co owner, co founder, I believe, of Zico Coconut Water. And he's now one of the co owners of the Atlanta Hawks. His wife has also done pretty well in her career. Sarah Blakely, the owner and founder of Spanx. So I was listening to the podcast and Jesse was getting interviewed by Tom Bilyeu. And he went into, he said this quote that actually it just stopped me, you know, and I love listening to these types of podcasts where you feel like you have to get a pen and paper out just to take notes. But what Jesse said was, Tom, being selfish is actually a selfless act. And what he meant was this.

When you're selfish, meaning when you take the time to take care of yourself, in many cases put yourself first, what you are doing is making sure you show up as the best version of you for everybody else. And this really hit home for me because where I went with that, when I heard that quote, was thinking about all the non negotiables in my life. You know, I've talked at length about my morning routine, right? Get up every single day. And I do the same thing. Amy and I do the same thing every single day. Pour our cup of coffee, I jump in my ice cold shower, I watch instructional video, I meditate, I journal, I do my breath work, I exercise. And that may seem like a lot and that may seem like selfish. Now I admit, as we've talked about, I do not have kids. I do not have some responsibilities that you might have in the morning. But there was a time in my life where I thought, especially with the exercise, because I do it every single day, that it was selfish. I can recall times where instead of maybe quite frankly hanging out with Amy, instead of getting an errand done that I know needs to get done, or maybe even, you know, a task for an activity for business that has to be done, I chose to go work out. And it took me a long time to realize what the result was when I did give myself that space to go exercise. And here's what it here, here's where I landed. Here is what I finally came to realize, is when I gave myself that space to exercise. When I made exercise a non negotiable in my life.

It put me in a position where I felt good about myself. It put me in a position where I felt accomplished. It put me in a position where I had probably the highest level of confidence I would have. So in turn, it allowed me to show up as the best version of Andy Neary for everybody else in my life, including Amy. In fact, Amy said to me one time, it wasn't all that long ago that, you know, she's actually kind of jealous sometimes of how selfish I am with things like working out. Because.

Today when I wake up, I don't even think twice about whether or not I'm going to exercise. Just, yeah, I'm going to do it. It's part of my day. And yeah, I probably put exercise in some of the things I do to put my mind and my body in a good position to win ahead of other, other important things in life. But here's why I do it. I know that when I am at my best, I'm going to show up my best for everybody else in my life. So that's the advice I want to give you today. That's what I took from that quote I heard Jesse Itzler say on the Tom Bilyeu on Tom Bilyeu's podcast. It's there is nothing selfish about taking care of yourself. There's nothing selfish about putting yourself first. It's why when we all sit on an airplane before we take off, the pilots and the flight attendants are telling us we need to put our mask on first before we put anybody else's mask on. We have to help ourselves first before we can help anybody else. And I think right now, especially right now with the type of environment we're living in, it is so desirable to want to help others first. And it is very honorable it is very easy to want to put everybody else in front of yourself. Hell, I've witnessed people like my mother, who is one of the greatest human beings alive, do this her entire life. She has put everybody else in front of her taking care of herself. That's just the kind of human being she is.

But the flip side is it's so easy to get caught up thinking putting yourself first is a selfish act, when at the end of the day, it is actually a selfless act.

Because if you do it the right way, if you approach it the right way, and you realize that when you take care of yourself first, it's going to let you take care of everybody else and everything changes.

And so what I ask you to do today is sit down and start thinking about where you need to add some non negotiables in your life. You know, are you waking up every day knowing that something like meditation or exercise would put you in a really good position to take on the day, but you know, you're letting others needs get in the way? Again, don't get me wrong, I know if you have children, very important, you take care of the kids in the morning.

But are you letting everybody else's needs set precedents over the most important need in your life, which is taking care of you?

Sit down and digest that.

You know, when we went into lockdown a little over a year ago, I remember sitting down with Amy and having a conversation just within days of locking down. You know, at that point, if you remember, it was just, hey, we're gonna shut down for two weeks and everything's gonna be fine. We'll be back up and running. Yeah, that was 12 months ago. Thirteen months ago. Some places in this world are still completely locked down. My virtual COO lives in Toronto. You could barely go outside.

Because they're in such a state of lockdown and we're over a year removed from when we went into this pandemic. But when Amy and I sat down days after we went into lockdown in Colorado, our conversation was focused on, okay, we're in a good spot. If we just focus on taking care of ourselves first, financially, mentally, physically, we're going to get through this just fine.

We decided, yeah, we're going to be a little selfish. We're going to have some non negotiables in our life. And that starts with number one, how are we taking care of our body?

What kind of food are we putting in our body? Let's use this time to make sure we are exercising every single day.

Let's make sure we are using this time to put our body in peak state. Number two, and maybe even more important is let's use this time to make sure we're mentally strong. What are the books we're reading? What are the podcasts we're listening to? What does our meditation practice look like? Our breath work that we have since jumped into? Who are we spending our time with? I think that one is more important now than it's ever been. You know, you've heard the old phrase, you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. Who are you spending time with right now? Are they positive, uplifting people? Are they negative? Time sucks. Those are all non negotiables you need to be placing into your life. Those are selfish decisions in many cases that you need to be making. But again, if you want to show up as the best version of yourself, you got to put your mask on first. You've got to do whatever you need to do to make sure you are in the best position so you can show up as your best for everybody else. So like I said, this podcast wasn't going to be long today, but that quote from Jesse Itzler, being selfish is actually a selfish, selfless act really struck home with me because for a long, long time I felt very selfish in a negative way that I took the time to exercise and probably put that exercise, taking care of myself over other things in my life, in some cases other people. But I did it because I knew that it was going to allow me to show up as the best version of Andy Neri every single day. It's what allows me to take on the day no matter what comes my way. And so I really want you to take the time to think about that today. Where are those areas in your life that you are putting others needs, putting other things in front of, taking care of you? Because again, one more time, if you spend the time putting yourself first, having those non negotiables in your life where you know if you dedicate the time to do it, you will show up as the best version of you for everybody else.

Everything else will take care of itself. So that's the mindset shift I want you to make today. Being selfish is actually a selfless act. And you know, as I say every week, when clarity and confidence come together, massive action happens. Go take that action today. Put those non negotiables in your life and show up as the best damn version of you every single day.