68. The Greatest Advice You're Not Getting

Foreign.

Hey, hey. It is Friday. It is time for Friday Bullpen Sessions. My name is Andy Neary. Each week I deconstruct my journey, my struggles through professional baseball to help unpack yours so you can live a life on purpose. I take the lessons I learned in baseball and help you apply them in business and in life. So if you're ready to join me, grab your glove, grab a ball, get ready to take the mound, and get ready, bear down to strike out the limiting beliefs in your life. All right, here we go.

Hey, hey. Welcome back to Friday Bullpen Sessions. This is episode 68. This week's going to be a really interesting topic. I'm going to share an event that happened to me a few days ago, something I uncovered during a meditation practice. And it led to man, it led to some self discovery, it led to some emotion, and it also led to some of the best advice I've been given in years. And I want to share that little story with you today because I think it can really help you.

Self reflect today. You know, we've been talking about this nonstop for the last five or six months. 2020 has brought a lot of opportunities for people to just self reflect, look at where you are today, where you want to go tomorrow, and what the hell you want your life to look like from here on out. So I want to help you do that today, but I'm going to do it by going back to the past. But before we get there, I want to make a quick invite. On November 16th, we're going to be launching the 10 day holiday challenge. What the heck is it? Well, here it is. It is 2020 and you are.

Struggling to manage your calendar. You're struggling to master time management right now. Why? Because you are playing employee, business owner, father, mother, husband, w all in one day. Every single day. Your kids are at home getting schooled. It's just a crap show right now of people trying to own their day. But the problem is the day is owning them. Number two, daily habits. Where are you with them right now? Do you feel like your habits are locked in or, you know, over the last six months with everything that has gone on, do you feel like you've waned a little bit? You just don't have that energy, you don't have that drive. You once had to get up, lock in those traits, those habits. You need to own the day. If that's you, I want you to join this holiday challenge. In fact, you need to join this holiday challenge. Here's all you have to do. Simply text the word challenge to 414-622. 1462. That's challenge to 414-622-1462. It's going to be 10 days. You're going to get free coaching every single day. And when you participate in every single day, all 10 days, you're going to get entered in to win some cash, an episode on this podcast. It's going to be fun. So get your butt over there. You're not going to want to miss out. All right, back to this week's episode.

So let's talk about this journey I went on a few days ago. So let me paint the picture for you, paint the backstory. Because it was something that was completely unexpected, but it was also one of the best exercises I've done in a while and I received some advice from a very unexpected source. So it was last Saturday. I've been participating in a 20 day meditation. I don't want to call it a challenge, but Jay Shetty, you may know the name, he's a big influencer out there. Today. I just bought his book Think like a Monk, which I'm excited to dive into. And in promotion of this book, he went on YouTube and he's got a mass of millions of YouTube followers. He went and did a 20 day meditation challenge, or I don't want, you want to call it a journey and adventure. So I've been following day by day, chiming or checking in each morning to do this meditation. And so I believe it was the meditation day eight. I sat down like I normally do in my, the chair that I use when I meditate on the weekends and turned on my YouTube, went to the video with Jay Shetty, turned it on, close my eyes, just like I would do every single time. Now, this meditation was a little bit different because.

Normally Jay goes into, you know, your breathing, goes into what you want the future to look like. He does a lot of visualization. He lot, he does a lot of work on just calming the brain, getting it present right. But in this particular.

Meditation practice, he actually had us going back to the past. So as I closed my eyes, started listening to Jay, what he asked us to do or asked me to do since no one else is in the room with me. But he asked me to go back to my childhood.

So I closed my eyes and I was immediately taken back to my childhood home. Now my parents still live there, so I still go back, still get to visit that house. But it took me back to being at my house as a kid. Now he said, pick an age.

Go back to your childhood and pick an age. For me, for whatever reason, I went right to my 11 year old self. Now what made that really interesting is When I was 11, I was an overweight kid, I was chubby, brought on a lot of self confidence issues.

