129. Overcoming Imposter Syndrome

Hey. Hey. Welcome back to Friday Bullpen Sessions. My name is Andy Neary and this is episode 129. Today I'm going to talk to you about imposter syndrome. Yeah, I've actually had a past episode.

Well over a year ago, actually dedicated to this. But I wanted to circle back as it's something that I have dealt with myself recently, and I definitely deal with it when I am working with my clients. So I thought I would talk about it today, what I just experienced recently and how I worked my way through it because I think it could help you. So, yeah, imposter syndrome. Let me, let me set the stage. So a couple weeks ago, I had the fortunate opportunity to sit on a panel. I've been working with a great organization about you Outreach. It's a fascinating, fascinating program that helps New York City football players who often don't get a lot of attention from the big schools, the recruiters at the big schools, just because, you know, the schools down south, the SEC schools, the ACC schools, often aren't coming up into the New York City boroughs to check these kids out. A lot of good talent, but they're just not getting the chance to be seen. And so Patrick Godfrey is somebody that I've connected with. He does a lot of work through about you Outreach to help these kids get that exposure that they deserve. And so I had, I've had Patrick on this podcast before, but anyways, he flipped the coin on me, flipped the script and had me sit on a panel that we had a couple weeks ago where we had probably 150 young athletes from around the country listening in to this panelist of three, myself included, talk about all of our experiences as pro athletes, the mindset it took to get there, some of the, maybe the weaknesses we had as pro athletes, more from a mental than a physical perspective, and just our opportunity to give these young kids some advice and make a big impact on them. But I have to admit, here's, here's where the imposter syndrome comes in for me. So here I am on this panel and it's myself and two other gentlemen. Now, these two are former NFL football players, Coy Wire and Eric Will. Eric Jackson, excuse me, are former defensive backs in the NFL. They actually spent quite a while playing in the NFL. We're talking somewhere between five to 10 years, and they had a lot of success. You know, Coy spent some time with the bills, the 49ers, a few other teams. Eric Jackson spent a good chunk of his career with the New York Jets. So here I am, the guy that played a couple years in minor league baseball, right? And when I saw who I was going to be sitting on this panel with, I have to admit, imposter syndrome set in, that, that thought of, why am I on this panel? In fact, I, I should probably be in the crowd, the audience listening to these two guys versus just joining them on a panel. And it was so interesting because as we started fielding questions from Patrick, who was the moderator of the panel, and then from the kids, Patrick asked a question that really impacted me in a way that I didn't think it would until actually the panel was over. We had finished and, and hung up for the night. And the question was this.

If you had a chance to go back to the, and talk to the younger version of you, that young athlete that was playing pro baseball in the Milwaukee brewers organization, what would you say to yourself?

And the answer I gave him was, don't fear failure. And I definitely was a, I definitely feared failure back when I was 21 years old. But when the panel was done, I thought about that question and I realized, holy cow. Actually, the advice I'd give that younger athlete, the 21 year old version of Andy Neary, was the same emotions I went through that night, the imposter syndrome. You see, when I signed as a free agent with the Milwaukee Brewers.

I spent the majority of my time in that organization not feeling like I belonged. And as, as difficult as that is to share, it's just the truth. You know, I was a free agent, right? And I'm playing with guys who were drafted anywhere from the first round to the 50th round. There used to be 50 rounds. Some guys signed for millions of dollars, hundreds of thousands of dollars, right? And here I am, this free agent that they signed for $500 and a plane ticket to Helena, Montana. And so I often didn't feel like I belonged with these other guys on the field. And, you know, here are guys that played at some of the biggest college, college baseball programs around, right? And I came from uwm. Most people don't even know where that is. And so I'll tell you, you know, for two years, I spent far too, too much time not feeling like I belonged. And for a while, my performance was really good, my stats were really good until that mindset really took over. And I, I let that mindset unfortunately take over and it started impacting my statistics as a professional baseball player, as a pitcher in the Milwaukee brewers organization. And I thought about that, that imposter syndrome of not Feeling like you belong. I mean, it's hit me in other areas of my career that was just the. The baseball side, right? Well, when I got into insurance, you know, especially when I started having success later on in my career here, I had multiple bouts of imposter syndrome. I can remember joining a mastermind that included advisors who had thriving insurance agencies. And here I am, I'm like, who am I to be part of this group? Yeah, I was invited. That's awesome. I feel blessed. But do I really belong here? I'm not so sure, you know, and then. And then when I really started to go all in on my public speaking career, same thing. Here I am on stages that I didn't think I'd be on, and I'm going, do I really belong to be on this stage? Am I the right person for this? The right person they should be listening to? And even up to today, now here I've got a successful coaching business, and there's days the imposter syndrome still sets in because I. You know, it's easy to compare yourself to other coaches out there who have really successful businesses and have fascinating stories and fascinating histories. Yet here I was on this panel, right, with Eric Jackson and Coy Wire, who have fascinating stories. Some of them childhood struggles that they overcome to become these unbelievable football players. You know, Coy played college football at Stanford, Eric at Washington State. They go on to NFL careers. And I am now sitting on the same panel with them.