A lot of self worth issues, a lot of self doubt. I was that kid for the people out there, the males out there listening in that were also chubby or a bit overweight. As kids I wore husky pants. Remember the size husky. But yeah, the second I thought of my 11 year old self, I literally felt the emotion welling up inside of me because I could picture that kid, that kid that was overweight, that kid that was chubby, that kid that was so afraid what others were saying about him, was afraid that others were going to pick on him. And.

I instantly felt the emotions start to well up inside of me. And what I imagine or what I envisioned was sitting on the back porch at my parents house, sitting on the back porch table, the picnic table they have there right today. And I'm sitting across from my 11 year old self and I can literally picture myself sitting there as a 42 year old today, talking to my 11 year old self. Now the first part of this meditation was nothing new, something we've all done before. The first part of the meditation, Jay asked.

To go back and talk to your 11 year old self, give that 11 year old self some advice. Now we've all done that, right? You've always been, you know, we've always had that question come up is what, what advice would you give your younger self? Whether it's the age when you first got into the business world, the age when you first got into whatever you're doing today, or all the way back to you being a kid, what advice would you give? So that was nothing new, right? I told my 11 year old self that hey, things are going to be better, you're going to grow out of this, you're going to get out of this, you're going to do some great things. Get ready, in about 10 years you're going to be playing professional baseball. I mean all these cool things that I got to tell this 11 year old kid about what his future is going to look like. But here is where I had the holy shit moment. So I'm thinking, okay, this is nothing new, this is kind of a cool exercise. But then Jay spun it, Jay turned it, Jay flipped it on its head and he said, now I want you to look at that 11 year old version of yourself. And I want you to listen. I want that 11 year old version of you to give you advice.

Whoa.

So I sat there literally envisioning, visioning myself as a 42 year old sitting at that picnic table, staring at that 11 year old version of me.

And that younger version of me started talking and today I want to tell you, I want to share with you the three things he said to me. That.

Was some of the best advice I have received in years. It got me emotional. In fact, I started crying because it was completely unexpected. I didn't expect Jay in this meditation practice to literally turn it around on you and say, listen, I want that younger version of you to give you advice. What? Holy shit. Unexpected, but also unexpected, amazing advice. And so I want to share that with you today because I think these three things that my younger version of myself said to me could really help you. And I want you to digest what I'm about to share and I want you to use this as an opportunity to self reflect. It's late October, we're about to enter a crazy two weeks, right, with the 2020 presidential elections here in the United States. And so I think it's about to get, it's going to get a lot more interesting in the next few weeks and what we've experienced so far. So I want you to give yourself a chance to really pause, self reflect. And so here's what happened. Here I am picturing myself, 42 year old, sitting at this table on my parents back porch and the 11 year old version of me starts giving me advice, starts talking. Now I could picture myself and I had a higher voice right back then, right? Go back to when you were 8, 9, 10, 11 years old, right? You had a higher pitch. People may have made fun of your higher pitch because you hadn't quite hit puberty yet. So this higher pitched, 11 year old, overweight version of me looked at me and this is what he started saying. He asked me a question. First thing he did was ask me a question. He said, Andy, are you happy? Are you happy with who you are? Are you happy with what you're doing? Are you taking the time to find joy in the little things in life right now? And I have to admit that stopped me in my tracks because.

I've been guilty in the past 15 months as I'm growing this coaching business.

Of not taking enough time to enjoy life, right? It's my first venture in entrepreneurism, trying to do big things constantly, feeling like I have to be focused, I have to be on the go, have to be working And I admit I have not taken time to.

Pause and really find the joy in life. So this got me a little emotional when that 11 year old version stared at me in the face and asked this question. Now the funny thing about this, or the ironic thing about this is just a couple weeks ago, my own coach, Christina had asked me this question. But hearing it from the 11 year old version of me was unbelievably powerful. So this is the first question I want you to ask yourself. I want you to sit down, maybe close your eyes, go back to your childhood, envision that 10, 11, 12 year old version of you, and have that child ask you that question, or just look in the mirror, ask yourself that question. Are you happy right now? Are you happy with your current situation, whether it's with your family.

Your job, Are you in the right career? Do you have hobbies that you enjoy? Are you finding joy in the little things? It's so easy today to get caught up in this bullshit we're dealing with, right? And so, and let this so easy to let this negativity just absolutely envelop everything you do. And you have to take time to pause, to find a little joy in the little things in life. Like a warm cup of coffee on a cold day like today. I'm sitting here recording this on a day we in Colorado are getting hammered with a snowstorm. I'm finding joy in the snowstorm on October 25th because hopefully it's what our firefighters need out here to stop this, these crazy wildfires from continuing to grow, continuing to do so much damage in the mountains. And so it's just finding joy in this warm cup of coffee that's sitting in my hand on a cold day, staring out at the snow and finding joy in the snow, even though it's not time for winter, right?

So that's the first question I want you to ask yourself is, are you happy? Are you finding joy in what you do? Do you need to pause right now and take time each and every week to just smile, just laugh, just find joy in the stupid shit every single day? I know that's something I'm going to challenge myself with and I want you to challenge yourself too. The second thing that 11 year old, chubby little version of myself said to me as he sat across that picnic table from me was Andy, live for today.

Who gives a shit about tomorrow? Tomorrow will come, but be present, Be here today. Live for today. How true is that, right? I mean, how often do we get caught up of thinking one year, three years, five Years from now, Right. I use it as a coach. Right. One of the things I. I challenge my clients to do is think long term. My coaching is all about building for the long term. But you know what? We got to be present, too. We got to live for today. Every day you get up, I want you to be thankful. I want you to be grateful that you get to play this game, Whatever this game is for you. Whatever it's. If it's raising your family, being that father, that husband, that mother, that wife, that business owner, that employee, whatever it is, be grateful right now that you get up. You get the chance to get up and play the game. Be present. Just live for today. If there's one thing we have all experienced in 2020 is there is a ton of uncertainty about the future. Right? So all we have is today. So I urge you, just like I'm going to urge and challenge myself, is every day I get up, I'm just going to be present. No matter what I've got tomorrow, no matter what I've got next weekend, no matter what I've got one year from now, it'll come, it'll be here. But I need to be present. I need to be in the moment. So that's what I want you to challenge yourself with right now. Look in the mirror, close your eyes. Talk to yourself. What do you need to do to get present today? What do you need to do? Whether it's a conversation with your kids, spending a date night with your significant other, it's so easy right now to get caught thinking about other things, thinking about tomorrow, and we're missing out on today.

So when my younger version asked me that question or gave me that advice, I should say, man, again, it made me pause. Number one, he threw the question at me. Am I happy? Am I finding joy in life? The second thing he said to me was, screw tomorrow. Just be here today, because that's all we have.

And then he threw this third thing at me, which actually got me pumped up. So the first two, the question, and then the second piece of advice really got me emotional because it's things I've struggled with. Finding happiness, being happy, finding joy, being present. I mean, these are all things I have been guilty of in the last year or two, especially with Amy, especially with those that I love. And I know I got to work really hard to be better at those things. But it was this third thing my younger version said to me that really got me pumped up because he was so right. And think about this. Go back to your childhood this is what he said to me, he said, andy, I want you to wake up every day and just play all out, leave it on the field.