And so as I sat there and thought about it after the panel was over, I realized.

That, yeah, when I think about it, and I think about all the questions we were asked that night.

I do belong on that panel because though I didn't make it all the way to major league baseball, all the way to the major league level, and Coy and Eric, they played at the NFL level. We all went through the same struggles. When I listened to their answers as Patrick fielded, as Patrick threw questions at us, when the questions came in from the kids, we all went through the same struggles mentally and physically, right. You know, the doubts. When those guys were trying to get recruited to Stanford and Washington State and then eventually get signed or drafted to play in the NFL, they had the doubts. Well, whether or not they had that ability to play there, they compared themselves to their teammates and their peers at the NFL level going, man, do I belong? And I realized that, yeah, even though I'm sitting here in this moment having my own.

Imposter syndrome next to these two guys, these two guys had their own feelings of imposter syndrome, when they got to the NFL, when they, when they up leveled their surroundings. And that's what I want to share with you today. That's really the message I want to hammer home is when you're having success, what happens is you often find yourself with new surroundings, you find yourself in a new place. You up level, whether it's the competition, right? Whether it's your friends, your, the people you choose to surround yourself with, Success often includes a leveling up. And it's in that leveling up. For me, it was from high school baseball to Division 1 baseball and then from Division 1 baseball to pro baseball. Those steps up each and every time, whether it's in sports or in business, requires you to level up your thinking, right? You have the skill, otherwise you wouldn't be there. But guess what else levels up? Your peers, your friends, your competition, the accountability. And I think that is where it's so easy to let that imposter syndrome set in.

You're now looking at a new playing field.

But here's what's so interesting. If I could use my pro baseball career as the example, even though I was now at a new level professionally, I am now a paid baseball player. Guess what? I put my uniform on the same way my teammates does. Even though that guy next to me, he's a first round draft pick who signed for $1.8 million, puts his pants on just like me.

He has the same doubts in his own abilities that I have when I walk out of the locker room onto the field, onto the diamond. Those bases are still 90ft, the mound still 60ft, six inches from home plate, still the same height as it was back at UWM and probably back in o' Connor High School. Nothing really changed if you think about it. But what.

Ultimately changes the way I thought about.

Who I was and whether or not I belonged. And so that's the advice I want to give you today. If you're a young athlete listening to this episode, a successful business professional who might be experiencing newfound success, it is so easy to let that imposter syndrome set in. I've had multiple conversations with insurance advisors where they start getting momentum, they start having this success, right? They're leveling up, they're leveling up their business, they're leveling up who they're surrounding with. And all of a sudden they're like, do I deserve this? Do I belong here? And when that mindset sets in, it's a form of sabotage again. I look back at those two years in minor league baseball and Allowing imposter syndrome to take over who I was definitely sabotaged my success. I think if I would have gone with more of an approach of damn it, I do belong, damn it. These guys put their uniforms on just like I do. The same baseball field, new surroundings. I think I would have had a lot more success. But like I said, imposter syndrome definitely had an impact on my career, both in sports and business. But I don't want it to happen to you anymore. I am here to tell you, if you're having success, you belong. You deserve it. Right? As long as you are a good human trying to help others do good things, you deserve every single piece of success that you're getting right now. And if you find yourself at a new surrounding, new competition, the competition's better, right? The people you're hanging out with maybe are a little bit better. Meaning as far as the accountability, what they're doing with the accomplishments, just know they have the same doubts, the same fears. You do. You belong, though. You belong with the crowd. And so that's where I want to end this. Today wasn't a long episode, but I wanted to throw that, that, that pat on the back to you. Newfound success often leads to imposter syndrome, and I'm speaking from a lot of experience, whether it was in my baseball career, my insurance career, or just a few weeks ago, sitting on a panel with two former NFL defensive backs who I, quite frankly, what's in awe of and didn't feel like I belonged on the same panel with. You belong, because at the end of the day, we're all the same. So you know what happens when clarity and confidence collide? Massive action happens. So go make it happen today.