Don't take plays off today in preparation for tomorrow. Aren't we all so guilty of that right now? Have you ever found yourself waking up saying, you know what, tomorrow's a really big day, I'm gonna take it easy today. How about those athletes we watch on tv whether it's in basketball or football, right? Those guys that are accused of taking plays off. I hear it all the time about wide receivers in the NFL, right? They don't go all out every single play. If they know the ball's not coming to them, they take the playoff. Not you wake up every day to play all out. Go back to your childhood. Remember those summers when you were a kid? What did you do? You got up, you ate breakfast and then you just went out and played all freakin day. Number one, you had to be dragged back in for lunch, right? Number two, you ate lunch, remember this? You walked in, your mom had lunch ready for you, ate it as fast as you could, and then you went right back outside to play and then you had to be dragged back in for dinner. In our household it was with a bell, right? I can remember as a kid, I lived on a circle and I was one of the youngest kids in a neighborhood that man, we had at least 20 kids, it was a great place to grow up. And I can remember every night in the summer around 5, 5:30, parents would come out of their front door, call their kids in. In our house, it was, Ann, Andy, time to come home for dinner. You're like shooting, alright guys, I gotta go. And you go back home for dinner. And again, you would eat dinner as fast as you could because you wanted to get back out. Because in our neighborhood in the summer it typically meant it was a night of kick the can. Who remembers kick the can? Hell yes. But think about this. That was your day. Day after day in the summer, you got up, you played all day, you had to be drug home to eat so you could go back out and do it all over again. Are you applying that same mindset to your work, to your career right now, to your being a parent, being a husband, being a wife? Are you getting up every day and playing all out or are you taking plays off? You taking it easy today? Because you know, I'll wait for tomorrow.

When this younger version of Andy threw this advice at me, I was like, hell yeah, you are so right. And I, even though I feel like I'm disciplined. I feel like I hold myself accountable. I know there are still days I don't go as hard as I should, and that got me jacked up. And I want to get you energized to quit taking plays off, especially here in 2020. I've talked to far too many people who are waiting and seeing until 2021. I'm taking it easy right now just to get ramped up for a better 2021. Knock that shit off, wake up right now and start playing all out every single day. As a mother, as a husband, as an employee, as a CEO, whatever it is you do, wake up and go all out every single day and literally have to be dragged back in every night because you want to get up and do it all over again the next day. Again, guys, because we have a chance to get up and go to work right now. Be a dad, be a mother, be a husband, be a wife. That's a blessing, right? So we just need to enjoy this stuff a little more. So that's. Those were the three pieces of advice this younger version of myself gave to me just a few days back. It was a completely unexpected moment in my life. Close my eyes for the typical meditation practice that I do every morning. But I. Little did I know that Jay Shetty was going to take me down this path of having this discussion with my younger version of myself. And the advice he gave me, man. You know, number one, asking me if I'm happy. Asking me if I'm finding joy in life right now. Telling me that I need to live for today. Screw tomorrow. You only have today. And then waking up every day and playing all out. Don't take any plays off. Life's too short. Just keep going. Go all out. Go hard. Work hard. Play hard every single day. Because that's what this life's about. And that's the advice I want to give you today. If you don't feel like you are where you want to be right now, you don't feel like you're happy, look in the mirror. Ask yourself, are you happy? Are you finding joy in what it is you do? If it's not, do something else. Whether it's finding a new career, switching company, starting your own business. I don't know what it is, but find something that brings you joy. Find something that brings the passion and the fire within you. Find those hobbies that you can enjoy to bring that passion and that happiness and joy to life. Number two, just live for today. This is all you got. Be present whether it's at work, working on a really tough project or just having a simple conversation with your kids, your wife or your parents, be present. And number three, go all out every single day. Wake up, be blessed that you get to play this game and then play that game all out. Because I know I'm going to do those three things right now. And I'm excited for what the future holds and I want you to have the same excitement for your future. So I live with these words of advice that my 11 year old version of myself gave me. And maybe you take 5, 10 minutes sometime this week, close your eyes, have that conversation with your younger version. I think you might be amazed at what you hear. So with that being said, go out, blast off next week, have a great weekend. And you know what happens when clarity and confidence collide. Action happens. Go make it happen.

Hey, thank you for taking the time to listen to this Friday Bullpen session. If you are enjoying these episodes, please do me a favor, go over to Apple, subscribe, give it a five star rating. And if you know of anybody in your life, whether it's in your family, personal life, your friends, business colleagues that you think would find benefit in listening to these episodes as well, do me a favor, please share the Bullpen sessions with them. I'd be extremely grateful if you did and again, go out and make it happen today. Thank you. It set your mindset.